CREDITS: Yellowbird Media presents Higher Grounds, a scripted audio drama written and produced by Kimberly Conway. Higher Grounds contains mature themes and topics that may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.
KAT: When we ended our last episode, the future looked bright for the girls. Sylvia and Charles were head over heels in love. Ross had found love too with aspiring record producer Gordon Jenkins. Elle stood up to her mother for the very first time, refusing to film Beachmania three, choosing instead to spend her last year of high school attending public school with her friends. The divine darlings had just recorded a demo, and from the moment they left the studio, they'd been lost in a dreamland of possibility.
But none of them knew just how temporary that feeling would be. I'm Kat Singleton, and this is Higher Grounds episode three, the end of an era. Monday, back at school, the girls were still riding high with excitement from recording their demo, humming the song in the hallways between classes. And this is where things start to fall apart.
ROZ: Roz, when that last bell rang and everyone started pouring out into the hallways, there was so much chatter, more than usual. It seemed like everyone was gossiping about something.
SYLVIA: Sylvia, we always met at Elle's locker at the end of the day so we could walk out to her car together. That day it seemed like everyone was looking at us. I remember this group of girls walked by and as soon as they passed us they burst out laughing. I turned to Elle and said, what's going on?
ROZ: The girls were already standing by Elle's locker when I got there. I said, what's everybody all round up about? They didn't have a clue. Then we walked outside and we saw.
SYLVIA: Elle's Mercedes was being loaded onto the back of a repo truck. Elle ran out to the man just as he was getting back into his truck as she said there has to be some mistake. And he told her there was no mistake. I think he gave her a phone number to call. She ended up calling her mother as soon as she got home, and Gretchen told her if she wasn't gonna be working, there was no money for luxuries like expensive cars.
KAT: At the time, Elle's mother still managed her career and handled all of her money. She made Elle's car payment, sent her a monthly allowance, and at Elle's request, she had also been sending a few $100 a month to Elle's grandparents. Elle's grandfather had been injured in a car accident, and he wasn't able to work enough to cover the bills. Her grandparents had come to depend on that money, and now it was gone. On the phone that day, Gretchen told Elle there was one simple solution to all of this, Come back
SYLVIA: to
KAT: California and do the third beach movie.
SYLVIA: We told Elle, don't let them manipulate you like that. You don't need that car anyway. But it wasn't just about the car, you know. Her grandparents were depending on that money. And I think the way things went down with her car getting repossessed right out of the school parking lot, there was a lot of embarrassment too.
She didn't wanna go back and face everyone at school after that.
KAT: Elle spoke about this in her audio journal. Here's her take on it.
ELLE: To this day, I have no doubt that my mother orchestrated the whole scene. It wouldn't surprise me if she was sitting in the parking lot watching it all happen. It was just way too perfect, way too convenient. She probably paid the guy extra to come right as school was letting out. She always did love a good audience.
By that time, I learned to speak her language. I knew how to interpret all her little messages. The message that day was, don't forget, I call the shots. And as much as I hated it, I knew it was true. She wanted me to go back to work.
So that's what I did. It was easier that way.
KAT: The day after Thanksgiving, Elle caught a flight back to California to begin preparations for Beach Mania three.
ROZ: We all went to the airport to see her off and we were crying like we always did when we had to let her go.
JONI: Joni, it felt like everything was falling apart, not just in our lives. It felt like the whole world was on fire.
KAT: In 1969, the Vietnam War was raging on, dividing the nation, dividing families. Protests were happening all across the country. On December 1, the selective service system held a televised draft lottery to determine the order that draftees would be called to serve in the war. Young men with birth dates ranging from 01/01/1944 to 12/31/1950 would be included in the lottery. Charles, who had just turned 19 in September, had barely made the cut.
Gordon, born in 1949, was also in jeopardy. All across the country, people were on the edge of their seats as they tuned in. Some watching on television, others listening on the radio. The ninety minutes that followed would change the lives of half a million men and the people who loved them.
