well
hello all you beautiful people
you know what time it is
[Music]
ladies and gents
guys and dolls and everyone in between
gather round
get you something real nice to sip on
and comfy to slip on
because it's time
for smut club
here's your hosts chelsea and hannah
hey everybody and welcome to smut club
hi friends we're glad you're here hi
smut pups [ __ ] pups smut [ __ ]
whatever title you want
that you want to give yourself however
you choose to identify however you
choose to identify your welcome here
we're glad you're here let's hang
i'm hannah i'm chelsea let's talk about
some smut that we've read lately let's
do it so today chelsea is doing a
standalone i am um well so
right now it's a standalone because the
second book hasn't dropped yet so it's
not actually a standalone it's a duet
it might be more than that i'm curious
to see the scenes the author's journey
well so all right it's where today we're
reviewing pretty secrets by ian moore um
the only books that i've seen that
iamore has dropped on goodreads thus far
are
this book pretty secrets and the prequel
hush hush
um i've read both enjoyed them both
definitely want to know where this
series is gonna take us
so
this book
we're doing some reverse harem today
into that felt like we hadn't had a good
reverse harem in a smidge so
i wanted to make sure we kept our
options relevant and open you know
this book follows eden astor she goes by
edie throughout the book okay and in the
prologue where we open up
edie's older sister like a year older
than her delilah who went by d
died
so is this a fantasy no okay
this is like
reverse harem
kind of like dark academia secret
society
like a like a mafia bent why don't i
just review it and you'll find out
there's no mafia there's just a secret
society just let me guess
that's like
when we reviewed that when i got drunk
and saved the demon and you kept like
and i kept like guessing and you're like
well get there chelsea damn
i just inquiring minds and right you're
spoiled you're excited my favorite is
that i like i'm like so where the book
opens in the prologue is the sister is
dead and you're like okay i have a lot
of questions i'm like we're still in the
prologue girl
inquiring minds and sharing minds so
prologue
we're at dee's funeral edie is vowing
that she's going to avenge her sister's
death her sister died on devil's night
and
um her sister drowned but edie's like
she wouldn't have been in the water like
my sister didn't know how to swim she
wouldn't have been in the water she
wouldn't have drowned because she never
would have been in the water in the
first place so clearly she was murdered
and i need to eventually there is foul
play afoot yes um her sister had been
pledging essentially like a secret
society
called the knights of arcadia they go by
the knights for short
um okay
what don't tell me your thoughts anna
don't hold back now for some reason all
i could think of was arcade fire
and i was like they're not nice
this entire book is about edie astor
avenging her sister's death
with an arcade fire play soundtrack
in the background yes we love a good
vengeance
story line yeah so all right edie was a
year younger than her older sister and
was kind of like i'm not [ __ ] with
all of like the family
societal expectations of being like of
an affluent family so edie had taken off
and had moved to the west coast was
living in california going to a
different school there surfing just
chilling living her life
when her sister dee dies and she wants
to avenge her death she decides she's
going to move back to the east coast and
enroll at carnegie university which is
the school that her sister had been
attending when she passed away okay
that's like affiliated with the knights
of arcadia so this is like her intention
to investigate her sister's death is the
whole motivation behind this transfer
you get it i got it yes i got it it
reminds me of um
the boys of zodiac have you read that
one i feel like that one pops up on like
a recommended list all the time but i
haven't actually read it yet well that
one's fantasy but it's the same thing
but it's a high school the girl
transfers there because her brother dies
okay and so she's like something's fishy
rivers harem in high school makes me
feel weird
like i'll literally be reading a like a
description of a book i'm like this
sounds so good i can't wait to read it
and i'm like oh wait they're in high
school
a bunch of like 17 year olds [ __ ]
just feels gross i mean like
good for you but i just don't want to
read it well and i think it's been a
while since i read that one but i think
so they're they're faye so their high
school ends at like age 20 or something
so they're actually like 18 or 19 i
think if i'm remembering or i feel like
it's frequently that like the characters
got held back so they're like 19 in high
school and i'm like this doesn't make me
feel better about it but anyway sorry so
the book starts chapter one we're ten
months in the future and this book is
going to shift
points of view
several times every chapter essentially
we're going to switch um we're going to
switch between the dudes we're going to
switch between 80. so we first chapter
we are now following point of view leo
jarvis leonardo jarvis
his grandfather very very high up in the
knights of arcadia um leo had been
there's like different levels so like
you're a pledge and then once you've
kind of like made it through like
the
pledge level
of getting into the nights you become a
fledgling and then after a fledgling you
become like a full-blown knight so all
we know is that like leo had been in
this process and got kicked out at some
point
and how many dudes do we have in this
harem there's gonna be three okay at
least in this one we'll see in the
future if anything shifts okay so yes
this book is ten months in the future
from the funeral where edie decides
she's going to avenge her sister's death
um yeah leo's like super brash his
entire like demeanor is like i don't
give a [ __ ] and like um edie's moving
into jarvis hall and his name is leo
jarvis and so he's like i'll kick out of
like i'll kick everyone out of the
residence hall if they don't [ __ ] me
like i have that clout he's just
gross yeah he's like the black sheep of
his family
um
his grandfather has given him the job of
spying on edie
um to make sure
she's not doing [ __ ] she shouldn't but
he doesn't really know what that means
he's just like my grandpa told me to
like watch her
i guess that's what i'm gonna do and so
he's watching her as she gets to
carnegie
so she gets to school and when she gets
there like
she had been on the west coast and was
kind of outside of the society so she's
like way more like i'm wearing like jean
cutoffs and no makeup and not like super
like
business casual attire as her resting
state i guess
and so like she gets there and she's
already like she's like all right i'm
moving in she's moving into
dee's old dorm room oh yeah so she's
moving into her sister's dorm she's
already like plotting her like [ __ ]
nancy drew skills on how she's gonna
solve this mystery
and then suddenly she runs into her best
friend
prince oliver
um and hold up yes timeout yep no go for
it i was about to explain but i can't
wait for the questions
so is his name prince or is he a prince
he is a prince um
he
has royal
lineage
over in england and she always calls him
number five and like later in the book
someone's like why do you call him
number five and she's like because he
would be fifth in line for the throne
had there not been this scandal where
like he's not
eligible yes okay so he's an actual
prince so his name is oliver his name is
oliver and they're besties they're
besties they've grown up together so how
did she not know that he was there and
she was gonna see him because he's been
in love with her since childhood so how
does that preclude her from knowing he's
gonna be there because he's like oh i'm
also going to show up at the school and
then attend and then protect her and
keep her safe while she is hell-bent on
solving this mystery so this isn't like
a wink-wink star stalker situation
honestly i low-key felt that way a
little bit um like he
she like doesn't know that he was
planning all of us we'll also we're
gonna switch to oliver's point of view
in a second okay okay um so she runs
into oliver all of her is also like oh
yeah i'm i'm also living in this dorm
room and she's like jarvis hall is a
girl's dorm and he's essentially like
i'm royalty [ __ ] i can do whatever the
[ __ ] i want and you're in this building
so i'm in this building there's two of
them yes great
so yes we then switched to oliver's
point of view in perspective oh also
worth noting um we
get d not we d we get edie
into d's dorm and the roommates were all
thinking they were being sweet and they
cleaned up and boxed up all of these
stuff
right exactly so then like
edie's pissed because the room is clean
and she's like now like i'm it's going
to be harder to find clues and
everything from like where it kind of
had been so like she's pissed because
she gets there
and the dorm doormates had like cleaned
the room and thought they were being
helpful but we're not
so yeah we switched to oliver um
before oh yeah prince oliver
he's been in love with her since
childhood they met i think when they
were like nine or some [ __ ] like that
they lost their virginity to each other
in high school
and then once her sister passed away he
like became very nervous and was just
kind of keeping closer tabs on her which
yes to your point even when i was
reading i was like so he stalked her it
doesn't really sound like she knew any
of this was happening and so like were
they together when they slept together
or was it like uh you're a dude i'm a
chick we're friends like let's see it
was more of that like they've never
been in a full relationship together i
think it was more like we grew up
together you're safe you're hot let's
i'd i'd rather lose my originator to
someone safe i don't know i'm creating a
narrative here that i'm the book may
have told me but i forgot so i don't
think it did so i'm just creating this
one noted yeah so like they move in and
then they're like all right let's like
let's take a nap so that they lay down
in her bed and edie falls asleep and
then
oliver's just sitting there kind of
processing and thinking about all of
this and she's hot in there and he's
been in love with her forever so he gets
super worked up and he starts
masturbating in bed next to her while
she's sleeping if i worked up do you
mean just wicked hard like what does
worked up mean i i do hannah i do mean
wicked hard
he got
worked up
he got a log in the river
there she is
and
so like this is all while she's sleeping
and he just like comes on her sheets
which also i gotta say
i would be
i'd be so pissed
like i'm like what the [ __ ]
so just as an aside which is not
relevant right now but i did just think
of it so i've been watching trailer park
boys like re-watching it recently go on
love it
and at one point bubbles i don't
remember the context but bubbles is like
oh yeah he was feeding the geese as a
way to say that somebody was
masturbating
and i literally like looked at my
husband and i was like that shit's going
in the podcast and he was like baby you
need the hand motion for that to make
sense because it's like he has his hand
down low and it's like he's spreading
bird feed but from his dick and so
that's like feeding the geese so all i
can think about right now is this
[ __ ] is feeding the geese in her
bed
okay well go it's about to get in my
opinion a little worse before it gets
better i don't know if it gets better um
but it does get worse
so he comes all over her sheets and then
wakes her up by fingering her jesus
