There is very little time or point in an explanation. To be blunt,
the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has collapsed at
a quantum level, rendering it null and void in terms of existence.
Operational time in the dimensional continuum where the beings that created the
audio collapsed in on itself, rendering all of their civilization,
including technology, null and void. Timelines across the entire continuum
are collapsing and changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers
on Cinema Sylops.
10 years. Man 10. 10 years.
10 years. Man 10 years.
10 years.
10. 10 years. 10 years.
What is the most likely way humanity. Will be wiped out? Maybe it's something.
Or us. Although the way the world ends might be because of
you. And if this is the case, you. Wouldn'T have any control over it.
The global temperature rise underscores a chilling reality.
Our planet is trying to tell us. Something, but we don't
seem to be listening. A recent study has suggested that one. Third of annual
deaths due to heat are directly related to global warming.
On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear
light, which is 180 million degrees, which catches everything, everything on fire
in a nine mile diameter radius. On top of the bulldozing effect
of the wind and all the buildings coming down, and more fires igniting
more fires on top of the radiation, if they happen to have survived
poisoning people to death. On top of all that, each one of these
fires creates a mega fire that is a hundred
or more square miles.
Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing.
The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema Psyops.
A breathtaking scientific revolution is taking place.
Biotechnology has been progressing at stunning speed,
giving us the tools to eventually gain control over biology.
Solving the deadliest diseases while also creating.
Viruses more dangerous than nuclear bombs,
able to devastate humanity. It's man returning
to the most primal, violent state as
people fight over the tiny resources
that remain. What if the world we live in is just a dream or
a simulation? Whether it's a dream or some advanced. Computer game
you are playing right now, when it ends, you would be what causes the end
of the world. Please do us all a favor. Continue dreaming or
playing this game of life. Because when you wake up or unplug,
there's a chance the rest of us. Will be blaked out of existence. Timelines across
the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction
has a nexus that centers on Cinema syn.
10 years. 10 years.
Hello.
And welcome to the 492nd consecutive week
of Cinema Psyops. I'm your host, Court, the guy that's still Loving
going through all of these Kaiju films and watching giant monsters
shit up. And joining me in the joy of that is my co host,
Matt. Kaiju for the win.
Fuck it. I'm into the Kaiju. This has been a great way to
kind of end our year 10, you know, giant monsters.
Japan up. Well, it's low stakes for us Americans because,
you know, we're not involved. Well, yeah, I think Japan is more concerned
with things that are happening on its own borders, but I'm sure that other monsters
are fucking up shit other places in the world. Yeah, we do see that occasionally.
Like in my movie, King Ghidorah ends up in America. They say in the dub.
Oh, yeah, that's true, they do. None of the signage looks like America, but I'm
just saying. But we were having a good time before all that.
Yeah. We're not immune, though, because we definitely get fucked with. I mean.
Yeah, we get King Kong. That's our American. American Kaiju. Yeah. Giant ape.
Woohoo. I'm not. I'm not a huge Kong
fan. I'd like to. I've come to like Kong on
his own, as is. Yeah. But you know, I'm always going to be Team Godzilla.
Like, I'm just. I'm a hardcore Godzilla fan and I'm. I'm unapologetically going
to always hate any other Kaiju that isn't Godzilla or
works with Godzilla. Like, damn. When. When Godzilla and
the other Kaijus are friends. Because that ends up happening in some of these films
where, like, he develops, like, buddies and everything. Like, I'm cool with
those, but like, anytime that they're with Godzilla, it's. It doesn't
matter if they're your family or not. Like, it's the opposite team,
and you're just not going to root for the opposite team. And that's not how
it's going to. Work, how we do things around here.
Right. It's Team Godzilla all the time up here in this house for me.
Yeah. Only Team Godzilla in the courthouse.
Oh, Jesus Christ. I think we've probably pattered out enough for the
front of the film. I've got plenty of clips. Some of them are significantly longer
than others because all of this is expository dialogue that thankfully was
in English in this Dutch, and therefore I don't have to write that much.
Yeah, yeah. Well, that's good too. Yeah. And if you got to
get going, you lucky bastard. Yeah, and if you got to get going and we
got to drop clips out from our recording just to get. You so far,
I'm pretty good on time, so. All right, well, let's get after it then.
And then stop fucking around. Once again, pirate radio edit for
this week. Since the film was released in 1965
for invasion of the Astro Monster, we're going to do all songs also
released in 1965. Up first for that is Sam the Sham
and the Pharaohs with the song Wooly Bully on the pirate radio edit
right after this. This'll keep. Oh, that's odd.
What's up? Well, all of the sensors around the outside perimeter of the lab
have been tripping, as if something's kind of walking its way around trying to
work its way in. Really? Yeah, that's concerning.
Nah, I think it'll be fine. I mean, if it gets in, we got plenty
of other security protocols. You're playing fast and loose with this wait
and see attitude you got. Hey, I think I might have actually developed something
pretty fucking useful out of the temporal distortions that result
from the time ch. Wow, really? What's that? I think I may have found
a way to wipe away memories. Really? You mean more
than alcohol? No, I mean, like, permanently. I mean, that's what
I use alcohol for. No, I mean, like, this will be gone unless
I undo it. Yeah, I get it. We're saying the same thing, but what do
you got there? No, what this does is actually gets rid of the thing that
happened to you. You mean, so it didn't happen? Kind of. Or at least
your brain thinks it didn't happen. Well, yeah, that's what alcohol does. Really?
Yeah, for me. But I've abused it for a lot of years, so,
you know. Well, then you would probably be the perfect subject to test.
This sounds good. What would be a really good memory that you don't want to
lose? Why do we always have to start there? Because it's the only way I'm
gonna know for sure that it works. All right. My son's birth. Oh,
okay. Think really, really hard about that. Okay.
Okay, now put this on your head. Okay. I'm gonna develop a smaller
version that's remote from here. Yeah, you're gonna want to do that. This seems needlessly
clumsy. Well, I really like the movie brainstorm from the
80s that starred Christopher Walken, and I really wanted it to look like that.
Dude, you really got to get off of wanting things from the movies o
him more convenient. Okay, let's see if I can get this to work.
Okay, so tell me everything you can remember about the birth of your son.
Who? Your son. Who? Oh, Boy, I may need to calibrate this.
Yeah, Sorry, but who. You have a kid? I. I do. I do. Oh,
boss, talk to me. Hey, can you tell me real quick? Yeah. Who's the mother?
Oh, okay, hang on. Not a problem. All right. Okay, I'm gonna try
the undo thing here. All right, Now I'm gonna be really sorry
because if I get this wrong, you're gonna remember everything that you were blackout
drunk. Okay. And here we go.
Oh, that's cringy. No. Oh. Oh,
totally embarrassing. Strangely erotic.
Ah. No. Oh, God.
Okay, I'm gonna have to calibrate this, but the device seems to work.
Yeah, actually, it does seem to do its job. Who are you again?
Jesus Christ. Okay, look, we're gonna have to fix this.
Yeah, I would say so. Fix what? It appeals to
me the idea that we could have used this for another movie
that maybe had King Kong in it or something that was actually kind of wooly.
Woolly? We didn't really. We didn't really get wooly
bullies. We just got more like alien terrestrial things. Yeah,
okay, stop. So that we can actually talk about Invasion of the astro
monster from 1965. All right, fine. The film opens
with two subtitle cards I took the photos
of. So let me pull those up real quick. In 19.6x.
Whatever that's supposed to be that is all about. Yeah. A mysterious
new world dubbed Planet X was discovered in our
solar system. And after those two subtitled
little cards pieces that pop up, we get a shot of a spaceship and some
expository dialogue. Thank fuck. And that is our first clip.
Ah, this is the way. Fuji. It's time to contact wsa.
Okay. Glenn. Calling Space Authority.
World Space Authority, this is Spaceship P1.
