WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:22.260 Hi, and welcome to the Willow Ridge Church weekly podcast. 00:00:22.760 --> 00:00:25.880 This is where you can find audio for our current and past sermons. 00:00:26.080 --> 00:00:30.420 We hope that you enjoy this week's installment, and be sure to check back next week to hear 00:00:30.420 --> 00:00:31.260 the latest message. 00:00:31.680 --> 00:00:32.460 Thanks for listening. 00:00:45.940 --> 00:00:47.280 We'll go ahead and jump in. 00:00:47.340 --> 00:00:51.760 James chapter 4, I'm going to start in verse 1, read 1 through 12. 00:00:52.640 --> 00:00:57.480 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? 00:00:58.380 --> 00:01:02.140 Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 00:01:02.860 --> 00:01:05.400 You desire and do not have, so you murder. 00:01:06.080 --> 00:01:09.860 You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. 00:01:10.640 --> 00:01:13.020 You do not have because you do not ask. 00:01:13.620 --> 00:01:18.840 You ask and you do not receive because you ask wrongly to spend it on your passions. 00:01:19.340 --> 00:01:25.660 You adulterous people, do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? 00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:30.500 Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 00:01:30.720 --> 00:01:35.500 Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the scripture says, 00:01:36.040 --> 00:01:44.700 He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us, but he gives more grace. 00:01:45.500 --> 00:01:49.640 Therefore, it said, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. 00:01:50.520 --> 00:01:53.340 Submit yourselves, therefore, to the Lord. 00:01:54.260 --> 00:01:56.840 Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 00:01:57.660 --> 00:02:00.340 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. 00:02:00.700 --> 00:02:04.980 Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 00:02:05.540 --> 00:02:07.880 Be wretched, and mourn, and weep. 00:02:08.280 --> 00:02:12.880 Let your laughter be turned into mourning, and your joy to gloom. 00:02:13.620 --> 00:02:16.720 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. 00:02:17.320 --> 00:02:19.980 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. 00:02:20.120 --> 00:02:27.060 The one who speaks against a brother, or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law, and judges the law. 00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:32.180 But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge. 00:02:32.800 --> 00:02:38.920 There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. 00:02:39.600 --> 00:02:43.480 But who are you to judge your neighbor? 00:02:43.980 --> 00:02:52.560 Well, James, as he's been doing, right, every single week it feels like, starts off with a punch to the face. 00:02:54.440 --> 00:02:59.540 And so what you and I are going to kind of walk through in God's word this morning, 00:02:59.780 --> 00:03:04.740 it is trying to answer this question that I'm going to propose before you, 00:03:04.960 --> 00:03:07.160 which is going to be our first point, which is this. 00:03:07.660 --> 00:03:11.580 The issue at hand, or the issue of the heart. 00:03:12.660 --> 00:03:16.900 The issue at hand, or the issue of the heart. 00:03:17.940 --> 00:03:21.560 Now here's what you just self-reflected for a moment. 00:03:22.820 --> 00:03:32.860 Think about all of the fights, arguments, disagreements you've had recently. 00:03:33.660 --> 00:03:34.840 What do I mean by recently? 00:03:35.100 --> 00:03:36.900 You define that, right? 00:03:36.900 --> 00:03:40.260 It could have been this morning, it could have been this week, it could have been this month. 00:03:40.640 --> 00:03:48.040 I want you to think about all the areas of conflict that you've been in with someone else, 00:03:48.280 --> 00:03:52.180 and then ask yourself this question, what caused them? 00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:56.560 James asks that question, and then answers it. 00:03:57.020 --> 00:04:01.640 What causes quarrels, and what causes fights amongst you, he says in verse 1? 00:04:02.600 --> 00:04:06.520 Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 00:04:06.900 --> 00:04:11.680 Now, here's where I've kind of been struggling with this a little bit. 00:04:12.780 --> 00:04:15.580 When I read the question, right? 00:04:15.860 --> 00:04:19.420 And I've got to be honest about me, if you're going to be honest about you, 00:04:19.460 --> 00:04:21.040 and we're going to be honest about each other, right? 00:04:21.340 --> 00:04:25.400 So if I just read the question, what causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? 00:04:25.400 --> 00:04:37.320 I've got a long list of people, of situations, of things in my life that I'm like, 00:04:37.380 --> 00:04:44.280 if they would do something differently, then I wouldn't have these quarrels and fights, right? 00:04:45.660 --> 00:04:50.440 I think of all the topics that come to mind. 00:04:50.840 --> 00:04:52.040 So here's what I did this week. 00:04:53.020 --> 00:04:56.780 I spent probably way too much time doing this, but I took some time doing this. 00:04:57.140 --> 00:05:10.020 And I looked at six different relational settings and researched what commonly causes most of the conflict and fights within these. 00:05:10.860 --> 00:05:13.780 Now, I'm going to start personal and go out from there. 00:05:13.780 --> 00:05:15.920 So let me pull out my cell phone real quick. 00:05:17.200 --> 00:05:19.480 I sent a text message to my family. 00:05:20.900 --> 00:05:24.440 I know, there's that uncomfortable laughter of like, what is he going to do? 00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:24.800 All right. 00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:30.760 So I sent out this text message on Wednesday to my family. 00:05:31.300 --> 00:05:32.520 I'm going to read the dialogue. 00:05:34.440 --> 00:05:36.320 Here's a question for our family. 00:05:37.320 --> 00:05:44.120 What are the top three things that I do that drives you crazy, makes you mad? 00:05:45.840 --> 00:05:50.220 FYI, I will share these answers in my message on Sunday. 00:05:53.520 --> 00:05:55.420 Very quickly, my daughter replied. 00:05:57.100 --> 00:05:58.560 And she numbered them. 00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:02.860 Like, number one. 00:06:03.340 --> 00:06:04.200 Let me say this. 00:06:04.280 --> 00:06:06.800 I do all of the things they're about to accuse me of doing. 