christ
and then is like super aroused but he's
like oh like if she moved her hand an
inch lower it would be in my jizz that's
on her sheets so then he's like oh i'm
gonna eat her out
so he takes his semen from the sheets
and starts like smearing it all over her
cuckoo as like a claiming motion before
he eats her out and i hated everything
about you do me a favor real quick and
stop
just stop
okay i'm done like and that's the
episode y'all because
i don't
i have feelings and i need to call nancy
my therapist because i have feelings hey
nancy
thanks for all you do i'm so sorry that
this is awesome [ __ ]
and so then he's eating her out and then
he's like and now we're playing london
bridge which is our game which is where
i spell out the words london bridge with
my tongue
on her nether region that is not what a
london bridge is but anyway carry on
you're right that is not what a london
bridge is it's his own
game
version of a london bridge
so they play london bridge
his version of it
she comes and then she offers to blow
him but then he's like oh i don't want
to take advantage of my depressed best
friend so then he just goes into her
bathroom and masturbates again
so i distinctly remember about 30
seconds ago asking you to stop
what the [ __ ]
remember before we started this book and
i looked at you and said
at some point you're gonna be like what
the [ __ ] and you're like that's gonna be
a big thing to get me to say what the
[ __ ] about a sex scene and i'm like
also this is like chapter two or three
of the book
so yes he goes he masturbates
um
and then they're like hey
like they decide together they're they
need to go shopping to get her an
updated wardrobe so she can fit in as a
pretentious school because she wants to
pledge to become a knight so she's like
the only way i'm going to figure out
happening to my sister is if i join this
[ __ ] secret society
so
does
ali ollie oxenfree is he a member of
this [ __ ]
society or is he just like he also wants
to pledge it which and because he's a
prince and it's like all like powerful
affluent men
gross yes um
so they're essentially like you need to
fit in and like lose the black sheep
vibe so they go shopping for clothes
and then while they're out shopping the
cashier at the clothing store her name
is holly
and dee and edie
look pretty similar
and like honestly i thought they were
twit the entire time i read this book i
was like yeah they're twins they're
twins they're twins and then when i read
the prequel afterwards i was like no
delilah was like a year older but they
looked very very similar and so
everyone knows that dee has passed away
tragically
um and holly the cashier like mentions
like she knew dee
um and was one of the last people to see
her alive
why would you mention that in casual
conversation
and then she agrees to meet them for
coffee so she can answer their questions
because they're trying to get to the
bottom of it okay
you seem just so over this one already
and i think we're still in chapter three
so i'm nervous about
no i i am i love it because there's so
much
here
but also
buckle in
but i also hate it
yes so
what we find out is that holly was hired
by dee to be part of the entertainment
for devil's night
and edie's like what the [ __ ] like what
do you mean my sister was like
scheduling the entertainment of like
scantily clad women and like she that
doesn't sound like my sister what the
hell
and then holly had signed an nda saying
she wouldn't talk to anyone about
anything
and she was never even questioned by the
police about what she saw
so she was at the mansion that the
knights of arcadia had the devil's night
party at was one of the last people to
see dee and was never questioned by
police she does say that she saw dee
arguing with someone on the dock okay we
don't know who um
and then she was like yeah it's so sad
that she passed away like i i like they
said she couldn't swim
and then edie gets all pissed and she's
like
yeah
she couldn't swim but she wouldn't have
been in the water because she couldn't
swim so like she didn't drown
like something happened to her she would
not have been in the water
um
and
then
ollie like after this whole conversation
ollie asks edie if she's spoken to
keegan
keegan is
dee's fiancee
who's a senior at carnegie university
okay where they all attend
um but keegan's been like m.i.a since
dee passed away like wasn't even at her
funeral
um
so it's kind of like
they're like no we haven't but like
things are weird and so
i don't really know
um
and then edie is like i think it was
when holly was sitting there i don't
know there's so much that happens in
this book but like she looks at ollie
and she's like
oh like
i'll be like i'm a great wing woman i'm
happy to be your wing woman this year
and ollie
oliver is like i'm only here for one
reason
edie in case that wasn't obvious
[Laughter]
i'm only here for one reason and that is
the dubious consent of fingering you and
eating you out while you are asleep
yeah like he woke her up while fingering
her but i do think there's another level
of consent that's needed if you're
rubbing your semen on someone i would
agree
that's good
that's a really good thing hannah
i'm glad
um all right so
back to leo now see how that seems to
so
leo is just like i've been following
edie and she's not she's not a threat
she's not doing anything and then he
like sees her like out and about and her
new clothing he's like yeah she's just
as pretentious as the rest of them i
guess what i saw when she showed up a
little more casual wasn't really who she
was
so
his grandpa calls to check in while
leo's like just straight plowing into
this redhead
just like good for leo right mid [ __ ]
grandpa calls well hold up he answers
yeah because
that's the sort of person leo is
okay well so it's about to get worse
again before it gets better
but it didn't get better the first time
so
while they're on the phone grandpa
tells
leo that he's gonna let edie pledge for
the knights that her dad is a knight and
was like i want edie to have the chance
so she's gonna get to
pledge also
where were they in person i don't know
at some point like leo's grandpa calls
him to him he's like yeah sure so i
think this part the actual conversation
is in person after he was plowing into
the redhead so grandpa's like yeah
edie's gonna get to pledge to be a
knight um
and part of the reason we're letting her
pledge is because there's like rumors
circulating that like dee was killed
because she was a female who was
pledging and so they're like trying to
like suddenly
pretend like they give a [ __ ] about
gender equality even though it's this
like sexist old man society um and then
grandpa is like yeah and another part of
this leo we're reinstating your
fledgling status as
a knight
so you're now back in the fold of it
um and then his grandpa like grandpa's
telling leo like do whatever you need to
do to like
get to the bottom what's going on with
edie like [ __ ] her own her do whatever
you need
and then
the redhead that leo had been boning
suddenly walks into the room and starts
giving his grandpa a [ __ ]
back to edie
okay the look on hannah's face is like
what the [ __ ] is happening here i mean
i just
okay
[Laughter]
oh no
that's your only oh no
okay so back to edie well wait wait wait
wait wait did the redhead know grandpa
or when did she just walk in and was
like i'm into that wrinkly sack or like
what we don't really know the redheads
motivations
but
grandpa's kind of one of those old
creepy powerful men who thinks women are
objects gross so i think it was more of
like a power play for like oh you
thought this like hot little redhead was
yours she's not she's mine and like it
was more to like [ __ ] with leo than
anything else
okay so i hate grandpa carry on
that's the right feeling to have yes
hold on to that anger so back to edie um
edie and oliver both get their invites
to pledge for the knights
we also learned oliver made himself an
identical class schedule to edie so that
she he could keep her safe and keep an
eye on her
um
so
he needs therapy
and i think they all do
but especially him
not the dude whose grandpa just got a
balloon from the girl he was [ __ ] i
need him too
not that not the girl whose sister was
murdered these are the three we know so
far i feel like if there is anyone who's
potentially dangerous it's the one who
is not so mildly stalking his childhood
love
valid
i'm just saying like that's not even my
professional opinion just as a woman
you know that is fair so they're like
walking across campus to class and they
see keegan on campus and like so wait
they being edie and beauty and oliver
yeah edie and ollie are walking to class
because they have identical class
schedules and they see keegan walking
across campus and like edie's like i
want to go confront that [ __ ]
and then when she looks at him she's
like he's looking rough like he is
looking hungry like he can just not look
like he's doing okay maybe there's a
piece of this puzzle that like is still
missing for me so then
um when edie kind of goes up and like
wants to confront keegan suddenly mr
barclay is there um mr barclay is the
hot econ professor his first name is
ulrich or al rick i don't know ulrich
a-l-a-r-i-c
not all right alaric or ulrich oh ulrich
honestly his entire [ __ ] name ulrich
barclay i'm like what who hurt you yeah
more why is this the name we chose you
know
remember in our very first episode when
we talked about the name writer and rich
bold or rich ripe and smooth or whatever
the [ __ ] it was like
if there's a name that is not rich ripe
and smooth it would be alaric barclay
it does not roll off the tongue with
ease that is a fair statement
so
mr barclay
prof barclay i guess is suddenly there
the hot econ professor like intercedes
and then it's like hey edie can i speak
with you
um and then he like mentions the knights
invite and like the activity at eight
o'clock that night and then edie's like
what there's an invite or like there's
an activity h night like i got the
invite but i didn't see anything about
like an activity um and then edie like
mentions that to oliver and he's like
yeah he mentioned this activity like
what
um and ollie's like so weird and just
kind of evaded and then
edie was like are you not is he like
trying to sabotage my chances like is
oliver trying to sabotage my chances of
becoming a knight
he is
so
spoiler switch switch back to ollie
ollie did hide the night's note about
the event at 8 pm that night but why
because he wants to keep edie safe and
doesn't think going down this like very
dark pathway
of trying to avenge her sister's death
is the way to do that but yeah so then
like oliver like goes like confronts
barclay and barclay's like listen
[ __ ] i hand-delivered the invite so i
know she was supposed to know it was at
8 pm so
what what happened do i need to tell her
that you're like you're [ __ ] with her
so then like
we're getting into those aspects so we
have like a a dick measuring situation a
little bit and so now we have met the
three dudes okay so barkley's the third
yes you have leo
ollie
barclay but i want to call him barkley
i'm just gonna say the professor
that's fine that's that's at least that
nickname makes sense some of the
nicknames you go with for books i'm like
we don't know who that's about
the professor does make sense in my
brain it tracks and i could explain it
sometimes but i just choose not to and
sometimes i guess i do
explain it but regardless the professor
is correct makes sense yes so there's
kind of this like power dynamic there so
then edie and oliver end up having this
conversation and she's like don't use
kid gloves with me and like don't get in
the way of my plan like i like uprooted