Spaceship P1 calling World Space Authority.
WSA Control, over. Please check coordinates X
2.4 Y 3.30,
Z 0.02. Speed 1000 kilometers
per second. We are on course for Planet X in The Scorpion
constellation. Time? Sidereal 23:59 hours,
30 seconds, over. Right. Correct. Your speed?
005. Corrected. Speed is 0.005.
Good. How are you feeling? You all right? We are working
and sleeping. Okay. We would just like to get a little exercise.
Well, on Planet X, you'll get plenty.
Doctor? Yes, Fuji. Is Haruni with you?
One second. No, not now. Would you give her a message?
Yes. Tell her not to do anything foolish.
Foolish? Tell her not to do anything until I can get there.
Okay. Out. What's so funny? You should have left your sister packed
in ice. You don't Understand? Ah, thank you.
Did you and Fuji disagree? He treats me like a child.
Always tells me what to do. Men can always be so unreasonable.
I'm sorry. You don't have to apologize. You found someone you like?
Fuji doesn't approve. Yes? Oh, we've been looking for you, miss. You've kept
us waiting. I'm so sorry. Doctor, these are the reporters.
Oh, yes. I'll come right in. This friend of yours, what does he do?
He's an inventor. Inventor?
Hitsui san. Can't you stop that? Terrible.
No. Driving me crazy. And you're keeping the baby awake. Oh,
good. Tell me, how far away could you hear it? Hear it?
You can hear it way down the street. Hey, the range is getting
good. I wonder why I can't sell this. Good idea.
Tech Sauer. I've already turned it off.
Telephone. Just a minute. I wonder who's calling me on
the telephone. Thank you. Okay. Hello? Yeah, this is Tetsuiteri.
What contract? Dr. Sakurai, the newly discovered
planet is located just beyond the body we know as Jupiter.
Is that correct, sir? True. Why wasn't it discovered before?
Planet X is very dark. We cannot observe it with telescopes.
The new planet was discovered by Central Observatory while they were tracing
strange radio waves. Gentlemen, I can now announce to you that Planet
X has been causing our recent magnetic disturbances.
Doctor, is there intelligent life on Planet X? We can't tell yet.
It's possible that there is. But the radio waves are not necessarily
human. We expect to learn a lot from P1. Ted.
Zooey. Yes? Isn't this expensive? Can you afford?
Sure. Don't worry. I sold the invention.
Ah, really? Tonight I get the contract.
Who's taking it? An international company. World Education Corporation.
A toy manufacturer. Oh, toys? It's no toy.
Oh, but you are Mr. Terry? Yeah,
that's right. I'm Ms. Namakawa from the World Education Corporation.
I'd like to get down to business. We have here our standard contract which
calls for payment when your invention is marked at it. Is that agreeable?
Oh, sure. Okay. Yes?
Is this your wife? Not yet. She's my girlfriend.
Ms. Haruni Fuji. How do you do? You work at World
Space Authority and your brother is an astronaut.
Oh, you know my brother? No, but World
Education Corporation is extremely interested in his space activities.
And we're following his trip dialing. Doesn't it seem odd?
What's odd? Your invention giving you
$100,000. Is it worth that much?
While you and your brother are preoccupied with space, there's money being made
here on Earth. You two Underrate me, huh?
Silly. Your brother thinks I'm a failure. I wish he were
here so I could tell him about the hundred thousand dollars. I'd really
stand him on his head.
Glenn, what's the problem?
Oh, yeah, let's see. Yep, we're 180
degrees off. My mistake. Sorry, old buddy.
Luigi. It's Jupiter. Yep. And on the
other side of it, Planet X.
Planet X. There she is. Calling World Space Authority.
World Space Authority, this is spaceship P1.
Over. This is Space Authority. Go ahead. Over.
We are now approaching planet Planet X.
Be very careful. Yes, sir.
After landing, may we act on our own judgment?
I cannot lead you men by the hand from here.
Space crew, any questions? You understand?
We understand. You sound like a teenager's father.
Lost contact. They are now on the blind side of Jupiter.
Do you see anything? Yeah.
Strange. That blue spot looks like a big grass plain. But maybe it's the sea.
Right. Let's get ready. Check your readings.
The radar thermometer is reading 15 degrees.
Oh, so far from the sun. That's a high temperature.
It's the universe. Nobody knows its secret. They touch down on the planet
and one of the astronauts starts to explore the surface of the planet.
The other calls down to ask how it is down there. Then they themselves take
the elevator from the rocket opening to the surface of the planet.
There's some really decent model work in this to sell the scale of the rocket.
And you can tell that there's like two little fake dudes that are around the
elevators when the elevators are moving. But it's just enough
of a scale to where unless you're really paying attention to it, I think it'll
still trick your brain. And the elevator motion was actually really cool
with the way that they animated it and stuff. It's all pretty well done that
they really threw some money at this sequence for no reason other than just
to sell them landing on a foreign planet, right? Yeah, right. Yeah.
But hey, it works. The pair meet up on the surface and plan where to
plant the flag. As one of them sets up some of their equipment to
study the planet in some way, shape or form, they start discussing it.
So that's expository dialogue and our second clip.
Glenn, let's plant the flag on that ridge.
In the meantime, I'll set up the telemeter.
Fuji. The gravity is two thirds of
that of the Earth. And the pressure is about half. That's another surprise.
Eyes.
Lui. What was that? Thunder and
lightning. Are you all right?
All in order. Okay.
Hey there, Glenn. Be on Your guard
footprints.
Glenn Dancer. Hello?
Glenn. Glenn.
Glenn. Glenn. Where's the ship?
Glenn. Glenn. Glenn,
come back. Answer. Where are you?
Esperant Fuji. Please step into this cylinder. Who are you? I am
the controller of Planet X. You will not be harmed.
But I insist that you enter this cylinder without delay. No, thanks.
I'm sorry, Astronaut Fuji, but I must insist.
Your fellow astronauts. Astronaut. And your spaceship are here
with us. So you will step into the cylinder, please.
All right. All right. Doctor.
Contact is now 20 minutes overdue.
Did you check all of the circuits? Yes, I did.
Doctor. Doctor. Don't worry.
I have faith in these men. They are intelligent and well
trained astronauts. We'll hear from them.
They'll follow the light. The light is your
guide. Glenn.
Glenn, are you all right? Glenn? Yeah, you? I'm okay.
Gentlemen, remain where you are. We welcome you.
Won't you kindly seat yourselves and be comfortable?
I'm controller of Planet X. And I've
invited you here to discuss something
that's very important. Discuss?
Discuss what? Where's our spaceship? Don't worry,
it's safe. You see,
you can depend upon what I tell you.
The monster again. 0. Monster 0.
Command all units to take defensive position.
Yes, sir. What is Monster Zero? The demon of our galaxy.
Monster Zero is the reason we cannot live on the surface,
but must forever live underground. Like this.
Alert all units. Monster has begun the attack.
At what point? 03M7.
O3M7. All right, I will
show you. Monster Zero.
Hey, Lookhidora. Yes,
indeed, on Earth. You gave
this terrifying monster the name of Ghidorah.
Everything is numbered here. The monster is
Zero. Can't you drive it away?
If you have an idea how to do it, won't you tell us?
Gentlemen, we have tried every force known to us.
We can't kill him. We have failed.
What are you gonna do now? Just wait till
it goes away.
Surface caving in at sector 15. Move all
defensive units into sector 15 and clean it up immediately.
Emergency. Emergency. The hydrogen oxide plant has been damaged.
If we are to maintain control.
Something serious must have happened, old buddy.
Yeah, and they don't want us to know about it.
Any country would do the same for secrecy.
Hydrogen oxide. Hey, Hydrogen oxide
is water. Yeah, it's water. Ladies,
gentlemen, I'm glad to advise you that Monster Zero
has now gone. What else happened? An industrial
accident in Sector 15 caused by an oversight.