00:06:07.020 --> 00:06:07.200 All right. 00:06:07.300 --> 00:06:07.920 Number one. 00:06:09.360 --> 00:06:14.000 You sing and dance around in the grocery store. 00:06:14.400 --> 00:06:15.380 100% true. 00:06:15.800 --> 00:06:16.720 100% true. 00:06:17.020 --> 00:06:17.900 Do it all the time. 00:06:18.020 --> 00:06:20.280 If they're playing music, I'll join along. 00:06:20.380 --> 00:06:25.200 If they're not, I'll just insert typically from 80s and 90s music. 00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:25.520 Right? 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:26.660 Number two. 00:06:28.480 --> 00:06:34.480 You take all my good candy that I get on Halloween, my birthday, and Christmas. 00:06:34.880 --> 00:06:36.160 Sweetie, you forgot Easter. 00:06:36.440 --> 00:06:36.640 Right? 00:06:36.860 --> 00:06:37.100 True. 00:06:37.980 --> 00:06:38.340 True. 00:06:38.420 --> 00:06:38.880 I do that. 00:06:39.340 --> 00:06:40.520 We call it dad tax. 00:06:40.760 --> 00:06:40.980 All right? 00:06:42.240 --> 00:06:44.100 And tax has increased recently. 00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:44.920 We know that. 00:06:45.380 --> 00:06:48.240 And so I just reflect that in our home. 00:06:48.740 --> 00:06:49.020 All right? 00:06:49.740 --> 00:06:50.460 Number three. 00:06:51.840 --> 00:06:57.060 You will sometimes sing to wake me up in the morning, but you used to do that to me all the 00:06:57.060 --> 00:06:59.400 time when I was little, but not so much anymore. 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:00.920 I'm growing and improving. 00:07:01.040 --> 00:07:01.280 All right? 00:07:01.940 --> 00:07:03.960 And I responded graciously, thank you. 00:07:04.500 --> 00:07:04.740 All right? 00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:08.040 Then, my son responds. 00:07:09.480 --> 00:07:13.600 He says, it's really just the Halloween candy thing. 00:07:16.680 --> 00:07:18.920 I responded with, I need two more. 00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:20.600 Nothing. 00:07:21.500 --> 00:07:22.860 So I pose a question. 00:07:23.700 --> 00:07:26.740 So basically, Grayson thinks that I'm a great dad. 00:07:27.640 --> 00:07:29.700 He responds, yeah, nothing really. 00:07:30.580 --> 00:07:32.440 I said, I'll make sure to mention that. 00:07:33.700 --> 00:07:37.420 Emma responded, no, I love you, dad, heart emoji. 00:07:37.680 --> 00:07:37.920 All right? 00:07:38.360 --> 00:07:39.540 That's my kids. 00:07:39.640 --> 00:07:42.160 Now, I sent that to my entire family. 00:07:44.980 --> 00:07:46.560 My wife never responded. 00:07:49.060 --> 00:07:52.020 So this morning, I caused conflict in my marriage. 00:07:52.740 --> 00:07:53.640 I called her. 00:07:54.220 --> 00:07:58.620 And I said, I need you to give me your three answers. 00:07:59.500 --> 00:08:02.580 And she responded, no, please don't make me do that. 00:08:02.660 --> 00:08:02.980 Please. 00:08:03.700 --> 00:08:04.880 And I said, no, no, I can take it. 00:08:04.920 --> 00:08:05.460 I can take it. 00:08:05.500 --> 00:08:07.580 Whatever you share, you know that I'm going to share. 00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:09.360 And I can take it. 00:08:09.400 --> 00:08:10.880 And she said, but I don't want to do that. 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:16.180 And after about 15 minutes of me doing the things she doesn't want me to do, I finally 00:08:16.180 --> 00:08:21.420 got her to give me the top three things that I do in the Bradbury marriage to cause conflict. 00:08:21.420 --> 00:08:28.260 Number one, I have been known to take a joke too far. 00:08:31.380 --> 00:08:39.380 Number two, I have an inability to accurately estimate how long it will take me to finish 00:08:39.380 --> 00:08:40.040 a project. 00:08:42.660 --> 00:08:43.340 Right? 00:08:45.420 --> 00:08:48.900 Number three, it's personal, personal. 00:08:50.440 --> 00:08:58.720 I've been known to put rolls of toilet paper on the floor in the bathroom and not on the dispenser. 00:08:59.140 --> 00:09:03.660 And I found out this morning the level of anger that that brings to my wife. 00:09:04.420 --> 00:09:06.740 And I will no longer do that. 00:09:06.940 --> 00:09:07.120 All right? 00:09:07.840 --> 00:09:09.580 So there's the Bradburys. 00:09:10.740 --> 00:09:16.780 Now, what I didn't tell them is I'm going to share with you the top three things from each 00:09:16.780 --> 00:09:19.260 one of them that make me mad. 00:09:19.560 --> 00:09:20.320 I'm just kidding. 00:09:20.400 --> 00:09:20.880 I'm just kidding. 00:09:20.900 --> 00:09:21.660 I'm not going to do that. 00:09:21.920 --> 00:09:22.760 I'm not going to do that. 00:09:23.060 --> 00:09:25.580 The look on Aaron's face, I wasn't going to do it. 00:09:25.700 --> 00:09:29.680 And then I saw the look, and I'm sorry that I even said that, okay? 00:09:32.160 --> 00:09:32.720 Yeah, yeah. 00:09:32.760 --> 00:09:35.900 I'm going to, I'm going to, yeah, I'm going to pray for me. 00:09:35.940 --> 00:09:36.100 All right. 00:09:36.180 --> 00:09:36.420 All right. 00:09:36.420 --> 00:09:39.920 So here's just more general, not Bradbury. 00:09:40.040 --> 00:09:40.760 Here's more general. 00:09:40.980 --> 00:09:44.920 And I thought about calling some of your spouses and families and just getting you off guard, 00:09:45.020 --> 00:09:45.780 but decided not to. 00:09:46.060 --> 00:09:46.320 All right. 00:09:46.400 --> 00:09:48.320 So five more areas just in general. 00:09:48.940 --> 00:09:51.980 Common, the most common causes of conflict in marriage. 00:09:52.980 --> 00:09:53.760 I thought this was interesting. 00:09:53.860 --> 00:09:56.160 Number one, can you guess what it is? 00:09:56.620 --> 00:09:57.020 Money. 00:09:57.220 --> 00:09:58.100 Money, number one. 00:09:58.840 --> 00:10:00.160 Number two, sex. 00:10:01.220 --> 00:10:02.500 Number three, parenting. 00:10:03.760 --> 00:10:07.200 Number four, housework and chores. 00:10:07.940 --> 00:10:08.240 All right. 00:10:08.460 --> 00:10:11.480 We all know who's dropping the ball in that one, right? 00:10:12.480 --> 00:10:15.600 Number two, another relational dynamic. 00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:18.620 Causes of conflict in families. 00:10:19.340 --> 00:10:23.940 So move outside of even when we go through these, not necessarily the family that lives 00:10:23.940 --> 00:10:26.600 in your home, but family even outside of that. 00:10:26.940 --> 00:10:32.120 So siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, all of that. 00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:34.680 Common causes of conflict in families. 