Jethro Jones: Welcome to a decade.
Never to be forgotten.
I am just loving this project.
If you're new, the thing we do here is we are talking to the same people,
uh, every year for the next 10 years.
There's a companion 10 year journal that you can sign up for and join@adntbf.com.
Uh, or add a decade never to be forgotten.com.
Click the journal button up on the top and you can join that.
And the goal here is hearkening back to Elder Stevenson's 2024 October
general conference talk where he talked about the next 10 years being
a decade never to be forgotten.
And here's what I'm learning.
Uh, everybody has a life.
They go through trials and we get to look back and we see this
perfect line of how God made things happen, just how they needed to.
And it's amazing.
And what I'm trying to do with this is share that line as it's happening.
There's going to be trials, there's going to be frustration.
There's going to be sadness.
There's going to be disappointment over the next 10 years with each of
the people that we're talking to and.
I wanna capture that in the moment so that you can say, here's what's happening.
I'm frustrated.
It's not what I want.
But later we can see that it's what God had in store.
So that's the whole purpose here.
Uh, thank you so much for joining us today.
We have Becky Sampson.
Becky, welcome to a decade, never to be Forgotten.
So excited to have you here.
Becky Sampson: I thank you so much for considering me for this, this,
it, it really is an honor because I am all for what you're doing and
being able, I'm a huge documenter.
Like I, and, and if we don't document, we can't, I always say, um, don't
ever look back unless you're looking back to see how far you've come.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Oh, I like that.
Becky Sampson: Yeah.
Because we go back to shame ourselves, right.
And I'm like, no, no, no.
It all had a purpose.
It
Yeah.
fits together,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Good.
Well, uh, when I met you, uh, last week and we started talking, I, I just knew
that you would be a great person to have on here because you've already had
so many amazing experiences, and I can tell that you're someone who's going to
have amazing experiences going forward.
And despite your trials, you are still strong in your testimony of Christ,
and that is the important thing.
Yeah.
And so, um.
The, so let's just start with this.
Uh, what brought you to where you are now?
And, you know, you can tell whatever parts of the story you think are
important right now, and we've got the next 10 years together so we
can, we can bring up something.
Becky Sampson: me.
Jethro Jones: Yeah, that's right.
So, 10 years we're committed to this.
Where do you wanna start?
What do you wanna start talking about here?
Becky Sampson: Oh, you know, I, you know, it's funny, I always ask that
question to people when I, because I've done podcasting and interviewing and
radio, TV for the last 15 years, and love that question because it, it really
you back to what caused me to be in this very moment today, like in 2025.
Right?
So what created, um, you know, so I grew up in a family, um, of five.
So my dad was from Richfield in, in the Richfield, um, Utah area.
My mom was from Salt Lake, um, but they ended up in California where
my dad was a professor and he taught accounting, but his number one
love was to start a summer camp.
kids in southern Utah here.
I actually, I'm back in the Richfield area now.
Funny story.
But, um, but he started the summer camp for every summer of our lives.
We would come out to, um, a place called Bik Mill, Utah, just outside
of, um, capital Reef National Park.
Well, I was the fourth child down of five, and when I came out, my
mom said, man, I had one leg out.
And you were out the door like you were, was, I was ready to, to conquer the world.
And, um, and that really was a defining moment for our family
because I think I came out with more energy than anybody else.
Um, and I, and many times they didn't know how to handle that level of
energy and, um, gusto so to speak.
Jethro Jones: Ah,
Becky Sampson: So,
Jethro Jones: I like that.
Becky Sampson: I'm, I've never used that word.
I guess it just came to me.
But, but Gusto and I was a very, very outgoing, child.
I was very social.
My mom was always saying to me, she goes, I don't know how you do it.
But within two minutes of talking to any stranger out there, you know all
of their background, you know who they are, you know, their family and
every, I just have been a talker and a communicator from a very young age.
then there was about seven or eight years old.
As I've done a lot of internal work in my life, I can kind of see that was when
my turning point was in my life where I felt like I had to kind of more restrain
myself because, of certain things that happened in my life, and I know it sounds
kind of strange to some people that this would be something that, affected me.
But I had an older brother, not my oldest brother, but my second oldest
brother, and he was a basketball star.
The star of the family, like everybody wanted to be in his life.
And at a young age, I think I looked up to him and wanted to be like him.
I wanted to be liked by him.
I wanted to be accepted by hi like him.
And many times he would say to me, he's like, Becky, why is the sky blue?
Go away.
We don't want you here.
And, I come from a really good family, just so you know.
at a young age, I started internalizing that, that I needed to be quiet.
I needed to, hold back.
I needed to not express myself.
And that I wasn't acceptable.
Another defining moment for me was I also struggled with staying still, right?
And a lot of people talk about this now because we, we talk so openly about it.
in school I was so afraid to look stupid that when I took tests, I would bubble
in the, the little, you know how it used to be like a, B, C, DE, F or whatever,
and you put your little pencil and you go A, C, D, F, and I, instead of
reading and then comprehending what I was reading, I would just bubble it all in.
and then they came to me one day and said, I had a reading disability.
And I was like, oh, they don't know anything.
Like, I'm not that dumb.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And, and I had a hard time reading out loud and I would, um,
fumble up words and things like that.
And next thing I know, in second grade, they pulled me outta second
grade and took me into a private, um, a special reading class.
And at first my mom said that I did really well with that.
Like I, she goes, you really liked it.
But then all of a sudden, one day in my own little mind as a seven
and 8-year-old, whatever I was, she, she said, it was like overnight that
I decided, wait a minute, hold on.
They think I'm stupid.
And so I really internalized that processes that I'm stupid.
And if I'm stupid not as a 7-year-old doesn't think about all this.
But after all these years of, you know, doing therapy and
everything, I realized as a little child, I, I decided I was stupid.
I was going to now not apply myself.
And so then by not applying myself in school and not doing my homework
and not being perfect at it, um, I ended up getting D's and F's and I
barely graduated from high school with a 1.7, which is a D average.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: Um, and I spent most of my life feeling absolutely stupid.
But also what happened to me at that point was, is that I, um, I ended
up turning to food and I started hiding, stealing, eating binging.
That was kind of my,
uh.
My go-to because there wasn't anything else I could do.
Um, so over the years growing up at the summer camp, I couldn't understand why
I would start relationships and everyone would like me at first, but I had a
really hard time holding relationships.
and after interviewing, which is interesting 'cause I, I did
a podcast many years ago and interviewed my BA best friend
Mm-hmm.
and she goes, Becky, I had no idea that you struggled.
She goes, 'cause you were the most outgoing, like loving, accepting person.
But internally, my self-esteem took a massive hit.
And, um, it took me many years.
And then of course I gained weight and then I felt even
less accepted by other people.
And then, um, in all kinds of things.
And then when, when high school came, I, I at one point wanted to out and I
told my parents, I said, I'm, I'm done.
I'm done with this.
I didn't realize the cycle I was doing, which was not applying myself
getting the d's, then it was giving me the evidence that I was stupid.
Jethro Jones: So I want to stop there for just a second because there's.
Uh, this is so fascinating to me because I, I, I have a somewhat similar story,
uh, and then I went into education.
I often say that if my high school teachers knew that I was an educator,
they would roll over in their graves because there's no way that they would
believe that I would ever go down that path based on how I was in high school.
And, and what's so interesting is that you, you said something really
key there that you, you would fail, um, to, for whatever reason and not
apply yourself, and then you'd see that evidence and then it would become
this self-fulfilling prophecy, right?
That, that you would, you would say, well, look, I obviously, I am dumb because I'm
getting these bad grades, even though, uh, it, what I say now is that all grades are
made up and they don't even mean anything.
And so what's really fascinating is that that is, that is probably the
worst possible measure to say that you're dumb is a grade in school.
What it's really saying is that you're not playing the game
that school wants you to play.
And, and once I personally realized that, uh.
I figured out that everything in life is a game
Becky Sampson: Mm-hmm.
Jethro Jones: and I just need to play that game and understand
the rules of that game.
And when I'm not successful at it, it's because I don't understand the
rules of that game and I'm not, uh, I'm not applying myself to that game in
the way that it's meant to be played.
Becky Sampson: and isn't that so true?
I mean, I now, I mean now all these years later, right?
I'm 51.
understand that game.
understand life a lot more.
And I remember even one of my professors, uh, I attended BYU Hawaii just a few
years ago, and he did say that, he says, you've got to understand the
rules of the game in life and in business in order for you to play it.
And, and
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: it.
I think it's also, we all are at different stages.
As a teenager or as a 7-year-old, I didn't understand those things.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: what's interesting is working with people for all
these years later, always go back to 'em and say, look, you did the
best that you could at that time with the information that you had.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And, and same thing with your parents, right?
Jethro Jones: Yep.
Becky Sampson: mom, my mom was so diligent in trying to teach me that I
was beautiful and that I was smart and that I was, but nothing was getting
into my head like, are you kidding me?
Like, I, there's no way I remember being 15 around, I, I just remembered
this, but being around 15 years old, I actually ran away from home.
Um, I went to my girlfriend's house for a couple hours, you
know, and uh, and came back.
But I really did run away because eventually my dad
and I were very, very close.
Um, with summer camp.
I would always go when I was very, very young with him to all these camp fairs.
And so we would be on road trips together.
I became very close to him and my dad was also bipolar.
And, uh, what I didn't realize is, is that I was kind of his little pet,
so to speak, and I was the one going, yeah, dad dream and do all these
amazing things and, know, and my mom was trying to keep the family together.
So
my father, I believe unintentionally created this barrier between me and
the rest of my family because they're like, Becky, nobody understands you.
I'm the only one that understands you.
And so I was then feeling like everyone's out to get me.
Everyone's out to attack me.
And so my mom and I had a really bad relationship and when I was 15, I mean, I
wrote her a letter, told her I hated her.
she was never my mother, and wish she would die.
And
Jethro Jones: Wow.
Becky Sampson: and I think she kept a letter.
My brother
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: ever bring it up.
But, and, and there was a good, it does end, end well, but at, at
the time my mom, I was just like, dad, I can't do this anymore.
And so I ran away to Utah and stayed for, um, three months with my cousin
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: family.
Went to high school there until I realized then at that point my parents
were kind of talking divorced and I felt like I needed to come back.
Um, but I never was close to my mom because I just felt so
misunderstood by everybody in my life.
I was trying to figure out who I was.
I remember at around 12 years older or so, I would go out in our summer
camp and I would write these.
messages to myself, and then I would bury them next to this rock and I'd bury them
and I'd listen to music and I'd do this whole sit, you know, this whole thing.
I'd come back the next year not knowing that, you know, disintegration.
I didn't, I was like,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And I, you know, it disappeared.
So I, I was doing a lot of self-development and
meditation and reflection.
As a child.
I've always been that way, trying to figure out connecting the
dots trying to figure out myself, trying to figure out the world.
Um, and the minute I graduated from high school, I, I literally,
I was like outta there.
I was like, as soon as I could get outta my house, I was like, I'm outta
here on my own, have my own job.
I was a very hard worker.
I have always been a really hard worker.
And, um, I got into an apartment by myself with, well, with a girlfriend
of mine, um, and started my two jobs.
And I had always at a young age decided I was gonna serve a mission.
when I was young, women didn't serve missions.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Yep.
That's big change in culture for the church.
Becky Sampson: yeah.
And so I, but I remember as a young age, I wanted serve remission, but it was getting
closer and closer to that time where it's like, okay, Becky, you gotta be serious.
Are you really gonna do this?
Like, and, and of course, you know, throughout my, I had struggled.
With weight and all of that stuff, um, back and forth and back and forth.
But when I was preparing for my mission, my dad ended up, um, having an episode
of depression, which was not uncommon, but this time it was even worse 'cause
he was at college and he broke down in class and he was trying to make the
decision of whether or not he was gonna go to the, to the Golden Gate Bridge and
jump off or if he was gonna drive home.
And he came home and our family went into a tizzy.
My brother had just left for his mission.
little brother and I had another four months, I think, four or five
months before I went on my mission.
And so my dad ended up in a mental hospital.
And gosh, I haven't talked about this for a really long time.
So,
Jethro Jones: Well, here we are.
Becky Sampson: Here we go.
And, and I, I mean, we knew my dad had a mental illness, but I didn't understand
it because he was my hero and he was
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: to a lot of kids at our camp.
He was a second dad, he was a grandfather.
I mean, still to this day, I had a conversation the other day from somebody
that, I mean, they just idolized my dad.
So that's how I saw him.
seeing him in a weak moment was really hard for me.
Jethro Jones: Well, and, and here's another thing that
is, that is so fascinating.
We, we often think of our parents as, you know, amazing or terrible or whatever.
But the reality is, is especially once we get older and realize that they were
just struggling through life just like we are, and like everybody before them,
and everybody after them, we're all going to go through these struggles.
And, and it's so fascinating because we think, well, especially when we're young,
this didn't happen in my household.
We didn't have these struggles.
Or if we did, then it's like we, we downplay it.
Like it's not a big deal.
And then we realize that everybody goes through these things and, and they're not
all exactly the same, but they are all the same in a different perspective, which
is that we all have weaknesses and we all have challenges and trials in our life.
And that's the whole point of our life.
And when you're young, it's easy to think, you know, my parents are perfect,
or my parents are great, or whatever.
But then you don't, and then you become an adult yourself and you're like, oh
my goodness, they were dealing with this and I was such a terrible kid.
What is wrong with me?
I was horrible.
You know?
Becky Sampson: it's, yeah, the cycle of life, right?
I mean, and I do think, I do think that we.
We do e even now as adults, we have a different perspective, but the more
we experience, the more the broader and the bigger the perspective gets.
Um, I'm a very different person now than I was back then.
I, I just, I, and, and oftentimes when you're doing therapy and you're going
through that process, you go, okay, what would you tell your 7-year-old
girl, you know, what would you tell her?
Knowing where you are now, know, you're doing a great job, you know, and it's
okay that your brother rejected you it's okay, and he probably was protecting you.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: He was probably protecting you from this older group
of kids you took it a certain way.
And my mom and I have talked so much about this is that, you know,
Becky, it wasn't that you grew.
