Speaker 1: Welcome bye.
Speaker 2: It looks like you were really constipated.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to take a sure to Beardless Dickless.
Speaker 2: Me for the second to last ever.
Speaker 3: I'm Kevin Smith.
Speaker 2: I'm Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 3: Like the young beardless dicklas Moa just said, kids, this
Speaker 3: second to last ever episode of Beardless Dickless is happening for.
Speaker 1: The last ever time.
Speaker 3: I'm in what we claimed as the podcast room. We
Speaker 3: spent a year in this room getting to know each other.
Speaker 2: Not really, I didn't know you before this.
Speaker 3: Did you learn anything over the course of the show.
Speaker 3: For those who come in later are like, what do
Speaker 3: you mean? What? What's going on? This is the second
Speaker 3: to last episode of Beardless Dickless Me, hosted by my
Speaker 3: fart good folks at I fart at Heart, which somebody
Speaker 3: the other day I was talking to. We were in
Speaker 3: a place and there was a very conservative radio station
Speaker 3: on in which there was an ad urging of folks
Speaker 3: to self deport. I have never heard this, and I
Speaker 3: was I had to say it out loud, like this
Speaker 3: is fucking are you here? And person I was with
Speaker 3: was like, oh, they always they always do that. That
Speaker 3: ad runs a lot, and I was like, I guess
Speaker 3: I don't listen to radio at all.
Speaker 2: Us it on.
Speaker 3: And they said, when you listen, because they got a
Speaker 3: lot of complaint. And then finally it outed that it
Speaker 3: wasn't the radio station playing the ad, it was the
Speaker 3: app through which they were listening to the radio station. Yes,
Speaker 3: so they tend digress Lean. We still got two more
Speaker 3: shows and then I don't know what happens in a
Speaker 3: world where they're look the funk out of here? Did
Speaker 3: they leave them all there? Or are they they're on
Speaker 3: our server? Actually now they think about it, Yeah, like
Speaker 3: we house them sound like they I mean literally, what
Speaker 3: did they do? Put conservative ads on the podcast?
Speaker 2: Probably that we don't even make the money off exactly.
Speaker 1: I mean the whole thing.
Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy.
Speaker 3: But remember that servo out of the k t L
Speaker 3: A fucking you know brew haha, that I went through
Speaker 3: last year where I was like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna be on AM radio and then but yeah, but
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: What, don't any don't ever let anyone.
Speaker 3: Hear you complain hardly, not even yourself. Marcus Aurelius said
Speaker 3: that it's true, what are you gonna do? We had
Speaker 3: we we did a thing it's done, and it's not
Speaker 3: like I'm like and I regret everything about like we're
Speaker 3: just not doing it there anymore. And it led to
Speaker 3: a cooler thing. And uh, I'm sure we picked up
Speaker 3: a fan or two along the way.
Speaker 2: You better not be any crazy ads on our show.
Speaker 1: Is that where you're stuck at? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I was trying to get all sat about of nostalgic
Speaker 3: about the end. You're like, let me tell you about
Speaker 3: these ihearts.
Speaker 2: I spent a long time on that survey.
Speaker 3: Tell them what survey you're talking about? Would those who
Speaker 3: may be like, well, survey what's going on?
Speaker 2: When we first started the show, we were sent to
Speaker 2: survey of what ads we would like to be run
Speaker 2: on our on our.
Speaker 3: Show, since iHeart was the parent for where the podcast
Speaker 3: was going to be hosted. And they were like, would
Speaker 3: you like to do live ad reads? And I'm like, yeah, sure,
Speaker 3: and they're like, and of the ads that can be
Speaker 3: run on your show, here is a handy, handy survey
Speaker 3: to check all these things like what to stay away
Speaker 3: from in case you don't want to.
Speaker 2: Promote my checked.
Speaker 3: Harley took this so seriously. I think, what did I
Speaker 3: The only boy I was like no booze, and then
Speaker 3: I erased that and was like, all booze. Yeah there was,
Speaker 3: I think, but I did go like politics liberal, like
Speaker 3: or because it gave you a box. But for any advertising,
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh I give a shit, Harley like spent
Speaker 3: three days on it, going through the survey, like checking
Speaker 3: boxes and stuff and handed hers and I'm sure the
Speaker 3: people at I heart looked at mine, looked at yours,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, go by his because there were so
Speaker 3: few restrictions. But again I wasn't. I wasn't like, go
Speaker 3: out and fucking put uncomfortable ad on the thing. But
Speaker 3: apparently they in the survey, they were like, there was
Speaker 3: a lot of that's I guess that's where most of
Speaker 3: the money in radio comes from now is right leaning.
Speaker 2: If those ads are somehow playing on our show, I apologize.
Speaker 4: Good go boo boo boo, and now where we said
Speaker 4: if those speaking of boo, which is very close.
Speaker 2: To that's a big news for Bill.
Speaker 3: Bill fans or big news.
Speaker 2: For Bill, big news regarding Bill, some big Bill news.
Speaker 3: Kids, It's hold on, I'm getting a text from my heart.
Speaker 3: This big Bill news makes us change our minds.
Speaker 1: Please stay You're reaching.
Speaker 3: The youth market. Please, this bill bit is putting you
Speaker 3: on par with Who's Your fucking Daddy? It's just not
Speaker 3: what's the Big Bill News? I wish we had a
Speaker 3: theme song. Next incarnation of the show Kids is going
Speaker 3: to be a lot more post produced, and somebody far
Speaker 3: more clever than I who has time to do this,
Speaker 3: will put in like cool special effects and sound so
Speaker 3: it'll be like Big Bill News and you'll hear like, man,
Speaker 3: what is the Big Bill News? All right? So okay,
Speaker 3: I got Big Bill News? Watch this motherfucker brought my
Speaker 3: kid yesterday. I was like, listen here.
Speaker 2: For that's part of the story, is it. Well, that's
Speaker 2: a small tidbit anyways, tid Bill. The other night, Bill
Speaker 2: thumped for eight hours straight. If you're not familiar, when
Speaker 2: rabbits are upset or trying to communicate something, they thump
Speaker 2: their back feet on the floor.
Speaker 3: So they that's never for joy, like I'm such a
Speaker 3: good No, it's always.
Speaker 2: Like m h yes, exactly, absolutely, And Bill doesn't thump
Speaker 2: that often. I rarely hear Bill thump. And Bill thumped.
Speaker 3: Without touching, perhaps a wound that has yet to heal.
Speaker 3: The late Great Cinnamon War went out for her. Was
Speaker 3: there a lot of thumping there?
Speaker 1: She?
Speaker 2: Uh? She on the occasion.
Speaker 3: So who thumps more? Cinnamon thumped more than Bill.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Sinna had some had some things she had to
Speaker 2: get off her chest sometimes.
Speaker 3: Really every time she thumped, to her like what, and
Speaker 3: she was.
Speaker 2: Basically yeah, I'd look under the bed and be like
Speaker 2: what she'd be like, but she didn't.
Speaker 4: She uh no.
Speaker 3: Well think we ever like, oh my god, you got
Speaker 3: it like carrot?
Speaker 1: Carrot?
Speaker 3: Never carrot.
Speaker 2: She was like, yeah, thank you another cat.
Speaker 3: The way, Bill is not the mad thumper that Cinnamon was.
Speaker 2: No, he was a mad humper.
Speaker 3: Mad Humper's true.
Speaker 2: We resolved that issue.
Speaker 3: Bill was trying to stick little Bill anyway, don't call
Speaker 3: it that in Fugging Cats Furniture nightmare his own mouth.
Speaker 3: So wait, what is so Bill thumping? That's new behavior?
Speaker 3: That's why it's Austin.
Speaker 2: Claims that he hears the occasional thumb. But this was for
Speaker 2: eight hours straight, so loud that it woke me up
Speaker 2: multiple times.
Speaker 3: Maybe he was auditioning, No, he's auditioning. Maybe had a
Speaker 3: self tape for a Whiplash sequel. No, no, maybe they're
Speaker 3: making a sequel to Backbeat, the movie from the ninth
Speaker 3: about the formation of the Beatles and Stuart Sutcliffe, the
Speaker 3: drummer who was left behind in Germany.
Speaker 2: Exactly what's happening. Actually, that's exactly what Bill was trying
Speaker 2: to communicate.
Speaker 3: He's like, I watch you fucker's self tape all day long.
Speaker 3: Let me show you how it's done. He did any
Speaker 3: perfectly reenacts the scene from Whiplash where JK Slim Simmons
Speaker 3: slaps the ship out of fucking mind. Slimmons did get
Speaker 3: Slim and then he got JK fucking.
Speaker 1: Gun show.
Speaker 3: He really did. But uh, that other boy, fucking Miles.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: They both seem like like those kinds of actors that
Speaker 3: I never worked with, And not that I never work with.
Speaker 3: I have worked with some of them, but generally they
Speaker 3: you know, harness that stuff when they do a Kevin
Speaker 3: Smith movie because it's not required, but the actors that.
Speaker 1: Take it way.
Speaker 3: Seriously to the point where I would bet JK. Simmons
Speaker 3: slapped Miles Teller and not without Miles Teller be like,
Speaker 3: I want you to fucking hit me, like I want
Speaker 3: you to bring it like. They seemed like those kind
Speaker 3: of actors which to be fair.
Speaker 2: We don't know that for sure.
Speaker 3: Damn, I'm gonna take a guess.
Speaker 1: To be fair.
Speaker 3: At mad Damon is also a guy he's but not
Speaker 3: like but he's very treats it seriously. I'm not saying
Speaker 3: all the other actors don't treat it seriously. They do,
Speaker 3: but there are some that are like, who's that boy
Speaker 3: who is on succession Jeremy Strong, very intense lad? For example,
Speaker 3: poor him play. I was a moderator for a panel
Speaker 3: this weekend a comic con in which Jared Leto was
Speaker 3: a participant. Ah, yes, what an intense young lad. When
Speaker 3: I say young lad, it's because when you look at him,
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, this guy can't be but like maybe
Speaker 3: twenty five.
Speaker 2: Oh really, When I look at him, I'm like, oh
Speaker 2: look it's Jesus that too.
Speaker 3: There was a bit of that, but you know, because
Speaker 3: I was about to do a panel and they're like,
Speaker 3: come say hi to all the people on the panel.
Speaker 3: They want to meet you. What is he brought me
Speaker 3: over to tron aries. He is literally the aries in
Speaker 3: tron Aries. He is tron colones. He's not the colon
Speaker 3: or tron he's the areas. Oh I thought he was
Speaker 3: they were like, well, ask some people online. They'll be
Speaker 3: quick to tell you he is. So they're like, come
Speaker 3: meet the panelis and the tron panel had like one
Speaker 3: hundred and eighty six actors, like way too many. I
Speaker 3: had done Predator bad Lands and you know, we had
Speaker 3: two actors. It was fucking great. But Preder bad Lands
Speaker 3: is kind of a two hander.
Speaker 2: You don't actually meet one hundred and eighty six but no, but.
Speaker 3: Ten, okay, like fucking ten actors on a panel of
Speaker 3: forty five minutes.
Speaker 2: That is a lot.
Speaker 3: Fifteen of those minutes his clips. It's just like, why
Speaker 3: did you bring all these people? But you know they're
Speaker 3: all and I'm not saying they're like I don't, they're
Speaker 3: all great, but you know everyone gets one question. If
Speaker 3: that you got to you got twenty seconds to shine
Speaker 3: and then we're like, hey man, look at this fuck
Speaker 3: off clip. And everyone in that room. As much as
Speaker 3: like we love famous people, they are there to see
Speaker 3: fucking footage. Like on prayer A bad Lands they showed
Speaker 3: the opening fifteen fucking minutes straight up, unedited some of
Speaker 3: the shots unfinished. Well, I played a little role in
Speaker 3: that because I was like, you should show like because
Speaker 3: they were like, I was like, what are you gonna
Speaker 3: show comic on They're like, we're tossing that around. Like
Speaker 3: at one point, like we were thought about doing the
Speaker 3: opening fifteen minutes, but it's not done. I was like,
Speaker 3: you be insane not to do the opening fifteen minutes
Speaker 3: because it is fucking astounding, and it also sets the
Speaker 3: tone and tells you what the exact movie is without
Speaker 3: ruining the rest of the movie, because it's almost a
Speaker 3: standalone mini movie. Dan Jock DeBerg, the director, was like,
Speaker 3: you know what, man, I think you just pushed this
Speaker 3: in the direction We've been talking about this, and so
Speaker 3: they showed the first fifteen minutes played fucking huge, even
Speaker 3: like yeah, they put up a little video about like
Speaker 3: it's ain't finished and there's some shots that are gonna
Speaker 3: look like this, like they hedge their bets and stuff
Speaker 3: because it's Disney, they could spend that kind of money.