00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:36.100 Number one, money. 00:10:37.580 --> 00:10:41.300 Number two, family, businesses, and jobs. 00:10:42.580 --> 00:10:45.820 Number three, I thought, honestly, I love mine. 00:10:45.920 --> 00:10:48.460 I thought this would be number one, in-laws, right? 00:10:49.400 --> 00:10:52.440 Number four, family events. 00:10:53.060 --> 00:10:55.960 Write yes and amen as it all approaches. 00:10:57.360 --> 00:11:02.440 Number five, sibling conflict over elderly parents. 00:11:03.280 --> 00:11:05.420 I know a lot of you are going through that. 00:11:06.540 --> 00:11:11.500 Number six, step-parent and step-child conflict. 00:11:12.860 --> 00:11:19.520 Number seven, divorced-parent conflict over discipline of children. 00:11:20.580 --> 00:11:22.560 Most common causes of conflict in families. 00:11:23.540 --> 00:11:24.560 Moving out a little farther. 00:11:25.740 --> 00:11:27.500 Causes of conflict at work. 00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:34.600 Number one, and this is from the employee's perspective, okay? 00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:36.820 Number one, poor management. 00:11:37.920 --> 00:11:41.220 Number two, unfair treatment. 00:11:42.560 --> 00:11:46.920 Number three, unclear job responsibilities. 00:11:48.280 --> 00:11:52.040 Number four, inadequate training. 00:11:53.040 --> 00:11:55.680 And number five, poor communication. 00:11:56.560 --> 00:12:00.140 So, you see how this, hopefully, you're kind of resonating with some of these, right? 00:12:00.220 --> 00:12:03.880 Like, you've been there and you feel underappreciated. 00:12:04.240 --> 00:12:07.360 You feel that others are valued more than you. 00:12:07.560 --> 00:12:12.640 You feel that you have a job, but you're not being equipped to do the things in the job, right? 00:12:12.920 --> 00:12:14.200 Causes of conflict at work. 00:12:14.360 --> 00:12:14.600 Next. 00:12:15.880 --> 00:12:19.160 Causes of conflict amongst neighbors. 00:12:20.380 --> 00:12:21.200 Interesting one. 00:12:21.200 --> 00:12:24.140 Number one, noise. 00:12:25.640 --> 00:12:27.680 Number two, parking. 00:12:29.300 --> 00:12:31.540 Number three, kids. 00:12:32.180 --> 00:12:32.360 Right? 00:12:32.800 --> 00:12:34.080 Get out of my yard, kids. 00:12:34.180 --> 00:12:34.240 Right? 00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:34.640 There you go. 00:12:35.520 --> 00:12:37.380 Number four, pets. 00:12:38.360 --> 00:12:41.640 And specifically, where pets go to the bathroom, is what the survey said. 00:12:42.760 --> 00:12:45.900 And then number five, damage to property. 00:12:46.580 --> 00:12:47.060 Damage to property. 00:12:47.140 --> 00:12:48.140 So, think about your neighborhood. 00:12:48.600 --> 00:12:50.700 If you live in a neighborhood, right? 00:12:51.500 --> 00:12:55.620 Neighborhood Facebook page was not listed because I think that's the avenue of the conflict, right? 00:12:55.740 --> 00:12:57.000 If you've got one of those. 00:12:57.940 --> 00:12:59.080 But you see that. 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:00.420 And then the last one. 00:13:00.700 --> 00:13:03.660 Now, I find this hard to believe, but I could not find it. 00:13:03.680 --> 00:13:06.160 I spent way too much time, like I said, looking for these. 00:13:06.420 --> 00:13:13.660 But the question that I asked was, what topics are argued about the most over social media? 00:13:15.600 --> 00:13:19.160 So, I couldn't find an answer to that. 00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:28.720 So, I went to my Facebook page and Twitter page and just said, I'm going to watch and see and dig in a little bit. 00:13:28.980 --> 00:13:30.060 And I'm going to go look. 00:13:30.160 --> 00:13:35.140 I'm going to go down the dark rabbit hole over conflict, all right? 00:13:35.940 --> 00:13:38.240 And I noticed four things. 00:13:38.520 --> 00:13:41.240 And these aren't in order as the other ones were. 00:13:42.160 --> 00:13:46.200 First thing that I noticed was politics, right? 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:48.900 Politics were commonly argued about. 00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:53.140 Number two, religion and faith. 00:13:53.800 --> 00:13:57.820 Even amongst those who claim the same faith or same religion. 00:13:58.900 --> 00:14:04.740 Number three, and just pastoral counseling moment for us all. 00:14:05.780 --> 00:14:10.120 Don't air your family issues on social media. 00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:13.600 Bad spot, but that's what we see and what we notice, right? 00:14:14.700 --> 00:14:17.900 And then number four, and this one's tough. 00:14:19.360 --> 00:14:25.300 I've seen this destroy friendships, marriages, divide churches. 00:14:26.300 --> 00:14:29.580 Most controversial topic that I found. 00:14:30.840 --> 00:14:33.120 College football, right? 00:14:33.780 --> 00:14:38.540 And for those of you who don't care, congratulations, right? 00:14:39.820 --> 00:14:45.540 So, after all of this time, here's the conclusion that I've come to. 00:14:46.540 --> 00:14:50.620 We can fight over anything, and we do. 00:14:51.900 --> 00:14:55.780 We can fight over anything, and we do. 00:14:55.780 --> 00:15:08.880 I read a social media post where someone just said, I like this restaurant, and someone else said, you're an idiot. 00:15:10.980 --> 00:15:14.980 It's a restaurant. 00:15:14.980 --> 00:15:20.880 There's all sorts of topics that we can fight about, and we do. 00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:24.500 Did you notice the only topic that repeated itself? 00:15:25.240 --> 00:15:25.660 Money. 00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:27.720 That was it. 00:15:27.720 --> 00:15:27.760 That was it. 00:15:28.940 --> 00:15:30.460 The only topic. 00:15:31.680 --> 00:15:39.980 So, every setting that we walk into is a new setting for us to get a bunch of new topics that we're mad about. 00:15:41.280 --> 00:15:44.700 And then move to this setting and get mad about this one. 00:15:44.840 --> 00:15:48.700 And then move to this setting and get mad about this one. 00:15:48.840 --> 00:15:51.480 So, here's what I'm convinced of. 00:15:52.480 --> 00:16:01.180 If everyone in the world agreed on politics, we'd find something new to yell at each other about. 00:16:01.660 --> 00:16:02.260 Right? 00:16:03.260 --> 00:16:06.680 This is the journey of what we see. 00:16:07.940 --> 00:16:11.860 And so, the topics of conflict, they change. 