Bo: Hello there, podcast listeners, and welcome to the spookiest time of all, early November.
Bo: The store aisles are filled with Christmas decorations, even though you haven't settled on the least objectionable family members to spend Thanksgiving with, and there's that nip in the air that says you'll probably be fantasizing about drinking while the kids tell you all about how much money you'll be spending at Christmas.
Bo: It's a veritable November wonderland, a Novemberland.
Bo: But while your soul withers inside your body, we offer a way to fight back against the encroaching existential darkness, a podcast we call Pick Six Movies.
Bo: And how does this podcast serve as a balm to the soul?
Bo: Well, clock this.
Bo: Every season, we pick six movies based on a central theme, and then we spin a yarn and then make fun of it.
Bo: The whole thing only takes about two hours, and we find it offers at least one moment each episode where you can feel superior to your host, Chad, my old pal, and Bo, that's me.
Bo: This season is season 22, and we call it Deja-U.
Bo: We're doing a six pack of inferior remakes to classic horror films, and this one may be the inferiorest of all, 2010's A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Bo: There's bad makeup, bad CGI, sleepy acting, and lots of reminders that the original was really good while slogging through this hapless retread.
Bo: So kick back and relax, remind yourself that you're a valuable member of human society, and while away another couple of hours with your old pals.
Bo: So Chad, let's do this.
Chad: All right, we are back in the studio with Garrett, the intern.
Chad: And Garrett, we are recording this introduction on Halloween day.
Chad: Can you believe you have to work on Halloween day, Garrett, the intern?
Chad: Such a big day for people like you, big horror movie fans, all that spooky stuff going on around your world there, Garrett.
Chad: Garrett, you got big plans for Halloween later tonight, Garrett?
Chad: For what?
Chad: Your neighbors are cool with that?
Chad: Oh, you live in an apartment, okay.
Chad: You think the cops are gonna be cool with it?
Chad: Well, you know, this episode won't come out until after Halloween, so I will look forward to hearing about your tricks and treats when we meet up again after you get out of jail for doing all of that stuff.
Chad: All right, we are recording the intro to A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Chad: Quick, Garrett, who wins in a bare-knuckle knife fight, Wolverine or Freddy Krueger?
Chad: Come on, Garrett.
Chad: No, I did not know that there was an epic rap battle between Freddy Krueger and Wolverine on YouTube, Garrett.
Chad: Thank you for sharing that with me.
Chad: You know what I'm gonna do, Garrett, after we finish recording this introduction?
Chad: That's right, Garrett, I'm not gonna go watch that epic rap battle between Freddy Krueger and Wolverine.
Chad: You're getting my vibe now.
Chad: Let me ask you this, Garrett.
Chad: Did you know that the Cambodian genocide was responsible for the creation of Freddy Krueger?
Chad: Ha ha ha ha!
Chad: Finally, something Garrett the Intern, who knows everything about horror movies, doesn't know about this horror movie.
Chad: Garrett, lay down some appropriate music for me to share how Freddy Krueger came to be a horror movie icon.
Chad: From 1975 to 1979, Marxist dictator Pol Pot ruled Cambodia in an attempt to create a master race that led to the deaths of over 2 million people in Cambodia.
Chad: Many people were executed because they weren't down with Pol Pot's means of running the country or they die from starvation or disease.
Chad: Roland Joppie's Oscar award-winning film, The Killing Fields, told the story of this time period and it's based on the experiences of two journalists, Cambodian Dith Pran and American Sydney Schoenberg.
Chad: Pol Pot's rise to power was rooted in a communist insurgency that took hold during the 1960s when the country was still ruled by a monarchy.
Chad: The Khmer Rouge was a brutal regime that was an armed extension of the communist party in Cambodia.
Chad: A military coup in the 70s kicked out the monarch and then the Khmer Rouge hooked up with the deposed leader of the monarch in an effort to bolster support from the people of Cambodia.
Chad: This led to a five-year civil war with the military fighting the Khmer Rouge, who eventually won the war, but decided not to restore power to the deposed prince.
Chad: Who gave them all their street cred earlier and instead turned power over to the aforementioned Pol Pot.
Chad: First order of business was to rename Cambodia to Campuchia and set up a communist agricultural utopia, joining the rural farms with the urban cities.
Chad: Pol Pot also reset the calendar to year zero and he isolated the country from the rest of planet earth.
Chad: What could possibly go right with this plan?
Chad: Next, Pol Pot resettled thousands of people who lived in the cities to farming communes and he outlawed money and ownership of private property and religion.
Chad: And this went about as well as you'd expect.
Chad: All these city folk working on farms started dying due to being overworked and having a lack of food.
Chad: Enemies of the state were executed, including intellectuals or potential leaders of a revolution.
Chad: Now, supposedly they killed people that even appeared to be intellectuals, including folks who wore glasses or could speak more than one language.
Chad: With life in Cambodia being so awful, people did what you'd expect them to do.
Chad: They left.
Chad: And among those leaving Cambodia, many of them found themselves immigrants in the United States, including not only people fleeing Cambodia, but also Laos and Vietnam, who had their own troubles going on at the time.
Chad: And once in the United States, something unexpected happened to some of these immigrants.
Chad: Reports of Asian refugees dying in their sleep began to increase.
Chad: At the time, the medical community dubbed the condition as Asian Death Syndrome, and it mostly impacted men from their early 20s to their late 50s.
Chad: That pretty much covers most men.
Chad: Anyway, researchers did what they do.
Chad: They researched and they figured out that the cause of these men showing up dead in the morning after falling asleep was caused by Bregatta Syndrome, a condition where the electrical activity of the heart gets all out of sorts and causes sudden cardiac death, oftentimes when the body is at rest.
Chad: It's a genetic condition that is more prominent in Asian men, which received more attention due to the increased immigration stemming from the genocide in Cambodia that Pol Pot built.
Chad: This rise in death from this mysterious condition showed up in a few small articles in the Los Angeles Times and they caught the eye of a rising filmmaker named Wes Craven and inspiration took root.
Chad: Wes Craven started out teaching humanities in upstate New York.
Chad: He wrote fiction and tried to get his work published, but that didn't go anywhere.
Chad: Craven moved to New York and he got a job working with Sean Cunningham.
Chad: Please see episode 2 of this season to hear more on Mr.
Chad: Cunningham's career and how he was the guy that brought us Friday the 13th.
Chad: Wes Craven worked with Cunningham on some low budget films and they were able to get enough financial backing for Craven to make the film Last House on the Left, a horror movie that Garrett the Intern has seen multiple times because he's a lovable weirdo according to the t-shirt that he's wearing right now.
Chad: And no, Garrett, please don't order me one.
Chad: I'd be so embarrassed if we both wore that to work on the same day.
Chad: Wes Craven got to make a second movie, The Hills Have Eyes, and he got some positive feedback.
Chad: He did some work in television, then he directed the film Swamp Thing.
Chad: And you can listen to season 5, episode 2 for more on that movie's sequel, but in the introduction, we talk a lot about Wes Craven and Swamp Thing.
Chad: Now, Swamp Thing is a delightful adaptation of the DC Comics character, and it's this low-budget movie that made no money.
Chad: And since it made no money, Craven was out on his ass and couldn't get work for three years.
Chad: What did he do to fill that time?
Chad: Well, Wes Craven smoked weed, and he did cocaine.
Chad: Then eventually, he decided to get his shit together, and he wrote a new movie script based on some newspaper articles he read in the Los Angeles Times.
Chad: In an interview with vulture.com, Craven recounted how he read about this family that escaped the killing fields of Cambodia and made their way to the United States.
Chad: One of the sons in the family started having nightmares, and he was afraid that if he fell asleep, that something chasing him in his dreams would catch him and kill him.
Chad: All the grownups dismissed his worries.
Chad: The son struggled to stay awake for days at a time, but he eventually fell asleep, and the family heard him screaming at night.
Chad: They rushed in to see what was going on, and he was dead.
Chad: A young man having nightmares, dying in his sleep, hey, that's a great idea for a screenplay.
Chad: It kind of writes itself.
Chad: Well, actually, Wes Craven kind of writes it himself.
Chad: At the time, New Line Cinemas was a distributor of movies to college campuses after finding success in introducing the movie Reefer Madness to undergraduates at universities across the United States who were very interested in smoking marijuana.
Chad: New Line decided to start making their own low-budget horror movies.
Chad: Bob Shane was the owner of New Line Cinemas, and Wes Craven pitched his idea for a movie to Shane, who loved it, even though every other studio in Hollywood had rejected the idea of a movie about a killer attacking people while they slept.
Chad: Craven got an initial budget of $700,000, but that escalated to a whopping $1.1 million.
Chad: Investors one by one backed out during pre-production of the film with half the money coming from a Yugoslavian investor who just wanted his girlfriend to be a movie star.
Chad: Don't we all?
Chad: Craven's story would differentiate itself from the hulking slashers of the day.
Chad: You're Jason Voorhees's.
Chad: You're Michael Myers's.
Chad: You're Leatherface's.
Chad: This new villain, Freddy Krueger, as he would be named, would stalk and threaten his victims, having more in common with Dracula than the lumberjack and lumbering Frankenstein's is.
Chad: To play this new character, Wes Craven cast an up-and-coming actor named Robert England.
Chad: England had gained notoriety as an alien in the NBC miniseries V, which was picked up for a full series.
Chad: England auditioned for the movie as an opportunity to get some work while the show was on break, and it fit his schedule.
Chad: Craven said he ultimately cast England because he had the ferocity to actually be mean to children.
Chad: Now, to fill out the rest of the cast, Craven tapped Heather Lenkincap to play Nancy.
Chad: At the time, she was a freshman at Stanford, and she had done some television and commercial work in the past.
Chad: Veteran actors John Saxton and Ronnie Blakely played Nancy's parents.
Chad: Saxton had a long career in television and film, and Blakely had an Oscar nomination for her part in Robert Altman's film Nashville.
Chad: Everybody else were pretty much complete unknowns.
Chad: Actor Nick Corey, not his real name, well, at the time, he was homeless, and he was also doing a bunch of heroin, especially during the filming of the movie.
Chad: Admittedly, he was high in the scene where he talks with Nancy from the jail cell.
Chad: They originally wanted Charlie Sheen, but why would you pay top dollar for a drug addicted actor when you don't have to?
Chad: Jeff Levine, who you never heard of, played the coroner in this movie.
Chad: Now, why is that important?
Chad: Well, it was Levine who went to Wes Craven and said, Hey, I got this friend in town and he's got a band, but he wants to get into the movies.
Chad: His name is Johnny Depp.
Chad: Never heard of him.
Chad: Craven got Depp's headshot, took it home with a bunch of other headshots and showed him to his daughter and her friends and said, Hey, who would you pick?
Chad: And they unanimously said, Ah, Johnny Depp.
Chad: And this was the first time that Depp would appear in any movie as the love interest of the last girl standing, Nancy.
Chad: The plot of Nightmare on Elm Street centers around Freddie Krueger, who was a child murderer and he killed 20 kids in and around the greater Springwood, Ohio area.
Chad: The case goes to court, but wouldn't you know it, Freddie Krueger gets off on a technicality.
Chad: So all the area moms and dads whip up a fresh batch of mob justice and they burn Freddie Krueger alive until he's dead.
Chad: So Freddie Krueger returns in the dreams of the children to kill these kids to get back at the parents who killed Freddie Krueger because he allegedly killed all those other kids.
Chad: It's a vicious cycle.
Chad: In the movie, most of the kids are pretty well adjusted, well, except for the inexplicable nightmares and the effects that they suffer by a shadow man who wants to kill them.
Chad: It's the parents who are a real mess in this movie.
Chad: Booze, pills, divorce, lies, screaming, baseless accusations.
Chad: There are bars put on the house to keep the teenagers inside at one point.
Chad: It sounds like Thanksgiving growing up in my home.
Chad: And thematically, the story is really about children paying for the sins of their parents.
Chad: Wes Craven said that the original character of Freddie Krueger was to be a child molester, not a child murderer.
Chad: However, some high profile cases in Los Angeles at the time dealing with child molestation led to Craven adjusting the villain's backstory.
Chad: Craven decked out his original villain in a signature olive green and red sweater because Craven read an article in Scientific American that noted that the pairing of these two particular colors were the most difficult for the human eye to perceive correctly.
Chad: This sweater was intended to make audiences consistently feel discomfort when looking at the nightmarish Krueger.
Chad: Craven also wanted to distinguish his bad guy from all of the other big screen bad guys killing teenagers left and right.
Chad: Machetes, chainsaws, brute force, all of these had been taken by these modern day cinematic monsters.
Chad: Craven wanted something more delicate and he thought, hey, how about steak knives, but on a glove?
Chad: He went to his special effects guy Jim Doyle, bing bang boom, we got a glove with knives.
Chad: The movie was shot in just over a month in the summer of 1984 in Los Angeles, California, which is why you see palm trees appearing in Springwood, Ohio, the city where the movie is supposed to take place.
Chad: The filmmakers didn't have much of a budget and the movie improvised and utilized every ounce of creativity to get the movie made.
Chad: Craven wanted a fantastic death at the beginning of the movie to hook the audience, so the crew built a rotating room with all of the items nailed down and a cameraman strapped into a seat against the opposite wall.
Chad: Crew members rotated the room around, while the actress playing Tina would roll around the rotating room appearing to get dragged across the walls and ceiling to find gravity.
Chad: This effect was first used in 1951's Royal Wedding, where Fred Astaire danced from the floor to the walls to the ceiling of a room.
Chad: The effect was also famously used in 2001's A Space Odyssey and in Tobey Hooper's Poltergeist.
Chad: The filmmakers reused this exact same set for the death of Johnny Depp's character, Glenn.
Chad: They flipped the bedroom upside down and decided to pour a flood of red water simulating blood out of a hole cut into the bed.
Chad: When it was filmed upside down to look right side up, this produced the effect that blood was exploding out of the bed and pooling on the ceiling.
Chad: They had to get this in one shot.
Chad: Craven called action, the crew dumped the gallons of water in, it poured down or maybe up depending upon how you were looking in the shot and it immediately began to settle around the light fixtures on the floor or ceiling of the room.
Chad: You know what I mean.
Chad: And this mixture of water and electricity came together, causing one crew member to actually get electrocuted.
Chad: Also, the weight of all of this red water shifted to one side of the room and the crew operating the set lost control.
Chad: The room rolled completely over, ripping up cables and ropes and rigging, sending sparks flying into the dark.
Chad: The blood water poured out onto the floor, out of the windows, all over the crew who struggled to gain control of the situation.
Chad: Now, luckily, nobody was seriously hurt or at least that's what they told their insurance company.
Chad: The scene where Nancy is attacked in the bathtub was accomplished by building a bathroom set over a swimming pool.
Chad: The melting staircase was done by using pancake mix.
Chad: The illusion of Freddy Krueger coming through the walls was done using spandex.
Chad: And all of these memorable moments from the movie, A Nightmare on Elm Street, were all practical effects.
Chad: They were low tech, special effects, and they looked amazing.
Chad: Sure, they almost killed a couple of people, but they looked amazing.
Chad: Craven included a shot of Sam Raimi's The Evil Dead as payback for Raimi featuring the Hills Have Eyes in the movie The Evil Dead.
Chad: Then Raimi paid Craven back by featuring the Freddy Krueger glove in the work shed in The Evil Dead 2 as well as in Ash vs.
Chad: Evil Dead.
Chad: Sean Cunningham came in and helped with some second film unit shooting for some dream sequences, and all of this shows how this group of rising horror movie makers had each other's back to some degree in the effort to make new and innovative scary movies at the time.
Chad: The movie hit theaters the same year it was shot, November 9, 1984.
Chad: Why wouldn't you release this a couple weeks earlier before Halloween?
Chad: That is so weird.
Chad: When it came out, critics complimented Wes Craven on creating a brand new monster myth.