Speaker 3: Tron Airs just put up whole finished sequences of what
Speaker 3: I can only describe as money, Like they just showed
Speaker 3: look at all the fucking money fucking tron and how
Speaker 3: expensive it is. It is nuts and with that fucking
Speaker 3: driving nine inch nails because nine inch Nails did four
Speaker 3: new songs.
Speaker 2: I forgot about.
Speaker 3: I can't do it, but oh my god, it was
Speaker 3: pretty like pretty fucking like they they knew what they
Speaker 3: were doing. Disney, we really know how to market.
Speaker 2: What would you say?
Speaker 3: But I saw he showed me the whole movie, and
Speaker 3: it's wonderful and honestly my favorite Predator movie. That being said,
Speaker 3: I've never been like the biggest Predator guy, but I
Speaker 3: have seen them all ever since I saw the first
Speaker 3: one in a movie theater I now own called Moncastle Cinemas,
Speaker 3: where me and Harley will be this.
Speaker 1: Weekend, thank you very much.
Speaker 3: On Sunday, third Man, watch the final episode of Beardless
Speaker 3: Dickless Me Live. It's my Gaszle Cinemas. The day after
Speaker 3: I turned fifty five. I'll be fifty five.
Speaker 1: In one day.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, fucking that's why we said you're to private school.
Speaker 1: I tell you that good will hunting level.
Speaker 2: Man. I thought you said you would be fifty in
Speaker 2: one day, and I was like, no, one day and one.
Speaker 1: Day Beardless Stickless Me Live on stage.
Speaker 3: It's my Gazle Cinemas. August third tickets selling very well. Tickets,
Speaker 3: so we are in our daughter fifty right now, one
Speaker 3: hundred and fifty people in the audience. I'm praying to
Speaker 3: God because they're leaving breathing bodies and not people sympathy
Speaker 3: buying tickets and home like yeah, just like one one one,
Speaker 3: because he sees you going like watching it obsessively.
Speaker 2: He sees me texting Ernie every single morning.
Speaker 1: Hey, he's like, I gotta do this.
Speaker 3: There's one you know, I should check. I almost did
Speaker 3: this before. There's one fucking ticket I'm trying to sell.
Speaker 3: I got a gig tomorrow night at the music Hall
Speaker 3: in New Hampshire. It's called the Music Hall in Portsmouth,
Speaker 3: New Hampshire, and there is one goddamn ticket left them
Speaker 3: clicking buying buy tickets. Let me see if it's still available.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh yeah.
Speaker 3: Piece of shit. Oh wait, why not? Somebody brought their
Speaker 3: tickets back. Now I gotta fucking promote this ship again.
Speaker 3: It never ends.
Speaker 2: You never stump.
Speaker 3: All right, So wait a second, what was I the
Speaker 3: fuck was I talking?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 2: We even knows, oh Castle Cinemas.
Speaker 1: Yeah, why did I fucking.
Speaker 2: Because you saw a predator there? Yes, And I don't know,
Speaker 2: but I didn't finish my big bill news.
Speaker 3: I'm going to get back. Okay, there was going to
Speaker 3: there and we were talking lying beerless yeah, because I
Speaker 3: was like, blah blahla on Sunday, I'll be back east
Speaker 3: doing beerdless sickness meanlife, yeah, and I I guess it
Speaker 3: got into it at in any event to take us
Speaker 3: a way back, I'm at comic Con and they're like,
Speaker 3: come meet the panelist, and I go meet the panelists
Speaker 3: and who already you know what is it but a
Speaker 3: bunch of actors who haven't seen each other since they
Speaker 3: wrapped the movie a year ago, So guess who they're
Speaker 3: interested in talking to fucking each other. So I'm standing
Speaker 3: there like a dick while they're talking to each other
Speaker 3: and shit, and I'm like, I don't need to meet anybody.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna talk to them for the next hour up
Speaker 3: on stage. But then somebody comes over and says, would
Speaker 3: you mind coming outside and speaking to Jared? And I
Speaker 3: was like, sorry, Jared's not here, like he's outside, and
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, totally, And I went outside and
Speaker 3: held court with mister blue Eyes himself, Old blue Eyes,
Speaker 3: Young blue Eyes, who I stood across from and was
Speaker 3: able to study and saw no hint of any work
Speaker 3: like that's just good jeans. But then looked up how
Speaker 3: old he was?
Speaker 2: How old is he?
Speaker 1: We are the same age?
Speaker 3: Can you believe that?
Speaker 2: No, you're the same age.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna look it up right now. If I'm
Speaker 3: maybe he's like fucking a minute off, maybe he's like
Speaker 3: a year younger. But I was flat burn gasted.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, no way, Jared let him. I'm the
Speaker 2: joker a bunch of people.
Speaker 3: Online, fucking fifty three. He was born December twenty sixth,
Speaker 3: nineteen seventy one. He's literally your mom's age because she
Speaker 3: was nineteen seventy one. And let me tell you something.
Speaker 3: I have seen this intense young actor man very up close,
Speaker 3: and he looks like a fucking.
Speaker 1: Kid like he does an age. It's fucked up.
Speaker 3: And he was very intent, and I got to.
Speaker 2: Tell him, why do you ask to talk to you outside?
Speaker 1: No idea?
Speaker 2: That's so scary.
Speaker 3: How are you? I just wanted to say, how are you?
Speaker 3: Thank you for doing this? And I was like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, no worries, man, that's gonna be fun. I say, hey, man,
Speaker 3: give me a chance to tell you though I said
Speaker 3: no bullshit. Every other month, me and my wife watch
Speaker 3: We Crashed, which is the we Work miniseries he did
Speaker 3: for Apple, Him and Anne Hathaway, which if you haven't
Speaker 3: seen it, you're not living fucking life in a world
Speaker 3: of binging and shit binge. That I if there was
Speaker 3: ever a you know, Rocky hor picture show version of
Speaker 3: that with like we're just showing We Crashed, and every
Speaker 3: audience yells out lines and throws toast and fucking water
Speaker 3: pistols first and en, oh my god, that you want
Speaker 3: to talk about two insanely committed performances and and and
Speaker 3: oddly enough cast in a way where like, I'm not
Speaker 3: you know that everybody has fans and haters, but let's
Speaker 3: be honest, Anne Hathaway has an inordinate amount of people
Speaker 3: at one point who are rooting against her for whatever reason.
Speaker 3: She is playing somebody that you want to root against
Speaker 3: who existed in real life and shit and because of
Speaker 3: that in some weird way, And again, I was never
Speaker 3: a person had anything wrong, like I had no beef
Speaker 3: for then Hathaway. Whatsoever you want to win an Oscar,
Speaker 3: to go win an Oscar man, that's called ambition.
Speaker 1: Go for her.
Speaker 3: True, But if there was any sin she needed to
Speaker 3: wash away I feel like that movie is a baptism
Speaker 3: for her, because it's almost like she gets to, you know, like, fucking,
Speaker 3: I'm leaving all that shit behind on the shoulders of
Speaker 3: a character I played called Rebecca Newman, who happens to
Speaker 3: be based on somebody who really existed. Her performance is transcended.
Speaker 3: His performance too, is really with it. Both of them
Speaker 3: together are It's fuck. I can't even explain it.
Speaker 2: What a glowing review.
Speaker 3: I love to watch them because they just it's like
Speaker 3: two people who It's like watching Harry Potter and Voldemort
Speaker 3: fight with wands, but like, look at this over the
Speaker 3: top two fucking magicians acting at each other but with
Speaker 3: each other. A spell binding. So I got to tell
Speaker 3: him that. What do you think his reaction was?
Speaker 2: Did he forget he did it?
Speaker 1: Or thanks?
Speaker 3: He's a very intense young man. You would imagine like
Speaker 3: normal people would be like, oh my god, I haven't
Speaker 3: thought of that, and like, ta, when did I do
Speaker 3: that ten years ago? Really?
Speaker 1: Well that's wild man, thank you?
Speaker 3: But yeah, really I didn't know if he was just like,
Speaker 3: I don't think we should have this guy as the moderator.
Speaker 3: And then when I was up there, I said, it's
Speaker 3: morbid time and he looked morbified.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was no sense of humor about that. So
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'll be back for Panels. I
Speaker 3: love the Disney people, man. I had a good time.
Speaker 1: But in any event, that Jared Letto.
Speaker 3: Boy very intense actor. So there are some actors that
Speaker 3: are very you know, fucking like. That's how we got
Speaker 3: to Jared Leto And that was off of Bill somehow.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, because.
Speaker 3: Bill was studying under the bed for auditions.
Speaker 2: Wow wow, wow, wow, what a departure.
Speaker 3: I also got to sell some tickets while I was
Speaker 3: at it. Don't forget kids tickets Moncastle Cinemas. Watch this happen.
Speaker 3: Watch you're not even watching it right now unless you're
Speaker 3: a member of that Kevin Smith club that Kim has
Speaker 3: been called dot com where you can see Beardless Stickless
Speaker 3: Met the show that's about to end, but you can
Speaker 3: watch all the other episodes that we ever did regardless
Speaker 3: you want us see us.
Speaker 1: Do this in the real world and shit, a girl
Speaker 1: in her dad.
Speaker 3: On stage looking for money.
Speaker 2: That's what the show should have been called.
Speaker 1: There.
Speaker 3: It is a little honesty up for tickets. It's mocastle
Speaker 3: cinemas dot com right now or c spot dot com
Speaker 3: in any event. Back to the riffting tale of Bill.
Speaker 2: This is what's gonna save our show with our.
Speaker 3: Show with a Bill story.
Speaker 1: So Bill, I want some more bs Bill. Bill.
Speaker 2: He's thumping all night long, and then you come over
Speaker 2: the next day.
Speaker 1: He's like, my name Bill, and I'm here to fomp.
Speaker 3: I want thomp.
Speaker 2: If you are watching, you can see the discussions till
Speaker 2: my face I like to fall. Anyways, you come over
Speaker 2: the next day and then you make a little throwaway joke.
Speaker 2: Maybe he was trying to tell you about an earthquake.
Speaker 3: Yes, because animals, as we all know, yes, no, something's
Speaker 3: gonna happen in nature before we.
Speaker 2: But you were like ha, like yeah, well.
Speaker 1: No, it wasn't.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I'm not trying to seem like a fucking prognosticator
Speaker 3: of some sort. But it was not one hundred percent
Speaker 3: like fucking haha. That was like animals do fucking But
Speaker 3: it was a throwaway. It wasn't throw away in as
Speaker 3: much as I wasn't like Harley sit down.
Speaker 1: Well in nature.
Speaker 2: Later later I.
Speaker 1: Message because I was going to rabbit splain your bunny
Speaker 1: to you.
Speaker 2: Well, I asked someone to rabbit rabbit splain.
Speaker 1: For me, did you?
Speaker 2: I messaged the Los Angeles Rabbit Foundation. That's a thing, yes,
Speaker 2: an organization.
Speaker 3: I've rabbit found it.
Speaker 2: Indeed, I've I have, you know, known them for quite
Speaker 2: some time. And I and I wanted to speak to
Speaker 2: an expert, and so I asked like, do you know
Speaker 2: why you might have been thumping for eight hours straight
Speaker 2: under the bed? And they were like, well, indoor rabbits
Speaker 2: don't really sump because of a threat outside rabbits to
Speaker 2: but since there are no predators in the inside.