my life and came here to figure this out
so like don't [ __ ] with that he's like
yeah yeah totally totally totally then
he's like do you want a sip of water
before we like go to this thing is he
drugging her he was totally gonna try
and drug her and so he was gonna try and
do it anyway but leo happened to walk
past and just like
like accidentally hits the water bottle
out of his hands and was like sorry and
just keeps walking
so did leo know
not that it was drugged leo's also just
kind of an [ __ ] so it could have
honestly just been by chance uh just
general douchery
yes
so at the meeting with all of the
knights they announced that they're like
oh for female pledges safety they'll now
be assigned a night of fledgling and a
pledge as they go through the trials to
keep them safe
i wonder who her knight and fledgling
and pledge will be
who could it be hannah it's a mystery
that you're gonna solve right now
probably yeah so edie's assigned barclay
leo and oliver
i know none of us saw that coming
oh wow
um so
the meeting's done there they all go and
then leo's like hey let's all go to
drivers hall we need to have a meeting
let's all get on the same page
so they all go into
um edie's dorm and she has like three
dorm mates
and leo calls a dorm meeting
and for like the building for the girls
living in their like dorm suite okay and
it takes his dick out
and it's like if one of y'all can make
me nut you can stay but if you can't all
of you are out and we're taking this
space over
so
um
hold on
um
why
i'm struggling so hard because like
there's so many why didn't he just tell
them all to get the [ __ ] out why did he
need to take his dick out about it
because you don't get your dick sucked
that way hannah if you just tell them to
leave
but he wanted them to leave
did he or did he want his dick suction
to make a power move did he get his dick
sucked
so god damn it an
a redhead roommate yes yet another
redhead
i'm sensing that leo has a type right um
starts blowing leo just like drops your
knees and it's like all right if that's
what i got to do that's what i got to do
so she drops on her knees starts blowing
leo barclay looks around and he's like
well if it's necessary gina you've got
me and gina's like the class president
she's like okay so she just gets on her
knees
and starts blowing barclay the professor
as well
um and then another girl steps forward
to oliver and it's like i guess like
you're mine but oliver like turns to
eating he's like they're in there isn't
a reason why she shouldn't blow me is
there
like totally trying to play edie's hand
and he's like
nope live your life
so leo decides he's like all right the
girls get five more minutes if they
can't make any of us orgasm in five
minutes
they're all out but then edie's like i
don't want these dudes as [ __ ]
roommates so she decides she's gonna
help the girls out so good for her so
she goes over to oliver and starts
jacking all of her off
while his
while the other girl is still blowing
him
um and he got like real real close and
then right as like leo calls time
oliver comes like right afterwards so
then they're like okay
[ __ ] so then the guys decide to lock
edie up stairs in her room while like
they deliberate and come up with a game
plan and they kick the other girls out
and then all of the dudes are like
trying to come up with a game plan and
then they overhear edie masturbating
upstairs in her room because she's doing
it loudly
okay
um in the morning they unlock edie's
room
and then she picks the lock on leo's
door i don't know
i don't doesn't matter all i have
written is in the morning they unlock
edie's room she picks lock on leo's door
sexual tension moment
[Laughter]
like nothing happens between leo and
edie but there's just this like budding
chemistry between them right because
she watched him get blown and then he
heard her masturbate
you get it
you you get all of this book i almost
don't even need to review it
um so then the whole gang is like we're
gonna meet at a coffee shop to like game
plan
and then
the barista at the coffee shop like
looks at edie and is like
oh are you dee's twin like
like was like i knew your sister
um like another one yeah it's like very
clearly like
knows
who edie is and then as they're leaving
the barista like tries to grab edie to
talk to her
pisses leo right the [ __ ] off
so leo knocks them down to the ground
and it's a boy barista yes a boy barista
recognizes a barista
i'm sorry
if it's a girl a phoebe if it's a boy
fibo
yes that's you get it so the male
barista sees edie and then like is like
oh like i knew your sister
and then tries to grab her as she's
leaving because he wants to talk to her
and it pisses leo off so leo knocks the
barista on the ground and then takes his
dick out planning on peeing on the dude
to make an example out of him so
i am sensing
that leo has some anger issues
yes and
that
you know how
toddlers tend to have a fascination
with
their penises leo never moved past that
why is it why is his first move to just
whip his dick out that's the first move
every time
i think a lot of dudes would want to
have that as their first move if it were
more don't they have impulse control
okay so the problem is really leo's lack
of impulse control
i don't know what the problem is but
there is there's definitely problems and
we will learn a little bit more about
why leo is the way leo is i don't think
i want to that's fair um so then like
edie intervenes and it's like you aren't
gonna piss on this dude so
um she tries to intervene leo throws her
over his shoulder
she bites him then an admin comes and
breaks it up and is like drags edie and
is like you need to come with me to the
admin office we need to figure this out
and so they're at the admin office and
then suddenly there's a bag over her
head and she's grabbed and thrown in a
car
welcome to the trials it's the first
trial as a pledge to make it into the
knights of arcadia
okay
what none of us saw that coming i'm
floored right
hey there smud puppies
we'll get you right back to the show in
just a moment but first
do you like us
maybe even
love us
cause we sure love you
and if you do love us
don't tease us
tell us in those ratings and reviews
wherever you're listening right now
maybe even send us over to a special
sexy someone that would enjoy getting
smutty with us
because you know the first rule of smug
club
is to talk about smut club
all right i won't keep you any longer
let's get back to the show
[Music]
switch to oliver oliver's the first one
to realize that edie's gone so we do
have to thank his stalkerish ways for
something at some level but has he not
already planted a tracker on her person
because if he was a good stalker he
would have had a tracker on her person
no but leo does in the future noted yeah
so he realizes edie's gone all of the
guys meet back at jarvis hall and
they're like [ __ ] what do we do
this is part of the trials like we
clearly need to go get her back
um
leo hadn't realized that like the admin
who came and grabbed her
was
sorry hannah that was my foot um i just
reached out i just moved my foot and i
got this look on her face i did not
realize my foot was then touching her
barefoot we had an awkward moment of eye
contact i straight-up thought that was
brandon i could tell also brandon's my
dog not my husband i know this book
seems to have some like fetishy things
and i just want to be very clear that
like my husband was not under the table
nor was my dog
trying to get to hannah's feet
so there's that um
yes leo did not realize that the admin
was a knight who was like i need to talk
to edie got it so
while they're all at the dorm kind of
like plotting and brainstorming a
bouquet of black roses get delivered and
i have nothing that says like to the
death of your partnership unless you can
find her
um so leo calls his grandfather to ask
where she is
um and grandpa's like yeah all of the
female pled things were taken it's a
fight to get them back first like all of
the teams were careless y'all are not
doing a great job at this
leo kind of from some context clues
guesses where she's at and he's right so
like they
all get in a car and drive to this house
in a fluent neighborhood and like leo
just happens to have a key but we don't
fully know why and edie is tied up there
and there's a camera on her
so they find her they're like we got her
back [ __ ] you
switch to edie
[Laughter]
okay there's really no other way to like
it feels
the chapter shifts feel as dramatic
reading them as describing have you ever
watched bob's burgers it's one of my
favorites bob's burgers i
have definitely seen episodes but i
wouldn't say i watch it consistently so
there are a set of twins in
bob's burgers
named andy and ollie and they do this
thing every now and then where they go
back to you andy back to you ollie back
to you andy back to you ollie and that's
all i can think about right now that's a
pretty app description because i feel
that exact way
back to edie um
so back to edie they're now at the dorm
edie rightly so she has a panic attack
and is like freaked the [ __ ] out i
understand and she locks herself in her
room
and ollie like comes to her door and
he's trying to help and she's like no i
don't want to be near anyone so then
barclay like pixel luck lets himself
into her room and they end up cuddling
and like he's like helping her calm down
and then he tells her that the house
that she was at was the house that leo
grew up in where leo's like
parents died
so like there's like a mind [ __ ] on
several levels yeah okay
okay so so we learned leo's parents are
dead
yes in this and so like and that he's
always kind of been reliant on his
grandpa because his parents were dead
right he could manipulate him and the
professor's creepier than we thought
just cuddling with a woman who's having
a panic attack
i mean i think it was post-panic attack
like it didn't seem as like it seemed
more helpful in the book than creepy
okay i'll take your word for it post
panic attack if you were like coming
down from it so i just want to say like
in the context of
the the sheet jizz and the
the sleep fingering and the
whip and the dick out like
the cuddling is creepy that's
like that's the part that you're like
that's the part where you go what the
[ __ ] is the cuddling
leo just planned on whipping his dick
out to piss on a man and cuddling is
freaking you out
nancy
we i think we may have found something
for you and hannah to talk about next
session
i have some questions
the best part of this is nancy is like a
i don't know 70 year old lady who's just
lovely and so sweet and i would never
discuss
dick whipping with her
maybe i would i shouldn't say that that
was therapeutically appropriate and
necessary it's not just something i
would bring up
randomly
anyway sorry nancy um so
leo decides he's gonna go confront his
grandfather because he's pissed
and his grand grandpa's like just like
you know he's like this isn't for show
like you actually are back as a
fledgling status with the knights like
don't [ __ ] it up like you can actually
get back in
um leo kind of starts to like
get triggered and have some flashbacks
from his parents house and so he's like
[ __ ] all this i'm just gonna go
get drunk i'm gonna go to the bar
i'm not dealing with any of this i'm
gonna find a redhead
essential like i guess that's his thing
so i don't know if she's a redhead he
does take home the bartender to the dorm
room
that he's sharing
with the two other dudes and edie
um so he takes her home
and then as they're coming in like
making like leo and the bartender are
making noise in the foyer
edie's in the kitchen and like hears
them so she interrupts and like tells
the bartender that leo has an std
