Speaker 1: Welcome friends to Beard listick with me. I'm Kevin Smith Smith.
Speaker 1: Oh if you if it's Tuesday, kids, it is today
Speaker 1: is Tuesday? Do you you're not? You fuck with Disney,
Speaker 1: but you don't see you next Tuesday. But you fuck
Speaker 1: with Disney, but you're not familiar with the Mickey mouse Club,
Speaker 1: are you?
Speaker 2: I I did not watch the Mickey mouse Club.
Speaker 1: That was you fucking missed out. And when I say
Speaker 1: Mickey mouse Club, you're probably thinking of Ryan Gosling and
Speaker 1: Bryant and Briny Bright Brightney spears.
Speaker 2: Listening.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's not even what I think of when I
Speaker 1: think of the Mickey mouse Club, because oh yeah, Mickey
Speaker 1: mouse Club for me. Every generation gets the Mickey mouse
Speaker 1: Club it deserves. And you'll notice that your generation has not.
Speaker 2: That's sad, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there used to be a whole flock of fucking
Speaker 1: kids with mouse ears.
Speaker 2: Yeah what the what the generation got?
Speaker 1: You had COVID and you couldn't go to school and
Speaker 1: you don't have a Mickey Mouse cl And that's why
Speaker 1: your generation school is fucking lost.
Speaker 3: Broken.
Speaker 2: We just go back a second. COVID was way after
Speaker 2: my school.
Speaker 1: Well, there were some in school.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you would have been in school, I would be
Speaker 2: in college.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I number one, thank you for not going
Speaker 1: to college. Every morning I wake up, I'm like, thank
Speaker 1: god that kid didn't go girl after my own heart.
Speaker 1: But more importantly, if you had committed to like some
Speaker 1: of his four year fucking sheep bullshit. And by the way,
Speaker 1: we thanked Brookdale Community College are local sponsor, now you
Speaker 1: would have been fucked. You would have been one of
Speaker 1: those kids that was paying eighty thousand dollars a year
Speaker 1: to go to school on a laptop.
Speaker 2: My best friend in the world, as you know, Olivia,
Speaker 2: Olivia was going to school in Scotland. Poor one the
Speaker 2: poor two out for Olivia. She was going to school
Speaker 2: in Scotland, and then COVID.
Speaker 1: Happened came But that poor that sounds expensive. Sorry, I
Speaker 1: say poor like that, you can get everything she wants
Speaker 1: and father, may I have a pony, my friend.
Speaker 2: Who wasn't in an unfortunate situation. Olivia was going to
Speaker 2: school in Scotland when COVID happened, and then had to
Speaker 2: do art school on the computer, but then never got
Speaker 2: to go back to Scotland because COVID fucked it up.
Speaker 2: And now she's back in school and had to restart
Speaker 2: from the beginning.
Speaker 1: Because didn't count all her pre COVID credits from.
Speaker 2: Edinburgh and she was there for two years.
Speaker 1: Edinburgh. No she was, No, I thought she was. I
Speaker 1: think your Glasgow cousin went to Edinburgh.
Speaker 2: Edinburgh perhaps the first off, Yeah, it's Edinburgh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think I thought she was in.
Speaker 2: Like, I just can't say it as nice as you can.
Speaker 2: So I wasn't gonna Edinburgh. Yeah, I wasn't gonna say.
Speaker 1: That is I'm so glad that you weren't mid I
Speaker 1: mean that's a hellish situation where it's like, what do
Speaker 1: you mean.
Speaker 2: You'll start over from the beginning.
Speaker 1: To rip off, But just in general, man, like if
Speaker 1: you've been in college and then suddenly we were taking
Speaker 1: courses like online because they're like you can't come to
Speaker 1: the building. Did they throw out of Scotland. We're like,
Speaker 1: get the fuck.
Speaker 3: Out, get the fuck out your dirty, dirty oh my,
Speaker 3: because you'll bring your.
Speaker 1: I gotta find I've got to fund it, I've got
Speaker 1: I've got I love you. I always will pull. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to pull from braveheart. God every man lives, not
Speaker 1: to every man who dies. You know how you know
Speaker 1: who's really Mosures, mosuresh Scott Mosers, Michael Kine's version of
Speaker 1: Alfred the size of a tangerine. Anyway, did they throw
Speaker 1: out or now they were like you gotta go.
Speaker 2: I think she left before it got to that point
Speaker 2: because she get stuck.
Speaker 1: Oh really they're be like if you don't go, you
Speaker 1: got to stay forever.
Speaker 2: That's exactly.
Speaker 1: How did you know? They says that they got a
Speaker 1: castle there we go through the maze and.
Speaker 2: Ship like that was the best the best Edinburgh film.
Speaker 1: That award which you can't see on camera. Boy there
Speaker 1: with the person going like this nameless face, person going
Speaker 1: like that looks like the Oscars this but is that?
Speaker 1: That's the Audience Award from the Edinburgh Film Festival for
Speaker 1: Clerks too.
Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you were going to say for yoga.
Speaker 1: Well, there is a word that I got around the
Speaker 1: time of yoga, hoss.
Speaker 2: Uh around the around the same time.
Speaker 1: No crystal one on the second shelf wasn't a word
Speaker 1: I got while we were there for yogas or so
Speaker 1: it may even say it does not with yoga. I mean,
Speaker 1: in my heart, if you believe.
Speaker 2: Going to Scotland was the best it was my favorite
Speaker 2: place I've ever been.
Speaker 1: You liked going. I love Scotland because of that, because
Speaker 1: of like the castle and ship like that, because you
Speaker 1: can do that. That's very farm. We got it way
Speaker 1: cheaper over here. That's very farm. We go around Halloween
Speaker 1: right fucking scarpon or whatever the fuck it's called spooky vills.
Speaker 1: What do they call it?
Speaker 2: What's going on here?
Speaker 1: They call it? It's very far, not scary far. What
Speaker 1: do they call it?
Speaker 2: A universe Christmas? There is not very far?
Speaker 3: Are you serious?
Speaker 1: I am honestly, I ain't evening throwing shanat that. What
Speaker 1: a smart fucking thing. They're like, Bro, we're not. We've
Speaker 1: been in business forever. You don't think we'd have thought
Speaker 1: of marry years ago.
Speaker 2: And scary Come on, come on.
Speaker 1: Wow man, let's figure out more stuff than you do.
Speaker 1: It's fairy farm, so it's all little kids and ship
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: What's it called? Like a rent fair? But at knots
Speaker 2: I forgot number.
Speaker 1: One copyright Harley and Kevin. Let's take that idea to
Speaker 1: bring it to them and do not fairy farm for
Speaker 1: Carrie car everyone gets pigs blood dropped off the ship
Speaker 1: as soon as you walk in and you're like, everyone's like,
Speaker 1: plug it up, plug it up. Not carry farm, not
Speaker 1: dairy farm, not dairy farm. No, it's like a big
Speaker 1: we love milk. Look, yeah, not's non dairy farm. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's non dairy farm.
Speaker 2: Not dairy farm. Is another Halloween thing it's for it's
Speaker 2: a horrible.
