well
hello all you beautiful people
you know what time it is
[Music]
ladies and gents
guys and dolls and everyone in between
gather round
get you something real nice to sip on
and comfy to slip on
because it's time
for smut club
here's your hosts chelsea and hannah
[Applause]
[Music]
hello and welcome to smut club i'm
hannah i'm chelsea
um we're here
to drink and talk about the smutty books
that we read
so we assume that you are here because
you like one of those two activities if
not both
or maybe you're just entertained by our
tipsy ramblings or you know maybe you're
just a friend of ours doing us a solid
and listening to the episode and we're
glad you're here too too shout out to
drew cause i have a feeling this might
be you listening
yeah
so we appreciate all of you being here
to join us as we choose
the next smutty book to review tonight
is going to be a fun episode because
tonight is a joint review woohoo
we are going back
to our girl jan
j.s guy hell yeah [ __ ] jan she's
somehow both the best
and the worst the absolute worst but
like
i can't stop
i am
i would say low-key but that would be a
lie i'm high-key obsessed with jan i am
obsessed with jan
and the potential that she is a bot and
not a real person and
what what percentage like
do you think like what percent chance
are you like she might be about
they might be a bot
like
i don't know what bots gender pronouns
like 35 65.
in in which direction like 35 she's a
bot
okay that's fair i might
i was about to say 45 65 and then i
realized
i'm really shitty at math
okay so like i might up that to like 40
60. okay okay
um because i do feel like one
this is
one word document that jan started
this billionaire series on and then she
just
does
um control f
and then finds all of the names
so like
the from the first book sarah she just
did control f whatever the the function
is on her computer and then replaced all
of sarah with mara yep and then replace
dante
with jared and then just change like a
couple of things along the way but it
also kind of feels like the thing that
i'm like
i feel like if you gave a bot a little
direction
it might accomplish
this the very same the very same so we
sell that
to now tell you the book we actually are
reviewing because i realized we didn't
get there yet we are reviewing the
forbidden
billionaire and i just want to throw out
there because i have at this point read
enough j.s scott to frankly be
embarrassed by the amount of j.s scott
that i have read
and
none of the titles make any sense
but also like i think what i don't get
is that
the forbidden billionaire has
4.17 stars with
11.5 000
ratings on goodreads and i read this and
i'm like i don't
i don't know how how we got
that rating but it's not a rating i
would give but let's i mean the names
and other books in this series if you
remember the first book that we reviewed
was no ordinary
billionaire because that was dante
the billionaire
detective from la that's the homicide
detective um we have this one the
forbidden billionaire then we're going
to get the billionaire's touch then the
billionaire's voice then the billionaire
takes all then the billionaires secrets
and from there we get into only a
millionaire oh [ __ ] we downgraded we did
yeah
do they lose their fortune i guess i'll
have to read the series you'll see i
have read that novella and you'll find
out
oh really
then there's another series in which we
have endeared enchanted enamored
entangled ensnared
we also have billionaire undercover
billionaire unexpected
billionaire unnoticed
i just i feel like i want to live in the
world that j.s scott lives in where
there's just all of these billionaires
running amok so here's the thing here's
the other thing so i i started the
she has a billionaire's obsession series
that is 18 books 18 books you shut your
mouth i will not i know i say that at
least once an episode you shut your
mouth when you're talking to me
18
how 18 is it all right is it is it 18
like stand-alones in the same universe
yeah okay yeah
and um i read the last three first
when you finish
the billionaires from aimsport maryland
you'll get to why i wound up with the
last three first of billionaires
obsession series
and then i went back and started at the
beginning
they're from tampa they live in
tampa florida
so something to know
um
hannah and i
are both from florida um we both
got out of florida hell yeah and
we both hold this like weird tension
where like we can talk [ __ ] about
florida but we feel very like defensive
and protective of it
and another right like there are so many
stories and i'm like oh
someone threw another alligator through
a fast-food window drive-through that's
florida for you but then on the other
hand if like if my husband were to be
like i saw this story about florida i'd
be like [ __ ] you you are not from
florida mind your business you are not
allowed to say that
and
i think that might upset my husband
sometimes but like there are things that
like i don't know all right hannah and i
grew up with the stingray shuffle hell
yeah
you knew if you went into the ocean you
needed to shuffle your feet to make sure
that the stingrays felt your vibrations
and then they would go away and not
sting your ass because
if you did not get stung you at least
had one experience growing up where a
friend of yours got stung because they
didn't do the stingray shuffle and you
know who didn't do the stingray shuffle
my youth pastor in high school
actually middle school his name was
harvey he was a very nice guy very small
um
south asian man nice love him to pieces
but yeah he was leading the trip and he
got stung and i was like it's because
you're not from here you clearly don't
know the way see my youth pastor's name
was scooby and he did know the shuffle
because he was from florida and his name
was scooby no one is surprised he's from
florida
yeah
yeah that's totally fair but we also
know things like the pressure points on
a gator that when you're doing a gator
show you know which points the gator
wrangler are gonna hit in order to make
the gator
like subdued to do all the things they
do with the gator well yeah like we just
innately know we just met a
all of the force of a gator snap is in
its top jaw
and so once it's closed if you can get
your hands around it you're golden it's
not really going to reopen
um and then also if you can get it on
its back there's this weird like
equilibrium thing yep and you can like
actually rub a belly like a a gator's
belly if you wanted i wouldn't be
totally clear don't so far well yes
don't but so far i am currently reading
the fourth book that is set in tampa
so far there are no gators
or stingrays well has j.s scott ever
been to okay what is in the book
because there are a lot of other things
that happen in tampa that might be
present
not a lot and frankly the density of
billionaires that she tries to convince
me of
the density the density of billionaires
like the number number of billionaires i
was like are they large
the number of billionaires that she
tries to convince me are in tampa
florida tampa florida like
i just don't
it's really difficult for me to
acknowledge that also if you hear any
rumblings in the background it's my dog
brandon
you you know him you love him you love
to get annoyed by him he has no chill he
just wants to play all the time and has
no boundaries
so
he had a toy that several days ago i put
some food treats in
and i think he is now
licking the inside hoping to get
remnants because he's trying
he is a chunky boy he's not afraid to
search for those calories wherever he
can get them he's doing what he can do
but anyway we are not on the tampa
florida
billionaires yet we are we'll have to
get there because
represent the hometown
now all i can think of is a day to
remember
like
this is where we're from
you know
that's a you win the day to remember i
went magic mike
um because straight up i remember
watching magic mike which also
whoever colored that movie
please talk to me because i have a lot
of questions about your decisions it was
very oversaturated and i have a lot of i
really have a lot of opinions on it um
but there's a scene where i'm like oh
that's the bricks i love the bricks
that's an e-boar i love that place and i
was like damn it why do i recognize
restaurants in magic mike by name and i
was like because i'm from florida and i
need to embrace this part of myself
we acknowledge and accept florida my
best friend just told me
well not just
she recently so her and her husband and
their children had been talking about
moving to north carolina
from florida no she is from florida left
florida met her husband in montana
okay they ended up in texas
i was living in texas at the same time
for a little while so we got to like
reconnect there which was super fun and
then i moved to tennessee
and she stayed in texas and is still
there but has moved from dallas down to
lake san antonio i'm not giving her a
dress i realize this is sounding creepy
and i'm getting a lot of details um and
so her and her husband have always
wanted to live in like the appalachian
mountain region okay and so they were
gonna move to north carolina and then
they decided that they wanted to move
back and be close to family because they
went down and like my best friend's
brother recently had a kid and you know
all this good stuff but she's now going
to be moving back to our hometown
which
i our we we had a great hometown but
it's also one of those things that like
as a whole with florida i think we kind
of felt like we made it out and now
she's moving back which like now that
gives me a larger incentive to go back