i like that yeah and so the bartender is
like all right well i'm out of here good
talk everybody so then leo was like
i like i'm gonna make like looks at edie
and he's like you have to check my dick
for stds get on your knees
so she does
um
yes
she
edie is inspecting leo's dick for stds
he has his dick pierced
so
this doesn't sound like a medical
evaluation
mean the college student
who just [ __ ] blocked him
it doesn't seem like a medical
evaluation when she's on her knees
just staring at his dick piercing no it
does not
well and then he's like have you ever
seen a guy with a or have you ever been
with a guy with a pierced dick before
and she's like no and he's like you
probably never will because i doubt you
could satisfy my appetite then he just
puts his dick away and leaves the room
okay so he does have some impulse
control
i also want you guys to know since you
aren't here and can't see this happening
um my husband as we've mentioned
previously produces the podcast and he's
currently sitting at the end of the
table just looking at me like
chelsea
what the [ __ ]
is this
like any reaction hannah's having my
husband is having the same one silently
five feet away from her
like we are both just continuously
covering our faces and silently
like laughing but it's not a laugh it's
like a
it's a cry for help
[Laughter]
back to edie
okay back to 80 it's the next morning
the whole crew is having a little pow
wow in the kitchen i'm just powering
through this i
don't know what else to do
like both hannah and my husband are in
tears right now
so we're having a kitchen powwow we're
having a kitchen powwow i'm tracking i'm
with you
and they're discussing security for the
dorm and barclay's like oh yeah i hired
a security team to come in make sure
like nothing can happen to edie again
and then leo's like you think i leave my
dorm unprotected there's cameras
everywhere and he's like check out what
my cameras picked up in our foyer last
night
um so then edie's like oh [ __ ] no i
can't let them see so when leo grabs his
phone to show the video of edie doing
her um
layman's std
check
edie just takes his phone and like
throws it into another version
i don't know what you're talking about
um and then like leah's like
if my phone is broken i'm going to be
super pissed at you so
as they are
then walking to class ali and edie are
walking together the dudes have all
decided like at no point will edie be
left alone oh my god is it a buddy
system buddy system we love a good buddy
system
so we love a good buddy system as they
are walking the class they pass anne
marie she's another pledge um
and she's just a
[ __ ]
um always has been a [ __ ] and she's
like oh look i heard my guys found me
faster than yours i guess they're so
much better at taking care of me than
yours are and it's just like
kind of basking in the attention of the
dudes that are around here
and they're like all right [ __ ] we
don't care
but eating notices like ollie is being
weird so then ollie like pulls her into
the stairwell and is like pushes her
against the wall and is like grinding up
on her and he's like you like bad boys
don't you
and then edie's like oh [ __ ] he saw more
of the footage than i realized and then
i can't even do it
i'm afraid no say it honestly it's not
even bad it's just all
as everything is
um i believe our air just kicked on and
now my dog brandon is pissed about
whatever is about to happen
that is what's happening
and or he's really excited brandon is
really
he just wants to be invited to the party
man he just wants to be near you
he's invited to every party he's
precious right
um
but i wouldn't say either of my pets are
known for their great boundaries
yeah and
i will also say that's not on them at
all i have not made them have great
boundaries so i can't be upset with the
lack of them well no and earlier today
craig tried to get up on my shoulder and
was all up on me craig is a cat
i just figured important clarification
if y'all haven't listened that is also
not my husband
my husband's name is vance my dog is
brandon and my cat is craig
craig was all up on me trying to get on
my shoulder and it was one of the best
moments that i've had in a long time and
so the lack of boundaries sometimes is
not bad yeah craig fancies himself
a pirate's life he wants to be the
little parrot just perching on your
shoulder and he can be [ __ ] best he
can be um yes so
he's not in this scene though in this
scene
oliver has like pushed e against the
wall he's like you like bad boys don't
you and she realized like she's like oh
he saw the footage he's trying to like
assert his dominance and like and
oliver's kind of like he's a taker but
i'm a giver um i know how much you like
[ __ ] play
which i'm also like i don't think i've
ever heard the term clip play before
because i just thought
that's just what normal
yeah you know like i was like yeah like
to me i'm like that's not being like oh
i know how much you like blood play or
breath play right or anything like that
i'm like clip play just
for anyone who has a [ __ ] i feel like
they're into clip play
i haven't met anyone with the [ __ ] who's
not into clip play
i just think
yeah i'm like cool
you like having someone's hand down your
pants but i i don't think i've ever been
like
hey honey
i really need more clip play because
that's just not things people say unless
you are disgraced british royalty in
this book or really bad at it
i was giving people more credit oh
that makes me sad um yeah so he like i
know how much you love clip play and
then like ollie like brings edie to
orgasm in the stairwell well good for
him
i guess right and then he's like the
next time you want to feel good like
come to me instead and then he's kind of
like are you mad about the video
and he's like i'm not mad i just want
you to see what's right in front of you
like it's always been you so like he's
getting more assertive and like actually
telling her how he feels
[Music]
honestly probably just because there's
other people that he now views as a
threat that he didn't before right so
there's a sense of urgency around yes
right
um so now it's time for the next trial
oh no we are still in ed's perspective
still in edi's point of view when they
get to the knights building keegan is
standing out from
and keegan sees who edi's partnered with
and he's like what the [ __ ] get as far
away as you can from leo you can't trust
him like if they partnered you with him
they want you to fail
um like you need to protect yourself
don't trust anyone
so keegan is like saying all this to
edie and then leo's like shut the [ __ ]
up and just like
beats keegan up which seems to be you
know essentially his mo um they then
blindfold edie to lead like edie and
oliver like take them to the next trial
and they all get on a bus
okay to be driven to where this trial is
happening so like all of the the people
who are in the trials are on the bus and
they're teammates okay yes so like well
like barclay's a full-fledged knight
he's because he's on edie's team
he's on the bus as well gotcha and so
she's being led onto the bus and things
like oh it's barclay because he's like
nicer and quieter and like i can't
really hear anything and then realize
it's like it's actually leo who is
leading her onto the bus
um but i will say like on the bus
leah's like surprisingly helpful and
like kind and they're kind of like
talking and they talk about keegan and
kind of how um
so
d and keegan had been one of those like
high society
our children will marry each other for
the advancement of our family names kind
of thing and so for the longest time
like they really hadn't been
in love with each other
but like well dee was always in love
with keegan but keegan was like i'm just
here for the family line [ __ ] i don't
really care
so kind of like talking about some of
that stuff um so is there a chance that
keegan becomes the fourth
if it does that'll be in a future book
okay so it's not in this one okay um
because that would be weird well i also
felt that more reading this book i was
like oh keegan might be a fourth in the
future but
the prequel is d's story okay so the
prequel ends which is not a plot twist
because we already know what happens the
prequel ends with how d dies
okay so we already know that full
journey in hush hush now mind you i
didn't read the prequel until after i
read this one so
for me it was kind of filling in more
context but i thought the exact same i
was like oh like is keegan gonna be the
fourth and then reading the book i was
like oh no like keegan and dee's
relationship does develop more
in the prequel
to the point where like at the beginning
kind of like enemies to lovers a little
bit of a bully romance
okay um
and then at the end he was in love with
her when she died okay which we will
also get to in the future but it's not
like a really big spoiler
um
yeah
like at one point like in this
conversation between leo and edie she's
like maybe you and keegan are a lot
alike and he's like because i think
everyone should get on their knees for
me like some like just this like
brash unnecessary um
he leo then drops his sweatshirt in
edie's lap now mind you once again they
are on a bus
she has a blindfold on so this entire
conversation they've been having she has
not been able to see him
and leo drops his sweatshirt in her lap
and then he's like this way people can't
see you when i check how wet you
are
so he starts fingering her she starts
getting super into it so to be clear
people still know
like
i feel like
i feel like it's not that secretive at
some point every high schooler or
college student has tried this with a
blanket or potentially a sweatshirt the
number of times when i used to work in
youth ministry that i'd be on a bus at 2
a.m and i'd have to shout hand check
exactly it's a thing it's not subtle
it's not we know what you're doing but i
also think like
so
any girl because there are no female
knights d had been the first female
pledge ever for the knights okay so all
of the females are
blindfolded all of the dudes
like
seem to have loose moral concern like
right i don't think any dude would bat
an eye at them fingering her on this bus
well still i mean everybody knows what
you're doing like he says nobody's gonna
see everybody's gonna know
well to be fair he said so people can't
see while i check how wet you are not
that they don't know that i'm checking
how wet you are so we might be arguing
semantics i was gonna say that really
does feel like semantics but okay carry
on anyway yeah so this is gonna continue
so i don't think we should get caught up
at this at this juncture into it
regardless yeah so like she starts to
get aroused and then like starts
pinching her own nipple like tries to
like cover like spread the sweatshirt to
cover her own nipples as well while she
pinches them and then as she's like
pinching her nipples and like getting
super close the bus stops
and so then leo's like everyone get the
[ __ ] off the bus and so it's just their
team on the bus
and barclay's like what do we have here
and leo's like a soaking wet female
and then oliver is like my girl loves
someone to go down on her when she's
this worked up
um
so then they're like okay leave the
blindfold on we won't tell you which
guy's gonna go down on you
so all three dudes are standing there
on the bus
while one of them eats her out on the
bus bench but we don't know who's eating
her out
okay
but they tell her to moan all of their
names just to cover their bases
okay
at this point i feel like you're done
with the questioning you're just like
okay what next
okay that too
okay and now i mean i just i
i
okay
[Laughter]
so do we ever find out
yeah we do find out okay yes carry on
then honestly we find out in like the