Speaker 1: Not dairy not non dairy. I mean that could be
Speaker 1: the event, yeah event, I like you lost us. Is
Speaker 1: it not Carrie Farm more blood less oat.
Speaker 2: Milk, hairy fairy Gary Harry, that's Gary Farm.
Speaker 1: So it could be a fucking Gary the shelf, fucking
Speaker 1: from a SpongeBob. It could be a it could be
Speaker 1: a collab as the shell just Gary, No Gary his pet?
Speaker 1: His name is?
Speaker 2: You said a shell?
Speaker 1: The Shell the shelf, his buddy the show, Harry, not
Speaker 1: Harry Farm.
Speaker 2: Hair complex.
Speaker 1: It's like, fucking for what's that? No November? And what
Speaker 1: do they call the other thing when you yeah, but
Speaker 1: isn't there a no shave thing, like a yeah mustache
Speaker 1: November or something like that. There's a time like for
Speaker 1: a month where you don't shave.
Speaker 2: I think it's called no shade November, but maybe I.
Speaker 1: Thought it was no November where it's like nobody's fucking
Speaker 1: jerking off for all November, which, by the way, I'm
Speaker 1: against in November.
Speaker 2: For the record, I'm.
Speaker 1: Fully against it.
Speaker 2: I don't maybe I'm wrong, but I thought it was
Speaker 2: no shave November.
Speaker 1: Wiggle your ears like good mask of tears. We're gonna
Speaker 1: have a special guest today because Tuesday is Guest star Day.
Speaker 2: Tap tap, Yeah, those two who do not have the
Speaker 2: pleasure of viewing this. My dad just danced for me.
Speaker 1: You missed my whole routine. I did a whole ship
Speaker 1: down the Steps special. I was tap recently that I
Speaker 1: didn't know could tap. Oh, it's fucking Steve Martin. It
Speaker 1: was a clip from the early eighties and him and
Speaker 1: Gregory Hines, who I did know could tap and tap
Speaker 1: insanely well, like, just did a fucking routine on like
Speaker 1: a one a one off late night show, not even
Speaker 1: like this is the Oscars and fucking you only have
Speaker 1: to do this once in a lifetime and everyone will
Speaker 1: see it. It was just like, you know, this week's
Speaker 1: edition of whatever the fuck they were doing, and the
Speaker 1: two of them were like just fire. Steve Martin is
Speaker 1: beyond multi time. I've always missed but he truly fucking
Speaker 1: he don't miss. But my man was so on point
Speaker 1: with a pro tapper like Gregory Hines's whole fucking career
Speaker 1: was predicated on I can dance, and I can especially
Speaker 1: I can tap.
Speaker 2: I can dance.
Speaker 1: Steve Martin, you know, he's a comedian and he plays
Speaker 1: in banjo and he's an actor and he's a fucking writer,
Speaker 1: and he's like, oh, by the way, and he did
Speaker 1: all the fucking faces like I would imagine if I
Speaker 1: was doing it, you did my face and be like same.
Speaker 1: I hope this is right, and people will be like,
Speaker 1: the entertainment value of your feet is killed by me
Speaker 1: staring at the terror in your eyes, your mouth a game,
Speaker 1: they might as well be doing.
Speaker 3: A fucking two step.
Speaker 1: This guy's face mimicked all the moves, so he was just.
Speaker 2: Like you and I could never.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I was.
Speaker 1: Blown away and it was like fucking a forty year
Speaker 1: old routine.
Speaker 2: I was like, this guy, don't stop, I say you
Speaker 2: and I could never. And then the first beardless stick
Speaker 2: was me live. We're like, what.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen with Iley Gwynn and Kevin Smith, doesn't
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not like not for nothing.
Speaker 2: I tried, Remember I tried.
Speaker 1: Bullshit, You ain't tried until like we were getting paid money.
Speaker 1: Like let's imagine they were like, you guys are gonna
Speaker 1: do beardlesstick lets me at Radio City Music Hall.
Speaker 2: Love it for us.
Speaker 1: You're getting paid like our take.
Speaker 2: Oh what then we're fucking doing four hundred grand?
Speaker 1: Oh god, four hundred grand. Lord if we let's say,
Speaker 1: if we can't.
Speaker 2: Say anything except stop being vegan, and yes, all right.
Speaker 1: To four hundred grand at sellout, that's our walk away potential.
Speaker 1: But you gotta like and we got eight months before
Speaker 1: the show, and we find out like it sells out
Speaker 1: in the first month, so we got like seven months
Speaker 1: before the show.
Speaker 2: I love this future for us.
Speaker 1: The tickets are already sold, so we can just show up
Speaker 1: and do the fucking thing. And everyone's like, that's what
Speaker 1: we expected. But here's a chance to fucking you're gonna
Speaker 1: be at Radio City Music Hall. You have Oh my god,
Speaker 1: we would have seven months to learn a routine and
Speaker 1: again every day talented but also just a human being
Speaker 1: like us. Is he maybe superior being perhaps, but if
Speaker 1: a human being can tap dance, can be taught, children
Speaker 1: can be taught to tap dance some children. All right,
Speaker 1: how could we not learn it? I'm really working myself
Speaker 1: up and it's a fake scenario. I'm like, God, damn it, Hardy,
Speaker 1: we're gonna learn to do this, fucking do it. And
Speaker 1: really the scenario won't be radio sit music all. It'll
Speaker 1: be like spodcastle hey, one hundred and thirty people show up. No,
Speaker 1: let's it's under one hundred to Ernie's like you want
Speaker 1: to cancel it? And I'm like, no, no, no, we
Speaker 1: learned this routine we're doing.
Speaker 2: We've been tapping for eight months.
Speaker 1: It rains real hard that night, so only eighteen people
Speaker 1: show up and then we have to like no.
Speaker 2: That'd be two steps. That'd be this sad two step.
Speaker 1: I mean, as long as we can shoot just the
Speaker 1: stage and ship and as long as you don't see
Speaker 1: the audience and then.
Speaker 2: I feel like one of us falls and like wait,
Speaker 2: what was it?
Speaker 1: It's a tiny stage. It's a very good chance for like,
Speaker 1: because we can't come from backstage like bugs and Daffy
Speaker 1: when they're like, oh, what heights will hit We're just
Speaker 1: in front of them to start the show. So we'd
Speaker 1: be standing there and be like Christian Christian music.
Speaker 2: And then for our cue please.
Speaker 1: And then we start the lights not on it, so
Speaker 1: while we start in the dark, then the light and
Speaker 1: it throws us off.
Speaker 2: And then one of us makes the other one fall.
Speaker 1: And it's the greatest show all time. I can't believe
Speaker 1: this was free.
Speaker 2: Our bones pop out because we break our legs. Why
Speaker 2: are those scenarios so funny?
Speaker 1: Like why was he saying.
Speaker 2: That I don't know, but I'm gonna film it.
Speaker 3: Holy ship, this is gold.
Speaker 1: When he's in a state of drama, he starts streaming
Speaker 1: who He's not?
Speaker 3: Who are you? Are you Nixon? Are you making a mouse?
Speaker 3: We know that one?
Speaker 1: Move on? Oh god?
