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This file was generated by Descript 

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Jethro Jones: Welcome to a decade.

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Never to be forgotten.

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I am just loving this project.

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If you're new, the thing we do here
is we are talking to the same people,

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uh, every year for the next 10 years.

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There's a companion 10 year journal that
you can sign up for and join@adntbf.com.

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Uh, or add a decade never
to be forgotten.com.

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Click the journal button up on
the top and you can join that.

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And the goal here is hearkening back
to Elder Stevenson's 2024 October

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general conference talk where he
talked about the next 10 years being

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a decade never to be forgotten.

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And here's what I'm learning.

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Uh, everybody has a life.

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They go through trials and we
get to look back and we see this

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perfect line of how God made things
happen, just how they needed to.

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And it's amazing.

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And what I'm trying to do with this
is share that line as it's happening.

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There's going to be trials,
there's going to be frustration.

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There's going to be sadness.

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There's going to be disappointment
over the next 10 years with each of

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the people that we're talking to and.

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I wanna capture that in the moment so
that you can say, here's what's happening.

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I'm frustrated.

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It's not what I want.

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But later we can see that
it's what God had in store.

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So that's the whole purpose here.

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Uh, thank you so much
for joining us today.

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We have Becky Sampson.

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Becky, welcome to a decade,
never to be Forgotten.

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So excited to have you here.

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Becky Sampson: I thank you so much
for considering me for this, this,

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it, it really is an honor because
I am all for what you're doing and

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being able, I'm a huge documenter.

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Like I, and, and if we don't document,
we can't, I always say, um, don't

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ever look back unless you're looking
back to see how far you've come.

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Jethro Jones: Yeah.

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Oh, I like that.

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Becky Sampson: Yeah.

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Because we go back to
shame ourselves, right.

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And I'm like, no, no, no.

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It all had a purpose.

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It

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Yeah.

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fits together,

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Jethro Jones: Yeah.

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Good.

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Well, uh, when I met you, uh, last week
and we started talking, I, I just knew

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that you would be a great person to
have on here because you've already had

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so many amazing experiences, and I can
tell that you're someone who's going to

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have amazing experiences going forward.

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And despite your trials, you are still
strong in your testimony of Christ,

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and that is the important thing.

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Yeah.

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And so, um.

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The, so let's just start with this.

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Uh, what brought you to where you are now?

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And, you know, you can tell whatever
parts of the story you think are

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important right now, and we've got
the next 10 years together so we

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can, we can bring up something.

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Becky Sampson: me.

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Jethro Jones: Yeah, that's right.

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So, 10 years we're committed to this.

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Where do you wanna start?

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What do you wanna start
talking about here?

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Becky Sampson: Oh, you know, I, you
know, it's funny, I always ask that

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question to people when I, because I've
done podcasting and interviewing and

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radio, TV for the last 15 years, and
love that question because it, it really

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you back to what caused me to be in
this very moment today, like in 2025.

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Right?

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So what created, um, you know, so
I grew up in a family, um, of five.

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So my dad was from Richfield in,
in the Richfield, um, Utah area.

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My mom was from Salt Lake, um, but
they ended up in California where

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my dad was a professor and he taught
accounting, but his number one

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love was to start a summer camp.

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kids in southern Utah here.

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I actually, I'm back in
the Richfield area now.

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Funny story.

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But, um, but he started the summer
camp for every summer of our lives.

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We would come out to, um, a place
called Bik Mill, Utah, just outside

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of, um, capital Reef National Park.

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Well, I was the fourth child down
of five, and when I came out, my

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mom said, man, I had one leg out.

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And you were out the door like you were,
was, I was ready to, to conquer the world.

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And, um, and that really was a
defining moment for our family

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because I think I came out with
more energy than anybody else.

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Um, and I, and many times they didn't
know how to handle that level of

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energy and, um, gusto so to speak.

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Jethro Jones: Ah,

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Becky Sampson: So,

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Jethro Jones: I like that.

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Becky Sampson: I'm, I've
never used that word.

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I guess it just came to me.

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But, but Gusto and I was a
very, very outgoing, child.

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I was very social.