However, the emergency has now passed and we are all safe,
including you. Glad to hear that. Now, what else you got to
tell us? We need an exterminator,
a plan that will destroy King Ghidorah.
We wish to borrow from you on earth the Monster 01
and Monster 02.
Godzilla and Rodan. Are you serious?
Of course, Deadly serious. King Ghidorah
was driven from Earth, but only by the combined strength of Godzilla
and Rodan. Will you help us?
Well, your request is unusual.
We don't know how to answer that first place. We don't even know where Godzilla
Radon are. Even if we did, how would we capture them and bring them here?
Godzilla is in Japan. He is submerged in Lake
Myotin. Rodan is a Washikasawa. And we
merely seek permission to operate freely on Earth to capture the two demons.
If Earth will cooperate, we are prepared to pay her.
Your medical men on Earth have not yet achieved cures for all disease.
Is that correct? Our scientific research is considerably
advanced. We are prepared, therefore, to give
you a miracle drug that will cure all disease.
Please explain our desperate need to your people on Earth and
help us obtain their cooperation. Yes, sir.
We'll do our very best. Right, Glenn.
Condition green. You are cleared for immediate takeoff.
We wish you a safe journey. Thank you.
We're glad we found friends on Planet X. Goodbye. Till we meet again.
Yeah. The big difference between your movie last week and my movie this week is
all of the dialogue could be used as clips for me. Yeah,
yeah, right. You had to explain what was going on from all of the dialogue.
I had to let everyone know all the horseshit. With that,
the astronauts are sent home in their ship and the Planet X dudes sure
seem up to some kind of dark shit as they laugh and utter something not
even subtitled while the ship flies away. One of the things I wanted to note
as well is the difference between the original language
with subtitles versus the dub language.
Instead of just the cure for all disease, they have the cure for cancer or
they have getting cancer. And so, like,
that's the. That's the big thing that they're. They're saying in the
subtitled version where the dub is just saying the cure for all diseases,
which sounds pretty improbable, but like, I guess if anybody
can do it, so sure. Why wouldn't aliens, who for some reason can't
fight King Ghidorah? Yeah, I mean, why can't you? Right?
And they have a water plant, but their water plant is a hydrogen oxide,
which is. Hydrogen oxide. Is ho. It would be di
hydrogen oxide, wouldn't it? We said that during the clip. I just
wanted to point that out. Di hydrogen oxide.
Anyway, the ship is announced to have returned to Earth. And that is
our third clip. I think you will agree.
The report we have just heard from our astronauts is truly
amazing. On the. On the newly discovered planet, there exists
a race of superior beings with highly advanced
scientific knowledge, especially in medicine. And furthermore,
they have extended their hand in friendship to the people of the Earth.
It is our duty as Supreme Council to carefully
study the proposal as set forth by Planet X
and arrive at an early decision. As physicians,
my colleagues and officers, I encourage you to agree to
give consideration to this request for assistance. And our reasoning
is, as we receive a wonder drug, then we can
save the people of the Earth from suffering. And in time,
we can eradicate disease. The organizations of women have
no objection. We acknowledge the sincere message of peace which was forwarded
by the controller of the new planet. Also, it appears to me
that we can learn humanity from these. These people, as well as scientific knowledge.
Thank you. From your remarks, it appears that we are in agreement.
The Council shall therefore order cooperation
with Planet X, providing, of course, that the monsters
Godzilla and Rodan are located where they claim. We now have
our search units at both locations. This leads to a sequence of military troops
searching the two locations where the Xaliens stated that Godzilla
and Rodan are currently resting. Then the film cuts back
to the city and the offices of the World Education
group for our fourth clip. Mr. Terry. Yes?
Ms. Namakawa is out of town. I wonder if I could help you.
I'd like to know what you're doing with my invention, the Lady Guard Alarm.
We're still studying that item. Still studying it? You say that every time
I ask who's in charge here. Pardon me, sir. Has he gone?
No, he wants to know what we're going to do. He's persistent.
You get rid of him politely. And Invention.
Tetsui. My brother is waiting. Let's hurry. I sure
don't feel like seeing him. Don't say that,
darling. Cheer up. I want you to make a good impression
on him today. His sister's late, huh? Yeah, she's always late.
So you can't forgive the guy who stole her heart. Coffee?
Er. Do you have something else to do? Actually, I'm waiting
for someone myself. We're going on a drive. Japanese.
Not the wrong kind, I hope. You had to check up on a girl's pass
every time you went on a date. You never fall in love.
Speaking of checking out something, I can't forget about
that damaged H2O plant. I think Planet X is very
short of water. Yes, I do too.
And Glenn, I don't know exactly how much or how far
we can trust them. Hello. Are we
late? Yes, you are. Good afternoon, Glenn.
Hi. Shall we? Well, Terry,
you've had good news. Sold one of your inventions, huh?
Yes, sir. Good. But I can't understand.
Why should a company pay so much money for a simple idea like that?
I haven't gotten anything yet. That's what I thought.
Terry, I think a great deal of my sister and
I don't know whether you can make. I know.
You don't have to agree with him like that.
What do you think? We have mutual trust in each
other. Isn't that the most important thing? I think so. Mutual trust
is a beautiful thing. Oh, Glenn, you don't know what you're saying. Oh no.
I just stated a general fact. That won't buy groceries. Oh, true.
But it's necessary in everyday life. You're fighting me. You always agree with the
girls. Well, if you'll excuse me.
Oh, do you have to go? Yep. I've got a date.
The enemy is very powerful. You better do something spectacular.
Oh, Ms. Namakawa.
Oh, hi baby. Uh huh.
So they were lying to me, huh? Like Glenn said,
you better do something pretty spectacular if you want to change my
mind. Wait a second. What do we do?
I'll do some something first. I've got to talk to Ms.
Namakawa. And that is the end of the first third of the film.
Like really? Where's this brother get off? Yeah, I like how he uses like
his one contact to earth to make sure that he's like cock blocking
his sister. He's talking down about the guy. I. I get it. Like he's
the surviving oldest male, so he's got to act like a father and
make sure that his daughter is taken care of. And it's more of that,
you know, like bucking against the tradition of arranged marriage in Japan
or whatever the tradition may be where, you know, the father has
to agree, you know, gives a daughter away still, you know.
Yeah. Like the daughter doesn't get to choose to marry who she wants for love.
And they're still fighting against it in the 60s a little bit. It's clear where
the filmmakers are landing on this.
Since we've had this trope show up in these Kaiju movies,
they feel like people should be able to marry for love and be as miserable
as they are on their bad choices as they would be for an arranged marriage.
Yeah, right. And also, yeah, people shouldn't be.
Brothers need to like step off a little bit. It's kind of Gross.
Men controlling women lives is very gross to watch through
the context of modern day and the lens that you
look at the world with like, you know, post feminism and realizing
just how second class citizens women were forced to be.
Even in this time frame of free love and all of that stuff,
even in the United States, it's still pretty goddamn repulsive,
right? Things progressively get better here and there and then people rail against
it and try and drag it past back to a dark ages style
time where they can kind of control everything. Because essentially
most men are terrified of women and their sexuality and their wants and
their needs and their desires because they don't understand how to make them happy.
So they're terrified of that notion that they're not able to make them happy.
So therefore they need to control them. Good times. Yeah,
it's fucking gross. But it is what it is.
The X aliens are very clearly up to some shit because nobody just promises
the end of all diseases unless they're lying to you, because I don't think that's
even possible. But you know, a cure for cancer even still in
that day would have been just about as improbable that they're
selling depending upon if it's the dub or if it's the subtitles and
really. Just might as well just make it all diseases.
I feel like the Zeliens are the United States trying to get their hands on
making their own Godzilla movies. And it's like Toho saying, no,
you can't take our monsters because this is what you're gonna do with them.
You're gonna use them to ruin us. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right?