And I was like, oh, they're so abusive and they're so, and I look back and I'm
like, really grew up with an amazing life.
I mean, I grew up
Jethro Jones: yeah.
Becky Sampson: and then.
Every summer of my life, I got to go out to, southern Utah and meet people from all
over the world, sleep under every star in the universe and, and have all these crazy
adventures and almost die several times.
I mean, it's
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: I mean, then I'd go back and I'd ask my best friend,
I'm like, what'd you do for summer?
She's like, uh, swimming.
I'm like, uh, I, I had, I have an incredible, incredible life.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And, but at that time I didn't see that and I didn't
see the struggle that my mom had of instability of my dad doing these
crazy ideas and buying things.
And, and she was like just doing her best to keep the family together.
And, um, it wasn't really until my dad was hospitalized where I really kind
of started seeing writing on the wall.
And I remember going to him and they said that we couldn't bring anything breakable.
And it took my sister and I, my sister above me and my
little brother are both blind.
They're legally blind.
They were born that way.
Jethro Jones: Wow.
Becky Sampson: was driving my sister and I up to the hospital up in Menlo
Park, I think it was California.
And, um, we walked in and it was just so, it was sad for me to
see my dad, um, in such a frail
place.
And um, for him to basically say, don't judge me, know.
And my dad really, really, we always looked at him.
He was always strong.
He was always, um, the one that you go to, to fix things and, adventure
and fun and all of that stuff.
And here he was, um, really contemplating his life.
And so several months after that, we had to deal with the reality that my dad had
spent quite a bit of money my mom knowing.
And, and we had all this credit card debt and, and everything.
And my sister and I would go to work during the day and we'd come home.
And of course, um, uh, what's funny is my mom, this is before computers and
all that stuff, when we were young, she wanted us to learn how to type.
And so because my brother and sister are blind, you know, we'd have this
thing where she, she built this little block over our keyboard.
a
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: wasn't even a keyboard, it was a typewriter.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: so we, and so my sister would, would, um, go and
type things into the computer, which is like the, the first Mac, you
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: little tiny 'cause we lived in the Bay Area.
uh, she would type things into the computer as I read them.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: And um, and we did express spreadsheets with
all this debt that we had.
we, people would be flying in.
And my dad was just devastated that people knew what was
going on, the internal battle.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And here I was preparing to go on a mission.
I. And, um, and that about five months later I get my
mission call to Idaho Pocatello.
And I was
Jethro Jones: Oh, wow.
Becky Sampson: I was like, uh, Idaho.
Like I was hoping to go to France maybe 'cause I studied
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: you know, in high school, parlay, bufon.
Um, but I ended up in going to par.
And, and there's a real reason why I believe the Lord and many reasons.
And actually it goes back to something that you said this morning
in your intro is, is that why we stayed connected to the church?
And, and, and I'll circle back to that, I got my mission to Idaho Pocatello.
And come to find out that's where my parents, their first year of marriage was.
And then they were kind of trying to, 'cause I was crying and I, I
still to this day have not found the video that my dad took that day.
I opened my mission call.
'cause I literally was like, are you kidding me?
Uh, and so they kind of had to talk me into going.
anyway, I, I ended up going, uh, my mom would write me every single day,
I'm sorry, every week of the mission.
my dad, every once in a while I'd get a, a, from him.
But our mission president was very, very unconventional.
He was a convert from Oklahoma City and he was a bible bacher.
it was unusual.
You usually only get Mother's Day and I think Christmas to call home.
But I got to call home on Father's Day year.
And it was 1996.
I had only a couple months left on my mission, and I called home
and talked to my dad, of course.
And then right after that I was struggling with some, some companions.
he wrote me this beautiful letter and he just said, Becky,
I've always believed in you.
He's like, out of all my kids, you are a fighter.
And he goes, I worry least about you, but, but don't tell
your other siblings, you know?
Jethro Jones: Yeah, classic dad.
Move.
Becky Sampson: Yeah.
Total classic dad move.
Right?
um, and he says, I believe in you.
I know who you are.
Don't let anybody dim.
My dad had been inactive the last six years of, of, uh,
before I went on my mission.
And, um, and so it was, it was precious what he was writing to me.
And then he said to me, he says, I know I'm not supposed to be trunky, but I'm
really trunky for you to come home.
I miss our conversations and I miss everything.
Well, a week before my mission ended, um, I got a call
and, um,
and my, I got a call actually from my cousin.
I think she's my cousin, my cousin or aunt, I can't remember.
But I've never met her before in my life.
I was on my P day, uh, the week before I was supposed to be released.
And there was a message on my voicemail to call her.
And she lived, I actually went to dinner with, or yeah, dinner with
her in Pocatello when I surfed there.
And I had already given back my calling card and everything 'cause we were
finishing our mission and I, and we get this message and I said to my companion,
I said, I, there's something not right.
I don't know what's going on.
I said, can I use your calling card?
And so I called her back and started talking for a few minutes and she's
like, Hey Becky, I gotta call you back.
'cause she realized I didn't know anything.
And um, and she called me back and she told me that my dad had passed away.
He had died in a car accident
Jethro Jones: Oh.
Becky Sampson: the day after camp ended.
And, um, I just fell to the ground.
'cause my dad was like my hero.
He was,
he was the, it's funny, I don't, I don't usually cry about my dad, but, you know,
um, ' cause it's actually a good story.
He's, he's been amazing to father me from the other side of the veil.
But that day was, was a real defining moment in my life.
And, uh, of course they put me on a plane.
The next day back to Utah.
My mom had flown to Utah.
We were gonna have the funeral here in southern Utah.
And, um, I remember meeting with the state president and he's like, you
better take that tag off right now.
I'm gonna wrestle you to the crowd because I just wasn't ready, you know?
Um, and then we of course had the funeral and amazing people
came from all over the world.
And I, I was de I was determined that I was gonna see my dad and,
um, being a missionary and, and it didn't happen and I was discouraged.
But I will tell you, for the next year after that, I had so many
dreams of my dad coming back to me just saying, you know what, Becky,
you know, you'll be just fine.
And, that was the beginning of my mother and I repairing our relationship.
And I said to her at one point, I said, I think dad needed to leave in order
for you and I to have a relationship.
And she and I are so we're best friends.
She called me the other day and she said, Becky, there's only a couple of people.
There's only, I've only had two best friends in my life, and one's
my sister and the other one's you.
And she wants me to speak at her funeral.
'cause she's like, you've gotta tell this story, this miraculous story.
Um, but so, you know, as we, you know, we've talked about things
that happened for a reason.
I am a hundred percent convinced that my dad went when he was supposed to go.
And although would I love to have him in my life, would I love to
have him be able to call him and go on another road trip with him.
I have felt him so close to me and guiding me 'cause he was such
an entrepreneur and I am too.
And I think like him, I inspire people like him.
I, it was always my dream, um, to take the best parts of my dad and,
and continue that in, in life.
Jethro Jones: Uh, yeah, Becky, that that comment.
Take the best parts of our parents and continue that in our life is the
dream of, I believe every parent out there, like every parent knows that
it is, that they are not perfect.
And my dad, uh, he's, he told me when I was like 15 or 16, he said something
along the lines of, um, that he didn't have everything figured out yet.
Becky Sampson: Hmm mm.
Jethro Jones: I remember thinking, man, what an idiot.
How can you not have things figured out yet when you're,
mid forties, late forties, early fifties, however old he was?
I don't remember exactly, but I remember thinking, man, that really stinks.
And now here I am, 43 years old and I am so confused about so many things.
And, and I remember thinking, man, if I don't have my life figured out
by then, it's gonna be embarrassing.
But the difference is, is like the one thing my dad was totally sure
about and that I am totally sure about now is my faith in Jesus Christ.
Becky Sampson: Absolutely.
Jethro Jones: that is the, the guiding principle.
And I don't worry about that aspect of it because I know that he is my savior and
he can lead me back to Heavenly Father.
And the thing that's so amazing about that is that my dad had a lot of problems, also
struggled with bipolar disorder in that.
But if I could take the best things from him and pass those on and, and
emulate those things, then that would be a great honor to him as my dad.
And same with my mom who's still alive like your mom.
And like, those are the things, those are the things I want to pass on to my
kids, the great things that my parents did, and, just leave the negative things
behind because they weren't perfect.
None of them.
Becky Sampson: are how we learn from, right?
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: I, I think that I call those parental paydays,
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: um, is when a parent sees the full circle the realization
where we wake up and go, oh my gosh.
Like you were trying to treat, my mom was trying to teach me structure.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: what?
She goes, if I could have taught you structure Becky earlier in your life, like
I was trying to do, but my dad was count.
He's like, Hey, forget about the structure.
Let's go play.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And, and so he wasn't working in conjunction with my mom.
and so, and now that I have the structure in my life, I embrace
it and my mom's like, yes, this
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: trying to tell you.
You were smart, you
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: beautiful.
You are like, and so it's a parental payday for her, for her.
And it is, I love that you said that, that it, it is honoring our parents.
Um, you know, my mom's had a real hard time with camp, you know, our summer
camp because, and I finally said to her a couple years ago, I said, you
know what, mom, the reason why I think you have a hard time with camp
is because that was the other wife.
Jethro Jones: Mm.
Becky Sampson: My
Jethro Jones: Yep.
Becky Sampson: camp because he was the hero there.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: He wasn't a hero at home.
You were trying to hold things together while he went out and changed the world
for all these youth around the world.
And it's
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: and so, and so.
It's, it's coming back to her and helping her realize that her sacrifice that
she made has changed so many people's lives and there's a ripple effect.
And so did it serve a purpose?
Yes.
Was it difficult?
Yes.
it some days that you wanna just give up?
Yes.
And, and, and one thing I loved about my mom, I still love about my mom is,
is that even though I was a screaming teenager, she would still come into my
bedroom and she would still pray with me.
I remember as a teenager, and I tell every parent that I, that I talk to, or a coach
or any of this is that even though your kids are giving you resistance, doing it.
Because I remember her leaving my room one, one night after we
had knelt by my bed and prayed.
And she, I remember thinking to myself, why am I so mean to her?
But you know what, thinking about it now is I was set up to, to be mean to her.
dad was like, she doesn't understand you.
Don't be vulnerable with her.
You know, all.
And so I, I, I was under.
Influence.
And I don't think my dad did it on purpose.
I think it was just he was trying to navigate through everything
and keeping me tight to him.
'cause I was his, I was his cheerleader.
You
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And, and going back to something that you also mentioned is,
I believe one of the main reasons, and I'm even more convinced of it now, with
everything we've gone through in the last several years, um, with people leaving
the church, I'm even more convinced that one of the reasons why God sent me to
Idaho Pocatello mission was the majority of my mission, was working with inactives
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: overage youth and seeing what it does to a family
when they don't have the gospel.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: I am the first one to tell anybody and everybody in the
world that the goss, the gospel's true.
That people in the church are not.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: And, I remember I knocked on a door one day, uh, and this guy
was, I think he was in his seventies.
I mean, it's all relative now, right?
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: he was old, um, in his seventies.
And he was like, I've lived my whole life in the church and I'm just done.
And I said, really?
You're gonna go all of that time and then give up?
Like really?
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And I've also come to realize that
everybody's on their own journey.
It's not mine to judge
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: because that's between them and God.
Jethro Jones: Yep.
Well, and to that point, everybody is on their own journey and we, we, we
presume to know just because we know that something's right, that everybody
else should understand it the exact same way, and that's not the case at all.
And, and God understands that.
And so, and, and he understands where people need to be and what
their journey is back to him, and that it's their choice also.
Right.
That it's not our choice or even his choice.
That's the gift of agency that he's given us, that we get to choose
how we interact with him and, and he doesn't ever force us to do it.
And that's not his plan.
Yeah.
Becky Sampson: is the plan.
And so people that push agency someone and judgment is not the plan.
Jethro Jones: Yeah, exactly.
Becky Sampson: know, I, I work with two gals right now that I'm
accountability partners and we do videos back and forth one of them, I
mean, they're not LDS and I never, I never force my, my religion on anybody.
but a conversation came up this last week.
She goes, well, how do I address like my faith and like my followers?
And
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: higher power or do I call it universe or Yeah.
I said, honey, just be yourself.
Jethro Jones: Yeah, totally.
Becky Sampson: don't push your agenda, your religion, your
beliefs on anybody because that is not God's and Christ's way.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Well, and
Becky Sampson: and invite.
Jethro Jones: yeah, and you mentioned that your, your
mission president was a Bible ba
Becky Sampson: Oh,
Jethro Jones: and, and so another thing that is very popular right
now is, um, is fighting online about, you know, who believes what
and what's right and what's wrong.
And I never want to take that approach.
I don't ever want to get in those battles with people because they're not productive
and I'm not going to convince anyone.
So I don't try to convince anyone with what I'm doing.
I just share and then say, if you wanna learn more, then let's, let's talk.
I love having deep doctrinal discussions and debates, but never to, to convince
someone of something that I believe.
I, I just, I, I totally despise that What I want is to testify
and to proclaim and not to, uh, to fight or to have a, an argument.
I, I just wanna share what I believe and let you do what you will with it.
And that's, that's the approach that I've taken.
And, um, and, and I feel so much peace being able to do that.
Now, I mentioned that I was a, a educator, so I was in the public school system
and it was not appropriate for me.
To share my beliefs like that, uh, in that position.
And now that I'm not, I'm very grateful that I can be more myself
and share who I am, uh, more fully.
Becky Sampson: Right.
Jethro Jones: trying to figure out how to do that, uh, in the best way that
I can, that's authentic to myself, but also isn't like saying My way is
the only way, and if you don't agree with me, then we have nothing to do.
Becky Sampson: and I've had go, I've had to go on my own journey, my own faith
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: get to this point
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Me too.
Becky Sampson: I grew up in a, I mean, obviously we didn't have
as many LDS people in California.
and so we were, I mean, many times my friends in high school
would protect me from drinking.
I mean, I never got involved in any of that stuff.
But, you know, even if I was like, well, let me see the marijuana, you know, they
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: no, no, Becky, you're LDS, you're Mormon.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Yeah.
Becky Sampson: so they would protect me in that way.