Speaker 2: Why the scenarios were one of us like try to
Speaker 2: do something but then gets really hurt insteads the one
Speaker 2: from last week.
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's the notion of trying.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the root of a lot of comedy,
Speaker 1: is like he fell, So this is we tried, we failed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And the audience can go along with it and we
Speaker 1: can enjoy it too, because it's not literally happened to us,
Speaker 1: Like if this was us literally going like we tried
Speaker 1: to sell a show a radio city musical we sold. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we still did it, and I would radio City Music all.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna cry cry the hypothetical.
Speaker 1: But at that point I would give people a bunch
Speaker 1: of like cameras to go shoot from the back to
Speaker 1: the empty place, like just start the bag and zoom in.
Speaker 1: I just need like two minutes, so I give it
Speaker 1: into like a one minute fucking TikTok about how sad
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 2: Oh, then we then we blow up.
Speaker 1: Fuck you know what, with all due respect to the audience,
Speaker 1: fuck the audience. We should just learn to tap for
Speaker 1: the joy of tap. Because that's what was on Steve
Speaker 1: Martin's face part of the damn exactly. He was not
Speaker 1: dancing like oh, I've waited my whole life to do
Speaker 1: this in front of people. He was like, look, I'm
Speaker 1: a tap enthusiast. What do you need and he put
Speaker 1: his skills on.
Speaker 2: That's us and not. At the end of the day,
Speaker 2: if you and I are anything, it's a tap enthusiast.
Speaker 3: Now we are recent converts at the very least.
Speaker 2: Maybe we got a fall and break bones to get there,
Speaker 2: but maybe maybe tapping is the way.
Speaker 1: Look, at the end of the day, you wear some
Speaker 1: knee pads if you fall, so be it. You can
Speaker 1: tap in.
Speaker 2: We're wearing knee pads while we're tapping.
Speaker 1: But that's how you begin. I guarantee you s Steve Martin,
Speaker 1: He'll be like, oh, of course I started pads. He's
Speaker 1: like in the day I took him off and realized
Speaker 1: I would never fall. He's like, you're gonna fall, kid,
Speaker 1: but then you get up. I'm a wild and crazy guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's to switch to a sad topic. Sad, but at
Speaker 1: the same time, yeah, I guess there's no way to sad. Momily, Oh,
Speaker 1: Momily lost her dear friend, princess. I feel like, who
Speaker 1: names a kid princess? Nobody? This was a cat? Is
Speaker 1: her beloved cat of twenty two years?
Speaker 2: Twenty one?
Speaker 1: Is that right? Really? Sure?
Speaker 2: Said twenty one.
Speaker 1: Well, it's as long as my dad was gone. Dad's
Speaker 1: been gone twenty two years, she said in June, it
Speaker 1: was my dad died in May and then the cat
Speaker 1: came in June. Yes, that's definitely twenty two. Oh really,
Speaker 1: because he died in Mommy, Oh, no, he died in three.
Speaker 1: You're right, Oh, she's right. Listen to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, put some fucking respect on.
Speaker 3: My explaining to my mother, your husband died.
Speaker 1: When I say he died, I guess my mother and
Speaker 1: he died twenty two years ago. She's like, yes, tiger,
Speaker 1: oh oh no. So it was a very look whether
Speaker 1: she was twenty one or twenty two, because she did
Speaker 1: come to momiyully, but she was more than a kid.
Speaker 1: She'd been with momily since my dad died. And uh
Speaker 1: when mom my Mom's been in the hospital and out
Speaker 1: of the hospital pretty badly for like the last two years,
Speaker 1: for months at a time, stretches, and every time she
Speaker 1: went in the hospital, we were like, oh, Princess, please
Speaker 1: don't fucking die. Like you got a hold on princess,
Speaker 1: and she did. She did, Like that's the thing. That
Speaker 1: cat was never like super fan of mine. And she
Speaker 1: she was missing her front claws. Oh yeah, so she
Speaker 1: was like the boxer.
Speaker 2: My grandma did not declaw her. She got her when
Speaker 2: she adopted her.
Speaker 1: She was she was declawed. And so she goes, you go, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't never do that, she would go, and then
Speaker 1: she'd be like.
Speaker 2: Yeah she would. It was so funny. I have a video.
Speaker 1: She loved my mom. She hated everybody else, but towards
Speaker 1: the end she got way more user friendly, and that
Speaker 1: was because she was, like everything was shut down and stuff.
Speaker 1: So I loved Momily, she did so much, loved her,
Speaker 1: Momily coming home in the cafy and like, yeah, so
Speaker 1: poor one out for princess. But twenty one slash twenty
Speaker 1: two years in a cat that's pretty pretty.
Speaker 2: Magical, that is incredible.
Speaker 1: But because of that, you know, Momily very blue. So
Speaker 1: I spoke to Momily this morning, and my sister's there,
Speaker 1: I did, and she my cousin Andrea sent her a pillow.
Speaker 1: When my mom was at the hospital, like last year,
Speaker 1: there was a princess pillow. Yeah, then mom lost that
Speaker 1: pillow or it got taken away with like the bedding
Speaker 1: at the hospital and stuff. She sent her a new one.
Speaker 1: It's almost like a full fucking body pillow. So it's
Speaker 1: a picture of a cat like and so my mom
Speaker 1: rests her head like between her ears, and then.
Speaker 2: Years ago, wait, did you say it's a full body
Speaker 2: like you could sleep human sized? Yeah, human size.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like her princess's face is as big as momaly's.
Speaker 1: So what she puts her face between the ears can
Speaker 1: be done. You can have full body pillows of all
Speaker 1: your cats, or you could just love your cats in
Speaker 1: the real world. Will sent us new tripods. So for
Speaker 1: the first time, the cameras aren't sitting on little boxes.
Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure I'm down with the angles yet,
Speaker 1: though I know. She keeps like, don't close the cap.
Speaker 2: Please, I gotta see you.
Speaker 1: So the tripods are working out. If you, I mean,
Speaker 1: if you're like, why would you need tripods for a
Speaker 1: show I'm listening to. If you ever want to see
Speaker 1: this show, you want to see this show, give us money,
Speaker 1: you to that Kevin Smith club, you can watch us
Speaker 1: do it. My mother is a huge fan. I mean
Speaker 1: she's like, I watch your show all the time.
Speaker 2: She's all she's all the sixty seven.
Speaker 1: Reviews, every one of them. Is that how many reviews?
Speaker 1: There are sixty seven on.
Speaker 2: The Apple podcast right now?
Speaker 1: Yes, you count the reviews.
Speaker 2: It says the number at the top.
Speaker 1: Well, what's is that good?
Speaker 2: I mean for now, I think, yeah.
Speaker 1: It's a different world time was. I launched it like
Speaker 1: I launched a podcast. I launched it in the top
Speaker 1: fiveies onlike Apple on the iTunes chart. For example, Malcolm's
Speaker 1: podcast blow Hard, we launched him at number one. That's
Speaker 1: because I mean, I'm not saying it the show wasn't
Speaker 1: worthy of it and stuff, but it was also a
Speaker 1: much different landscape, like there.
Speaker 2: Were Beardless is not the first thing that people type
Speaker 2: into their podcast search bar?