no offense to the rest of my family who
still lives in florida i love you and
you're good enough reason on your own
so now i'm just like reconciling as my
best friend is like i think i'm i left
and i did the thing where like we grew
up in a great place and then i left and
i did my thing and now i'm coming back
to raise my children in that same place
and like the cycle continues no
and i am really excited for her as she
goes on this journey and to visit her on
the journey and to not live there
on the journey yeah i can respect that i
grew up in a different part of florida
and it was not a great place to grow up
and i
i would rather scoop out my eyeballs
with a fork well
i just want to be clear
i grew up on the north side of pinellas
county which when white flight happened
they all went to the north side of
pinellas county um so i would like to be
like i'm just i'm just owning my
upbringing in that capacity um owning
some of the schools that i went to sort
of experiences i had in my early
childhood were not necessarily as
culturally diverse as i would like or as
i would like my future children's too
um we damn we have really gone on a
[ __ ] floor
[ __ ] tangent and we're not in florida
yet in the forbidden billionaire we are
still in american
maine not amesbury i always want to say
amesbury and i have no idea why no so we
are in aims port maine
with the sinclair billionaires yes those
billionaires that's how they describe
them in the book sinclair billionaires
the east coast because that matters
eventually if you
read on and read more of j s scott you
will discover there are west coast
sinclairs it's a whole thing it's very
much a journey
we maybe we'll get there but presently
we are still east coast
sinclair billionaires and we open the
forbidden billionaire
with jared our main man mm-hmm
drunk who is skunk let's also note
jared our main man is as he's jared
sinclair
and so his brother is dante sinclair who
was the homicide detective
billionaire from the first book who
ended up with his doctor sarah we have
already reviewed that one so go back and
listen if you are forgetting it or if
you're curious but also if it made you
sad
that is
also not surprising um none of it's
surprising no none of it is surprising
so this is this book is about
one another sinclair sibling jared
sinclair and in our prologue we do open
up and he is drunk off his ass yep so he
wakes up and he's like
well i [ __ ] hate that the whole being
awake and lucid thing
not a fan and he
he talks about some like guilt he's
feeling and some shame and he's like i'm
basically the worst and i hate myself
i'm just gonna drink until i pass out
again and that's the prologue basically
and um so jared is the youngest brother
he is not the youngest sibling they do
have a younger sister
um but he is the youngest brother is
where does grady go oh oh oh evan grady
dante jared hope
okay so the five east coast i don't know
why i felt like i needed to like raise
my east coast we're going up and octave
east coast um
so the east coast sinclair's we we have
evan is the oldest
and then great
dante jared and then hope
yes so
evan has not had a book yet he will be
the next grady was technically the first
book he was the billionaire's christmas
which was a prequel novella to this
whole deal that is happening here in
amesport
then we have dante which we've already
reviewed and then jared which we are
currently reviewing and then
hope which i believe and then we get
into evan and then evan [ __ ] so evan is
the
four
the third book third
fourth if you count the novella if you
count the novella he's the fourth but if
you
aren't aware that the novella exists
then he is the third and the rest of
this series gets into like their east
coast cousins yes correct so
evan drunk is a skunk
or not evan jared drunk is a skunk
living his life hating it a lot but like
you don't know why he hates it but like
you can like you know he's tortured by
something
but you don't fully know what he's
tortured by at this time you will find
out what he is tortured by but like yeah
just
hold on a minute
you'll we'll get there
um so then we open and
um there is a
doll maker
yep you have mara
not to be confused with sarah not not
sarah this is mara she goes with jared
sarah goes with dante classic mix-up
so mara and jared um mara is a doll
maker that is her full-time job somehow
she pays her bills but barely by doing
this and the book opens with her being
sad and going for a walk on the beach
yep to really just feel her sadness and
think her thoughts and feel her feelings
and then jared sees her walking down the
beach sad and is like i should go talk
to her yep so he follows her onto the
beach she's sitting on a rock or
somewhere like near the water she's
getting very wet there is like wa like
rain happening
[Laughter]
there is
water from the sky otherwise known as
rain happening yeah
and so he
rolls up and is like what are you doing
out here honey like this is not a good
look he takes her glasses off her face
which she does often and cleans them for
her and then puts them back on her face
and his as someone who has worn glasses
like
it's very intimate
don't touch my [ __ ]
like i've all right so this is another
tangent in third grade i lied
to get glasses
um i
i thought the cool kids had glasses i
thought if i had glasses that would make
equal plot twist
not having glasses wasn't why i wasn't
cool
but i lied to get glasses um so in the
future i don't know if i permanently
[ __ ] up my vision or if i just needed
them in the future but i do very much
need glasses now and like now my glasses
are like it's not just like i need
glasses they're like you have
astigmatism
and
your eyes are bow legged which
was not their medical that was not their
medical terminology but essentially i'm
like the opposite of cross-eyed like if
you look at me like my eyes look normal
so you don't really like see i don't
think anything's weird but i do need
prism in my lenses to like correct it
some and then every other eye doctor i
see tells me i need bifocals so that's
always a fun journey nice um
but yes all this to say i've worn
glasses for a long [ __ ] time
and it would feel intimate to me now if
my husband noticed my glasses were dirty
and just took them off my face to clean
them let alone a stranger on the beach
like that i don't really know who just
saw i was sad and followed me into the
rain who's like let me clean your
glasses but like doesn't even say it
just grabs him like i don't feel good
about it no i'm not a fan of that
intimate moment he does know her because
he has been into her shop because jared
sinclair
wants to know more about the history of
aimsport and mara's family has been
there for generations and she knows a
lot about the history
so he has gone to her multiple times to
get
information about the history of his
family in aimsport and also worth noting
the doll that this the store where mara
sells her dolls is also her home yes and
so her family apparently never has had a
real lease we'll get to that in a second
and like they're just like month to
month here but has like been there for
like a long long long long last time
it's like the house she grew up in even
though it's only been month to month but
it use the property used to be owned by
sorry
you did and i loved it i haven't been
drinking that much i swear to god but
believe me or don't it's it's cool so
the
historic
home where mara has her doll shop used
to be owned by the sinclair family at
some point in time even though mara has
lived in this house her entire [ __ ]
life for generations and we really need
to know that yeah her grandmother her
mother and now her
have lived in this home and run this
doll shop so she's on the beach she's
crying and jared's like what's wrong
tell me what's wrong and i'll fix it
and he
he
describes this like possessive instinct
that he's like gonna kill whoever has
upset her which is a little extreme
right like for someone who's like only
had passive interactions with this woman
to be like i saw her on the beach crying
i'll kill whoever upset her i'm like
whoa bro let's let's reign that in a
smidge
especially because then like what she
tells us and like what we learn is her
mother died a year ago yep of cancer
cancer yeah
she had mara had had to drop out of
school to be able to take care of her
mother and then like took over running
the doll shop and so like this is her
life because
her mother has now passed away and she
her entire life was built on taking care
of her mother and running this doll shop
yes and she has just found out that
her landlord has decided to sell the
house
and she is being evicted from her home
and also is going to have to close the
doll shop because
um
because it's it's being sold essentially
and the house is in disrepair there are
a lot of leaks in the roof um no
maintenance has really been done on the
house because the landlord is like i
don't really give a [ __ ] at this point
i don't care
and jared is very troubled by that that
she's living in this house where the
roof leaks and there are a lot of issues
with it well and jared is like a
billionaire real estate mogul and he's
like we'll find you a new place and like
your place isn't safe i'm like i know
because i'm an architect but it's also
like
i don't know i felt like it was a little
invalidating of her experience to be
like it wasn't safe i'm an architect and
she's like cool it's my childhood home
that's being sold and now i have to
leave
aimsport because i have no place here
anymore right like that's traumatic in
itself yes
and so