Chad: Craven was out of his slump with the invention of this new Boogeyman of Your Dreams, and the limitations of their budget actually worked in the favor of the filmmakers as critics and audiences alike felt that the camerawork and practical effects elevated the movie in more technical and imaginative ways.
Chad: The ending of the movie was dinged for being a little lackluster, but Wes Craven and his team, they went through quite a few endings to land on a finale for the film.
Chad: And this pseudo dream sequence was really the best of the bunch.
Chad: The original Nightmare on Elm Street has a 95% freshness rating on Rotten Tomatoes and is praised for being original, intelligent and horrifying.
Chad: Budget for the film, $1.1 million.
Chad: Box office haul, $57 million.
Chad: Garrett the Intern, when a movie makes that much money, what happens next?
Chad: That's right, Garrett, you get a sequel.
Chad: Nightmare on Elm Street put New Line Cinemas on the map.
Chad: It was the studio that Freddy Krueger built.
Chad: The success of Nightmare on Elm Street and its sequels led to the company producing the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.
Chad: They struck gold again with the Blair Witch Project.
Chad: Now, what do all these movies have in common?
Chad: Well, the originals are pretty good and all of the sequels, they stunk.
Chad: That was especially true for Nightmare on Elm Street 2, Freddy's Revenge.
Chad: Wes Craven was not involved in this project and it was rushed into production to hit theaters one year after the original in 1995.
Chad: This sequel focuses on a male lead character named Jesse, who moves into Nancy's house from the first movie.
Chad: The sequel is described by some commentators as being the most homoerotic film to date when released due in part to scenes where the male hero Jesse meets up with his gym teacher at a fetish club and later sees that same gym teacher tied up naked in the school gym showers where an invisible towel whips the gym teacher's ass while Jesse watches.
Chad: Garrett the Intern and horror movie expert is Nightmare on Elm Street 2, Freddy's Revenge, a movie filled with homoerotic subtext.
Chad: Garrett says absolutely and I'm going with Garrett on this one.
Chad: Robert Englund returned for the sequel, but not because producers wanted to pay him.
Chad: They considered just putting some rando in a rubber mask to save a buck or two, but they quickly realized that won't work.
Chad: The movie comes out and it's a critical failure, but movie cost, three million bucks, movie made, 30 million bucks.
Chad: So we're getting ourselves a part three and the return of Wes Craven.
Chad: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Dream Warriors, was based on an idea from Wes Craven and fellow writer Bruce Wagner.
Chad: This movie takes place in an insane asylum.
Chad: Now, Nancy from the original movie, she's an intern therapist.
Chad: Now, the movie came out 18 months after part two.
Chad: It cost four million bucks to make and pulled in 44 million dollars.
Chad: Producers said, let it ride.
Chad: Let's get us a part four in the franchise.
Chad: And so we got Nightmare on Elm Street, The Dream Master, which hit theaters a year and a half after part three.
Chad: This movie was directed by Reddy Harlan, you know, the guy who would go on to direct Die Hard 2, Cliffhanger, Cutthroat Island, all movies featured on this very podcast.
Chad: This movie was mostly well reviewed.
Chad: It cost six million bucks and it made 50.
Chad: The producers said, hit me, we're making a part five.
Chad: Nightmare on Elm Street Five, The Dream Child, landed in theaters on December 20th, 1989, you know, for Christmas.
Chad: Five movies in six years, and as popular as they were, audiences were starting to grow less interested in the franchise.
Chad: The budget for part five, eight million bucks.
Chad: Box office hall, 22 million.
Chad: Throughout all of these movies, Robert England's performance of Freddy Krueger rocketed him to superstardom.
Chad: He was the biggest horror movie star since Vincent Price.
Chad: And starting with part two, Freddy Krueger, he started to workshop a little bit of his stand-up comedy routine, Crackin Wise with puns and wordplay, that would make the crypt keeper roll his eyes back into his skull.
Chad: By the time we got to the sixth installment, Freddy's Dead, The Final Nightmare, at this point in the franchise, Freddy Krueger was a wise crackin wise guy.
Chad: A personality characteristic that infected another horror icon of this era, the good guy doll turned bad guy doll, Chuckie.
Chad: But more on that in a few weeks.
Chad: With audiences showing reduced interest in the series, filmmakers said, that's it, Freddy Krueger is retiring, we are done, and we mean it.
Chad: This is part six, The Final Nightmare.
Chad: Put it in the vault, we are 100% committed, no more Freddy Krueger movies after this.
Chad: New Line cinemas went so far as to hold a mock funeral for Freddy Krueger at Hollywood Forever Cemetery, which was attended by shock rocker Alice Cooper, as well as much of the cast of the film.
Chad: Well, that sounds fun.
Chad: The mayor of Los Angeles declared September 13th to be Freddy Krueger Day.
Chad: The movie even included a cameo from stand-up comedian, sitcom star and national anthem crooner Roseanne Barr and her then-husband Tom Arnold.
Chad: Yeah, remember when they showed up in A Nightmare on Elm Street sequel?
Chad: The movie comes out and it had a good opening weekend, but it just tanked after that.
Chad: Critics noted that Freddy Krueger, the once terrifying dream reaper, was now just a goofy caricature.
Chad: He devolved from horrific phantasm into an annoyingly predictable boogeyman that was actually loved by children in the real world, and they would dress up like him at Halloween and crack their own jokes.
Chad: Freddy Krueger was done and done.
Chad: Until three years later when Wes Craven said, I got an idea.
Chad: Wes Craven's New Nightmare was a meta-slasher film written and directed by Craven.
Chad: The movie is a standalone film, and it's not directly associated with all of the other Nightmare on Elm Street movies.
Chad: It was to be more serious and less comical than all of the sequels, which is not too hard.
Chad: The movie was about actual actors in the film industry portraying themselves, including Heather Lenkincap, who, if you've been paying attention, played Nancy in the original and in part three of this movie franchise.
Chad: The movie had more to say than any of the other sequels, specifically to the effect of horror movies on those who create it and those who watch it.
Chad: Now, some people loved the movie, some people did not love the movie.
Chad: Total cost, eight million bucks.
Chad: Box office hall, 19.8 million bucks.
Chad: Yikes.
Chad: But you know what?
Chad: That's OK, because this movie was what set Wes Craven on a larger meta exploration of horror films in a little franchise called Scream.
Chad: And Wes Craven's Scream really led to the approach where filmmakers were working to understand how horror movies existed across multiple levels, from those that write the films, make the films, star in the films and watch the films.
Chad: And horror movies really became more self-aware, as if everybody was in on what was happening when it came to slasher movies and the tropes that they created.
Chad: Freddy Krueger would return almost a decade later in Freddy vs.
Chad: Jason in 2003, which did well enough, but not so well that more sequels were generated.
Chad: At the end of Freddy vs.
Chad: Jason, Jason Voorhees decapitates Freddy Krueger and holds up the severed head, which winks and laughs at the end.
Chad: See, we're all having a good time, people.
Chad: Now is it.
Chad: Freddy Krueger left the building, head in one bag, body in another.
Chad: Done and done.
Chad: But then seven years later, the folks over at Platinum Dunes were injecting revitalization juice into every horror movie franchise from the 80s and 90s.
Chad: A Nightmare on Elm Street was in their sights as an opportunity to reboot the franchise with a gritty, dark, new interpretation of this famous, frightening franchise.
Chad: Michael Bay and all of the artisans at Platinum Dunes Production Company decided that having a reboot of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Amityville Horror and Friday the 13th, it was time to do the same thing with A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Chad: Movie makers had two options when it came to the reboot.
Chad: One option would be to try to merge together multiple of the original movies into one movie like they did with Friday the 13th, or base this movie on the original film like they did with The Amityville Horror.
Chad: They opted for the latter as filmmakers acknowledged that Freddy Krueger was now a less scary horror movie monster with his incessant puns and sight gags.
Chad: They went back to Wes Craven's original source material for inspiration.
Chad: Somebody took a look at Craven's ideas for the series and said, Hey fellas, it says here that Freddy Krueger was supposed to be a child molester.
Chad: Let's put that in the movie.
Chad: And you know how Freddy Krueger was burned up by all them angry parents?
Chad: Can we make it look, you know, more like a real burned victim all melty and kind of hard to look at?
Chad: Everybody agreed these sound like great ideas.
Chad: So that's what they did.
Chad: To write the movie, they enlisted the talents of Leslie Stick, who wrote the screenplay for the 1991 remake of Cake Fear that starred Robert De Niro and Nick Nolte, among many others.
Chad: And that made sense as he had experience adapting a classic movie into a more intense modern-day interpretation.
Chad: His draft eventually made it to Eric Heiserer.
Chad: This was his first screenplay.
Chad: To make it to the big screen, he would eventually go on to write the prequel to The Thing, as well as that movie Bird Box starring Sandra Bullock that appeared over on Netflix.
Chad: Samuel Bayer was selected to direct the movie.
Chad: Bayer had a lengthy career in directing television commercials and music videos.
Chad: He was behind the camera for famous music videos including Nirvana's Smell Like Teen Spirit and Blind Melon's No Rain.
Chad: Michael Bay personally lobbied for Bayer to come behind the camera for the re-invention of Freddy Krueger for a new generation of moviegoers.
Chad: Bayer originally did not want to do the job, but he eventually said yes.
Chad: At the time of this recording, this is Bayer's one and only feature film.
Chad: Uh oh.
Chad: To play this new version of Freddy Krueger, filmmakers cast Jackie Earl Haley.
Chad: Haley began his acting career at a very young age, appearing in the first three Bad News Bears movies as Bad Boy Kelly.
Chad: He left acting and decided to direct television commercials for quite a while, and it was fellow acting bad boy Sean Penn who convinced Haley to return to acting, appearing alongside Penn in 2006 All the Kings Men.
Chad: Following that, Haley appeared in the movie Little Children, where he played, guess what, a child molester.
Chad: That's right.
Chad: It should be noted that Haley's performance was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor.
Chad: Garrett the Intern, did you see Little Children?
Chad: Yeah, that's the one where he cuts off his own dick at the end.
Chad: That was wild, huh?
Chad: Jackie R.
Chad: Haley appeared in the adaptation of the graphic novel Watchmen as Rorschach.
Chad: In that movie, his character murders people who murdered children.
Chad: Haley didn't want to go around getting typecast as a pedophile in movies.
Chad: He had to play somebody who killed somebody who killed kids.
Chad: After that, Haley landed a role in Scorsese's Shutter Island alongside Leonardo DiCaprio.
Chad: Then came the reimagining of A Nightmare on Elm Street and its key bad guy Freddy Krueger.
Chad: A role previously played by Robert England in eight, count them eight Nightmare on Elm Street movies.
Chad: England was originally supportive of Haley to strap on the glove and the striped sweater to reprise the role.
Chad: Wes Craven, however, was not consulted on the movie and expressed his displeasure of this fact.
Chad: The movie drew heavily from Craven's original film.
Chad: The lead female character was to be Nancy, as it was in the original.
Chad: Rooney Mara, who at the time had appeared in some TV shows, including Law and Order, SVU and ER, along with a few other independent films and some smaller studio movies.
Chad: The same year that A Nightmare on Elm Street hit theaters, Mara appeared in David Fincher's The Social Network and the following year she started the adaptation of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
Chad: Now, in this movie, Nancy's best buddy Quentin was played by Kyle Gaulner, an actor recognized by fans of Veronica Mars and Smallville.
Chad: Connie Britton, known by many from her role in the NB series Friday Night Lights, was cast to play Nancy's mom.
Chad: Clancy Brown, who played Frankenstein's monster in the sting-tastic movie The Bride, which we reviewed in season 2, he shows up as Quentin's dad.
Chad: A bunch of CGI was used in the making of this film, specifically when it came to creating the burn face of Freddy Krueger.
Chad: Haley did wear a prosthetic during the filming, but it was enhanced with computer technology to make him look more like an actual burn victim with open wounds and melting flesh all around his face.
Chad: And the same was true for many of the deaths in the film, where CGI replaced many of the practical effects that were in the original to simulate that surrealistic, dreamlike world of the victim's nightmares.
Chad: So how did the movie do?
Chad: Well, just as you'd expect.
Chad: Total cost?
Chad: 35 million.
Chad: It pulled in 117 million.
Chad: The movie made 1.6 million on its Thursday night openings, and it was number one at the box office when it opened, raking in 35 million bucks of that total haul of 117 million.
Chad: But then it dropped 72% the following week.
Chad: Why?
Chad: Well, critics and audiences genuinely disliked the movie, with some commenting on how it followed the template of the original, producing an uninspired, lifeless movie that felt like something ordered from a corporation just to make a buck.
Chad: Because, well, that's what it was.
Chad: Robert England, who as I mentioned, originally supported Jackie Earl Haley's casting of Freddy Krueger, he voiced his displeasure in the remake, citing the lack of empathetic characters and ineffective makeup when compared to his performances.
Chad: Jackie Earl Haley was supposed to make three Nightmare on Elm Street movies.
Chad: Rooney Morrow was supposed to come back for a sequel, but none of that happened and doesn't look like it's going to.
Chad: Recently, Robert England threw his support behind Kevin Bacon as a potential actor to take on the role of Freddy Krueger.
Chad: Hey, he played a child molester in The Woodsman.
Chad: He's perfect for the role.
Chad: Apparently, the rights of the franchise reverted back to Wes Craven's estate and they're looking at all options, including a new feature film or maybe even a TV series.
Chad: Possibly with Robert England reprising his role as Freddy Krueger.
Chad: Or maybe they'll make a direct sequel to the original or the first or second one like they did with those Halloween movies.
Chad: Or better still, maybe they won't make any sequels and just let this franchise rest in peace.
Chad: You know what?
Chad: Let's get Mr.
Chad: Bo Ransdell in here to discuss this disgusting reimagining remake from start to finish to see how it stacks up against the innovative original.
Chad: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, insomniacs and narcoleptics alike, join us as we explore the 2010 remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Chad: And welcome to Pick Six Movies.
Chad: I'm Chad Cooper, and I am joined by the man who haunts my dreams every night, Mr.
Chad: Bo Ransdell Bo.
Chad: How are you doing today?
Bo: I've got my finger knives all ready to carve this turkey up.
Bo: If I could, Chad, I gotta make a quick note to the audience, a little bit of housekeeping we gotta do up front.
Chad: Okay, go ahead, you do that, I'll be right back.
Bo: For those listening, Hornstick was very popular.
Bo: And I appreciate everyone who emailed, who reached out, who followed the URL, which it turns out, we left out a whole.biz.
Bo: Yes.
Bo: And they still found it.
Chad: Somebody posted it on TikTok or Snapchat or Updub, something like that.
Bo: And people found it, and I gotta say, we are now officially sold out of Hornstick.
Chad: We netted $118.11.
Chad: Now we sold 10,000 units, give or take.
Bo: Something stupid.
Bo: The gross on this is not great.
Chad: No.
Bo: The net was pretty good.
Chad: Our margins are shockingly low for Hornstick.
Bo: But, and I'll tell you why, it's because Hornstick's American made, and we gotta deal with unions.
Chad: They are.
Bo: It's why you can't build public rail in this country.
Chad: No, they're handcrafted.
Bo: Yeah, artisanal.
Chad: By American workers, and by American workers, I mean people in prisons.
Chad: But shockingly, they cost like to get them from the prison to the Pick Six Movie Studios.
Chad: It's like $2,018.
Chad: It seems a little high, but you know what I mean?
Chad: If you're gonna pay for quality, you're gonna get quality, people.
Bo: Yeah, I mean, no one is arguing the quality of Hornstick.
Chad: No.
Bo: But we appreciate all the interest.
Bo: And to answer the question that's on all of your minds right now, will there be a second run?
Bo: Absolutely not.
Bo: But thank you for your interest.
Bo: And thanks for making Hornstick, despite the low net, still the most successful thing that we've ever done on Pick Six Movies.
Chad: But let me ask you a question.
Chad: Were you a fan of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies?
Bo: I like two of them.
Chad: Which two?