Speaker 3: Besides, did you mention cats, one of which she became
Speaker 3: very low? Love each other?
Speaker 2: And who are you referring to?
Speaker 1: Elastic side? Bow by? Passed me pass another to talk?
Speaker 2: Oh by bye, dad, wakild I say anything to walk
Speaker 2: right now?
Speaker 3: Okie was always that way. She's big plus wookie plus
Speaker 3: a mother.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: Moves like you try fucking let me when you have
Speaker 3: kids with your fucking man. You tell me how fast
Speaker 3: you can lose the weight, But fucking move man.
Speaker 2: Move was a healthy size. He's a big.
Speaker 3: I'll go job troll.
Speaker 1: I'll back it up. I'll back it up.
Speaker 2: Okay, I like that one.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: So, so normally a rabbit wooden thump indoors unless a
Speaker 3: while around. Do you have a wild rabbit?
Speaker 2: No, but they were saying.
Speaker 3: In the wild, yes, thump unless they're.
Speaker 1: Like fuck off.
Speaker 2: Yes, but domestic rabbits because they're a different species though
Speaker 2: for a different reason. Yeah, there's not really so many
Speaker 2: threats on the inside, so they're trying to communicate something else.
Speaker 3: I would argue, the biggest threat is always on the inside.
Speaker 3: A rabbit build with self doubt, so.
Speaker 2: True, ABU without confidence, I.
Speaker 1: Can't get ahead.
Speaker 3: It's got to be me. No, that's being defeated by
Speaker 3: the something on the inside. No.
Speaker 2: Bill loves himself. Yeah, Bill believes in himself. I hype
Speaker 2: him up every day.
Speaker 3: Very forward with my daughter's hand and almost face.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 3: So anyways, yeah, we'll talk about that next.
Speaker 2: The Los Angeles Rabbit Foundation l LARV messaged me back
Speaker 2: and said he could have been anticipating in earthquake, and
Speaker 2: I was like, whoa. And then the Hugers quake happened
Speaker 2: in Russia that sent a tsunami over here, And all
Speaker 2: I'm saying is I think that you predicted the tsunami.
Speaker 1: It's all connected.
Speaker 3: Look, I'm happy for you to tell that story because
Speaker 3: it does put a little shine.
Speaker 2: On me looking smart.
Speaker 3: Now me and Bill are connected. I was about to
Speaker 3: connect with Bill in as much as I was going
Speaker 3: to corporally punish him, throw my hand onto his not
Speaker 3: bare bottom, because there's a lot of fucking fur there.
Speaker 2: You laid a hand on beat.
Speaker 3: Well, he laid a hand on you. He bit you,
Speaker 3: did he not? He went to hand like that.
Speaker 2: It wasn't a hard bite it.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you.
Speaker 3: That happens. Let me tell you something. Anybody bites you,
Speaker 3: they're going to have to answer to somebody that I
Speaker 3: hire to threaten them physically, because I'm not very comfortable now.
Speaker 3: Anybody that fucking hurt you has to hear from me.
Speaker 3: I don't give a fuck if they're cute and furry.
Speaker 3: That's how domestic abusers get away with it. You don't
Speaker 3: this spectrum shit and this fucking bunny. One bite and
Speaker 3: then he also went for your face.
Speaker 1: No he did not, he went like this.
Speaker 3: No I was.
Speaker 2: I was nuzzling him and.
Speaker 3: You went like this because he made a fast movement.
Speaker 1: You were afraid he.
Speaker 2: Was going made this part up. Yeah, I thought was
Speaker 2: trying to get off my bird market.
Speaker 1: He's just like.
Speaker 3: We watched it fucking documentary last night, me and your.
Speaker 1: Mom my Bill and.
Speaker 3: It was about the son of Sam on Netflix, and
Speaker 3: I learned some shit. I've been alive since that shit happened,
Speaker 3: right like I remember it happening. I remember watching the
Speaker 3: news every night with my father and my mom and
Speaker 3: then being like the forty four caliber killer, you know,
Speaker 3: strikes again and shit like that. So as we're watching it,
Speaker 3: they I'm learning shit I never knew before, Like, this
Speaker 3: was a really good documentary and shit, there were details
Speaker 3: I had not known heretofore. For example, for him play.
Speaker 2: Yes, excuse me, Play excuse me?
Speaker 3: Where my father famously amongst anyone who gives a shit
Speaker 3: who listened to me over the last thirty two years plus,
Speaker 3: uh worked at the post office, Yes, thirty one years. Sorry,
Speaker 3: I was adding a year. There was adding a year
Speaker 3: to the year that we made clerks. But nobody knows
Speaker 3: me until it comes out.
Speaker 2: So thank you for theification.
Speaker 1: WHA.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was wondering.
Speaker 3: Until ninety four. Until January of ninety four, it's it's
Speaker 3: all BC. Yes, we know what it stands for So
Speaker 3: David Berkowitz, uh sorted mail at the United States Post Office. Literally,
Speaker 3: like my father had the exact same job as my father.
Speaker 3: And this whole fucking time I've been alive and known
Speaker 3: about the son Sam and whatnot, including the days when
Speaker 3: my father was alive and having like minimal conversations with
Speaker 3: me because you know, we didn't fucking engage like you
Speaker 3: and I engage in ship. My father was ha.
Speaker 2: Nice always, that's what fucking Austin does that all the time,
Speaker 2: except he does it. He absolutely hears what I say,
Speaker 2: but he wants more time to think of a response,
Speaker 2: so he's like.
Speaker 1: You think he's stalling. Huh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all the father didn't have bad hearings, so it
Speaker 3: wasn't that. Hey Dad, ha, Dad, do you want to
Speaker 3: did you did you did you read the thing that
Speaker 3: mom the mom? Did you read the note that the
Speaker 3: mom left the mom? Did you read the note the
Speaker 3: mom left on the fridge?
Speaker 2: Ha?
Speaker 3: That's so puttany but in any.
Speaker 2: Event, you should make a movie about his life and
Speaker 2: call it.
Speaker 3: Home the Old Man and did the same job as
Speaker 3: David Berkowitz. That being said, that's not the important part.
Speaker 3: Here's the important part, Okay, in the dock, what you
Speaker 3: found out? I didn't know this part. His birth story
Speaker 3: is his mom dies and his dad gives him up,
Speaker 3: and then he's raised by two very wonderful, loving parents.
Speaker 3: But in this prison interview he does he's talking about like,
Speaker 3: and this is after you find out and so here.
Speaker 3: So everything's hunky dory until the age of seven, when
Speaker 3: his father tells him you're adopted and your mother died
Speaker 3: in childbirth and that that's why your father gave you up,
Speaker 3: couldn't handle you by himself, and that's where we pound
Speaker 3: and we love you and blah blah blah. But for
Speaker 3: some reason he felt like the need to be honest
Speaker 3: with the kid. At age seven, Well, this is where
Speaker 3: it all begins, because suddenly he has this kind of
Speaker 3: disconnect from his family because he's like, I don't know
Speaker 3: who the fuck I am now, Like everything I believed
Speaker 3: was true is a fucking lie. And even though he
Speaker 3: loves his mother and this is the only mother he's
Speaker 3: ever known, he starts rebelling in weird ways to the
Speaker 3: ways he did. He's like, I would cut holes in
Speaker 3: her clothes and I would cut her bras and never
Speaker 3: say anything or I would take her lipstick and I
Speaker 3: would roll them all the way up and then I
Speaker 3: would break it off and then close it, put them down,
Speaker 3: all these like very not even passive aggressive aggressive aggressive,
Speaker 3: little microaggressions. Yeah, and then what happens is he like
Speaker 3: his mom dies as his mom is an adopted mom dies,
Speaker 3: and then his dad gets remarried and moves away and
Speaker 3: he's just kind of left in New York and stuff.
Speaker 3: He's a smart kid, and he's he's one of these
Speaker 3: dual personalities jackal and Hyde presents to everybody. He's like,
Speaker 3: hey man, I were you, but inside he's just like
Speaker 3: one day I'll get to kill and then finally did.
Speaker 3: And once you start and if you watch it, like
Speaker 3: you know, fucking uh Jennifer whoa well I was. I
Speaker 3: was trying to find a cute nickname for a while.
Speaker 1: It was like, let me just go.
Speaker 3: Your but Jennifer was like, you know, you take away
Speaker 3: the glamour and it being the seventies and then blowing
Speaker 3: them up into like you know, the son of the
Speaker 3: Sam and blah blah blah, just going this is a
Speaker 3: pretty standard story. He's just a woman hater kid who
Speaker 3: just say did women and fucking grew up hating women
Speaker 3: and eventually just that's all he wanted to kill was women,
Speaker 3: And then he eventually all he killed was brunette women.
Speaker 2: Oh my was his mom? Brunette?
Speaker 3: Now the fuck is weeping?
Speaker 2: Be weep? Be we?
Speaker 1: Who would that?
Speaker 2: I don't know? Someone to the door?
Speaker 3: Is it?
Speaker 1: Be?
Speaker 3: What? This isn't? This is why I fucking I heart
Speaker 3: get rid of us like a bunch of folks on
Speaker 3: somebody is there?
Speaker 2: Who is it? I'm not answering it is.
Speaker 3: That, Chelsea.
Speaker 2: I'll tell more stories about be if.
Speaker 3: You want to go look yeah, well yeah, go ahead
Speaker 3: and and for now enjoy the stories of Since it's
Speaker 3: the last episode, go ahead, you do.
Speaker 2: I've been waiting for this moment for you, Okay, So
Speaker 2: lately I've been picking you up. Lately, I've been picking
Speaker 2: you up. Oh my god. Now that he's gone, I
Speaker 2: can say everything I've ever wanted to say. No, I'm kidding,
Speaker 2: but am I? I never get this much freedom and
Speaker 2: space anyways? So back to be No, should I talk
Speaker 2: about you? Or should I talk about move? Well, I'll
Speaker 2: talk about all of them. So I've been picking up.
Speaker 2: But I guess I could say it's the camera. I've
Speaker 2: been talking about be and he's been Simon didn't really
Speaker 2: Simon didn't really lick me that much. She actually only
Speaker 2: licked me one time in our entire tenure relationship. But
Speaker 2: I won't take it to heart. But Bill licks me
Speaker 2: all the time and it's so sweet and it's little kisses.
Speaker 3: How'd you do?
Speaker 2: Not talking about you?
Speaker 3: What's that.
Speaker 2: You've got a gift from who?
Speaker 1: I'd rather not say.
Speaker 3: No, I'm not quite sure.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 2: You just brought in a mysterious box.
Speaker 1: Well, it does have my name on it. You give
Speaker 1: me the card?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what the hell.
Speaker 1: You're gonna open it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: What if it's gotten like Anthra accent or something.
Speaker 1: It's from Bill sends.
Speaker 2: It dear Grandpa. No, it's from MoU Are your birthday?
Speaker 1: Giam?
Speaker 2: Balls from Moos?
Speaker 1: Like you know you weren't always either by a ball somebody?
Speaker 3: Are your comments? Yeah, we're all little thick in this
Speaker 3: family with two sas well.
Speaker 2: It's a mom, the skinniest person in the world. Anyways,
Speaker 2: it's from boy Jordan.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's what Lyndon Entertainment is.
Speaker 2: Are you going to open it?
Speaker 3: Happy birthday? Kept me the next fifty five. Tick bye
Speaker 3: with continued style, creativity and on your own time. Boy Jordan,
Speaker 3: how lovely he knows I'm leaving. That's what Lyndon Entertainment is.
Speaker 3: You don't know the name of his No, and you
Speaker 3: know what that proves that I'm with him? So true
Speaker 3: because he's jumped two different places jump ship twice and
Speaker 3: I've gone.
Speaker 1: With him each time. I don't even know the name
Speaker 1: of the place.
Speaker 3: I followed a quality of the of the fucking person.
Speaker 3: So true, brand whore and ship like that. But good
Speaker 3: to know.
Speaker 1: You'd be weird, Cameron.