Speaker 4: Is that right?
Speaker 2: But it is the only thing that comes.
Speaker 1: Up for beardless. Yes, we like subjects am I interested in? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But I mean, look, it's the I was talking to
Speaker 1: somebody last night. M hmm. It was a smart moment.
Speaker 1: I was talking to mam Ley and Virginia and I
Speaker 1: was I was telling him like, how we launched with
Speaker 1: our Heart. Our Heart didn't want to launch until February. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's when they had the budget for the show, And
Speaker 1: I was like, let's launch now because I'm out doing
Speaker 1: press for four thirty. I'm gonna be on Sep Myers
Speaker 1: and you know, when you guys are ready to kick
Speaker 1: in with a budget, fantastic. But until then we'll just
Speaker 1: like quietly do our thing and have a library of
Speaker 1: shows for people to That's way.
Speaker 2: I was like, is there a fucking ghost of a.
Speaker 1: Queen of size over here? I love? So, you know,
Speaker 1: there's when February hits then they start marketing the show,
Speaker 1: But until then, I'm happy.
Speaker 2: To we're just chilling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well what I told what I thank you what
Speaker 1: I was telling them mamily and and Virginia was like,
Speaker 1: this is the show that I like. It's like podcasts,
Speaker 1: like I just do it, Yeah, I do it. There's
Speaker 1: no agenda where I'm like, we gotta talk about pop culture,
Speaker 1: we gotta fucking make people laugh because we're in a
Speaker 1: room full of people, like in a live place. It
Speaker 1: it's more like this podcasts where I'm like, well, we're
Speaker 1: just gonna sit around bullshit and like the whole podcast medium,
Speaker 1: even YouTube back in the day used to just be
Speaker 1: like fucking two people in a basement.
Speaker 2: Talking whenever someone else.
Speaker 1: Now they're all billionaires, your.
Speaker 2: Father, Hey, hey, but you started it all I was.
Speaker 1: I was early man. I was early adopter and pushed
Speaker 1: it to everybody for years. It was just like you
Speaker 1: start podcasts, you start podcasts staying on stage, tell that
Speaker 1: you start podcasts. A lot of people listening. And now
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, I have a new podcast, So I
Speaker 1: can't hear your buddy listening to other podcasts any with
Speaker 1: the word beard in it. No, we rule.
Speaker 2: Whenever someone asked me what our podcast is about, I'm
Speaker 2: like it's literally, no, just tell yeah, you know, I said,
Speaker 2: what's it about? No, it's an hour, it's about an hour.
Speaker 2: I don't think you understand.
Speaker 1: I don't think I do understand. And my response is
Speaker 1: it's about an hour. Period party her heart. What does
Speaker 1: your generation say online or whatever? Like what what it
Speaker 1: has replaced? L O L.
Speaker 2: I always just say I say L O L or
Speaker 2: l M a O or ha ha ha. I was
Speaker 2: a ha ha yeah, I like you don't you don't
Speaker 2: ha ha very often.
Speaker 1: You never l O L I ha ha because you
Speaker 1: could choose it for if somebody writes something you do,
Speaker 1: but I would never write out you would.
Speaker 2: Never All of his texts are grammatically correct.
Speaker 3: Also not true.
Speaker 1: I leave the period off the last sentence about all.
Speaker 2: Of them because I started to be like, stop texting
Speaker 2: me with the period. It's I think you're mad at me.
Speaker 1: You're like why, Yeah, that's true. You were like that
Speaker 1: period's awfully aggressive? Is It's like?
Speaker 2: Yeah, whenever you would text me, I would FaceTime you
Speaker 2: to be like are you.
Speaker 1: Mad at me? Like?
Speaker 3: Why look a period at the end of your sentence.
Speaker 1: It was like, this is what I was taught.
Speaker 2: They were all grammatically correct and.
Speaker 1: Miscontansa right taught me. I mean, I don't even Miss
Speaker 1: Beanie taught me to do that. Can you name all
Speaker 1: your teachers from school? I'll give you mine. I'll give
Speaker 1: you a chance to think, and I'll watch how quickly
Speaker 1: I could do it without even thinking. Ready, fifty four
Speaker 1: year old man started school in nineteen seventy six. My teacher,
Speaker 1: Miss Beatie, Missus Beattie. She was an older woman, gray hair,
Speaker 1: which like, in my mind she was eighty, but now
Speaker 1: that I think about it, tops sixty.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: My second grade teacher, also named.
Speaker 2: Missus Was it the same moment, Not at all.
Speaker 1: I was a younger version of that woman, not her daughter,
Speaker 1: but she married Missus Bede's son. So second grade Missus
Speaker 1: Beatty was attractive, you know. Whereas Missus b looked like
Speaker 1: your grandma, second grade Missus Beady looked like she looked
Speaker 1: like honestly, Jane Jetson like me, George Jetson, Jane his wife.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Wow, Ms Beattie, Missus Beadie, I gotta remember, say missus
Speaker 1: because she was a married ass woman. Yeah, please come on,
Speaker 1: Mss Beaty in first grade is the teacher the first
Speaker 1: person I ever said fuck to wow in first grade,
Speaker 1: because did you Matthew Creeden, Matthew Pete Creeden. That was
Speaker 1: his nickname, Pete, even though where do you get how
Speaker 1: do you get Pete from Matthew?
Speaker 2: You were just giving him his middle name too.
Speaker 1: I was like, come on, man, I remember in like
Speaker 1: one of the yearbooks it said Matthew and then quotes
Speaker 1: Pete Creeden because most people know him as Pete. Nobody
Speaker 1: ever called them fucking Matthew, and really most of us
Speaker 1: called Creed because his last name so Creed. At one point,
Speaker 1: we're six years old and we'd gone to kindergarten together
Speaker 1: and then on the on the playground first grade, Uh,
Speaker 1: Pete Creeden goes, somebody did something? Fuck and so was
Speaker 1: that what? He goes? Fuck? You know what that is?
Speaker 1: I said no, and he goes, well, I can't tell you.
Speaker 1: And then you know, the bell rank and we all
Speaker 1: went into first grade. Wow, And I say to missus
Speaker 1: Beady ms Beatty, what as fuck? Miss I get said,
Speaker 1: if you say again, I'm gonna kick you in the shins.
Speaker 1: The next question obviously was like miss Beatty, what are shins?
Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck they were I don't
Speaker 1: know what she was talking about, nor why I was
Speaker 1: getting attacked, And my parents never pulled me aside to
Speaker 1: be like miss Beatty called to say that you said
Speaker 1: the F word. We didn't even know. I didn't know
Speaker 1: what the F word was. I don't even know my
Speaker 1: parents knew what the F word was in nineteen seventy six.
Speaker 2: Did she call or she never called?
Speaker 1: Not that I'm aware of tsk momily, but I honestly
Speaker 1: my parents hid nothing.
Speaker 2: Ask and see if she remembers, I will.
Speaker 1: But my parents like, they weren't like, oh, we got
Speaker 1: to keep They would use information against me and shit
Speaker 1: like that. So if they if Miss Beatie would have called,
Speaker 1: they would have been like, what have you been doing
Speaker 1: at we're saying on the playground, Kevin, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what have I been doing? And playing?