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My mom was always saying to me, she
goes, I don't know how you do it.

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But within two minutes of talking to
any stranger out there, you know all

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of their background, you know who
they are, you know, their family and

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every, I just have been a talker and
a communicator from a very young age.

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then there was about
seven or eight years old.

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As I've done a lot of internal work in
my life, I can kind of see that was when

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my turning point was in my life where I
felt like I had to kind of more restrain

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myself because, of certain things that
happened in my life, and I know it sounds

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kind of strange to some people that this
would be something that, affected me.

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But I had an older brother, not my
oldest brother, but my second oldest

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brother, and he was a basketball star.

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The star of the family, like
everybody wanted to be in his life.

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And at a young age, I think I looked
up to him and wanted to be like him.

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I wanted to be liked by him.

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I wanted to be accepted by hi like him.

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And many times he would say to me,
he's like, Becky, why is the sky blue?

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Go away.

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We don't want you here.

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And, I come from a really
good family, just so you know.

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at a young age, I started internalizing
that, that I needed to be quiet.

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I needed to,  hold back.

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I needed to not express myself.

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And that I wasn't acceptable.

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Another defining moment for me was I
also struggled with staying still, right?

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And a lot of people talk about this now
because we, we talk so openly about it.

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in school I was so afraid to look stupid
that when I took tests, I would bubble

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in the, the little, you know how it used
to be like a, B, C, DE, F or whatever,

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and you put your little pencil and
you go A, C, D, F, and I, instead of

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reading and then comprehending what I was
reading, I would just bubble it all in.

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and then they came to me one day and
said, I had a reading disability.

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And I was like, oh, they
don't know anything.

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Like, I'm not that dumb.

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Jethro Jones: Yeah.

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Becky Sampson: And, and I had a hard
time reading out loud and I would, um,

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fumble up words and things like that.

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And next thing I know, in second
grade, they pulled me outta second

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grade and took me into a private,
um, a special reading class.

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And at first my mom said that
I did really well with that.

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Like I, she goes, you really liked it.

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But then all of a sudden, one day
in my own little mind as a seven

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and 8-year-old, whatever I was, she,
she said, it was like overnight that

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I decided, wait a minute, hold on.

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They think I'm stupid.

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And so I really internalized
that processes that I'm stupid.

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And if I'm stupid not as a 7-year-old
doesn't think about all this.

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But after all these years of,
you know, doing therapy and

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everything, I realized as a little
child, I, I decided I was stupid.

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I was going to now not apply myself.

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And so then by not applying myself
in school and not doing my homework

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and not being perfect at it, um, I
ended up getting D's and F's and I

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barely graduated from high school
with a 1.7, which is a D average.

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Jethro Jones: Yeah.

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Becky Sampson: Um, and I spent most
of my life feeling absolutely stupid.

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But also what happened to me at that
point was, is that I, um, I ended

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up turning to food and I started
hiding, stealing, eating binging.

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That was kind of my,

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uh.

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My go-to because there wasn't
anything else I could do.

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Um, so over the years growing up at the
summer camp, I couldn't understand why

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I would start relationships and everyone
would like me at first, but I had a

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really hard time holding relationships.

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and after interviewing, which
is interesting 'cause I, I did

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a podcast many years ago and
interviewed my BA best friend

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Mm-hmm.

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and she goes, Becky, I had
no idea that you struggled.

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She goes, 'cause you were the most
outgoing, like loving, accepting person.

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But internally, my self-esteem
took a massive hit.

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And, um, it took me many years.

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And then of course I gained
weight and then I felt even

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less accepted by other people.

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And then, um, in all kinds of things.

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And then when, when high school came,
I, I at one point wanted to out and I

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told my parents, I said, I'm, I'm done.

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I'm done with this.

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I didn't realize the cycle I was
doing, which was not applying myself

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getting the d's, then it was giving
me the evidence that I was stupid.

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Jethro Jones: So I want to stop there
for just a second because there's.

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Uh, this is so fascinating to me because
I, I, I have a somewhat similar story,

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uh, and then I went into education.