Um, but I, and I've never really, but I've had my own faith moments and I believe
what grounded me was, my mission allowed me to serve and have compassion for these
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: who have been offended and left the church.
Jethro Jones: Yep.
Becky Sampson: But, you know, you read in the scriptures and you go, man, how many
of those guys were so against the church?
And then they came back and were like, the best missionaries.
And so who are you to say, or who am I to say that their
journey is not right or wrong.
I'm not playing God.
I can't play God.
And actually what's interesting is that.
The day that, so once I found out that my dad had passed away,
I immediately called my mom.
I said, why didn't you call me?
She's like, well, we didn't have your number.
I said, you did have my number.
I mean, so I started like really getting upset.
I'm like, why did I have to hear, but my dad passing away
from somebody I don't even know.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: then next thing I know, and my mission president was
just trying to out a bunch of stuff before he came down to meet with me.
But he came down to meet with me face to face and he says, Becky,
don't let this experience of your dad's death you to go inactive.
What are you talking about?
Why would that go in?
Why would I go inactive about that?
so it's interesting.
I, I've never really been one that has challenged the church until I've gotten
to some certain things in my life, and now I've gotten to this beautiful, peaceful
place going, look, people are not perfect.
I cannot hold people to including myself to this, this level of perfection
because that is not God's plan.
That is Satan's plan.
I refuse to be on his side and in my work, um, line of work, there's a lot
of public speakers and a lot of coaches who have straightaway the church and the
ones who are vocal about going to the temple and about staying active, I reach
out personally to them and say, thank you so much for continuing to just share
your personal beliefs and your life, because you never know who's watching,
especially when you're in the public eye.
And I've had people come up to me years later and say, Becky, I've been
watching you for years and I really respect what you're doing, how you're
serving people, you know your heart because I, I do the very best I can to
be as authentic and real as possible.
without throwing up on people.
I don't believe that that's the way to share, but when you share, it's
a different energy than when you are trying to convince somebody.
it's promotion that, and I don't know about you, but I'm one of those people.
You tell me what to do and I'm like.
Screw you.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: I, I, and I've learned through my processes and especially
through my divorces, that it's like, if you wanna influence me, you say,
Becky, you might wanna consider,
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: wanna consider what you're saying or you might wanna consider what
you're doing or you might wanna consider.
Then it's like, okay, great.
You're now giving me the agency and the space to step back and go.
I'm gonna consider that.
I might give you a little kickback at first, but just hang on.
Just like my husband last weekend when we went, um, hunting.
And he got me up at 4 45 in the morning in the freezing cold.
And I'm like, ah, but you know what?
Just hang in there.
Just I'll
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And eventually I was like, okay, this is fun.
You
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Becky Sampson: it's the same way with the gospel.
So I, it's um, I mean, kind of circling back to when I got back
from my mission, I, I, I didn't, my life had just completely, um, right?
And my mom, for the first time, I was sitting there on the phone trying to
register for my classes and for college.
And she says, Becky, 'cause I was going for business entrepreneurial stuff and it
had a lot of math classes and I, I'm, I didn't do well in high school that way,
even though I'm very smart that way.
I just didn't do well.
she says you might wanna consider she did back then actually say, you
might wanna go into graphic design.
And I was like, that's way too much fun.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: Like, that's, school's not supposed to be fun.
My
Jethro Jones: Interesting.
Becky Sampson: And, uh, sure enough, I did change my degree and do graphic
design, and it's been the best thing in the world, being an entrepreneur,
being able to do all my own branding and
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: and all my own stuff from what I learned 30 years ago.
and so I, I went off to college and went on my way and, and started,
you know, that whole journey of dating and, getting engaged and
then breaking that engagement off.
And, um, all while I've been up and down the scales, weight loss, you
know, I went on my mission 230 pounds, came home and lost 50 pounds and then
engaged, then broke off the engagement.
and I thought my life was over.
When that first engagement, uh, broke up, I literally felt
like I'm never gonna be loved.
And it took me a couple years until I'd gained all my weight back again.
And here I was in that regards and was rejected so many times by men
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: they would say, Becky, I love your conversation.
I love, know, talking to you and being friends with you, but I, I can't have a
relationship like the weight's an issue.
Jethro Jones: Hmm.
Becky Sampson: So that was just taking another hit that I've been dealing with my
whole life until I met, my first husband.
I. Who threw himself at me, literally.
Like, just, the minute we met, he just was like, oh my gosh, I love you.
I care about you.
I wanna be with you.
And I was like, I don't like you.
Like I, I,
Jethro Jones: The, the thing you've been praying for happens and now
you're like, eh, I am not interested.
Becky Sampson: I just wasn't attracted to him.
He was too much in my face.
Again, if you come at me like, like you tell me that I have to do
something, I will be like, oh, heck no.
Um, and, and so he was like after me for about a year and a half.
And then I went to an education week, um, talk on judging people.
And I thought, okay, I'm gonna get my little notebook out and do my evaluation.
I mean, Matt's not that bad of a guy, but, okay.
So I did all this stuff and the next thing I know, I come home
that night, I call him, and he was living back east at that time.
um, and I said to him, I said, I love you.
Two weeks later, I was on a plane to back east, and I said to my
mom, I said, I'm not, don't worry.
I'm not interested.
I'm just gonna kind of just see what happens here.
And then within two days we got engaged.
Two and a half months later, we got married.
Jethro Jones: Fast.
Becky Sampson: Yeah, and I was 29 years old and that was definitely
something I, I think I had gotten to the point where I had been rejected by
so many men, that, and, and he just, he didn't care that I was 230 pounds.
He just thought I walked on water.
He just thought,
Jethro Jones: Hmm.
Becky Sampson: but I didn't feel that way towards him.
And, but looking back now, and by the way, we've done a podcast
three years after our divorce.
Jethro Jones: Hmm.
Becky Sampson: a podcast, and I just had my husband now actually listen
to it for the first time the other day, um, we did an hour and a half
where we talked very openly, but from the get go there was abuse.
Not only physical abuse, but emotional abuse.
And I don't hide the fact that I was abusive to him.
And
Jethro Jones: Hmm.
Becky Sampson: that you usually hear from women
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: because, um, I didn't know what I didn't know.
I knew that it was a really unhealthy relationship.
Within a couple of weeks, I got pregnant, um, and we didn't have insurance.
We didn't have, and, and ended up having an ectopic pregnancy, three
miscarriages the first year of our marriage and was in surgery.
Um, he, we were struggling financially.
We were communicating correctly.
Um, I was pushing him to the limits emotionally.
He would then get violent and hit me.
Um.
We were married for seven and a half years, went through a lot of fertility.
would have really good moments, but then we would cycle and it would get crazy.
Um, but here's the back to the cycle of what, when I was in junior high and, and
elementary school, I was tell myself that I was stupid, so I wouldn't apply myself.
And then I'd get bad grades and then it would reinforce
that idea that I was stupid.
I did the exact same thing with that first marriage.
I would push my husband emotionally till, till he broke.
Like I would like verbally attack him and emotionally attack him
and spend, you know, people say it's a narcissistic cycle.
I would like, it's all you and da dah, dah.
I mean, I was just pushing him away and pushing him away.
And really internally I was upset with myself for marrying
somebody I didn't love.
And then he was the recipient of that.
And that push him, push and push him, and then he would hit me and
then I'd go, see, you're abusive.
And it took us years for us to cycle back.
And when we did that interview, it's called Healing From Divorce.
I actually need to put it on my website so people can go to it.
But if you listen to that interview between him and I, we had both cycled all
the way through where we could talk openly the abuse and, and what we did to each
other because we didn't know any better.
And we cried together, we apologized.
We, we looked at the lessons that we learned from that marriage and he
was devastated when I walked away.
he thinks I walked away.
I literally had to get outta that cycle of abuse 'cause I
didn't feel safe, nor did he.
And he even admitted on this podcast that he's, I was afraid to be vulnerable
and own up to any of my stuff for fear that he would use it against me.
And he said, I would've, at that time, I would've.
so that's a very, very unusual experience that most couples don't get a chance
to, is to cycle back and process.
But he, I was so grateful that he was willing to do that.
And he had now been remarried at that time.
Um, I went through a lot of self-development.
I lost 130 pounds towards the end of our marriage, which he
changed the dynamics of things.
And when we did this interview, my girlfriend did the interview for us.
that was the first time I think he had seen me personally with all my weight off.
Jethro Jones: Hmm.
Becky Sampson: and when I lost all my weight, all of a sudden I started
getting all this attention from men.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: And I thought, oh my gosh, like, this is not fair.
I mean, it's not fair that I've been the same person Um, however, I was now
having men run after, at gas stations, running after the door to open it up for
me, you know, and now we're asking me on dates and were just enamored by me.
And, and what I didn't realize is I was this beautiful woman all along.
I just didn't know it.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
And, and how interesting that the, the, the weight loss helps you
see your own beauty that is innate in you as a divine daughter of
God that every single woman has.
And there's something that prevents women from seeing their beauty and
men from seeing their masculinity and, and beauty as well, that some
weakness that prevents us from seeing ourselves how God sees us, which is as
beautiful, amazing creations of his.
And, and that is a tragedy for the whole human race.
Becky Sampson: Well,
Jethro Jones: And yet it's also part of the plan.
Becky Sampson: Yeah.
Let, let's take it back to Satan and as easy and simple as, basic as Satan's
plan versus God's plan in Christ.
Right.
is that, so for me it was a food addiction.
I use food as my drug.
I, I was introduced to a 12 step program for food addiction, totally free.
It's a worldwide organization.
I can't name it 'cause they won't let me.
Publicly, but you can go look at it.
Um, and I got introduced and I, I mean, it changed everything for me.
Once I got off the sugar and the flour, I realized that was Satan's way of keeping
me from seeing what God saw in me.
I'm not saying that that's true for everybody, but for me it was.
I mean, within a week or two of me being on this program, we have a
very specific food program and it doesn't include sugar and flour.
All of a sudden I was like, oh my gosh, this.
Um, I'll tell that story real quick because my girlfriend and I, she's,
she's now 86, she's four foot 11 Filipino, just a one of my best friends.
were walking in the mall in Orum during winter.
I was married to my first husband at the time and I had tried Weight Watchers, I've
done all that other stuff, and she had turned to me and she goes, Becky, I've I,
I've had four cookies and I'm going crazy.
I need a detox.
And I'm thinking four cookies.
Like, that's it.
you kidding me?
Like maybe two bags.
And then I would think to myself about getting a detox.
And she goes, you know what, this is a Thursday morning.
um, she goes, tomorrow there's a conference down in Vegas for this.
12 step program.
And I, I was 130 pounds overweight at the time, you know, I'm five foot seven, so
you, I mean, anyway, you can just imagine.
we were walking down the mall and she goes, we need to go.
I need to go.
You wanna come with me?
Do you wanna support me?
Come with me.
she's an enroller.
She, I was like, what?
Like, I've gotta work.
And I was a manager at an apartment complex, a very large
one in Provo for many years.
And, uh, she goes, Becky, you're the boss.
Call it off, let's go.
And I'm like, no, you know?
And so we kept walking, kept walking.
I went home, didn't even think anything about it.
The next day go walking again and she's like, Becky, we
gotta leave like in an hour.
If we're gonna go, we're gonna go.
I'm like, what?
Are you serious?
So I went home, I walked in my apartment, I looked at my
husband and I said, I don't know.
Pat wants me to go to this thing.
I don't even have the money for it.
It's like 55 bucks or whatever.
She's gonna pay for it.
I have no idea where we're gonna stay.
And, uh, but she's picking me up.
I'm gonna go to work and tell him I'm gonna take the day off.
And we did.
We took off and we headed towards Vegas, which is a five hour drive.
We get down there, we got there a little bit late.
And so we were registering and there was a lady at the front of the room
and she was telling my story, and I was like, I, I remember stopping
myself from writing the registration.
And I looked up at her and she was talking about when she would babysit
kids when she was a kid, she cared more about the food in the house than
the kids that she was caring for.
I was like, what?
I mean, I had never heard anybody even mention that out
loud like else felt that way.
'cause every time I got asked to babysit, I'm like, Ooh, I wonder
what kind of food they have.
'cause in my family it was all hidden.
You know?
I had to go searching and finding, know, every time that you babysit
they're like, Hey, help yourself to anything that you want.
I'm like, are
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: Like, 'cause all these much cheese and crackers and candy
and everything that you have in there.
And then I feel really embarrassed 'cause I'm like, oh, they're never
gonna invite me back, you know?
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: I, she stopped me in my tracks and I looked into this
room of about 300 people sitting there listening to her talk.
And I thought to myself, what the heck is this?
Like, who are all these people and who, what are they doing?
And uh, it only took a couple more people standing up and telling
their stories for me to realize.
I'm like, okay, I've been able to lose weight a lot, but I've
never been able to keep it off.
And these people had kept it off for 10, 15, 20 years.
And I was like, I, it only took me a couple hours for
me to turn to my girlfriend.
I said, I don't know what this is, but I, I need to do it.
And she's like, no, no, no.
Becky, you'll know when you're ready.
I'm like, I'm compulsive.
Let's go.
Like, let's, let's do it right now.
And so I found the one lady in the room who had lost over 200 pounds and
I was like, alright, I'm, I'm going straight to her to see if she can
sponsor me 'cause you have to have a sponsor in order to do this program.
And so I went right up to her and I said, okay, I'm gonna be a
really hard case 'cause I'm really.
I mean, I've been up and down this scale so many times and been on every diet
and Becky, that's not how this works.
It's about learning how to love and accept yourself and it's doing all the internal
work that's caused you to go to the food.
And I was like, what?
Anyway, long story short I got on the program, it wasn't a perfect journey and
uh, we didn't have any meetings in Utah.
Uh, my girlfriend and I, this the 86-year-old now, uh, Filipino, her and
she came to me that day and she goes, we need to start a meeting in, in Utah.
And we did.
And it ended up going to eight meetings, ended up 150 people
in Utah, huge organization.
And I ended up losing the 130 pounds and down to a size two.
I actually got really tiny and uh, but it changed the
dynamics with my first husband.