he this is from like his point of view
kind of it's not first person but it it
does flash back and forth between his
point of view and her point of view like
every couple paragraphs we go between
the two yeah and he walks her back to
her house he's like it's not safe to be
out on the beach right now because
there's a storm coming in
let me walk you home
and then he like pins her against a wall
and is like you're super hot and she's
like you are full of [ __ ] because i'm
not in fact i put the quote down because
please i feel like this is how jan
describes all of her [ __ ] heroines
and i'm like jen jan why are you
[ __ ] on your women because like
mara straight up said she's like in case
you haven't noticed i'm too plump and
short and plain i think i might be i
actually might be paraphrasing but
that's what i've written down but like
it was very much he's like oh like
i'm so into the and she's like like i'm
i'm too short and i'm too plump and i'm
too plain and he's like
you're exactly the type of woman a man
wants beneath him naked and i'm like hey
so you just you've had minimal
interactions with this woman just saw
her crying
on the beach followed her to the beach
and was like oh kill whoever did this
and then she was like i am getting
evicted and he's like we'll find your
new house your house isn't safe i'm an
architect and then he like pins her
against the wall
and then she's like i'm too plain for
you to want me and he's like you're
exactly who a man wants underneath you
and i've
yeah that's i that's that's pretty much
chapter one
but the end of chapter one does end on a
plot twist which we do not see
really come to fruition in the storyline
until the end but at the very end of
chapter one we find out
that the person buying mara's house is
indeed jared uh oh so
jared is the reason she is
getting kicked out of her home losing
her home and she does not know yes
losing her home and her business
so then i believe we're at the farmer's
market
not quite to the farmers market yeah
um because lest we forget sarah and
dante from the first book in this series
no ordinary billionaire they're getting
married right so mario
mara is best friends with kristin who is
sarah's
medical admin yeah medical assistant um
dr sarah
has
i don't know her [ __ ] last name
dr sarah which feels about as
professional as she is in the first book
if we're being completely honest
her medical assistant admin assistant
whatever you want to call her um was
supposed to be responding to the wedding
kristen kristen broke her foot or some
[ __ ] i don't fully remember it broke her
ankle i guess yes and so
mara they're like oh mara you have to
step in to be a bridesmaid and can you
do us this favor so then mara is
suddenly in sarah and dante's wedding
and they're like oh that means you'll be
like standing with jared yeah and mara's
like i don't know you
but i feel pressured to do it because
all these women there's like four or
five of them are sitting there looking
at her like you're the answer to our
conundrum and she's like oh and she's
like yes i am
and you're like okay cool cool cool i
guess we're we're doing this we're not
we're going for it okay but now we're at
the farmer's market now we're at the
farmer's market
so
we learn not only does mara make dolls
for a living she is also very
accomplished at making jams and fudge
and she likes toffee coffee
candies i think it was toffee you are
correct and so she sells her jams and
her candies at the farmer's market yeah
she does but hey
but she can only really make so much
because
she's also making dolls right she's a
busy woman she's a busy woman and so
jared finds out she works at the
farmer's market selling these these
items and like decides to show up at the
crack at on but then like on his way to
mara i was about to say sarah but it's
mara it's mara now we're on
so on his way to mara um
beatrice and elsie yes so beatrice is
the town psychic that i believe we sort
of referenced in our review of no
ordinary maybe who
it's a crap shoot with this series
there's a lot happening like y'all
there's so much happening so so beatrice
is the town psychic she's in her 80s she
runs like a crystal shop like a healing
sort of situation and just as an aside
and a shout out to the consecrated
crystal hey
nicole we love you and everything you do
we have a friend named cole who runs a
shop calls the consecrate called the
consecrated crystal which is really
difficult to say actually
uh well we have been drinking
the concept like that nicole that's not
on you that's really user error on our
end like no shame on on the name yeah
the consecrated crystal we love nicole
follow her on tick tock she does
incredible live sales
she also much like bota box she doesn't
sponsor us
um but maybe someday but she she's
probably more willing to than photo box
as well at this point
yes we love nicole and the consecrated
crystal she has incredible products so
if you are ever needing any any crystals
she is your girl speaking of the word
products
i just have to say
by the end of this book the word
products had lost all meaning to me
because it was said so much and you will
understand why yes once you understand
the nature of the products mara sells
with her jams and toffees and candies
and whatever the [ __ ] she sells also
referred to as her edibles and there's
no marijuana in them there's no thc in
them but they are referred to as edibles
at multiple points so beatrice and elsie
run into jared when he's perusing the
farmer's market before it's even open
just like trying to like honestly get
tomorrow yes and
they're like here's a crystal for you to
keep in your pocket and we know your
soulmate your soulmate that will heal
you is mara
yes so beatrice tells him that her
spirit guides have told her that mara is
the one for him
beatrice has already given mara an
apache tears crystal that matches
jared's and he's like okay thank you
like you're old and crazy bye
and carries on to mara's stand where he
samples her products and is like holy
[ __ ] products
it's like holy [ __ ]
he just tries to jam and then he tries
one of the like saltwater taffys or
something and he's like this is [ __ ]
amazing i'm buying out your stand right
now
i'm buying everything that you have to
offer today
and you are spending the day with me yes
that was a big thing because he's like
spend the day with me and she's like i'm
literally at the farmer's market to work
and he's like not if i buy all of your
product
is being our operative word here so
he buys all out all of her jam that's
not a euphemism and her taffy's
taffy's
is that like did she make toffee or
taffy i don't [ __ ] know dude does it
matter i honestly just realized there
was a difference between the two
it's her consumable product yes she her
her jams and her other products
and
but he also was like
i want to invest in this as a company
and i i'll only take 10
and unlimited product which for a
billionaire angel investor that's a damn
good deal to be on the receiving end of
for sure and mara's like
no like you're cheating yourself that's
not comfortable for me also you didn't
ask me to spend the day with you you
just demanded so maybe try asking like a
person instead of demanding like an
[ __ ] like honestly there are moments
where i really enjoy mara's backbone but
there are a lot of moments where i'm
like i wish that backbone were stronger
for sure because there are moments where
i'm like girl believe in yourself the
way i believe in you but then there are
moments where i'm like yes way to say no
you you didn't ask you told me so i will
do that when you ask me and i can tell
you my response which i'm like yes queen
live your truth
but then there are moments where i'm
like
it feels like you're not living your
truth as much here yeah yeah so he does
he he says will you
instead of asking like and then they
make out in her truck they do and he
gets very handsy and yeah he smacks her
ass like substantially he does he's very
into it and she's like um my ass is too
big and you're doing the most right now
and i'm not into it right but that's
like her insecurities because like on
one hand she's like you need to ask me
to spend the day with you not tell me
but then on the other hand she's like my
ass is too big to be smacked and i'm
like what the actual [ __ ] she's a larger
target babe like why are we anything
it's more smackable better this way yeah
it's more smack i've never met a man
who's like i wish she had less ass
just saying no
no
so my sister my younger sister recently
got engaged right yes and um thank you
um for her i guess so she proposed to
her girlfriend her girlfriend said yes
and i immediately started planning the
wedding and i told her that uh she would
be in and i i i'm fully aware that my
intentions for her wedding are not gonna
come to fruition
but i'm really enjoying the fantasy of
what i'm creating in my mind so i told
her that she would be wearing a tuxedo
built for a 12 year old boy
because that's how she's built like
that's just the body type that you know
and she owns right honestly that's the
body type that it seems all of the women
in a js scott novel want they're all
like i'm too curvy i'm too plum they're
like i want to be smart i'm like you
know what it sounds like you want the
body of a 12 year old boy so your sister
is killing the game she's nailing it
right now and i was like and you know
what i will be in a
tuxedo built for a 16 year old boy with
a dump truck ass because that's how i'm
built
honestly i see it though thank you i
would also like to know while we were
recording i was sitting on the ground