00:16:13.400 --> 00:16:21.300 But what doesn't change, what continues to be the common theme, is the matters of the heart. 00:16:22.560 --> 00:16:24.720 And this is what James wants us to address. 00:16:25.880 --> 00:16:31.480 So, he says, what causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? 00:16:31.640 --> 00:16:32.940 He's talking to the church. 00:16:35.440 --> 00:16:38.620 Among you guys, what causes this? 00:16:39.180 --> 00:16:50.140 And he says, they come from your passions, your desires, that are at war within you. 00:16:51.700 --> 00:16:53.740 And this isn't the good passions. 00:16:55.200 --> 00:17:00.620 This isn't people fighting over which unreached people group should we go engage with. 00:17:01.640 --> 00:17:04.540 The word passions is where we get the word hedonism from. 00:17:05.660 --> 00:17:11.300 And so, the very fleshly desires of you are where these come from. 00:17:12.260 --> 00:17:16.460 So, it's not the matter at hand. 00:17:17.880 --> 00:17:19.080 It's the matter of the heart. 00:17:20.520 --> 00:17:22.220 It's not going to be just this. 00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:26.820 It's not just going to be this one thing. 00:17:28.660 --> 00:17:36.480 Because if we solve that, but we don't solve the heart, then we just find a new topic. 00:17:37.800 --> 00:17:37.980 Right? 00:17:39.120 --> 00:17:42.580 Let's take the silliness, I think silliness, of the whole candy thing, right? 00:17:43.240 --> 00:17:44.940 Like, well, that's my selfishness. 00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:45.440 You got it. 00:17:45.480 --> 00:17:46.180 I want it. 00:17:46.280 --> 00:17:48.300 We're going to see that in just a second, too. 00:17:48.460 --> 00:17:52.060 So, if I say that I'm not going to do that, but I don't address my selfishness, right? 00:17:52.080 --> 00:17:53.600 Then I'm just going to find it from somewhere else. 00:17:55.300 --> 00:17:56.380 Because it's not the candy. 00:17:57.720 --> 00:18:00.360 It's the selfishness of the heart. 00:18:01.620 --> 00:18:07.120 So, James continues, and he talks about the darkness of the sinful heart. 00:18:07.420 --> 00:18:10.140 Remember, these are believers he's talking to. 00:18:11.040 --> 00:18:12.240 Look at verses 2 through 4. 00:18:13.900 --> 00:18:19.060 You desire and do not have, so you murder. 00:18:20.660 --> 00:18:25.520 You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. 00:18:26.680 --> 00:18:29.760 You do not have because you do not ask. 00:18:30.340 --> 00:18:40.900 You ask and do not receive because you ask wrongly to spend it on your sinful, hedonistic passions. 00:18:42.420 --> 00:18:44.500 You adulterous people. 00:18:44.500 --> 00:18:50.160 Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? 00:18:51.580 --> 00:19:00.060 Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:04.540 So, here's what I find happens in conflict. 00:19:05.260 --> 00:19:08.280 Here's what I find happens in fights. 00:19:08.280 --> 00:19:13.720 That people want to look at them and ask the question, what has been done? 00:19:14.860 --> 00:19:16.540 What have I done? 00:19:17.580 --> 00:19:19.860 What is this offense that is there? 00:19:20.180 --> 00:19:26.320 And yes, when you have conflict in relationships, you have to address the behaviors. 00:19:26.600 --> 00:19:29.020 We're going to see that even more later on. 00:19:29.180 --> 00:19:30.640 You have to address the behaviors. 00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:32.640 We can't just forget those away. 00:19:33.500 --> 00:19:44.180 But most importantly, and this is what we're going to see from Jesus, that the actions can't simply be the standard, but the action has to be, what does your heart desire? 00:19:46.300 --> 00:19:56.440 I apologize, I don't have these on the screen for you this morning, but in Matthew 5 is one of the areas where Jesus addresses this very early on in the Sermon on the Mount. 00:19:56.440 --> 00:19:59.880 In Matthew 5, 21 and 22, let me read this to you. 00:20:00.220 --> 00:20:00.760 Jesus says, 00:20:00.840 --> 00:20:09.300 You have heard that it was said of those of old, you shall not murder, and whoever murders will be liable to judgment. 00:20:09.760 --> 00:20:18.240 But I, being Jesus, say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment. 00:20:18.620 --> 00:20:22.280 Whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council. 00:20:22.280 --> 00:20:27.540 And whoever says, you fool, will be liable to the hell of fire. 00:20:29.220 --> 00:20:30.300 And so Jesus says, 00:20:31.120 --> 00:20:32.220 Oh, you didn't kill him? 00:20:33.260 --> 00:20:35.060 But your heart's wicked? 00:20:38.380 --> 00:20:42.260 Well, you're guilty. 00:20:44.460 --> 00:20:47.380 Matthew 5, 27 and 28, he continues on. 00:20:48.460 --> 00:20:52.480 You have heard that it was said, you shall not commit adultery. 00:20:53.360 --> 00:21:02.160 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:05.620 But Jesus, I didn't. 00:21:06.700 --> 00:21:07.540 But you did. 00:21:08.680 --> 00:21:09.440 But you did. 00:21:10.440 --> 00:21:13.960 And James continues on with this. 00:21:15.160 --> 00:21:15.820 And he says, 00:21:16.140 --> 00:21:17.380 You do not have. 00:21:17.700 --> 00:21:18.660 So you murder. 00:21:18.980 --> 00:21:20.740 You slander with your words. 00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:27.000 A thousand cuts over and over and over again. 00:21:28.080 --> 00:21:30.540 I might not kill your body, but I kill your character. 00:21:32.780 --> 00:21:34.240 James continues on. 00:21:34.320 --> 00:21:34.620 And he says, 00:21:34.760 --> 00:21:35.960 So you covet. 00:21:37.160 --> 00:21:39.560 So you lust after. 00:21:39.920 --> 00:21:41.220 It becomes the pursuit. 00:21:41.620 --> 00:21:48.500 And then James, in three words, in chapter 4, verse 4, he brings it down to who we are. 00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:50.400 Then James addresses the issue. 00:21:50.680 --> 00:21:51.260 And he says, 00:21:51.620 --> 00:21:54.100 You adulterous people. 00:21:55.260 --> 00:21:55.900 He doesn't say, 00:21:56.100 --> 00:21:57.000 You sinful people. 00:21:57.180 --> 00:21:58.700 He takes it a step beyond that. 00:21:58.920 --> 00:22:02.320 And he defines the condition of our heart. 00:22:02.760 --> 00:22:05.180 You adulterous people. 00:22:05.620 --> 00:22:15.460 Now, adultery in our relationship, we have to understand the proper relationship that we view ourselves with God in our relationship with him. 00:22:15.460 --> 00:22:17.940 We are the children of God the Father. 