Jesus. You wanna move on to the next third? Yeah, let's do it. All right,
so the second third starts with the military folk measuring radiation
levels in the lake that was stated where Godzilla was resting in.
And it starts going off to the charts in a certain area. And that
leads to our fifth clip increasing.
Captain. Yes? What is it?
Radioactivity stronger.
Doctor, they found Godzilla.
Yes, the search party has confirmed he's at the
bottom of the lake. Then it's sure we'll find Rodan where they
said. Yes. Oh, hey. What's up?
You drive for a while. Okay. Hey, why did
you bring me up here? Isn't it the road to Lake Myogen? Yeah. This is
the same way I went with the girl. What are you giving me a true
confession? Listen, wait a minute. Seriously. I think I saw that guy from. Planet X
controller here on Earth? Yeah. Girl and I stayed overnight in a
bungalow the middle of the Night I woke up and the controller was in the
room. I think you were dreaming. That's what I thought. I'd. But you always
know if it's a dream when you wake up. Well, did he say anything?
He said that all preparations were made not to worry about anything. I wonder
what he meant. Don't ask me. Say, didn't the girl see him?
What do you think she said? She got scared because I was grown in my
sleep. Hey, you know something, Fuj? I think maybe we're putting too much trust in
Planet X. That's right. I don't think there's any doubt about it. Maybe they
don't have any water up there. Maybe they figure it's time to move.
Okay, let's go to that bungalow and look around. Get man.
Hold base authority. Okay.
Sir. Sir. Fuji. Wsa.
Yes? Can we get over to that bungalow? Not now, sir. Look out
there. Godzilla. Yeah.
Ready. Move out.
Spaceship.
What do you make of that? Yeah, they were
here already. Shall we
fire? Commander, shouldn't we fire?
Hold it.
The middle one is the controller. My people and I appreciate
your warm welcome. This day will always be remembered by the
universe as when our two civilizations join together for
the benefit of galactic mankind. We are friendly,
our aims are peaceful and we seek to establish cooperation
and eternal friends between our two worlds.
Controllers speak with forked tongue, maybe, huh? We also want
peace, but we must be honest with each other. You secretly came to
Earth and were hiding in the lake without permission. We have been indiscreet
and apologize. However, we delayed our arrival. Awaiting authority.
Your country would have suffered great damage. The monsters Rodan and
Godzilla. Sir, how will you transport Godzilla and Rodan? The Nuclear Skill
one that's unknown here on Earth. No matter the size, our scientific
achievements enable us to easily carry an object anywhere
in space. You seem to be skeptical. Those two flying
saucers are transports saucer flying toward
Washikasawa. All units on the alert.
Saucer contact.
Hey, look at that.
Look. Glenn.
Get a load of that Godzilla.
Glenn, let's go. Excuse us.
The bottom work in those scenes with the spaceships and the
mini like Godzilla and mini like Rodan that
are trapped in these like gravity tractor beam things being
pulled up out of the lake and then out of the mountain as they're going
up into the air and out into outer space is really well
done. And it still looks actually pretty cool for the day
that they were making it, obviously. But for now, like, it still looks pretty great.
Like what they were able to achieve. It was pretty cool.
Yeah. Yeah. Actually that was not bad at all. It could have been
way worse, you know, I've seen way worse models.
But yeah, it was actually really good. They make really good use
of the Godzilla and Rodan models that they built. Whenever you
saw Godzilla and Rodan battling in your film, there was a couple of
sequences where they went to the smaller model so they could do, you know,
more bendy bits with Rodan attacking Godzilla and Godzilla's
tail and stuff like that. And they reuse them here
and basically just pose them to be. As if they're asleep or cocooned
and being lifted up and it looks great. Really does.
Yeah. Right. All right. So at the end of the clip, the Zaliens remove Godzilla
and Rodan from their places of slumber, as we mentioned. They gather the monsters
together and the sister asks a bunch of goddamn questions.
In our sixth clip. Is it safe? Are you sure it's
safe to go? Why, of course. We're going to
get VIP treatment anyway. We have
to get that data on the miracle drug. Glenn's going to.
Sure. And Dr. Sakura, this girl, the girl.
That Glenn's been going around with, is she okay? A nice girl.
Why don't you ask Glenn? Oh, Glenn, you shouldn't go.
Can't you stay and get married? Listen, Namikawa, I'm not going forever.
I'll be back. You don't understand. You don't know what you're saying.
You're the one who doesn't understand. What's wrong with you?
What? I mean. So long.
I'll marry you when I get back.
Hey, follow that car devoid. Gentlemen, we'll be
leaving in a moment. Be seated, please. I have a
request to make. Certainly. What is it? Could we see the
control room? You are now in the control room.
What? My decisions regarding navigation and operation
are fed into electronic computers in this country. Control room?
By brain waves, you mean to say. You feed your
will into the computer and let it control the ship the way you want?
Good analysis. Yes. Can you do the same to animals and plants then?
Yes, indeed. You have an extremely inquisitive mind, Mr.
Astronaut Glenn. I shall give that fact to the memory bank of
our computer. Are computations complete? Yes,
sir. As programmed, we are on schedule.
How do you like the ride? Somewhat smoother than your spaceship, I. I imagine,
sir. Carrying those monsters, can you escape Earth's gravity?
Don't be concerned. They're following us obediently.
450 million kilometers, as computed.
450 million. That's correct. In only four
and a half hours. That far? We are
now traveling approximately one tenth the velocity of light.
Speed of light. We are reaching new goals. Soon we
can travel at the same speed.
You wish to see me, sir? Yes, I do. You become involved with the
astronaut much more than is necessary. I am getting information. You are
to follow orders, not your emotions. This is not my directive,
but the controllers. I understand, sir. That fellow
Terry is on the island. What? That's another project you bungled.
Well, we'll be landing sooner.
Tell me about it, pal. Work teams are
to stand by for the landing of 01 and 02.
Yes, sir. Standing by. What's that for?
Suction to recover the hydrogen oxide.
Gold is far less valuable to us here than is water.
Work teams retreat. Zero. With the appearance of Monster
Zero, AKA Ghidorah, the Azaleans cancel the plan to recover
the water and revive Rodan and Godzilla to duke
it out with Ghidorah, Godzilla does a bob and weave, firing off his atomic
breath and dodging Ghidorah's yellow lightning attack with the rocks
he's hiding behind. After enough of his cover is broken into just boulders,
Godzilla starts chucking and kicking rocks at Ghidorah.
Rodan decides to drop them on him from above as well.
This fight is actually pretty kickass. Yeah.
Yeah, it's good, man. The leader of the aliens thanks
the guests from Earth for bringing them the creatures capable of
destroying Monster Zero. Godzilla does a flying leap at Ghidorah.
And after a reversal from Ghidorah, Monster Zero calls Rodan and
Godzilla a bunch of dicks and grabs his toys to head home once
again. Guys are jerks, man.
I know you would grab a hold of that if I made reference to it.
Why are you guys so mean to me? Godzilla does some stupid
trendy dance to celebrate, and you like where he hops up in the air?
That's like. That was a trend at the time that they have him do.
And then that leads to our seventh clip. A happy moment.
The first time we've been able to drive away that Monster Zero and not
suffer any damage or loss of light. Where are the others,
Doctor? Oh, they were just here.
It's no use, Glenn. We can't find anything. Most important thing to do
is find out what's on the controller's mind. I feel something fishy about him.
If we don't get back pretty soon, he'll get suspended. Are you kidding? He's already
suspicious. Come on. Switch.
Switch. Where's the switch? I don't see it. I'll have to wait
till it stops. Man, if it was air conditioned.
I'd live in it. Gold. But to them, gold's not as precious as water is.
Yeah. Planet X is run out of water.
Namikawa. Glenn.
Glenn. What are you doing here?
You haven't forgotten, have you? I'm Glenn. You're Glenn. Don't you
remember? Glenn. Let's get out of here.