SYLVIA: We all sat around the dinner table that night, but it was just out of routine. You know? I don't think any of us really ate. When it was time for the broadcast to come on, we we all moved into the living room. Charles and I sat together on the love seat.
He'd been telling me he wasn't afraid. Every time I brought it up, he'd say, don't worry. I'm not gonna get drafted. But sitting there, I realized he'd only said that for my benefit. He was scared to death.
He kept bouncing his knee. That's always been his tell. He does it to this day when something's bothering him. I reached over and held his hand, rubbed his arm. I wasn't usually that touchy with him in front of his parents.
They still didn't know we were together. But in that moment, I didn't care. I didn't care about anything except whether or not that war was gonna take him from me.
ROZ: Gordon was back on tour. They had a few more engagements before they took time off for Christmas. It broke my heart thinking about him out there somewhere huddled by a radio waiting for his number to be called. I just hoped he had someone with him. And I was praying harder than I'd ever prayed in my life that he and my brother wouldn't get called right away.
The higher your number was the less likely you were to actually have to serve. People had been saying, if you ended up with a number over 125, you would be okay. So that's what I was praying for, numbers in the safe zone.
KAT: At the Levy house across the street, Joni was watching the broadcast too.
JONI: Three of my brothers were up for the draft. It felt like a given that at least one of them would have to go. You don't get that lucky three times in a row. Even my dad took the night off so we could all be together when the inevitable happened.
SYLVIA: When that broadcast came on, I think I stopped breathing.
KAT: Each birth date had been placed into a small blue capsule, 366 of them, including February 29 for leap year. The numbers were dumped into a transparent container, then congressman Alexander Perney was called forward to select the first date.
ROZ: September 14. September 14. Zero zero one.
SYLVIA: September 14. Charles' birthday was the first number called. I almost passed out. It felt like all the lights in the room dimmed for a few seconds.
CHARLES: The first number.
ROZ: Mama screamed. Daddy dropped his head, turned and walked out of the room. He walked right through the kitchen and out into the garage.
CHARLES: It happened so fast. We barely sat down and turned the television on and it was over for me. Just like that, I just remember holding on to Sylvia feeling like she was the only thing anchoring me.
ROZ: Charles stood up and Sylvia hugged him. She buried her face in his chest crying like he was already gone. He had his arms around her waist. The way they were holding each other was it was an intimacy, a familiarity to it. I noticed mama watching them so I put my arm around her said, let's go get us a cup of tea.
It was too late though. They were already on her radar. November 1. 11/01/2001.
JONI: My brother Carl was born November 1. He got number 19. Rick got number 37. Larry got two seventy five. He was the only one who was safe.
ROZ: 0454 team members. 01. September 1. September.
SYLVIA: Later that night, everyone was asleep and I was lying there wide awake, just watching the clock. I still had an hour until I was supposed to sneak out and meet Charles. I remember the moon was so bright. It lit up Raza's entire bedroom. She had this shelf in the corner with a few of her favorite dolls on it.
We were in that stage of our lives where you're not playing with the toys anymore, but there's a few sentimental ones that are still hanging around. I remember looking up at that shelf at all those dolls and it hit me in this strange way. The realization that we were never gonna play with those things again. I don't know why that moment felt significant to me, but it did. It felt like, you know when you leave some place for the last time.
Maybe it's a home you've lived in for years. You pack everything up and you move out all the boxes. And then before you go, you you take one last look at that empty house that you've called home for so long. Then you close the door and you just never come back. It felt like that.
We were at the end of an era, you know? We weren't kids anymore. It was such a turbulent time to be coming of age. Doctor King had been assassinated. Bobby Kennedy had been assassinated.
There were riots, racial tensions, war protests. There was so much hatred. Everything felt tense and unsettled. They've been broadcasting footage of the war on television. I laid there replaying scenes in my mind thinking of Charles being out there in the middle of it, and I couldn't take it.
I felt like I'd scream if I laid there another second. I went downstairs to the kitchen for a drink of water. I remember the moon illuminated the whole house. I didn't even have to turn on a light. Everything was cast in this soft glow.