Bo: I like one in three.
Bo: Frank Darabont wrote three.
Chad: I should know that, but I didn't.
Chad: I was never a fan of this series.
Chad: I associated it with the goofiness of all the sequels, which is unfair to the original, which I rewatched in preparation for this episode.
Chad: And as noted in the opening, it's a pretty solid movie.
Chad: It's got this great surrealistic dreamlike quality.
Chad: It's full of those practical effects.
Chad: It's got a low budget, but as noted, it works in its favor.
Chad: And it's very charming even as an 80s era period piece.
Bo: The first one, and I think you did a good job in the introduction kind of pointing out how the original came out of sort of a creative idea, creatively done, you know, it's a sort of necessity being the mother of an invention and not having a giant budget and having to do a lot of stuff really practically and really creatively.
Bo: And it made for a really interesting movie.
Bo: The original Nightmare on Elm Street's really good.
Bo: There has been a recent reappraisal of part two because of the thing you were talking about of it being one of the most homoerotic horror films.
Bo: And there's a pretty good documentary called Screen Queen, about that movie.
Bo: And particularly about the lead actor.
Chad: Who was the gay actor?
Bo: Yeah, absolutely.
Bo: And he kind of knew like he and Robert England talked about the subtext while they were making the movie.
Bo: And so the reappraisal isn't completely out of left field.
Bo: There really is some there there with Elm Street 2.
Bo: I still don't think it's a great movie.
Bo: I think it's a really interesting movie for it being such a gay horror film for that time.
Bo: That I think is interesting about it, but I don't know that it's terribly entertaining.
Bo: I do like one and three.
Bo: And I think two, if somebody came up to me and said, I really like Nightmare on Elm Street 2, I'm not gonna give him a hard time about it, especially because there's the great scene where that bird just explodes in the living room and that's one of the best scenes in any movie ever.
Chad: I just didn't care for the wisecracking Freddy Krueger.
Chad: It almost reminded me of Sean Connery's latter James Bond movies.
Chad: Because if you go back and you look at Dr.
Chad: No and From Russia with Love, the character of James Bond isn't really what you know James Bond to be in future films.
Chad: Like it took a couple of outings to get that character's mix of misogyny and bad jokes and indiscriminate murder of people quite right.
Chad: And that seems like what happened with the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, especially with the Freddy Krueger character.
Bo: For sure, by the time you get to Elm Street 4 and 5, it becomes so unserious.
Bo: Like the first movie is scary and it just stops being that.
Bo: And the third one is largely responsible for that change in the character because he is a little bit quipier in that one.
Bo: But I also don't think it's quite as over the top and it's not quite as broad.
Bo: I think three is, I both love it and I loathe it.
Bo: I love it because I think it's a really good popcorn horror movie.
Bo: And I really loathe the fact that it changed the arc of that character so that you ended up in, whichever it is, four or five with Super Freddy and him riding on the Wicked Witch's broom and stuff like that.
Bo: But the third one has stuff like the welcome to primetime bitch.
Bo: And the one I think is legitimately creepy is the girl that's recovering from drug addiction and his fingers turn into the needles.
Bo: You know, he like jams them into her arm and he's like, what a rush.
Bo: I think that actually works.
Bo: I think that's kind of eerie, but it gets ridiculous.
Bo: And again, there are plenty of horror fans that are like, I just love Nightmare on Elm Street.
Bo: I love all the Nightmare on Elm Street stuff.
Bo: Robert England is having a ball and all of that is true, but it's just not for me.
Chad: Three was where they started introducing all of kind of the novelty songs.
Chad: Cause Dawkin wrote a song called Dream Warriors.
Chad: And then in that fourth one, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince wrote that Nightmare on My Street.
Chad: Remember that thing?
Chad: That's right.
Chad: And the Fat Boys wrote a song for part four called, Are You Ready for Freddy?
Chad: And then the Goo Goo Dolls wrote one for New Nightmare.
Chad: It was during that time period where there was all of this synergy between movies and hit singles, mostly written by Kenny Loggins and what, Michael McDonald and Bryan Adams.
Chad: Let's get into this.
Chad: First off, tip of the hat to the filmmakers for having the decency to make this movie come in at a tight 90 minutes without credits.
Chad: And speaking of credits, it's practically got none at the upfront.
Bo: I have one nice thing to say about this movie.
Bo: That is not it.
Bo: But this movie lets you know upfront that it's gonna be a real piece of shit by having that Platinum Dunes logo front and center.
Chad: Well, before that, you do get an old school New Line Cinema logo.
Chad: That was kind of nice, right?
Bo: That's kind of a tease, though.
Bo: That's like to tell ya, hey, this might be good.
Bo: And then Platinum Dunes comes in to let you know like, oh no, no, no, this is gonna be just the most phoned in bullshit you ever saw.
Chad: It's such a squeezing money from this franchise.
Chad: It feels like something a corporation made to make money.
Bo: Yes, and it also has the larger problem of every decision made in order to get that money is the wrong one.
Chad: More violent, ramp it up, make it more intense.
Chad: This isn't your grandma's Nightmare on Elm Street.
Chad: We're gonna make this shit extreme.
Bo: The fact that they signed some of these actors to three movies up front Pfft.
Bo: lets you know that they weren't as aware as they should have been of how bad a movie they were making.
Chad: During these opening credits, they weave in some visuals to kind of sort of begin to tease the backstory of Freddy Krueger.
Chad: We get these quick shots of preschool kids playing hopscotch, sidewalk drawings, their kids on swings, their building blocks that are on fire.
Chad: The building blocks that is, not the kids on the swings.
Chad: That's a real Terminator exclusive.
Chad: The visuals do this thing where some of them are clean versions of the images, and then they get replaced by these distressed images.
Chad: And one of the blocks shows a little lamb on it, Bo, because the kids, they're like lambs.
Bo: My favorite of these like little edits is when you see the Badum Preschool, and then it edits so that you just see Bad School.
Bo: And I'm like, oh, I see what you're doing here.
Bo: Let me give you one other thing that really pisses me off at these credits, is that when they're giving you the names of the cast and crew, it's the name in actual credits, and then you see the children's scrawl backwards R kind of version of it.
Bo: Just do one or the other.
Bo: I don't need to see all these names twice.
Bo: I barely care once.
Chad: It makes me so happy to hear you hack on credits because credits are a waste of everybody's time.
Chad: And all of this opening feels very music video-esque because as noted earlier, the director of this movie, Samuel Bayer, had a lot of experience making music videos.
Bo: He made some very good music videos and he made one very bad movie.
Chad: And then he decided to stop directing films, fingers crossed.
Chad: So we cut to Springwood Diner, which has four neon signs in the window.
Chad: One of them says, open 24 hours.
Chad: There's another one says, hot coffee.
Chad: One of the signs says, take out.
Chad: And then the last one says, good food.
Bo: Somewhere between famous potatoes and live free or die the truth lies.
Chad: Hey, I'm ordering neon signs for the diner.
Chad: They save you by three, you get one free.
Chad: I got open 24 hours.
Bo: Oh, good, we're gonna need that.
Chad: And I got the hot coffee and I got one that says, take out, what do you think the fourth one should be?
Chad: Maybe like amazing food, too much?
Bo: Yeah, let's not oversell it.
Chad: How about edible food?
Chad: What do you think about maybe not bad food?
Bo: What is closer to not bad than amazing?
Chad: How about human food?
Chad: Yeah, they might think we eat people here.
Bo: Great food?
Chad: Yeah, I've tried it, it's not great.
Chad: Good food?
Bo: You know, it's not untrue.
Chad: Thanks a lot, Goldilocks.
Chad: So outside this diner, it's raining and we head inside and a clock shows that it's 4.35.
Chad: And Bo, I immediately questioned whether or not this was AM or PM, because in Ohio in the fall, sunset is pretty early in the day.
Chad: It can be around 4.45.
Chad: And my point here is that make it two o'clock in the morning.
Chad: Make it abundantly clear we're in the middle of the night.
Bo: Yeah, why not make it one?
Bo: Because then you know it's after midnight, it's really late, it's the witching hour, Chad.
Chad: And this diner has all the lights turned off inside.
Chad: How about you turn on some of these lamps above the tables, let people know you're open, other than those four shitty neon signs in the window.
Chad: And this beehive waitress walks past this guy named Dean, who's played by the guy who was Emmett Cullen in those Twilight movies, according to my wife.
Chad: And Dean asks the waitress with the beehive for more coffee, and she just walks right past him, ignoring him.
Chad: And it's here that you realize, Bo, this might be a dream.
Chad: Yeah.
Chad: Dean calls this waitress a bitch, and he gets up to go explore the diner.
Chad: That's a little extreme, if you ask me.
Chad: Dean goes into the kitchen, which is a mess.
Chad: There's dirty dishes piled up.
Chad: Food on the grill is on fire.
Chad: There are hogs heads all over the place.
Chad: Apparently the Platinum Dudes Probs Department just grabbed whatever was in storage from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and just littered it about this diner.
Bo: Then we see behind him the Freddy glove.
Chad: Oh shit.
Bo: A little snick-snicked.
Bo: Shwing.
Chad: Yeah.
Bo: And then he wakes up just as Freddy is slashing.
Bo: And then there is Nancy as played by one of the mirrors.
Bo: I think it's Rooney.
Bo: She clearly does not care about being in this movie.
Bo: Like I have seen her be good in films.
Chad: It was not in this.
Bo: No, she does not give a shit.
Bo: And I think in later interviews, both she and Kyle Gaulner have said that they were pretty much phoning it in for this movie.
Chad: That's being generous, man.
Chad: Her performance is so lackluster and disconnected.
Chad: The whole movie, she's just like, all right, whatever, what do you want?
Bo: Right.
Bo: Yeah, and even here she's like, oh wow, if you keep falling asleep at the table, they're gonna kick you out.
Chad: Tells this guy, Dean, that if he falls asleep in the restaurant, they're gonna throw him out.
Chad: And I'm like, yeah, of course they are.
Chad: Cause you look like a drug addict.
Chad: They don't want to go in the bathroom and see you laying on the floor with a needle in your arm.
Bo: But presumably Chad, he is trying to stay awake.
Bo: And what helps you stay awake better than eating a big ass steak, which is what he has done, which is like the sleeping pill of food.
Chad: It's not just a steak.
Chad: It's a sloppy steak.
Chad: Cause it is swimming in a good centimeter of red watery liquid.
Chad: And there's no sides.
Chad: It's just like the fat around the steak and a couple of bites he couldn't finish cause he got too full.
Chad: Who orders that?
Chad: A crazy person?
Chad: You don't go to a diner and just like, what can I get you?
Chad: Steak.
Bo: It's like he was trying to get his picture up on the wall where he ate all of the like 64 ounce or oh, I'm so tired.
Bo: No fucking wonder your body has spent all of its energy trying to digest this half a cow you just ate.
Chad: You want the t-shirt, you gotta eat the gristle.
Chad: That's the rules.
Chad: Also real quick, I just want to say this.
Chad: These Platinum Doom movies, they made these remakes of classic horror films and they cast everyone in the movie who's between the ages of like 25 and 32 to play 17 and 18 year olds.
Chad: You know, in those original movies with Johnny Depp and Heather Langenkamp, they were like 20, 21.
Chad: They could pass for 17, 18.
Chad: The actors in this movie look like they should be playing the parents of the actors that should have been cast in this movie.
Chad: They're way too old.
Bo: I kept expecting somebody to go up to Connie Britton and Rooney Mara and be like, you two look like sisters.
Bo: No, really.
Bo: You two look like you're exactly the same age.
Chad: Dean looks up from his food coma to Nancy and he's like, and then Nancy takes his plate.
Chad: It's full of like sloppy steak remnants.
Chad: And Dean looks around and he sees his hand and there's a gash where Freddy Krueger swiped at him in the dream world.
Chad: And it's a bad wound.
Chad: Like he seriously needs to go to an emergency room.
Chad: His hand is not gonna work properly ever again.
Bo: Yeah, it's bad.
Bo: So instead he does what anyone would in this situation, which is to put a filthy diner napkin on it.
Chad: And order another steak.
Bo: I'm gonna get it this time.
Bo: Give me a 64.
Chad: No, you're just gonna pour water all over it.
Bo: No, I'm not.
Bo: We're gonna get a sloppy steak and then we're going to the beach.
Chad: Enter the blonde haired Chris with a K as played by Katie Cassidy, who is slash was on the TV series Flash and Green Arrow playing Laurel Lance, Black Siren and Black Canary.
Chad: Do any of those words mean anything to you Bo?
Chad: Because it sounds like a witch's spell to me and I think I might have just put a curse on somebody.
Bo: Yeah, she started off as Laurel Lance on Arrow, then becomes the Black Canary.
Bo: I think her sister was Black Canary for a while and then got wounded and she took up the mantle.
Bo: I didn't stick around long enough to see the Black Siren stuff.
Chad: My TV doesn't get that channel.
Chad: Chris with a K says, Hey Nancy, I'm here to meet Dean.
Chad: He said he was headed to the diner and he was definitely not gonna order a sloppy steak.
Chad: And then Chris with a K, she heads over and she sees Dean and she sits down.
Chad: She's like, Oh my God, Dean, you look like you haven't even.
Chad: And Dean interrupts, slept in three days.
Chad: Yeah, cause I haven't.
Chad: First off, don't interrupt people.
Chad: I get you're sleepy and you have a cut on your hand that clearly demands stitches, but interrupting people is just rude.
Bo: Yeah, he's just cranky.
Bo: He needs a nap.
Chad: Chris with a K says, Oh my God, I love how we finish each other's sentences and you're so handsome and your stubble beard is so sexy.
Chad: Who does your eyebrows?
Chad: I bet it's Sheila down at the Lash Factory.
Chad: She doesn't mind.
Chad: Do you go to Sheila?
Chad: There's something in your comment.
Chad: You and me, Dean.
Bo: Oh, I think I saw a guy with knives.
Chad: We cut to a different table of 20 something males pretending to be teenage boys.
Chad: Among them is Quentin.
Chad: I've only known three people in my life named Quentin.
Chad: One of them is filmmaker Quentin Tarantino.
Chad: I don't know him personally.
Chad: There was Quentin Black who illustrated all of the Rawl Doll books.
Chad: And then there was this kid named Quentin in my sister's kindergarten class who peed on her during nap time.
Chad: And I cannot say if it was deliberate or an accident or both.
Bo: Knowing your sister, it doesn't really clear that up.
Bo: This is Kyle Gaulander playing Quentin, who, like you said, looks like he's about 47 years old.
Bo: His two pals are checking Nancy out because everyone enjoys the way fish waitress at this diner that serves good food, apparently.
Chad: At four o'clock in the morning?
Bo: Or p.m., whatever.
Bo: Then among them at Quentin's table is Jesse, who sees Chris with a K and Dean and gets all upset about it.
Chad: Bo, they just broke up.
Bo: They got a divorce and he lost the kids.
Bo: So he's a little testy.
Bo: And so he slaps down somebody.
Chad: He got the dog and it's a chihuahua that's 13 years old.
Chad: Right.
Bo: Well, I mean, they were only seven years into a 30 year mortgage.
Bo: And now what are they going to do with the house?
Chad: I pay for that car.
Chad: Who gets a dental assistant degree and doesn't become a dental assistant since Chris with a K?
Chad: I'm going back to high school.
Chad: So are you.
Chad: We're starting over.
Bo: We're going to do.
Chad: That's not how things work, Jesse.
Chad: That's how they work now.
Bo: They're going to apparently do a 13 going on 30 thing.
Chad: Did you see Billy Madison?
Chad: It's like that.
Chad: We're doing to do over Mulligan.
Chad: All right.
Bo: It's a reverse big.
Bo: They're going to get small.
Bo: After Jesse gets all pissed off about this and starts to store out, Quentin puts.
Chad: I'm leaving.
Bo: He puts down some more money.
Chad: He dropped a tin spot.
Chad: He's like, oh, here you go.