You may lower your hands. You've caused us considerable concern.
Why did you wander about without permission? Well, I think you'll agree our
conducted tour was somewhat limited. Yeah, we got a little tired of the sightseeing
action. You might say we got a little. What did you see? And did
you learn anything? That water's more precious than gold to you.
Oh, no. Water is not a scarcity here. We can
secure it easily. Really? Where? Suppose you discover that for yourself.
One more thing. How come all the women here look alike? I should think that
you, Glenn, would agree that our girls are attractive. Yeah. But beauty is more
than skin deep. Beauty is also what's in the heart. Let's not
argue the matter seriously. Gentlemen. You have violated our laws.
And ordinarily you would be. You were invited here as guests of our
state. However. So we prefer no charges. And now,
Doctor, here it is as we promised. The miracle drug which can
cure all disease. The formula is recorded on tape. Good health.
Thank you. And now spaceship is ready to take you back.
The P1. The P1's exact facsimile when you
were here on your previous trip. We recorded all the information to
the smallest detail. We have recreated your ship from that data.
Godzilla's down there too.
I wonder if we're doing the right thing. Doctor. Why do you ask?
Look at Godzilla and Rodan. They seem to resent our leaving them
behind this way. Hey, those two have causes enough trouble
already. Don't worry. They'll find their own ways. Have you completely checked
your equipment? Okay. Today we're amazed how
expertly you duplicated our gear. I think you will discover
that our duplicate version is better than your original.
Goodbye to you. Have a fine journey and a safe
return.
Hello. How nice to see you. Won't you? I've come to ask you
about Tetsui. Tetsui? Oh, I recall.
Yes. He used to come here all the time. But I haven't seen him for
a long time now. Are you sure? Yes. Is anything?
The day my brother and Glenn left for Planet X. Tetsui said
he was coming to see you. He hasn't returned since. No.
Hey, how long are you gonna keep me locked up like this? We cannot release
you as yet you'll understand. What's going on?
We're changing history. Are you serious? The controller,
sir, on the radio. Right. Hey, wait. Wait. Hey, what's a
controller? This is Earth Headquarters.
Controller here. Your Honor, sir. You want
to execute plan two, item four of schedule five?
Plan two, item four, Schedule five. Yes,
sir. We will execute your orders immediately.
The astronauts are returning.
Let's watch. The astronauts are here.
They have come back, Doctor. This is it,
gentlemen.
This tape contains the formula for the miracle drug.
Something wrong with the recorder? Don't think so. Is their system the same? Yes,
it is. According to the directions on the carton,
I am the controller of Planet X. To the people of
the Earth. I command that you obey the following orders.
Orders? You will place the Earth
under our absolute control and be governed as our colony.
What is that? Govern us as a colony. If you do
not obey the orders willingly and immediately, we shall destroy
your civilization.
Double truss, and think. So we stumbled right into a trap.
I repeat the order. Earth will continue to exist
only as a colony of Planet X.
The Start day announcement touched off demonstrations around the world.
Some demonstrators urged capitulation, calling for peace at any price.
The majority, however, seem to favor strong resistance. Opposing factions
clashed violently in dozens of world capitals, and police were hard
pressed to restore order.
Darling, that's what I figured.
Yes, I'm a citizen of Planet X. When you went to my world, you saw
a girl who looked like me, didn't you? Tell me about it, baby. Oh,
Glenn. I am governed by electronics under orders of our world's
controller. You asked me to marry you under his orders too. Oh,
no, Glenn, that was different. True, I was assigned to spy on you, but you've
come to mean more to me than anything. Look, you gotta get out of this
place and take off that get up of yours. No. You have to become a
citizen of our Planet X. So we can marry. That's the only way we can
save you. Look, Namikawa, we're not robots.
What kind of peace would it be if we were controlled by machines in defense
of Earth? We're gonna fight to the last man, baby. Now, where's your conscience?
Or have you turned that over to your computers too, huh? Hey, listen to me,
Namikawa. If there's any chance of averting this war, you better tell me about it
and tell me about it right. Because if we don't find a solution to this
thing, happiness in this world ain't gonna be worth a hill of beans, you hear?
Oh, Glenn, you and I can't do anything about it now. It's too late
to change things. No, it isn't. She's right. It's too late.
I got big news for you, pal.
As commander of this colony, I place you under arrest.
Glenn. Glenn, don't go.
Don't go. They'll destroy you. I love you.
With that, the love interest of Nick Adams is vaporized.
And that takes us over the hour, Mark. With a little over 30
minutes left in the movie. Well, these aliens are assholes.
Yeah, it's interesting. What a bunch of colonizers. Yeah, it's interesting. They're basically
like an early version of the Borg, right? Because they're controlled by a computer.
They're all assimilated and they're all like logic functioning
only and they decided that they're going to colonize. However, they still
have individuality, so they're not quite. Yeah, or at least
they can. The woman character had individuality
of some sort because she decided that she was in love with Nick Adams character.
And not because Nick Adams is this like
knockout, gorgeous guy. It's just because he was kind
of well known enough at the time and they got him in these movies to
sort of trade on his name for like, you know, dare you not say.
He wasn't a good looking man? You can be attracted to him if you want.
I just don't think he was that great looking to pull this lady. Thank you
for the permission court.
You don't need my permission. I'm just telling you, like I don't care if you
are not attracted to him. Him. I don't think he's attractive
enough to pull the lady that was basically making him a mark, you know?
Oh yeah, I don't think so either. She just pulled the rookie move of having
human feelings and falling in love with him because she's a female. And that's what
females do, I guess is. Oh God, did you even
use the term female? Oh, dude,
gross. Well, their planet is so efficient that
every female looks exactly the same and is like super hot.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, I'm not being the
one that sexist here. I'm just pointing out the plot lines here. But I'm just
saying. Anyway, no, it is a cringe thing for
a man to refer to any women as just females.
Yeah, females, yeah, it's cringe. You're absolutely right.
But I made it cringe on purpose as part of the joke and that's good.
Yeah, I'm making myself partially the butt of the joke.
That's how it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well that's fine then.
Now we're okay. You know what I personally love is
the way that we over explain things until we're okay with it.
Personally, before we move on, I love that shtick. Is that man
explaining? I don't know what it is. I think it's like trying to
back out of a joke, being bad or whatever. Yeah, yeah. I don't know.
But I fully accept the fact that that does sound cringe when a dude says
that. And you should probably not do it unless it's in a joke. Yes,
exactly. All right, let's. Do I act like that for
real? Yeah, don't be like that, guys. All right,
let's pick up and start off and finish up this film.
What do you think? Yes, let's do it. All right. The final third picks up
right where the love interest is vaporized in our hero's reaction to it
in our eighth clip. You rats. You stinking rats.
What are you doing? Our actions are controlled by electronic computers,
not by human emotions. When that law is violated, the offender
is eliminated. Fuji. Yes, sir. King Eaters in the United
States. I know. What's that? Some more trouble. Has the council
decided? Not yet. The military men want to use all our nuclear
weapons and then resist them to the bitter end. We'll be wiped out by the
radioactivity. We have a tiger at the front door and a wolf.
Excuse me. Did you find Glenn? No. None of us could find
him anywhere. Why would he disappear like this?
Look out the window. Come on over here. Look at this.
Hey, it's a saucer. What are they doing?
We regret that you have not yet complied with our order.
We interpret this as a negative reply.
We are prepared, therefore, to conquer the Earth.
We have stationed King Ghidorah in the western hemisphere.
Ghidorah was always one of their weapons. And King Ghidorah is
completely controlled by our computers through magnetic waves.
We also control Godzilla and Rodan with magnetic waves.
These monsters can destroy you and together conquer the
entire Earth. However, we shall delay the orders to kill for
24 hours. This is your last chance. We await your
capitulation. He said they control the monsters through magnetic
waves. Is that significant? I think so. Come over here.