The back door was cracked open and when I walked over to close it, I saw Charles standing on the back porch all by himself just staring off into the night.
CHARLES: I couldn't have slept that night if I wanted to. I had too much on my mind. The door creaked open and Sylvia stepped outside. She had a blanket draped around her shoulders. She came and stood beside me and she said, can't sleep?
SYLVIA: Charles was smoking a cigarette. I'd been on him to quit, but it felt like such an insignificant thing at that moment, I didn't mention it.
CHARLES: She said, this doesn't seem real.
SYLVIA: As we were standing there in the quiet of the night, I realized I'd been so wrapped up in how I felt about him believing that I hadn't considered how he was feeling. He had been so steady through it all. So brave. That was Charles, you know. I was passionate and emotional and impulsive.
He was logical and sensible. Nothing seemed to rattle him. But I knew he had to be feeling more that he was letting on so I said, talk to me.
CHARLES: I didn't want to seem weak. Men, we're taught to be brave. You understand? We're supposed to be strong. Of course, I was afraid.
Anyone who tells you they're not afraid to go fight a war is feeding you a bold faced lie. Yeah. I was scared, but I've been putting up a brave front for everybody because that's what you do. But Sylvia saw through all that. She told me to tell her what was on my mind.
She kept insisting, said it would make me feel better. She took my arm and led me over to the porch swing, and she sat down beside me real close. She covered us both with her blanket and laid her head on my shoulder. Once I started talking to her, I couldn't shut it off. It was like everything I'd been bottling up inside, I just got it all off my chest right there.
She let me talk until I didn't have anything left to say and I did feel better afterwards. It was so easy talking to her. It always has been.
SYLVIA: I looked up at him and my heart ached for him. He was too young to be going off fighting anybody's war. It was all just so infuriating to feel that helpless, to want so desperately to change a situation and be so completely powerless. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to tell him, you're gonna be okay.
You're gonna make it home. But I didn't know if that was even true. We had no way of knowing what the future held. We might only have a few weeks left together. And I didn't want to fill that time with empty words.
I wanted to give him something real, something that meant something, you know. I brushed my lips over his ear and whispered, take me for a drive.
CHARLES: I couldn't get the keys fast enough. She went into the house and got dressed while I got my car keys, quiet as a mouse. I put the car in neutral and we rolled it down the block before I started it up so we wouldn't wake my parents. It wasn't the first time we'd gone for a late night drive, so we had a good system down by then. We had this little spot down by the water, real secluded.
I kept a blanket in my trunk and sometimes we'd spread it out on the grass and lay down and look up at the stars. When it was cold, like it was that night, we'd just stay in the car, leave it running so we could stay warm.
SYLVIA: We pulled into our spot by the river and climbed into the back seat.
CHARLES: Now Sylvia and I, we did a lot of kissing, a lot of fooling around back then, but she'd always put on the brakes before she let me get too far. That night, she didn't.
SYLVIA: He kept asking, are you sure? Are you sure? And I told him I was. But it was like he had this struggle going on inside himself. I could see it.
I could see him wrestling with something. A few seconds later, he pushed me away and got out of the car.
CHARLES: I took off walking down by the river to cool off. I couldn't do that to her. Couldn't take advantage of her like that. She wanted to wait for marriage. That's what she had always told me.
I knew it was important to her and I knew if it wasn't for the fact that I was going to war, she wouldn't be going through with it. She came after me, asked what was wrong. I said, you don't have to do this because you feel sorry for me.
SYLVIA: This is what it came down to for me. I didn't know what the future held, but I knew I loved him. I knew I would always love him. And if something happened to him out there, if I if I never got to have him back with me, I at least wanted to live the rest of my life knowing that my first time had been with Charles. That was something nobody would ever be able to take away from me.
And that's what I told him. I said, would you let me have this with you, please?
CHARLES: We went back to the car and well, I don't guess I have to tell you the rest. It was one of the best nights of my life. Being with her like that, being that close. Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts? Do you ever feel that way about somebody?