Speaker 1: They were like the Gestapo man. They could get information
Speaker 1: at it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: They knew how to play a child because they had
Speaker 1: two before me. So by the time I came along,
Speaker 1: I was like I wouldn't say slow witted, but I
Speaker 1: was a kid. I wasn't as sharp as my brother
Speaker 1: and sister. I wasn't around as long and my parents,
Speaker 1: you know, knew all the tricks, and my brother and
Speaker 1: sister weren't tricky. They weren't like trying to sneak out
Speaker 1: of the house or anything like that. But they had
Speaker 1: figured out shit with my brother and sister, and then
Speaker 1: they had that shit in place when I was born.
Speaker 1: But my brother and sister will tell you Uncle Donald
Speaker 1: and Virginia that by the time I came along, my
Speaker 1: parents just gave up, like all the ship they made
Speaker 1: us do they like they didn't they didn't care when
Speaker 1: it came to you, Like they let you run around
Speaker 1: with scissors, like like it just didn't matter because you
Speaker 1: were the baby.
Speaker 2: Look at you.
Speaker 1: I was primed for. I was primed for preferential treatment,
Speaker 1: gravitated toward the entertainment business because I was.
Speaker 2: Like, clear, I need.
Speaker 1: To be too as my parents have cater to me motherly,
Speaker 1: please bring out the pony. I want to go in
Speaker 1: a circle in the yard.
Speaker 2: In a circle in.
Speaker 3: The yard, mother, pony time.
Speaker 2: That's probably what things.
Speaker 1: I wonder. I mean, I wonder if my brother.
Speaker 2: Bring up your insecurities.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think my brother and sister. There was
Speaker 1: a TV show that was on called The other two
Speaker 1: famous a younger sibling, and I think they felt very
Speaker 1: seen by that show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, did they ever bring up the show to you?
Speaker 1: Yeah? They did when I heard it first, when I
Speaker 1: first started existed. I brought it then and they're like,
Speaker 1: we know.
Speaker 2: That show's funny. They probably were like have you seen
Speaker 2: this show?
Speaker 1: They're like, so true truth. They're dropping truth bombs out.
Speaker 1: This is my life. It's giving me life. We are
Speaker 1: going to And so when I spoke to Momily today
Speaker 1: and grieved with her over Princess, although she's doing well,
Speaker 1: this is fucking crazy. Years ago, your Momily Jennifer sent
Speaker 1: mom a stuffed cat that meowed and moved its head
Speaker 1: and eyes like an animatronic fucking cat. And I remember
Speaker 1: when she sent us like one. It was my mother
Speaker 1: nine and she's the six. She loves cats. I was like, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, okay, look at her now.
Speaker 1: My sister goes like, mom has been using that cat
Speaker 1: to knew what's up to, you know, kind of deal
Speaker 1: with the grieving process. So she puts that cat where
Speaker 1: Princess sat and stuff like that. So when I spoke
Speaker 1: to Momly, I was like, you know, what are you
Speaker 1: doing today? And she's like your sister's taking me to
Speaker 1: a cat cafe and I was like what. I sent
Speaker 1: them the video of the one I went to in Winnipeg.
Speaker 1: And so they're in Orlando right now at a cat
Speaker 1: cafe where they adopt cats. And I was like, you
Speaker 1: can come home with a cat. And Virginia's like no,
Speaker 1: like she were on FaceTime and she leans in and
Speaker 1: she's like no, no, and I'm like, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: And there's definite feelings. Uncle Don has definitely definite feelings
Speaker 1: about mom getting another cat. But Momily has very strong
Speaker 1: feelings about a cat.
Speaker 2: She should get a senior cat.
Speaker 1: She talked about that. She's like, you know there are
Speaker 1: cats where their owners passed away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she should totally get a senior.
Speaker 1: Weren't you adopting cats this weekend?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Well I wasn't.
Speaker 1: Somebody was, yeah, what were you doing? Just love it.
Speaker 2: I was, don't take that one please. There was one
Speaker 2: that named a Wahoo Wah a wah who who I
Speaker 2: was about to adopt. But then I was like no,
Speaker 2: they say.
Speaker 1: You can go to your proper home.
Speaker 2: Just go the other direction. But I volunteered, or I
Speaker 2: didn't really do much, but I I introduced some dogs
Speaker 2: on a stage. I had a best friend's Animal Society event,
Speaker 2: uh super adoption event where they adopted out over the
Speaker 2: course of the weekend, just Saturday and Sunday, close to
Speaker 2: four hundred almost.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was, as I said, a super adoption event.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: And I think it was like three hundred and eighty
Speaker 2: the end, like combined dogs and cats. And I I
Speaker 2: went in being like, I don't think I can come out.
Speaker 1: Of this without a cat. Did you make it out
Speaker 1: with that cat? Yeah? What kind of okay discipline will
Speaker 1: power is that?
Speaker 2: And there with the gun to my don't you get
Speaker 2: a cat?
Speaker 1: And I was like, please when we go down because
Speaker 1: I told Mamaly we're gonna go down first week of
Speaker 1: December for her birthday.
Speaker 5: Should cat?
Speaker 1: You should start doing the research. No talk to Virginia
Speaker 1: because they will have gone to this cafe, which I
Speaker 1: assume is the same kind of set.
Speaker 2: But Uncle don't hate me.
Speaker 1: I don't know that you. Uncle don would never hate you,
Speaker 1: but Uncle down would be like, but a senior cat
Speaker 1: is a good idea.
Speaker 2: A senior cat, I'm not saying, a fucking newborn just
Speaker 2: like here's my new kit, like an eighteen year old
Speaker 2: cat that needs a home.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean maybe not eighteen, because fucking cat's making
Speaker 1: it to like twenty two. Stuff. Stuff. And also if
Speaker 1: you give Mommaly an eighteen year old cat, she's like,
Speaker 1: what does I fucking say about me?
Speaker 2: That's true?
Speaker 1: Like maybe give her a single digit cat?
Speaker 2: Oh single digit?
Speaker 1: Like you know nine? Okay, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: Like where he's the kit the cat is? Or here
Speaker 1: she hears past the kitnish stage. It's chilling, but it's
Speaker 1: not like.
Speaker 3: I don't know who do me? Nomo.
Speaker 4: I was in a rest home, No, Bobby, I was
Speaker 4: at the end of bluff car. It's been a good laugh, Mommy.
Speaker 4: I was come to see what heaven.
Speaker 1: In this version, you're gone.
Speaker 2: I'm dead.
Speaker 3: What the fuck?
Speaker 1: No parent wants to outlive the So he's in moois
Speaker 1: in an old age home thinking back on his life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I lost my mama.
Speaker 2: What the fuck?
Speaker 1: She was ninety three years old as she died, had
Speaker 1: a long life. Yeah, it's like eighty. He's like, it's
Speaker 1: like his Forrest Gump type of movie and ship.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So it's like my mamma No two.
Speaker 4: She told me that that life was like a box
Speaker 4: of cats ship you never know what you gonna get.
Speaker 5: No, that's old, ever that what I ever loved is dad, Dad,
Speaker 5: you hear me?