00:22:18.260 --> 00:22:29.200 But in that defining of the relationship that is different than any other relationship that we have, God views our relationship with him as a marriage. 00:22:29.300 --> 00:22:31.900 Which means there's a covenant and there's a commitment. 00:22:34.120 --> 00:22:35.920 Let's understand this. 00:22:36.180 --> 00:22:41.140 In spite of what you feel, in spite of what you're going through, God has never broken. 00:22:41.140 --> 00:22:45.000 God has never violated his covenant and his commitment to you or me. 00:22:45.460 --> 00:22:46.820 Not one time. 00:22:48.260 --> 00:22:51.560 I don't care at the greatest pit of suffering you've been in. 00:22:51.800 --> 00:22:54.700 God has never violated that with you. 00:22:54.940 --> 00:22:55.920 He upholds it. 00:22:57.200 --> 00:22:58.620 The problem is not him. 00:22:59.540 --> 00:23:00.840 The problem is us. 00:23:02.580 --> 00:23:07.960 And we don't view our relationship with God in the same way. 00:23:09.580 --> 00:23:12.380 And instead, here's how we view the relationship. 00:23:14.500 --> 00:23:16.260 I'm committed to you, Lord. 00:23:18.260 --> 00:23:20.720 But there's times that I want my freedom. 00:23:22.780 --> 00:23:25.600 There's times that I want to step out of the relationship. 00:23:27.080 --> 00:23:29.180 Now, I want the benefits. 00:23:30.720 --> 00:23:34.240 I want the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. 00:23:35.240 --> 00:23:40.040 I want joy in the deepest, darkest circumstances of my life. 00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:45.040 I want to live in and experience the joy of forgiveness and grace. 00:23:45.520 --> 00:23:49.460 But, there's times where I want my freedom. 00:23:49.680 --> 00:24:00.080 And if we were to describe a husband and wife relationship in that context, we would all agree that's not a marriage. 00:24:00.280 --> 00:24:01.680 That's an abusive relationship. 00:24:03.040 --> 00:24:04.780 And yet, that's what we bring to the Lord. 00:24:06.200 --> 00:24:07.880 He's like, nah, I'm committed. 00:24:08.100 --> 00:24:08.880 I got covenant. 00:24:09.120 --> 00:24:09.720 I'm here. 00:24:09.940 --> 00:24:10.560 You're mine. 00:24:10.760 --> 00:24:11.420 I'm yours. 00:24:11.560 --> 00:24:13.300 And we're like, yep, that's good for me. 00:24:13.500 --> 00:24:14.560 Oh, but there's this time. 00:24:14.740 --> 00:24:16.200 So, let me just step out over here. 00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:23.820 James says, you adulterous people. 00:24:25.380 --> 00:24:28.440 James says, our relationship, there's two options. 00:24:29.480 --> 00:24:34.200 He says, you're either a friend of the world, which means you're an enemy of God, 00:24:34.960 --> 00:24:40.460 or you're a friend of God, which means you're an enemy of the world. 00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:44.660 James says, then you've got to figure this out. 00:24:46.020 --> 00:24:48.120 You've got to walk through this with who you are. 00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:54.920 And then he paints a picture in verse 5 of God's heart for us. 00:24:55.760 --> 00:24:57.040 God's heart for us. 00:24:57.100 --> 00:24:57.660 Look at verse 5. 00:24:59.880 --> 00:25:14.560 Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says he yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us? 00:25:14.560 --> 00:25:22.480 And so, what James does here is he gives us some Old Testament imagery of the jealousy of God. 00:25:24.140 --> 00:25:38.760 And he says, when we're adulterous toward him, when this is who we are, pursuing the desires, the sinful desires of the passions of our flesh, 00:25:39.620 --> 00:25:47.000 he yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us. 00:25:47.660 --> 00:25:49.240 And he wants us to come home. 00:25:51.180 --> 00:25:56.620 In the Ten Commandments, Exodus 20 verse 4, again, I apologize for not having it on the screen for you. 00:25:57.620 --> 00:26:05.380 He says, you shall not make for yourself a carved image or any likeness of anything that is heaven above or that is in the earth beneath, 00:26:05.600 --> 00:26:07.620 or that is in the water under the earth. 00:26:07.740 --> 00:26:10.500 You shall not bow down to them or serve them. 00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:14.040 For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God. 00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:22.240 Visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me. 00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:32.300 But showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and who keep my commandments. 00:26:33.640 --> 00:26:35.860 And so, God is jealous for you. 00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:39.340 He's jealous for you. 00:26:40.560 --> 00:26:47.100 When we think of jealous, we think of those moments of pettiness, right? 00:26:48.020 --> 00:26:50.780 Where our neighbor gets the car that we wish we had. 00:26:52.300 --> 00:26:53.540 That's not God. 00:26:54.920 --> 00:26:56.700 That's not what he's talking about. 00:26:58.040 --> 00:27:00.480 What we see is God is jealous. 00:27:00.800 --> 00:27:07.240 Like a faithful, committed spouse is jealous when their spouse wanders in their marriage. 00:27:08.660 --> 00:27:14.020 And his devotion to us is as those who come to pursue them in their marriage. 00:27:14.260 --> 00:27:16.600 This is God's heart for us. 00:27:17.520 --> 00:27:21.440 And so, when God, in his covenant, when God, in his commitment, 00:27:21.740 --> 00:27:23.520 when God, in his love for us, 00:27:23.520 --> 00:27:27.080 and he sees us, say, no, I want the benefits of you, 00:27:27.220 --> 00:27:29.340 but I want the freedoms of over here. 00:27:29.500 --> 00:27:33.040 His heart is jealous for us to return to him 00:27:33.040 --> 00:27:36.520 because we are his and he is ours. 00:27:36.760 --> 00:27:40.260 This is the heart that God has for us. 00:27:43.040 --> 00:27:45.380 And the love that he has for us. 00:27:47.020 --> 00:27:50.320 And so, James calls us to a heart for God. 00:27:51.240 --> 00:27:52.600 He calls us to a heart for God. 00:27:52.660 --> 00:27:53.800 Look at verses 6 through 12. 00:27:55.160 --> 00:27:56.700 But he gives more grace. 00:27:56.900 --> 00:27:57.640 I love that. 00:27:57.900 --> 00:27:59.300 I love those five words. 00:27:59.540 --> 00:28:00.900 But he gives more grace. 00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:03.440 Therefore, it says, 00:28:03.700 --> 00:28:06.520 God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. 