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I often say that if my high school
teachers knew that I was an educator,

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they would roll over in their graves
because there's no way that they would

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believe that I would ever go down that
path based on how I was in high school.

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And, and what's so interesting is
that you, you said something really

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key there that you, you would fail,
um, to, for whatever reason and not

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apply yourself, and then you'd see
that evidence and then it would become

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this self-fulfilling prophecy, right?

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That, that you would, you would say, well,
look, I obviously, I am dumb because I'm

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getting these bad grades, even though, uh,
it, what I say now is that all grades are

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made up and they don't even mean anything.

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And so what's really fascinating is
that that is, that is probably the

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worst possible measure to say that
you're dumb is a grade in school.

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What it's really saying is that
you're not playing the game

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that school wants you to play.

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And, and once I personally
realized that, uh.

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I figured out that
everything in life is a game

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Becky Sampson: Mm-hmm.

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Jethro Jones: and I just need
to play that game and understand

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the rules of that game.

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And when I'm not successful at it,
it's because I don't understand the

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rules of that game and I'm not, uh,
I'm not applying myself to that game in

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the way that it's meant to be played.

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Becky Sampson: and isn't that so true?

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I mean, I now, I mean now
all these years later, right?

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I'm 51.

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understand that game.

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understand life a lot more.

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And I remember even one of my professors,
uh, I attended BYU Hawaii just a few

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years ago, and he did say that, he
says, you've got to understand the

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rules of the game in life and in
business in order for you to play it.

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And, and

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Jethro Jones: Yeah.

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Becky Sampson: it.

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I think it's also, we all
are at different stages.

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As a teenager or as a 7-year-old,
I didn't understand those things.

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Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

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Becky Sampson: what's interesting
is working with people for all

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these years later, always go back
to 'em and say, look, you did the

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best that you could at that time
with the information that you had.

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Jethro Jones: Yeah.

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Becky Sampson: And, and same
thing with your parents, right?

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Jethro Jones: Yep.

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Becky Sampson: mom, my mom was so
diligent in trying to teach me that I

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was beautiful and that I was smart and
that I was, but nothing was getting

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into my head like, are you kidding me?

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Like, I, there's no way I remember
being 15 around, I, I just remembered

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this, but being around 15 years
old, I actually ran away from home.

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Um, I went to my girlfriend's
house for a couple hours, you

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know, and uh, and came back.

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But I really did run away
because eventually my dad

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and I were very, very close.

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Um, with summer camp.

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I would always go when I was very, very
young with him to all these camp fairs.

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And so we would be on road trips together.

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I became very close to him
and my dad was also bipolar.

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And, uh, what I didn't realize is,
is that I was kind of his little pet,

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so to speak, and I was the one going,
yeah, dad dream and do all these

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amazing things and, know, and my mom
was trying to keep the family together.

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So

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my father, I believe unintentionally
created this barrier between me and

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the rest of my family because they're
like, Becky, nobody understands you.

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I'm the only one that understands you.

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And so I was then feeling
like everyone's out to get me.

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Everyone's out to attack me.

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And so my mom and I had a really bad
relationship and when I was 15, I mean, I

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wrote her a letter, told her I hated her.

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she was never my mother,
and wish she would die.

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And

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Jethro Jones: Wow.

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Becky Sampson: and I
think she kept a letter.

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My brother

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Jethro Jones: Yeah.

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Becky Sampson: ever bring it up.

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But, and, and there was a good,
it does end, end well, but at, at

00:13:28.285 --> 00:13:31.704
the time my mom, I was just like,
dad, I can't do this anymore.

00:13:31.704 --> 00:13:37.194
And so I ran away to Utah and stayed
for, um, three months with my cousin

00:13:37.859 --> 00:13:38.099
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:13:38.399 --> 00:13:38.904
Becky Sampson: family.

00:13:39.204 --> 00:13:42.594
Went to high school there until I
realized then at that point my parents

00:13:42.594 --> 00:13:46.494
were kind of talking divorced and
I felt like I needed to come back.

00:13:46.584 --> 00:13:51.054
Um, but I never was close to
my mom because I just felt so

00:13:51.054 --> 00:13:54.984
misunderstood by everybody in my life.