Speaker 3: It's glad I know who it was, man, I mean
Speaker 3: was that I gotta I gotta text him, be like
Speaker 3: who brought that? She said, I'm Brie, and I was like,
Speaker 3: but I'm trying to remember if I ever dealt with Brie.
Speaker 3: That is old assistant. His current assistant is Harrison.
Speaker 2: I know all his details.
Speaker 3: Yeah. People are like, all right, I'm call his office
Speaker 3: and be like, oh, Harrison, I was friends with pre.
Speaker 1: Be familiar.
Speaker 3: No, I'm just a listener, a beardless dick miss me
Speaker 3: and before they left, they gave me the key to guitar.
Speaker 3: Hollywood Spider, I have been uh, working on a Marvel
Speaker 3: thing with Andy mckelfish, and so there's been a lot
Speaker 3: of yes, Spider as we just sit there and do ship.
Speaker 2: That's cute. Than maybe that's a funny.
Speaker 3: Bit that we that came out of like, you know,
Speaker 3: fucking just conversation that made me laugh and made him laugh.
Speaker 3: So I was like, let's open the comic with it.
Speaker 3: It's kind of funny and it's you know what, you
Speaker 3: know what I'm gonna talk about here. I'm gonna save
Speaker 3: it for the after show.
Speaker 1: Oh my heart, don't get this.
Speaker 3: Now. The audience is like, we're not our heart, don't
Speaker 3: punish us. Well, you're not being punished. Go to Beardless,
Speaker 3: go to that Kevinsmith club dot com. You can listen
Speaker 3: to and see Beardless Stickless plus the after show. And
Speaker 3: you're like, what, there's an after show. There's barely a
Speaker 3: show show.
Speaker 2: Well, Wow, there's more after this.
Speaker 1: Guess what if you were like that was disappointing, There's even.
Speaker 3: More and I'll talk about it there on the Last
Speaker 3: ever plistic. Please all right, did you finish your bill story?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: The story stylings of Hartley quin Smith, Ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 3: thank you, how'd you do in my absence?
Speaker 2: I was just filling them in how in cinnamon and
Speaker 2: ized time together?
Speaker 1: I tried to tell them about Mark, but did I barbed.
Speaker 3: I'm so nervous. I don't know what to do without you.
Speaker 3: I was like you up here, like about even the show?
Speaker 1: What will you do.
Speaker 3: With all your free time now that these shows coming
Speaker 3: to an end?
Speaker 2: What a good question? All the other things, music, acting, writing,
Speaker 2: the other thing we're doing?
Speaker 3: Hi, diddle d d an actor's life with me? Fancy car?
Speaker 2: What will you do without our show?
Speaker 1: Start a new one?
Speaker 2: Amen?
Speaker 3: Life is a series of podcasts.
Speaker 2: Oh true?
Speaker 3: You record one and another another. And one day, Hi,
Speaker 3: I knew you were going to say that, yeah we
Speaker 3: this beard Listic was me is that it's crazy how
Speaker 3: many folks are coming out of the woodwork. And I
Speaker 3: don't mean like enough to save the fucking show, because
Speaker 3: I don't know how I save a show that was
Speaker 3: never in jeopardy. Just one diehards like we're not going
Speaker 3: to renew season two, and we were like, what is
Speaker 3: the what did you do for season one?
Speaker 1: What is different?
Speaker 3: What are you being? It's not like they had to
Speaker 3: pay us more money. They never paid using except when
Speaker 3: they put ads on the show, which we've now come
Speaker 3: to find out very But in any event, yes, it's
Speaker 3: all coming to a conclusion, and that gives one a
Speaker 3: moment to reflect and and it also gives one moment
Speaker 3: if this is the last show, we should be able
Speaker 3: to give them a passion.
Speaker 2: And oh yeah, I was thinking that. I was thinking
Speaker 2: that you might.
Speaker 1: Have been thinking it.
Speaker 3: But but you come prepared for it.
Speaker 2: I can do it on the spot, do you think so?
Speaker 3: Yeah, can make it up. Where are we right now?
Speaker 1: Forty one minute mark? God, damn it?
Speaker 2: B what clock union? Glasses?
Speaker 1: Real bad? Honestly, you're not wrong. I used to wear glasses.
Speaker 3: If you look at every fucking photo of me wondering
Speaker 3: when Meghan left, but not even when Meghan joined me.
Speaker 3: After cop out is when I slowly started moving away
Speaker 3: from glasses.
Speaker 1: Do you know why?
Speaker 2: Because she was driving around you? But now you drive?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Well when when well, no, but not after after
Speaker 1: it was Megan.
Speaker 3: Then Ashley drove for a while. Yeah. After Ashley left,
Speaker 3: then I started driving again, and I realize I.
Speaker 1: Don't really need my glances.
Speaker 3: I don't for like, you know.
Speaker 1: I'm good.
Speaker 2: You are already the most questionable driver I've ever known.
Speaker 3: What do you mean questionable?
Speaker 2: I mean exactly what I.
Speaker 3: Said, but like define questionable.
Speaker 2: Questionable decisions, dangerous decisions, reckless decisions, have anything to say
Speaker 2: about it?
Speaker 3: I drive Jersey. Nobody ever gets hurt on my watch.
Speaker 3: It's tough to feel, yeah, wood until they do, but
Speaker 3: tough to you know, feel like I'm doing it wrong.
Speaker 2: Most family members will not get in the car with you.
Speaker 2: And that's facts.
Speaker 3: The fucking taught me in the booby hatch that I
Speaker 3: can control my feelings, I can't control yours. So you're
Speaker 3: one of those hystericals that get in my car and like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's on you. Your mom still fucking gets on my
Speaker 3: dick about it. Yeah, where I'm like, we've been doing
Speaker 3: this together for a fucking.
Speaker 2: I braced myself every time.
Speaker 3: How old's the kid? Twenty six so twenty seven years
Speaker 3: you've been driving with me? How many accents you've been
Speaker 3: That's what I say, and then she goes.
Speaker 4: Fuck, you know.
Speaker 3: Shit, I've been in an accident? Yeah, yeah, where I've
Speaker 3: gotten hit, Not for anything I've done. Somebody who ran
Speaker 3: a light and hit me, tee bone me right fucking on.
Speaker 2: I know because I now feel that's a cursed street
Speaker 2: because you and Mom both gotten accidents on separate occasions
Speaker 2: on Gardener.
Speaker 3: I remember going over to like, oh my god, how
Speaker 3: can I help, and helping mom out When I called
Speaker 3: mom to be like I got an accident Gardener, like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, all right, well, i'll see you when
Speaker 3: you get home.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I have a lot to say on the matter,
Speaker 2: but I won't.
Speaker 3: It's look, I learned at an early age that not
Speaker 3: everyone is me and you, And that doesn't mean like
Speaker 3: we're that cherl never one sucks, but you and I
Speaker 3: are broken individuals inasmuch as we over deliver for whatever
Speaker 3: fucking reason.
Speaker 1: There are people in.
Speaker 3: This world who will deliver exactly what's expected of them.
Speaker 3: There are people in this world who won't deliver at all,
Speaker 3: And then there are people like us who will over
Speaker 3: deliver to a fault. And because of that, you learn
Speaker 3: early on to not expect it from anybody else. And
Speaker 3: it doesn't make you feel superior like I'm different. It
Speaker 3: means I'm built differently. As I found out in the
Speaker 3: movie Hatch, it wasn't. I always thought that that was
Speaker 3: a good thing. That makes me fucking better than most people.
Speaker 3: And it doesn't. It made me broken. It exists because
Speaker 3: I'm trying to fucking heal something.
Speaker 1: Mhm m, I go back to the book. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: so yes, not everyone.
Speaker 3: Actually I had to learn that lesson because of my
Speaker 3: mom because she was very much like me, which is
Speaker 3: makes sense. She gave birth to manhit and then raised me,
Speaker 3: and so I watched her be the person that like
Speaker 3: over delivers and then heartbreaking late watched when she was
Speaker 3: hoping for like, you know, the treatment, same treatment in return?
Speaker 1: Is this blocking your light? That pig out package? Yeah
Speaker 1: it is evy.
Speaker 3: You know it's in there right book. Yes, yes, he
Speaker 3: knows me the uh. It's so weird though that I
Speaker 3: had no idea when the lady was like Lynden entertainment
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh that is but yeah, watching
Speaker 3: my mom be like you know you do and you
Speaker 3: do for people and then when you need And it
Speaker 3: took years, but one day I was able to say
Speaker 3: to my mom, and not because like I've been watching
Speaker 3: for years and wanted to say it, but after going
Speaker 3: through it myself, be like, ma, when you do something
Speaker 3: for somebody that's its own reward, that's all you get
Speaker 3: And if you're doing it and hopes that someone will
Speaker 3: do it for you, then that's not generous. You're not
Speaker 3: doing it for the right reasons. You're stockpiling and stuff.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 3: And what I didn't know was like you know, as
Speaker 3: somebody who could sit me down fucking decades later and
Speaker 3: be like, you're not doing it for the right reasons.
Speaker 2: You weren't.
Speaker 1: That's what they told me in the booby ash. So
Speaker 1: like you.
Speaker 3: Fucking do for everybody because you're broken, because you think
Speaker 3: that's the only way motherfuckers are going to like see
Speaker 3: you as worthwhile you constantly try to earn your keep
Speaker 3: by over delivering and stuff. So I am so sad
Speaker 3: it is, uh. I mean, one could say it's like, oh,
Speaker 3: but like anything in life, there are two sides every coin.
Speaker 3: Because of that, like you, I could draw a line
Speaker 3: from that to clerks and everything I've ever done right,
Speaker 3: there's a gaping fucking need and it drives that and
Speaker 3: and so naturally it's.
Speaker 1: Like I made a thing of me, And that's.
Speaker 3: Every artist, bro. I'm not alone in that. Very few
Speaker 3: artists escape that. Most of us have some guff that
Speaker 3: we're trying to fucking fill that can only be filled
Speaker 3: with praise when people will never meet.
Speaker 2: Every single time I do a take of an audition,
Speaker 2: I'm like, so, Austin, what do you think? Every time
Speaker 2: I shall astin a song, I'm like, I'm waiting.
Speaker 3: And this is true, Like I learned this on Jay
Speaker 3: and so above Shake Back. Two directors were in that
Speaker 3: movie with me, Like you know, they have bit parts
Speaker 3: and ship but legit directors Gus von Sant and Wes
Speaker 3: Craven who I shared a birthday with, but not anymore
Speaker 3: because well I do share a birthday with, but thankfully
Speaker 3: not the death day. West passed away back in the day,
Speaker 3: but he lived a very long, healthy life and fucking
Speaker 3: when I knew him, I was like, oh, he's gotta
Speaker 3: be sixty. I think he was fucking late seventies early
Speaker 3: eighties at that point. So master of fucking horror, modern horror,
Speaker 3: and the fucking one of the most powerful voices come
Speaker 3: out of independent film and crossover into the mainstream, making movies
Speaker 3: with integrity and fucking head and heart, both playing themselves
Speaker 3: in My goofy Ass movie, both of them fucking far
Speaker 3: more accomplished than I'll ever be. Both of them born
Speaker 3: to make cinema, both of them eliciting brilliant performances out
Speaker 3: of actors they've worked with, and on Jane's I'm About
Speaker 3: Shrek back when I was like they did their scene.
Speaker 3: As soon as I was like cut, both of them
Speaker 3: were like, oh my god, it doesn't matter who you are, man, Like,
Speaker 3: that's yeah, that lean.
Speaker 1: Can I see past the camera?
Speaker 3: Hellom on target aud my phone?
Speaker 1: Even two dudes.
Speaker 3: Who would know better, we're still like and I literally
Speaker 3: had to say to both of them, like, come on,
Speaker 3: you don't know, Like, well that's what you want.
Speaker 1: Oh wow.
Speaker 3: Gus was like very cool about it. Yeah, it's that's
Speaker 3: all right there.
Speaker 1: That's all of us in entertainment.