00:28:06.520 --> 00:28:09.820 Submit yourselves, therefore, to God. 00:28:10.260 --> 00:28:12.820 Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 00:28:13.180 --> 00:28:15.860 Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. 00:28:16.180 --> 00:28:19.780 Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 00:28:20.080 --> 00:28:22.240 Be wretched and mourn and weep. 00:28:22.460 --> 00:28:26.220 Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:29.400 Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you. 00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:32.160 Do not speak evil against one another's brothers. 00:28:32.540 --> 00:28:35.880 The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother 00:28:35.880 --> 00:28:38.940 speaks evil against the law and judges the law. 00:28:39.220 --> 00:28:42.720 But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 00:28:43.040 --> 00:28:48.300 There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. 00:28:48.600 --> 00:28:51.840 But who are you to judge your neighbor? 00:28:52.060 --> 00:28:53.700 And so James comes down through and he says, 00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:57.020 here's what a heart of God looks like. 00:28:58.620 --> 00:29:01.920 And he begins it by saying that it lives in grace. 00:29:02.420 --> 00:29:04.340 Back in verse 6, but he gives more grace. 00:29:04.760 --> 00:29:09.400 Therefore, it says, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. 00:29:09.400 --> 00:29:12.780 Friends, God is not grace broke. 00:29:13.040 --> 00:29:16.540 He's grace rich. 00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:20.140 He's not going to hit the credit limit. 00:29:20.840 --> 00:29:22.460 He's not going to run the account to zero. 00:29:23.560 --> 00:29:29.540 God is grace rich and he extends that lavishly to us. 00:29:30.520 --> 00:29:31.860 It's who he is. 00:29:32.760 --> 00:29:37.420 It's his love for us as he extends grace. 00:29:38.080 --> 00:29:38.680 Right? 00:29:39.400 --> 00:29:40.240 To the humble. 00:29:41.640 --> 00:29:42.820 To the humble. 00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:46.220 Those who desire him. 00:29:46.620 --> 00:29:48.220 Those who trust him. 00:29:48.600 --> 00:29:49.900 Those who obey him. 00:29:50.820 --> 00:29:52.360 James continues on and he says, 00:29:52.560 --> 00:29:55.680 a heart for God submits to him. 00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:57.940 Submits to him. 00:29:58.720 --> 00:29:58.820 Right? 00:29:59.820 --> 00:30:01.000 Let's understand this. 00:30:02.300 --> 00:30:05.340 Submission and obedience are not the same thing. 00:30:07.340 --> 00:30:10.500 Submission and obedience is not about the same thing. 00:30:12.020 --> 00:30:18.880 Obedience can be faked on the surface and oftentimes is solely about the action. 00:30:19.760 --> 00:30:21.300 But submission is about the will. 00:30:21.980 --> 00:30:22.120 Right? 00:30:22.500 --> 00:30:26.880 I want you to think back to when, if you're a parent or you've been around toddlers, right? 00:30:28.480 --> 00:30:30.160 And they've done something wrong. 00:30:30.160 --> 00:30:31.360 Like they hit somebody. 00:30:31.800 --> 00:30:32.340 You ever seen that? 00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:33.520 You got a toy. 00:30:33.620 --> 00:30:34.300 I want the toy. 00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:35.160 I'm going to take the toy. 00:30:35.280 --> 00:30:36.080 You won't give me the toy. 00:30:36.140 --> 00:30:37.200 So I'm going to hit you and take the toy. 00:30:37.400 --> 00:30:39.940 Anybody ever watched a toddler do that? 00:30:39.980 --> 00:30:40.160 Right? 00:30:40.200 --> 00:30:40.540 A young kid. 00:30:40.660 --> 00:30:43.200 And when they do that, what do we do? 00:30:44.200 --> 00:30:47.860 Give the toy back and say you're sorry. 00:30:49.300 --> 00:31:00.300 And oftentimes, they'll be obedient, maybe with some threats, but they'll be obedient and 00:31:00.300 --> 00:31:04.680 they'll say, I'm sorry, but here's what it looks like. 00:31:05.800 --> 00:31:08.360 Throw said toy, sorry. 00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:10.320 Right? 00:31:11.600 --> 00:31:13.000 Were they obedient? 00:31:13.860 --> 00:31:14.340 Yep. 00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:17.540 Were they changed? 00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:18.440 Nope. 00:31:20.020 --> 00:31:20.360 Nope. 00:31:22.140 --> 00:31:29.680 When God says that we need to submit to him, and we'll see that our obedience comes from 00:31:29.680 --> 00:31:30.200 the submission. 00:31:31.580 --> 00:31:35.460 And I want to say this, submitting is way harder than obeying. 00:31:36.840 --> 00:31:40.460 And what I've found in my life, because if you're like me, you're chugging through 00:31:40.460 --> 00:31:43.460 right now all the areas in my life where it's difficult to submit. 00:31:43.840 --> 00:31:47.220 And people say, well, I'm having a hard time with that. 00:31:47.340 --> 00:31:51.900 And I want to say something that's maybe counterculture to how we're built in life, but I think it's 00:31:51.900 --> 00:31:53.760 biblical to what God has for us. 00:31:53.800 --> 00:31:56.220 Then stop trying to submit and start praying about it. 00:31:56.220 --> 00:32:00.840 Stop trying to figure out how you can submit and start begging and pleading with the spirit 00:32:00.840 --> 00:32:05.580 of God to work inside of us, that he will give us the ability in his power so that we can't boast 00:32:05.580 --> 00:32:10.280 in our own power, but we can only boast in his power of who he is, that he would give us the 00:32:10.280 --> 00:32:14.080 opportunity, that he would give us the spirit to submit to him fully. 00:32:15.360 --> 00:32:18.380 And then he's worth all the glory and all the honor and all the praise. 00:32:19.380 --> 00:32:22.780 Because it's from him, not from us. 00:32:24.300 --> 00:32:26.480 A heart for God, James continues, 00:32:26.740 --> 00:32:32.040 a heart for God, resist the devil and draw near, draws near to God. 00:32:32.040 --> 00:32:32.240 Right? 00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:37.460 Let's lose this phrase from our vocabulary, right? 00:32:37.740 --> 00:32:42.620 The devil's never made you do anything and neither has anyone else. 00:32:44.080 --> 00:32:45.900 Have they enticed us with it? 00:32:46.440 --> 00:32:46.920 Absolutely. 00:32:48.340 --> 00:32:49.260 But who did it? 00:32:49.300 --> 00:32:49.580 We did. 00:32:50.940 --> 00:32:52.480 So can you resist the devil? 