next chapter i was gonna say i feel like
it's probably pretty yeah she doesn't
find out for a chapter two it was
barclay who ate her out okay way to go
professor exactly
um while leo stood there and watched and
i guess technically oliver stood there
and watched as well but he was also
blindfolded so
he just heard it yeah oh well um back to
leo
so they
they lead
edie and oliver down to where this trial
is happening the trial is at a river
which is the river
de den
so they're kind of like is everything
that we're doing just like [ __ ] like we
like kidnapped we've like taken like the
place where like d died like
are they trying to [ __ ] with edie like
leo's actually kind of starting to like
ask questions and realize like maybe
things are a little off um so their
challenge is that all of the pledges
have to go back between treading water
in this like
ice cold river
and standing on burning hot coals
until they're told otherwise okay
yes
naked
sure they do get to take the blindfolds
off oh well okay then you know to keep
it fair hannah they did allow them the
power of sight again
when they're all naked yes and so
they're like all right like edie just
kind of was like this is what i need to
do just gets quiet like kind of like
gets her head in the game is like [ __ ]
this like i need to find out what
happened to my sister i just need to
like do this so i just want to point out
okay i feel like the women have an
advantage here with the cold water that
the men
pledges do not
i don't think any of that matters right
now um so it is about so they're all
naked
because we're about to go on a side
journey like it's about to get like real
[ __ ] up we're like they're going back
and forth they're clearly struggling
they're going from this like ice cold
river to standing on these coals and
then they hop in the water and then
suddenly like some blonde hair starts to
float closer to
edie
and she's like what the [ __ ] and she
like like it touches her and it turns
over and it was a model head doll with
blonde hair that someone had written
delilah aster
across the floor
yes so then like edie
very justifiably like starts screaming
and losing her [ __ ]
yeah and that's where that scene ends
okay and that's all from
leo's perspective yes okay yes okay um
and now we're actually switching to
barclays perspective okay yes so
they're now back on the bus
um edie and oliver sitting next together
next to each other together um barclay
and leo are sitting next to each other
on the bus and like kind of debriefing
what just happened and they're like
edie's clearly like it was like the
river d died in like the model head like
what the [ __ ] is happening this is like
not casual and this is all very
intentional
so they all go back to the dorm
and kind of start
bonding and drinking together and like
barclay like cleans and bandages like
both edie and ollie's feet for them
but
then they start talking about anne-marie
the [ __ ] from earlier
she was also part of this
and when edie started screaming when she
saw the doll head and marie started
laughing
and so then everyone was like she knew
like either she knew or but either like
no matter if she knew or not they're
like it wasn't funny this [ __ ] needs to
go we're gonna destroy her life so then
their whole team decides that they're
going to like get this revenge plot
together
to destroy anne-marie's life
which kind of brings them you know they
bond over it and then leo announces like
edie's gonna sleep in his room and she's
like because like we all agreed she like
would one of us would be with her 24 7
so she's gonna sleep in my room
and she's like okay that sounds good and
then ollie's pissed and like storms off
to his own room
so back to edie now also pause going
back because i know we were about to go
on a tangent before then i was like no
no no there's about to be a doll head
that's going to [ __ ] everything up i
don't think women having an advantage in
the cold water over men i mean i just
mean
you know what i meant what did you mean
hannah
i meant nipples and penises is what i
meant
but what's the advantage when it comes
to treading water
i mean physically there isn't one but if
we're naked looking at each other women
have an advantage i don't
know i think when you're jumping and 40
degree water and standing on burning
coals
i mean i'm sure you don't care while
that's happening but the people who are
watching because clearly there are
people watching but i think it was just
like not bowing out so i don't think
there was any advantage i mean i don't
me again i don't mean physically i mean
visually for the individuals watching i
don't
okay
i mean
listen
we've already gone on such a journey
there's more of a journey to be had okay
so
do you not want to go on the rest of
this journey i'm in it now do you want
me to stop the review you know
you told me to buckle in and i'm fully
buckled i know i felt like you didn't
believe me at first i'm fully and then
we took the first few sharp turns and
you were like [ __ ] i better buckle in
now because i didn't before all right
back to eating i just tightened the belt
is what happened carry on back to edie
she's in leo's room and leo's actually
i'm gonna grab a blanket and go sleep on
the couch in my room and she's like
what okay um so she's laying in his bed
he's laying on the couch and then she
starts to hear him watching porn and
like stroking himself
and then he starts narrating the porn to
edie
and so like telling her like oh like
this is what they're doing like she
starts to get pretty worked up and then
she realizes that she recognizes the
like the description and it's a
recording of her on the bus
[Laughter]
and she's like wait so then it wasn't
you who was going down on me if you were
recording and he's like maybe it was me
licking you and someone else was was
recording and already texted out like
who can say
and so then edie tries to get out of bed
to go see the video and leo's like if
you come over here i'm gonna delete this
so like don't ruin my moment
and edie's like you mean my moment
and leo's like i'll give you a moment to
remember
um
what a threat oh actually that may have
been edie saying that i don't know they
get naked she starts touching herself
leo rips off her panties so he can watch
her touch herself
they maintain eye contact well they both
masturbate
um
leo comes all over her boobs okay
and then
i mean considering all the other things
that have happened that feels pretty
tame at this point and then he's like
you should always be wearing my [ __ ] and
she's like like a mark and he's like
like i own you
so
okay
just something about the way you dropped
your voice to deliver that
really
how would you have preferred me deliver
that line i don't know
i'm not
i'm just pointing it out that it was a
thing that happened it was i also don't
think that's the first time nor will it
be the last time i dropped my voice for
a dramatic part of a reading no and i
know that i have done the same but
something about that particular moment
just stuck with me so anyway well also
the o words are always weird like own
obedience like you will obey me and
you're like
will
i like i don't think i will 10 bucks
says i won't [ __ ] like
really i don't think that's gonna happen
right i was on board until you used that
o word and now i don't care if i come
but i'm gonna make sure you don't
so i'm vindictive with it as well
all right so it's the next morning
switch to oliver they decide to set the
anne-marie plan of motion they know
anne-marie's dad has been having an
affair with her secretary so they
essentially schedule this meeting
and they plan on like going and um
accidentally walking into her dad's
office over his lunch break when it's
everyone knows he's [ __ ] his
secretary
so
um like edie gets dressed in some of
delilah's clothes and like finds one of
her like more like business appropriate
dresses and when she does
the note falls out like a love note
falls out of all of delilah's belongings
that says can't wait for your big day
i've memorized your body
so then well okay yeah so then edie's
like what who sent this do we know
anything about this no like this makes
me feel weird like i need to go through
the rest of her stuff at some point to
see if i can figure all of this out
um
what happens next honestly there's so
much
happening
um
there's like a like all of them i don't
remember all of them honestly here's
what i wrote has a slight clearing of
the air after last night edie says i
don't know what this is between us yet
with leo i know where i stand
oh she's talking to oliver at this point
like oliver because he had been pissed
that's what it was there's so much that
happened i was like i can't even keep
track of my notes
yes because
because leo had announced that like she
was staying in his room and oliver got
pissed right like clearly then she's
like
listen like i think for edie it's that
leo feels easier than like [ __ ] up
a lifelong friendship with oliver so
it's like
i don't want this to go sideways and i
don't know what this is with you yet but
with leo i know where i stand so it
seems like she's not she doesn't even
really like leo
she's like attracted to him and can
tolerate him but she's she doesn't have
like a an attachment to him at this
point
i think it's forming with all of them
but it was just already the most
pronounced with oliver because they had
all of the history
um because then oliver also kind of
notes that like both
barclay and leo
have been like more into edie and more
intentional
and
he's like oh [ __ ] like i may actually
need to like fight for her if this is
what i want um or they'll ruin my
chances
so
yeah i can't remember if i said that
we'd switch to oliver i don't know we're
back to edie now they're together
doesn't matter um so edie and oliver go
to emery's dad's office they have the
camera in hand they plan to start
recording since he normally bones his
secretary at lunch when they
accidentally like so like when they get
there
um anne-marie's dad's office door is
already cracked and it's not closed and
like what is this about and then when
they look in they find anne-marie
boning
franklin jarvis grandpa jarvis leo's
grandpa anne-marie is boning
leo's grandpa in her father's office and
then in the corner her father's just
standing there watching
the look on your face says you hate
everything about this
[Music]
okay
yeah so they're like yep this is not
what we said
they're like
we're out of here this is not what i
signed up for i just thought i was gonna
ruin her life by releasing video footage
of her dad boning his secretary i didn't
think i'd watch
her bone leo's grandpa while her dad
stood in the corner and watched although
i feel like that would equally ruin her
life
i agree
yeah i'm like that's not better
i mean like the grandpa boning i feel
like could go one way or another really
but the dad in the room it just puts it
like on another level like we're done
here
well so then they like take off and
escape through the elevators but they're
like they gasped when they saw it and
like there was like the sound that was
heard so
as they got off the elevators a random
dude walks up and is like were you just
up on that floor like no what are you
talking about
the dude who's questioning them is
vincent jarvis leo's douchey cousin
um and he kind of cuts off the office or
like their exit and is like asking like
were you just up at like kennedy's
office and they're like no
who's kennedy yeah so then leo
intercedes and is like oh no they're
with me
and
so they all just like are able to leave
and they make it to the car and then um
barclay sitting in the back with edie
and then edie is like we all need to
talk but like
he's like or she wants to like tell them