Chad: Hope this makes up for your trouble.
Chad: Sorry, we made such a mess.
SPEAKER_4: And Nancy's like, it's okay.
SPEAKER_4: It's what I do.
Chad: I weigh tables.
Chad: I bring people food and they make a mess and then I clean it up and they leave me a small amount of money for my service.
Bo: It's not the first sloppy steak I've served and it won't be the last.
Chad: Quentin and his boys, they leave, head off into the night to break, enter Vandal, Burgl, Larson or some combination.
Chad: Right.
Bo: And meanwhile, Dean is telling Chris with a K that he's been going through his childhood memories with his therapist.
Bo: And then all these nightmares started.
Chad: Dean, maybe you should talk to somebody who isn't me.
Bo: Well, that's what I was just telling you.
Bo: I've been talking to my therapist and he tells me that these dreams aren't real and I need to sleep.
Bo: But I know they are real, Chris, with the kid.
Bo: They are real.
Chad: He said, may all my problems come from my past.
Chad: I was like, damn, Bo, that sounds like a really good therapist.
Chad: Cause I kind of want to get that guy's number.
Chad: Sure.
Chad: Maybe he could help to unravel what's wrong with me.
Chad: Cause my therapist told me that all my troubles come from the not too distant future.
Chad: Next Sunday, AD.
Bo: La, la, la.
Bo: My therapist just tells me all my problems come from me.
Bo: She's really into reminding me that everyone else seems to be doing fine around me and that I'm the one causing problems.
Bo: There's a lot of this, baby.
Chad: Dean says, we started talking about my childhood.
Chad: And that's when the nightmare started.
Chad: And I can't sleep cause my dreams are real.
Chad: And then Dean spills a cup of coffee that goes into Crystal the K's lap.
Chad: And luckily she's still wearing a raincoat cause remember it's raining outside, no biggie.
Chad: So she gets up to go clean herself off and to get away from this handsome insomniac.
Chad: And once Crystal the K leaves, we get some creepy music.
Chad: Something's going on, Bo.
Chad: And Dean spins his sloppy steak knife on the table like he's playing a game of spin the bottle.
Chad: And then the lighting changes and you're like, oh shit, we're back in the dream world.
Chad: And Freddy Krueger shows up out of nowhere like a mugger on the city streets.
Chad: And Dean says, you're not real.
Chad: And Freddy Krueger says, I am now.
Bo: How about you come over here and cut your own throat for me?
Chad: That steak looked pretty sloppy to me.
Bo: But let's see if we can make you look a little more sloppy.
Chad: What do you say, champ?
Chad: And then we get a closeup of Freddy Krueger's face.
Chad: And I just wanna say, Freddy Krueger in this movie looks like this homemade cosplay gone wrong.
Chad: All the elements are there, but it's not quite right.
Chad: It looks like a Halloween mask of Freddy Krueger that you would buy at a flea market.
Chad: And when you check the tag, it was manufactured in Asia and the name of the cardboard tag on it informs you that the mask is knife hand killer.
Bo: Yeah, one of the big problems with it is, aside from it just looking kind of bland, is that it doesn't let Jackie Earl Haley enunciate very well.
Bo: Like that was one of the things that made the Robert England makeup so good is that he could express himself.
Bo: Like you could see his facial expressions when he scowled or grinned.
Chad: His eyes would kind of light up and dart around and he was having fun with it.
Chad: Maybe a little too fun in my opinion, but he was having fun.
Bo: You know, he could kind of sneer and like raise one lip in a sly smile.
Bo: And this is just so heavy that his mouth doesn't move that much.
Chad: He looks like Fano from Pan's Labyrinth, if he got a sunburn.
Bo: If he had like leprosy.
Bo: I will say the one thing I like about this movie is I think Jackie Earl Haley is trying to give a performance.
Bo: I don't think the makeup is doing him any favors, but I think he's trying.
Bo: It is the one thing about this movie that I kind of like is that he, I think is pretty menacing in this, but also it's completely hamstrung by bad makeup and the CGI and all that stuff.
Bo: But to your point, you know, he makes this guy cut his own throat and Chris with a K sees this happening, screams, and then we get a late title card, A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Chad: You know, that late title card shit, that works in James Bond movies, because it's expected.
Chad: And the only other movie I've ever seen in my entire life where it worked was Raising Arizona.
Bo: I've just got to say that, the 20 minute title card, yeah.
Chad: But in this film, it's not needed.
Chad: No one watching this movie was thinking, wait, what movie is this?
SPEAKER_4: Oh, it's Nightmare on Elm Street, great.
Bo: Hey, wait a second, what is this movie?
Bo: I thought it was going to see A Nightmare on Elm Street, all of a sudden there's a guy with knives for fingers?
Bo: What is going on?
Chad: You know what's worse than the late title card is when a movie doesn't have a title card at all and they just kind of punch you in the face at the very end by throwing the title card up before the credits.
Chad: The only time that that really worked was in The Lying, which has done really well because it's punctuated with the music.
Chad: But like all of these other movies that don't have a title card and tack it on, it's like, who is this for?
Chad: People that suffered a brain injury while watching your film?
Chad: Like, I have no short-term recall.
Chad: What movie did I just watch?
Bo: Oh, great.
Bo: Didn't Avatar do that?
Chad: Did they do an end of movie title card?
Chad: Sure.
Chad: We can talk about Avatar a little later, but we never will.
Bo: Yeah, that movie's way too long.
Chad: It's way too long and it's way too bad.
Bo: After the late title card, we go to a funeral.
Chad: Graveside.
Chad: Dean's being buried, Bo.
Chad: You see who got front row seat?
SPEAKER_4: Crystal the K.
Bo: This is one of the, again, bad decisions of this movie.
Bo: Of why are all these kids here again?
Bo: So Chris with a K is there.
Bo: Jesse, who was the rival, is there.
Chad: Cause he broke up with Chris with a K.
Chad: Quentin's there.
Chad: Well, because Nancy's there.
Chad: And that judge hasn't signed off on the restraining order against Quentin yet.
Bo: But why is Nancy, like, I don't know their relationship.
Bo: And the movie plays coy with what their relationship is.
Bo: So that late in the movie, you kind of understand why they all know each other.
Bo: But there's no real reason.
Bo: It's not like they hang out based on what we understand.
SPEAKER_4: Anyhow, it's so stupid.
Bo: So Chris with a K sees a little girl in a dress hanging out by the grave side.
Bo: She's like, hey, is anyone gonna get that little girl away from the open grave?
Bo: Oh, why does she have slashes across her chest?
Chad: Hey, and she's throwing flowers in the grave?
Chad: She's doing it wrong.
Chad: You don't throw the flowers in first, the casket, then flowers, then someone pours one out for their homie in remembrance.
Bo: Also, you're wearing pink and that is totally wrong for a funeral.
Bo: I'm wearing slut black.
Chad: Then Crystal with a K looks around and she's like, oh my God, did the music in this movie just get creepy?
Chad: Uh-oh, I think I'm asleep.
Chad: Wait a minute, that little blonde girl, she's in trouble.
Chad: And then Freddy Krueger's hand, the one without the knives, pops up and grabs a little girl's leg, boom!
Chad: Bo, we're snapped back to reality.
Chad: Crystal with a K wakes up.
Chad: How embarrassing you must feel if you fell asleep at a funeral while sitting on the front row for a guy who died where everyone there assumes committed a gruesome act of suicide when he slit his own throat with a sloppy steak knife at a local diner that was right in front of you.
Chad: Come on, Crystal with a K, wake up!
Bo: If someone cuts their throat in front of you, you are the reason they're doing it.
Chad: Oh yeah.
Bo: The fact that Crystal with a K is even allowed in the front row seems like the parents are falling down on the job.
Chad: Nancy and Nancy's mom walk over and they meet up with Quentin and Quentin's dad as played by the adorably creepy Clancy Brown.
Chad: Welcome back to the podcast, Mr.
Chad: Clancy Brown.
Chad: Please don't hurt me.
Chad: The majority of Clancy Brown's career was doing voiceover work for animated series.
Chad: Most notably is the voice of Mr.
Chad: Krabs on SpongeBob SquarePants.
Chad: And Quentin's dad, AKA Clancy Brown, he says, Nancy, if you need anything, we're setting up a crisis center at the school.
Chad: You know where my office is.
Chad: And I was like, wait, Quentin's dad works at the school?
Chad: Is it a college?
Chad: Are they in high school?
Bo: Is he a guidance counselor?
Bo: Did he fail to the middle?
Chad: We cut to Chris with a K, looking at photos that are framed around the grave site.
Chad: And they're all pictures of Dean at various stages of his life, like from a young kid to like his early thirties.
Chad: She goes over to one of the photos and you see Dean as a child.
Chad: And in the background is a Photoshopped image of the little blonde hair girl who was chunking flowers in the grave and got grabbed by the leg by Freddy Krueger.
Chad: And Chris with a K, she's looking and she's like, oh my God, is that me in this photo with Dean when he was a boy?
Chad: How did I get Photoshopped in this picture with Dean?
Chad: And then Jesse, the ex-boyfriend Bo, is gonna get good.
Chad: He comes over and he says, I didn't even know that you knew Dean when you were little.
Chad: My God, you smell so good.
Chad: Take me back.
Bo: She's like, oh my God, it's right here at funeral.
Bo: This is not the time or the place.
Bo: But also, Dean kept repeating to somebody, you're not real.
Bo: Do you think he was talking to me?
Bo: Cause I'm real.
Bo: I'm as real as it gets.
Bo: I'm from the streets.
Chad: Also, I'm in this picture of him and I'm a kid, but we didn't meet each other till we went to like high school.
Chad: This seems really weird.
Chad: Maybe we knew each other when we were kids, but that's not possible.
Chad: But there's a picture of us when kids, I'm confused.
Bo: Is it possible that was during a ketamine breakout?
Bo: Was I in a K-hole?
Bo: Cause I did a lot of drugs in preschool.
Chad: Jesse, our ex-boyfriend says, I don't know, Dean was on a lot of meds.
Chad: I heard it made his wiener not work anymore.
Chad: Not like my wiener, which works perfectly, Chris with a K, I can show if we get back together.
Chad: And Chris with a K says, as if, listen, when he butchered his throat in front of me, it was like somebody else was making him do it, but nobody was there.
Chad: Do you believe me, Jesse?
Chad: And then Nancy walks over and says, I believe you.
Bo: Yeah, and then Nancy's mom, played by Connie Britton, rolls up and it's just like, come on, Nancy, let me take you home.
Bo: And she's like, fine, whatever, I don't care.
Chad: Jesse, the ex-boyfriend says to Nancy, you weren't even there at the diner.
Chad: I mean, well, you probably were cause you worked there, but you weren't there.
Chad: You don't know what's going on.
Chad: Chris with a K is grieving.
Chad: Shut up, this is my moment.
Chad: Trying to get back in our panties.
Chad: Nancy says, you have no idea what I've seen.
Chad: I'm leaving with my mom.
Chad: And then we cut to Nancy in her bedroom, listening to her jams.
Chad: She's sipping on water from a glass that doesn't have any icing, which is important.
Chad: And then her eyes get real sleepy Bo.
Chad: And oh, she does this.
Chad: And we cut over to the glass of water, which has no ice, but has condensation on the outside of it.
Chad: I was like, well, unless you're in the rainforest, I don't think this is possible.
Chad: And also Bo, the condensation on the glass, it goes up and not down.
Chad: Things are out of whack here Bo, we're in the dream world.
Bo: Then we get a bigger and shittier CGI version of the Freddy coming out of the wallpaper thing from the original movie, which in the original is really creepy and eerie.
Bo: And in this one, it looks terrible.
Chad: It looks like House on Haunted Hill.
Bo: I was going to say it looks like The Frighteners, a lot of the effects from that, but The Frighteners at least was cartoonish and silly.
Bo: So you could kind of get behind it.
Chad: This looks awful.
Chad: And it's one of those things like, oh, we'll just use CGI.
Chad: You could have seriously spent like 150 bucks and accomplish the same effect from the original movie.
Chad: And it looks so much better.
Bo: The original was done for, what, a 20th of the cost?
Chad: Like $18.26.
Chad: Everything else was craft services.
Chad: They ate well on the set.
Bo: Like it was just spandex and it totally works.
Bo: It's really effective.
Bo: And they spent so much time, like people were animating this and all that.
Bo: And the end result is just garbage.
Bo: And it makes you feel bad for the people who worked on that.
Chad: Nancy wakes up with a startle.
Chad: And the glass of water, which has no ice in it, now has condensation running down thanks to gravity, but there's still no ice.
SPEAKER_4: So, hey, science, suck it.
Chad: We cut to downstairs over at Chris with a K's house, where we see the family dog sleeping on the dining room floor.
Chad: And considering this is a Platinum Dunes movie and their track record of killing dogs, I was like, uh-oh, this is not gonna end well for this bitch.
Bo: Chris with a K is going through these photo albums and like ask your mom, like, oh my God, look how fat I was as a kid.
Chad: I'm so skinny now.
Bo: Why didn't you give me more speed when I was a kid?
Bo: I was a little porker.
Bo: By the way, where are these from?
Bo: Is this when I was a preschooler?
Chad: Mom, where are all the pictures of me when I was super young and skinny?
Chad: When I was at Dean's funeral, there was a picture of me when I was five, but I didn't even deent till we were in high school.
Chad: And Chris with a K's mom says, maybe they're up in the garage in the attic.
Chad: Who knows?
Chad: Not me, plus nobody remembers anything when they were five.
Chad: That's just a science fact.
Chad: Let's have dinner.
Chad: I made Tylenol PM for dinner.
Chad: It's your favorite.
Bo: That is my absolute favorite line.
Bo: I think of this whole movie as, who can remember when they were five?
Chad: Cut to that night.
Chad: And Chris with a K is in her bedroom.
Chad: By the way, none of these teenager bedrooms are decorated like a teenager's bedroom.
Chad: They all look like this generic Airbnb rental.
Chad: And Chris with a K, she goes downstairs and heads to the garage and she pulls down a ladder from the storage area up above the garage to look for these missing photos.
Chad: And Chris with a K by the way, always looks put together.
Chad: She looks like she's on her way to a photo shoot or to anchor the four o'clock news over at Fox News.
Chad: And she goes up in this attic space, which was clearly organized by someone with OCD.
Chad: I've never seen such a clean attic.
Chad: And Chris with a K, she turns on the lights and she finds a box marked 1995.
Chad: Chris, preschool.
Chad: And there's another box that says 1996.
Chad: Chris, first grade, 1997.
Chad: Chris, second grade.
Chad: And then I realized Chris with a K's mom is a crazy person.
Chad: Like, what's her spice rack look like, alphabetized?
Chad: Like all her clothes in her closet are hung up by color hue left to right, then layered based on manufactured country of origin.
Chad: No wire hangers!
Bo: As she's going through this, she also finds this doll that's got a torn dress and then the lights flicker a little bit and we get a flash of Freddie's face and he's just immediately on top of her saying, hey, you remember me or, I heard what your mom said about remembering stuff when you were five, but I was there.
Bo: Just what, I mean, me.
Bo: You remember me?
Bo: I was there.
Bo: And then she wakes up in bed screaming, ah, oh my God.
Bo: I think I was with a homeless person.
Chad: Meanwhile, cut to high school, Bo, which is the first time in this movie that we are informed that these people are in, who are clearly in their late twenties are in high school.
Bo: Yeah, and so Quentin is just hanging out stalking Nancy a little bit and sees this sketch that she's putting in her locker of the horrible man from her dreams.
Chad: Oh, what's that?
Chad: Is it art or something?
Chad: You're a real good artist.
Chad: You're so pretty.
Chad: If you want to talk to somebody about that guy who killed himself in the diner, you can talk to me or something if you want to.
Bo: Maybe whatever, I don't know.
Bo: And then you see Clancy Brown in the background, towering over all of these other adults and middle age people in the hallway.