00:13:55.824 --> 00:13:57.744
I was trying to figure out who I was.

00:13:57.744 --> 00:14:02.454
I remember at around 12 years older
or so, I would go out in our summer

00:14:02.454 --> 00:14:03.954
camp and I would write these.

00:14:05.874 --> 00:14:12.294
messages to myself, and then I would bury
them next to this rock and I'd bury them

00:14:12.624 --> 00:14:16.104
and I'd listen to music and I'd do this
whole sit, you know, this whole thing.

00:14:17.094 --> 00:14:20.304
I'd come back the next year not
knowing that, you know, disintegration.

00:14:21.234 --> 00:14:21.684
I didn't, I was like,

00:14:21.999 --> 00:14:22.289
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:14:24.174 --> 00:14:25.554
Becky Sampson: And I,
you know, it disappeared.

00:14:25.554 --> 00:14:27.954
So I, I was doing a lot
of self-development and

00:14:28.014 --> 00:14:30.354
meditation and reflection.

00:14:30.354 --> 00:14:31.254
As a child.

00:14:31.284 --> 00:14:34.104
I've always been that way, trying
to figure out connecting the

00:14:34.104 --> 00:14:38.454
dots trying to figure out myself,
trying to figure out the world.

00:14:39.144 --> 00:14:44.784
Um, and the minute I graduated
from high school, I, I literally,

00:14:44.784 --> 00:14:45.864
I was like outta there.

00:14:46.104 --> 00:14:50.454
I was like, as soon as I could get
outta my house, I was like, I'm outta

00:14:50.454 --> 00:14:52.314
here on my own, have my own job.

00:14:52.314 --> 00:14:53.814
I was a very hard worker.

00:14:54.204 --> 00:14:56.034
I have always been a really hard worker.

00:14:56.724 --> 00:15:01.284
And, um, I got into an apartment by
myself with, well, with a girlfriend

00:15:01.284 --> 00:15:04.524
of mine, um, and started my two jobs.

00:15:04.584 --> 00:15:08.814
And I had always at a young age
decided I was gonna serve a mission.

00:15:09.564 --> 00:15:13.434
when I was young, women
didn't serve missions.

00:15:13.784 --> 00:15:14.094
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:15:14.244 --> 00:15:14.545
Yep.

00:15:14.604 --> 00:15:17.454
That's big change in
culture for the church.

00:15:17.814 --> 00:15:18.294
Becky Sampson: yeah.

00:15:18.354 --> 00:15:21.894
And so I, but I remember as a young age, I
wanted serve remission, but it was getting

00:15:21.894 --> 00:15:25.374
closer and closer to that time where it's
like, okay, Becky, you gotta be serious.

00:15:25.374 --> 00:15:26.424
Are you really gonna do this?

00:15:26.574 --> 00:15:31.824
Like, and, and of course, you know,
throughout my, I had struggled.

00:15:32.170 --> 00:15:37.060
With weight and all of that stuff,
um, back and forth and back and forth.

00:15:37.060 --> 00:15:43.180
But when I was preparing for my mission,
my dad ended up, um, having an episode

00:15:43.269 --> 00:15:48.489
of depression, which was not uncommon,
but this time it was even worse 'cause

00:15:48.489 --> 00:15:53.109
he was at college and he broke down
in class and he was trying to make the

00:15:53.109 --> 00:15:57.639
decision of whether or not he was gonna
go to the, to the Golden Gate Bridge and

00:15:57.639 --> 00:15:59.439
jump off or if he was gonna drive home.

00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:04.389
And he came home and our
family went into a tizzy.

00:16:04.389 --> 00:16:06.579
My brother had just left for his mission.

00:16:07.269 --> 00:16:11.139
little brother and I had another
four months, I think, four or five

00:16:11.139 --> 00:16:12.609
months before I went on my mission.

00:16:12.639 --> 00:16:15.160
And so my dad ended up
in a mental hospital.

00:16:16.329 --> 00:16:19.180
And gosh, I haven't talked about
this for a really long time.

00:16:19.239 --> 00:16:19.599
So,

00:16:19.939 --> 00:16:21.444
Jethro Jones: Well, here we are.