what's happening but she's also like
well barclay's a knight and leo's a
fledgling so like can i like can i trust
them yeah can we trust them with this
because this isn't like
typical stuff
then
it's not typical
it's not typical to walk into a room and
find
a
a schoolmate [ __ ] your other
schoolmate's grandpa while her dad
watches that is not typical you're
correct i would also like to note i
don't think it makes it better but i
don't think leah was a schoolmate
anymore i think he graduated
it doesn't make it better yeah so he's
just there
you're like chelsea that makes it worse
[ __ ] you um
yeah cause he's just hanging around in
the dorm whipping his dick out
his name's on the hall it's jarvis hall
he's leo jarvis like oh well then it's
kosher i know maybe i didn't clarify
that enough before to say that makes it
okay to do things like pee on people
happy passover everybody
i hope this episode drops nowhere near
april and everyone has no idea
what the [ __ ] you were referring to
i'm like okay i'm so sorry anyway
so they don't know if they can trust
them and then edie's like take us to
some place the nights would never go so
that we can like maybe have a
conversation about this so leo takes
them to a go-kart place
naturally right and he's like you know
where the knights are too highbrow for
go-karts and they have great food there
so that's where he takes them good for
leo um yes but then like edie's super
hesitant to tell the guys anything
because she's like i don't know if we
can trust them so then barclay's like a
secret for a secret and has leo record
him
taking a video saying like
i went down on a student and that he
lied to the knights about why he wanted
to return to carnegie university so we
start to like learn like barclay has
some layers underneath and like there's
some things but like we don't
necessarily we don't know any of that
backstory
um so then edie and ollie tell them what
they saw i.e anne-marie [ __ ]
grandpa jarvis
i just
listen listen we we fully support
age gap like i want to be clear
like we're not here to king shame
anybody
no but i'm not king shaming the age gap
i'm we're consuming grandpa jarvis yeah
who is gross
the power
yes what yes we are ashamed to point
that out yes we're cool like you do your
thing man
but
yeah with a power dynamic like that we
won't get into a consent conversation
but i don't feel like well i think
at least once an episode we say consent
is very important consent matters
um
so yes eating ollie tell them what they
saw and then leo is like
i bet
that was an alliance move for cousin
vincent and that anne-marie is going to
be marrying into the family because
grandpa [ __ ] every girl who marries
into the family to show he's still the
head of it
and then um is that like a prima nocta
situation
i don't know what that means oh my god
have you never watched the movie brave
or not brave
yes braveheart
brave and braveheart are gonna be real
different different and spray part was
the one i was thinking of um i'm not
gonna lie i probably haven't seen
braveheart in 20 years okay
so
in braveheart kind of the whole point
behind it is that
the king has the power to
deflower any woman on her wedding night
as claiming rights of primo primonocta
or whatever
and so
in braveheart the one guy is like um the
king is not going to rape my wife so
they get married in secret and then
people find out and his wife dies and
then he goes around killing people but
the point is that's what this sounds
like it's like a prima noctis situation
like if you're gonna marry into the
family you have to [ __ ] the king
yeah and then her dad had to stand on
the corner and make sure there was
quality control i was gonna ignore that
how are you going to ignore her father
doing quality control by not mentioning
it it doesn't change it that's just
called avoidance hannah
i am very deep in experiential avoidance
of her father watching her [ __ ] a man
that i imagine was what like 50 years
older than her at least yeah well and
then edie's like i'm afraid that'll be
me next and leo's like i won't let that
happen
um
yeah so then they all get back to the
dorm room
there's a high-ranking member of the
knights there his name is jack green
um and he tells them that they're in
fourth as far as all of like the pledge
rankings um but then it also says for
passing the second challenge edie and
ollie get a reward and the knights
reward with your greatest sexual fantasy
of course and then edie realizes like
she is oliver's greatest sexual fantasy
which is sweet right um but then he's
like
get up to my room and don't say another
word like we're doing this [ __ ] because
i feel like he's just been waiting for
his chance and he's like i'm [ __ ]
taking this chance i'm gonna make her
mine this shit's on lock now exactly
so he orders her to his room he's like
definitely way more demanding than usual
and like edie starts to realize like oh
he is really giving during sex like i'm
like what did you think what's happening
this you mean the man playing london
bridge
with your [ __ ] and then he went to
masturbate in your bathroom because he
didn't want to inconvenience his
depression he's not a generous lover
he's not a generous lover she thinks he
is a generous lover well now she knows
well i think he was a generous lover
then as well was he she didn't think so
i don't think i don't think she ever
thought of it like it was just like oh
okay like
she would
she'd he'd give her a [ __ ]
that's not
i know i've said that before and you
were like chelsea
can women get [ __ ] and i'm like i
guess if he blows on it you can um so
she
oh my god
i just i don't think i've ever said it
but i think it bears saying now that
i love that we're doing this
i love it so much even if nobody ever
hears any of this [ __ ]
i [ __ ] love that we are taking the
time to do this right oh me too
yeah so all right here's the thing i
think edie realized oliver was just like
always offering to go down on her and
then when she'd like oh like she'd
orgasm like do you want do you want it
hurting like no thanks i'm good she was
just like trying to
not ask anything of her so i think she
like actually did start to realize like
oh he's a really generous lover and
maybe i've been a little bit selfish um
my
notes they have passionate wild sex
there's a lot of stuff that happens i
don't really know um but then she
realizes that like the door is open and
that leo and barclay can like hear
everything that's happening nice i'm
sure ollie did that on purpose oh one
thousand 000
um and then afterwards ollie's like
like he's still inside her and he's like
i'm
i'm never leaving because like i'm
afraid i'll never have
you again
like you can't just stay inside of her
indefinitely like that's not
that's unhealthy
physically and emotionally
on a lot of levels um so then edie
kisses him and
is like oh maybe like our relationship
is shifting
okay
yeah i think she's coming to terms with
like
her best friend has real feelings for
her and she's like do i want to destroy
my relationship with my best friend for
the sake of like potentially moving into
a romantic relationship but i already
lost my sister and like
so many layers yeah like i think she's
she's trying to process it
so we're back to leo now okay we are now
a week in the future things have been
calm so hold up hold up hold up so that
was leo's sexual fantasy did or i mean
ollie's sexual fantasy did we'll get
there okay yeah well i was like hold up
are we leaving out edie because my girl
deserves satisfaction i mean i think she
got satisfaction
within during her experience it wasn't
her
yes fantasy she will get more
satisfaction before the book ends um but
you are correct we have not gotten to
her greatest sexual fantasy yet okay
i wonder what it could be
well so does funny because they're a
week in the future and like edie is
avoiding all of them and it's just like
i'm keeping my head down this has been
getting wild um
and leo and barclay are like talking in
the kitchen about edie's greatest sexual
fantasy being all three of them nice and
um they're like even the prince said
that like the fantasy is all three of us
so edie overhears and she's like i love
that you guys are talking about my
greatest sexual fantasy before i've even
had coffee in the morning
um
and she's like that's not what i want
and so then like leo and barclay kind of
like
my notes say make her a sex sandwich
trying to get her to admit it um
so like leo starts like pushing in
behind her and barclay pushes it on her
front and then like leo spreads her ass
cheeks to make a nook for himself and
then they're like what's your greatest
fantasy
um
yeah so like that happens and then they
like mention oliver and like the three
of them and she's like well oliver left
last night like wait what she's like
yeah like he said he needed some space
and he left last night
so like it like completely destroys the
mood kills the vibe she goes to her room
and then leo was like oh i'm going to go
talk to edie and then when he gets
outside her door he hears her like
leaving a voicemail for oliver being
like hey oliver like call me i want to
talk
and so then leo's like you need to
figure out what the hell you want girl
like
you need to figure it out
which i respect yeah
so
switch to barclay again
and he's walking to class and suddenly
he hears like edie shouting behind him
and she's like did leo not mention that
like you're supposed to be walking me to
class so i'm not alone he's like [ __ ] no
he didn't i'm sorry so they're walking
um and like he asks edie if like her
parents are happy that she's at carnegie
university and she's like they're not
but i had to step up like d was all dad
had and he's like no like i'm sure you
wouldn't think that and like she cuts
them off and just like you don't know
anything like don't
like don't count me yeah like don't tell
me about my family dynamics and
barclay's like well you're not the only
one who's been through [ __ ] like you're
like starting to get in this fight about
like clearly there's underlying stuff
there and then a random female student
is like
ulrich or whatever his name is
because we don't know how to pronounce
it um
and
so he's like oh [ __ ] this girl's a crush
on me she can't take a hint so he like
goes to turn to edie to be like don't
leave me alone with her but edie's
already bounced
and this girl is like oh like i can't
wait for everything you're gonna teach
us in class today wink wink yeah and
he's like my name's professor barclay to
you is like really trying to set this
boundary with her and she can't take a
hint
so he goes and gets to his classroom but
then he's like
where did edie go we're supposed to be
keeping eyes on her
i
can't ensure that she's safe so he sits
down at his desk and he's like i'll pull
up her schedule
on like the admin portal for the college
that he's access to as a professor so he
sits down at his desk to do so
edie is under his desk
of course she is
fondling his [ __ ] of course she is
the look on my husband's face he's both
laughing and nodding along
which is my favorite part yeah so she's
fondling his [ __ ] under the desk and
like they're like trying to stay quiet
so then barclay's like pop quiz
everybody
um
yeah he does have a pop quiz well he
sure does
and he's like hope you just did your
reading last night because y'all are
teaching the class today so the first
like super brown-noser in the class he
calls up and they like start lecturing
and teaching
and then
barclay's like no you guys try again go
home and read the book we're ending
class early you're all terrible yes um
so my exact notes say decided in class
finish blow job doesn't lock door strips
edie on his desk she gets head too
good for her right but then when they go