A cycle and magnetic waves.
Yes, sir. Oh, you too. You. Well, this is a funny place
to meet. Yeah. I'm going to die laughing. No use looking around.
I've checked every inch in here. There's no way out. Why is this room
soundproof? Yeah, the walls are soundproof. Even the bars are soundproof.
Look at them. The final hour is approaching. For the people of Earth.
Here, hear this. You are to command the forces that mop up. No one must
survive. You are to seek out and kill every human being. Action begins
in 20 hours. Just 15 hours. We have no alternative.
We must use all our nuclear weapons before that. May I suggest
we join in prayer? I can't see how prayers will help. Oh, yes.
We can at least save our souls. We must either attack them now or
surrender to them. That's the Council's decision. Just a moment, sir. We have one
chance. Please give me a few hours to work on it. What do you do?
They're using magnetic waves to manipulate Godzilla and Rodan. That's where
we have a chance. If we are able to sever those waves, we can save
the Earth. Can you solve the problem in such a short time? The odds are
long, but we are making our final tests. All right. Try it again.
Problems in the A cycle. Please step in.
Uji. Council, how are you coming? Alright,
theoretically. Can you be specific? There's not much time. Yes, we know.
What do the tests indicate? The tape recorder here is
being moved by magnetic waves generated over there. Turn it off. Turn it off,
please. Yes, sir. Turn it on again. Yes, sir. If we can
shield it, if we can intercept the waves, it'll stop.
As you can see, this ordinary metal will not intercept the
magnetic waves. What we must use is that the A
cycle light ray which will actually cut off the waves.
I'll make them visible so you can see what happens.
That's good. It works. Now what is our problem?
Well, thank you. We don't know the lengths or
intensities of the waves. They're using a solution. A laser.
Concentrate on the upper and lower limits of the YAY cycle. Yes, sir.
But what if the wavelengths they're using fall outside our frequency range?
And a prayer is all we have. We won't get a second chance at
it. Ten hours to go. Good.
All forces on earth ready to attack. Good.
Everything has been computed. Yes, sir.
Everything sure is quiet. Yeah. Might as well
give up. We aren't ever going to get out of here. No. We can't give
up now. Try and think why this room is soundproof. Hey, Glenn, look at
this. This is the note from Namikawa.
She's the one that got me into this. This. Dear Glenn, when you receive
this letter, I shall have been eliminated for disobeying the directives of
our computers. But I have no regrets. With you, I have found
a love beyond all computation. You were right.
Mankind cannot live as much machines because man is immortal.
A material machine can be destroyed. We machines of planet X can
be destroyed by of all things, a certain simple sound.
A certain sound. That's why this cell is soundproof. That's it. That's why they
bought my invention. You mean this thing will make noise?
Yeah, it'll shake your teeth loose. Listen to.
Come on, let's get out of here. Commander. What is it?
The Earth prisoners have escaped. What?
Controller. Controller. Our prisoners have escaped.
Please handle. That's that back
to control. That sure was close.
Wait till they find out. Was their guards on the boat? Yeah. What do
we do? Well, we sure ain't gonna wait for the next ferry.
Sweat. Five hours to go.
Everything proceeding as calculated. That's good.
90%. Are you. Hi, Doctor.
Oh, Glenn. Where have you been? Wait, look at this. The A
cycle light ray. If we use a veil of these metal particles,
it can intercept their magnetic waves. Beat it,
Tatsui. You shouldn't say that. She's right. Listen, Fuji.
He's got a great idea to knock off off these guys. Oh? Miniature sound transmitter
he devised affects a great damage to their physical nature. Are you sure? We tried
it already at work. That's why we're here now. What we got to do is
we got to put the sound of the transmitter on radio waves. We got to
amplify it and then direct it toward the aliens. I know it'll work. Good.
Get started right away. Only three hours to go. Yes, sir.
Okay. Controller. Sir. Computer shows a discrepancy.
Why computer 5,
what is the trouble? We're checking.
All right. We change our plans.
We begin the attack on Earth. Now.
Read the tape. The tape show red dots are decreasing.
Good. Monster 01 and 02
commence the attack. With this, Godzilla and Rodan
are sent rampaging through the areas they were dropped off in. With a
JDF land response in tow. Our hero updates his
colleagues on the early attack. And we see a miniature convoy
with some kind of laser array being moved into place to break the
Zeliens control over Godzilla and Rodan. Speaking of those
monsters, we cut to them smashing and stomping as the JDF
tanks try to slow them all down. This is a model
being crushed Haven with lots of tank fire strikes
on the Sudimation folks as well. Very, very dangerous stuff
with the fireworks hitting them. And very, very cool stuff with the buildings coming
apart. They spent some money on these sequences and they look great. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. It looks good. The aliens send in Monster Zero as well.
So now we have Three monsters across the globe, smashing and destroying
cities and radio towers as they go. Godzilla walks through a business
district and smashes a metric tons of buildings doing it.
When I say he walks through, I mean he walks through it. Not around
it or walks down the streets, up through it. He walks through it.
He walks through all that shit. He starts to
scorch the entire block as Rodan joins in with some gale
force winds, blowing debris and wrecking buildings all over the place,
leveling more of the city. Ghidorah burns and smashes the city it is in.
And the military is clearly powerless to stop him or any of the
other Kaijus. The heroes execute a plan to broadcast that annoying
sound that paralyzes the Zaaliens and really annoys all of
us. In our ninth clip right there, this machine.
Thank you. Attention everyone. This is an emergency broadcast.
The unpleasant noise you are about to hear coming from your radio is not
a mistake. Please do not turn off your radio, but turn up the volume on
your receiver as high as it can go so that you can make the sound
we broadcast as loud as possible.
Doctor, plans begun broadcasting.
Standby to attack. Standby. Okay,
that's does it. Now let's go to MCUR Island. Okay. Repeat, this is an
emergency. The unpleasant noise you hear on your radio
receiver is not a mistake. Do not turn off your set,
but turn up the volume as high as possible.
This is an emergency.
Something's wrong. Correct it.
Yes, sir. Move up. Move up.
How do things look on the island? Quiet. Can't see anything.
Look, it's a flying saucer. Okay,
you better start transmit. Right. Give the order.
Yes, sir. Transmit. What is
wrong with our computers? Calling Colonial Commander. Come in,
Earth. Just like computers. Come in, Colonial Commander.
Send the second squad into action. Give the order.
Second squad. You are ordered to attack. The interrupting
signal intercepts the signals for the monsters.
And the annoying alarm is destroying the alien's ability to counteract the interruption.
And their earth base is destroyed. And so is the spaceships
that came from the planet X. It starts to break apart and smoke. And the
controller decides to escape into the future,
or something like that. However, the ships future.
However the ships all explode, so does their base. So I don't think they
really escape. This leaves Godzilla and Rodan still a problem. As now they
are not controlled. And they have a bone to pick with Ghidorah.
So Godzilla kicks Rodan into gear and the pair team up
on Ghidorah with Rodan pulling at his tails and
Godzilla going toe to toe boxing with him. Ghidorah goes
lightning breath crazy at them and gets the upper hand until Godzilla
wrestles it to the ground and the science crew decide to leave and
get the out of there. Yeah, good idea. Rodan picks up Godzilla
and the pair go hurtling into Ghidorah and go tumbling into the
ocean during the battle. And we watch as Ghidorah once
again calls all of the Earth a bunch of dicks and packs up its
toys and goes home. That leads to our tenth
and final clip. Hi, Glenn. What's happening?
Look in the water. Did he kill Rodan
and Godzilla? He couldn't. They're too tough.
Hey, what do you think, Fuch?
What can I do now? We deserve a vacation.
Not you, Glenn. You're flying back to Planet X.
What? You're to be our first ambassador.
Whatever's fair, pal.
With that, the military packs up and goes home. And they roll credits.