00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:53.520 Absolutely. 00:32:53.780 --> 00:32:58.880 With the spirit of God in you, yes, you can resist the devil. 00:32:59.080 --> 00:33:01.900 But I read a pastor who talked about this and he said this. 00:33:01.960 --> 00:33:08.160 He says, oftentimes when we resist the devil, our positioning in life or our approach to that 00:33:08.160 --> 00:33:09.820 is halfway there. 00:33:10.760 --> 00:33:15.020 And we run from the sin that's enticing us. 00:33:15.520 --> 00:33:18.240 Now that's not wrong, but where are you running? 00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:22.000 Are you running to the next sin? 00:33:23.180 --> 00:33:26.580 So I'm going to run from lust, but run toward anger. 00:33:29.080 --> 00:33:32.420 I'm going to run from pride, but run to gossip. 00:33:35.280 --> 00:33:44.260 And so James says, right, that we're to resist the devil and draw near to God. 00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:51.920 So this pastor said this, don't just run from sin, but run to God. 00:33:54.040 --> 00:33:55.800 So I'm going to run from lust to the Lord. 00:33:56.260 --> 00:33:57.880 I'm going to run from pride to the Lord. 00:33:58.120 --> 00:33:59.880 I'm going to run from anger to the Lord. 00:34:00.060 --> 00:34:01.860 I'm going to run from jealousy to the Lord. 00:34:02.100 --> 00:34:06.180 You see, he is the picture of the finish line. 00:34:07.520 --> 00:34:12.220 James continues on that a heart for God, when you have a heart for God, you'll cleanse your 00:34:12.220 --> 00:34:14.740 hands and purify your hearts, right? 00:34:14.900 --> 00:34:18.140 A call to seek maturity, right? 00:34:18.140 --> 00:34:26.160 The heart is on the inside, but the desire from that to be pure from it, to clean the outside 00:34:26.160 --> 00:34:28.340 as well, right? 00:34:28.980 --> 00:34:35.220 So grace is not our excuse of what we can fall back to when we've done the wrong things. 00:34:35.900 --> 00:34:37.280 God has grace rich, yes. 00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:44.240 But there is, because of the spirit of God within us, the desire to move forward. 00:34:44.500 --> 00:34:49.280 So clean your hands, purify your hearts, seek the Lord, do what he calls you to do. 00:34:49.600 --> 00:34:51.520 Live in grace, don't seek to abuse it. 00:34:53.160 --> 00:34:55.420 And he says, a heart for God repents. 00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:56.260 Look back at verse 9. 00:34:57.300 --> 00:34:59.520 This is kind of a difficult verse sometimes. 00:35:00.720 --> 00:35:03.280 Be wretched and mourn and weep. 00:35:04.120 --> 00:35:08.200 Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 00:35:08.440 --> 00:35:11.180 Like that kind of feels like anti-Scripture, right? 00:35:12.100 --> 00:35:13.500 We're supposed to be people with joy. 00:35:14.660 --> 00:35:19.580 We're supposed to be people of laughing and happiness and gladness of all that's there. 00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:21.900 And this scripture is not talking against that. 00:35:22.140 --> 00:35:26.000 But this scripture is talking about in the context of your sin. 00:35:27.460 --> 00:35:29.460 Our sin is not to be laughed at. 00:35:29.680 --> 00:35:31.720 Our sin is not made to be light of. 00:35:32.620 --> 00:35:35.920 Our sin nailed Jesus to the cross. 00:35:37.480 --> 00:35:42.260 And we should mourn and weep over that. 00:35:43.200 --> 00:35:45.100 This should be the positioning. 00:35:45.560 --> 00:35:46.920 And it happens at repentance. 00:35:47.260 --> 00:35:49.760 It happens as we confess before him. 00:35:51.760 --> 00:35:57.180 A heart for God humbles themselves before him. 00:35:59.080 --> 00:36:02.540 Take the picture of a servant. 00:36:04.020 --> 00:36:09.000 Take a picture of a soldier submitting before the king. 00:36:10.880 --> 00:36:11.860 That's humility. 00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:16.000 Where you ask me to go, I go. 00:36:16.340 --> 00:36:18.960 What you ask me to do, I do. 00:36:19.180 --> 00:36:23.000 Because I understand that I'm not the king. 00:36:24.140 --> 00:36:25.380 That you are. 00:36:26.500 --> 00:36:29.240 And I'm a commissioned soldier for you. 00:36:30.100 --> 00:36:30.280 Right? 00:36:32.220 --> 00:36:38.060 And then lastly, a heart for God desires reconciliation. 00:36:39.280 --> 00:36:41.320 A heart for God desires reconciliation. 00:36:42.480 --> 00:36:45.700 We began this message about conflict between people. 00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:49.900 And we've talked a lot about our relationship with the Lord. 00:36:49.980 --> 00:36:51.360 And I believe that we begin there. 00:36:52.140 --> 00:36:59.320 When David sinned against Bathsheba and everyone else, David says, against you and you alone have I sinned. 00:37:00.120 --> 00:37:04.160 And that doesn't pardon his actions for others and the hurt that he brought into others. 00:37:04.700 --> 00:37:10.960 And so while we focus in on our relationship with the Lord, James gives us some practical steps here. 00:37:11.620 --> 00:37:14.160 When we experience this, look at verses 11 and 12. 00:37:14.860 --> 00:37:18.240 But do not speak evil against one another, brothers. 00:37:19.320 --> 00:37:25.380 The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother speaks evil against the law and judges the law. 00:37:25.640 --> 00:37:29.540 But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 00:37:30.320 --> 00:37:32.640 There's only one lawgiver and judge. 00:37:32.640 --> 00:37:35.940 He who is able to save and to destroy. 00:37:36.500 --> 00:37:40.920 But who are you to judge your neighbor? 00:37:41.300 --> 00:37:45.740 And here's what James is getting us to, what we're going to end on. 00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:48.420 In the conflict, you're not God. 00:37:50.620 --> 00:37:52.280 You're not holy. 00:37:53.760 --> 00:37:57.480 You're not righteous in and of yourself. 00:37:57.900 --> 00:37:59.660 You're not judge. 00:37:59.980 --> 00:38:02.300 So stop seeking to be that. 00:38:03.980 --> 00:38:07.360 And instead, seek reconciliation. 00:38:08.820 --> 00:38:09.640 Seek reconciliation. 00:38:11.300 --> 00:38:13.800 Promise not a whole other message. 00:38:14.240 --> 00:38:15.880 Really quickly, we'll wrap up with this. 00:38:16.980 --> 00:38:24.040 Jesus in that to his people numerous times throughout his ministry talks about this ministry of reconciliation that we're to have amongst one another. 