to leave leo is outside of like the
classroom door and he is
pissed
and he's like oh you'll [ __ ] everyone
but me
to edie
and edie's like just because i'm
attracted to you doesn't give you the
right to talk to me like that like damn
straight no sir and leo gets super
pissed and like storms off
um
and then
why what happens i don't know chelsea
neither do i
you [ __ ] figure it out dude i'm all
the way in now
i don't know edie and barclay talk after
they
both performed
fellatio
on each other
it's
it's not
it's not never mind it's not
everybody it's not hannah i'm a couple
of glasses of wine at this point we're
trying the best we can today
well i'm not here to complete education
about the difference between fellatio
and canelo i know i said so i said they
both got fellatio and i was like that's
not the word and hopefully we can move
past this
but we can't we know i said the wrong
word
they both get head okay
they sure both of them receive oral
is there yeah and then they discuss it
later
yes and they kind of like they talk a
little bit about d they talk about the
nights a little bit and like barclay has
one of those moments where he's like
okay it's like what what is everyone's
motivator here in being a part of this
group also everyone i apologize that i
like said they both got fellatio that's
not true as i said it i was like this is
wrong and i hope we can avoid it and
then we did it and now i'm just really
fixated on it um back to edie so that's
where we're at in life back to you edie
back to edie
so
all of our text edie and address to meet
him at and oliver had rented a house not
far from campus because he was like
i'm not gonna slum it in the dorms any
longer than i need so i'm gonna rent
this place off campus
and then convince edie to move into it
with me
so that way we can like not live in
dorms
that was his initial motivation i that
did happen earlier on in the book i
think it actually he rented it before
they even got there whatever
she goes to the house to talk to oliver
about everything when she gets there
oliver has kidnapped keegan
of course he has yes um
he's a crazy stalker yeah he just wants
you to have everything she wants in life
is something wrong with that hannah
yes
[Laughter]
people should not have everything that
they want
they shouldn't but sometimes
you just might find
what you need
i'm so sorry
i do feel like
we're both
multiple glasses of wine in and in my
mind that was a an excellent harmony
you're like we're gonna kill this
we are gonna sing our asses off here and
when i listen to that on the playback i
will
probably change my mind at least you
didn't say fellatio
so we are doing great today
um yes
oliver has kidnapped keegan they started
interrogating him we find out keegan
really did love delilah i know i kind of
gave that spoiler earlier
um
he did love delilah and he keeps warning
edie to leave and he's like you aren't
safe you need to leave talk to your dad
you need to leave
and then tells edie that dee had a
stalker
and this not oliver
had a stalker who was the one who sent
her that card that was like i've
memorized your body
um
and the
card that said i memorize your body was
delivered with flowers that were wrapped
in
um not just like normal cellophane or
something that flowers normally come in
it was wrapped in a gossip magazine that
pictured that like featured pictures of
dee in a bikini from a family vacation
yes oh um
also then suddenly keegan passes out i
still really have no idea what the [ __ ]
happens here he was just like i'm done
here it's like yeah he got himself
really worked up and just like
passed out and so then oliver's like
okay royal servants come take him away
and there's the servants just have a
fleet of [ __ ] mini coopers to do
oliver's bidding mini coopers well
they're british
yeah and then so we couldn't do a like a
a land rover or an aston martin it's a
mini cooper because we're british
well the fleet of servant cars are mini
coopers why would all of the servants
have aston martins hannah
okay
this is the biggest plot hole in the
whole book
the mini cooper it is what i'm stuck on
anyway
so then while they're there ollie does
tell like when edie's like what is this
place ollie's like i rented the house
for us
um and then ollie and edie kind of start
processing like who could the stalker be
then like they're like could it be
barclay could it be leo like
so i'm like [ __ ] we really can't trust
them
um
we are now back to leo
and
the
team has been called to like the knights
building um or the night's house for
another trial when they get to the door
there's like a fledgling outside who's
like no pledge is only only
edie and oliver are allowed to go inside
for this one like barclay and leo have
to stay out and leo
right well and leo and barclay are like
nope
you guys said we had to stay with her
and this is our church and that's what
we're [ __ ] doing so kick us out of
the room if you need but we are going in
there with her
so
they all go in and leo's cousin vincent
is in the room and this trial is the
favor
trial
um where you have to complete a favor
for someone with no questions asked and
edie and oliver are told that they have
to get the paternity test
for
this random woman um within 24 hours
just edie and oliver the others can't
help um barclay gets super mad and loses
his [ __ ] like punches a wall like no one
really understands why
okay we haven't we don't know those
details and then they're like all right
let's go let's all go back to the door
and like plan together and then they're
like well we we have to do it alone and
they're like we can all plan together
you just have to implement it alone
so
switch to oliver they're putting the
plan into motion at this point the plan
is to go
to the ob gyn's office and evie is going
to pretend to
have accidentally left a tampon in for
over a week and having toxic
toxic shock syndrome
this is their plan
that
she was outside crying in pain oliver
was just passing as a good samaritan
brings her into this clinic asking them
for help
so then while the nurses are helping
edie oliver's like because people like
he's
well he's not in line for the throne
he's recognizable enough that like
people know him as royalty okay and so
he's like oh like can is there someplace
i can like hide so like paparazzi won't
see that i brought a woman in because
like that would not go well for me like
oh my gosh of course they like let him
hide in the records room
natural naturally so he like takes a
picture of the file
um
they are figu they like have obviously
been successful and then she's like they
just like kind of run out it's a very
unresolved situation
and then as they're driving back they're
holding hands
and edie's just like everything's just
like been so wild and like i just want
to like feel
like myself
so they [ __ ] in the driver's seat
in the driver's seat
yeah they [ __ ] in the driver's seat
that's exactly what my note said
okay yeah while the car is in motion or
are they apart no they pull over hannah
they're safe drivers yeah and i don't
think this was a mini cooper i think
that's only for the servants there was
more leg room in the actual vehicle
well that's good
yes my glasses were starting to hurt my
face so i took them off but i can't
really see without them so i just
now i'm questioning my life choices but
i already
took them all do you want me to read you
your notes no i don't that'll be like
when you were like i'm gonna say the
word wolf for you
because you can't pronounce it and that
didn't get us very far so
this is just where we're at in life um
but then like while they're boning
like i guess
before oliver sexual fantasy and sense
of sexual fantasy they've never kissed
they've only ever kissed during that
like sex scene where it was his sexual
fantasy okay
so then like she's kind of like kissing
up his neck and his body and like
oliver's really creating this narrative
in his head that like
if she kisses me on the mouth that means
like our relationship is progressing
um okay
yeah he's like we're turning a corner in
our relationship if we kiss on the mouth
i mean does she
yeah
they do kiss on the mouth but that also
like wasn't a conversation they were
having during sex
that was just like in his head he's like
this will be
the difference this is the moment
yes
so
they meet
we're oh sorry switch back to edie now
perspective they go um to meet up with
vincent they give him the paternity test
and then
he like sees the results and he's like
you guys did really well i'll let the
elders know that you did really well and
then like looks at vincent looks at leo
and says you need to check in with
gramps and he's kind of like what does
he need he's not going to grandpa about
cause i thought he didn't like his
grandpa what's going on and like kind of
gets a little suspicious
um
and so she asks leo about it and is like
what's that about and leah's like bold
to ask when you have your own secrets i
saw
a mini cooper dropping off a very
stunned keegan back to his dorm so like
don't come at me asking for secrets when
you clearly have your own
then eg's like well i have unfinished
business with keegan then leo and
barclay are both like well like what
because they're like jealous [ __ ]
even though like nothing is really
defined everyone's just like having that
like slightly possessive thing they're
like like what like i thought like you
guys hated each other
and then edi's like no it actually turns
like my sister's relationship with him
had changed and
like there's more to the story and
i have more details i want to get from
him and like then leo pushes back
and it's like i don't believe it and
then edie's like you wouldn't understand
and leo just like
gets quiet and walks off like doesn't
say a [ __ ] word just like leaves like
there's like building argument
where she's like you wouldn't understand
i lost my sister [ __ ] you
and he just like gets quiet and leaves
and you're like oh are you okay liam i
don't think so i don't think he is
because
barclay then tells edie
that leo was the one who found his dad
so like
it's kind of like a
if anyone gets it it probably is leo
yeah
so edie feels super shitty goes to her
room tells him not to follow she just
wants some time for herself she goes
through all of these boxes
and then it's like
i i need to talk to my dad about all
this i need answers he hasn't taken my
phone calls he hasn't been taking my
text like i need to know what happens so
she decides she's going to go confront
her dad and then takes off without
telling anyone of course she does so
yeah leo's gone and then because she
wanted to be alone both barclay and
oliver like went to bed and so she just
kind of like sneaks out turns off the
alarm turns it back on when she's gone
and then goes to her dad's house or her
parents house rather
and but like on the way there she's
like kind of like thinking through the
suspects and like who could have done
and who could have called her sister
and like her parents have not been
questioning the same people or any
people and they've just been sad and so
then like on this drive edie's like
maybe my dad doesn't suspect anyone
because it actually was an
accident
like girl you made it this far in to
just suddenly ask yourself this question
now that's my thought at least
um but then like she's kind of out of it
because she's kind of processing through
this so then like
a car honks behind her and they flash
their lights and she's like oh i was
only going like 30 and a 50. so she
speeds up like they stay right on her
ass and she's like [ __ ] i'm being
followed so like
she swerves and turns off and manages to
lose them like we're never actually sure
if she was being followed okay
um she gets to her parents house