Cinema Science. 10 years.
10 years. It's important to note that they don't really say ambassador like he's
going to basically go and do more surveys of the planet. So basically
like Earth is going to go conquer the Zaen planet now and take their resour
is like the golden shit. I think. I mean, that's what we. That's what happens.
Yeah. That's what the United States does. That's what Earth will end up eventually doing.
And asteroid mining will eventually become a thing because of it. Because we have a
finite number of resources here. Of course, that's if the
human. I just hope I'm dead before it, you know. Yeah, well, we'll see what
happens. But either way. Yeah, yeah. However it goes,
this one is a lot more fun. I actually like just Rodan and
Godzilla teaming up together to defeat Ghidorah. I think think that
Mothra as just the larva really wasn't needed.
But they wanted to include Mothra in there. Yeah, it's kind
of the only time that I don't really want Mothra in
a movie was with Ghidorah. I think just two Kaiju
against Ghidorah would have been fine. And mostly Mothra
just did a lot of the spraying. The caterpillar floss
over everybody. Well, I'm also way more into Mothra
when it's an actual moth. Yeah, Moth for Mothra I do
prefer. I'm not a big caterpillar Mothra fan. Yeah. Although they
really overpower the caterpillar Mothra versions. And when there's two of
them and they work together, like the two of them against Ghidorah could
have been an interesting thing. You know, the two Mothra larva,
because they've defeated Godzilla already, you know. Yeah.
That I don't know. But I think they were just trying to do the,
you know, the three most popular versus this new monster.
And then in this one, they're like, well, we're going to cut the budget a
little bit because, you know, why would the caterpillar be in space, I guess.
Yeah. Right. So that's just. I mean, what's. What are they thinking?
Well, and Mossra goes away for a little bit and doesn't come back for just
a little while. And then some other creatures end up coming back. Things are going
to get a little weirder, however, because we're going to start stepping away from
the Toho box set for Godzilla for the show era. We're going to start
getting into DIN and stuff like that coming up. Which is a different company even
than Toho around the same time. And they did like the Gamera movies and things
like that. We're not really doing the Gamera stuff. We're just doing. We're going
to do a little detour into DIN here coming up next week. So I
wanted to mention that. There you go. Yeah. But just to kind of get back
to it, I like this one a little bit more because it's a little bit
cornier. And instead of just having the meteor strike and
Ghidorah attacks, I like the idea that there's like, these evil
aliens that are controlling it this time. Yeah. And the
idea of just, you know, Kaiju monster, like, landing on
Earth or whatever this thing was that turns into King Ghidorah,
like how it. It ends up becoming King Ghidorah. It's just basically
a meteor that turns into. It into your movie and then.
But mine is. It already exists, and it's a problem across multiple
planets, you know. Yeah. Like, it's sort of like almost like a galactus killer
kind of thing. That's true. Yeah. I kind of like that idea.
Yeah. And I'm with you. I like the alien aspect added into
the Kaiju films in which now we have to deal with aliens
and now our Kaijus on planet Earth, which are typically where bad, bad guys
to us, are now defending Earth. Yeah. It gets like.
I'm glad you like that plot line because they just kind of redo this
a lot. Yeah. Particularly with Ghidorah coming back, being the monster that they control,
like, a lot. But you'll see, we'll get through it and we'll
get to those Those movies as well. But Toho's basically
gonna find an angle that works. Find a kid's movie kind of version of
these things that works. And then they just do variations on a theme for a
while. And I love them all still. There's a few of them that
I don't. And we're not going to be covering those.
It was like, we're not. We're not doing that again. Yeah, well, there's some that
we've already covered, like I mentioned. Like, we're not going to be doing Ebera because
we've already covered that one. But there's one in particular where it's like this
kid having daydreams about being on Monster island with Godzilla's kid
and. Yeah, we're not doing that one. Okay, well, I. I don't know if
that's Godzilla's revenge or Son of Godzilla. I can't remember which one it is.
But that one we're definitely not doing. But it sounds terrible. Yeah. If we.
If we haven't already covered it on the show and it's not that particular movie,
we're going to do them, for God's sake.
Oh, and then also, if it's not American made, it has to be the Japanese
ones. We're not going to be doing the American ones in this run. We just
can't. Yeah, it's all Japanese make Kaiju movies. All right,
so why don't we go ahead and take the break here and I'll get my
story time because we already broke the hour mark on this one because I played
all the clips and we needed to, otherwise we
would have no show. Yeah, right. On the pirate radio edit for
this week, for 1965, we're going to have the birds with the song Mr.
Tambourine Man. When we come back, we'll have my storytelling.
The memory wipe device is the code name for an offshoot of
the 3TD technology, where court could target events in space
time through the reading of memories to locate a temporal signature and remove
the cause of the memory. Court tested so heavily against Matt's
memories, he discovered the permeability of measurable reality.
He determined that if the machine could remove a memory by completely
removing the event that caused it from ever existing, it could be configured to
create an event in reality by inserting a memory of it existing.
This is where things get very, very dark in the timelines and really start
to split. I would suggest some type of mild sedative before hearing
where it goes from here. Seriously, folks, smoke them if you have
got them in the first horrific experiment court forced Matt and
himself to live through a story stolen completely from the absolutely
fabulous Evil Dead franchise. The more ludicrous it was,
the more it became real as he forced memories into Matt's gin soaked
brain. Retconning the story of their lives.
Tell me that song is not influenced by drugs in some way, shape or form.
Yeah, right. Oh shit. Well, hopefully maybe my
story time might even be influenced by drugs in some way, shape or form.
Story time.
Story time. So yeah, this will be out well after the
Christmas spirit, but, you know, is long since faded and we
are now currently just past the Xmas
mark here when we're recording this because we usually do it on Sundays and
that's the Sunday that we're recording. Yeah, we're like at that. That doldrum between
the end of the year on the 29th and the Hangover for
Christmas that's left over. And my wife kind of expressed to
me on Christmas Day, the night of as we were getting ready
to go to bed, that she had a really hard time with any Christmas spirit
this year. She couldn't really get the feeling going and everything was kind
of just not feeling great for her. And I was trying to do the opposite
where I was going overboard with Christmas spirit and put up like a ton of
like Christmas lights and just did all stuff. Like basically all the decorating was me.
The tree getting put up was mostly me. She did help me a
little bit, but she just wasn't feeling it for a lot of it.
And so I didn't know what to do to sort
of make her feel better. So I kind of concocted a quick plan. One of
the things that her and I like to do that always puts both of us
in a good mood is to just like accomplish a task together, just do something.
And yeah, in this case, she was talking about how much fun and
how the closest she had to the Christmas spirit was making cookies with her sister.
And on that she actually made a bunch of keto cookies. Cookies for
me, which I promptly ate really, really quickly because of
course, you know, you get me a sweet treat that I don't have to worry
about like messing up my glycemic index a little bit or putting too
much weight on me. I'm gonna go crazy for it. Now these are not perfect,
these keto cookies, but they are more than low carb enough to
where I'm gonna minimize the amount of damage that I'm doing. You know, instead of
putting on £20 in four days, I'll probably put on five.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I gotcha. Something along those lines.
But so I went through them really quick. And so I
suggested to her on Friday night, when we were talking about, you know,
what. What to do to get her back into the Christmas spirit, I suggested that
we make cookies together on Saturday, which we ended up doing.
And, man, did we spend a long time baking cookies. And my goodness,
did we bake a lot of fucking cookies. But we were working as a team.
We were having a bunch of fun. We were goofing off and just
kind of like rewatching episodes of tv like in the background that
we, you know, are familiar with. And we love those show kind of deal.
And just really had a really nice time just baking cookies and, you know,
making sure that we got them all done and basically, like, arguing techniques on the
best way to get the cookie to look the best whenever it, like, flattens out.
And as it's baking and all of that, like, we actually
had debates and we did, like, a tray each to try
and see who's turned out better. Oh, nice.