earlier today and
hannah was just swinging her feet and i
went hey hannah
when you're sitting in the chair do your
feet touch the ground
and her the he um
like the balls of her feet touch the
ground but the heels of her feet do not
and i would also like to know this is a
standard dinner chair this is not like
this is not a high top yeah so when i
very intentionally put my feet on the
ground my the balls on my feet touch the
ground and then chelsea's husband
overheard this conversation and very
kindly as vance is often very kind um
found me a an amazon box that my feet
are currently resting on so that my feet
can touch something i just looked under
the table and can't confirm she still
has her feet on the amazon box i just
she's not blowing smoke up your ass this
is very true it's accurate so anyway
mara he does ask mara agrees to spend
the day with him they go out to lunch
they go to sullivan they go to
sullivan's which does wind up coming
back around eventually
um and so they have great lobster rolls
there the best apparently in the state
so
they go they have lunch it's all great
he is talking to her about the business
plan and she's like you can't take 10
like you can't give me all this money to
start this business and do all these
things
and only take 10 that's [ __ ] but
also worth noting that like the owner of
sullivan's tessa sullivan am i getting
that she is the part owner with her
brother
yes she's the part owner
not to be confused with liam from
neighbors yes liam
eden hoffer edenhoff hoffenheimer um in
the book she like it's an ongoing thing
in neighbors that she like mispronounces
his last name so i thought i would
continue the journey but yes so
sullivan's straight up says when they
get there
like tessa's like oh did you already
sell out of jam and she's like yeah i
did like i sold out super quick today
and she's like oh well i'd love to have
some to use here and then jared and his
business mind is like wait you want to
use her products and tests as products
products and and the owner of sullivan's
is like oh my gosh yes like i use them
whenever she can get them to me i've
based entire meals and like recipes on
them but it's just not always around but
like yes if she was if i had like a
ready supply of her product product i
would be using it
like every day yes so jared's like holy
[ __ ]
clearly we have an untapped market here
there's a lot of potential we need to
start this business
and mara's like
okay i guess
and
you know he knows a lot about business
because he's a billionaire obviously and
his business wasn't handed to him so
there's that
i mean the billions were handed to him
but the real estate business he created
we will give him credit for that but
also
while they are out at sullivan's like
jared kind of like loki drops this bomb
of like kind of alluding to his trauma
and where we started in the beginning of
the book with him being
like
like smashed and completely like super
depressed yes like
drunk out of his mind and he tells mara
that he killed his
like college girlfriend he's like and i
killed his best friend yes he's like i
killed them
um and that's all we know at this point
so we're like we know that there's some
trauma that like we don't fully
understand and mara doesn't ask any
follow-up questions she really does
doesn't do anything she just leaves it
alone she's a passive [ __ ] i can't okay
no i have a lot of questions about that
and mara just leaves it there
yes yes so much so so then
jared calls mara i don't fully remember
the exact time like jared calls mara and
is like hey
while we are starting our business
together that i'm
an angel investor who's giving you all
of your startup capital but only taking
10
and free jam home which does not feel
like a good deal on his end because it's
not
um
he is like hey why don't
you
like i know like you're gonna have to
move out of your house so like why don't
you consider moving into my guest house
while you start this business and she's
like
i'm not moving in with you and he's like
no no no no it's a completely separate
residence it has its own entrance it's a
completely separate on the sinclair
peninsula let's also be clear that in
the city of aimsport there is a
peninsula that has a gated entrance that
only the sinclair siblings have
residences yeah
or on that might be the better word um
yes so that's where we're starting my
dog just whimpered in the background i
don't know if you heard him it was a
very sad sound
he's quick
he is a chunky boy who is wanting more
food he is completely fine
do not let him fool you i can absolutely
relate though
like he will sit there and like he will
make you think we are atrocious owners
and i'm like you
we can tell from your size alone that
you are well loved like and well-fed but
and a well-fed yes so
jared calls and i have that full
conversation but then
guys horrible horrible news a fire
breaks out
so yes so they're on the phone right so
jared wakes up in the middle of the
night it's storming outside
and he i distinctly remember
he wakes up he finds his phone he's
clutching his phone and he's like i
don't need to call her she's probably
asleep i need to mind my own business
and then he calls her anyway
and she
answers she's very groggy clearly just
woke up and she's like hello and he's
like i was concerned that your
roof was leaking and she was like oh it
is i probably need to switch out the
containers like the buckets that i'm
using to catch the water then like jared
is all like what there are multiple
containers not even one like this place
has a death trap yes and then she's like
oh my god i smell smoke and he's like
what
freaking out
and she's like i i have to go i have to
call 9-1-1 so she hangs up and jared's
like what the [ __ ] so he gets dressed
very quickly gets in the car and
apparently is headed towards mara then
we flash to mara's point of view she's
in the house it's on fire
yes she's in the house it's on fire
she's trying to grab all of the like
actual things that she needs like like
birth certificate yes like a birth
certificate and like is like trying to
be like [ __ ] what what do i absolutely
need to grab from this fire but
unfortunately the fire continues to grow
and doesn't really have enough time so
then she does get her mother's wedding
ring which is important to her yes she
does get her mother's wedding ring
um and then we actually flash not to
jared or mara i know that's a big plot
to us we're flashing to evan if you
remember the oldest sinclair sibling yes
who like got
to town for dante and sarah's wedding
and decided to walk home and just happen
to be on the fire so he didn't decide to
walk home apparently the service that he
used to deliver his car failed to
deliver it on time and so he's livid
that this service failed to perform
their function he's very very agitated
and he's walking along and he sees this
fire and he's like looks like a business
so i just want to say you're a
billionaire so if your car service
didn't come through immediately i feel
like you could afford first world
problems this is yeah it's truly a first
world problem with him like like
pissed off wandering down the street and
happens upon this fire in the middle of
the night so he sees this fire he's like
it looks like a business i'm sure no
one's in there and then he hears a
scream and he's like oh [ __ ] somebody's
in there so he runs in and mara has she
was initially trapped in her bedroom she
left all her significant documents she
only took her mother's wedding ring she
wound up twisting her ankle trying to
get out she falls on the ground and then
this this individual appears and that's
evans and claire he picks her up carries
her out of the house deposits her on the
ground and it's kind of a dick about it
he's like you know normally when
someone's house is on fire they [ __ ]
leave
the house like what the [ __ ] were you
doing
and so she's really upset
evan show or jared shows up excuse me
jared shows up tries to run into the
house jared's like no no no i got her
evan is like
evan is like yes because jared's trying
to get in evan's like
simmer down buddy she's right here
she goes to the hospital jared takes her
back to his house and he's like you're
living with me now
and i just love that like in j.s scott's
universe there's always something that
happens where they're just like
i guess you're gonna live with me now
and i'm like what do you how did we get
here
yeah i mean i guess like i reading the
story i understand how we got here
logically but i'm almost like all of
these people
every single one of them every single
one been displaced from their home yeah
and it just continues through every
single book so we start with a
um
somebody vandalizes a house and no
ordinary billionaire
we have a fire and forbidden billionaire
we have a snowstorm in evans story that
i'm forgetting the name of it's a whole
like it's just multiple times it's like
there's no other option boo guess you
have to live with me now thanks bye
well and so then like they get to the
house and mind you like
they have like jared and mara have this
weird relationship like because they
don't have a relationship but he has
this like creepily possessive energy and
so she's sitting there and she's like
crying and stopping she's like i lost
everything and he's like you didn't lose
me and i'm like did she have you this is
your life yes he's like you have your
life and you have me what more do you
need and i'm like
all of her earthly possessions her home
like her business like just if we are
looking at maslow's hierarchy
there's a lot that she needs actually