00:16:21.969 --> 00:16:22.569
Becky Sampson: Here we go.

00:16:22.569 --> 00:16:27.759
And, and I, I mean, we knew my dad had a
mental illness, but I didn't understand

00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:29.365
it because he was my hero and he was

00:16:29.665 --> 00:16:29.844
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:16:30.189 --> 00:16:31.989
Becky Sampson: to a lot
of kids at our camp.

00:16:32.410 --> 00:16:34.719
He was a second dad, he was a grandfather.

00:16:35.709 --> 00:16:39.339
I mean, still to this day, I had a
conversation the other day from somebody

00:16:39.399 --> 00:16:41.649
that, I mean, they just idolized my dad.

00:16:41.649 --> 00:16:43.119
So that's how I saw him.

00:16:43.899 --> 00:16:46.030
seeing him in a weak moment
was really hard for me.

00:16:46.464 --> 00:16:48.744
Jethro Jones: Well, and, and
here's another thing that

00:16:48.744 --> 00:16:50.484
is, that is so fascinating.

00:16:50.665 --> 00:16:56.365
We, we often think of our parents as, you
know, amazing or terrible or whatever.

00:16:56.575 --> 00:17:01.915
But the reality is, is especially once
we get older and realize that they were

00:17:01.915 --> 00:17:06.085
just struggling through life just like
we are, and like everybody before them,

00:17:06.085 --> 00:17:09.954
and everybody after them, we're all
going to go through these struggles.

00:17:09.954 --> 00:17:16.405
And, and it's so fascinating because we
think, well, especially when we're young,

00:17:16.704 --> 00:17:18.865
this didn't happen in my household.

00:17:18.925 --> 00:17:20.214
We didn't have these struggles.

00:17:20.214 --> 00:17:23.935
Or if we did, then it's
like we, we downplay it.

00:17:23.935 --> 00:17:24.775
Like it's not a big deal.

00:17:24.775 --> 00:17:29.665
And then we realize that everybody goes
through these things and, and they're not

00:17:29.665 --> 00:17:34.225
all exactly the same, but they are all
the same in a different perspective, which

00:17:34.225 --> 00:17:40.315
is that we all have weaknesses and we all
have challenges and trials in our life.

00:17:40.315 --> 00:17:42.475
And that's the whole point of our life.

00:17:43.014 --> 00:17:48.504
And when you're young, it's easy to
think, you know, my parents are perfect,

00:17:48.535 --> 00:17:50.785
or my parents are great, or whatever.

00:17:51.025 --> 00:17:54.955
But then you don't, and then you become
an adult yourself and you're like, oh

00:17:54.955 --> 00:17:59.125
my goodness, they were dealing with
this and I was such a terrible kid.

00:17:59.155 --> 00:18:00.115
What is wrong with me?

00:18:00.115 --> 00:18:01.045
I was horrible.

00:18:01.254 --> 00:18:01.764
You know?

00:18:02.064 --> 00:18:05.320
Becky Sampson: it's, yeah,
the cycle of life, right?

00:18:05.770 --> 00:18:08.500
I mean, and I do think,
I do think that we.

00:18:09.594 --> 00:18:13.434
We do e even now as adults, we have
a different perspective, but the more

00:18:13.434 --> 00:18:19.164
we experience, the more the broader
and the bigger the perspective gets.

00:18:19.495 --> 00:18:22.760
Um, I'm a very different person
now than I was back then.

00:18:22.884 --> 00:18:27.654
I, I just, I, and, and oftentimes when
you're doing therapy and you're going

00:18:27.654 --> 00:18:30.654
through that process, you go, okay,
what would you tell your 7-year-old

00:18:30.654 --> 00:18:33.204
girl, you know, what would you tell her?

00:18:33.534 --> 00:18:39.534
Knowing where you are now, know, you're
doing a great job, you know, and it's

00:18:39.534 --> 00:18:45.834
okay that your brother rejected you it's
okay, and he probably was protecting you.

00:18:46.754 --> 00:18:47.044
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:18:47.345 --> 00:18:50.664
Becky Sampson: He was probably
protecting you from this older group

00:18:50.664 --> 00:18:53.634
of kids you took it a certain way.