Um, and like I said, it changed the way that I saw myself and I ended
up having to do a lot of mirror work, intuitively sitting in front
of the mirror just going, who am I?
Like, and I, I'd sit and I'd hit my face like this in front of the mirror
and I'm like, this is just a meat suit.
It's not who I am.
It's what I am.
This body is, is a, is explains a journey I've been on.
And so.
really went inward in doing a lot of writing and a lot of, um,
searching to God to, bring my value place I, I wanted to know that I was valuable
at 266 pounds and I was also a valuable at 135 pounds, you know, and that is the
greatest lie that Satan wants us to think that the outward world gets to determine
our value on the inward in inside world.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Well, and, and to that point, the Satan will use anything that he can.
Becky Sampson: Anything.
Jethro Jones: To make us feel unworthy of God's love.
And, and understanding that, and knowing that anytime you feel unworthy of God's
love, that is Satan's, uh, uh, tactic.
And so anything that makes you feel that way is, is from Satan.
And you can very easily identify that every single time.
That doesn't mean that it's like actually easy to do it.
That is the simplicity of it.
Anything that makes you feel unworthy is Satan's tactic.
And so if that's the case, then you have to be able to, to see that and
say, oh, this is just Satan trying to get me down and turn again to Christ,
to the atonement to overcome that and to be able to have the strength
to continue on whatever that is.
And it doesn't matter 'cause it's anything and everything.
Mm-hmm.
It's.
Becky Sampson: And it's interesting because years after I got divorced
from my first husband, it, I would say it's probably only been about six
years, he came in and met with my mom.
'cause he needed to pick something up that I had found in my stuff.
And he sat down with her and he had this great insight.
'cause I will say my first husband was a very deep thinker.
I really appreciate that about him.
And he said to him, she goes, no, I've realized, you know, in the
church where it says, and in the scriptures it says, um, thou shall
not take the Lord's name in vain.
Well, one of the Lord's names is, I am.
And so when you say, I am stupid, I'm dumb, I'm ugly, I am not enough.
That's all.
Taking the Lord's name in vain because you are enough, are
smart enough, you are beautiful.
I don't care what your out outward appearance looks like or
what the world tells you or not.
You know, it's really important with what?
With the internal dialogue.
And when that, and I have, I still have my days.
I really do have my days where it's like, oh, I can't do this.
Why is it so easy for everybody else and not for me?
And, you know, why am I, I, I have my own self-doubt.
And then my husband now is so good at reminding me, Becky, Satan.
that's right.
Satan talk is getting to me and I need to say enough is enough
and I'm not allowed to do that.
But to take you back to, I, there's a story that I wanted to share too is that
day before I started my food program, my girlfriend and I went to the temple.
We did a session and I couldn't, I couldn't stop thinking about what
these people had talked about in this conference like, never again, no,
no sugar, no flour ever, ever, ever.
Like I just, no, no sugar.
No.
And I know, I know we should be concentrating on the temple ceremony.
And at the, I mean, thinking to myself get to the celestia
room, um, I said, really?
I can never have sugar again.
Like ever.
And she goes, Becky, just not today.
And I was like, oh, okay.
So I only have to do it for today because.
That's like someone telling me that my best friend, I
can't ever talk to him again.
You know what I mean?
I can't ever see them again.
but she says, just for today, and then almost immediately after that, the
Lord gave me this incredible vision.
And I don't know if you've been in the, the Vegas temple,
but it looks like a boat.
The celestial room.
It comes to a point, all of a sudden in my mind's eye, I could see and
hear this beep, beep, beep beep, this dump truck coming and coming
through the wall of the temple, of that celestial room and dump, dumping
trash from the floor to the ceiling.
I turned to my girlfriend and I said, what do you think would happen?
Literally would happen to the spirit right now if a dump truck came through
and dumped all this trash in here?
And she goes, the spirit would be gone.
in that second, and in that moment, the Lord taught me, Becky, that's
what you've been doing to your body.
You wonder why you haven't been able to feel and understand God's divinity that is
in you you've been defiling your temple.
And I was like, what?
Like that was such a defining moment for me, and I was, he's
like, you're opening up your gates and you're dumping all this trash.
And the spirit would be gone.
It just goes.
And, and then I started realizing, oh my gosh, how does Satan
take the people in the church?
'cause we don't typically drink.
I mean, there's people that drink and smoke and all of this stuff,
but I'm thinking, wow, how many relief society, cookbooks have been
around cookies and cakes and, and potatoes and all of this stuff.
And how many people in the temple are obese and can hardly even stand
long enough to serve or can't?
All of this stuff and how many obesity um, the church and speak to
the people because they wanted to know my story and my perspec perspective
on why they were having to turn away so many people to serve missions.
And I'm thinking, wow, Satan is tricky.
He is so tricky.
And what do we do in relief society when we have our lessons?
We turn and we pass around all this candy.
And I'm not saying that it's that it's everybody's problem.
Okay.
But it was my problem.
It was my addiction that kept me from hearing God.
And I'm telling you, within a couple weeks of being off that sugar,
I had a connection with God that I had never truly felt before.
And.
That is why I went crazy talking to me about 12 Step.
And I had Bishops going, Becky, stop talking about 12 Step.
I'm
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: do you understand?
12 Step is just the atonement.
Do you
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: I don't care what the addiction is, I don't have any judgment
to anybody with any addiction because all it is is an an avoidance of having to deal
with what's really going on in an emotion.
And it causes them to go to anger, to go to drugs, to alcohol, to pornography,
to whatever the addiction is.
Their brain works just like mine.
And when I got into recovery, I really started understanding what the atonement,
I understood what Ether 1227 is.
Bring your weakness to me, Becky, and when you bring your
weakness to me and surrender it to me, I will make you strong.
Now all of a sudden, sugar and flour didn't call out my name because I was
partnering with God in that journey.
Jethro Jones: Well, and you said something that your friend said, you
don't have to give it up forever, just today, and it doesn't have to.
Um, when you think about forever, then it becomes overwhelming and
like, oh, I can never do this again.
And the reality is with the atonement is there for us to be able to make mistakes
and not ruin everything because of that.
Becky Sampson: Right?
Jethro Jones: so it's not just about the addiction, but just
about anything that you're, that you're doing, just do it today.
Becky Sampson: Yeah.
Jethro Jones: if it, if you have to just do it for the next five minutes.
Becky Sampson: I, I cannot tell you honestly how impactful
that one concept was for me.
People go, well, how'd you lose 130 pounds?
It wasn't, I wasn't looking at it 130 pounds.
I was literally looking at one pound a day or one pound at a time, and one day at a
time, and sometimes one meal at a time.
And that is how I've had to apply that to all the other challenges
that I've had since that.
I mean, that was, gosh, I started that journey 15, 16 years ago, and I, I've
had way more challenging things and I've had to be like, okay, so just for
today, I'm gonna feel this emotion.
Even if, if people struggle and you having a dad that's bipolar, I don't
know if you're experiencing this too, but I'm really sensitive to my mental
health because I'm very aware that it's hereditary and I, I do not want to be,
um, I, I wanna protect that mental health.
And so that one day at a time and applying that to all aspects of life, that, and
Satan, I think will teach us, oh, look at this big boulder and look at this
huge thing that's going on in your life, and you're, you might as well give up.
Who cares?
Like just, and, and that he, he wants to pin us into a corner we do give up and,
and God's going, are you kidding me?
I'm right here.
you what you need, when you need it, you need it,
Jethro Jones: That that piece is, is so true.
He, he's.
Ready to give us exactly what we need, when we need it.
And, and he's waiting to give it to us.
And
Becky Sampson: to it.
Jethro Jones: Yes, exactly.
Because it could be sitting there right in front of us and us, and we
don't see it because we're not paying attention because we're not open to it.
And so he could have the answer right there in front of us and, and we are
avoiding it or ignoring it or whatever.
Becky Sampson: Well, that's because he values agency.
That's what we fought for in the preexistence.
And, and because he values that agency, he cannot give us what
we are unwilling to receive.
And so being open, it's just like, kind of back to what we were talking about before.
If you're gonna share the gospel, why are you trying to share the
gospel for somebody that's not open?
Like it, it doesn't.
Now, if they're open, and you can even ask them, are you open
to a different perspective?
Are you open to me sharing with you how, what my experience has been with Christ
or with God, or with the Temple, or with my testimony, or there's journey.
If you are a great, I'll share it.
If not, I'm okay.
I don't need agency.
You know, my mom's an artist and she.
I, I've been trying to get her to, to turn this into the church because she has
this huge chart that's like 15 feet long.
I mean, it's like she's put her testimony on this huge
chart of the plan of salvation.
And, and I can't tell you how many parts in that journey from pre-existence
all the way to Kingdom is all agency.
I mean, she writes it in red.
She, I mean, it's all over this chart.
Agency, agency, agency, you know, and we need to give that, and it's
the same thing with marriages.
I mean, I'm gonna say this in relationships and marriages because, um,
when you, when you get into relationship, when I get into
relationships, we are always a choice.
We're a choice.
Who we become, we are a choice.
How we treat each other, how we choose to see the other person.
Um, and, and that was one thing that really shifted my heart is after my first
divorce, I started dating all these guys that tell me these nightmare stories.
And, and I think they just, it was really important to me 'cause I didn't
create a safe space for my husband, that it was very intentional that when
I started dating, I would create these very safe spaces for these men to be men.
Because we were losing, we're losing the masculine part of men.
Women are becoming so masculine.
And I was too, I was very masculine in my first marriage.
And I actually went and learned how to dance my divorce because I needed
to lean into that femininity and lean into the masculinity, andrus it.
And so I started writing a book.
Um, well, there's several things that I started doing, um, in writing a book
called, um, love Like Lady, which was all the stuff that I learned from all
these men that I had met the things that they had wanted in relationships.
And a big one that came out of that was appreciation.
And, and I have, I can't even tell you how many men started
crying on the first dates.
And I said to him,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: if, if I have to coach you, I certainly can't date
you 'cause it's just, you know, I'll be your friend and whatever, but I
just, I, I, I can't have that anyway.
So I, I was actually single for eight years and dated a lot of
men and heard a lot of stories.
Um, did a lot of really good men.
And, and then eventually, and I, at that point I was doing a lot of radio, tv.
Um, I got into TV later on, but radio, because that was
my one avenue that I could go.
And I remember the first time I did my radio, I cried before, I don't know
about you, but when my girlfriend turned.
Asked me to host her show.
And it was a real radio show.
I went into the studio and everything and I'm like, what do I talk about?
And she was like, three, two.
And I'm just like, in tears.
I'm like, I have no idea what to talk about I have no idea who's listening.
And I told her, I'm like, well, do you know how many people are listening?
She goes, it doesn't matter, Becky, just talk.
And I was like, and so people were like, wow, you do radio and this is
before podcasts or, I'm like, yeah, I talked to a microphone for two hours.
It's pretty sexy.
So, um, and I have no idea like what's gonna happen with that.
But it got me into the public eye and started speaking
and doing coaching programs.
And a lot of people were coming to me for weight loss just because of my story.
But it was difficult for me to make money doing that because I did it
through a step program, which was free.
I even moved to Ireland and spent a year there.
I'd never been outta the country.
but I realized I worked with, um, it took me three years to realize
that they were crooks and they were taking people and they were using
my good name and my good story and my goodwill, because people trust me
almost immediately when I meet them.
That's just who they are.
That's who I am, I should say.
Um, they needed that.
order for that business to go.
But it, it also taught me a lot about life in, it opened my eyes
to be not as trusting of people.
Um, and I hate to say that, but it's, that's when I started going, okay, I need
to start vetting people like in my life.
I'm not just gonna open the door and let anybody in.
Um, but I came back from that a little bit more, um, focused on
how do I serve and help people?
And one of the things that came to my mind today when you were talking about
the 10 years, was I truly believe that every single one of us has a purpose.
And a, mean, God.
God sees our strengths and he sees our weaknesses, and he sees the
people that he wants us to serve.
And I oftentimes have my coaching friends call me when they're in the
middle of their disaster, and they're just like, Becky, why is this happening?
Why?
And I'm, and I am a real, real true believer every single thing that you go
through is happening for you, not to you.
And when it's happening for you, then what's the lesson?
Jethro Jones: Yep.
Yeah, I, I, this, this piece is, is so valuable and we gotta
take a second to talk about it because if, if you think that.
That these things are happening for any reason other than for
you, then it is devastating
Becky Sampson: Absolutely
Jethro Jones: because if, if you think that it's because of
something you've done, you've done, then you're, you're gonna have
guilt, uh, and shame around that.
If you think that it's because of something somebody else has done,
then you're gonna be a victim.
But if you are like, Hey, this is to prepare me for whatever God has in store
for me, then it is empowering to go through trials and it is hopeful to go
through trials and it totally changes the game because it, it makes it so that you
are seeking and looking for the blessings in God's hand in those little things
instead of thinking that they are, somehow there's this weird, like, fate thing
that happens that is you have no control over, you are given these opportunities
for your profit and learning, and
Becky Sampson: or
Jethro Jones: that's amazing.
Becky Sampson: Or
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: like
Jethro Jones: Okay.
Talk about that
Becky Sampson: so what I'm saying is, is that you, God allows us to experience
these things to learn and to grow or.
We can choose not to grow through them.
Jethro Jones: exactly.
Becky Sampson: I'm saying.
They're there for you if you want to learn and grow through it, or you'll stay stuck.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: of the things that just came to me too, a story,
um, after my husband and I, my first husband, we had done that
interview, remember that three years
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: we did the interview.
He, he came by my apartment for some reason, I can't remember.
And, um, or maybe it was before that, I can't remember.
Anyway, he came to me and, um, and we had a wonderful interaction.
And, and I turned, I was, I used to have a porch swing on
my condo where we used to live.
one time I was listening to a song called Wicked.
Have you ever heard that song?
Wicked?
Um, for Good.
Jethro Jones: No, I don't think I have.
Becky Sampson: got, you gotta, like, I, I, I've heard that song before
many, many times, but for some reason that day I heard every single word.
And basically the song means meaning.
Look, we came into each other's life for a reason and a season,
and I may never see you again.
However you left an impact in my life because I'm better because.
