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This file was generated by Descript 

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Welcome

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to the Resilient Schools Podcast.

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We are here at the SDAC Bridging to
Resilience we have here Jessica Taylor.

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Jessica, welcome to Resilient Schools.

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Appreciate

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Hello.

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Thank you for having me.

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Hello.

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Thank you.

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Thank you for

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having me.

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Oh, I'm excited because I was out
here getting set up and then this

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woman comes and does a zoom call or
something right next to my table.

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which gave me a great opportunity
to test the background

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noise, so thank you for that.

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and, what I saw when you were doing that
was this love and, great admiration you

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have for the people that you work with.

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So tell us a little bit
about that Zoom call first.

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when you talk.

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Yes, so, I am the Trauma Informed
Specialist at an alternative

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school in Nashville, Tennessee.

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and every morning we do
morning announcements.

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at 8.

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45.

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Today is actually my birthday.

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Happy birthday!

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Yay!

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it's been a big deal for the
students because they really

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wanted to celebrate me.

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So they called me into the, meeting.

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so they could all tell me happy birthday.

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But then they wanted to get on camera so
I could actually still see their faces.

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being gone from them is very
difficult, because I'm the first

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person they see in the morning.

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when they're doing check
ins in the morning, it's me.

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So, not only is it valuable for them,
it is also very valuable for me.

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So, not only So, you do check
ins with them every day?

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Every day.

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And, what do you do in your check ins?

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I

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mean, a lot of it is, just that simple
relationship of hey, good morning.

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So glad to see you.

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if it's on a Monday, you know,
did you have a good weekend?

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what did you do?

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once we've built that relationship,
they'll say, I'm gonna need a

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minute with you before I go up.

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Cool.

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Great.

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And they typically have a seat because
they know that I have to finish

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with the regular morning check in.

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sometimes it's them telling me about
what they did at work last night.

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Sometimes it's telling me
a new game that they found.

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and then sometimes it's just
that chat of, how's it going?

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said that, uh, was They know I
need to get through the rest of the

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check in, so they go have a seat.

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And this is something that we,
especially when we're dealing with trauma

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situations, we think everything is urgent.

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And the reality is, it's not all urgent.

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But it often feels like it's urgent.

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So, what did you have to do to help
them see that there's a time and a

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place, and that time and place does not
necessarily have to be right this second?

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have to be right this second?

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is kind of that co teaching, too.

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and because of that trust,
they may be anxious, waiting.

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I always follow through.

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So it's really just trust building.

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Um, and a lot of times, too,
I get to know the students.

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I know how they react
to certain situations.

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So for some, they will sit
in the cafeteria because they

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can still physically see me.

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So they know I'm not going anywhere.

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They know that I'm right there.

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others are okay with...

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Okay, well I'm going to be in Dr.

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Brewer's class.

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Just come get me.

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Okay, great.

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But it's knowing each
child for who they are.

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And that I think is so key because If you
know who each individual is, then you know

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what they need, how to respond to them.

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Now, the other part of this is
that you're gone at a conference in

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another state, so it is a big deal.

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And is this the first time you've done
that, or have you done this before?

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right.

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When

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Mm-Hmm.

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. So I may have

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Six months, I may have you for a year,
and depending on what has happened,

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I may only have you for three months.

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but with that being said, it's
also like a carousel of students.

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but once they're there, and one
thing that I always tell them, we

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do an orientation process, so they
know what our expectations are, what

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we call the wellness zone staff.

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I always tell them that 9 out of 10
times you will never hear me call you

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my students, you're always my kids.

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and once you're with me, you're
with me whether you're back at

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your home school or you're here.

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So, it is very much like
leaving my own child

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at home.

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Okay.

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And so that idea of being able to
step away, take care of your own

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professional learning, that kind of stuff.

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a conference like this is incredibly
powerful because you're networking

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with people, you're learning new
things, and you're developing skills

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and other things during that time.

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but it's still hard
for people to get away.

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What would you say has been your
experience at this conference so far?

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Why was it worthwhile for people to come?

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So in Nashville they have been a little
quote unquote kind of ahead of the game

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on the whole trauma informed practices.