You get this ache in the pit of your stomach. You feel like you just wanna stop time, drown out the whole world and protect this wonderful thing you found. But there's that ache deep inside because you know you can't do that. You gotta keep on living. And in this life, everything is fleeting no matter how hard you try to hold on to it.
All my life I felt invincible, but going off to war, leaving Sylvia Bond, it was the first time I truly understood how fragile all of this is, and it scared me to death.
SYLVIA: He took off his class ring and slipped it onto my finger. He said, I want you to have this. And when I get back, I'm a get you a real ring. That felt like hope to me. It felt like a promise I could hold on to.
CHARLES: Of course, the ring was too big for a finger, but it was the symbolism of it. You understand?
SYLVIA: I put the ring on my necklace to keep it safe and close to my heart. We stayed out most of the night making promises, making plans for the life we were gonna have together when he got back. We needed that. We needed a dream to hold on to together.
ROZ: I
SYLVIA: think it was around 4AM when we got back to the Richardson's. We got the engine just before we got to the house and rolled the car back into the drive. As we were pushing it in, I looked up at Claire and Roland's bedroom window and I could have sworn I saw the curtains move, Like someone had been watching us. My heart sank. I just knew we'd been caught.
The house was completely still when we got inside. Not a sound, but the grandfather clock ticking and Bishop snoring upstairs. Charles kissed me goodnight and we went to our rooms. At breakfast the next morning, I kept waiting for Claire to say something about it, but she never did. She acted perfectly normal.
ROZ: Sylvia told me on the way to school that she thought mama had seen her and Charles sneaking in. I'd been telling her they were doing too much, getting too comfortable with it. We had all told her they were playing with fire, but I really didn't think mama saw them. I said, if mama would have seen that, trust me, you'd know. Everybody on the block would have heard her fussing.
Sylvia said, yeah, you're probably right about that.
SYLVIA: After school, when we got back to the Richardson's, my mother was sitting at the kitchen table. She had two suitcases sitting in the floor beside her. It startled me. For one thing, she never came to the Richards' house. But mostly it startled me because she looked so sick.
She was thin and had dark circles under her eyes. It hadn't been that long since I'd seen her for her to have gone downhill so quickly. I said, mama, what's going on? She told me to go upstairs and pack my things because we were going back to Louisiana. I thought she was talking about a visit.
And I thought that was strange because we've been in Tennessee for ten years and we've never once gone back to visit anybody. I said, why are we going to Louisiana? She said, we're moving. We're going home. Tennessee was my home.
I barely even remember Louisiana. Claire was leaning against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed. I said, Claire, I can't move away. Can I just stay here? She said, I'm sorry, baby.
She squeezed my hand and looked away, looked out the window over the sink like she was trying to hold back the tears like she didn't want me to go either. None of it made sense. I grabbed Roz's arm and we headed upstairs to her bedroom. I needed her to help think of a way to get out of going. Mama called out to us as we walked away and said, hurry up.
Bishop Richardson is waiting to drive us to the bus station.
ROZ: Sylvia was holding on to me the whole way up the stairs like she might fall over if she let go. She kept saying, what do I do? What am I supposed to do? I didn't know what to tell her. Both of us were blindsided.
I told her, I'm gonna go find daddy. Sometimes I could get a little farther with him than I could with mama. So I went downstairs and I found him out in the garage checking the oil in the Buick.
CHARLES: When I got home, I walked into the kitchen and I could tell something was up. You could feel it. It was like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Sylvia's mother was there, suitcases beside her. I looked at mama, I said, what's happening?
She just shook her head. I could hear Roz talking out in the garage, so I went out there to see what I could find out. Soon as I opened the door, she turns to me, tears rolling down her face and says, Sylvia is moving to Louisiana.
ROZ: He said, where is she? I told him she was upstairs packing and he ran straight up to her. I knew Joni would be devastated if she didn't get to say goodbye, I ran across the street to get her. I'd already realized I was wasting my time talking to daddy. He told me if Sylvia's mama wanted to take her, we had to let her go.