I met you.
That's the message I got.
I thought, oh my gosh, that's the reason why I went through all of
that craziness in my marriage.
And, um, and, and so then I started writing messages to him texting
him, saying, thank you so much.
And he was like, so confused.
He was like, why are you like, and I'm like, no, no, no, I get it.
I now get it.
That it was supposed to be because he really, that relationship, um, beat
the hell out of me, meaning the part of me that I needed to address the
part of me that that was, that was low self-esteem, that didn't understand
who my val, what my value was.
that hellish part out that was in me at that point, I was able to process because
he was instrumental in standing in that space as we went through this together.
And so did, I I I, at that point, and this is what I say to people coming
outta divorces is, or any difficult relationship is, is that you look
back, the, the sweet spot is when you can get to love acceptance, um, and
appreciation for that relationship, and then now you're ready to move on.
And that was, that was a really big moment for me.
Um, it took him a little bit longer to get there, then when we did our
interview, he's like, I got, I, I get it.
I get it.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: still, he goes, I'm still on the journey.
It doesn't, is a journey, not a destination.
That's a very cliche thing to say, but if you really, really understand that,
it's same thing with my weight loss.
Just because I hit my goal weight for the first time in my life.
I quit my job divorced all in the same month of July, 2010.
Jethro Jones: Wow.
Becky Sampson: I literally, I, I mean, I re I did a total reset, it was interesting
when, when I started struggling with my weight again, I'm like, oh, this
is a des this is not a destination.
Like I have to keep working at it.
I have to keep myself.
And so that's an important thing to think is that, you know, and when
it's really happening for you, then I like to do a lot of journaling.
I don't know about you, but I, I write, or I, I even use a lot of audio.
I'll do videos for myself, nobody else, but for me.
And I'll start just processing and going, Hey, what, what does that, you
know, what was that supposed to mean?
And, you know, what we talk about in the church about pondering, but Satan
likes to keep us really, really busy
Jethro Jones: Oh, a amen.
I You go ahead and say what you're gonna say, but I got a
lot to say about this right now.
Becky Sampson: well, we're gonna, we're gonna,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: look, we'll talk about it because, because if he
can keep us busy and, and when we go to the temple, we slow down.
When we go to nature, we slow down.
And so if, and, and this happens with families, with kids, with careers,
with everything like you and I, I, I mean, I'm so busy right now.
However, I have a beautiful husband now who, who says,
look, we gotta take a break.
We're unplugging for three days.
We're gonna,
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: like, okay.
Awesome.
yes, talk about that, uh, what your experiences in, in unplugging to
Jethro Jones: Well, it, so I'm listening to this amazing podcast
called The Ancient Tradition, which I suggest to everybody check out.
And it talks about the, that God revealed his truth to, uh, the ancients
long ago, like Adam and Eve and to other early ancient people in all
over the world and, and the, what she calls the stubborn bits of that
have persisted all throughout time.
Becky Sampson: Mm
Jethro Jones: And the thing that's really fascinating is that they understood
things that we still don't understand.
And the only way that they could understand them was spiritually because
they didn't have the math and the science and the technology to be able to tell.
And so things like how the stars worked and, and all that kind
of stuff, they understood what astrophysicists are just now.
Starting to get a, get a grasp on.
And, and it's so fascinating because they didn't have all the
technology and stuff that we have.
And I keep thinking there's, the world is telling me that I need to
do all these things to provide for my family and, and take care of them.
And what I really have to do is surrender and let God put those things
in my life that need to be there.
And, and that has taken a tremendous amount of faith.
And the thing that it really requires is the trust in him
that he's going to make it work.
And also taking time to step away from all the distractions and all
the things that are trying to get my attention and be still and just listen
to what he is trying to tell me.
And so I do these things.
I, I walk to the gym.
It's a mile from my house.
I walk there every morning and I exercise.
And many mornings I do what I call prayer walks.
Becky Sampson: Mm.
Jethro Jones: And so I'm, I'm praying as I'm walking and it is when I kneel to
pray before bed or, or in the morning or any other time, I. I'm doing it to bless
a meal or to get ready for something, and I rush through it, and I do not give
it the time and attention that it needs.
Uh, but when I do prayer walks, I, I know I've got the next 20 minutes to walk
that mile that I can just talk with God.
And, and
Becky Sampson: Love that.
Jethro Jones: taking that time away and letting everything just not, not
worry about it, is, is really powerful.
And, and I've been thinking a lot lately that I, I'm so busy and I'm trying
to do so much and I need to just calm down and relax and disconnect and not
be so, so hyperconnected all the time.
So I'm trying to not have my phone with me at all during parts of the day.
I'm trying to put my phone away earlier at night.
I'm trying to not be on social media and all these things that, that take me away.
I'm trying to read more and think deeper about things and, and
that pondering is so important.
And, and the key thing is, is that it's not just about pondering
as in just thinking randomly.
It's about being open to the revelation whenever it comes and
Becky Sampson: intentional.
Jethro Jones: yes.
Becky Sampson: the thing is, is that, and I, I, amen.
Okay.
Amen to what you've said.
The Lord cannot communicate with us unless we're silent.
Now, I shouldn't say that.
He, sometimes however, we get more inspiration when
we're silent and when we're
Jethro Jones: I, I'll say it this way, we, the Lord, can, can and is
communicating with us all the time.
Becky Sampson: true.
That's true,
Jethro Jones: We cannot hear him when we're not silent and still.
And so he is, he is constantly ready.
So let me share this brief thing.
I, I moved, I live in Spokane, Washington.
I moved here five years ago, um, almost to the day.
And I also graduated high school from here because I moved
outta my house at 15 or 16.
Uh, like you did.
I lived with my sister for the last two years of high school.
Also barely graduated high school.
So, so we have that in common also.
Yeah.
So, um, so I graduated from high school here and ever since I moved here, I have
had these dreams that I am, that I am back in school and I'm fighting against it like
I am back in high school again and again.
And, and this has been happening.
Uh, at least monthly for the last five years.
And these dreams are so vivid and so real there, there's
gotta be something else to it.
So literally on Monday morning, I woke up from another one of these dreams
and I was like, God, why am I still having these dreams and clear as day?
Uh, the, the lesson came, you are in a doctoral program.
You are supposed to be doing your doctoral program right now.
And this is for, it doesn't make any sense why I am doing a doctor right now.
It really doesn't.
Becky Sampson: Hmm.
Jethro Jones: And the Lord was so clear.
You, you are having these dreams because you are supposed
to be getting your doctorate.
So quit your complaining and whining about it and, and finish it because
I just finished all my coursework and I just have my dissertation left.
And let me tell you, it makes no sense why I'm in this program.
It does not help me professionally, at least that I can see.
And, and in that stillness of me just waking up and saying What's going on?
Becky Sampson: You asked the right question.
Jethro Jones: Yes.
And
Becky Sampson: You know, the interesting I, I've learned that too, is that,
and, and I have a friend of mine that I met many years ago that was so good
at asking God the right question.
I'm like, ah, can you make a book for me like
Jethro Jones: out.
Becky Sampson: that?
I can ask.
'cause you know, we, you ask the right question.
You're like, help me understand
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: I'm experiencing this.
What am I supposed to be learning?
How am I supposed to be growing?
And, and that's funny that you said that too, because after my dad died,
I was only a week left my mission.
But I, I had, can't even tell you how many times I dreamt about me going back
and having to finish my mission, like.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: It's like, what?
I mean, I was back in my mission.
I'm like, how do I explain this?
And I can't tell you how many dreams I've had.
I mean, I just told my husband today, or a couple days ago that I used
to dream for the last 15 years that I was back with my first husband.
And I had to explain to people why I was back with him.
I, I mean, so, so dreams.
You know, God does communicate to us in those dreams.
if we're not paying attention, that's what I, I guess that's my
point, is that you said we have to be still and being paying attention.
I'm definitely gonna do your, the, the prayer, rock prayer walks,
because is a time that, and I don't know, he talks to me in the shower.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: mean, it's, so, it's those times where you're like, you
just are totally, I don't know.
And then a thought comes in and goes, oh my gosh, even with the way that you
and I communicated or, or got connected because you interviewed somebody
you didn't know why you were doing
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: and then it might be a good fit for, for me and
the business that I'm doing now.
But it's like, he, you are right.
He's always communicating.
I call him God drops
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: because I'm like, okay, God, I know that was you.
know you, you created this communication or this connection, or whatever.
And I, I learned it the most.
Let me just kind of tell you a little bit more about my story and then you'll
see why I, I. feel like that's probably one of the greatest things and why a
lot of the prophets and the apostles are saying, we need to hear him.
need to hear him.
And in order to hear him, you know, he communicates differently with everybody.
However, it's a very personal relationship.
But when I, um, I, so I was single for eight years and, um, I had circled, I
was going for a trip down to Vegas again.
I guess.
That's funny.
Let's going to Vegas for a business trip.
And I happened to look up who I knew in St. George and I knew a friend of mine.
so I looked him up and he's like, Hey, yeah, we should go
dancing and blah, blah, blah.
And, and uh, it just so happened that I, um, he lived down there and he's like,
why don't you come stay at night and we'll go dancing and take you out and whatever.
And, um, we ended up, started dating, um, and shortly after we started
dating, um, he was much older than I was and we just had a lot of fun
and he, we ended up getting married, um, a year after we started dating.
Um, it was kind of an interesting journey because I had doubts
kind of all up against that time.
But we did end up getting married.
We went to, um, Hawaii on our honeymoon.
And I told him when we first got married, I said, look, um, this is my last rodeo.
I'm not doing this again.
You know, and he had been single for 20 years.
And we went to Hawaii.
We were there for a month and the very last day that we were in Hawaii, he
was a retired, retired police officer.
And we were at the Polynesian Culture Center and we were talking
to some missionaries, some senior missionaries, and they're like,
oh my gosh, you need to come here.
They're looking for security.
Come work with us at the PCC.
And I remember leaving that day going, what?
Like, we just got married like three weeks, four weeks before that,
and wanted us to move to Hawaii.
Um, and we came back, we thought about it and it was a couple more months.
And, and he was determined.
He's like, we're, we're moving to Hawaii like that.
We're gonna do this.
It's gonna be fun.
And, and I was like, wow, this is, you know, I was at the time doing
a lot of coaching and, and wanted to get my coaching program going.
And this was a total derail, right?
Like, I'm gonna go to Hawaii and I'm gonna, um, I knew two people on
the island, a gal that, that her dad used to be my bishop and her husband.
'cause I used to be their real estate agent in Utah.
And so I was in communication with them a lot and going, oh my gosh,
I think we might get this job.
And um, that was in July or June.
And they offered him the job in July or in, uh, sorry, December.
And gave him two weeks to go.
Get moved and I'm thinking, holy schmoley, uh, I, I said, why don't you go ahead
and then I'll stay behind and get everything ready and get a renter and get
the house all fixed up and everything.
And sure enough, he went, I went out once and then went out twice, I
guess, but I stayed behind for about three and a half months from the
minute we got married, this husband.
Um, and I was, I was at my goal weight and, but one of the things
that he said to me, look, if you gain weight, like that's a problem.
And you know, I had been a goal weight for a long time and he
obviously was attracted to that.
Um, but the minute we got married, he, he immediately told me that I needed
to get a boob job and that I needed to, alter, you know, get my hair needed to
be black, my nails to be done certain way, that I needed to work out my arms.
I needed to be more toned.
And I was like, uh, you know, so it was a difficult on, know, I saw
some problems on the honeymoon.
We had some issues and I thought, man, this is what it's
about when people get married.
And then, um, you know, they, they come home and get an, an alt.
I mean, that's where I was like, I am, I'm just not.
And I told him he had a dream, actually, speaking of dreams, he had
a dream once before we got married.
And actually I think it was before we even got engaged where I was in a fire.
A house and he was a police officer.
And so he had this dream that he was running into the house yelling at me
to get out of the house to save me.
And I was like, you don't tell me what to do.
what I said in the dream to him.
And I'm like, well, so do you not know that that's who I am?
You don't you, you just don't tell me what to do.
I mean, there's ways to guide me and, but I'm just one of those rebels.
um, it was, it was difficult that first couple months of our marriage.
But when he finally moved to Hawaii and I stayed behind to get everything
ready, I then got to Hawaii in April and our first dinner, I, he had told
me so many times, you to do a boob job.
I'll pay for it.
I'm like, I'm not putting a foreign object in my body.
I, I, no, I had worked so hard, actually, I had reversed every
single medical condition I had when I had lost all my weight.
And I, and I had done all kinds of research about that stuff and
um, and he was willing to pay it.
He was like, Hey, you know, I even met with my doctor and I
said, no, it's not right for me.
So the first day back on the island, to dinner and I said, just so you
know, I'm not gonna do that and I don't you ever bring it up again?
And I was just like, I'm not, no.
And I think that was when he first really, really realized that like.
Something wasn't right.
You know, it, it, he's just like, I can't control her.
So we went a couple more months.
Um, I ended up landing a TV show in Hawaii because I knew nobody.
And I went to a networking event and somebody said, Hey
Becky, you'd be great for tv.
There's a community TV show.
I said, sure, I'd love to do it.
That's gonna force me to get out in the community and get to
know people and interview them.
And I love that venue, venue.
And sure enough, I did it well in the process.
Um, part of him working for the Polynesian Culture Center gave us free education.
he said, why don't you go back and finish your education?
And I said, well, do you want me to continue looking
for a job or do you want me
make you know, or go go to school?
'cause we get it free.
And he says, well, I think it's more important that you get your schooling
done, so to make that your full-time job.
And I was like, okay.
So I, I enrolled, well four months after I had gotten to the island, um, we had been
in some therapy because things were kind of going, we were having a difficult time.
I don't see him changing here.
'cause like he's, he's not, marriage is in trouble.
And I was like, what the ocean?
And he worked at two o'clock in the afternoon and we.
Just gotten back and he wanted me to collect all these tax forms and
tax receipts for our tax forms.
he was wanting me to sign a fraudulent tax return.
And I knew it.
I mean, my dad was an accounting professor, like I'm not dumb.
And I, I said, that's not legal.