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That isn't necessarily
a nationwide thing yet.

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So I went to a conference two years
ago in Arizona and then even this

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one to see the difference at how far
as a whole we've become is amazing.

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To continue to hear like the stories like
listening to Stacey Nation this morning

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some of it is, okay, I am doing this
right, I've got this, but also there's

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still consistently, things to learn.

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I've got this, way.

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about

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so one of the validation pieces I got
from Stacey this morning was, I've

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always let kids sleep in my class,
and never had a problem with it.

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And what she said today was,
kids sleep when they feel safe.

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And I was like, yeah, that is very true.

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And so, maybe it's not such a big deal
that somebody's sleeping in my class.

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And, I always said, similar to that,
that the kid obviously needs sleep.

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otherwise they wouldn't
actually be asleep, you know,

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so why not just let them?

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what's the big deal?

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so what are some of the, validating
things that you've heard, so far?

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so a lot of times that co regulation
and that tapping, just kind of

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that stretching, what do they
need, what is underneath, yes they

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have this behavior maybe, but.

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Okay, well they're going
through X, Y, and Z.

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I also just left with, I can't
remember her name, but the behaviors.

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sometimes when they're upset,
they just need you to be there.

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You don't have to speak to them.

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You don't have to talk to them.

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It's just that presence of being
there, with that co regulation.

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And I think a lot of times...

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What I really work with my teachers
on, and really even some of the admin,

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is the coagulation piece, you don't
have to just put them in a room, or

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leave them alone, just be present with

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admin, is the co interrelation is a
lot different than lecturing, it's

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a lot different than coaching or
teaching, and it's a lot different than

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doing something else, right?

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And so, sometimes the...

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Presence of being there is enough.

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Sometimes they need you to just sit
there and not do anything with them.

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sometimes those are hard decisions to
make of what, like, do you really need

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me or should I be actually working?

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are you at the point where you're having
those conversations with kids and saying

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what do you need from me right now?

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And what does that look like?

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I do actually have one particular student
every day during lunch she comes to my

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room and When she first came she hated
my room because there was too much

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positivity in the room, she told me.

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Um, she was like, it's
gonna rub off on me.

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And I was like, it's okay.

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I always say, alright, look, you
can talk, you don't have to talk.

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where are we at?

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do you want me to sit here?

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Do you want me to, ask them,
like, what do you want?

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So now when she comes into the room.

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She lets me know, okay, I need you at your
desk or I want you on the rocking chair.

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and we just go from there.

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So really, I think too, like just teaching
them the skills of that self advocating

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about what you need and then truly
listening to what they're saying they

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Yeah, yeah.

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that's powerful.

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So, what advice would you have for
someone who is interested in this

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kind of stuff and, Maybe doesn't know
exactly where to start, or maybe has

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been given an assignment or a role
but doesn't know exactly what to do.

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How do you suggest people learn new
things, about this kind of work?

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one, it's...

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Find your people, find someone, rather
that kind of doing research on the

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internet and looking at different, like
Bruce Perry, or whoever it might be,

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looking up different things, well then
finding those people within your school

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system, or within your community, um,
and reach out to them, ask for help, we

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don't know what we don't know, um, and
especially in the world of trauma and

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behavior, It's consistently revolving.

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We all like to think we know
the answer and what's going on,

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but we don't and that's okay.

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And I think that reassurance
of hey, there's gonna be days

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that like you probably mess up,
but we all have and it's okay.

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But the biggest takeaway in that too
is when you're working with these kids

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if

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you mess up, be like, you own up to
it, be like, I did not handle that

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well, and I'm real sorry, like,
what could we maybe do better?

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Um, so again, it's just kind
of, don't force a relationship

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on anybody, just be you.

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it's okay, and everybody's
gonna be different.

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Um, you may have the same exact job title.

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But each individual is different, just
like each individual kid is different.

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Yeah, and I, I think that
piece is so important because

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you really have to be you.

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Because when you're not you,
you come across as inauthentic.

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And so when you're trying to do something
the way Stacey Nation does it, or Jim

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Sporlier does it, or whoever else you
admire, if you're trying to do things like

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they would, it's, it's not gonna work.

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And you have to do things
like you would do it.