CHARLES: Sylvia was in Roz's bedroom packing. When she saw me come in, she dropped what was in her hands and headed right for me. I wrapped my arms around her. I
SYLVIA: said, don't understand why this is happening. I could feel myself sort of like losing it, you know. I said, I'm supposed to leave. My whole life is here.
CHARLES: I was as upset as she was, but I knew one of us had to keep it together, so I took her face in my hands. I said, look at me. Look at me. Once I caught her eyes, she seemed to settle down. I said, it's just for a little while.
Two years will go by before you know it and as soon as I get back, I'm coming to get you. We'll get married just like we planned.
SYLVIA: That bolstered me somehow. The idea that the two of us were in this together. I thought, Charles is going overseas to fight a war. I'm just moving stage with my mother. It seems sort of minor when I compared my problem with what he was up against.
I said to myself, okay, we both got two hard years ahead of us but we're gonna get through it. And once it's over, we're gonna have our whole lives together. No more of this hiding from his parents sneaking around, everything's gonna work out.
CHARLES: One big tear rolled down her cheek and I wiped it away. I told her, baby, we got this. You and me. She nodded and I kissed her long and slow. The kind of kiss that's gotta get you through two years apart.
SYLVIA: I just kept holding on to him. I didn't know how to let him go. Two years seemed like an eternity.
CHARLES: Roz and Joni came bursting in and they rushed over to her.
JONI: I hugged Sylvia. Roz joined in and the three of us stood there for the longest time sobbing and holding on to each other. We were making plans to write each other every day and save our money for bus tickets so Sylvia could come visit. She said, it's okay. It's only two years.
Then Charles and I are getting married and I'm coming home and God, we just we had no idea. We had no idea what we were about to go through or how many years would go by before we'd all be together again.
CHARLES: I helped Sylvia carry her things downstairs, walked her out, and opened the car door for her.
SYLVIA: I said, promise me you're gonna be careful. I need you to come home to me. I got in the back seat, but before he could close the door, I stepped back out and kissed him. A real kiss. I didn't care who saw him.
What did it matter at this point? I said, I love you.
CHARLES: I love you too. She got in the car. Watching her leave, that ripped my heart out. That girl was everything to me. There wasn't a thing she could have done to change that.
I wish I'd said that to her. Maybe things would have turned out different if she'd known that.
SYLVIA: I was so indignant on that bus ride to Louisiana. I barely even looked at mama. I think the only thing I really said to her was when I asked if Jimmy was gonna be moving with us. If I was gonna have to live in a house with him, I needed to prepare mentally for that. She said, I left his ass.
And she closed her eyes and leaned her head back to go to sleep. I could see the bruises he left on her all around her neck. There were other bruises in various stages of healing scattered all over her body. And I thought, I thought, what kind of woman would a man beat up on her like that? I was ashamed of her.
I thought she was so weak, thought I had life all figured out, And I knew for certain I wasn't gonna be anything like her.
KAT: In Louisiana, Marie rented a house on the outskirts of New Orleans. The house wasn't much, but Sylvia says it was the nicest place she'd ever seen her mother live. Marie was able to furnish the whole home with nice furniture from the second hand store, and she even bought a used car to get back and forth to work. None of these were luxuries she'd had back in Tennessee.
SYLVIA: I was laying in bed one night in my own bed, in my own bedroom. It was the first time in my life I'd ever had a room of my own. And I started thinking, how do we get all this? Mama was working, yeah, but she hadn't been working long enough to afford all that. And I knew she couldn't have had any money saved up.
Jimmy drank every dollar they brought in or gambled it away. And so I asked mama the next day, we were in the car headed somewhere and I said, mama, how do we get the money for all this? She said, I've been working. I said, yeah, but you haven't made enough to afford all this stuff we got. How we get this car?
She sat there for a while looking straight ahead waiting on the traffic light to change. Finally, she said, I got a little help from the Richardons. Then she turned on the radio to let me know she was through talking about it. And you won't believe the song that was playing.