Chad: He looks like Gandalf, you know, over a bunch of hobbits.
Bo: I was gonna say like Dreyfus at the end of Close Encounters as all those little aliens are reaching up to touch his arms and whatnot, but.
Chad: And he barks out, he's like, Quentin, get to class!
Bo: Quentin squirt around with that boring girl.
Chad: We cut to a class where we see this boring teacher teaching about chlorophyll, more like Borophyll.
Chad: And there's all these young adults in the classroom trying to get their GED or something.
Chad: And then Chris with a K, she's among them.
Chad: And she's looking through a textbook, which is full of pictures, cause nobody knows how to read in this school.
Chad: And she comes across an image of a bloody glove with knives for fingers.
Chad: And then Bo, uh-oh, everything goes into slow motion, except for Chris with a K who says, Oh my God, I need to wake up.
Chad: Wake up, Chris with a K.
Chad: And then the entire world around her shatters.
Chad: And it turns into the same room, but everything is all burned in this apocalyptic style of nightmare.
Chad: And it's all done with CGI.
Chad: And it is immediately forgettable.
Bo: Yeah, and then she looks to the front of the room where our Freddy Krueger is at the chalkboard.
Chad: Yeah, Christ, you shouldn't fall asleep in class, Chris with a K.
Bo: And then she's like, ah, and then runs off.
Bo: And he chases after her.
Bo: He's like, hey, where you going?
Bo: You look as beautiful as ever when you're a little girl.
Bo: I know that probably sounds like a creepy thing to say, but hey, I stand by it.
Bo: You're quite fetching then and now.
Bo: Then she just like, ah, and wakes up screaming again in this classroom.
Bo: Only she finds it lying in her textbook.
Chad: Picture book.
Bo: Yeah, her picture book, my first book of history, a lock of her hair cut off late in the middle of it.
Bo: As soon as the bell rings, which it does right after this, she just closes the book and holds ass out of class and arrives home immediately thereafter.
Bo: Either that was the last class of the day or she decided to do a little bit of ditching.
Chad: When she arrives home, Bo, where does she live?
Bo: What, Elm Street?
Bo: Is that right?
SPEAKER_4: It's the only time in the movie that Elm Street is even mentioned.
Chad: She drives by and he's just like, huh, okay, whatever.
Chad: I was like, so does everyone in this movie live on Elm Street?
Chad: Of course they don't.
Chad: It has nothing to do with that whatsoever.
Chad: Yeah.
Chad: In the first movie, Nancy and Glenn, Johnny Depp's character, they both live on Elm Street.
Bo: Well, cause Glenn lives, yeah, across the street.
Chad: In this one, it just doesn't matter.
Bo: We skip over the best character of the movie, which is her dog Rufus, where she's like, oh my God, Rufus, get inside.
Bo: So she sneaks up to the attic again, and then her mom interrupts her to say like, hey baby doll, I'm gonna be on the red-eye to London leaving you, an underage teenager alone in the house for a while.
Chad: Who just saw someone slit their own throat in a local diner and also embarrassingly fell asleep at the funeral.
Bo: But you're cool, right?
Bo: Just like, oh yeah, I'm totally fine.
Bo: By the way, you're not gonna take those pills in the cabinet, are you?
Bo: Oh no, no, no, of course not.
Bo: Okay, then I'm gonna be totally fine.
Chad: Also keys to the liquor cabinet, they're in the lock of the liquor cabinet.
Chad: Just turn it to the right, pop it open.
Chad: I filled it with your favorite vodka, vanilla vodka, raspberry vodka, chocolate vodka, vodka vodka, potato vodka and just regular vodka and vodka light.
Chad: I know you're trying to watch your figure.
Chad: You don't want to become a big fatso like you were when you were four.
Bo: Also, if the key somehow slips out of the lock and falls under the cabinet and you can't reach it, you can just fonzie it open by hitting it with your elbow and that front door will just pop open.
Chad: And if that doesn't work, there's a loaded gun on the top of the liquor cabinet.
Chad: Just shoot it.
Bo: Just shoot at it until it comes over.
Bo: Anyway, so that night, Chris with a K is reading Dean's obituary.
Chad: With a photo of this guy from like 15 years earlier.
Chad: It looks like Dean's kid.
Bo: Oh my God.
Bo: Can you believe I dated this piece of ass?
Bo: He looks great in this picture.
Bo: She is startled when Jesse shows up out of nowhere.
Chad: He climbs through the window of her house.
Bo: He kind of pulls a Glen from the original movie.
Bo: Anyway, he's like, hey, look, I know I've been a little bit of an asshole.
Bo: That was fucked up.
Chad: You know what?
Chad: Dean was my best friend.
Chad: Not really, but whatever.
Bo: What's going on?
Chad: Yeah.
Bo: That's really what he says.
Bo: He's like, yo, he's my friend too, kind of.
Bo: Hey, I just want to know what's going on.
Bo: What's going on in this movie?
Chad: Oh my God.
Chad: I've been having dreams.
Chad: And Dean told me he was having them too, like nightmares, not good dreams, but scary dreams.
Chad: And I live on Elm Street, in case you missed it earlier.
Chad: And oh, I'm so scared, Jesse.
Chad: And then Jesse's like, when I get scared, I like to relax by taking off my shirt and my pants.
Chad: Maybe we should relax together, you and me, babe, right?
Chad: Come on.
Chad: As if.
Chad: Every time I dream, I see this weird man.
Chad: He's burned and melted like a grilled cheese, but not a good one, like a burnt one.
Chad: And he's trying to attack me with these knives on his fingers, babe.
Chad: I had the same dream too.
Chad: And his voice is all scratchy and he smells like microwave chili lime pork rind.
Chad: He's got his shoes on the wrong feet and he's got this hat that he thinks looks cool, but nobody has the courage to tell him he looks like a jackass.
Chad: I had the same dream, babe.
Bo: Oh my God, we're having the same dream.
Bo: How about you stay here with me?
Bo: Sounds like my way in.
Bo: And so they're asleep later in bed.
Bo: Chris with a K wakes up to the sound of the best character in the movie, Rufus the dog barking.
Bo: And so she goes outside to get Rufus, then of course finds the dog dead and split open.
Chad: It's a Platinum Dooms production, Bo.
Chad: If there's a dog in the movie, you gotta kill it.
Chad: That's a Platinum Dooms signature move.
Chad: If you go to Platinum Dooms headquarters, there's this big mural on the wall with all of the Platinum Dooms commandments on it.
Chad: Number one, no original thoughts.
Chad: Number two, always kill the dog.
Chad: Number three, it's Michael Bay's way or the highway.
Chad: Number four, break all the rules.
Chad: Number five, ignore rule number four.
Chad: Number six, 27 is the new 17.
Chad: Number seven is it doesn't have to make sense, it just has to make money.
Chad: And number eight is no fat chicks.
Bo: Wow, that number eight's a real killer.
Bo: She, you know, gasps when she sees this dead dog split open, clearly by knife fingers, by the way.
Bo: And out comes Freddy and he's like, oh look, I'm real sorry about that dog.
Bo: I was just patting him and I didn't take off the glove first.
Bo: That's a real egg on my face, but whoopsie.
Bo: Sorry about that.
Bo: Hey, I'll get you another dog.
Bo: Do you have a favorite breed or is he looking for something bigger, maybe a smaller one, something like one of them toy poodles, keep in your purse or something?
Bo: I'll use my other hand, I promise.
Bo: I won't show up with just a pile of runny dog.
Chad: Yeah, that's what you got there.
Chad: Also, it's not gonna be a purebred because I'm gonna go to the pound.
Chad: After hours, of course, break in, just grab something.
Bo: It's gotta be a shelter dog.
Bo: I'll tell you what, I get them when they're dreaming of chasing rabbits and I just slip into their dreams and I grab them.
Chad: Yeah, you ever seen a dog sleep?
Chad: God damn, it's adorable.
Chad: They're just laying there on their side, kicking their legs like, HURH, HURH, and you're like, what's that dog dreaming about?
Chad: You should think about that.
Chad: But I know, because I'm there with them and it's usually just them barking at other dogs.
Bo: Sometimes it's rabbits or squirrels or, hey, hey, look, I'm sorry, I'm way off topic here.
Bo: I gotta terrorize you for a little bit.
Bo: And so she ends up being grabbed by this little girl and sees kids jumping rope and they're singing the Freddie song.
Bo: Then Freddie is like, hey, before I do my slicing up, I like to get in the mood, play a little game here.
Bo: So I'll tell you what, let's play hide and seek.
Bo: Ready or not, here I come.
Bo: And then she wakes up.
Chad: And she's all covered in sweat.
Bo: Yeah, and Jesse doesn't wake up.
Chad: He's a heavy sleeper, especially after he has an orgasm.
Bo: Right, if only she'd been part of it, but it was just him jerking off.
Chad: So Chris with a K goes into the bathroom.
Chad: She splashes a little water on her face.
Chad: She heads back to bed.
Chad: Jesse is still snoozing.
Chad: She sits on the bed and then she lies down.
Chad: And then Freddie Krueger pops up beside her and he says, hey, I found you.
Chad: And then Chris with a K is asleep.
Chad: And we get this extreme wha wha wha wha version of the girl being mysteriously launched around the bedroom, like up above the bed, over to the wall, onto the ceiling.
Chad: And Freddie Krueger is just bouncing around like a racquetball.
Chad: It's way too much for this movie.
Chad: It's so over the top.
Chad: And it ultimately ends with Chris with a K getting four lacerations across her chest from her neck to her waist.
Chad: RIP Chris with a K.
Bo: That's right.
Bo: So Jesse, now covered in the blood of Chris with a K, rushes over, is like, uh, I don't-
Bo: Oh my God, are you on your period?
Bo: Oh whoa, you're dead.
Bo: I don't think I can do anything here.
Bo: So he just bails.
Chad: As you do.
Bo: Right, sets off the alarm for the house, by the way.
Bo: And then you hear, as he's running through the brush, somebody from another house go, I'm calling the cops.
Chad: They got a good neighborhood watch.
Chad: You know what my neighborhood watch is?
Chad: We watch people do shit.
Chad: Look at that, they got fucking robbed, man.
Bo: I think he's got a friend.
Bo: They're getting all of their shit.
Bo: That's good.
Bo: Look at that TV.
Bo: That's nice.
Bo: I should get one of those.
Bo: I wonder if I could just pay that guy 300 bucks and get that TV.
Chad: Hey, hey, I'll give you 200 bucks for that TV.
Chad: Oh shit, they're coming over.
Bo: But you got to mount it.
Chad: Oh, now they're leaving.
Chad: We could have had a good TV.
Bo: That's my fault.
Bo: They're not Best Buy.
Bo: I should have known better.
Chad: You don't hit on 20.
Bo: So Nancy, meanwhile, is sketching in her book of depression.
Bo: And her mom comes in as like, look at these pictures.
SPEAKER_4: I'm just trying to express my emotions.
Bo: Her mom comes in to be like, Nancy, you need to go to bed.
Bo: All right, mom, I'll go to bed.
Bo: I don't know what the difference between wake and sleep is.
Bo: Just seems to all be the same.
Bo: All right, honey, whatever.
Bo: I got to get her to a therapist.
Bo: And Jesse shows up covered in blood is like, Nancy, you are not going to believe what happened.
Chad: First off, I didn't kill Chris with a K.
Chad: Second off, yes, this is her blood.
Chad: Third off, it's not all of her blood, just most of it, and it's all over me.
Chad: Funny story.
Chad: You're gonna get a real kick out of this.
Bo: So he starts telling her about the guy with the knives and then Nancy goes, one, two, Freddy's coming for you.
Bo: And he's like, yeah, that's a song.
Bo: Are you asleep right now?
Chad: This all just makes sense to me.
Chad: I completely understand.
Chad: It's totally believable.
Chad: And Bo, then there's a knock at the door and it's Nancy's mom.
Chad: It's been like two minutes and her mom can't get in the room for some reason.
Chad: She just opened the door, but now it's locked.
Chad: I don't know, however.
Chad: Jesse's like, I gotta go.
Chad: So he escapes out the window, which I was like, oh, I guess that's how he got in the first place.
Chad: And there's like 20 cops down on the ground and Jesse's screaming as he runs, hey, I didn't kill Chris with a K, I loved her.
Chad: Yeah, it was in her bedroom when she died and there was nobody else there, but it wasn't me.
Chad: Yeah, I cranked it with a pair of her dirty panties.
Chad: You gotta believe me, why would I lie?
Chad: Just to stand in jail for the rest of my life?
Chad: That's ridiculous, I didn't do it, I'm innocent, but these are her panties and that's my semen.
Bo: And also like over his shoulder, he kind of throws the premise of the movie where he's like, by the way, don't fall asleep because if you die in your dreams, you die for real.
Bo: That's the whole thing that's going on, bye.
Bo: And he gets out of her window, takes about three steps and then the cops surround him.
Chad: They gave him the smack down.
Bo: And he does what any good lawyer will tell you to do in this situation, Chad, which is to yell over and over, I didn't kill her.
Chad: So let me ask you this, Mr.
Chad: Jesse, did you tell the arresting officers that you didn't kill her over and over again?
Bo: It all depends on what your definition of over and over again is.
Chad: If you say it at least three times, usually they just let you go.
Chad: Did you say it three times?
Chad: Just twice, this is important.
Chad: Cause if you said it three times, I can probably get you out in the next 15 minutes.
Chad: I think I just said it twice.
Chad: Ah, you're fucked.
Chad: You're gonna burn for this one, Jesse.
Chad: You gotta say it three times.
Bo: Yeah, so he's immediately taken to jail and locked up.
Chad: In an orange jumpsuit, they throw him in this cell.
Chad: The cellmate he's in with hops off the top bunk and I was like, man, I saw HBO's Oz.
Chad: I know how this is gonna end for 27, 17 year old Jesse.
Bo: Oh yeah, he's gonna be hanging on to somebody's turned out pocket in no time.
Chad: We come back to Nancy's house and she calls up Quentin and Nancy says, hey, you said if I needed to talk, I wanna let you know Chris with a K is dead.
Bo: Is this a dial tone?
Bo: Who is this?
SPEAKER_4: That's me, Nancy.
Chad: Remember, you stalked me at the diner.
SPEAKER_4: The moment that guy cut his throat across his throat.
Bo: Is it, hello?
SPEAKER_4: Click.
Chad: Must've been a wrong number.
Bo: I think I was just called by the phone company.
Chad: So we go back to the jail cell and Jesse's there and he's trying to stay awake and his cellmate is telling Jesse to just shut the fuck up, but he won't.
Chad: So then suddenly it's the next morning and Quentin is meeting Nancy at the local bookstore and coffee shop.
Chad: And he's doing an internet search on a site called Gigablast, a search engine name so ridiculous that it's got to be real and Bo, it is.
Bo: That's shocking to me.
Bo: I would have sworn, Chad, that this was made up.
Chad: See, you know what, listener?
Chad: We do the work so you don't have to.
Bo: That's really directed at me.
Bo: I understand that.
Bo: But yeah, so Quentin falls asleep while he's doing his research.
Bo: And when he wakes up in the bookstore, he sees this little preschool girl wandering among the stacks.
Bo: And so he just follows her to this table where there are a bunch of kids assembled seated around it and Freddie is sitting down with him.
Bo: Then Nancy wakes him up with her shocking, hey, I was just wondering if you were away.
Bo: And hey, what did you say, was it Freddie that scared you?
Bo: And he's like, am I still asleep?
Bo: Well, why would you say that?
Bo: You're wide awake.
Chad: Then the movie cuts back to the jail.
Chad: Jesse has apparently stayed up all night and an officer comes to the door and says, get up, you folks just posted your mail.
Chad: Ha cha cha cha cha.
Chad: And then Jesse walks out of the jail and he turns around as he's going down the hallway and the whole place turns into a boiler room.
Chad: So you're like, uh oh, Jesse's asleep.
Chad: And this is something that this movie does repeatedly, just shift from the real world to the dream world with these head fakes.