Speaker 3: Man. That's what drives one to like, you know, I
Speaker 3: got to put on a show. You know, if you
Speaker 3: can do it, you know you're inclined for it. But
Speaker 3: the drive because everyone could do it right, everyone can
Speaker 3: make pretend, and then there are those of us with
Speaker 3: an inclination and like maybe I can stretch this out
Speaker 3: like fucking you know, there are people who do this
Speaker 3: for a living and dreamers and shit. But it's the drive.
Speaker 3: It's the ambition that gets you to where people see
Speaker 3: because you want to be seen, like, you know, it's
Speaker 3: ridiculous whenever anyone's just like, oh my god, I hate
Speaker 3: to bother you because I'm like, hey, we want to
Speaker 3: take a pic and they say are you and I'm like yeah,
Speaker 3: and they're like, oh my god, it's so weird. It's
Speaker 3: like you want to take a pic like I would
Speaker 3: love to, but I hate to bother you. And I
Speaker 3: was like, it's not a bother It's why I did it.
Speaker 3: Like this means the plan is working. Let's take that picture.
Speaker 3: But we're all looking for that fucking approval that apparently
Speaker 3: we didn't get as kids. Now, I was around for
Speaker 3: your childhood. I was, you know, I was around for
Speaker 3: mine and my parents couldn't give me. They didn't give
Speaker 3: me disapproval and they were very loving and support and ship,
Speaker 3: but they couldn't be like hev you should be a filmmaker,
Speaker 3: because that just didn't happen in our world. What are
Speaker 3: you trying to accomplish with all of this?
Speaker 1: What drives you? You think?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Really with with acting?
Speaker 3: Yeah, not ever.
Speaker 2: Being good enough?
Speaker 3: You don't. I guess I can right there, just like
Speaker 3: the son of Sam Well, I have an origin moment
Speaker 3: for when you kill and to finish that story, I.
Speaker 2: Didn't even I was so hesitant to say. And then
Speaker 2: I didn't even have the chance to say, because you
Speaker 2: wouldn't stop talking. I don't know what that is?
Speaker 1: The son of Sam.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So David Berkowitz in the summer of nineteen seventy seven,
Speaker 3: same summer that Star Wars would come out, held New
Speaker 3: York in the Grip of Terror as a I'm not
Speaker 3: going to say the first serial killer, but one of
Speaker 3: the most famous famous sewers, Celia. He was originally the
Speaker 3: forty four caliber killer. He would just walk up to
Speaker 3: couples in cars and shoot them no good reason. No,
Speaker 3: they couldn't find a motive. They didn't. They couldn't connect
Speaker 3: these crimes to begin with because they'd had no database,
Speaker 3: and that's not how police work worked back in the day.
Speaker 3: And shit, So this guy did it for a red
Speaker 3: hot minute before people were like, hey, we had a
Speaker 3: guy with a forty four caliber shoot somebody in Queen's Hey,
Speaker 3: we had the same thing happened in pargrama.
Speaker 2: It was only couples.
Speaker 3: That's what we were told because that's what it looked like.
Speaker 3: But as we learned last night.
Speaker 1: I'll get to it.
Speaker 3: We learned something on me and Jen your mom my.
Speaker 3: Jen learned something last night watching the David Berkowitz The
Speaker 3: Son of Sam thing on Netflix.
Speaker 1: I was like, holy shit.
Speaker 3: But when we in the seventies in the fucking wall
Speaker 3: was happening, and I'm six years old going on seven.
Speaker 3: It is on the news every fucking night, like you know,
Speaker 3: the son of the forty four caliber killer has struck again.
Speaker 3: He was called the forty verk caliber killer until he
Speaker 3: wrote a letter to the to Jimmy Presley in the
Speaker 3: Daily News and identified He's like, I don't like the
Speaker 3: name the forty four caliber killer. Call me the son
Speaker 3: of Sam. Sam speaks to me every night and tells
Speaker 3: me to kill these beautiful young women and blah blah
Speaker 3: blah and shit like that. Wrote you know, became one
Speaker 3: of those guys that writes a letter to the newspaper.
Speaker 3: Jimmy Breslin wrote for the Daily News he was calumnist,
Speaker 3: fucking like piped. It went back and forth with the guy,
Speaker 3: even called him out on the one year anniversary to
Speaker 3: be like in which a lot of people thought was
Speaker 3: unethical to be like, hey, Sam to the one year anniversary.
Speaker 1: Where are you?
Speaker 3: Because he dipped for a minute. So Sam, Yeah, there's
Speaker 3: a whole last movie about it. Spike Lee made Summer
Speaker 3: of Sam, which is a great movie about the Summer
Speaker 3: of Sam.
Speaker 1: And you know how in like.
Speaker 3: Where is it Sam, that area of Brooklyn Bay Ridge
Speaker 3: or whatever a fuck how lot of white people fucking
Speaker 3: reacted and shit like.
Speaker 1: You fucking bring that shit here, somemoch Sam like.
Speaker 3: And also that was the same same summer when the
Speaker 3: New York blackout happened, so for like four or five days,
Speaker 3: the city lost all fucking power in the midst of
Speaker 3: the Son of Sam killings. And this was also at
Speaker 3: a time when New York is not the New York,
Speaker 3: you know, but the New York of if you don't
Speaker 3: go there because you will get mugged crime. It was
Speaker 3: the New York of taxi driver. So it is it's
Speaker 3: a bad time for New York. And into it enters
Speaker 3: this guy who's just randomly shooting fucking couples and cars
Speaker 3: and shit.
Speaker 1: And eventually they finally find this.
Speaker 3: Guy and it's David Burkwitz. And so in the documentary
Speaker 3: David Berkowitz on these prison tapes, he was interviewed by
Speaker 3: a guy who was like, we gotta get to the
Speaker 3: bottom of these fucking people. Like you know that show
Speaker 3: on Netflix, mind Hunter, It's like that. So the guy
Speaker 3: was like, I'm gonna interview this fucking whack job people
Speaker 3: like why he's in jail. It's like, to find out why,
Speaker 3: how he thinks do what he did. So he's talking
Speaker 3: to him and with the guy said was he said, berk,
Speaker 3: whit's telling his life story. At a certain point, his
Speaker 3: father's adopted father reveals to him, you said this part
Speaker 3: no reveals even more, reveals to him that his mother
Speaker 3: did not die in child.
Speaker 1: Neither did you know.
Speaker 3: So his dad that's not what happened, because he went
Speaker 3: looking for his birth father and found out, but your
Speaker 3: mom's still around. He's like, what do you mean my
Speaker 3: mom's dead. Then he got to meet his mom and
Speaker 3: his half sister and he was like, you know, polied
Speaker 3: to her and wonderful and they took pictures and shit.
Speaker 3: But then on this interview he was like, here was
Speaker 3: this disgusting woman in these terrible clothes, and this was
Speaker 3: my mother and she had given me up. The story was,
Speaker 3: you know, she'd had affair with a married man and
Speaker 3: then was just like got pregnant and gave the kid up.
Speaker 3: And so he that's when he starts forming this like
Speaker 3: women are whores. She fucked some guy in a car,
Speaker 3: got pregnant, I'm born, I get given up. And he
Speaker 3: knows inside his whole life, he's like, I'm bad, I'm evil,
Speaker 3: I shouldn't exist. But because now I know this woman
Speaker 3: fucked a man in a car and brought me into
Speaker 3: this hellish world, Well I'm gonna stop that. And so
Speaker 3: he went out and anytime he saw like a woman
Speaker 3: in a car, that was his mo. So all brunettes
Speaker 3: like his mom. So he was essentially just trying to
Speaker 3: kill his mom, over and over again. That all being said,
Speaker 3: back to what brought it up, that's Bill, that's your rabbit.
Speaker 3: That is your rabbit doing an interview yours from now,
Speaker 3: going like I would break her lipstick and I would
Speaker 3: bite holes into her clothes.
Speaker 1: This cat's a fucking socio bath. This this rabbit is
Speaker 1: a look at socio bat.
Speaker 2: No, that Bill is no serial killers, Bill, No, take
Speaker 2: it back.
Speaker 1: Do you know who Sam was?
Speaker 3: Sam? In question, I am the son of Sam. So
Speaker 3: Sam was his next door neighbor, who had a German
Speaker 3: shepherd that would bark all night on and keep this
Speaker 3: guy up. And it was the dog that spoke to him. Eventually,
Speaker 3: sadly spoilers. No, I mean, this is a man who
Speaker 3: killed people. You didn't think he's gonna hesitate fucking take
Speaker 3: out a dog and shit. But yeah, there was this
Speaker 3: ship I learned last night, chilling, which I didn't know. Man,
Speaker 3: and I've been alive since it happened. Wow, and still
Speaker 3: didn't know some shit. When it was all done, I
Speaker 3: turned it off and I looked at Jen and I was.
Speaker 1: Just like, that's Bill.
Speaker 2: I think this is spears.
Speaker 3: That's your daughter's rabbit. She goes your daughters too. I
Speaker 3: was like, she ain't my daughter. If she don't fucking
Speaker 3: get rid of that rabbit right now before cuts her
Speaker 3: juggler in the night. Oh myke, she's gonna he's gonna
Speaker 3: be sitting.
Speaker 1: There nibbling at her juggle like I'm almost there. He can't.
Speaker 2: His nails are large, sharp enough he would have.
Speaker 1: To bite, and he's like and then you realize he's
Speaker 1: talking to the cats. You're like, all you little pieces.
Speaker 1: And ship they've been planning a mutiny and ship and
Speaker 1: the cats. You should listen to your duddy. He said,
Speaker 1: if we was ever four times as big as we are,
Speaker 1: we'd kill you at a hard bat. He knows his
Speaker 1: subject matter bite, he had cats well, he was a boy.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: He knows the hatred in the heart of a feed line.
Speaker 2: He said that Bill knew about the earthquake before it.
Speaker 1: But we go kill all you people.
Speaker 3: Oh y'all, Oh no, the goodness is this something like
Speaker 3: Billy's picked up whipping cross room real hard?
Speaker 2: And then I would never even if he was.
Speaker 1: Trying to kill, I raised you something.
Speaker 2: The only one that would kill he is Steep b
Speaker 2: She wouldn't kill She's like a Manson type.
Speaker 3: She would orchestrate it from the side.
Speaker 1: She wouldn't get her.
Speaker 3: Fingers to say to you.
Speaker 1: What's her name? Again?
Speaker 2: I'm not going to tell you because you should know.
Speaker 3: There's MoU, there's the Jersey cat. There's a farkle nut.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: It's a boy's carl.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: There you go. He is steep crazy. Hey, yeah, go up.
Speaker 3: You should probably chew her jaicular Why did you should.
Speaker 1: Before they chew ours? Yeah? Yeah, either them or us?
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess it.
Speaker 3: Should be them should be. I'll watch, I'll make sure
Speaker 3: nobody comes in right here, go for the karate.
Speaker 2: It's right there. Carl would kill Austin.
Speaker 3: I think you have a chance and there's no criticism.
Speaker 2: Oh something fell on wu. Well you didn't like the story,
Speaker 2: but just under same, she didn't.
Speaker 3: Why when you were raised around dogs, very affectionate dogs,
Speaker 3: do you find yourself drawn to very sparsely affectionate pets,
Speaker 3: pets that make you.
Speaker 1: Work for it?
Speaker 2: You don't know moo like I know Moo.
Speaker 1: I know cats cats before you did moose. Have you
Speaker 1: ever had thirty cats at once?
Speaker 2: I have thirty? Those are We didn't even tell the
Speaker 2: story of how I saved a life yesterday.
Speaker 1: Oh to same all night.
Speaker 2: I was like Austin, I.
Speaker 1: Know, I'm sure you're like fucking remember.
Speaker 3: Uh, Puff, I I saved the cat today.
Speaker 2: Puff.
Speaker 3: I did not my dad it was he did everything,
Speaker 3: But today I saved the cat. Puff.
Speaker 1: This is the beginning of me.
Speaker 3: Time over, go get his jugular coat. Do you think
Speaker 3: if we put Biel in my parents' house my dad's.
Speaker 2: Jugular Do you think if I gave Bill a piece
Speaker 2: of pottery he wouldn't slice my desk.