ROZ: I had borrowed daddy's car and Joni and I were out running around. It was a nice day and, you know, we had the radio up cruising along. All of a sudden, the DJ came on talking about a new song flying up the charts by Roz Richardson.
JONI: A new song by Roz Richardson. No mention of the rest of us.
ROZ: I about ran off the road.
JONI: Gordon had taken the rest of us off the song, replaced us with generic background singers. Roz looked at me wide eyed. I could tell she was as shocked as I was.
ROZ: I'm telling you, I whipped that car around and headed straight for the studio. I knew that's where he'd be. I walked right in there, interrupted him in the middle of a session. I said, what did you do? Oh, he was proud of himself.
He was grinning like a Cheshire cat. He said, did you hear it on the radio? I told you we had us a hit.
JONI: She said, you took the girls off the track. He looked right at me standing over her shoulder and said to her, I told you you don't need them. And, of course, that made me mad, but at the same time, he was right, and I knew he was right.
ROZ: He said, baby, we gotta ride this wave. He told me he knew some guys out in California who wanted to work with us on a whole record. Said he wanted me to go out there with him right away. And part of me wanted to do it. But then I looked at Joni and I thought, what about her?
Elle and Sylvia were gone. If I left, she'd be all alone. And I knew how excited she'd been when we recorded the song. She was probably more excited than any of us, to tell you the truth. It didn't feel right.
Cutting her out like that and leaving her behind.
JONI: Roz was a star. She always had been. She was the only one who hadn't recognized it. And singing, well, it had been one thing when it was the four of us together. That was a good time.
But with Elle and Sylvia gone, it didn't make sense for me to be hanging on anymore. I didn't have the talent Roz had. I knew that. Gordon knew it. One thing life's taught me, you'll be a lot happier if you learn to let go when something's run its course.
The divine darlings had run its course. I told Roz, don't worry about me. This is your moment. Go chase your dream.
ROZ: Mama had a fit when I told her. I don't think I'd ever seen her so upset. She was mad because I had a secular song on the radio, but what really got her was the fact that I was gonna leave town with a man I wasn't married to. Gordon pulled up outside the house about 07:00 that night. I grabbed my suitcases and kissed mama and daddy goodbye.
Mama said, if you walk out that door, don't you ever come back. I heard daddy whisper, Claire, you don't mean that. She said, I mean it Rosalyn. If you walk out of here, you're no daughter of mine.
KAT: No Daughter of Mine would become Roz's first number one single later that same year.
ROZ: Oh, I hated leaving things that way, but I had to go. I knew it. Knew it in my spirit, this was my chance. So I said, well, I hope one day you'll change your mind about that. And I walked out the
SYLVIA: door. And
JONI: then it was just me. Everyone else had moved on, and there I was. I still remember that feeling, that sinking left behind feeling. Ever since I was seven years old, it had been the four of us. We were a unit.
You know what I mean? But now I had to find something else to fill my time. That's when I started hanging out at the garage with Russ Callahan.
ROZ: Gotta find out where the sunshine's gone.
CREDITS: Higher Grounds is a Yellowbird media production written and produced by Kimberly Conway. Sylvia is voiced by Laura Jane Jones.
CHARLES: I'm going
CREDITS: Joni by Cynthia Ergenbright. Roz by Janice Lynn Sykes. Elle by Katie Yoder. Charles by Gervais Weeks. Cat by Kimberly Conway.
Opening and closing narration by Roshani Lemaino. Sound design and mixing by Yellowbird Media. Mixing and mastering by Rick Such. The theme song, Everything Changes by Laura Jane Jones, is available now on Apple Music and Spotify. Shows like Higher Grounds are made possible by the support of listeners like you.
If you've enjoyed the show, we'd be so grateful if you could take a moment to rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform. Stay connected with Higher Grounds and be the first to know about upcoming Yellowbird productions by following us on social media and signing up for our newsletter at www.yellowbird.com. Higher Grounds is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is purely coincidental.
This podcast is intended for entertainment purposes only.