Show Notes
Transcript for Ep25
Hello and welcome to She’s Fabulous Show.
Having a mentor, finding a coach. This is not something new but one that we have been hearing or reading as one of the success secrets of the rich, famous, successful people. But if that is so, why is it that not everyone has one?
With thousands of coaches popping up in social media feeds offering some sort of coaching service, I feel that it somehow has lost that feeling of being “privileged” that came with having a mentor or coach during my younger days. Previously when we hear of someone having a mentor or a coach, the impression is that it is expensive and only for the wealthy people who can afford to pay them. But actually, a Mentor can be anywhere or anyone in our world, can even be free.
If I look back, the person I can consider as my first Mentor was my boss when I entered the insurance world. Coming from a medical background, I have no idea of what life insurance is all about. My lady boss then had taught me from scratch and has exposed me to all opportunities to learn the ins and outs as quickly as possible. But outside of my work duties, I have seen from how she shows up everyday qualities that I just unconsciously picked up - being professional, being empathic, being resourceful, being driven and committed, being a wonderful mother and wife, being a loyal friend. The way that she has treated me as her subordinate were my first lessons on how to manage people and take care of them, how to lead by example, how to be customer-centric. Being under her for 17 years which is ⅓ of my lifetime by now, I can say that she has been the most influential person that has shaped my working career.
Outside of my work life, I was able to develop and grow my success mindset through my neuro linguistic programming mentor. Mainly his course has given me a different way of looking at things in life as expected from what is in scope of what I paid for when I enrolled in his classes. Beyond that, his life journey has been a model to me of serving other people, of being generous, the value of life and the time left for us in this word to make our existence matter. Being a cancer survivor, a loving Dad and husband, a teacher who connects and shows genuine interest in the success of others - he has ignited in me that desire to really be of service to others while we have the time, for we never know when bad luck will strike again even to the nicest people. The lessons I learned from him and his course was the starting point of achieving my goals one by one. It is from him that I learned about modelling other people’s success to save time, resources and effort in getting our dreams.
Well I had virtual mentors too, ones who have been feeding my mind and affirming my success psychology day by day by day. There are prominent personal development gurus whom I listen to as I start or end my day, who give me consistent doses of learnings, tips and encouragement. It can be through their courses or free content, these virtual mentors have made learning a necessity to me everyday. I tune in to podcasts when I am out for a walk or run or when I am in the shower. I watch video tutorials while I dress up and prepare for my day. I tune in as I enjoy lunch or dinner.
I realised that having a mentor has been very beneficial in my journey both in my career and personal relationships. And one very important element to me is that my Mentor should be someone I can relate to, someone I highly respect, and someone who demonstrates the values that are important to me. Without all these, a connection will never happen which makes the relationship difficult to thrive.
I have also seen in my own experience that how a mentor has treated me has a huge impact on how I become a mentor to others. What has helped me grow and become successful, my relationship with him or her, I tend to mimic and demonstrate to my mentees. Of course my style of mentoring another is an improved version but basically, I make sure I show up like my favourite mentors as I want to be like them to someone else.
But one thing for sure - having a mentor or coach need not be expensive. You see for me, technically it is the job of my first boss or my NLP mentor to coach me. But that also shows that mentors or coaches can be someone in our circle from whom we are learning and can continue to learn a lot from. But if you can afford it, find a mentor or a coach. Imagine having someone to just push you when you need it, one to celebrate milestones and be your cheerleader. The list of benefits of what a mentor or coach can do for us by far outweighs the cost. Make that investment now to accelerate your growth and achieve your goals.
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