Chad: It's like a jerk at work who constantly says slightly unbelievable dumb shit and it's followed with a, huh, just kidding.
Chad: Like, hey, did your mic got fired?
SPEAKER_4: What?
SPEAKER_4: Huh, just kidding.
Chad: Hey, they said we're gonna get a half day on Friday.
Chad: Really?
Chad: Huh, just kidding.
Chad: Janet HR said, I'm gonna get fired for hiding that camera in the bathroom.
Chad: Well, as well you should.
Chad: Just kidding.
Chad: Nobody found it yet.
Chad: Ain't I a stinker?
Bo: Also, why in the world are we seeing a boiler room?
Bo: Because there is not one in this movie.
Bo: Other than in these dream sequences, but it has no relation to Freddy Krueger.
Chad: Well, because that was in the first movie.
Bo: Oh, okay.
Bo: It doesn't have to make sense if it's a reference.
Bo: Got it.
Chad: That's rule number seven.
Chad: It doesn't have to make sense.
Chad: It just has to make money, Bo.
Bo: So Jesse hears Chris with a K asking for help somewhere in this boiler room.
Bo: And so he just wanders around until Freddy finally finds him and starts stalking him through this place.
Bo: Jesse comes across a bunch of bodies hung upside down and kind of burned up.
Chad: Once Chris with a K, because he's like, Chris, is that you?
Chad: And who's that?
Chad: Oh, some other dickhead.
Chad: You're like, oh, it's Dean.
Chad: Yeah.
Bo: And Freddy kind of sneaks up behind him and Jesse turns around, he's like, oh God.
Bo: And he's like, no God, just me.
Bo: Oh, hey, I didn't mean to disparage any religion in particular or anything.
Bo: It's just, you know, this is my dream world and I don't want anyone else to get credit for it.
Bo: I mean, I do a lot of work on this place.
Bo: Jesse is like, what can I do to get out of this?
Bo: And Freddy says, I don't know.
Bo: Can you turn back time, like share?
Bo: Can you bring the dead back to life?
Bo: And Jesse just kind of screams and covers his face.
Bo: And then we get the best line, I think, of the whole movie outside of the, who knows what happens when you're five, but like legitimately a good creepy line for Freddy Krueger to say, which is, why are you screaming?
Bo: I haven't even started cutting you yet.
Bo: And you're like, oh, okay, well, that's pretty scary.
Bo: And then Freddy disappears and Jesse's like, huh?
Bo: Did my simpering like a child disgust him so much that he left?
Bo: And then Freddy's knives just shoved through his gut, which results in him collapsing in a bloody heap in the real world.
Bo: And the cellmate then pulls what I like to call a Jesse by saying, I didn't kill this guy.
Chad: Well, they got the same lawyer.
Chad: He's screaming it three times because he's not gonna take the fall for this.
Bo: Another pretty creepy moment from Freddy here, which is you cut back to the dream world and Freddy says, uh, I like trivia.
Bo: And I don't know if you knew this, Jesse, but the brain functions for seven minutes after you die, which means we've got six more minutes to play.
Chad: Jesse's just like, ah.
Bo: Oh, that's a waste of time.
Bo: Oh, also I gotta make an egg.
Bo: So hold on, I'm gonna start the egg.
Bo: Then I'm gonna finish torturing you.
Bo: And by the time you're dead, that egg will be ready.
Chad: You know, you talked about Jackie Earl Haley's performance as Freddy Krueger and maybe the limitations of the makeup or the prosthetics, but like his old performance was tough for me to wrap my head around because in the original, like the very first movie, Freddy Krueger is not a very charismatic character.
Chad: He's more mysterious and subtle and is defined by the surrealistic world of dreams around him.
Chad: In this movie, it sounds like he's on medication to keep him even.
Chad: And then when we get to the root cause of his actions, it's just so uncomfortable that it's almost difficult to watch.
Chad: Not in a cover your eyes, this is scary kind of way, but in a, hey, you want to watch a documentary about people who work as veterinary assistants?
Chad: Because they enjoy euthanizing dogs and cats?
Chad: Let's watch it.
Chad: Like, no, I don't want to watch that.
Chad: Yeah.
Chad: That sounds horrible.
Bo: There is a movie in which this performance fits.
Bo: There's just not enough around it.
Bo: Like you need to kind of know from jump what you're dealing with.
Bo: And the biggest problem I would say by far in this movie is that it tries to play so coy with its real premise.
Bo: And at a certain point that we'll get to in the not too distant future here, la la la, there is going to be a moment where the movie asks you to have some sympathy for this character.
Bo: And after what you've seen, why on earth would you?
Chad: Well, you wouldn't.
Bo: Right.
Chad: And also this movie feels like it's trying to do for Freddy Krueger what Nolan's Batman did for that character.
Chad: Let's get away from the camp and the silliness and let's really root it in reality and child abuse.
Chad: That just doesn't belong here.
Chad: I think it's completely misplaced.
Bo: Yeah.
Chad: It would be like, oh, by the way, Freddy Krueger's grandfather, Hitler.
Chad: Like, what the fuck?
Bo: It's way out of line.
Chad: That's right.
Chad: His grandfather was Freddy Krueger Adolf Hitler.
Bo: What?
Bo: So we cut back to this bookstore where Quentin and Nancy are both like, I'm tired.
Bo: You tired?
Bo: I'm real tired.
Chad: Take this.
Chad: It's called Zone Roll.
Chad: It's like speed for kids with attention deficit disorder.
Chad: I've been on it since I was like 15.
Chad: So like what?
Chad: 12 years?
Chad: I mean, two years.
Bo: She sees that he's wearing a cross and she's like, oh, that's weird.
Bo: Why are you wearing a cross?
Bo: Is it because of some deep seeded religious belief or something?
Chad: God, I believe in something.
Chad: Have you heard of Joseph Smith in the Book of Mormon?
Chad: Where are you going, Nancy?
Bo: Also, have you heard of the Joy Division?
Bo: It's the same shirt that I'm wearing in every scene in this movie because I'm kind of an alternative hipster guy.
Chad: You know, let's change the subjects.
Chad: My favorite thing to do, changing the subject.
Chad: Hey, you got a book over there.
Chad: It looks like a children's book.
Chad: It's probably something that everybody's read and heard of in our life except me.
Chad: What's that book about?
Chad: Oh, this, it's called The Pied Piper.
Chad: He showed up in this town full of rats and he got rid of the rats.
Chad: And then the townspeople, they didn't pay him.
Chad: So they got revenge by taking all the children.
Chad: I'm not sure how this is analogous to any other stories being told in this movie, but you know, some people just start good at writing screenplays.
Chad: Oh God, why would I say that?
Chad: You're so pretty.
Chad: Maybe it's a meta commentary or something that may, or just a side effect or a zone or all.
Chad: I don't know, but my penis still works.
Bo: He has books on sleep and sleep deprivation.
Chad: There's a copy of Good Night Moon there.
Bo: But this one copy of this Pied Piper story, and that's the one that she fixes on, is just one of the dumbest things in this movie.
Bo: But he also introduces the idea of micro naps.
Chad: How awesome did that sound?
Bo: It sounded great, and it's real convenient when it's used in this movie, because it doesn't happen all the time.
Chad: Do you want to explain what a micro nap is for people who haven't seen this movie?
Bo: The idea is that you become so tired that your body shuts down for like a minute at a time, where you're in a dream state, but you don't know you are.
Bo: And then the ultimate end of this is that you slip into a coma, which he describes as, that's like a forever dream.
Bo: Then Nancy just leaves, because we got to go back home and advance the story a little bit.
Bo: Nancy's mom finds her sketching some more.
Bo: Nancy says, hey, do I have a connection with Chris and Jesse and all those kids?
Bo: Because it seems like I do, but maybe I don't, I don't really know.
Chad: No, definitely not.
Chad: No, you never knew any of those people when you all attended preschool together.
Chad: Why would you think that?
Bo: Dude, you know a guy named Freddie?
Chad: Whoa, geez, Freddie, Freddie, let me think.
Chad: Freddie thinking Freddie.
Chad: Is that with an F or a PH?
Chad: An F?
Chad: Okay, let me think.
Chad: Oh, Freddie.
Chad: Does that end with a Y or an IE or two E's?
Chad: People spell their names in the most crazy ways.
Chad: Am I right?
Chad: Let's go with a Y.
Chad: Freddie, Freddie with a Y, Freddie with a Y.
Chad: No, you know what?
Chad: I'm gonna go downstairs because I'm tired of lying to you.
Chad: See you later, hon.
Bo: Boy, that was weird, but what are you gonna do?
Bo: Then her mom goes downstairs to call Clancy Brown and says ominously, Nancy's starting to remember.
Chad: Dum, dum, dum.
Bo: And then we have their version of the bath scene.
Chad: Yeah, she sets a timer on her phone to wake her up, which I was like, how long are you gonna be in the tub?
Bo: Right.
Bo: And so there's the glove in the water, like that, you know, comes up between her legs, which is surprisingly restrained for this moment.
Bo: But then she gets out of the tub, towels off, and is suddenly in a winter wonderland in her bedroom.
Chad: Well, it's an Arnea.
Bo: And so she finds a sign for the Badham School.
Chad: Cause she's in the dream world, Bo.
Bo: And so she goes to that and then Freddie pops up and is like, hey there, Nancy, you're all grown up.
Bo: You remember me, by the way, Freddie, look, you were always my number one girl.
Chad: You were my little Nancy.
Chad: Freddie with an F with a Y at the end, not an IE or two E's.
Chad: People spell their names in the craziest damn ways these days.
Chad: Come here a second, let me give you a little lick.
Bo: One of the bowler lines of the movie says, wow, you smell different.
Chad: Gross.
Bo: And then the alarm wakes her up and she's like, oh.
Chad: No, no, Nancy says, oh my God, you're so gross.
Chad: I set an alarm on my phone.
Chad: And Freddie Krueger says, yeah, but you set it in your dreams.
Chad: So it don't matter because this is a dream and it's a dream phone.
Chad: So joke's on you.
Chad: But then the phone ring because someone's calling her and Nancy wakes up in the tub and she answers the phone.
Chad: I wish this movie would stop with the whole, is it reality?
Chad: Is it a dream?
Chad: Is it a dream within a dream?
Chad: Is it a dream within a dream within a dream?
Chad: This movie is an inception.
Chad: It's not smart enough to pull something like that off.
Chad: And also when you're constantly blurring the lines of these two worlds, nothing really matters.
Chad: If Nancy's in a dream and she knows she's in a dream, use that to your advantage.
Chad: Summon a pterodactyl with a head of George Washington Carver.
Chad: Just firing off peanut butter lasers out of its eyes to kill Freddy Krueger.
Bo: Like right near Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Chad: With a AK-47 feet made of chainsaws.
Bo: That's a great idea.
Chad: Vomiting muffins that explode when they hit melty people.
Chad: Just do weird shit.
Chad: That would have been a good movie.
Bo: But it turns out it's not the alarm at all.
Bo: It's Quentin waking her up.
Chad: Oh, hey, hey, it's me, Quentin.
Chad: Uh, you remember Jesse?
Chad: He's dead.
Bo: Oh, wow, that's fair.
Bo: Hey, I just saw Freddy.
Bo: He was in my dream when I was in the tub.
Chad: Oh, that's, did he say anything about me?
Bo: No, we didn't really talk about you.
Bo: We mostly talked about what I smelled like.
Chad: God, I figured he would say something about me.
Chad: Oh, I slipped my mind.
Chad: Jesse, he died in his sleep and he was in jail because he killed Chris with a K.
Chad: Did you know that?
Chad: Oh wait, that's right.
Chad: You saw him the night of the murder.
Chad: You're probably gonna be a witness at the trial or at least sit for some depositions.
Chad: Wonder what that's like.
Chad: I bet it's different than on TV.
Chad: You like Law and Order?
Chad: Are you in the tub?
Chad: I hear water splashing.
Bo: I am on my way over.
Chad: Stay in the tub.
Bo: Maybe run some more warm water though so when I get there, it's not cold.
Bo: Also, I'm almost out of my pet pills.
Bo: I'm gonna try to get some more of those.
Bo: Anyway, so he shows up and they're doing some more research on the Badham Preschool.
Chad: Nah, they're using like MSN search or InfoSeek.
Bo: So while he's looking this up though, he sees this drawing of hers that matches a picture of the school that Quentin finds online.
Chad: I drew this picture of the school as for my dreams.
Chad: See these trees are outside the school and this happy little fella in the sky is his son.
Chad: You can tell he's happy because he drew him with a smiley face.
Bo: Also, I think my mom might be hiding something.
Bo: Oh no, this is really coming to a dramatic head.
Chad: I don't see how this guy in our dreams is connected to the school.
Chad: We gotta figure this out.
Chad: So these two sleuths, they rummage through Nancy's mom's office and they find a hidden folder in a drawer that's full of a treasure trove of information needed to move the plot of our movie along.
Chad: And this includes a preschool photo of a bunch of kids.
Chad: And in the photo are all of these children that are now grown up adults pretending to be teenagers.
Chad: But it's when they were like five and six years old.
Bo: Right, Nancy's mom shows up at this point.
Chad: What the hell are you doing going through my stuff?
Chad: Did you find my nudes?
Chad: Look, I was in college.
Chad: I needed money.
Chad: It was a different time.
Chad: Wait, what is that folder?
Chad: Ah, shit, you found the Freddy Krueger logo.
Chad: God damn it.
Bo: Why did you lie to me?
Bo: I am so upset.
Bo: Why did you make this whole place a house of lies and make me feel like I'm just nothing to you?
Chad: What happened to that pre-school?
Bo: You gotta tell us.
Bo: And she's like, look, I didn't want you to remember this.
Bo: And Nancy's like, remember, what did you want me to forget?
Bo: And then we get the plot of this movie where there's a flashback of Freddy, not the Berm version, but Jackie Earl Haley.
Chad: All right, Nancy, here's what happened.
Chad: Fred Krueger was a gardener at the preschool where all you kids went.
Chad: And he lived in the basement because, you know, most preschools at the time had a gardener on staff who lived in the basement of the preschool.
Chad: Now, Nancy, you were his favorite, but we started to notice some weird things.
Chad: Like when you came home and you had these four deep gashes across your back, that was weird.
Chad: And then this voiceover cuts in and out of shots of Fred Krueger, Fred, running around playing hide and seek with all these kids.
Chad: And he asked Nancy if she can come help him fix his drawings in the basement.
Chad: And we see a shot of Quentin's dad picking up the phone saying, yeah, Quentin's been acting strange lately.
Chad: I'm gonna get him on this new drug, Nofunitol, that his pediatrician recommended.
Chad: That'll make him comatose.
Bo: Nancy says that Freddy would take them to the secret cave.
Chad: When she's a little girl and she starts crying.
Bo: Yeah.
Chad: What are we doing, movies?
Bo: Right.
Bo: And then, so Nancy is like, so what happened to Fred Krueger after all of that?
Chad: Funny story, Nance, okay?
Chad: We never confronted him as an angry mob or murdered him with rage and hate in our hearts.
Chad: Let me just say that.
Chad: He, let me think, what happened to Fred Krueger?
Chad: He did not get burned alive.
Chad: I know that for a fact.
Chad: He got into a car that could fly one day and he just left town to go get ice cream and cigarettes and he never came back.
Bo: Yeah, just disappear, just left.
Chad: Quentin, I don't know if Nancy told you, but one of the things we do in this house that's so much fun, it's called changing the subject of the conversation.
Chad: I'm gonna do that right now.
Chad: These dreams that you're having, they're just repressed memories from a terrible time that you don't need to think about it anymore.
Bo: Yeah, she's like, there's no real danger.
Bo: These are all just repressed memories.
Bo: No, no, you're good, you're fine.
Chad: You're good, you're fine.
Chad: And Quentin totally buys it.
Bo: He's like, wow, that really sounds like a good idea, Nancy's mom.