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And so, that also can be difficult
because you don't know what the

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quote unquote right thing to do is.

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And so, you just do the best you can with
what you got, and you just move forward.

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What, what's your advice to
someone who's, who's feeling that?

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Like, I don't know if this
is the right thing or not.

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I think it's at the end of the day when
you're, when you're driving home, look at.

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What's one thing, like, a
positive takeaway that you took?

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Is that something that is
going to continue to drive you?

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Or do you really have to struggle to find?

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a positive take away.

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And if you do, it's okay.

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Just, we all have an idea of like
what the job might be or what we

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think it is or what we're supposed
to do, but if it ends up not being

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what's best for you, that's okay.

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Just like it's okay to make a mistake.

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It's okay if you realize
this is too much for me.

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It's too emotional for me.

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It's too, and I think there does
come maturity in the fact of Then

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kind of realizing, alright, this,
here's what I like about this,

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so what else can I maybe find?

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Then kind of you're doing at your
school that you're really proud of?

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Where you're like, this is amazing,
everybody needs to know about it.

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proud of?

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Okay, I did not realize this was
going to be such a big deal last year.

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So, because they all have social media,
they all snap, they all do the thing.

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Well, last Christmas.

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So we typically start to have kind of like
kids that go back at the end of December

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before the second semester but then
we also Because the last week is exam.

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So it's only half days for all my high
schoolers So each day we did a different

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like we did a hot chocolate bar We did I
did a photo booth Christmassing, but with

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that I took selfies with all of them Some
of them hated it some of them whatever

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but I printed out Two so one went onto
my wall and then I handed them one When

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they left, and now I've got a new, like,
they're still on the wall, so then now

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any time that you leave, like, if you're
going back to your homeschool, you always

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get a selfie with Miss T, um, because it's
gonna go on the wall, so much so that,

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one, the kids that left last year were
very concerned that their photo was gonna

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be taken down, um, so we've developed
a plan on where it should go, but I

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think, It's, because I do have an, like,

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Thursday, last Thursday, so I do
also go out to the JDC, the Juvenile

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Detention Center, so if any of my
students go, or whatever, I actually

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can go out there just to do a check in.

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I'm not here to tell you, like, you
shouldn't have done X, Y, and Z,

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um, but it's just a, hey, I'm here.

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It was a former student, I got to
see him, and the first thing he said

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was, Do you have that other picture
that we took at the end of the year?

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And I was like, yeah, I was like,
I have the one from Christmas too.

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And he goes, no, I have that one.

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It's on my dresser, but
I need one for my wallet.

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And he says, because you said before
Christmas break, he goes, you said, okay,

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if we think about doing something that
we shouldn't do, look at the picture

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and be like, what would miss Taylor

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Oh, man

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And he goes, I think I
need one of my wallet now.

00:13:00.022 --> 00:13:01.392
Cause I might not be here.

00:13:01.772 --> 00:13:04.892
So it's the, it's all the
different connections.

00:13:04.892 --> 00:13:05.742
And this is a kid who.

00:13:06.067 --> 00:13:07.137
didn't speak a whole lot.

00:13:07.167 --> 00:13:09.417
Like, I mean, we fist bumped.

00:13:10.437 --> 00:13:13.627
He would check in with me
when it was really bad.

00:13:14.087 --> 00:13:17.037
But when he was like, Oh
no, I have that photo.

00:13:17.037 --> 00:13:17.977
It's on my dresser.

00:13:18.567 --> 00:13:21.877
It was just like, let me
try not to cry right now.

00:13:22.397 --> 00:13:23.527
So it's, it's the photos.

00:13:23.527 --> 00:13:25.257
It's just that personal piece.

00:13:25.277 --> 00:13:29.569
And I think the fact that not only do
I have it hanging, I give them a copy

00:13:29.664 --> 00:13:30.064
Yeah.

00:13:30.064 --> 00:13:30.854
And smartphones

00:13:34.964 --> 00:13:38.264
are amazing, computers are amazing,
but the problem is that it's all

00:13:38.264 --> 00:13:39.714
just a big sheet of glass, right?

00:13:40.064 --> 00:13:43.124
And so, it's the same no matter what.