00:38:24.700 --> 00:38:29.860 We have ministry of reconciliation where we take the gospel of Jesus Christ and we see people reconciled to God. 00:38:29.940 --> 00:38:36.060 But we're also called to work out earthly reconciliation between the two of us or the offended parties. 00:38:36.360 --> 00:38:37.700 And Jesus walks through that. 00:38:38.900 --> 00:38:42.740 And the first thing that he says when you do this, and if you want to know where it is, come talk to me afterwards. 00:38:42.820 --> 00:38:43.820 I'll give you all the references. 00:38:44.260 --> 00:38:50.220 Jesus says you begin reconciliation by looking at the other person and giving them the long list of everything that they've done. 00:38:50.300 --> 00:38:50.520 Nope. 00:38:51.900 --> 00:38:52.780 That's what we do. 00:38:54.220 --> 00:38:55.700 He says you look at yourself. 00:38:57.160 --> 00:38:58.420 You look at yourself. 00:38:59.580 --> 00:39:05.380 And you pull that big old plank out of your eye first. 00:39:07.380 --> 00:39:12.540 And then you determine if they have sin. 00:39:14.300 --> 00:39:21.140 And when that's the case, and I find that step number one should take a lot longer than step two or step three. 00:39:21.140 --> 00:39:29.180 When you find that to be the case, you don't call up your cousin and talk about what the other cousin did. 00:39:30.260 --> 00:39:34.760 You don't jump on Facebook and make a post about what's happening. 00:39:35.620 --> 00:39:42.700 You don't make passive aggressive jabs to a person who's confused of why you're saying things that you're saying to them. 00:39:42.700 --> 00:39:47.920 You sit down and you have a one-on-one brother and sister in Christ conversation. 00:39:49.580 --> 00:39:51.020 You examine yourself. 00:39:52.700 --> 00:39:55.040 You sit down with them. 00:39:57.160 --> 00:40:02.180 And then when you can't come to an agreement because the goal is reconciliation, 00:40:03.800 --> 00:40:08.640 it's not Dr. Phil or the next Google search that you go to, but you sit down with the church. 00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:15.640 You sit down with your leaders, and we walk through the messiness and the stickiness that it is 00:40:15.640 --> 00:40:18.940 because the goal is for God to be glorified. 00:40:19.620 --> 00:40:20.880 And that's what we see. 00:40:21.980 --> 00:40:23.020 Because here's the thing. 00:40:24.140 --> 00:40:25.480 What does the world want? 00:40:26.360 --> 00:40:28.060 The world wants us in conflict. 00:40:28.980 --> 00:40:30.440 What does God want? 00:40:31.100 --> 00:40:32.700 God wants us to be reconciled. 00:40:33.360 --> 00:40:36.140 Because where there is sinful conflict, there is no unity. 00:40:36.500 --> 00:40:39.200 Where there is sinful conflict, there is no fellowship. 00:40:40.480 --> 00:40:42.180 And that's what he reconciles us for. 00:40:43.380 --> 00:40:44.100 Would you pray with me? 00:40:47.380 --> 00:40:50.680 Lord, I thank you so much for this morning that we could be here together. 00:40:51.580 --> 00:40:54.560 I thank you for the boldness and the truthfulness of your word. 00:40:55.940 --> 00:40:59.500 Lord, I thank you that you do give us grace. 00:41:01.220 --> 00:41:05.440 You are a source of overflowing grace to us. 00:41:07.540 --> 00:41:09.200 And God, we thank you for that. 00:41:10.580 --> 00:41:16.920 God, we repent to you of the adultery that we have committed to you. 00:41:18.660 --> 00:41:22.140 Where we want to live in the benefit of the relationship with you. 00:41:24.020 --> 00:41:27.720 And the freedom that our sin wants to call us to. 00:41:31.920 --> 00:41:34.280 Lord, I pray that we would be broken for that. 00:41:38.060 --> 00:41:40.300 Or pray that we would mourn over that. 00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:48.600 Lord, I pray for each and every one of us who are sitting in here this morning. 00:41:50.940 --> 00:41:55.620 And there is that person in their mind. 00:41:59.300 --> 00:42:01.040 Maybe it's a person in their home. 00:42:03.500 --> 00:42:05.100 Maybe it's a person in their family. 00:42:07.900 --> 00:42:11.460 Maybe it's a person at their work, in their neighborhood, in their church. 00:42:14.420 --> 00:42:17.200 And there's sinful conflict that is there. 00:42:20.160 --> 00:42:25.040 Lord, I pray that through the drawing, Lord, the leading of your spirit. 00:42:26.800 --> 00:42:32.960 What would be desired in that relationship is not slander. 00:42:34.240 --> 00:42:35.540 It's not gossip. 00:42:37.140 --> 00:42:40.860 It's not letting everyone else know what they've done to me. 00:42:42.940 --> 00:42:45.620 But it's true reconciliation. 00:42:48.720 --> 00:42:51.400 Keeping the family together. 00:42:53.400 --> 00:42:57.160 Lord, I pray against the work of Satan. 00:42:58.520 --> 00:43:09.800 Lord, in our church and in other churches and in families who wants to come in and destroy what's there. 00:43:12.160 --> 00:43:15.700 He wants to destroy what's there because of a topic. 00:43:18.860 --> 00:43:20.580 A moment of conflict. 00:43:22.320 --> 00:43:24.720 Because of a different mindset of perspective. 00:43:26.560 --> 00:43:28.440 Lord, we pray against him. 00:43:29.260 --> 00:43:37.880 And we ask, Lord, that you work in your spirit, in those relationships, in those churches, in those marriages, in those families. 00:43:38.040 --> 00:43:41.240 To reconcile one another to each other. 00:43:41.380 --> 00:43:43.340 To draw them closer to you. 00:43:43.580 --> 00:43:44.980 To see them glorified. 00:43:45.320 --> 00:43:49.920 And to see you glorified in their life, in their home, in their jobs, in their church. 00:43:51.840 --> 00:43:57.980 That when we run from sin, Lord, we run to you, our eyes on you, our focus on you. 00:44:00.800 --> 00:44:04.140 And Lord, we'll give you all the praise and honor and glory. 00:44:06.740 --> 00:44:11.000 Jesus, have your way in our hearts this morning. 00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:15.180 And it's in Jesus' name, amen. 00:44:15.180 --> 00:44:17.060 Thanks again, amen. 00:44:17.060 --> 00:44:31.800 Thanks again for listening to the Willow Ridge Church weekly podcast. 00:44:32.140 --> 00:44:34.420 We hope that you enjoyed listening to this week's message. 00:44:34.640 --> 00:44:43.460 If you'd like to learn more about who we are or explore additional resources, visit us online at www.willowridgechurch.com 00:44:43.460 --> 00:44:47.040 or by searching for Willow Ridge Church on Facebook and Instagram. 00:44:47.040 --> 00:44:59.920 We'll see you next time.