Speaker 1: He's rather animated.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fuck, he's actually got a lot of energy for
Speaker 2: a ninety to year old.
Speaker 1: He did outlive his owner, as you heard, she died
Speaker 1: and not.
Speaker 3: You do putting this fucker.
Speaker 2: He's got dead because mom, because he's looking back. Oh
Speaker 2: of course, of course.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, this is a grim thought. But which
Speaker 1: way would you rather have it? A world without move
Speaker 1: or a world without you? If you haven't? Question is,
Speaker 1: could you imagine lady death shows up and she's just like,
Speaker 1: I will make a bargain. A world without moo or
Speaker 1: a world without you?
Speaker 2: That's so scary?
Speaker 1: What do you do?
Speaker 2: How old am I?
Speaker 1: Now? Now?
Speaker 2: What the fuck is this hypothetical?
Speaker 1: Because it's death and death is just like you know, Look,
Speaker 1: there's no logic or reason, there's no fairness, fallacy and death.
Speaker 1: It's just death. So it's either you or move. You
Speaker 1: could live a move, could you could see your I'll
Speaker 1: live on or you know you don't like. Honestly, this
Speaker 1: is the choice of every fucking parent. Not a choice,
Speaker 1: but this is every parent. I want to die before
Speaker 1: you die, for sure. Sure, I don't want to live
Speaker 1: in a world where you don't live like I'm I'm
Speaker 1: the way things are supposed to go, the way I'm
Speaker 1: used to the natural order of things. Anything that would
Speaker 1: disrupt that flow would be, you know, horrible. I'm both
Speaker 1: ends traumatic to say the least. So yeah, I hope
Speaker 1: I die and then fucking a century later, you fucking die.
Speaker 1: I hope you don't die ever, but I hope it's
Speaker 1: like that moment from The X Files. An episode of
Speaker 1: The X File is Clive Bruckman's final repose.
Speaker 2: Are you going to cry?
Speaker 1: No? Where he can see how people are going to die.
Speaker 1: And Moulder is known in the character, like it's not
Speaker 1: very big part of the character, but periodically they threw
Speaker 1: out like that he was, yeah, I wouldn't say a
Speaker 1: porn fetish, but he watched a lot of porn Internet porn,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. So you know he's talking to this
Speaker 1: Peter Boyle plays Clive Brookman, and he's like an insurance
Speaker 1: salesman who just happens to have this magical ability to
Speaker 1: tell to know when somebody's going to die. So Moulder
Speaker 1: is just like, well, you know, how am I going
Speaker 1: to die? And it goes, oh, no, I don't play
Speaker 1: that game. I'm not going to tell you he's going,
Speaker 1: but I will say auto eerotica association is a terrible
Speaker 1: way to go. And he's like, what, what why he's
Speaker 1: telling me that. So later on Scully, who's the other
Speaker 1: main character in the show, hence our two dogs, Moulder
Speaker 1: and Scully of course, is talking to him, and you know,
Speaker 1: he's saying all these things, and she's the very scientific one,
Speaker 1: very you know, there's an explanation for everything, and Molder
Speaker 1: is the very likely there's the truth is out there.
Speaker 2: He believes in our dog. Our dog was like, the
Speaker 2: truth is out there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But if I Smolder, though, Scully would seem like
Speaker 1: the conspiracy theorist. Really maybe not well, she certainly wasn't
Speaker 1: Dana Scully. Danas Cully was a woman of letters, like
Speaker 1: fucking FBI. Look, I love Scully, but she was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, so would be like, the truth is
Speaker 1: out there. Go good. She's right here that I'm living
Speaker 1: with a fucking idioto big ol' heart, million dollar heart
Speaker 1: nickel fucking head on that dog. But in any event,
Speaker 1: Clive Bruckman is talking to Danascully, agent Danis Cully, and
Speaker 1: you know, she's like, this can't be true, and blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. She's being the skeptic she always it. And
Speaker 1: then she's gonna leave that he goes, she goes, then
Speaker 1: how do you die? And he goes, I die with
Speaker 1: a smile on my face and you're in bed with me.
Speaker 1: And she's like, you know, there are misses, mister Bruckman,
Speaker 1: and there are misses, and she's going, that is an
Speaker 1: absolute miss She's getting up to leave, and then she
Speaker 1: stops and she's like okay, because he's like, don't you
Speaker 1: want to know how you died? She's like no. Then
Speaker 1: finally she's like, okay, how do I die? It's like
Speaker 1: one of my favorite moments in television history. You don't
Speaker 1: oh ship and they.
Speaker 2: Never fucking I knew you were going to cry? Cry?
Speaker 2: He's crying?
Speaker 1: What A like magical?
Speaker 2: I know exactly when you're gonna cry. I know when
Speaker 2: you're gonna cry, and I knew you were going to cry.
Speaker 1: I didn't break, but it is very is powerful. You
Speaker 1: don't and they never explained it. Like then after the
Speaker 1: show ended one day and it's like but in your mind,
Speaker 1: you're like, so what is it? Was she just taken
Speaker 1: away by aliens? Like how does she not?
Speaker 2: What a mystery? What a beautiful mystery.
Speaker 1: Such a fucking cool notion? And then ps well, ps
Speaker 1: he the ca this is spoilers. Clide Bruckman like can't
Speaker 1: take it anymore, and he asphyxiates himself, puts a plastic
Speaker 1: bag over his heads, takes sleeping pills, and dies and
Speaker 1: Scully finds and she is in bed with them, and
Speaker 1: she does have tears running down her face because he says,
Speaker 1: he's like, you're in bed with me, and you're looking
Speaker 1: at me with like loving eyes and her tears rolling
Speaker 1: down your face and you're thankful or something. And she's like, mister,
Speaker 1: there misses, and there missus. And then that's exactly what happens.
Speaker 1: It's just in a different context. It wasn't in her head.
Speaker 1: She was like, I'm not gonna fuck this guy. He's like,
Speaker 1: oh no, that was what I was saying. He's like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be in bed and you're going to be
Speaker 1: staring at me with the most loving, compassionate face with
Speaker 1: tears rolling in and and gratitude or something like that.
Speaker 1: It's a fantastic fucking episode of really really powerful that
Speaker 1: being said, Uh yeah, hands down, I go so so so,
Speaker 1: Lady Death comes to you. I did. Lady Death comes
Speaker 1: to you, and she's like a world without you or
Speaker 1: a world without mood.
Speaker 3: You gotta pick one.
Speaker 1: And you're' this is it. You know, you've always been like,
Speaker 1: cats are my kids, So you got to play this.
Speaker 2: Well, what if somebody's like, I've heard what you said
Speaker 2: on your podcast. Do you want to die or do
Speaker 2: you want mood to die?
Speaker 1: This is but again, this is a very you know.
Speaker 1: This is the only way this works is if the
Speaker 1: human personification of death itself Lady Death, Lady Death, We're
Speaker 1: to show up and make this often. This is what
Speaker 1: we call hypothetical. Kids. So if you're in the audience,
Speaker 1: if you're one of these sixty seven listeners more.
Speaker 2: On Spotify as.