Bo: And so outside Nancy is like, there's gotta be more than this.
Bo: Clancy Brown shows up to pick Quentin up.
Bo: Quentin, get in the car.
Chad: You're like, oh shit, you got Clancy Brown yelling at you to get in your car?
Chad: Like that's bad.
Bo: Oh yeah.
Chad: You're not gonna get out of that car and be the same person you were when you got in.
Chad: Unless he does a bunch of Mr.
Chad: Krabs impressions and even then you're gonna get out and be delighted, but that's not what's gonna happen.
Bo: He hauls Quentin off to school, I guess.
Chad: Best case scenario.
Bo: Well, because the next scene is it's swim practice with Quentin there.
Chad: What?
Bo: Right.
Chad: No, he's not.
Chad: There's nothing about this character that says, I'm on the swim team.
Bo: Apparently he is.
Chad: Look, screenplay.
Chad: Why not mention this earlier in the movie?
Chad: Go back to the diner, the one that's clearly now haunted and have him say like, hey guys, I'm carbo loading for the upcoming swim meet or I've got swim practice on Thursday.
Chad: Something.
Chad: You can't just take this guy and make him like a swimmer.
Chad: There's a better chance that he's going to be a rodeo clown.
Chad: I would have found that equally as believable.
Bo: Yeah, it's out of nowhere, but Nancy's looking up the other kids in this picture that she's found from the Vatom Preschool.
Chad: Right, she's on Ask Achieves.
Bo: Right, and Gigablast is telling her that they all died in their sleep.
Chad: Well, one of them died in her sleep.
Chad: That's suspicious.
Chad: And there's this kid named Brett Tanner.
Chad: He died in a car crash.
Chad: Maybe.
Chad: And then it cuts back to Quentin swimming in his swim meet.
Chad: Yeah, right.
Chad: And this swim coach, I don't know who the actor is who's playing him.
Chad: He's really selling it.
Chad: He's just like screaming out instructions on how to swim faster.
Chad: Like kick your legs, use your arms.
Chad: And as I'm doing this, I'm like, can swimmers hear their coach screaming instructions?
Chad: I don't think so.
Bo: Float faster.
Bo: Breathe.
Bo: Not the water.
Bo: The air.
Bo: Breathe the air, then float faster.
Chad: And then at this moment, Quentin gets yanked down underwater and he disappears, but he emerges from this murky pit of water at this abandoned industrial park that's ideal for a Scooby-Doo villain to set up camp.
Chad: And it's all dark and cold and Quentin gets out and he's standing there wearing his little Speedo man panties and he covers up his nipples with his crossed arms because he's cold and embarrassed.
Chad: And then at this time, a parade of cars comes whipping around the corner of this industrial park, chasing Fred Krueger.
Chad: Now, Jackie Earl Haley is about five feet, five inches tall.
Chad: He maybe weighs a buck 10.
Chad: He looks so teeny running away from these cars.
Chad: It's almost comical.
Bo: So let's get into this.
Bo: Quentin is running after him in his tiny little mankini.
Chad: Krueger, come out you bastard!
Chad: Like, oh my God, that's the last thing you want to hear from Clancy Brown.
Chad: For those who don't know who Clancy Brown is, Clancy Brown was the main prison guard from Shawshank.
Chad: He is a terrifying man.
Chad: If anybody was going to organize some homegrown mob justice, it's Clancy Brown.
Bo: He was the Kurgan from Highlander.
Bo: You know, he's that dude.
Bo: So when the Kurgan is yelling like, come out here Krueger, you're like, fuck no.
Chad: You should just shit your pants immediately.
Bo: So like he's barricading himself inside this building while a bunch of parents are surrounding it, wielding pipes and big sticks and a Clancy Brown.
Chad: From inside Fred Krueger, he screams out, whatever you think I did, I didn't do it.
Chad: And then Quentin's dad, Clancy Brown, he pulls out a can of gasoline from the trunk of his car and like takes a small towel into it, making the biggest Molotov cocktail I've ever seen.
Chad: Nancy's mom is there and she's like, I don't think this is right guys.
Chad: And then some random dad goes, what are we supposed to do Nancy's mom?
Chad: Have him arrested, go to trial, have our kids on the stand, testifying under oath as to what he did, let the justice system work the way it's intended.
Chad: You live in a fantasy land, Nancy's mom.
Chad: Didn't you see the first movie?
Chad: Freddy Krueger is gonna get off on a technicality.
Chad: There are two justice systems, one for child murdering pedophiles who never go to jail and a judicial system for the rest of us.
Bo: So they ignore her and just start chucking Molotov cocktails into this place where Freddy burns as the building just belches fire out the windows.
Bo: And then he runs out the front door of this place while he's burning, staring at Quentin until Quentin like jerks awake, brought back to life from drowning, question mark?
Chad: Yeah, his coach gave him mouth to mouth.
Bo: I guess.
Chad: Wake up, damn you!
Bo: Not on my watch!
Chad: Freeze, damn you!
Bo: Yeah.
Bo: So while that's going down, Nancy is continuing to her research and she finds a guy named Marcus Yon who has this web video log, a vlog if you will, that she finds on Giga Blast about his nightmares.
Bo: And he's like, look, there's this guy named Freddy and there's a preschool and those things relate to one another and he was chasing me into a basement.
Bo: Like that's where he wants me to go in my dream, to find something.
Chad: All right.
Chad: Couple of important things.
Bo: Please.
Chad: Number one, the URL for Marcus Yon's website, write this down listeners.
Chad: It's www.marcusyonblogslashtrueslashpercentageslineslash.htm.
Chad: There's no.com in this URL.
Chad: There's no.net.
Chad: There's no.edu.
Chad: Also, Marcus Yon is played by Aaron Uke, who also played Chewie in the remake of Friday the 13th.
Chad: And I was so happy to see that neither of his hands was holding a bong or an empty bottle of booze.
Chad: They're watching these videos of this jackass and Chewie says, I had a nightmare.
Chad: The burned man in the striped sweater, he chased me.
Chad: I ran, but he ended up in front of a preschool.
Chad: I think he wants me to go to the basement.
Chad: Then there's a second video where Chewie says, I haven't slept in three days.
Chad: If I sleep, I'll die.
Chad: Someone help me, please.
Chad: Then the last video has Chewie going, nom.
Chad: And then he just falls asleep in front of his webcam and something smashes his head into the computer screen.
Chad: So he's dead or something.
Chad: And I was like, who posted that last video on a website?
Chad: These weren't live streams.
Chad: What kind of a monster did that?
Chad: Michael Bay, that's it.
Bo: Quentin then shows up and says, I think I know what happened to Freddie.
Bo: So Quentin and Nancy go to Clancy Brown's office where Quentin says, Dad, I know you killed Freddie Krueger.
Bo: And Clancy Brown immediately gets up from behind his desk, all seven and a half feet of him, shuts the door and is like, this stays in this office.
Bo: And you're like, oh, he's going to kill both of them.
Chad: Instant diarrhea, just nervous shits are pouring down your leg.
Bo: Yeah, and he says, we were protecting you kids.
Chad: After what you kids told us.
Chad: And Quentin is immediately team Freddie Krueger.
Chad: And he screams at his dad, don't do that.
Chad: Your dad's Clancy Brown.
Chad: And he goes, we were five, we would have said anything.
Chad: And I was like, wait, what?
Bo: Right.
Chad: For what, for who?
Chad: Are you suggesting that a group of five-year-olds conspired to tell tall tales of sexual molestation because they wanted to, what exactly?
Bo: This is where the movie goes wildly off the rails, in my opinion.
Bo: The minute that you have the main characters of your movie getting on Team Freddy, who has murdered all of your friends, by the way.
Chad: And sexually molested them when they were children, both boys and girls.
Bo: Well, all right, so the idea is they're saying, well, maybe that's not what happened.
Bo: Maybe we said he molested us, but what really happened was that he did no such thing, and we just accused him of this, and then you guys murdered him because of some make-em-ups on our side.
Chad: But that would have made sense, Bo, because later we find out he is a child molester.
Chad: The story makes sense if the parents have wrongfully murdered this man by burning him alive, and now he is back to exact revenge.
Chad: That makes sense.
Chad: You cannot have a character who is a child molester, and then the parents killed him, and now he's coming back to what?
Chad: Exact revenge on the adult children that he molested?
Bo: So here's how you do this.
Bo: You can do this one of two ways.
Chad: One, you don't make the movie.
Bo: All right, three ways.
Bo: You can do this one of three ways.
Bo: One, you just call the whole thing off.
Bo: Two, you don't have him sniffing and licking Nancy.
Bo: You just have him terrorizing these children.
Bo: Okay, and then it does become what the original was, which is like in the original, he wasn't a child molester, he was a child killer.
Bo: They're very careful to say that, but in this one, you can say, no, no, no.
Bo: The reason he's doing this is because he was wrongfully killed because of these children's false accusations.
Bo: That is one way to play it.
Chad: Okay, but like I said, the only way the story makes sense is if the parents killed an innocent man and now he's back to exact revenge.
Chad: You cannot have a bad guy who is a child molester, who was killed for his crimes, come back to kill the children that he molested?
Chad: Talk about insult to injury.
Bo: All right, so that's the thing is I think you can play it either way, but this movie wants to do it both ways, which is to kind of head fake like, oh, this guy who's been a creepy murderous pervert all the way through the movie is somehow innocent.
Bo: You know, like we're supposed to feel some measure of empathy for him.
Bo: But then, like you said, it turns out, oh, surprise, surprise, he really was a molester, so.
Chad: But you don't feel empathy because he's killing children, like adult children.
Bo: You're purely talking motive for the murder, not at any point that you're trying to make the audience get on Freddy Krueger's side.
Bo: You have fucked up.
Chad: Especially because he's a child molester in this movie.
Bo: Yes, exactly right.
Bo: And so, see, we're on the same page.
Chad: And then you are just complicating this unnecessarily.
Bo: Absolutely.
Bo: And so Quentin ends up storming out.
Bo: I hate you, Ted.
Chad: Freddy Krueger is my real dad.
Bo: Right, because he thinks that Freddy is the greatest guy in the world or something.
Bo: Clancy Brown tells Nancy, like, Freddy never existed.
Bo: You didn't forget about all of this.
Bo: And so Nancy ends up following Quentin out.
Bo: And Quentin is convinced, like the way he puts it is, we got Freddy killed.
Bo: Then we get the first of the micro naps, I think, here, where Nancy hears Chris with a K whisper to her.
Bo: And there's the body bag, like from the original, the body bag with Chris inside it.
Bo: Only it's not really that scary and doesn't amount to anything here.
Bo: Quentin and Nancy go to a pharmacy so Quentin can pick up some more pills.
Chad: He clearly looks like a drug addict.
Chad: And when he goes to this pharmacist and he's like, can you fill up this prescription?
Chad: I don't know if he refills, but I really need your help.
Chad: The pharmacist is like, no.
Chad: He's like, come on, man, fill it up.
Chad: No, just fill it up.
Chad: No, come on.
Chad: No, please.
Chad: No, be a pal.
Chad: Come on, man.
Chad: No, and this goes on for way too long.
Bo: So while that is happening, Nancy is outside seeing Freddie by the window of the car and getting thrown the hell out of it before waking up inside.
Bo: She eventually just goes into the pharmacy where the movie plays.
Bo: Chad, are you ready for this one?
Bo: All I have to do is dream is playing.
Chad: Yeah, by the Everly Brothers, which I'll say that in this moment in the film, it's pretty well placed.
Chad: I'm going to give the movie credit where credit's due here.
Chad: It's a little on the nose, but it has kind of this haunting atmospheric quality to it as she walks through the pharmacy and then immediately we're in the dream world and Freddy Krueger shows up and the aisles of the pharmacy turn into the steam pipes of the boiler room that don't exist in this movie.
Bo: Yeah.
Chad: And it's all done with CGI and it's not very effective in its creepiness.
Bo: And again, I just don't like the color palette of this movie.
Bo: It just looks gross and not in the like disgusting visceral way.
Bo: It's just off putting.
Chad: Nancy's walking along, Freddy Krueger's there sparking up with his knife fingers in the boiler room.
Chad: And then Nancy reaches out and she grabs his sweater and rips a piece off.
Chad: And then Freddy Krueger swipes at Nancy's arm and screams, wake up, you're bleeding.
Chad: And as this happens, Nancy does wake up and Quentin is with her in the aisle of the pharmacy.
Chad: She is covered in blood.
Chad: And also that pharmacist is 100% on the phone talking to 911.
Bo: Absolutely.
Bo: Yeah.
SPEAKER_4: We got another one, boys.
Bo: Quentin is like, we gotta get you to a hospital.
Bo: And because also he needs some pills.
Bo: And so Nancy's mom shows up while Quentin is pilfering some epinephrine from the hospital.
Chad: She's getting all patched up.
Chad: This nurse comes in and she's like, we're just gonna give you a little something for the pain.
Chad: It's gonna knock you right out.
Chad: And Nancy objects to the point where she sees Freddy Krueger's gloved hand in the air.
Chad: She just kicks the syringe out of the nurse's hand.
Chad: And then Nancy's mom is pulled out into the hallway and the nurse's like, we need you to sign this consent form so we can give something to Nancy to kind of calm her down.
Chad: We don't like getting kicked.
Chad: And so she signs it and the nurse goes back in to juice up Nancy, but Bo, Nancy is gone.
Chad: Did she jump out the window?
Chad: Who cares?
Bo: Or whatever, yeah.
Chad: You ever been at a hospital room?
Chad: There's one way in and one way out.
Chad: It's the door.
Bo: Right, by design.
Bo: So that things like this don't happen.
Bo: But it turns out she's with Quentin in his car and Quentin is like, hey, you want some of this sweet epinephrine I scored?
SPEAKER_4: I'm just trying to stay awake, I don't need it.
Bo: He just grabs this hypo full of epinephrine, jabs it into his thigh.
Chad: Whoa, that's the good stuff.
Bo: Gets himself goosed and ready to go.
Bo: And so Nancy, instead of taking the shot is like, why don't you just talk to me so I can stay awake or something?
Bo: He's like, how about this?
Bo: Why don't you ever come out when I invite you out?
Bo: I mean, it's a big deal if you don't, I mean, I don't care.
Bo: But sometimes we invite you out and you never come.
Bo: I don't know why that is.
Chad: Oh my God, oh my God, this is crazy.
Chad: Hey, how about this?
Chad: I'm gonna pull the car over and you and I are gonna race.
Chad: We're gonna have a race, okay?
Chad: You run one mile, I'm gonna run 10 miles.
Chad: If I beat you, then you have to go out on a date with me.
Chad: Ha ha, wouldn't that be so much fun?
Chad: Oh my God, oh my God, can you hear my foot?
Chad: Put your hand on my chest.
Chad: Feel that, feel that, feel that, feel that?
Chad: That's my heart, oh my God, oh my God, that's my heart.
Chad: I think I'm gonna die, I think I'm gonna die.
Chad: Oh, this is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy, I'm gonna take off my shoes, and then he swerves the car because Freddy Krueger shows up in the middle of the road.
Bo: Before we get to that, Chad, let me just give you a line that I absolutely hate in this movie.
Chad: Please.
Bo: Which is, after he asks her repeatedly and quickly why she never comes out, she says, I don't know if you know this, but I don't exactly fit in.
Bo: What are you talking about?
Bo: Jesse is showing up at your window after he's committed a murder.
Bo: He's clearly a friend.
Bo: When you went to this funeral, everyone knew who you were.
Bo: This guy is hitting on you.
Bo: Where don't you fit in?
Chad: Everybody doesn't like me.
Chad: How come everybody doesn't like me?
Chad: Just most everybody.
Bo: What are you talking about?
Bo: Why does this character believe that she doesn't fit in when that, like everyone in this movie, knows who she is and seems to like her?
Chad: Because this movie is lazy.
Chad: It's because it's garbage.
Chad: That's why.
Bo: It drives me so crazy.