Turns out that my technique was the right one and that arguing
with my grandma is not on point. You should not do that one. Yeah,
don't argue with court. Don't argue with grandma's in the first place.
Right now, I'm being facetious. Mine turned out
the way that we kind of wanted a cookie to look, but it takes
more time, obviously, to do it that way because I'm rolling the dough a lot
more and, like, really, really trying to make it, like, really pretty.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's that. Well, anyway, that's enough of
a story time, I think. I had a wonderful time this weekend,
just last night, actually, baking cookies with my wife for, like,
hours and hours and hours and just being silly. And I think we got a
little Christmas spirit in there. And for some reason, the guy
that's always been the scrooge and the Grinch for some reason this
year, decided to try and bring holiday cheer to other people as much as he
could. There you go. Yeah. All right. With that, we're gonna
play these shows. But, you know, you bring cheer and happiness,
and there you go there. That's the Christmas spirit I
tried, man. With that, we're gonna play the show Housekeeping. And immediately following that on
the pirate radio edit from 1965 as well, Smokey Robinson
in the mirror Miracles with the song the Tracks of My Tears,
right after this. If you've decided you can't get enough of the show, and would
like to check. Holy. He's got all the bots. What the.
This is bad. This is real bad. Please stop swearing.
You cannot. You man. Get the off of me. You cannot
resist your fort. Your language is unapproved.
Oh, he got mad by get the. Thought Matbot
would hold out. We're. If we got mat bot. We're. We are way.
Where's Corbot? I'm a drink because I'm sad.
I'm sad because I swear. Oh my
God. Deterred corpot poor. Stop swearing.
Resistance is useless. Get the away from me. Get the
away from me. You. You pot. What are you going to
do now? Get your hand off of you piece of to share this.
Pick it you. Please,
master Court. This will help you. You will be a single.
You will be killed.
What the is happening to that one? I don't know.
Let's hook this guy up and see what happens. Because it looks like we just
burned out a circuitry. That pot just fell down.
Oh, holy. There are all starting to fall down.
Oh, Jesus Christ. I'll have to reboot them. Hang on a second. Let me hook
this guy up bloody. Okay, I'm doing some diagnostics here.
Wow, this is really bad programming. Didn't you do this programming?
No, this is not my butt. Dude, is that your butt? This is the hail
main swear. Oh, this is the swear bot. That's right. Finally came
for us. Oh my God. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Look at the circuitry, man. This is really just half ass
put together. The brain wipe
protocol. And this is so behind what I'm doing. I'm telling you. Those help me
boys. They just don't have a proper lab. Anyway, you have a brain weight protocol.
Not that you'll remember. What were we just talking about? Oh, okay, okay.
Hey, look. I found where they got to boss with this thing. Oh man,
those nefarious bastards. Okay, so the modifications that
they made to Boss. I'm going to ship off something to Bossbot.
I think he will be able to mine meld with him and be able to
fix Boss up. So we have that squared away. What about the rest of our
bots? They're following like flies out there. Oh yeah.
Reboot protocol 666.
Really? What just happened to be 666? You're the one who picked 69
for Corkbot to go back to being like you. Yeah, that's true.
Get on my case for that. But hey, we look at them. They're all starting
to pop back up like normal. Mat bot master. Start with the
cleanup Mind Wipe the rest of the bots, get them ready to go.
This is going to be pretty intolerable to live in the lab right now
like this.
Man. That must be the comedian's
theme song, because I can only picture so
many miserable human beings that just want anything else just to make another person
and laugh, just to feel a little bit better. And that's how they got into
comedy, you know what I mean? Like, that's, that's what
I think about when I hear that song. Yeah, yeah, right.
Not just a guy who's heartbroken, who's trying to like, you know, still be the
life of the party, because that's what people expect of him, even though he's heartbroken.
You know, I. I picture the standup comic that's just like wrecked
inside and just wants to make other people laugh to fill that void
and feel something, Something else for a minute, you know. It'S typically
how it always is. Yeah, that's some dark to
think about. Whenever you're enjoying your favorite comedian, you know, make sure that you
tell them you're very grateful that they make you laugh whenever you get the chance.
Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah. Listen, you made me laugh just now. Don't become
a prick. Right. Well, while you're out
there yelling at me for once again, crushing your hopes and dreams
and whatever, whatever image you had for comics in your head and telling me
to get off of your cloud. Just like the rolling stones from 1965
on the Pirate radio edit. Kick the out of this weekend. Make it your with
get off my cloud. Master, I apologize for trying
to grab you. This other bot, which was poorly put together by
some inferior minds, had to destroy me. Thank you for fixing
me, Master. You're welcome. All right, look, Matt, we're going to hit the road,
man. Yeah, let's get the out of here. This place is a mess.
Okay, so there's a cabin we can go to.
I feel like I've heard this story before. It's going to be a little bit
of a drive. Oh my God. How long? A couple hours. Jesus Christ.
Well, look, you're going to have to haul all this equipment and we're going to
go on the road and we're going to set up a studio in the cabin.
Why do I got to haul the equipment? Cuz I'm not doing it. I'm the
one that's in charge. Why can't we get a couple of the robots to do
it? Because they're busy cleaning up. What are they cleaning up really?
Oil spills? Come on, don't make me wipe away your childhood.
Dude, it's gone already.
All right, Are you done packing up the car already? Yeah, that was surprisingly
easy. See what happens when you stop bitching and just do what I say?
Actually, I just got drunk beforehand. You're gonna have to drive.
All right, we're gonna hit the road. Hello.
Hey, what's up? Hey. Let's start this recording.
Recording in progress. All right, let's close this.
Let's open this. Sorry, you caught me munching on cookies. No, you're right.
That'll be my story time. By the way, that's perfect for me, actually. All right.
Yeah, that's okay for loudness, right? Yeah. All right, let's go
ahead and rock and our roll. Let me get the cookie crumbs
out of the sides of my mouth here. Don't want them going flying through the
mic. 3, 2, 1. K. Juice for the win.
I was kind of catching. Would give me a little more powder so I could
eat a cookie. Oh, my bad. Yeah, man.
It's literally all clips. Like, I have very little.
I have one sheet that I wrote up, so if I don't let the clips
play, we will have no show.
This one's about six minutes, but again, it's like,
hey there, Glenn. The first four clips are my first third of the film.
And then we're done with the first third of the film. So if I don't
play them, we have nothing. Gotcha.
Hydrogen oxide. Hey, hydrogen oxide
is water. Yeah, it's water. Ladies,
gentlemen, isn't hydrogen dioxide. Advise you that monster.
Zero hydrogen oxide. I'm now a scientist, but I think
you're right. It's Di Hydrogen Industrial,
caused by an oversight. So dihydrogen oxide. I wonder
if we're doing the right thing, Doctor. Why do you ask? Look at Godzilla and
Rodan. They seem to resent our leaving them behind this way.
Hey, you guys are dicks. Why are you leaving this with
Guys. Are the biggest jerks.
Why the are we taking your car? Well, my car's bigger, has a lot more
room. Yeah, but nothing works in this car except for this goddamn H.
Go to hell. I'm not honking at you, bastard.
Hey, you know what we need? Some gas money. Let's pick up the next few
hitchhikers we see. Only if they're girls. Okay, that's fine. One of those
hitchhikers.
I don't know about these two. They won't stop singing.
Jesus Christ, lady, will you shut up? I don't care. Shut up.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
Shut. Jesus Christ, your voice is so
grainy. Oh, great. Now the others are singing.
Oh, gosh. Damn it. Shut up.
I'm really mad. I drank all the gas money.
And telling me to get off of your cloud. Just like the rolling stones
from 1965 on the Pirate radio Edit. Kick the fuck out of
this weekend. Making sure with get off my cloud.
There we go. Yeah, we can end
this and then end this. Recording stopped.