Speaker 1: Because do loving fucking dogs all ship with his mean cats? No,
Speaker 1: why are you drawn?
Speaker 3: I mean another fluffy and ship and hello kitty and whatnot.
Speaker 3: But why do you they make your work? These two
Speaker 3: don't make your work. These two are like mood does
Speaker 3: not make me work, and you do is great to.
Speaker 2: Us every No, and my kid, I'm Bertie because I
Speaker 2: was never allowed to have a cat because someone was allarngic.
Speaker 2: But that was a lot.
Speaker 3: I had a cat when I entered.
Speaker 2: You know, that was a lot.
Speaker 1: Found it later on in life.
Speaker 3: I didn't know at the time, but I had a
Speaker 3: cat coming into the relationship. Tabitha, my beloved fucking cat.
Speaker 3: Mercifully Rachel took her and shut. But I'm sure as
Speaker 3: Tabitha left this best of all possible world she was,
Speaker 3: I wonder whatever happened to Kevin. That's so sad. It's
Speaker 3: probably true. It's a little cross that I'll be caring
Speaker 3: for this in my life.
Speaker 1: But good news.
Speaker 3: His cat size was tiny cat size girls.
Speaker 1: But yeah, there you.
Speaker 3: Know they make your work for it.
Speaker 2: Well again, you don't know, MoU every single time, I.
Speaker 3: Didn't do that with your male relationships like you. You know,
Speaker 3: I've seen two and it's not like you've found guys
Speaker 3: that made you work for it. If anything is more
Speaker 3: visive versa.
Speaker 2: No, I chased after Austin.
Speaker 3: Chase after is one thing, but make you work for it,
Speaker 3: like fucking you know, Like why are they still together?
Speaker 3: She must really love him and no, no, no, yeah,
Speaker 3: but that's what I think of when I think of
Speaker 3: you and your cats and your rabbit. It's like, why
Speaker 3: is she finding because it's not a two way street.
Speaker 2: I've never felt more loved by anyone.
Speaker 1: What the always remote.
Speaker 3: Final episode of Beardless, I Have to Go is like
Speaker 3: bring that show.
Speaker 1: Holy fuck, I.
Speaker 3: Gotta go.
Speaker 2: Every every night. Move sits on top of me because
Speaker 2: he loves me.
Speaker 3: I was trying to kill you waiting at Bob, but
Speaker 3: Bang the ball intentions are way different than yours.
Speaker 2: I gotta be as cluse as I possibly can so
Speaker 2: I can.
Speaker 1: Plot, so I love you until it's done. And it's done.
Speaker 3: When I say, Mommy, I'm in control here, don't you
Speaker 3: realize I'm God here?
Speaker 2: Mood doesn't think that way.
Speaker 1: I'm God here.
Speaker 3: Mommy's got that split personality like David Burko. It's the
Speaker 3: son of Sam and shit.
Speaker 2: No if anyone has announce.
Speaker 3: Where he's just like hey everybody, But inside it's like, Mommy,
Speaker 3: don't you know I'm the lord of death.
Speaker 2: You have a swlit personality.
Speaker 3: I'm the crimson Knight, my may and one night and
Speaker 3: blood will miss through the air when I take to
Speaker 3: the knife, the sanctified knife.
Speaker 2: I don't like this.
Speaker 1: That's what I see when I look at that cat.
Speaker 2: I don't go after your children, my sisters.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, that's because your siblings and they're
Speaker 3: also very affectionate and you can always tell where they stand.
Speaker 1: On any given it.
Speaker 2: And moo, is your grandson?
Speaker 3: Ask Walky about the quote unquote big Beautiful Bill. You're
Speaker 3: gonna get in near full.
Speaker 2: Wucky has opinions, and you don't think Carl has her
Speaker 2: opinions on the Big Beautiful Bill.
Speaker 3: Karl's opinions are just like Wendy when Daly.
Speaker 2: Suspicted and give you a cute gampa.
Speaker 1: May they get a load of me.
Speaker 3: Finish on a beautiful little cat story, a cat rescue story.
Speaker 3: Let me do my part, okay, Well open my office
Speaker 3: curtain windows. Two mornings ago saw a strange fucking sight
Speaker 3: cat with a collar outside my window. I guess he
Speaker 3: was mousing, you know, because we got a lot of
Speaker 3: birds and squirrels and rats, because rats live in these hills.
Speaker 3: But not the kind of rats like in the New
Speaker 3: York subway. Not pizza rat.
Speaker 1: That'd be cool, that'd be awesome.
Speaker 3: These are just woodland rats. Man. Ain't no different than
Speaker 3: the fucking squirrels and shirlling that.
Speaker 2: So they look like.
Speaker 3: We never see cats around here because we have coyotes
Speaker 3: in these hills, So any small fucking animals, you know,
Speaker 3: potentially you gotta keep it asking me. Never lets schecky
Speaker 3: out unless somebody was around and shit. So I see
Speaker 3: this cat and it's such a weird sight because I
Speaker 3: never see a fucking cat on this property and don't
Speaker 3: got two dogs and all. I guess it was like,
Speaker 3: oh shit, maybe he's like praying on whatever.
Speaker 2: Like the twenty years I lived here, never saw a cat.
Speaker 3: Never saw a street cat, straight cat, nothing.
Speaker 2: Like their cats. All outdoor cats buy me all the time.
Speaker 3: In my house I live in cro Oh yeah here
Speaker 3: no because probably the good cars racing up and down.
Speaker 2: But just know is coyote the coyotes.
Speaker 3: So I took a picture because I wanted to send
Speaker 3: it to Harley, and it was too early to send
Speaker 3: it because I know she sleeps until like four or
Speaker 3: five o'clock in the evening, and so I held on
Speaker 3: to it.
Speaker 1: It's rude.
Speaker 3: And then when Harley came over record yesterday, we were
Speaker 3: chit chatting with Jenny and then I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: hold on, I'm gonna send you guys a picture. And
Speaker 3: I texted them the picture of the cat that I
Speaker 3: had taken that morning.
Speaker 2: Yes, we were in the same room and he was
Speaker 2: right there, but he did.
Speaker 1: Text us, and Harley was like, oh my god, what
Speaker 1: I said.
Speaker 3: It's a cat I saw this morning when I woke
Speaker 3: up and ship and he was just outside the window.
Speaker 3: And we were all like, in that strange you never
Speaker 3: see a fucking stray cat around here, and he's a
Speaker 3: collar blah blah blah. And then while the Jen and
Speaker 3: Harley were fucking talking about the cat, I walked to
Speaker 3: the bedroom the bathroom window and looked out over my cafe,
Speaker 3: the squirrel cafe and birds and rats and rats the
Speaker 3: woodland cafe, and there was the cat just sitting in
Speaker 3: a loaf, just chilling out because there was no activity,
Speaker 3: no birds, no fucking squirrels, and it's because.
Speaker 1: The cat was just sitting there, and so I was like,
Speaker 1: come o from here.
Speaker 3: They came over. I was like, there it is, and
Speaker 3: I ran running and she almost threw herself out the
Speaker 3: window to rescue the cat that was in no jeopardy whatsoever,
Speaker 3: but it was, but it was alas it was. So
Speaker 3: Harley goes downstairs and does the whole But what is
Speaker 3: your thing?
Speaker 2: Did you hear it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: He kept doing it.
Speaker 3: I was like, no, cat noise?
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 2: You remember it?
Speaker 1: It was like.
Speaker 3: I was like, that's not can scare the cat?
Speaker 1: The cat?
Speaker 2: No we hosten. I saw video saying.
Speaker 1: That I don't want to say, I gotta say, what
Speaker 1: is it? Because you did it a bunch And I
Speaker 1: was like, who taught that?
Speaker 2: We saw video saying that this meant come here and cat.
Speaker 1: Which was what.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what she kept doing.
Speaker 1: She kept talking like a cat.
Speaker 2: In Linus makes that sound all the time.
Speaker 3: And to be fair, the cat was responding to it,
Speaker 3: and my cat came or maybe the cat was just like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, somebody's talking to me. This cat was
Speaker 3: familiar with people. He was no stray. Oh yeah, that
Speaker 3: became clear.
Speaker 2: He was so sweet At first when I went outside,
Speaker 2: he was doing that little thing that they do to birds,
Speaker 2: where they're.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, doing the mouthing, yeah, the mouthing yeah.
Speaker 2: And then he came over, well, actually she came over,
Speaker 2: and she was so friendly. She was making flops all
Speaker 2: over the place, rolling around me, letting me petal up,
Speaker 2: she was licking me. She was making muffins in the air.
Speaker 2: She was so sweet, making.
Speaker 3: Muffins in the air. That Kevin Smith story my next biography.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. But she was so skinny, very skinny.
Speaker 2: And I have a very skinny cat, Wieners from New Jersey,
Speaker 2: so I have.
Speaker 1: The opposite of a skinny cat.
Speaker 3: Was just not called for move man.
Speaker 1: Maybe he's trying to live up to the nickname you
Speaker 1: think Gods of Carol Fine, I was gonna get as
Speaker 1: big as one moony behaved bulger.
Speaker 2: Moves the sweetest in the world. Anyways. Oh he's so cute.
Speaker 2: I woke up today and he was in a crack
Speaker 2: between me and a pillow and he was on his
Speaker 2: back with all his legs up in the air asleep,
Speaker 2: and I was trick, Wow, this is a beautiful sight.
Speaker 1: Anyways, as little de bow as slumber lad Sweeper log
Speaker 1: on the sleeping time. I let the bed boats by.
Speaker 2: He didn't move for like fifteen hours. I was not asleep.
Speaker 2: Fifteen hour I.
Speaker 3: Went to bed.
Speaker 2: Right I woke up, he was still there. I left
Speaker 2: here and then I came back hours later and he
Speaker 2: was still there.
Speaker 3: Well, I gotta save up a lot of energy. I's
Speaker 3: got to show this weekend on the Beardlistic List. Move Yeah,
Speaker 3: beardistic Less Move live for the first and last time
Speaker 3: to small Castle Citables dot Comb.
Speaker 2: Heard that mom, Grandpa even news cat. Anyways, So this
Speaker 2: cat outside, yeah, yes, really skinny like Wieners. But Wieners
Speaker 2: eats all the time. She's just a runt.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Austin's mom has Wiener's siblings. They are normal sized.
Speaker 3: Yes, Wieners is one of Harley's fourteen cats.
Speaker 2: A Jersey cat, the one she got in New Jersey
Speaker 2: in the junk yard.
Speaker 3: Yeah, during the making of Clerks three.
Speaker 2: Yes, Wieners.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 2: And so at first I was like, oh, no, maybe
Speaker 2: the cat outside is hungry. So then you brought dog food,
Speaker 2: which she did not really respond to.
Speaker 3: I was like the gravy. Yeah, laughed at the gravy
Speaker 3: but did not eat the chunks.
Speaker 2: Uh, no, she didn't. And then you brought water and
Speaker 2: she kind of looked at it. But then I was
Speaker 2: trying to solve the mystery because she had a collar
Speaker 2: and it had a tracker, but it wasn't an air tag,
Speaker 2: so I was like, perhaps the tracker died.
Speaker 1: Good thought.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, but she's so skinny, maybe
Speaker 2: she's been out here for a long time or something.
Speaker 2: And then I saw her nails were clipped, and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, so this is somebody's cat.
Speaker 3: It is like one of the murder podcasts where all
Speaker 3: the clues are.
Speaker 2: Coming together were coming together. The nails are what really
Speaker 2: what really did it for me because they were clearly clipped.
Speaker 2: And Mom was like maybe she was like clawing on
Speaker 2: the floor and I was like, those are some clipped.
Speaker 1: Claws, silly woman, you know nothing about cats.
Speaker 2: Exactly.
Speaker 1: The aureded mom was.
Speaker 2: Mom was like, I will post pictures of her on
Speaker 2: the neighborhood watch, so take pictures.
Speaker 3: And I was like, Mom got involved.
Speaker 2: Mom got involved.
Speaker 3: Sidebar, Mom got involved. You did not?
Speaker 2: You delivered the food and then where you sat because
Speaker 2: we were.