And he's like, well, you, we need to have you sign it because
it, it needs to be turned in.
And I said, well, I'm sorry I don't do that kind of stuff.
within 10 minutes, um, he turned to me and he says, we need to get divorced
and we need to get divorced fast.
And I was
Jethro Jones: Wow.
Becky Sampson: what?
Jethro Jones: After like a year.
Becky Sampson: This was just after a year of us being
Jethro Jones: Wow.
Becky Sampson: and only four months on the, on the island.
And so I was like, wow.
And, and I mean, so of course he goes to work, I make some phone
calls to find out what my rights are.
I'm like, what do I do?
You know, I'm on the island.
I, I don't know hardly anybody.
um, so the next day I sat him down before he went to work and I, and
we sat on the deck out on the, we, we lived right on the beach in an
apartment, we were on the deck.
And I said to him, I said, will you please help me understand, like, what, what is
it that you don't like about me or what?
That you don't what they have problem with.
And it was funny 'cause as he started telling me these
things, I said, wait a minute.
Hold on one second.
'cause I document everything.
So I'm like, I need to go get my notepad.
So I went and got my notebook, brought it back, and I started writing.
And I said, okay, so, so tell me what you have a problem with.
And so I'd write it down and he, and, and I'm like, okay, what else?
Like, I didn't respond.
And I know it was the spirit that was with me that day because what he was
saying was just bouncing off of me.
It wasn't like I wasn't taking it personally.
I just, I genuinely wanted to know what in the heck is wrong with me
that you don't wanna be married to me?
And so I'd write it down.
And one of the things that he said, and he said, the best thing he, he
could have ever said to me, he turned to me in all seriousness and said,
Becky, having a really hard time seeing the value that you bring to my life.
Jethro Jones: Wow.
Becky Sampson: And I know the spirit Then filled my heart and
said to him, here's the good news.
I know the value that I bring to your life, whether you choose to see
it or not, is none of my business.
Jethro Jones: Uh, and given your background and story, the things you've
said so far, that seems totally not characteristic of you to say that,
Becky Sampson: Right, exactly
Jethro Jones: yeah.
That's amazing.
Becky Sampson: God has this amazing way of
preparing
us for what we have, and I know that that's something that you talk about
is that prepared me for that moment.
He prepared me to go, Becky, you are a value.
Even though this man not see you as value, not mean you're not valuable.
You are a value.
Even though this man, obviously he made all this, I don't trust you.
You're not trustworthy, I'm like, no, he's not trustworthy, not.
All of these things were projections.
It wasn't.
Now, it doesn't mean that there's some not there.
There's some truth to some of that, but that was a defining moment for me.
I. Where I, I finally stood up for myself and it took another four
months, of me really just like, are you sure this is what you want?
Because this is the con consequences.
I even put it on a big board.
I said, look, we get a divorce.
This is what's gonna happen.
This is, alimony, even though it was a short marriage, there's still big board.
I said, look, we get divorced.
And I was like, are you kidding?
Well, stuff that needs to be taken.
He goes, I still want, until I went and had and, and got all the information
and went and filed for the divorce, but here's where God is amazing because
in January I was still holding hope.
I'm like, I said to him, I said, why don't you just stay for one more year, allow
me to graduate and get my schooling done?
I was genuine in asking him to do that.
Just stay one more year so we can do that.
He went off to work that day and the spirit whispered
to me, go check his email.
And I went and checked the email and sure enough, he had already bought a
couple days before that he had bought his plane ticket off the island.
And I decided personally that I would not bring it up to him because I
wanted to see if he was gonna be a man enough to tell me when he was leaving.
And um, sure enough, he didn't.
He never did.
And at that point I knew my marriage was over.
I
Jethro Jones: Wow.
Becky Sampson: he was scheming stuff on that backend.
um, I went to the courthouse within that week and started getting my papers.
It took me a couple months to fill 'em all out, but I went and did a lot of
research, went through all of this stuff.
And in May, in March, so that was January, in March, sixth to be exact,
I turned my paperwork in because I knew he was leaving in April,
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: And I turned the paperwork in.
And if you remember, in 2020, COVID was crazy.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: and they were closing all kinds of stuff.
And in Hawaii, they're a very liberal there.
And, um, and I mean, every day it was like day by day they were
shutting more and more things down he was trying to get off the island.
And so I, I knew that I needed the paperwork back order to serve him.
'cause if he left the island, I would not be able to serve him.
I don't know where he'd go.
I don't know where he is staying.
'cause we had rented out the house for a couple of years.
And so I go to the court, turn it in, don't hear anything.
Two weeks later, a business partner of mine called me and he said, he
says, Becky, um, you need to go back to the court and get them to
fill out that paperwork so that you can serve him before he leaves.
So you need to go back to them and let them know that you're
leaving and or that he's leaving.
So I go back, I turn the paperwork in and the lady's like, well,
you need to do an ex parte.
And I was like, what's an ex parte?
I don't know what I'm doing.
Like, and she's like, yeah, you need to fill out this ex parte,
'cause I was in seven full, it was like eight o'clock in the morning.
I must not have gone to school that day, by the way, until I was getting
Jethro Jones: While your life is falling apart.
Yeah.
Becky Sampson: at 46.
So anyway, I go down, I turn that stuff into the, and it's an hour and
15 minute drive down to the court.
And I'd usually just turn around and come back.
But for some reason, all know
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: I stuck around and I did some shopping.
'cause there's a Costco down there in a Walmart and everything.
And all of a sudden I get a call from my business partner.
He calls me at two o'clock in the afternoon and he says, Becky,
still around the courthouse?
And I
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: that's so funny that you asked that.
I said, yes, I am.
He says, you need to go back.
And I said, need it for work so that you can serve him.
I go back to the courthouse, I'm in the parking lot.
I make a phone call to the clerk's office 'cause it goes to the self-help
and then goes upstairs to the clerk, to
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: judge.
I talked to her and I said, look, here's signed and it will be down situation.
And she goes, give me
Jethro Jones: Wow.
Becky Sampson: and I'll have it the very next day.
Hey, when you work for God, God works for you.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And um,
Jethro Jones: So let me ask you a question, if I may.
Why was your business partner getting this insight and telling you and not you
hearing it yourself and acting on it?
What's your thought on that?
Becky Sampson: I
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: I was doing.
I mean, at that time I,
there, there's a lot more I could go into that.
Um, however I was, I was compromised.
I, I believe my safety was compromised.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: um, and so I, I and I, I didn't have any money.
I had hardly any money to my name.
I didn't know hardly anybody on the island.
And I, I and I, I didn't have any.
And people were worried about,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Well, yeah, and the thing that I'll add to that is God speaks to us, like
we said, and sometimes he needs to speak through other people, sometimes
through dreams, sometimes through vision, sometimes through whatever.
But the thing is that God is always looking out for us.
And so sometimes that is your business partner saying You,
this is what you need to do.
And, and that is God's method of communicating with us if we are
open to seeing it, which is what we were talking about before.
Right.
Becky Sampson: be able to recognize that.
And this is what I've learned about God over the years, and maybe you have
too, but it is this superpower, like when you understand that God is trying
to communicate to us all the time,
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: when we recognize when he does, and then give him credit for
it and say, God, I know that was you.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: that was you.
Even on the most minute thing to the, to the bigger things like that was, um,
he's like, oh, she's paying attention.
I'm gonna
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Becky Sampson: she's, and, and so it's, as I tuned my ear, and granted at those
beginning stages, I was in absolute panic.
Like and, and so it was, I finally did stomach, but as my divorce went on,
I mean that the airport when he flew, because they were canceling flights
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: And that was also another God drop because I was able to serve
him before he left instead of serving him before he stayed on the island.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: I, uh, and one of my biggest thing is, is the day that I
took him to the airport, he didn't know I was gonna be serving him.
I drove him down there.
Um, there's a picture of me with tears in my eyes because I knew how hard this was
gonna be for him and me, and I let him go.
He got served.
but my prayer to heavenly father when I left that airport was, please God,
keep my heart soft him and towards all other men that are in my life.
Because I didn't want this experience to make me bitter.
I wanted to become better.
And that, and I will tell you that was probably one of the most growth
promoting experiences of my life because I ended up in court for three
and a half years with him, 21 hearings.
I ended up subpoenaing him 21 times, multiple, um, felonies that he
Jethro Jones: Hmm.
Becky Sampson: and all while getting my degree in com
that he had.
Conflict
Jethro Jones: Crazy.
Becky Sampson: and peace building, we're going to if he was.
But back to what you talked about, those walks
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Yeah.
Becky Sampson: with God, were those two hours every morning
when I was ill on the beach.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: me learning to communicate with God through that process and
learning to hear him and to be silent and to, and I always say, you miss a
hundred percent of the sunrises that you don't get outta bed for because I
lived the, the west side of the island.
So the sun came right up in my window.
'cause I lived right on the beach and I would spend the first couple
hours in the, in the ocean in the
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: mornings.
that was my god time.
And I had this, this playlist, I call it the God playlist because it was, it
was like, and I'd put it on rotation.
And so like when I listened to that song, it was like the perfect song.
And God's like, for some reason it was always Jesus walking on the ocean.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: Like, I'm like, and here I am walking on the ocean,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: or the beach.
But um, but there were so many times, and I talked about this on another podcast the
other day, that there's just so many times where I. Would wake up in the morning
during my divorce, and I knew nothing.
I knew nothing about the court system when I started.
And God would go, Becky, you need to put this motion in.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: I would go, what, what?
What's that?
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: what motion?
And I'd have to go do all this research, Becky, contact this person, write up this
thing, uh, this memo for the, the judge.
Do this discovery, do this subpoena.
I mean, I didn't know what the heck I was doing.
And because I partnered with God, I really felt like, and I, I won
my case up against five attorneys.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: Um, it was all said and done, three and a half years, I
did end up with an attorney and he even took my case and was like, how
in the world, girl did you get all
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: back?
I think I told you about that the other day.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: And, um, and it was because I couldn't afford not to
get the information back and all I, all I wanted, okay, because some
people at this situation and go, Becky, all you cared about was money.
I'm like, it was never about the money.
The best thing he could have ever said is that I didn't have value and for
me to be able to stand up for myself.
In that court case for three and a half years to be able
to stand and go, I am a value.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: love what my attorney said when he first called me.
'cause I was trying to prove, you know what I did, you know?
And he says, Becky, I don't care if you sat on the couch eight bomb
bonds and gained a hundred pounds, you are still entitled to half of the
increase when you've gotten married.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: And I, and I said to him, I said, thank you so much not
making me prove my very existence.
Jethro Jones: Yeah, that, that piece is really, really powerful.
There's the legal part of it, which is, you're entitled to this because you got
married and, and that's how it goes.
But that means nothing compared to the spiritual value.
Of you understanding that you really do have value.
And, and to me that is just that, that is the God drop, that is
the, the spiritual nature of it.
And you having the openness and understanding and having the spirit
with you saying you are valuable at, at a point where everything in
the world was telling you that you weren't because your spouse was saying,
you're not adding value to my life.
And, and that is, that has got to be a very difficult thing to go
through, especially when you said, Hey, I'm not doing this again.
This is, we're committed.
Becky Sampson: I, I was a hundred percent committed.
And the,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: is, is that in that, with and, and my husband now,
I've, I'm married now for the third time and very happily married,
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: last time
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: but he was in the same situation I was in with his marriage.
Was is that when somebody, it takes two to get married, but it
only takes one to get divorced.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: I mean, I, I told him I would have, I, I did give him
everything that I had, like everything because that, this was my last one.
And so for me, I I, it was hard for me when he's like, no, I'm out, like
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: and I, and when I'm coaching with people and I have
a client that's not coachable, I, there's nothing I can do.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: the same thing happens with God.
God can't do for us what we're unwilling to allow him to do.
Jethro Jones: Yep.
Becky Sampson: so, but I was so open and here I was on an island.
I mean, I, one of the books I'd love to write, or a chapter at least, is
like living in paradise on pennies.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: I, I still cannot explain I stayed there for
five years with no real income.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And somehow God made it work.
And it was like, but the interesting thing is, is that it got to the point
where I was divorced in October 22.
That's October.
It got to the point where I
And everybody knew how
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: hard I had fought for this.
I just want a fair and equitable division.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: I wanted.
And I think he was terrified that I was gonna take him for everything.
And I'm like, I never had that intention.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: That was never my come from.
what he, you know, that's his story and all of that stuff.
I just wonder what was fair and equitable.
And finally there was a finality to that.
And all this time during the divorce, I had applied for 45 different
jobs and I, nobody hired me.
I could not get hired.
I did start a couple podcasts and got paid $10 an hour to
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: for BYU Hawaii.
'cause I was a student.
I was like,
Jethro Jones: Yeah,
Becky Sampson: me?
Jethro Jones: yeah.
Becky Sampson: $10 to $12.
And thing I could show the court about getting hired is because God
has somewhere else for you to be.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: And I was like, no, I wanna, I didn't ever
think I'd get married again.
I'm like, Nope.
I, I'm, I love Hawaii.
I love the people.
I, I, I had felt so much healing and serenity there.
The ocean was what healed me every day.
my little mermaid group that I swam with every day and community.
And she's, and, and so when that money hit the bank account, something happened
in me and I finally became willing.
I
Jethro Jones: Hmm.
Becky Sampson: God, my prayer to him was, please, if it's not here in Hawaii, send
me somewhere that I, you can use my skills and abilities to bless people's lives.
And five days later, I'm laying in bed on a Sunday morning and my, my landlord
had told me that I needed to move.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: they, they're friends of mine, they were friends of mine,
but they're like, you know what, we've gotta, and they didn't even
know that I got this final finalized.
Um, and I was, all of a sudden I looked over and I got this impression to look
on my phone and to get on this dating app that I hardly ever get on, which I swore
I'd never do again because I, I worked for a dating site doing all their podcasts.
And anyway, I happened to look over and I saw this one man from Sigar, Utah.
was like, cigar, like I know where cigarette is because
that's down by our summer camp.
Jethro Jones: But nobody else does.
Becky Sampson: Nobody else knows where cigarette is.
And so I swiped on him and he swiped back or, or something, and immediately like we
got connected I said, oh my gosh, I know where cigarette is like and everything.