00:13:43.204 --> 00:13:46.804
It's just a piece of glass and
it's not like a physical thing

00:13:47.054 --> 00:13:50.594
that's sitting there that you can
say, like, this book for example.

00:13:50.794 --> 00:13:52.734
Like, this is a physical thing.

00:13:52.954 --> 00:13:56.134
I can I can look at it and I
can hold it and I can feel it.

00:13:56.194 --> 00:13:59.044
And when it's a picture of you and
someone that you know cares about you,

00:13:59.344 --> 00:14:00.454
then that's a little bit different.

00:14:00.914 --> 00:14:04.054
One of the things that I do to
stay connected to my kids when

00:14:04.054 --> 00:14:08.024
I travel is I write them each
a postcard every single day.

00:14:08.394 --> 00:14:10.464
And I send it to them
from wherever I'm at.

00:14:10.834 --> 00:14:13.514
And, and so this is a very little thing.

00:14:14.054 --> 00:14:15.504
And they don't ever say thank you.

00:14:15.714 --> 00:14:16.264
I don't care.

00:14:16.484 --> 00:14:17.284
They don't need to.

00:14:17.724 --> 00:14:19.444
But I know that they get it.

00:14:19.544 --> 00:14:21.304
Getting mail always feels good.

00:14:21.574 --> 00:14:22.514
getting something physical.

00:14:22.534 --> 00:14:27.704
I can text them, I can FaceTime them,
but when I actually like give them a

00:14:27.704 --> 00:14:32.324
card that, that sent to them in the
mail, it has a different feeling, a

00:14:32.324 --> 00:14:36.074
different experience, and that's the
kind of thing that I'm going for.

00:14:36.074 --> 00:14:37.734
So, I love that idea.

00:14:37.754 --> 00:14:39.544
I think that's incredibly powerful.

00:14:39.916 --> 00:14:40.226
Good.

00:14:40.246 --> 00:14:42.276
Uh, anything else that you
feel like we should talk about?

00:14:43.355 --> 00:14:46.435
I don't think, and I guess to kind
of, well I do want to go back quickly

00:14:46.565 --> 00:14:49.185
to how we kind of even first met.

00:14:49.455 --> 00:14:52.685
You forget, like, they've also
had to do a reminder every day

00:14:52.745 --> 00:14:54.025
on the morning announcements.

00:14:54.825 --> 00:14:55.175
Hey, Ms.

00:14:55.175 --> 00:14:56.555
Taylor's not here, so don't look for her.

00:14:56.565 --> 00:14:57.765
Like, remember, she's not there.

00:14:58.257 --> 00:15:01.897
but I think it's just like
it's just as important to them.

00:15:01.967 --> 00:15:03.117
It's just as important to me.

00:15:04.037 --> 00:15:04.287
just

00:15:04.287 --> 00:15:07.497
like the one kid who was like, No,
I need, like, hold on, like, Mr.

00:15:07.497 --> 00:15:09.877
Motorswap, turn on the camera,
like, I need her to see me.

00:15:10.127 --> 00:15:14.847
Like, and just to be able to have that
physical, even face to face for a second.

00:15:15.357 --> 00:15:20.237
So they know that I'm okay, even
if I'm in a far, far away, in

00:15:20.237 --> 00:15:21.798
a different state, to see that.

00:15:22.058 --> 00:15:24.578
Yeah, but that's what
real connection is like.

00:15:24.588 --> 00:15:25.708
You want to...

00:15:26.163 --> 00:15:30.193
See and be seen as well and and
that's how you know that it's a real

00:15:30.193 --> 00:15:34.303
connection is that you both want that
and and I think that's really powerful.

00:15:34.493 --> 00:15:35.663
Okay, this has been awesome.

00:15:35.683 --> 00:15:35.963
Thank

00:15:35.978 --> 00:15:36.038
you.

00:15:36.038 --> 00:15:36.738
Yes, thank you.

00:15:37.383 --> 00:15:39.133
we may need to chat again in the future.

00:15:39.163 --> 00:15:41.033
So this doesn't have to be the last time.

00:15:41.218 --> 00:15:41.668
Perfect.