Bo: That line in particular, even the first time I saw this, I was like, what are you talking about?
Bo: Who was it that has ever shown you anything but kindness and consideration?
Bo: But anyway, so he's like, if we survive, I'll show you, I'll take you on a real day, a real date.
Bo: That'd be fun.
Bo: Yeah, we'll do it.
Bo: Maybe do the movies.
Bo: I don't know.
Bo: Maybe dinner before.
Bo: I don't know.
Bo: Maybe we'll get some ice cream.
Bo: That'd be great.
Chad: And then he crashes the car into a lake after seeing a vision of Freddy Krueger in the middle of the road.
Chad: Luckily, he crashed the car within like walking distance of the preschool, which is right over there, Bo.
Bo: Fortunately, yes, Freddy has driven them off the road about a quarter mile from where they were going in the first place.
Chad: You think that was intentional?
Chad: Because he's supposed to be like making them go there.
Chad: He's like, stay.
Chad: He's like, hey, stop.
Bo: This is where you're headed, over there.
Bo: Yeah, but also, like, why even bother?
Bo: They're going where you want them to.
Bo: Just let it happen.
Chad: He's a micromanager.
Bo: Oh man, that's just the worst.
Chad: They go to this preschool, which has been shut down for what, a decade?
Chad: It was just abandoned?
Chad: These two wander in the walls of this preschool are adorned with children's drawings of monsters.
Chad: I was like, when would children do this?
Chad: I think that's why this place was shut down, just poor management.
Chad: Kids drawing on the walls, shitting in the halls, refusing to eat their orange slices, shut it down.
Bo: As they're wandering through this school, Quint has a micro nap where he sees Freddy murder Nancy, but then he blinks and she's okay and everything's fine.
Chad: This movie's so terrible, Bo.
Chad: It sucks.
Bo: So they find this room in the basement of Freddy as well as the remains of the original knife glove.
Chad: Hey, I found a lantern.
Chad: It still works.
Bo: I'm gonna light this lantern.
Chad: Why did he bring us into this basement for a reason?
Chad: I don't know why though.
Bo: And they find like some pictures that Nancy drew and there's a bulletin board there.
Bo: And Nancy for some reason is like, hey, I think there's a door behind this bulletin board for no reason.
Bo: How about we open it up?
Chad: Hey, look over here.
Chad: There's a room with a mattress and a creepy clown mask.
Chad: I think I've been here before.
Chad: Hey, those are like my drawings on the wall.
Bo: As they're going around, Quentin finds a box with a camera and pictures in it.
Chad: Oh my God, oh my God.
Chad: These are pictures of you.
Chad: Oh my God, you're not wearing any clothes.
Chad: Oh my God, oh my God.
Chad: You're a child.
Chad: You're a little girl.
Chad: Oh my God.
Chad: Who did these?
Chad: Oh, Freddy Krueger took these pictures.
Bo: Right, and she's like, let me see those pictures.
Bo: And he's like, you don't want to see these.
Bo: Trust me.
Bo: You do not want to see these pictures.
Chad: As much as I wanted to see you naked, it was not under these circumstances.
Bo: And she snatches them.
Bo: And Quentin says what we all knew all along watching this movie, which is, I think we were wrong.
Bo: I think Freddie's a bad guy.
Chad: I think he's the villain of our story.
Chad: Yeah, he's like, not my dad, Clancy Brown.
Bo: He's not after us because we lied, but because we told the truth.
Chad: What?
Bo: And then Nancy says, I think he brought us back here so we could remember what he did to us.
Chad: What?
Bo: Then this is where Nancy comes up with the crackpot idea of, here's what we need to do.
Bo: I'm gonna go to sleep and grab Freddie and then you're gonna wake me up.
Bo: He's like, all right, I guess, and gives her his shitty cross and says, you know, you gotta believe in something.
Chad: So is Jesus gonna protect Nancy from Freddy Krueger with the cross?
SPEAKER_4: I guess.
Bo: All right.
Chad: So Nancy goes to sleep to get Freddie Krueger so she can drag him back into the real world.
Chad: And where does she decide to go to sleep, Bo?
Chad: On the dingy, stank ass, stained mattress in this pedophile's den of disgust.
Chad: And Quentin walks over, he breaks off the blade from a paper cutter for protection.
Bo: Yeah.
Chad: Good God.
Chad: Nancy and Quentin, they immediately fall asleep and they're in this spooky basement dream world with flames and steam tunnels and all kinds of nonsense around them.
Chad: Quentin wanders around until Freddie Krueger shows up and goes full Ike Turner on him, just bouncing Quentin's head off the steam pipes.
Chad: And Freddie Krueger says, ah, you can't save her.
Bo: How about this?
Chad: Let's play a game.
Chad: Tag, you're it.
Chad: And then Freddie Krueger rakes his blades across Quentin's chest.
Chad: So I'm like, Quentin is now openly bleeding in the real world, which looks like how he killed Chris with a K.
Chad: He can't survive that.
Chad: It killed Chris with a K.
Chad: Quentin's less of a man than she was.
Chad: We saw him in his man panties swimming in the water.
Chad: He was this milk toast waif of a man, pretending to be 15 when he's 32.
Bo: Here, Nancy.
Chad: Krueger.
Bo: And Freddie is like, Hey Krueger.
Bo: All right, I'm gonna get back to you.
Bo: I'm gonna go check out what Nancy's doing.
Bo: I think maybe she's the most boring person I've ever met and I kind of want to confirm this.
Bo: He tracks her down.
Chad: Hey, Nancy, you found me.
Chad: Hey, why don't you and I play a game, all right?
Bo: You're not real.
Bo: And he's like, Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Bo: Look, I will take a lot of business from you, but I will not stand you telling me I'm not real.
Bo: I'm as real as they come, sister.
Chad: Oh yeah?
Chad: Fuck you, Freddie Krueger.
Bo: Suddenly, she's at home and hiding in her closet, a la the original Halloween.
Bo: He finds her, so then she runs, and then the hallway turns into a bunch of sludge.
Chad: It melts into this red liquid, which is a little bit like the mushy stairs from the original where they used all that pancake mix.
Chad: And then Freddie Krueger sees Nancy covered in the blood, and he's like, hey Nancy, how's that for a wet dream?
Chad: And you're just like, gross.
Bo: Right.
Bo: And then the most disgusting part of the movie happens where she sinks into this mug, falls through the ceiling and into her bed.
Bo: Only now she's in little girl clothes.
Chad: It's this adult size version of her childhood dress.
Chad: Right.
Bo: And so Freddie shows up in the doorway.
Chad: Look into molester a second time?
Bo: That is totally the implication.
Chad: But she's an adult.
Bo: But she's in little girl clothes.
Bo: So that's close enough.
Bo: All right.
Chad: He's like, you remember me, Nancy?
Chad: Your memories fuel me.
Chad: Your mouth says no, but your body says yes.
Bo: It's just so gross.
Chad: Vomit in your mouth.
Chad: This is the pinnacle of what this movie gets wrong, Bo.
Chad: Yeah.
Chad: As a Nightmare on Elm Street remake, slasher horror, in my opinion, is over the top.
Chad: It's big and it's loud and it's visceral.
Chad: It deals with insane circumstances that don't exist in the real world.
Chad: Child molestation and sexual assault don't belong in a movie like this.
Chad: This is a slasher movie.
Chad: Topics like rape and especially child rape have no place here.
Bo: Yeah.
Chad: This is a cartoonish movie about boogie man monsters that don't exist in the real world.
Chad: Sexual predators do.
Chad: There is a notable distinction between these nightmares of your dreams and Fred, the guy who was arrested for doing unthinkable acts on little boys and girls.
Bo: Yeah.
Chad: Hell, why not make him a racist or an anti-Semite white nationalist?
Chad: Just pile on all of these horrible human traits.
Bo: It is not what you come to a movie like this for.
Bo: Like, you know, you mentioned the movie Little Children in the introduction.
Bo: It's like that movie deals with the same kind of subject matter, but that's a dramatic film that is dealing very explicitly with some tough material and it's got real actors talking about this stuff and all of that.
Bo: But for a slasher movie like this, no.
Bo: It's too heavy of a spice.
Bo: You just do not do it.
Bo: It's everything that's wrong with the movie.
Bo: And then he's like whispering to her, your memories are what fuels me and now it's time to play.
Chad: He throws her across the room into the wall and then she picks up a pair of scissors and stabs him in the eyeball.
Chad: And then Freddy Krueger pulls the scissors out of his eye socket and he says, you can't hurt me, you're in my world.
Chad: Back in the real world, Nancy is asleep and she's screaming.
Chad: Quentin wakes up, his belly's all gutted, he's covered in blood.
Bo: But he wakes up and shakes Nancy awake.
Bo: Freddy says, you think your boyfriend can wake you up?
Bo: I'm your boyfriend now.
Bo: Well, you know, like from the original movie.
Chad: And then he tells her, I had to keep you up long enough so that when you finally went back to sleep, you'd never wake up.
Chad: That's like coma, your buddy mentioned that earlier.
Chad: So you're gonna sleep forever.
SPEAKER_4: Like what?
Chad: Yeah.
Chad: Quentin finally jumps up, he grabs the epinephrine pen and just stabs Nancy with it.
Chad: And she wakes up, she grabs Freddy Krueger, pulls him into the real world.
Chad: Quentin then grabs the paper cutter blade that he broke off and just takes a swing at Freddy Krueger and just takes a swing at Freddy Krueger.
Chad: Freddy Krueger then stabs Quentin in the shoulder with his finger knives.
Chad: The three of them kind of tussle for a while in this basement until Nancy takes the detached paper cutting blade and just lops off Freddy Krueger's hand, the one with the finger knives on it.
Chad: That's the important one.
Chad: And Nancy says, it hurts, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_4: That's because you're in my world, bitch.
SPEAKER_4: Yeah.
Chad: And then she just slits his throat with this paper cutting blade.
Chad: Freddy Krueger's head tilts back, a bunch of black liquid squirts out.
Chad: I guess it's blood.
Chad: I don't know if Freddy Krueger has blood in the dream world, who cares?
Chad: Down he goes.
Chad: This is kind of the ending of our movie.
Chad: It's quite anticlimactic.
Bo: Yeah.
Bo: And then Nancy tosses a lantern to set the place on fire.
Chad: Burn this motherfucker down.
Chad: Don't remember anymore.
Bo: We don't need no water.
Bo: Let the motherfucker burn.
Bo: And yeah, so the place catches fire.
Bo: She helps Quentin out.
Chad: I like when the fire truck and the ambulances show up.
Chad: This one fireman walks by and shouts out, hey, there's no sign of a body anywhere.
Chad: I'm like, did you check the basement?
SPEAKER_4: Duh, stupid.
Bo: Right.
Bo: You know, Quentin's getting loaded into an ambulance and Nancy says, oh good, the nightmare's over.
Bo: We won.
Bo: And so we cut to a later scene where back at home, Nancy's mom is sending her to bed with her arm in a sling.
SPEAKER_4: Mom, I know you're just trying to protect me.
Chad: Thanks, mom.
Chad: You're the best mom ever.
Bo: And then she sees behind her mother in the mirror, Freddie hanging out.
Bo: She's like, oh no, mom, there's something behind you.
Bo: And Freddie leaps out, stabs her mother through the face and drags her into the mirror as Nancy screams and then credits.
Chad: And they give us a little more of the Everly Brothers dream.
Bo: Yeah.
Chad: And this final scene is a bit of a callback to the original where Nancy's mom gets killed by getting yanked through the window of the front door.
Chad: And that's it.
Chad: That's how they wrapped it up.
Bo: Yep.
Bo: That is the end of the movie and it is just rotten.
Chad: It is not good at all.
Bo: Yeah, it's just like, it's not scary.
Chad: It's not entertaining.
Chad: It's not suspenseful.
Chad: All the actors are miscast.
Bo: Or just don't care.
Bo: There's nothing in this movie for anybody.
Chad: Michael Bay had to beg the director to make, like everyone feels like they are being forced to do this.
Chad: Right.
Chad: It's like, you know, some judge passed sentence on it.
SPEAKER_4: Clack, clack.
Chad: You're all sentenced to make a remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Bo: Ah, shit.
Bo: Yeah, everybody got busted with a DUI.
SPEAKER_4: With a big bag of weed.
SPEAKER_4: And they're like, that's your punishment.
Bo: Right, and yeah, your punishment is making the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Bo: Like do yourself a favor, just go watch the original again, or if you, you know, by all means watch Elm Street 3, it's really fun at least.
Bo: There's nothing for anybody in this movie.
Chad: Luckily, we have episode five Bo, and it's gonna redeem all of this.
Bo: Yeah, yeah, sure it will.
Bo: Because, you know, right on time, Chad, we're doing a movie called Halloween only a couple of short weeks after Halloween.
Chad: Lesser podcasts would have released the Halloween episode before Halloween.
Chad: We're not gonna do that.
Chad: We zig when you think we're gonna zag people.
Bo: We have too much respect for our listeners to time a podcast just because of some arbitrary holiday.
Bo: No, no, no, no.
Bo: We are here to make sure that you get a quality episode, not a quality episode when the holiday dictates it, but when the episode is ready or when we get around to it, whichever.
Bo: Rob Zombie doing a remake.
Bo: At least we're out of Platinum Dunes territory, so that's something.
Chad: Yeah, that's in the rear view mirror for good.
Chad: We are not gonna come back and deal with anything Platinum Dunes related, I hope.
Chad: Right.
Chad: I think.
Bo: Well, yeah, we'll see what happens on episode six for the finale.
Bo: But at least for episode five, we are going to be pivoting from the land of Platinum Dunes and Lazy Remakes to cover a movie that I would argue is at least made with intention, although it's not any better of an idea.
Chad: Rob Zombie's The Monsters.
Bo: No, Rob Zombie's Halloween.
Bo: Although you could kind of say that of a lot of Rob Zombie movies, just like he meant to do it.
Bo: It's just not a very good idea.
Bo: Like, have you ever thought to yourself, boy, I like Halloween and all, but what if there were some hellbillies in it?
SPEAKER_4: What if it was 30 to 40 minutes longer with an unnecessary backstory and an unfulfilling ending?
Bo: Yes.
Chad: That would be good, right?
Bo: Right.
Chad: What if it was peppered with cameos like a modern day episode of The Love Boat?
Bo: Yeah, and what if everybody in the movie was a complete dirtbag, you know?
Bo: Like even the characters that you're supposed to like, what if they were dirtbags, too?
SPEAKER_4: What if central casting took place out at the Exxon station on Route 12?
SPEAKER_4: Anybody who comes in's got a chance to show up in this movie.
Bo: I mean, we'll get into all of this, but it's just, it's a real something.
Bo: I'm already not looking forward to it.
SPEAKER_4: I find that most of the movies that we do on this podcast, we don't really look forward to.
Bo: You know, every now and again, there's one that I'm like, hey, this is pretty good, but this season's been rough.
Bo: These are bad, bad movies.
Chad: I thought this was a season for you.
Chad: This was your horror season.
Bo: Yeah, but like not the bad stuff.
Bo: Like, it's not like we're doing The Babadook, you know, and like, oh, let's have a heady conversation about postpartum depression or something.
Bo: It's like, here's a bunch of really terrible ideas.
SPEAKER_4: Another episode has come to a close.
Chad: As always, like, rate, review, tell a friend, share with others the wonderful majesty that is Pick Six Movies for all of the interns and the back of house people, the people who work in sales and marketing, and of course, our newly founded e-commerce division, selling Hornstick and all of our T-shirts and just everything.
Chad: We just, we thank all of them from the bottom of our hearts.
Chad: Bo, any final thoughts that you have on the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street?
Bo: I just hope this movie doesn't end up at the bottom of the list this season.
Bo: This is the best, yay!
SPEAKER_4: We'll see you in two weeks' time.
SPEAKER_4: I can't guarantee that it's gonna be too much better than this, Bob.
Chad: Yay!