I said, gimme your cell phone number because your cell phone,
I need to send you a picture.
And so I, he sent me a cell phone number.
I sent him a picture and he says, stop right there, Becky.
He's like, I know exactly where your property is.
I have driven by that place my entire life.
I said, well, guess what?
I've been through cigarette my entire life.
We jump on a call on the way down.
I was driving down that Sunday afternoon after church to meet with missionaries
'cause I was still trying to find a job.
And um, and on the way down there, I talked to him for the whole hour.
And all he talked about was his ex-wife.
He'd only been divorced for six weeks after 27 and a half year marriage.
And uh, and one of the things he asked me, actually, I don't
know if he's, he'll be okay.
of the things he asked me is he says, he says, Becky, do you think
I'm, do, do you think I'm cute?
I'm like, are you kidding me?
You, you're so ants.
I'm like, that's really a strange question to ask somebody you just met.
Um, but apparently he never got told that.
and um, so all I remember about that first conversation was that he.
That he was, I I, and I've dated and coached enough people to realize, look,
you know, if all you can talk about is your ex, you're not ready to date.
And um, of blew him off.
I was like, well, have a nice, it's nice to meet you and yes,
that's great and whatever.
But then he called me the next day and every day from that
point on for exactly 30 days, we talked at least six hours a day.
Jethro Jones: Wow.
Becky Sampson: And I flew home on Christmas day.
He went and met my mom before he met me.
'cause my mom was picking me up at the airport.
I said, why don't you just go to my mom's house?
You can meet my mom, you can come to the airport.
So he always tells me and reminds me that I met your mom before I met you.
And, uh, needless to say, we got married a few months later after that,
we, we knew it was the right thing.
And he is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
And my point in telling that story is, is that we don't know, I don't know if you've
ever seen that visual where Christ is holding this teddy bear behind his back.
Have you ever seen that one
Jethro Jones: Yep.
Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: where he is got this huge teddy bear behind your back
and this little girl's got this little tiny teddy bear going, no,
Christ, I don't wanna give it to you.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: my teddy bear.
Huge teddy bear behind your back.
And this little girl's got the Lord has.
And, and, and we have no idea what I'm here.
And, and we have no idea what a marriage that, that I'm in.
I.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: I want and needed that kind of commitment to know, because I
love marriage, I love men, and I wasn't given that opportunity in my second
marriage to really even do anything.
So I had to do what I had to do to take care of myself.
Um, but you know, to go way back to your question of what brought me here,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: um, is it's funny because now we've been married just
over a year and, um, his wife left him with 21 cents in the bank account
Jethro Jones: Hmm.
Becky Sampson: and after everything that he's done, and he's a
really, really good man, and he saw, so let me, let me back up.
Two weeks after I got here, um, after Christmas, my husband ended up in
court fighting for his granddaughter, um, because his son, who has had
years, his whole, well, many years of drug abuse, wanted his daughter
back who he's never taken care of.
On a full-time basis.
And my husband has raised her.
I said, you're gonna have to take her to take him to court to keep her.
And he's like, I don't wanna do that.
And here, I'd just gotten outta this three and a half year battle.
And now I'm like, oh God, is this why you sent me here?
And my husband's like, absolutely.
Where did you come from?
And he didn't fight at all with his divorce.
And that I, I was feeling a little resentful at at first because
I was like, look, I just fought like crazy for what was right.
he's like, but Becky, I would've never met you.
And the app, he, because he had so many women after him, he, he
put it to only two hour radius.
So he should not have seen me in Hawaii.
God drops,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: and then all of a sudden I get here and two
weeks later we're in court.
And I know about the court system.
I may not know about the children's part of it, but I knew so much
about the court system and I was able to support him through that.
And we did, we, we fought for a year.
We lost her.
Um, um, I shouldn't say we lose her because everything happens for a reason.
Jethro Jones: Exactly.
I mean, that's, that's the whole point.
So you, you did not win that court situation.
But if we see that it is for our good, then we can be okay with it.
And we can say, you know, there's, there's this BYU devotional that was
given by, uh, something Sister Holmes,
Becky Sampson: Mm-hmm.
Jethro Jones: she talks about the ideal, uh, which is what we want in a situation.
In this situation, you want to win the court battle and keep the
granddaughter, and then there's the reality, which is that you did not,
Becky Sampson: Right?
Jethro Jones: and even in her talk, the problem is not the, the reality.
It never is the problem.
The problem is that we have this ideal that we think this is the right thing, but
we don't understand God and how he works.
And so we, we are fighting for something and moving towards something and doing
something, but God has a bigger plan that includes this thing not happening
the way we mortally are expecting it to.
And we have to be okay with that because we have to understand that
God is, is wise and knows what he's doing and isn't going to make things
happen that aren't for our good even, even if they feel bad in the moment.
Right.
Becky Sampson: and it's just like if you wanna build muscle in the
gym, you have to break the muscle.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: has to be broken with resistance, which
is all of our ch conflict and
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: and trials and everything in order for it to grow back stronger.
And God knows this principle and we for some reason, fight it
Jethro Jones: All the time.
Becky Sampson: all the
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: so, and I remember even going through my divorce, I said
to my mom, I said, there is, I feel like there's a much bigger reason why
I'm going through this divorce and representing myself and learning all
this stuff about the court system.
I don't know what it is, but I do know I'm the type of person, even when I lost
my weight, I'm the type of person that I always want to reach out and help people.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: people who have lost 150 pounds and don't wanna help.
I expressed that to you the other
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: when we were talking.
And I, I don't, I can't relate to that.
However, that's their choice.
They, that's their own agency that they, they can do that.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: For me, I've always felt like every single
thing that I am experiencing and sometimes to my detriment.
'cause I'm okay, what are the steps that I'm doing?
You know what I mean?
Like, I, I need to just be present in my own struggle and,
and then I can later dissect it and go, okay, this is what I did.
Because sometimes I'm thinking, oh, I'm doing this for other people, you know?
And, and I do get caught away.
But what's interesting is I, when I met my husband now, I told him, I said,
look, I'm just letting you know, I'm writing a book called Divorcing Strong.
I help people to divorce.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: you to do anything to divorce.
Like, like that's crazy.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: now, almost a year later, um, in January of this year, right, is
when he said to me, when he saw how, how I light up in helping people through
these processes and through divorce and through subpoenas, he's like, you need
to start a company called, you know, that, that, that just says subpoenas.
Because people that usually get subpoenas are usually the
ones that are disadvantaged.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: And he's like, and so the more we thought about
it, and he really pushed me.
We were coming back from St. George on a two hour drive and he's, he just
kept saying it, kept saying, it kept, I'm like, are you kidding me, honey?
Like are really like, he's like, Becky.
You are too good at this to, to not help people.
And then he started seeing how I was helping people
through divorce, coaching them.
And, and I said, really what I'm at is I'm a strategist.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: then I started thinking about it.
I'm like, okay, I'll, if I do a subpoena thing, I could do it for attorneys.
I can't do it for pro se people because I don't have a license.
And I was gonna call it Aloha Legal.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: And then I was gonna call it Apex Legal.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: that doesn't tell you what to do.
I'm like, all I do is only subpoenas.
So now my company is called only subpoenas.com and where, where I help
people divorce, uncover the hidden assets, but I also help other attorneys.
We learn through our process with this last attorney that we had.
Typically don't like to do subpoenas because they require some more detailed
process and they don't like to do it.
I love to do it.
And
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: Of course I've got the nickname Becky Brockovich now,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
That's awesome.
Becky Sampson: So yeah.
So now this business has been born out of the struggles that we've had.
And, and it's interesting because some people though, I have a
paralegal or I have a team and, our attorney that was fighting for this
granddaughter, we needed to subpoena some, some records, some bank records.
And he's like, I don't wanna do it.
And my husband's like, well, I'm, I'm sorry, but we need to do it.
I wanna do this.
And he's like, well, fine, I'll charge you $500.
And I was thinking $500 for what?
What would you do that for?
And he just, and he was trying to just discourage us from doing it,
but we knew that this is how, one way that we were gonna win the
case or at least get leverage.
And so he says, fine, I'll do it for $500.
Well, his assistant or his paralegal, we get off the phone, go and do my due
diligence on that subpoena like I always do, and came back to her 45 minutes.
And that paralegal was like, oh, no, no, Becky, I've already sent it off
to the bank and it's been rejected.
And I'm like, well, did you do this, this, this, and this?
And she goes, how do you know?
Well, it's 'cause this is what I do, and so I sent her the information on it and
she sent it and it went right through.
So my point is, is that even if people have paralegals, they, got so much on
their plate and attorneys have so much on their plate, but subpoenas win cases.
And in that point, when my husband saw that happen, he's like,
you need to do this business.
And
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Well, and there's another lesson here that I think most people would
gloss over, which is that you.
It.
Anytime you're hiring someone to do something for you, you still have to
be aware and involved in that thing.
Like you can't just take expertise for granted because they're, they may
say they're fighting for you, but the reality is, is they don't care about
you as much as you care about you
Becky Sampson: Because
Jethro Jones: and go ahead.
Becky Sampson: that, that applies to doctors,
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: that applies to the educational system,
Jethro Jones: Yep.
Becky Sampson: that applies to, uh, lawyers.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: um, I I'm gonna write an article called, don't I?
I, um, I can, I'm gonna write an article called Most, I mean, first of all,
Jethro Jones: I like it.
Becky Sampson: are very, very, Mary, the first divorce attorney you meet.
She didn't have an attorney yet.
She hadn't been served yet.
so I went through just the basic stuff.
You know, I'm not a lawyer, so I can't give legal advice, but I just explain
them and educate them about the process.
then I circled back around to her and she goes, oh, Becky, it's great this,
you know, I finally got an attorney and she's best friends with my soon to be
former husband's attorney and they're gonna be able to work everything out.
And she said that, she told me that I have to choose between alimony and
between half of our business that we own.
And I'm like, sweetheart, I'm not an attorney.
I can't give you attorney advice.
give you legal advice, but you might wanna go to this certain code.
he, I directed her to certain the code.
I said, those are dealt with very differently in the court system.
So you're not entitled to just one, you're entitled to both legally, and your
attorneys doesn't have your best interest.
sound to me at least.
And so, and I said, I don't know.
You need to do your own research and you might wanna take this, you might wanna
consider taking this to your attorney.
Be, and, and that just proved to me that even if you have an attorney, you
still need to advocate for yourself.
We advocated with, for ourselves attorneys, we hire, they
don't hire us, we hire them.
And, um, now they, they are experts.
They've, they've been through a lot more than we do.
They understand the law a lot more, but.
But that also, well, the other thought that just came to me too is advocate
for yourself and your own marriage too.
Um, that is challenged.
Like I, I had to advocate for myself and, and say, look, I know my value.
but that is something that I, I now am so passionate this podcast I did last
Friday, we talked a lot about how the men don't have support going through divorce.
And people have asked me to do support groups for men.
I truly believe men need to support men.
Um, I do think I do have value.
I can bring to the table for them because I do believe that he does not
allow them a free and safe space to, to like something that I, when I
was left with very little money on the island and I, I can't even tell you how
many times I woke up in absolute panic.
Yes.
Could I have gone back to Utah?
I didn't feel like that's what God wanted me to do.
I. I don't feel like it was safe.
I was resisting it.
And it's interesting that once that finalized and I finally got willing to
go, okay, God, like, where do you need me?
I'm totally open to, to and your will.
He like closed that door
like that and said, move.
Jethro Jones: Well, and, and what's really amazing is that he, he
could have taken care of you and had you move to Utah beforehand.
Right.
And, and we know that he is all powerful.
So we believe that he, that he could do that.
But like we've been talking about the whole time, we also have to be willing.
And so we, we have to put our trust in him and say, all right, I'm ready now.
And that's such a key point that.
Uh, he, he loves us and he is the one who's gonna go to bat for us all the time.
Any earthly person is not despite their best intentions.
And I even say this about our, our own parents and us towards our kids.
No, I care about my kids more than I can even describe, and I am not
going to care about them, about their life as much as they personally are.
I don't have that capacity yet, but I'm about as close as I can get to having that
capacity, and, and I still don't have it.
And, and we put so much trust and faith in the institutions and systems and, and,
uh, position and bishops and positions.
And the reality is, is that not a single one of them loves us,
like our heavenly father does.
And, and we can work with them and we can like enter into agreements
with them and all that kind of stuff, but they will never, and they, it is
impossible for them to have that kind of insight and love into our life.
And, and once I personally realized that, then that made a huge difference for me.
That somebody can recommend something and I can say, yes, you're smart.
Yes, you've got experience.
Yes, you've got education, but this is also my life.
And you, you cannot possibly care about this as much as I do.
And, and so that.
That's still an idea that I'm trying to understand fully, but I know
there's an inkling of truth there that
Becky Sampson: Mm-hmm.
Jethro Jones: that means something that is bigger than what I can
articulate right this moment.
Becky Sampson: Well, and, and, and I, yeah.
You actually are making me think of several different times in my life where
I've had to advocate for myself and even coming outta my first divorce when there
was violence involved and I was having to get a protective order, um, I remember
calling our bishop, and our bishop is a beautiful, he's a wonderful man.
Okay.
Imperfect.
Wonderful.
And I called him and I told him, I said, I'm, I'm, about getting
a protective order because of certain things that were happening.
And he said to me, he says, Becky, you're overreacting.
I said, I do, I do not need your permission to take care of myself.
And it was only a couple weeks later where we had an incident that happened
at his house, um, at 10 o'clock at night.
He was in his pajamas that my husband, my husband at the time, and I were
there and my husband got violent and he saw what, firsthand what happened.
And he called me the next day and he says, if you were my daughter, I, I'm so sorry.
You know?
So yeah, we do, we, and there's no way even a court system, and this
is what I tell people going into the court system, no judge, I mean, you've
got maybe 15 minutes max to maybe 30 minutes to get your story out.
If even that, and you're expecting them to know all the details.
Like you, you have to, it's, speak up for ourself and God, like what I've
learned is that God will sends me bumpers.
Okay.