Speaker 1: Well, and you're like, perhaps this is much Ryan's No,
Speaker 1: this is hypothetical, like all fucking hypotheticals. But you gotta
Speaker 1: make a choice.
Speaker 2: I don't want to make a joy.
Speaker 1: The world without you or the world without move.
Speaker 3: Why are you thinking so hard?
Speaker 2: Make the right fucking choice.
Speaker 3: Okay, believe you even think of Laura and your time
Speaker 3: Moves time, I will this move.
Speaker 1: Right now, four okay, and you're twenty five, gonna be
Speaker 1: twenty six, I.
Speaker 2: Mean it, I'll be twenty six like a year.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but I'm saying last quarter century and Moves
Speaker 1: only had four years. So what's your choice?
Speaker 2: What he's going to take care of Move?
Speaker 1: If you go, that's not your you know, all human
Speaker 1: worries go away.
Speaker 2: I mean, when I adopted a cat.
Speaker 1: I presumably presumably presumably Austin would continue taking care of Move.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, presumably I would outlive Move in
Speaker 2: the real world.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but this is that. But this is why it's
Speaker 1: such a like fucking lady death is giving can live?
Speaker 1: Move's gonna live. You choose Move's life over your life.
Speaker 2: I know, I feel like an ass.
Speaker 1: You choose Move, that's your choice, Lady death.
Speaker 2: Why do I say it? Lady death? To come?
Speaker 1: All right, So you've made your choice that you go
Speaker 1: and Move gets to stay. And like you know, every.
Speaker 2: Parent understand that, do I just die?
Speaker 1: There you go to? Yeah, there is a place. It's
Speaker 1: not like heaven or hell, but it's a place where
Speaker 1: all mysteries are solved, and you become a cosmic part
Speaker 1: of the universe, one with all things that energy resonates around.
Speaker 1: And okay, nice, yes, but that means you're also cognizant
Speaker 1: of what happens in your absence until you get to
Speaker 1: see life go on without you. No, but not in
Speaker 1: a way where you're competitive, because once you die, you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, who gives a shit?
Speaker 2: What if Austin moves on?
Speaker 1: You're beyond feelings about those things. There are no.
Speaker 2: Jealousies, even worse, Moon moves.
Speaker 1: On, where it's like, moment, shit, I take it back.
Speaker 1: I was going with it was like, Moo only lives
Speaker 1: another two years? What the fuck? Always humans have potential
Speaker 1: live one hundred. Make the choice for you. But let's
Speaker 1: go in that direction where you do this sacrifice, this
Speaker 1: great second and then the Lady Death is like, let
Speaker 1: me take you to one year from now. It takes
Speaker 1: you to one year in the future.
Speaker 2: Ship something. Yeah, I was communicated, I got it. You
Speaker 2: did it well.
Speaker 1: I'm on a sled going down a hill.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: So she takes you one year into the future. Moo's moved,
Speaker 1: Moo is cuddled up with like think I gotta oh
Speaker 1: moo is cuddled up on the lap of Sydney. Sweet.
Speaker 2: I know you're going to say.
Speaker 1: That for some reason, you're Lex Luthor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for some reason.
Speaker 1: She's like, I've taken all the jabs, and I've taken
Speaker 1: your cat.
Speaker 2: You've already taken all the jobs.
Speaker 3: Oh now, Mommy, I love you.
Speaker 4: I loves you.
Speaker 3: In that movie we just saw, you played a lady boxer.
Speaker 1: But and somebody, uh, you know, delivers the mail and
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, it's uh the it's the semetary. We
Speaker 1: have to pay for the plot for your mom.
Speaker 3: This is my momb what the fuck?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, what the hell?
Speaker 1: And Lady Death is like next time Jesus Wisely, they're like,
Speaker 1: you're acting more like Mafista than Lady Death.
Speaker 3: Like that's what fucking it is me, Fiesta a deal
Speaker 3: with the devil you have made God?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fucking I hate the hypothetical.
Speaker 1: Vague memories of a distant mumur.
Speaker 2: Stop I fucking sacrifice.
Speaker 1: I know that you can spectrate chat like you piece
Speaker 1: of ship. I gave my life for you when I
Speaker 1: was only twenty five. I don't know what I was
Speaker 1: fucking thinking. My father guilds me into it. Lady Death
Speaker 1: laid it out there. I was really worried about what
Speaker 1: people would say on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Was really making it seem like I had no choice.
Speaker 3: Bull shit, I tell your whole life.
Speaker 2: Like I was going to be a bad person if
Speaker 2: I chose me.
Speaker 1: If it comes down to you or cat, it's always you.
Speaker 1: You have told me that my whole life unless that
Speaker 1: cat is like the Jesus Christ of cats.
Speaker 2: In my eyes is.
Speaker 1: God, Yeah, because he's seen You're like Mary, the Mother
Speaker 1: of God.
Speaker 4: Mommy, you will be venerated in all the world.
Speaker 1: The worship you because they could only worship God, but
Speaker 1: they could the Mother of Goldy and you. Every Marian
Speaker 1: holiday in the Catholic Church because there's a lot of
Speaker 1: Mary centric ship. I went to a school and church
Speaker 1: called Our Lady of Perpetual Health. Everything is like Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary.
Speaker 1: And she's not a saint like it ain't You've never
Speaker 1: heard there is a saint Mary or Mary, but it
Speaker 1: ain't married. She's so beatified that she doesn't get the
Speaker 1: honor of saint. She's just flat out Mary, which is
Speaker 1: equivalent to like the Big two God, Jesus fucking you
Speaker 1: raised above all others you who are are nearly sainted.
Speaker 1: It's just crazy. When I was a kid, I was like,
Speaker 1: why don't we call her Saint Mary? And because it
Speaker 1: was Catholic school, that be like what you fucking blasphemer?
Speaker 1: Why would you ever do something like plus yeah, but
Speaker 1: I was trying to understand what the big deal was.
Speaker 1: But I mean, I get it, like she's the Mother
Speaker 1: of God, but then why not give her that saint
Speaker 1: Like Jesus's dad is Saint Joseph. He ain't just Joseph,
Speaker 1: it is Saint Joseph.
Speaker 2: Really, like, thank God.
Speaker 1: She ain't Saint Mary, bro she just married just like
Speaker 1: Shaer Madonna, Lady go got Lady got got two names
Speaker 1: one no, no, Mary Comma mother of God, which is
Speaker 1: more than you know enough of his last name. That
Speaker 1: don't get you in any club right there. But they
Speaker 1: never But that's the thing in Catholic school and in
Speaker 1: Catholic Church, they taught us, like, you know, because we
Speaker 1: were like, we worship Mary, right, and they're like, no,
Speaker 1: you worship God, you worship Jesus in the Holy Spirit
Speaker 1: of the Blessed Trinity. But you venerate Mary.
Speaker 2: What does that word mean?
Speaker 1: Let's look it up. Essentially, it means, well, the way
Speaker 1: I understand it, it means like.
Speaker 2: You don't you're really providing me with a new vocabulary today.
Speaker 1: I'm giving you all the Catholic shit they forced on
Speaker 1: me as a child. Venerate to regard with reverential respect
Speaker 1: or with admiring deference, to honor an icon, a relic,
Speaker 1: with a ritual act of devotion. So you can venerate it.