00:18:53.634 --> 00:18:57.414
And my mom and I have talked so
much about this is that, you know,

00:18:57.444 --> 00:18:58.944
Becky, it wasn't that you grew.

00:18:58.944 --> 00:19:02.694
And I was like, oh, they're so abusive
and they're so, and I look back and I'm

00:19:02.694 --> 00:19:06.534
like, really grew up with an amazing life.

00:19:06.594 --> 00:19:07.314
I mean, I grew up

00:19:07.364 --> 00:19:07.564
Jethro Jones: yeah.

00:19:08.754 --> 00:19:09.204
Becky Sampson: and then.

00:19:09.910 --> 00:19:15.340
Every summer of my life, I got to go out
to, southern Utah and meet people from all

00:19:15.340 --> 00:19:21.070
over the world, sleep under every star in
the universe and, and have all these crazy

00:19:21.070 --> 00:19:23.320
adventures and almost die several times.

00:19:23.320 --> 00:19:24.004
I mean, it's

00:19:24.034 --> 00:19:24.324
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:19:24.790 --> 00:19:26.920
Becky Sampson: I mean, then I'd go
back and I'd ask my best friend,

00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:27.850
I'm like, what'd you do for summer?

00:19:27.850 --> 00:19:29.560
She's like, uh, swimming.

00:19:29.560 --> 00:19:34.570
I'm like, uh, I, I had, I have
an incredible, incredible life.

00:19:34.959 --> 00:19:35.080
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:19:35.080 --> 00:19:38.440
Becky Sampson: And, but at that
time I didn't see that and I didn't

00:19:38.440 --> 00:19:43.149
see the struggle that my mom had of
instability of my dad doing these

00:19:43.149 --> 00:19:45.430
crazy ideas and buying things.

00:19:45.639 --> 00:19:49.060
And, and she was like just doing her
best to keep the family together.

00:19:49.060 --> 00:19:55.510
And, um, it wasn't really until my dad
was hospitalized where I really kind

00:19:55.510 --> 00:19:58.240
of started seeing writing on the wall.

00:19:58.450 --> 00:20:02.080
And I remember going to him and they said
that we couldn't bring anything breakable.

00:20:02.470 --> 00:20:05.379
And it took my sister and
I, my sister above me and my

00:20:05.379 --> 00:20:06.730
little brother are both blind.

00:20:07.960 --> 00:20:08.770
They're legally blind.

00:20:08.770 --> 00:20:09.670
They were born that way.

00:20:10.175 --> 00:20:10.395
Jethro Jones: Wow.

00:20:10.450 --> 00:20:13.960
Becky Sampson: was driving my sister
and I up to the hospital up in Menlo

00:20:13.960 --> 00:20:15.730
Park, I think it was California.

00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:22.990
And, um, we walked in and it was
just so, it was sad for me to

00:20:22.990 --> 00:20:27.070
see my dad, um, in such a frail

00:20:29.386 --> 00:20:30.040
place.

00:20:31.600 --> 00:20:38.110
And um, for him to basically
say, don't judge me, know.

00:20:39.939 --> 00:20:44.350
And my dad really, really,
we always looked at him.

00:20:44.350 --> 00:20:45.459
He was always strong.

00:20:45.459 --> 00:20:51.069
He was always, um, the one that you
go to, to fix things and, adventure

00:20:51.077 --> 00:20:52.779
and fun and all of that stuff.

00:20:52.840 --> 00:20:56.649
And here he was, um, really
contemplating his life.

00:20:58.389 --> 00:21:04.419
And so several months after that, we had
to deal with the reality that my dad had

00:21:04.419 --> 00:21:07.569
spent quite a bit of money my mom knowing.

00:21:07.600 --> 00:21:12.129
And, and we had all this credit
card debt and, and everything.

00:21:12.129 --> 00:21:14.979
And my sister and I would go to work
during the day and we'd come home.

00:21:15.768 --> 00:21:22.330
And of course, um, uh, what's funny is
my mom, this is before computers and

00:21:22.330 --> 00:21:26.409
all that stuff, when we were young,
she wanted us to learn how to type.