and mind you yes you can provide that to
her but so then mara decides she wants
to seek physical comfort out of jared
but then like and she's like oh like i
just really need this comfort and then
jared gets all in his head and he's like
about being used because
he's [ __ ] a lot of women they they
want they never want us to forget that
holy [ __ ] i feel like every other
paragraph they're like i [ __ ] a lot of
women i'm like yes jared we get it
you're a stallion in the sheets like
calm yourself such a stud such a stud
hey there's my puppies
we'll get you right back to the show in
just a moment
but first
do you like us
maybe even
love us
because we sure love you
and if you do love us
don't tease us
tell us in those ratings and reviews
wherever you're listening right now
maybe even send us over to a special
sexy someone that would enjoy getting
smutty with us
because you know the first rule of smug
club is to talk about smut club
all right i won't keep you any longer
let's get back to the show
[Music]
so
[Music]
honestly i don't even remember the
tangent that i was about to go but
yeah so she's like i need physical
comfort and he's like use me how you
want to and she's like hold up hold up
hold up but like it's kind of like
despondent when he says it we're like
he's like been into their physical
interactions and then
he's like yeah take what you need but
like gets very like sad boy about it
and
so then she's like no no it's not me
taking what i need like i
i don't need this i need you like i want
you
right not just any man would do it's
only you
and so then they bang
and
it's magical i guess for everybody
involved i also
just want to note
they talk about the size of jared's dick
a lot so much so much through this book
because it's literally like the the
notes i have it's like i don't want it i
want you and the next quote is have you
had someone my size before and i feel
like the entire book is talking about
how
unfortunately massive yeah like honestly
the way they describe jared's dick seems
almost inconveniently large it is
not good husband dick
right and i think we've talked about
this before but the difference between
boyfriend dick and husband dick 100
like there's there's a difference
between
dick that is ridden for fun and dick
that is written for life you know what i
mean there's a difference i once had a
friend and mind you i think he was i
think he was a friend i i think he was
trying to bone me no okay
okay um
but i had a friend who
was telling me he's like yeah chelsea
honestly my last girlfriend like
she just told me like i was too big for
like longevity
which like i'm like
i think that's my wording not his but
like it was very much this like
i
have too large of a dick for her to want
it on a consistent basis sure
and to his credit i never actually saw
his dick but to his credit i do think
that's a real thing where people are
like hey
your dick is too large to be
something i want to engage with on an
ongoing basis it limits it limits a lot
like it limits the positions available
it limits a lot of things when it's too
big well when it goes down to your knee
up to your lungs
all i can think about is that one
picture of um idris elba walking do you
know the one i'm talking about there's
this photo of idris elba walking and
there's this very distinct like
imprint of something that is very far
down his thigh and people are like god
damn idris for real and he
he responded and was like
thank you for thinking that but that's a
that's a mic chord like that's not me
but thank you for thinking that you know
i also love that like his energy was
just like hey
thanks mine is actually a very
convenient size
i'm just saying
so they bone is the moral of the story
the moral of the story is that
mara is like i want physical comfort
after her house burned burns down and
she loses all of her earthly possessions
and then jared is like
i guess just use me take what you need
and she's like no i don't want it i
don't want i want you and then he's like
me have you had someone of my size
before
like also what do you say to that
because i feel like if you say yeah
actually
that's not what any jews is wanting to
hear no
no just and also a consistent theme with
with our dear friend jan is that these
women are all like near virginal so
they've had like
one or two dudes in the past
and they've been sub-par
in the bedroom yes it's always like a
i had sex a few times i don't get what
all the fuss is about and you're like oh
okay i guess that's where we live now
honey so that all happens she has sex
with jared
and then
we moved to like
maro seeing evan walk down the beach
in a suit in a full suit it's his it's
his most comfortable suit lest we forget
um
but she sees evan walking down the
street in a suit and she feels a kindred
ship to him after he rescued her from
the burning building and so she goes to
like talk with him and
thank him for rescuing her
and she shares about the whole business
deal
and how like she's annoyed with jared
for not setting himself up for success
and then evan is kind of like
yeah you're right he's not and like
that's not a great business deal but
i'll give you a good business deal and
so he's like kind of playing it where
he's like we'll just tell jared if he
won't sign an actual contract with you i
will
and we can open your jam and candy
business
without my brother's involvement
and she's like i hate that but also if
that's what it takes to get a fair deal
because i'm super ethical then that's
what i'll do she's the most ethical hoe
i've ever seen
holy [ __ ] she's the most ethical huh
like
like like i feel like all the time she's
like i'm that's just not fair or like i
can't like
jared will like
gift her things and then she's like we
need to come up with a payment plan and
he's like it's a [ __ ] gift and i'm a
billionaire and don't give a [ __ ] and
she's like i can't take this iphone and
he's like a thousand dollars is
literally
nothing i don't i truly do not care
about it and she's like i wouldn't feel
right and i'm like i think we need to
get over this but like because here's
the thing i view myself as an ethical
and conscious conscientious human being
but also if i know someone is a
billionaire and they're like hey chelsea
i just bought you the new iphone i'm not
gonna be like
do you want a payment plan
i'm just gonna say thank you so much i
can't wait to use it right if jeff bezos
gave me a million dollars right now i'd
be like
thank you have a great day
you know what i mean
my only ethical concern is if it was
like blood bunny
you know what i mean like i'm like yeah
like outside of that i really don't
really have any concerns
so
evan evan says he'll like make this
business deal with her and then jared
sees them
hugging because she hugs him as a thank
you yes and then jared is like livid
about this and is like colin dibs on her
yeah to evan he's like do not touch my
woman and we also left out that sarah
who is dante's fiance
bought her a whole new wardrobe
including lingerie and clothing and
underwear and everything because she
lost everything in the fire just as
emily did for sarah precisely no
ordinary billionaires so it's like like
a thing that they like to pass on the
next generation yeah i guess yes yeah
so jared so evan says to jared
stake your claim before somebody else
does and jared's like um excuse me are
you saying that you want to stake a
claim and evan's like mind your [ __ ]
business just do what i [ __ ] said to
you right now
basically i mean jared
rescued her from a fire not jared evan
evan rescued her they're all the same
let's just be clear they're all the same
they're all sinclairs
evan rescued her from a fire and then
was like i'll give you a business deal
if my brother won't and then jared's
like she's my woman and nothing's like
bros take your claim if you want to
stake a claim which honestly i feel like
evan is being pretty reasonable here
like i don't feel like this is like that
outlandish and like jared's like
very much puffing his chest definitely
so yeah
so then mara what happens next mara
makes him dinner i think
i don't know honestly my next notes say
i'll read you all my full notes mara
sees evan walking on beach offers her
business deal jared sees calls dibs and
then there's a space and then the next
section says quote i'm big and i wasn't
gentle
follow-up quote i was stretched by a man
of your size
right right right so she makes him
dinner which he's just flabbergasted by
because no one has ever made him dinner
before and it's just mind-boggling
because he's a billionaire and everyone
only wants his money they only want what
they can get from him not what they can
give to him right
so then they have a conversation finally
about their night or afternoon or
whatever [ __ ] time of day it was
together
and he's like did i hurt you
and she's like no and he's like for real
because i'm pretty [ __ ] big and she's
like i was just you know being stretched
by a man of your size he like he's
really obsessed with his dick size yeah
yeah just saying yeah so then they go on
a date to the arcade
yes so then he is like you need to take
a break you're doing too much let's go
to the arcade they go
they play games they
he gets her a stuffed animal of some
kind they do the little like
photo booth thing
he loves it
and then
i don't even know
neither do i these books are all
blending together they're all the same
you guys
except these are in maine not to be
confused with tampa florida
well
and then so like they go on the arcade
date and then honestly the next thing
that i like really remember happening is