Speaker 1: But but that doesn't mean it is here. Is venerate
Speaker 1: the same as worship. Veneration is similar to worship, but
Speaker 1: the two words have some differences. Both veneration and worship
Speaker 1: means to honor and admire someone or something with profound respect. However,
Speaker 1: worship usually implies that it is expressed through words or ceremony.
Speaker 1: So you can really like, here, you fucking think you
Speaker 1: love move right now? You just venerate move. But if
Speaker 1: you ever want to worship move, you have to build
Speaker 1: a little altar like candles, put moo on it, and
Speaker 1: be like.
Speaker 4: Oh, channel and the spir of the universe.
Speaker 2: Last week you read the definition of a potato, and
Speaker 2: this week.
Speaker 3: Tak a leap forward.
Speaker 1: You know, a word of the word of the day
Speaker 1: is venerate.
Speaker 2: Last week potatoto.
Speaker 3: That's that's not a word of the day as it is.
Speaker 1: Potato is a word potato, And it's also a tuber
Speaker 1: learn anything.
Speaker 3: That's the whole reason we looked it up. God damn it.
Speaker 3: Education it goes a long way. Well, it's a tuber.
Speaker 1: I have no fucking idea. I don't do you have
Speaker 1: a passionate rationalist.
Speaker 2: I could.
Speaker 1: Off the top of your head. Yeah sure, I mean
Speaker 1: maybe maybe our hook should be word of the day.
Speaker 2: Yeah no, I'm thinking a word of the day, and.
Speaker 1: Then every episode could be named after the word of
Speaker 1: the day.
Speaker 2: Well would you look at that last week potato? This one?
Speaker 1: Yes, And you know what people will say. They'll be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's like the chapter headings and clerks
Speaker 1: is a random vocabulary word. And I'll be like, well,
Speaker 1: that's the point. And when I don't say anything like
Speaker 1: him so clever, I'll be like, I don't take a freebie. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go. There's a better fucking hook. All right,
Speaker 1: Well that'll be our thing. Smarts like you get you
Speaker 1: come here, are jiggling shit and you learn what a
Speaker 1: potato is for once?
Speaker 2: Really, what else could you ask for?
Speaker 1: It's not as beardless stickless me. Do you uh we are?
Speaker 1: This is episode nineteen. Next episode will be episode twenty.
Speaker 1: I believe we may have surpassed the vegan Aptowa record.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm wrong.
Speaker 2: This nineteen was vegan abbatoirs last last one.
Speaker 1: So when we get to twenty of beardless stickless me, Wow,
Speaker 1: You and I have a real habit of picking the
Speaker 1: worst names for podcasts. Vegan abatoir, ain't nobody looking.
Speaker 2: For that meacan Avatar was a dope name.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like, fucking try spelling.
Speaker 2: It well that you got a point, And.
Speaker 1: You're also leading your podcast with a term that like
Speaker 1: three quarters of the world like, eh. It makes them
Speaker 1: instantly like get angry, a hostile.
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's some people in the world that are.
Speaker 1: Like beardless No, but I believe me. I bet you
Speaker 1: there are people in the world that are like dickless.
Speaker 1: Why would you put that?
Speaker 2: Well, we can give you the definition of a potato,
Speaker 2: so go fuck yourself.
Speaker 1: That's true. Here's where you learn the definition of potato.
Speaker 1: Title don't matter. If it did, we could call it
Speaker 1: something else. Well, we should call it boboe. But people
Speaker 1: will be like, why is your podcast called mummy? Like, no, man,
Speaker 1: not like universal monsters. They're like, okay, so you got
Speaker 1: to say it out loud to get it right.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's my fucking cats. It's my cat.
Speaker 1: They're like, you know what, you got to subscribe to
Speaker 1: the fucking Sir Ridley Scott School filmmaking. I've read an
Speaker 1: article recently. I really that's not true. I read the
Speaker 1: headline of the article.
Speaker 2: I like the truth.
Speaker 1: Where he goes it's about the Ridley School production like
Speaker 1: he produces movies and stuff, and in quotes it said,
Speaker 1: tell it to me in two sentences. That's how you
Speaker 1: get Oh, it's an old school kind of like break
Speaker 1: it down in two It's like a pitchy kind of thing.
Speaker 1: But he, I guess still works from that model of
Speaker 1: like gotta be able to tell it to me in
Speaker 1: two sentences. Otherwise that's interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1: I mean it's it's a it's a guide of sorts.
Speaker 1: I ain't saying I'm smarter than Sir Ridley Scott. He
Speaker 1: obviously knows what he's doing.
Speaker 2: I got a piece, got a future, so we gotta
Speaker 2: rob it off.
Speaker 1: I thought we were just gonna watch as you were, Like,
Speaker 1: I got a peek.
Speaker 2: Respectfully.
Speaker 1: Yes, done and done. I gotta go, Mommy, you're full
Speaker 1: bitter is depending on my.
Speaker 2: Show, he has to. That's my other cat.
Speaker 1: That's the other cat.
Speaker 2: What the fuck?
Speaker 1: Although I will say people seem to like the funny
Speaker 1: animal voices you do, especially Mammily is just like she
Speaker 1: does that.
Speaker 2: My grandpa steepy love that. Wait, you gotta my grandpa?
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, sorry, sorry, Carl's.
Speaker 1: Graham apologizing Mamaly right now, who's just like, fuck Grandpa.
Speaker 2: Carl's grandpa, my dad.
Speaker 3: She's like my lost princess. Now you're telling me fuck grandpa.
Speaker 3: Fuck you, Harley Quinn Kevin Smith.
Speaker 1: Like when she makes the voices and she picks on you.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have to go there it is.
Speaker 1: There's a beardless, stickless me for this week. If you
Speaker 1: want to see what the show looks like, go to
Speaker 1: that Kevin Smith dot com. And if you want to
Speaker 1: see me in person, go to see spot dot com.
Speaker 1: I'm going a lot of places lately, I know. And
Speaker 1: if you want to see us do this live, I say,
Speaker 1: I say, I say, first quarter of next year.
Speaker 2: What's that Radio City music?
Speaker 1: All right? Man, it's gonna be like big finish.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you got you have to join like
Speaker 2: Kevin Smith Club.
Speaker 1: People are like, why did I join? That was terrible?
Speaker 1: They were like, it sounded a lot funnier. Hey, come on,
Speaker 1: I do put it on a very funny face. There
Speaker 1: it is. Kids, there's your beardless dickless me for this week.
Speaker 1: For beardless stickles me. I'm the one that took care
Speaker 1: of going to the bathroom before the show began.
Speaker 2: I drink a whole.
Speaker 1: For beardless with me. I'm Kevin Smith.
Speaker 3: I have a beardless dickless day.
Speaker 2: Go pee bye.
Speaker 6: This has been a podcast production, some podcast podcast using
Speaker 6: our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey, kids,
Speaker 6: did you like what you just heard? Well, guess what.
Speaker 1: We've got tons more, man thousands of hours of podcasts
Speaker 1: waiting for you at that Kevinsmith club dot com. Go
Speaker 1: sign up now.