00:21:26.409 --> 00:21:29.949
And so because my brother and sister
are blind, you know, we'd have this

00:21:29.949 --> 00:21:33.669
thing where she, she built this
little block over our keyboard.

00:21:34.460 --> 00:21:34.479
a

00:21:34.760 --> 00:21:34.960
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:21:34.989 --> 00:21:36.429
Becky Sampson: wasn't even a
keyboard, it was a typewriter.

00:21:36.780 --> 00:21:37.200
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:21:37.239 --> 00:21:41.559
Becky Sampson: so we, and so my
sister would, would, um, go and

00:21:41.559 --> 00:21:45.669
type things into the computer, which
is like the, the first Mac, you

00:21:45.780 --> 00:21:46.200
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:21:46.499 --> 00:21:48.309
Becky Sampson: little tiny
'cause we lived in the Bay Area.

00:21:49.330 --> 00:21:51.850
uh, she would type things into
the computer as I read them.

00:21:52.399 --> 00:21:52.820
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:21:52.870 --> 00:21:55.239
Becky Sampson: And um, and we
did express spreadsheets with

00:21:55.239 --> 00:21:56.409
all this debt that we had.

00:21:57.519 --> 00:21:59.350
we, people would be flying in.

00:21:59.350 --> 00:22:02.199
And my dad was just devastated
that people knew what was

00:22:02.199 --> 00:22:04.390
going on, the internal battle.

00:22:04.690 --> 00:22:04.980
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:22:05.409 --> 00:22:07.269
Becky Sampson: And here I was
preparing to go on a mission.

00:22:07.269 --> 00:22:12.040
I. And, um, and that about
five months later I get my

00:22:12.040 --> 00:22:13.990
mission call to Idaho Pocatello.

00:22:14.254 --> 00:22:14.649
And I was

00:22:14.949 --> 00:22:15.350
Jethro Jones: Oh, wow.

00:22:15.940 --> 00:22:18.820
Becky Sampson: I was like, uh, Idaho.

00:22:19.149 --> 00:22:21.760
Like I was hoping to go to
France maybe 'cause I studied

00:22:21.805 --> 00:22:21.865
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:22:22.300 --> 00:22:24.760
Becky Sampson: you know, in
high school, parlay, bufon.

00:22:25.510 --> 00:22:27.669
Um, but I ended up in going to par.

00:22:27.735 --> 00:22:31.750
And, and there's a real reason why
I believe the Lord and many reasons.

00:22:31.750 --> 00:22:34.270
And actually it goes back to
something that you said this morning

00:22:35.260 --> 00:22:39.010
in your intro is, is that why we
stayed connected to the church?

00:22:39.040 --> 00:22:45.460
And, and, and I'll circle back to that,
I got my mission to Idaho Pocatello.

00:22:45.460 --> 00:22:49.240
And come to find out that's where my
parents, their first year of marriage was.

00:22:49.570 --> 00:22:52.690
And then they were kind of trying
to, 'cause I was crying and I, I

00:22:52.690 --> 00:22:55.750
still to this day have not found
the video that my dad took that day.

00:22:55.750 --> 00:22:56.800
I opened my mission call.

00:22:56.919 --> 00:23:00.850
'cause I literally was
like, are you kidding me?

00:23:01.330 --> 00:23:04.720
Uh, and so they kind of
had to talk me into going.

00:23:06.310 --> 00:23:11.585
anyway, I, I ended up going, uh,   my
mom would write me every single day,

00:23:12.395 --> 00:23:14.285
I'm sorry, every week of the mission.

00:23:15.065 --> 00:23:18.245
my dad, every once in a
while I'd get a, a, from him.

00:23:18.245 --> 00:23:22.235
But our mission president was
very, very unconventional.

00:23:22.235 --> 00:23:25.895
He was a convert from Oklahoma
City and he was a bible bacher.

00:23:27.365 --> 00:23:28.655
it was unusual.

00:23:28.985 --> 00:23:32.105
You usually only get Mother's Day
and I think Christmas to call home.