I remember many years ago I was doing a podcast and I was gonna interview, I was
referred to somebody to interview and these guys wanted to hire me to be one of
their co-hosts and they, they used to do like news every day and all that stuff.
And somebody sent me a message, a private message.
'cause I used to show pictures of everybody I met all over Facebook.
And, um, so I posted something and somebody just sent me a private
message and just said, Hey Becky, you might wanna consider not
And I always appreciate that, that somebody doesn't come and
gossip about anything, that they just kind of give me bumpers.
And I have felt like God has done that my entire life.
circling back to my dad, I feel like God allowed me, my dad to be
close to me during that time, that three and a half years that I, or
five years that I was in Hawaii.
there were so many times that I was standing on the beach where I could just
hear my dad going, I'm so proud of you.
I'm so proud of who you are, who you've become, who you've, you haven't allowed
your heart to be hardened the world.
'cause remember that last letter he wrote me don't let people harden you and, and
make you into somebody that you're not.
I just remembered that in this moment.
I didn't make that connection,
but
'cause I, I do believe that one of the things in this life,
when we get to the other side.
There was a talk many years ago, and I think it was DER Holland if I remember
correctly, that said, when we get on the other side, there's gonna be one question
that we're asked, did you learn to love?
Did you learn to love yourself?
Did you learn to love others?
Did you learn to love your enemies?
Because really at the end of the day, that's pure charity.
Can you love people despite what they do to you?
Despite what they say?
Despite, and that was probably the greatest gift that my former
husband gave me during that journey.
'cause I fought like, I was still on the day that we settled.
still went into that courtroom seeing him as God sees him, I still
was saying in my heart, I love you.
I care about you.
I know you're terrified.
I couldn't change that for him, but I could change who I was through
that and, and that is my greatest accomplishment in all of that.
It has nothing to do with the money, it has nothing to do with,
but I had to learn to rely on God during that process, not only in
the legal system, but my financials.
And I had to learn to listen and take direction from him, and I'm
finding exactly the same things happening now, building this business.
It's like I wake up and he's like, you need to connect with
this person and get on that.
Like it's a total fluke that you and I met.
I mean, not a total fluke, you know what I'm saying?
Jethro Jones: Definitely something that God orchestrated and inspired
and, and made to be the case.
And, and here's what's really interesting is I, so I, this is the
first year that I'm doing this podcast, so I have to find all the 12 people.
And, um, and at the beginning of this month, I, I didn't have
the next two months ready to go.
And so I was feeling like some pressure.
But when, here's the thing, when, when God put this into my heart and said, you need
to do this podcast, I knew that I had to find people who'd be committed and willing
to do this for the next decade, who would be willing to talk with me every.
Every, uh, year for that next decade and build this relationship and be willing
to come back and, and do it again.
And so I've been trying really hard to listen when God says
this is who, who should be on it.
And I don't understand why that is.
And I imagine at least one person is going to back out and say,
I'm not gonna do this anymore.
And, and I'm, I'm okay with that because it is like, this is not,
this is not Jethro's glory here.
This is me just trying to listen to the spirit.
And, and so I'm sure that that is going to happen, that somebody's going to back out.
And if they do then that's fine.
But I've been trying really hard to listen and, and then invite people
when the spirit directs me to.
And you, last week when we were talking, that was the exact situation.
And like, I hadn't even thought about it when, when it happened and
we were in a group together, you mentioned something and it connected
me with somebody else that I had interviewed on a totally different
podcast about totally different things.
And I said, I need to just do this and, and share this person with you.
And then, uh, you called me afterward.
We had texted back and forth a little bit, and then you called me
and I was like, as we were talking.
I just was like, we need, she needs to be on a decade, never to be forgotten.
And, and like it was just clear as day.
And I was like, man, we're talking about very different things and
then I'm gonna bring this in.
Like, is that, like, how's she gonna respond?
And then here's the crazy thing, uh, and this was a testimony to me that, that
the Lord is involved is you texted me this morning and said, Hey, are you LDS?
And you had forgotten how we had connected, which is totally,
Becky Sampson: Yeah.
Jethro Jones: is totally understandable.
And we had spoken only very briefly, but it was like, it, you still were
willing to do it and still were like on board with it and everything.
And, and what's so cool is that we don't have to see the end
from the beginning because we just need to take that next step.
And the next step for me last week was to say, Hey, are you willing to do this?
And you said Yes.
And, and so now, uh, here we are and this has been an amazing conversation
and I'm so grateful for it because I've had so many questions that I have
answered in our conversation, and there's no reason why that should be the case.
And I'm sure somebody listening is gonna have the same experience.
Becky Sampson: really one of those, I mean, when you really start paying
attention, like really, really, like when I, I'm gonna speak for myself.
When I really started paying attention to these God drops in my
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: and these connections, because I, I actually, the only
reason why I was on that meeting last week where I met you was because I
reached out to that one sister that told me, Becky, do you think maybe
God has somewhere else for you to be,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: works for the LDS employment in Hawaii.
And I called her last week and I was like, Hey, I need someone that knows
about this certain thing in business.
And she sent me to this, sent me to, you know, the lady that did the meeting.
And then we got on.
And then, and this is the one thing that I've learned too, is God,
God cannot drive a parked car.
Okay.
Like I've learned that I have to be in motion, meaning take my foot off the,
off the brake, which is all my fears and all my doubts and all my everything.
get in the car and start driving in a certain direction.
And then he directs me, oh, call this person.
Oh, do this, oh, connect here.
I am an action taker.
So I, 'cause, 'cause inspiration will come and then it will leave.
It will literally leave just as quickly as it comes if you don't take action.
And, um, and it may come back again, But I, I've learned that I did not
know when I started the process of the divorce that I would end
up married to the love of my life.
I had no idea what that journey and, and now, and I said to my husband last
night, I said, I love who I've become.
And one of your questions to consider was like, who are you
gonna become the next 10 years?
Like I'm sitting here, just, one of my other quotes that says that life is just.
De have detached observation.
Just don't take, take the shame and the, the guilt and just detach from it.
Like you're watching a movie and going, wow, that's interesting.
That journey and that journey.
And that's connecting here.
And I may, and I said yesterday in another podcast that I was
like, I meet people sometimes and I have no idea why we're meeting.
They're like, why are we meeting?
I'm like, I dunno.
just got this impression that I'm like, like I just made a
connection to someone yesterday.
And she's like, but I don't want this.
I'm like, no.
I just, I don't know.
I heard you speak and I, I wanna connect with you.
And, and you never know where any of those things are gonna go.
And you don't know if 10 years down the road you're gonna go, Hey, you
know what, Jetro, there's, there's something I, I wanna connect you to.
You just knows.
why are we trying to do this on our own?
Like, why do I try to do it on my own?
I should speak for myself.
So
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: finally let go is when things happen and God works
in, he works so fast sometimes.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Well, as I've been going through my own struggles in the last, year or
so, what I have talked about with my wife numerous times is in a two
week period, our lives can totally change for the better or the worse.
And God has the power to put us in a totally different position than
we even thought was possible, in a short span of just two weeks.
And so as we're struggling through things, as we're waiting for God's
will to come to pass for us to be able to understand what he's doing, that
will change probably very quickly.
Like you have already shared in this, that, you know, one day you get the
income in your, the money in your bank, and then the next day you're
talking for the first hour with
Becky Sampson: I met my new husband.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: what?
Jethro Jones: it just happens like life changes very quickly and God
has the power to make that happen.
And so when we are frustrated and bummed that the things that we want
are not happening the way that we think they should, we really need to
take a step back and like you said, being a detached observer and just say,
alright, where is God's hand in this?
What is he doing in my life right now so that I can have
the life that he, eternal life.
Yeah.
Becky Sampson: step?
Jethro Jones: Where do I go next?
What do I need to be doing?
And, you know, I don't have all the answers for my life and none of us
do, but we feel like we want to.
And where I shared that talk by Sister Holmes about the ideal.
That's what the problem is.
We think the ideal is what we want.
We think that our ideal is what we want, and God's like, no, what you need.
And what you should want is the plan that I have for you.
And be open to that.
And when you're open to that, then you see the miracles, you see the
amazing things that are happening.
And sure, we're going to have disappointment, but if we can take a
take a minute and go back and say, wait a minute, where do I want to really be?
What do I really want God to be doing in my life?
When we do that, then we are going to have amazing opportunities
that we weren't even prepared for.
And I'm saying this myself because I need to hear it for crying out loud because
Becky Sampson: the credit.
Jethro Jones: Yes,
Becky Sampson: God the credit.
Jethro Jones: because it is his plan and he is the one who's,
who's making things happen.
And, and even if things are hard right now, he knows that it's worthwhile.
And at some point we will understand that too.
Becky Sampson: Mm-hmm.
Jethro Jones: it may not even be in this life, and that's okay too.
But we're gonna see the, the beauty in his work.
Becky Sampson: Well, the other thing too that I, I, from years of struggling
financially, um, I, I learned this principle that when that anxiety that
I felt even through the troubles and the trials and tribulations, temporary.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: It, it, Satan is going to convince you that it's permanent.
It's a permanent state of dis, you know, overwhelm or
permanent state of discontent.
However, yes, there is a time to grieve.
Yes, there is a time to, to be in like, I don't know, mode and walk, walk by faith.
But you know, it is that 11th hour I think they talk about.
It's funny, I always say, I always say to God, look, I can't, can't
hang on to a piece of dental floss off the side of a, a freaking cliff.
And he's like, oh no, I got you girl.
I'm like, but it was always on the 11th hour and the 59th second that he would
like, like, how did that payment come?
I mean, how did, and but that's how we're tested.
That again, it's the muscle, right?
You gotta have the resistance, you gotta have the, the, you've gotta
walk by faith in order for God to, to get us to, to trust him.
And if we were always given what we were given, then there's no level
of, there's no level of trust.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: there's it.
So it is all on purpose and it's not a permanent state.
And I would just breathe through it.
I'm like, well, tomorrow's a brand new day, you know, or to the next
hour's, a new day for today only.
I'm gonna grieve, you know.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Well, and to your point about always in the 11th hour or the 59th minute,
the reality is, is that once that that relief or salvation comes, then it,
it can only come in the 11th hour.
Right.
Because otherwise we wouldn't even notice it.
We wouldn't even care about it.
You know, it's, it's like that old saying, I found this in the last place I looked.
Well, of course you did, because why would you keep looking if you found it?
You wouldn't.
Right.
And so if you find it in the first place, you look, that is also the last place.
If you find it in the third place, you look.
That's also the last place.
And the thing is, when we're, when we're going through these trials, the Lord
delivers us in the last moment because it'll always be the last moment because
Becky Sampson: point.
Jethro Jones: that's when the trial's over.
And that's okay.
But it feels like in the moment, like this has been going on
forever and it will go on forever.
And then the relief comes and I think the point I'm trying to make
is that if you start out saying.
Okay.
This is a trial.
I'm in the middle of it.
Where's the Lord's hand, and how am I overcoming this?
Then you don't have to wait for the deliverance in the 11th
hour, you can experience the deliverance in the trial itself.
That's an idea that I'm just starting to grasp that I don't totally understand,
Becky Sampson: that's being
Jethro Jones: there's there.
Becky Sampson: That's having gratitude during the trial and
gratitude for, for the moment.
Again, the more that you have the perspective that is happening for you,
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: a journey.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: It's, it's, it is, it is literally how am I
gonna grow through this and, and become a better person through it?
And I, you know, I don't have any regrets.
I don't know about you, but I look back on my life and I mean, even my
husband and I say this now you know, would've been great if I met him
when I was young and had these kids.
But I said, I wouldn't have been the same person like you.
It would, I, I am so appreciative of him now because of
everything I've been through.
I appreciate him more because of all the men that I dated.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: said, appreciation is probably one of the biggest things that
they are lacking in their relationships.
I'm kinder to him because of what I did to my first husband.
You know, I, I am fighting like crazy for the relationship because I didn't
get the opportunity to do that the second
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: You know what I mean?
So all of this happens.
Um, you know, if we can look at that and say, God knows I, I love what
one of my girlfriends would call when I was going through the divorce.
She goes, Becky, God knows what God's doing.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: And I was like,
and then one of my girlfriends like, but then you're gonna look back on this and,
and someday be able to say that this was the best thing that ever happened to you.
And I'm like,
Jethro Jones: Yeah,
Becky Sampson: I'm I, but I look back now and go, oh my gosh.
And it doesn't mean that my life is perfect now.
Jethro Jones: yeah,
Becky Sampson: so beautiful about what you're doing is every year that you
and I get back together, I'm gonna be able to go, oh, look at this.
Jethro Jones: yeah.
Yep.
Becky Sampson: journey I've been on.
But having the right perspective.
And that's where, that's where President Nelson has said to us
is, is that, um, is that, you know, having the eternal, um, what is it?
The eternal
Jethro Jones: The celestial.
Think celestial.
Becky Sampson: yeah.
Think, think celestial.
That is exactly, if you can think celestial and pull the perspective away to
be able to see the blessing and the gift,
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: then you truly can be present
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: in that moment.
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Well, I, I think that is a great place for us to end.
This has been so inspiring.
Thank you so much for your time and for your life and sharing
so much of your story with us.
Becky Sampson: Gosh, and thank you, thank you for creating the
space for me to be vulnerable.
I mean, I don't, I don't cry a lot about my dad.
However, I, and it's okay for me to cry.
I am not embarrassed or anything.
I, it's a beautiful experience.
Um, but I, I thank you for listening to your own impression
that God's put onto your heart do this because you'll see blessings.
You know, God knows what God's doing.
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: see blessings in your life.
You're gonna bless other people's lives.
And that's really the whole purpose why we're here, is to serve one another
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.
Becky Sampson: to help uplift and being, bring people to Christ.
That's the whole purpose.
Jethro Jones: Yep.
Becky Sampson: no matter what religion they are that listens to this or,
but that, um, God loves them
Jethro Jones: Yeah.
Becky Sampson: and Christ did what he did for all of us.
Jethro Jones: Yep.
Becky Sampson: So thank you
Jethro Jones: Thank you.
And thank you everybody who's listening.
We will catch up with Becky again in a year.
It's gonna be awesome.
Becky Sampson: until next year.