that like beatrice
like declared that like they're a match
because i don't think they knew
right i don't think she had told evan
that mara was her match or maybe maybe
it was after the date that that jared
was like
yeah
she
she called
dante and sarah
she told me that i had a match that's
right because because she shows him her
her key ring that has the the crystal on
it and he's like i have one of those too
beatrice said that you're my match and
mara's like i'm not cute enough for that
basically
i really don't understand mara's like
push and pull with like when she has a
back button when she doesn't yeah just
saying yeah so
from there i just honestly remember that
they
she finally got jared to agree to a
business deal and business contract
because like
she kind of like played the evan card
and she was like oh well like if you
won't like your brother will sign this
like contract for like an actual like
business deal and ethical agreement with
me
and then jared was like the [ __ ] you
will i'm your business partner not my
brother
and so they like finally actually like
agreed on a business contract but they
didn't sign yet they just agreed to
terms
they don't sign till later
oh i don't remember that
i literally just you just finished it
i'm just finished here's the thing i
kind of did but honestly
i skimmed a couple chapters because i
needed that break in my life and they
hadn't really banged again
so then there's the
also don't forget that like after that
jared does tell us how his friends died
yes so so there's the um bachelor party
and the bridal party happening
so she is with all the women and she
tells them that doesn't happen yet oh it
doesn't we aren't there yet i jumped the
gun you did i did so we do jared
discloses to mara
how the friends died
yes so what we find out is that
jared's college girlfriend who he was in
love with and his best friend were
having an affair jared and his best
friend were supposed to be starting this
like architecture
firm restoring old houses once they
graduated so jared was putting all of
his time into that and was like oh
that's why i'm growing distant from my
girlfriend because i'm working on all
these like business deals right and then
found out
because he was the designated driver at
a party
and then he's like oh where did my
girlfriend go and like found her [ __ ]
his best friend right so and then he
leaves yes he got upset and left
understandable right as like a very
natural human reaction so he gets upset
after he saw his girlfriend [ __ ] his
best friend and leaves the party and he
had been their designated driver so then
later on in the evening apparently his
now ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend got
in the car
with another driver who was intoxicated
and then that car crashed and they
subsequently died and jared has always
blamed himself because
he
was sober and didn't drive them home
because he'd been upset yes and jared is
not the only one who blames himself his
girlfriend's mother also blames him
because all she knows is that he was the
designated driver and chose to leave her
daughter at this party
and then she died so she doesn't know
about all this other stuff so she blames
jared and at the wedding like smacks him
and tells him that everything's fault
funeral sure what did i say wedding i
was like who's wedding i haven't drank
that much you really haven't so
yes at her daughter's funeral she like
lays in to jared about all this which
only like increases
all of his guilt
um
what was i just thinking about all of
this honestly i don't remember this book
is such a [ __ ] faster such a disaster
oh that was what it was
so jared i guess because he's a
billionaire
and loved his girlfriend and she didn't
come from a family who was also
billionaires was paying her college
tuition this whole time yeah so there
was this like whole tension where you're
like
oh
was his girl his girlfriend was only
continuing to date him because he was
paying for her tuition right and he was
investing all the money
for him and the best friend to start
this business so it's like is the best
friend only in all of this
for
the money for this business
right
so
mara is
starting to build her own business
they're getting the
um
website launched they're doing all these
different things
for all of this mara at some point
decides that she really wants to give
him
a blowy
and
he's like no one's ever done this before
and she's because of because he's a man
of his size that an a a woman has never
wanted to go down on him because he's
too well endowed
right
which when i think back to morning glory
milking farm at one point she really
wants to go down on him and i'm like if
she can handle a bull penis
i feel like
i feel like jared might be like
overestimating himself
i'm also i'm like
i legitimately thought that i was like
how big is his dick that
no woman ever
ever
has wanted to go down on him
because he's too well endowed and
especially when like we talk all of like
this book about
women using him to get to his money and
i'm like okay so all of your dick is so
big
that these women are like i get that
you're a billionaire but even i can't do
that right and to be clear it's not like
this is
this is a a thing that happens after the
fact this is a pre-arranged discussion
like
he is essentially
providing these women with
whatever they want in order to have sex
with them right so it's not like
it's a
surprise
for anybody
and yet
we constantly seem surprised in this
book by the size of his dick and i'm
like i don't know how we're surprised
it's literally all we talk about right
but they keep bringing it up like it's
new information yes and so they have the
whole like
like they've he's never been with a
woman who's like wanted to go down on a
man of his size
and then i don't remember if it's in the
exact same sexual encounter because
there's a lot of sexual encounters and
they all kind of bleed together
but
then like their next sexual encounter
that may have been the same night
she's like i'm on birth control because
my doctor dr sarah singh almost sinclair
recently prescribed it to me yeah so she
let's raw dog it yes she had originally
said that they weren't gonna hook up
again that it was a one-time thing after
the fire that she didn't want to use him
blah blah blah blah blah blah
and then
in the book from her perspective she's
like i guess i kind of knew in the back
of my mind that this was totally gonna
happen with jared again so i definitely
got on birth control so that we could
just like bang it out
yeah i feel like the book doesn't read
as someone who decided they were no
longer going to be sexually active
honestly it reads like
some christian high schoolers who are
like
we're not going to have sex but i bought
these condoms just to be safe
right for the sex we're never gonna have
right
right and then he's like floored that he
trusts her enough to go for it even
though he's [ __ ] a lot of women you
guys he's [ __ ] a lot of women he is
not afraid to remind us
i [ __ ] a lot of women and no woman has
ever wanted to go down on me i [ __ ] a
lot of women and i've never gone raw
before like i [ __ ] a lot of women and
fill in the blank i'm like bro
we get it
you're you're a hot billionaire who's
boned a lot of chicks all i can think
about is the beach boys right now get
around get around i get around
i like that we harmonize that we
unintentionally nailed it yes so all
right from there
they raw dog it sure they go without a
condom because she's on birth control
for the sex they weren't gonna have and
he's like you're mine forever now
yeah you can never leave me now that
i've had you bear
but also i don't love you right
i just can't live without you and you're
mine and you are mine but this is not
love i want to be clear because i don't
believe in love exactly because of his
trauma with his girlfriend who was using
him for his money
so then we actually get to where hannah
previously tried to bring us because
i brought us back um to the bachelor and
bachelorette party and at the bachelor
party jared is sitting and talking to
all of his brothers and like do you love
her and he's like no
and they're like
are you super possessive and like can't
imagine with anyone else and he's like
yes it's like [ __ ] everyone like haha
it's love yeah and they're like would
you like walk through fire for her and
he's like yes because he already loki
kind of did even though she doesn't know
he tried to go into her house while it
was on fire to rescue her even though
she had already been rescued
and so he's like oh damn
like maybe it is
and then at the bachelorette party she's
had a few daiquiris and all the women
are like
one like you're totally into him and
she's like no
she does disclose a little bit more she
does
than jared does but it's still kind of
that like oh i don't know like
we're just seeing each other for now
like it's nothing serious
right that's kind of their energy right
and then the next day he comes over
super early shows her the website for
the business
yes he like got up at like the crocodile
and was like the website is up and
that's not the only thing that's up
and yeah that's literally literally
literally what happens
that
wasn't hyperbolic that was very spot on
to what's in the book um
but like the website was up and he
bought her a new phone because she lost
a new computer
in the fire
and then they decided they are
officially together like after
after the bachelor and bachelorette
party the next day they like kind of
officially deem themselves together but
this is also the scene where she's like
he's like she never looked better to me