it's very late she confronts her dad and
is like dad like why have you been
avoiding my text and like tells them
like i want to talk to you about d i
want to talk about the knights i want to
talk about the stalker
like
i heard dee was fighting on the deck
with someone the night she died like do
you even know who that was
and
her dad's like not giving her any
answers then suddenly the door behind
edie like opens and closes
and her dad like sees it happen then
like grabs her wrist from across the
table it's like be strong i can't help
you
and oh dear yes
so a cloaked elder so she can't see who
it is but a cloaked knight
greets edie's dad but she like
recognizes it like can't quite place the
voice like it sounds kind of familiar
and then the voice is like eden aster do
you accept the will of the knights
um and then like her dad begs like don't
hurt her and then they put a bag over
her head again
but this time like her eyes get really
heavy and she passes out and she goes to
sleep drugged in some way yep
then we have got to be close to the
point we are very close to the end oh my
god um she wakes up
swinging upside down over a body of
water we've done that before remember
roxy never mind from ten of vipers she
also woke up swinging upside down
from a meat hook anyway
this one wasn't a meat hook this one was
a boat hook oh okay yes
um
and there's a ton of robed knights under
where she is hanging and she sees leo is
there as well uh-oh um and then she
realizes they're on a dock and that it's
like a rope and pulley to bring boats
out of the water that she's hanging
upside down over okay um
but she's also like
she can tell just from the way her
body's feeling knowing how cold the
water is she's like if i hit the water
i'm gonna like go into shock and like i
won't be able to swim
and so she starts having a panic attack
and
someone's like what the [ __ ] is
happening to her and like panic attack
right like
yeah so she's just like hanging upside
down from a boat hook having a panic
attack that's not ideal no
then another voice is like bring them
out
and they've got ollie as well oh no
right sweet ollie um sweet stalker ollie
sweet stock ally then he sees her
hanging and is like super pissed and is
like screaming like get her the [ __ ]
down and they do not care
another voice unmoved they are very
unmoved another voice is in like she
looks so much like her sister ass and
all
so like everyone's just kind of like
objectifying her as she's hanging there
she cries for help she's like leo help
me leo help me leo doesn't answer leo
doesn't respond and everyone's like oh
did she think he was on her side like
does she not know he's on our side and
all of this
and so then she's like well i guess i
have to defend my spin for myself and i
can't trust anyone so she just like
shuts down gets quiet it's like i'm
gonna hang here just kind of goes into
like survival mode
and then they even say they're like
you've been hanging here for hours and
the water below you is so cold like
you'll seize and you'll die just like
your sister did nice
and then someone else says
um she got it easier than her sister but
i have to admit they both make pretty
little dead girls
lovely and then the rope drops her in
and she's like
feels her body season she's like nothing
i can do about it night's won at least
i'll get to cd again soon
end of book
okay
[Laughter]
i mean
when does the next one come out i think
like june uh
yeah i really because here's the thing i
think when i read this one i was like oh
barclay's gonna like something's gonna
happen at the start of the next book the
story is gonna continue because i
definitely felt like it was being set up
but it was kind it did throw me off and
it was kind of disconcerting when i read
hush hush as the prequel after i read
this one
knowing d dies
right and so like
the endings felt almost identical where
like i mean obviously the situations
that led them there were very different
but the ending of like
i'm gone i'm gone i'm nothing or
something like that it's like how
hush-hush ends so i was like and the
series is like the pretty little dead
girl series so i'm like oh
is she going to make it or are they just
going to kill every girl they're like no
that doesn't make great books no one
wants to read when the love interest
dies every book right
well and i wonder too if maybe
maybe the opening of the next book is
like
i don't know something like saving her
is leo's
thing to become a whole night or
something like maybe maybe something is
gonna happen
well i doubt leo saving her would help
him become a full knight because the
knights did kill her sister
right
but like well maybe that's the whole
thing they don't really want him to
become a knight so yeah like this is
your this is your task is to save this
girl that's definitely dead right and
like because leo and ollie
are both there we don't know if barclay
was there and like that final scene he's
not mentioned in that capacity so like
he could have been a hooded person who
didn't do anything but like there is a
chance all three of them are there
like i wouldn't be surprised if it's
like a
all three of them are there and then
they all like they all end up banding
together to disassemble the
knights or some [ __ ] like that right um
but i am really curious i don't know
where it's gonna go because she's
definitely not afraid
to go there you know what i mean right
right
well i guess we're gonna find out in
june hopefully
yeah
and um
i am also curious what happens with
keegan because it doesn't feel like his
character is done yet yeah
but i still don't understand why he
randomly passed out
he just like got emotionally worked up
and passed out so here's the question
that that i have that is burning okay
what
how many mini coopers do you rate this
book
um so
i'm gonna have to clarify that question
because there's a wide variety of mini
coopers
there's the
like oh gee all right so fun fact do you
remember the movie the italian job yeah
so the italian job be like oh gee
mini cooper don't look at my husband
like this what the [ __ ]
i'm sorry i just it was like a
commiserating is she really going on
this tangent that is the look y'all just
gave me i needed to share the moment
with someone
okay so fun fact jesus christ the
original mini cooper that charlie sarah
drives at the beginning of italian job
they had to specially
like outfit for her because it's not
made for like normal sized people so
like trying so hard not to look at vans
you're allowed to look at vans it was
just a commiserating look where i'm like
okay
it would have been commiserating you're
such an [ __ ] i love you but you're
such an [ __ ]
um but no like there's like the newer
mini coopers there's there's the
four-door series
so i have questions okay you know which
mini okay we're gonna go with four-door
because i feel like if we're
transporting unconscious individuals
then we would need a four-door yes for
the sake of accessibility that is the
easiest for sure yeah um
if we're going with a four-door mini
cooper
i'm
gonna give it like
three out of six mini coopers
okay
um because
like ian moore isn't afraid to fully
send it on a book
but i'm also super [ __ ] intrigued
like because i read the book and was
like oh [ __ ] i need to know what happens
and was pissed when i realized the
sequel wasn't out yet and i think from
that vantage point like yes it is like
very over the top in a lot of ways
in a lot of ways let's be completely
honest we're like what the hell is even
happening here but
it was intriguing enough that you wanted
to keep reading it okay and that you
wanted to know what happened it was
intriguing enough that i finished this
one and then i was like oh the only
other book that she has out is the
prequel done and i picked up the prequel
and read it okay okay i think i can get
on board with that so for that we're
gonna have three out of six four-door
mini coopers okay yes okay any other
questions about the book um
no
like
i think it really is one of those weird
ones where i'm like
none of the dudes are great like there's
not like nah
i'm like okay so like leo is a brash
[ __ ] who's not afraid to piss on
people
barclay clearly has like secrets and is
older and like we don't fully know so we
can't fully trust him
and oliver has no boundaries and is like
loki a stalker yeah
but i'm like rooting for all of them
but i don't like any of them
okay
girl you know how this tension goes in
some of these books i do yeah where
you're like oh this is this is not great
but i can't look away yeah well and like
you know we can be rooting for them and
hoping that
there is
some character development eventually in
the series where we will like them
yeah like i feel like if we can get some
answers in the second book like
because i don't i think like the way
they were setting leo up was he was he
was actually starting to like
have feelings and realize he was [ __ ]
up and was like
that's part of why when she when she was
like you would never understand and
he's gaining insight into all of this
100 and so i think
with how they were kind of moving some
of the character development i won't be
surprised if we get more of that in a
second book but i'm also not sure if
it's going to be like hell is the next
book going to be anne-marie and they're
going to kill her as well yeah yeah
because i'm like i could see it going
like female that was prominently
discussed yeah right so i'm like i could
see it going that way or i like i'm also
like is this going to be a duet is this
going to be a trilogy is this going to
be a quartet
honestly i don't my heart has it in it
for a quartet of this
um
duet would be preferred
i don't
i feel like with a trilogy there's
always one book
that's not as strong yeah yeah maybe two
books that aren't as strong
i guess we're gonna find out
yeah so stay tuned i guess future
chelsea and future hannah will review
whatever the next book in the pretty
little dead girls series is
yeah um my future hannah's gonna need a
lot of notice before the next book is
reviewed
yeah i'll just get another box of wine i
was gonna say
future hannah is gonna need to pre-game
that because what the [ __ ]
but i also feel like future hannah is
probably going to read this book anyway
yeah
you're like i'm gonna talk a lot of [ __ ]
but i am also gonna read this book i'm
very self-aware so yes
yeah i'm gonna read this trash and i'm
gonna be into it and then i'm gonna make
fun of it and that's the truth and
that's how we became friends
and that's how we formed the smug club
right
so y'all let us know your thoughts let
us know how many mini coopers you would
rate this book four door mini coopers um
if you are going to move into another
mini cooper type please let us know so
that way we can adjust for size
accordingly
that's what she said
and on that note we love you guys we
hope you have a great night bye all
right
next week on smack club what a title for
your debut i know
um and i just want to preface by saying
i
genuinely enjoyed this book i don't know
if it's actually any good but i did
actually really really enjoy it it had
some very funny moments i just i just
want to pause you
i don't know if it's any good but i did
enjoy it
i mean
we'll get to the actual review christian
eye of the beholder yeah i enjoyed it i
read this book while i was on vacation
which is relevant because i don't
normally drink very much
um however when i was outlining this
book
i was mostly intoxicated so we'll see
what happens
well that's it for this week's mud [ __ ]
we hope it was good for you
because it sure was great for us
if you're digging what we're doing it
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[Music]
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