Speaker 3: Supposed to be recording podcasts, so I was at my
Speaker 3: office door and when you needed your phone, I brought
Speaker 3: it to you.
Speaker 1: And when you need water for the cat, I brought
Speaker 1: it to you.
Speaker 3: So I would say I did about as much as mom.
Speaker 1: Why didn't you come out and play with a stranger's
Speaker 1: cat in the in the morning?
Speaker 3: Because when I opened the window, the cat went away.
Speaker 2: So I then the cat took a picture.
Speaker 3: You took a picture of the cat, yes, before I
Speaker 3: opened the window. So I took a picture of the cat.
Speaker 3: Then I opened the window to say hello, and the
Speaker 3: cat went away. So I was like, oh, I'm scaring
Speaker 3: the cat closed the window.
Speaker 2: I see, Well, the cat was not scared of me.
Speaker 3: No cat could sense You've got big cat energy and
Speaker 3: was just like, oh friend. But then I also you
Speaker 3: also have to remember I have two giant German shepherds.
Speaker 3: They were upstairs, not this, not in the morning when
Speaker 3: I first saw the cat. Before your little adventure begins,
Speaker 3: you got to remember you're a sequel to my cat story.
Speaker 3: I encountered the cat first, and I encountered with a
Speaker 3: couple of dogs. So if they had seen that cat,
Speaker 3: they would.
Speaker 1: Be like what the wolf, wolf wolf, motherfucker had wolf.
Speaker 3: We gotta deal with squirrels we gotta deal with birds,
Speaker 3: we gotta deal with the occasional rat and full and
Speaker 3: now a fucking cat is sitting in our fog let
Speaker 3: me had it?
Speaker 2: Oh no, this cow was so sweet. Mom texted the
Speaker 2: neighbor and was like, is this your cat? And she
Speaker 2: was like, no, but this I might know whose cat
Speaker 2: this is Louise. And then it was Louise's cat. And
Speaker 2: she she was this very nice older woman who lives
Speaker 2: in the neighborhood, who lives in the neighborhood, and she
Speaker 2: had been looking for her cat for two days, and
Speaker 2: so much so.
Speaker 3: That two days earlier I was sitting there talking to
Speaker 3: Mom in our bedroom and our you know, the windows
Speaker 3: were open, and we heard somebody going up and down
Speaker 3: the hill, going Margo and then Margo, and then finally
Speaker 3: I was like, Polo, and then she said Margo and
Speaker 3: I said Polo and it stopped. And the cat's name
Speaker 3: was Marco turned that the cat's name is Margot.
Speaker 2: Yes, And then when I told I told you her
Speaker 2: name was Margot.
Speaker 3: You were like, and I was like, yeah, I remember
Speaker 3: seeing the lady with her cane going up the hill.
Speaker 3: Never o courage to me. She was looking for a
Speaker 3: cat and the assumed a dog.
Speaker 2: She told me the tracker died, and she.
Speaker 3: You had so much, which is yes. And she thought
Speaker 3: the tracker died because the cat.
Speaker 1: Died came out.
Speaker 2: Yes, she thought that pray the cat was no longer
Speaker 2: with us.
Speaker 3: So how delighted was she to find Margo in one piece,
Speaker 3: so happy?
Speaker 2: And then I kept being like, oh, yeah, you're going
Speaker 2: home listen, and then she was I could be like, Marco,
Speaker 2: you get to be with your mom, you get to
Speaker 2: go home. And she was like, well, I actually have
Speaker 2: her mom at home. She had her cat. She has
Speaker 2: Margo's cat mom and Margo's cat siblings at home.
Speaker 3: So this is a lucky Birdie type situation.
Speaker 2: Yes, so Margo is not only being reunited with her
Speaker 2: humans but also her cat.
Speaker 3: I was doing the wrong song from the seventies. I
Speaker 3: should have been like we uh damn, I got Margo.
Speaker 1: And me Mi wow, and that.
Speaker 3: I'm just Gonna'm gonna put this out there, ready, and
Speaker 3: this is fucking serious, all joking aside. You hear a
Speaker 3: story like that, your iHeart, don't you go like, let's
Speaker 3: keep him so true?
Speaker 1: That's podcasting right there.
Speaker 2: The lego Margo's is what's gonna get us some Redowa.
Speaker 3: They're like, we want you to rename the show Margo,
Speaker 3: call it Margot Polo. I think that's very funny.
Speaker 2: We thought that was a very funny job. As if
Speaker 2: they listened to it at this point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, here we prove they don't listen to it.
Speaker 2: And with that, thank you for your time.
Speaker 3: We thank good folks that we thank.
Speaker 1: We think one guy, Daniel at our Heart.
Speaker 3: Has been absolute delight, wonderful guy. And whoever made our
Speaker 3: fucking deal. It was so baffling to me that we
Speaker 3: had to make a deal, but mercifully they did. Because
Speaker 3: I Heart doesn't own this podcast. We do just part
Speaker 3: of their boiler play. Deal was like we own a
Speaker 3: piece of it.
Speaker 2: Oh, we didn't play passion irrations. So at the live
Speaker 2: show that multi.
Speaker 3: Passion ration, we can do a quick one right here
Speaker 3: and watch this passion. It feels fucking cheap to be
Speaker 3: like the son the son of sam netflick Shew. Clearly
Speaker 3: I was passionate about it, talked about a good time.
Speaker 3: But since it's the last home ever, yeah, version of
Speaker 3: beardless dickless mate. And before we go into this, we
Speaker 3: think you the listening audience or viewing audience who've gone
Speaker 3: on this sonic journey with us, committed your time for
Speaker 3: the better part of the year. New things are coming, kids.
Speaker 3: We'll tell you about it on the live show. But
Speaker 3: until then, it's not goodbye until we see each other
Speaker 3: or hear each other again.
Speaker 2: What was it giving the Book of Poof in the book?
Speaker 3: What was the what was what was I just talking?
Speaker 3: Passion ration?
Speaker 2: I have a passion or your question passion ration passion?
Speaker 3: No, you said you had a question. I answered it.
Speaker 2: We didn't even talk about this passion ration the My
Speaker 2: Chemical Romance show.
Speaker 3: We'll talk about that in the after show.
Speaker 2: You're literally wearing your Black Parade.
Speaker 3: You're wearing my Black Parade shirt. We went to see
Speaker 3: my chem Uh dude, what is it? The Black Parade
Speaker 3: Forever or long lived the Black Parade? And so it's
Speaker 3: two concerts in one the whole album. And then they
Speaker 3: came out, took off their little out soldier boy outfits
Speaker 3: and just dressed cash and just played some fucking music.
Speaker 3: So charmed by both shows. But the second show he
Speaker 3: comes out Gerard and he's just like, we are My
Speaker 3: Chemical Romance and he's like, come on, bro, we know
Speaker 3: in the first was also My Chemical Romance, but he
Speaker 3: kind of can't introduce themselves like they were a barb
Speaker 3: in but he said that was their first ever stadium tour.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in the first half was Theatrice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he came off like an art school kid. Man.
Speaker 1: They had the whole.
Speaker 2: Created their own country, their own language there.
Speaker 3: It was framed as a like dictatorship autocratic country of
Speaker 3: concert that was being thrown on a kind of country
Speaker 3: for an autocratic leader who sat in the audience and
Speaker 3: had people shot at one point.
Speaker 1: All was wild.
Speaker 3: It was nuts, but it was so well staged and
Speaker 3: just beautiful, so good. And then the second half was
Speaker 3: also just fucking equally cool, where it's like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: these kids, these kids from Jersey, local Jersey band.
Speaker 1: Had to support.
Speaker 2: Of course I cried so much, Yeah she did.
Speaker 3: I kept looking over it.
Speaker 1: Now. I love them when I was young.
Speaker 3: That's what happens, man. Yes, you get older and you realize.
Speaker 1: Wait a second, I've been into them since I was
Speaker 1: eleven or twelve. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: They are probably the only band that I know besides
Speaker 2: Whole Hole and My Chemical Romance are the only bands
Speaker 2: that I know the entire.
Speaker 3: Discography of you know every song and could sing every song. Yes,
Speaker 3: and for your listening pleasure, Harley will now sing a
Speaker 3: piece of every mi chem song action and here I go.
Speaker 1: People like that, Okay, I'm not okay with this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, be at the live show Kids Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday,
Speaker 3: August August, the day after I turned fifty five Man
Speaker 3: twenty bucks.
Speaker 2: My dad is actually going to tap dance while I
Speaker 2: sing my comic.
Speaker 3: Crab walk in, Crab Walk out, Crab walk In, Crab
Speaker 3: Walk out, Crab Walk.
Speaker 2: For a two hour set of my chemical Romances.
Speaker 3: Doing squat thrusts for the last two weeks just so
Speaker 3: I could crab walk in walk out grad Walk. But
Speaker 3: in any event, yes, the show was spellbinding.
Speaker 2: To say the least, absolutely amazing.
Speaker 3: Those Way boys there were many Ways, but two of
Speaker 3: them all and the other ones and the rest you
Speaker 3: know their names.
Speaker 2: Frank Iero and Ray Torol. So there's just the four
Speaker 2: of them, and then there's there's four core members, and
Speaker 2: then there's the drummer, and there was a keyboardist.
Speaker 3: It's fucking nuts, like he is wonderful to watch him
Speaker 3: fucking every once in a while, like people will go
Speaker 3: see my show. And the compliment that I love is like,
Speaker 3: I love seeing you do your thing. And that's how
Speaker 3: I felt watching that. I was like, oh, I love
Speaker 3: seeing him do his thing. He's in crazy fucking talented
Speaker 3: little pixie, that guy because when he's not like fucking
Speaker 3: commanding how many people and Dodger Stadium so fifty sixty thousand.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know. It took two hours
Speaker 2: to leave the parking lots, So that gives you an idea.
Speaker 1: He commanded that stage like a goddamn pro.
Speaker 3: And then this is a guy who can write comics
Speaker 3: like a pro and then make the fucking you know,
Speaker 3: TV show like a pro. And does he does he
Speaker 3: do the TV show or they just adapt it from
Speaker 3: his steps?
Speaker 1: He actively involved, he was it was at one point,
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, he was.
Speaker 3: Deeply involved in like working on the d C comics
Speaker 3: for a while there when he was was a Young Animal.
Speaker 1: It was his label Big.
Speaker 3: Young Animals, Yes, logo his imprint in DC. I absolutely
Speaker 3: love that kid. If you ever fucking bored and you're like,
Speaker 3: I've always wanted to listen to a fucking Z list director,
Speaker 3: talk to the musical genius.
Speaker 1: About the.
Speaker 3: I did an episode of podcast years ago with with
Speaker 3: Way and Mikey Way where we listened to Welcome to
Speaker 3: the Black Parade and line by line and I would
Speaker 3: pause and be like, what does that mean that?
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
Speaker 3: And they would tell me stories and be like, Oh,
Speaker 3: it's about this, blah blah blah, how did you do that?
Speaker 1: Why why did you write that? What does that mean?
Speaker 1: And it was great.
Speaker 3: It's like two hours fucking long.
Speaker 2: A lot of people were on Instagram saying that you
Speaker 2: should have them back and.
Speaker 3: Do another podcast. Yeah, well, we're going to have them
Speaker 3: on the next podcast we're going to do.
Speaker 1: I'll take you well, yes, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I know what you say.
Speaker 1: You'll be away or two.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, that's gonna be good times.
Speaker 1: Because we may be done. We may be putting beardless, dickless.
Speaker 3: Me to bed, but me and a kid are going
Speaker 3: to keep talking to each other until it irritates.
Speaker 1: The funk out of all of you.
Speaker 3: I will keep keep talking to each other until we're
Speaker 3: that girl with the very successful podcast or that boy
Speaker 3: with the other successful podcast. So true, we want to
Speaker 3: be them.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be on the why list, I
Speaker 1: won't be at least on the list, I won't be.
Speaker 2: So passion irration, the mind kem concert, big.