and she's like i was wearing
a spaghetti strap lacy tank top and
shorts that went to my knees and y'all i
don't know what the [ __ ] james got
j.s scott like what the obsession with
bermuda shorts is and i'm like is this
you trying to make these women less sexy
because it feels like all of the men in
your books are like these like hot alpha
billionaires with zero body fat and then
all of the girls are like i'm plain and
curvy and wear bermuda shorts and i'm
like where i just why do all of you have
bermuda shorts i just don't get it so i
feel like i need to do more research
into jan and like where she's from
because if she is in fact from florida
maybe that is tainting
her definition of sexy to include
bermuda shortly honestly when i think of
bermuda shorts i think of the mission
trip i went on in middle school just
central america
like chelsea with full braces yes doing
ribbon dances whatever the [ __ ] i was
doing on these souls saving souls on
this trip i was a i was a clown
unfortunately i popped a lot of balloons
and that's that is not a euphemism y'all
she was a clown i i was a clown i
dressed up as a clown they tried to
teach me how to make balloon animals i
was not great at it because i was 11 at
the time
i'm like i'm 11 trying to save the souls
of i don't know who the [ __ ] i'm trying
to save the souls up um i popped a lot
of balloons because i was 11 and a
pretty shitty clown euphemism i made the
children
i made the children cry
because i popped so many balloons
but like when i think bermuda shorts i
think that is quintessential chelsea and
panama energy circa
i don't know 2 000 whatever the [ __ ]
year it was that that trip happened
and
no part of me has ever heard shorts
described as going to the knees and
being like this is sexy and to be fair
j.s scott jan our girl is like i agree
it's not sexy but the men are somehow
into it i'm like why are all of your men
why are all of your like super hot
zero body fat alpha males into bermuda
shorts i have just r
chelsea just there's something in the
water and [ __ ] aimsport that we don't
know about and tampa
and tampa we haven't made it are there
bermuda shorts in the tampa books i
honestly don't remember but you know we
wouldn't put it past our girl and we
wouldn't not for a moment
so he's into it she's into it they bang
again
she's like i need a contract and he's
like fine i'll draw one up
i promise
after giving her the phone and the
computer
but when did he
oh so then after
yes i'm getting ahead of myself because
then the night of the rehearsal dinner
when it was just the family hanging out
like all of this drama goes down where
like you find out hope
the youngest sibling so she's the the
youngest of the east coast sinclair she
has the four older brothers evan grady
dante
jared um
and she's married to
josh
i don't know somebody with a j something
something in sutherland j sutherland is
what we'll go with um and then we find
out like this gets disclosed at the
rehearsal dinner that like she used to
be an extreme weather photographer and
had almost died on an assignment because
she was
kidnapped and tortured and raped and
you're like i didn't know tornadoes were
dangerous in that capacity they were in
india
in india yes that is a big point and
then
um
the mom of jared's college girlfriend
shows up that night yes and so they're
like processing that hope went through
all of this
and her husband
whatever jay sutherland is like
we're together now i'll keep her safe
and all the brothers are like we'll keep
her safe
and so they're all processing that and
then they're like someone's at the door
for you jared and he's like what
and it's the mother of his college
girlfriend who is sitting there and
she's like
so i found her diaries and i read them
and i was reading all about how she was
in love with your best friend and was
just using you for college tuition so
can you actually tell me what happened
that night yes and mara jumps up and is
like you will get the [ __ ] out and all
the brothers are like we will remove you
like you can't be here like the brothers
don't fully know what's happening
they're just like except evan don
because they're like do we need to call
the police then dante's like i the
police are already here [ __ ] what's
going on i am the police i am the police
and i'm like [ __ ] you dante i love your
energy
i'm like both somehow [ __ ] you
and i i love your energy mad respect bro
so
then all of jared's like college trauma
gets brought to light with his family
yeah so evan tells them the whole story
while
jared is talking to the mom
right
roughly i also think
if i remember i thought if i'm i could
be remembering this very incorrectly
let's be completely honest but i felt
like she came in like had some questions
and then jared wasn't like answering
them very quickly then everyone's like
we want answers what's going on like
evan just like jumped into what happened
in front of everyone yeah and then at
the end
jared like walks her outside and they
talk and then jared answers more
questions from all the siblings i think
so yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um
but then after that
he drives mara
back to their house now because they
live together she's also no longer in
the guest house in case anyone was
wondering she's living
no she is in the guest house jared is
sad she's in the guest house he's like
why the [ __ ] is isn't she in the main
house where she was a few days ago we're
like
because you like didn't really clarify
this use your words jared and so then
they [ __ ] on a mercedes
well it's also important to note it's
her new mercedes she doesn't know that
until after they bang on it
did they banner did he bang or did he
just
give her they definitely bang i just i
you just reread it
honestly i skimmed it i was so over
there she calls her
she calls him pretty a couple of times
and he's like you're gonna pay for that
spanx her a little bit bangs her
on the mercedes yes that did happen and
then he's like this is your new car and
she's like the [ __ ] and he's like i gave
away your truck it wasn't safe i gave it
to because they hired a couple of
teenagers to help her with the business
i gave it to the teenager who's helping
you with the business so he can fix it
up so his family will have a car this is
your new one it's safer it's practical
blah blah blah blah and she's like i'm
not fully against it but like maybe
don't give away my possessions without
asking me yeah but then we also find out
like jared like snuck that like he could
buy her a new car into their business
contract right for her products
products
um so then that was the rehearsal dinner
big night for the whole sinclair family
the next day is their wedding i don't
know if you all remember but a no
ordinary billionaire
the youth center was a very prominent
setting um
and it is also where dante rescued sarah
from the kidnapper whatever go back to
the serial killer
[ __ ] hot mess all across the board
and so
um they are at the wedding
mara goes to the restroom at one point
and is like thinking she's never been
happier comes out and is like trying to
get to jared but is stuck behind a large
man and jared can't see her and she
overhears jared saying like oh i need to
tell mara
that i bought her house
right and i'm the reason she was
displaced right i'm the reason she was
getting evicted
it's all on me and the the brothers are
all around like dude i can't believe you
haven't told her yet you have to tell
her and he was like i know
i just don't want to hurt her and so
she's thinking the only reason he's with
her is because he
ruined her life basically like he
ruined her business he took her home and
so she's thinking that he's doing this
just out of pity for her because he's
done that in the past so he didn't tell
his his girlfriend's mom that she was a
cheating
individual
and so
you're honestly giving him so much more
credit that's what it says in the book i
know
but you're still giving him more credit
than i did but that's what it says
that's what that's the picture that jan
is painting
so she's like obviously that's the only
reason he's with me because i'm so plain
and flat and curvy and whatever random
words that you're like these are not
congruent they're not whatever
whatever um um conflicting adjectives
you can think of that's me
he's only with me because i am fat and
stupid and don't have a home so she
feels bad for me
yes he pities me so she runs away
from the wedding to
her burned down home right
which is unsafe to be in which is yeah
condemned and not safe to be in but also
evan
sees this all play out and evan sees
mara overhear this and sees like jared
not no mara heard and like is like
trying to
help out because he's evan and that's
what he does so
evan follows mara to her burn down home
that she's hanging out and like crying
in and having an existential crisis in
yeah and is like no he had like jared
had good reasons and then at this point
he loves you and that's this is where we
also find out that like
officially find out that jared had tried
to run into mara's burning building to
save her
because we didn't really know that up
front we only knew like evan saved mara
but we didn't know that like
jared had gotten there
before the place fully burned down and
had tried to like go in and save her and
evan actually had to intervene or jared
would have died yeah so then mara is
sitting there and she's like oh my gosh
he loves me and he like went into a
burning building to save me how
incredible
yes and then
jared's like or evan excuse me evan's
like jared obviously loves you maybe you