Speaker 3: Passion, huge passion. I look not only did I use
Speaker 3: Welcome to the Black Parade to open Clerks three expertly
Speaker 3: on My Dad as a beautiful little montage. You can
Speaker 3: hate the rest of that movie if you want, but
Speaker 3: the opening shows so much promise. It's true, but the
Speaker 3: open does prepare you for the end because it is very,
Speaker 3: you know, melancholy, and you're like, why because there happenings
Speaker 3: such a good time, And then by the end of
Speaker 3: the movie you're like.
Speaker 1: Oh god, it was right what I carry on?
Speaker 3: Me?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 3: But also Gerard did.
Speaker 1: The why Okay?
Speaker 2: Can you use that in two movies?
Speaker 3: It's so beautiful? I always felt bad that, Like it
Speaker 3: is honestly one of the most beautiful pieces of music
Speaker 3: I've ever heard, definitely the best rendition of that fucking
Speaker 3: old ditty from like the fourteen hundreds or something like that.
Speaker 3: But I always felt like, oh my god, it ends dusk,
Speaker 3: like you got a lot you gotta sit through tusking
Speaker 3: order to get to the beauty of that song.
Speaker 1: Why Hello?
Speaker 3: But when I when I was doing Clark's three. I
Speaker 3: was like, you know what, man, I'm not that song's perfect.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna use that song again. So I got to
Speaker 3: use it fucking twice. But in any event, amazing concert.
Speaker 3: Thank you for taking making us go. Because can you
Speaker 3: call your cake?
Speaker 1: This is your friend? To him, he was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, please. He was very cool about it. He
Speaker 1: wasn't like, h another fucking hand out. God, damn it,
Speaker 1: this ain't Jersey.
Speaker 2: I posted a carousel post of many pictures of me crying,
Speaker 2: and then I did remember that him and his beautiful
Speaker 2: talented wife Lindsey Wade follow me on.
Speaker 1: Instagram, so they saw your shit.
Speaker 2: It's possible and I was like, oh, well, I've exposed myself.
Speaker 3: Do you think so In the second half of the show,
Speaker 3: they do songs from the other albums, and they apparently,
Speaker 3: you know, they did a they'll be doing a cover.
Speaker 3: Do you think they do a cover every night?
Speaker 2: Or no?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Do you think since they do as a grab bag
Speaker 3: of songs that changes every night? He indicated the second half,
Speaker 3: not the first, that first half as they do, they
Speaker 3: change that order of Is that right? Yeah? So sometimes
Speaker 3: they'll open with when I was I was shocked at
Speaker 3: how early they played it because I was like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, I assumed you're gonna make us all weight,
Speaker 3: You're gonna edge us.
Speaker 2: No, they played us, played song in.
Speaker 3: They were like fucking everyone was doing it. But wait
Speaker 3: a second, what was the point I was doing? Oh
Speaker 3: so in the second half, do you.
Speaker 2: I think they're going to cover Cinnamon?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Did you imagine He's like, we got this song that
Speaker 3: we want to cover me You guys ever see Clerks?
Speaker 1: All right? So you know the guy that isn't even
Speaker 1: in your fantasy. I'm like, and he says my name
Speaker 1: on stage? The Uh what was my point? I was
Speaker 1: about to make a good point.
Speaker 2: Almost he's going to cover a song?
Speaker 1: Oh do you think he'll do maybe? Because that was
Speaker 1: him solo.
Speaker 2: I don't think so. No, I don't think so.
Speaker 3: Banger.
Speaker 1: I want to use that in a movie one day.
Speaker 2: So great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh passion, nothing but passion for that Mike Chemp
Speaker 3: concert here highest comblin. I could pay. I'd go back again,
Speaker 3: I know you would. But that's well he did look
Speaker 3: to see they're going to Jersey. I know it's because Ashley,
Speaker 3: that's Modcastle was like, I mean, bro, if you want
Speaker 3: to stick around. It's literally the nice seeing Mike Cam
Speaker 3: in Jersey, bitch. I know, I'm just saying, I know
Speaker 3: that's where you're from.
Speaker 2: I would like to see them. I can't remember wearing Canada,
Speaker 2: but at some point they are going to play in
Speaker 2: some place in Canada and Pixies are opening for them.
Speaker 3: Oh seriously, I can't remember wearing Canada. Canada don't want
Speaker 3: you right now, I know, but I want Canada.
Speaker 1: White and blue blooded pieces.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh god, why not go to the Jersey show
Speaker 3: and see them in their fucking power center where they
Speaker 3: were born and fucking wake of September eleventh, Man W.
Speaker 3: Gerard Way was like no, and started writing fucking anthems.
Speaker 1: For an entire generation.
Speaker 3: It's true, not just Jersey kids, but the world. Something
Speaker 3: the thing about any event. Passion for the content. Here's
Speaker 3: my say less indeed, here is fucking most of the
Speaker 3: reviews on this podcast, both of them.
Speaker 1: Passion. I have a passion, my heir ration, passion.
Speaker 3: I'll start passion. We should start positive passion for uh
Speaker 3: recording a podcast with my kids, good times, wonderful times.
Speaker 3: Forcing you to hang out with me. My money is
Speaker 3: the smartest thing.
Speaker 1: I ever did.
Speaker 2: Know I'd hang out with you any ration ever.
Speaker 3: We should have been for free, so be it.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, half the time I got my
Speaker 2: heart there you go.
Speaker 1: Lot less of that, but not Dane passion.
Speaker 2: For Dane, passion for Daniel rash for the rest by heart.
Speaker 1: What's your passion?
Speaker 3: Ration? Um My, do you hear that? Yeah? Like she stomps, like, honestly,
Speaker 3: there are three people in this house right now, people humans,
Speaker 3: not counting the dogs, and Lucky's pretty big, but there
Speaker 3: are three adult human beings. And to look at us,
Speaker 3: all lined up like Russian fucking nesting dolls, you would
Speaker 3: assume that that's me walking upstairs. And yet I move.
Speaker 3: Your mother once said like hippone ninja hip.
Speaker 1: I would say, she said that, I said that, so
Speaker 1: that fucking boom boom boom bober.
Speaker 3: Fucking but bubbles.
Speaker 1: And she knows it too.
Speaker 3: I was like, what do you walk on? And she's
Speaker 3: just she's real. Maybe I'm a toe heel person. She
Speaker 3: is heel toe and she is hard on the heel,
Speaker 3: like I would hate to have her arches. Listen, I'm
Speaker 3: all may.
Speaker 1: Stomp stomp, noney event.
Speaker 3: Passion I ration.
Speaker 2: Passion, Yeah, uh no, I'll start with ration to end
Speaker 2: on a positive note.
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3: One of the longest episodes of the show, makes Sense,
Speaker 3: one of the last makes Sense, the last home show ever.
Speaker 3: Ration ninety minute extravagan is a lot more ads for
Speaker 3: iHeart to stick in there every three minutes.
Speaker 2: Ration your series that my children want to kill me.
Speaker 1: You know what, that's fair?
Speaker 3: Thank you? And passion.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have two okay, one of my children. Okay,
Speaker 2: I have three, I.
Speaker 1: Have three.
Speaker 2: One yes, one of my children can predict natural disasters.
Speaker 1: Yeah, two yeah, more that move useful.
Speaker 2: Animals sleeps on me because he loves me so much.
Speaker 3: That's a passion it is. I love it here into
Speaker 3: that I feel very touch like more loves of everything else.
Speaker 2: In third Woking is recording a podcast.
Speaker 1: In my dad, Oh word, come up with that? O,
Speaker 1: my lord, I feel.
Speaker 3: I take it back.
Speaker 2: It's no, it's it's actually been so much fun and
Speaker 2: a lot of the time I come it is. Uh.
Speaker 1: We are known.
Speaker 2: For getting together to record the podcast and then and
Speaker 2: then not recording the podcast because we just love to
Speaker 2: hang out.
Speaker 3: It's true.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 3: It's it's a high compliment that sometimes we're gathered through
Speaker 3: the show, and we don't do the show, you know,
Speaker 3: outside to do that. But Scott Moser sometimes there'd be
Speaker 3: times we were just chit chatting ship and then it
Speaker 3: was like, oh shit, I've been into the show, let's
Speaker 3: do it tomorrow.
Speaker 2: It's every time I come home from coming here, Austin's like,
Speaker 2: did you record?
Speaker 3: And I'm like no.
Speaker 1: He puts his money out, looking for the looking for
Speaker 1: the money. Did you record? Can I handle my own money? No?
Speaker 1: You can't be trusted with your own money. Did you
Speaker 1: record you?
Speaker 2: Did you know that? Actually?
Speaker 3: Never mind.
Speaker 1: Save that for the after show.
Speaker 3: You would hate it. Save that for the after What
Speaker 3: were you doing on the after show?
Speaker 1: Where I was like, tune into the after show where
Speaker 1: I'll share it with you.
Speaker 2: Was it passion irration?
Speaker 1: No, we did that on this show.
Speaker 2: I just thought I'm an idea for the live show.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you later.
Speaker 3: The audience is like, great, that's why you guys don't
Speaker 3: have a fucking current show. There was something I was like, I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna do it on passion I ration.
Speaker 3: If only we could rewind Oh well, kids, a bit
Speaker 3: of a fuddling ending to beardless dickless me.
Speaker 1: The last ever home.
Speaker 3: Show right here in the home.
Speaker 2: Can you believe it?
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 3: We've had a long time to build up too, so
Speaker 3: I'm ready. I'm ready for the next incarnation and you
Speaker 3: should be two kids, wait to see what we're gonna do.
Speaker 2: It is so much better.
Speaker 1: I mean, there it is.
Speaker 3: Kids, there's your beardless stickless me forever.
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Until the next one, which is the last one live.
Speaker 3: Come to this podcastle cinemons and watch this happen live
Speaker 3: kids on Sunday twenty bucks. Come on cheap show and
Speaker 3: then stay around afterwards and see Yo Go hos act.
Speaker 1: Yo goss with an audience.
Speaker 3: I was walking today with the dogs and I was like,
Speaker 3: maybe I can Rocky horror that shit, like everybody rote
Speaker 3: toast right now, like stop trying to Rocky, stop trying
Speaker 3: to make Rocky happen.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, sing along to the Canadian anthem or like.
Speaker 3: When you're like I'm not everyone does it Unison and
Speaker 3: a bunch of like colleens are up on the stage
Speaker 3: doing it.
Speaker 1: At the time.
Speaker 2: Everyone's crying, let's not do this. You should do that
Speaker 2: at your theater.
Speaker 1: Bro.
Speaker 3: I was thinking about it today.
Speaker 1: I was walking the dogs.
Speaker 3: I was like, you know, like that'd be like, maybe
Speaker 3: I need to Rocky Horror myself rather than wait for people.
Speaker 1: That's what happened.
Speaker 3: Rocky Heart just happened naturally. And ship maybe I can
Speaker 3: engineer that. I was like, all right, everybody, here's the
Speaker 3: script I wrote. When it's raining out, you've got to
Speaker 3: pull out the square guns and you're popping up in
Speaker 3: the err.
Speaker 1: Like doesn't rain in your movie prey, good point. Let
Speaker 1: me think I thought I did was steal the rain
Speaker 1: from the rock Yard thing I saw him fame.
Speaker 3: Well, I have no plan beyond that. Should we watch yoga?
Speaker 1: No? No, not thetheless throwing toast? Please God, No, feel
Speaker 1: free toast if you want to. That's what you gotta do.
Speaker 3: That was burn kids, there's your beardless stickles me until
Speaker 3: the live show for beardless stickless me. I'm a very
Speaker 3: proud dad Kevin.
Speaker 2: Smith, and I'm a very proud bull owner and daughter of.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 3: Wow took ment to land that fucking rocket ship. Hey
Speaker 3: go have them for beardless I said that part. Yeah,
Speaker 3: go have a beardless dickless day. This has been a
Speaker 3: podcast production podcast podcast using our mouths on You since
Speaker 3: two thousand and seven, Hey kids, did you like what
Speaker 3: you just heard? Well, guess what. We've got tons more
Speaker 3: man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you at
Speaker 3: that kevinsmithclub dot com.
Speaker 1: Go sign up now,