need to give him a chance and she's like
maybe you're right so they stand up from
the soot covered floor which is very
prevalent in the book because it's it's
evan's favorite tuxedo that he's ruined
to sit on the floor this is my favorite
yes very uppity with his this is my most
comfortable suit earlier in the book and
this one he's like oh this is my
favorite i'm like okay bro
you're a billionaire buy some more
[ __ ] suits
you can buy this exact one so she hugs
him as a thank you
for thank you for comforting me and
coming and talking me down when i had
been super upset and all that good stuff
and then jared had finally realized mara
was missing so like he comes to the
house and happens upon
his brother
evan the dog
hugging
the
[ __ ] hugging the hussy and he's like i
will [ __ ] kill you and she's like no
you won't
please stop she like bodily prevents him
by essentially i'm like imagining a full
koala bear because in the book it
describes her like latching onto his
neck and then wrapping her legs around
his waist so she goes like full koala
bear to stop him from
going after his brother because she's
assuming that he is going to
like physically hold her up rather than
let her fall and go after his brother so
he's like i'm still gonna kill him and
she's like no you're not take me home
and
i mean that's really it yeah
i feel like the honestly this book is so
anti-climactic because you're like cool
the entire book
the
what like the the drama and tension
that's been building has all been
predicated on
mara finding out
that
jared had bought her home and
essentially like got her evicted from
her childhood home which is the catalyst
for everything for the whole [ __ ]
book right and so then at the end she
like she finds this out and then like
talks to ev like and you're like oh [ __ ]
like what's gonna happen like clearly
there's like there's gonna be like a
disconnect for a while and then evan
shows up and is like he had his reasons
and he ran into the building when it was
on fire because he didn't know i'd
already saved you because he loves you
and she's like oh okay
well i guess jared
did do this with good intentions
so then like by the time jared shows up
she's like
no we're good right there's like there
he doesn't even know that she had beef
with him for a little while right she's
already forgiven him because she
because evan explains that he realized
that jared realized the house was unsafe
and that's why he
had his moment and bought the house to
get her out of it because he didn't want
her in a house that was unsafe
which like we're all supposed to just
believe is because he like
subconsciously was already in love with
her and couldn't admit it to himself so
he like bought this house yeah to
make sure she was safe but then also
bought it because
the
business he was going to start with his
college roommate was an architectural
like
refurbishing business of restoration
apologize not refurbish restoring big
difference
it was not that big eight
not as big as jared's dick apparently
nothing is as big as jared's stick from
how they describe it because the way
they describe it
makes it sound of epic proportions super
epic
and so
yeah like there's really no
drama
at the end like but like there's no
tension between mara and jared nope they
just bang again
yeah they're just like
oh i realize you had good intentions
when you did this yeah let's [ __ ] and
she is like i know you don't believe in
love i've told you i loved you
like i don't expect reciprocation and
he's like you're [ __ ] stupid of
course i love you so much that it's
crazyness
also it was the first time he used the
words so was she crazy
no because i feel as though he was not
forthcoming with this necessarily up
front yeah so i mean basically that's
where the book ends there isn't well and
he says marry me very demandingly so and
she's like try asking
just like at the farmer's market there's
a lot of symmetry in this in fact they
even note the symmetry in the book
they pointed out very specifically and
so eventually he says will you just like
he did at the farmers market and she
says i will thank you
just like she did at the farmers market
and then they decide they're gonna get
married and then in the epilogue it's
like they've gotten married very quickly
her business is booming she's opened
like a factory
he's decided that he's gonna restart his
business of of restoring homes
not refurbishing
i mean i guess also refurbishing i don't
[ __ ] know and is there a difference i
don't please tell you i think so
i mean i don't i thought they were
synonyms
it feels synonymous to me
so that's it really yeah so like the
whole book is building up to this
tension of like mara finding out
that jared had [ __ ] her over by buying
her house
but then evan shows up and is like he
did it because he loves you and your
house wasn't safe if that wasn't obvious
by the [ __ ] fire that you had
and then she was like when you say it
like that i guess he really does love me
and then jared shows up and is like i'll
fight my brother and she's like don't
fight him i love you
and then he's like i love you too
the end and you're like i really am
curious about how we decided this was
the journey to go on with the doll maker
and that's the book guys she's not just
a dollar i would also like to note
because we did forget to mention this
her jam business really does take off
boomin um in fact they had hired some
high schoolers to help but then honestly
they outgrew the guest house
for making these products and so then
they bought an industrial warehouse
products and then they bought an
industrial warehouse
so that they could make the products
products in math
um
and that
she now has a booming
business called mara's kitchen and she
and jared designed the logo themselves
so i imagine it looks fantastic very
professional and she's very proud of all
of the jobs that she is providing to
aimsport and that is
that's the story guys so i don't know
what about this was forbidden as the
forbidden billionaire i don't know what
about it
not a damn thing was forbidden like
their romance wasn't forbidden
i mean going in the condemned building
was forbidden but i don't think that was
it the size of his
his dick was forbidden like i
legitimately i'm right there with you
what was forbidden about this jan if you
are not a bot
please let us know we do have questions
if you're an actual human woman and not
a bot or potentially a man in a basement
we want to know we really would love
some answers here so
thank you for joining us we love you
we're so glad you're here and we hope
you have a wonderful night yeah thank
you for a wonderful day oh wait also
because we always forget not always we
occasionally forget
how do we rate this book and are we
rating it
out of taffy out of toffee out of jam
jar
i think it should be out of out of taffy
out of dolls out of victorian dolls
victorian dolls out of handmade
victorian dolls i'm gonna go
three out of seven
i was gonna go one out of three
i feel like we're close
yeah we're not we're not far off there
so we're not i'll say three out of seven
victorian dolls
um
annabelles annabelles and jam jars
yeah that feels right to me that feels
right to me
um so yeah i think that that yeah that's
a
that's a generous way and honestly we
went into a lot of detail y'all so if
you feel like you want more information
you can read it but frankly
you will probably get less than what we
gave you yeah you know everything you
need to know at this juncture really
filled in the narrative of that one we
did um don't worry our joint reviews we
will continue next with evan sinclair
because we can't abandon jan like this
never we we gotta do a few more i don't
know if we're gonna make it all the way
to tampa before we move on to some other
territory but i think we can at least
make it through like the biological
sinclair brothers yeah yeah yeah for
sure we can make it through evan yeah we
can make it through evan after evan we
get into the cousins
and
we can also get to the cousins in the
future we might need to take a break if
we're being honest we'll just see how it
goes yes all right thank you we love you
i apologize that you already heard us
say this because we forgot to do our
rating system so pretend that you didn't
hear it already and you're hearing it
now for the first time yeah it's magical
and
we just really appreciate that you spent
this hour and whatever however many
minutes with us
so
stay safe out there and
keep reading smut i guess yeah keep
reading smart
next week on smart club like have you
seen like those like memes where they're
like
don't jump to conclusions and then it's
me jumping to conclusions and it's like
someone like on one of those like
three-story trampolines like this is
what it feels like here he's like i was
just worried about getting you pregnant
she's like i knew he wouldn't want to
get a horse daughter pregnant and you're
like i really don't think it had
anything to do with your upbringing i
just think like
he didn't want to have children that's
more believable for how trauma works
than just suddenly being cool with a bj
like
that's more in line with how trauma
works so at least she got something
halfway right
well that's it for this week's mudsluts
we hope it was good for you because it
sure was great for us
if you're digging what we're doing it
would mean a lot if you take a minute to
rate and review the show wherever you're
listening right now
maybe tell that sexy someone to let us
in here
we love you
we appreciate you
and we'll see you next week
stay spotty
[Music]
you