00:23:32.105 --> 00:23:34.985
But I got to call home
on Father's Day year.

00:23:35.794 --> 00:23:38.945
And it was 1996.

00:23:39.334 --> 00:23:43.175
I had only a couple months left
on my mission, and I called home

00:23:43.175 --> 00:23:44.524
and talked to my dad, of course.

00:23:44.524 --> 00:23:49.084
And then right after that I was
struggling with some, some companions.

00:23:49.955 --> 00:23:53.495
he wrote me this beautiful
letter and he just said, Becky,

00:23:53.495 --> 00:23:54.695
I've always believed in you.

00:23:56.074 --> 00:24:00.814
He's like, out of all my
kids, you are a fighter.

00:24:02.165 --> 00:24:04.865
And he goes, I worry least
about you, but, but don't tell

00:24:04.865 --> 00:24:06.514
your other siblings, you know?

00:24:07.050 --> 00:24:08.764
Jethro Jones: Yeah, classic dad.

00:24:08.780 --> 00:24:09.060
Move.

00:24:09.064 --> 00:24:09.304
Becky Sampson: Yeah.

00:24:09.304 --> 00:24:11.284
Total classic dad move.

00:24:11.284 --> 00:24:11.735
Right?

00:24:12.905 --> 00:24:15.334
um, and he says, I believe in you.

00:24:15.365 --> 00:24:16.595
I know who you are.

00:24:16.625 --> 00:24:17.945
Don't let anybody dim.

00:24:18.125 --> 00:24:22.084
My dad had been inactive the
last six years of, of, uh,

00:24:22.115 --> 00:24:23.284
before I went on my mission.

00:24:23.314 --> 00:24:28.595
And, um, and so it was, it was
precious what he was writing to me.

00:24:28.655 --> 00:24:34.054
And then he said to me, he says, I know
I'm not supposed to be trunky, but I'm

00:24:34.054 --> 00:24:35.554
really trunky for you to come home.

00:24:35.585 --> 00:24:37.925
I miss our conversations
and I miss everything.

00:24:39.215 --> 00:24:43.594
Well, a week before my mission
ended, um, I got a call

00:24:45.605 --> 00:24:47.014
and, um,

00:24:49.415 --> 00:24:53.375
and my, I got a call
actually from my cousin.

00:24:54.064 --> 00:24:56.524
I think she's my cousin, my
cousin or aunt, I can't remember.

00:24:56.524 --> 00:24:58.145
But I've never met her before in my life.

00:24:58.925 --> 00:25:02.675
I was on my P day, uh, the week
before I was supposed to be released.

00:25:02.885 --> 00:25:08.014
And there was a message on
my voicemail to call her.

00:25:08.074 --> 00:25:11.195
And she lived, I actually went to
dinner with, or yeah, dinner with

00:25:11.195 --> 00:25:13.925
her in Pocatello when I surfed there.

00:25:14.764 --> 00:25:17.885
And I had already given back my calling
card and everything 'cause we were

00:25:17.885 --> 00:25:21.665
finishing our mission and I, and we get
this message and I said to my companion,

00:25:21.665 --> 00:25:24.274
I said, I, there's something not right.

00:25:24.455 --> 00:25:25.475
I don't know what's going on.

00:25:26.675 --> 00:25:28.145
I said, can I use your calling card?

00:25:28.205 --> 00:25:31.504
And so I called her back and started
talking for a few minutes and she's

00:25:31.504 --> 00:25:33.004
like, Hey Becky, I gotta call you back.

00:25:33.034 --> 00:25:35.495
'cause she realized I
didn't know anything.

00:25:36.814 --> 00:25:43.745
And um, and she called me back and she
told me that my dad had passed away.

00:25:44.975 --> 00:25:46.564
He had died in a car accident

00:25:47.465 --> 00:25:47.495
Jethro Jones: Oh.

00:25:47.554 --> 00:25:48.860
Becky Sampson: the day after camp ended.

00:25:49.879 --> 00:25:52.895
And, um, I just fell to the ground.

00:25:53.735 --> 00:25:55.625
'cause my dad was like my hero.

00:25:55.625 --> 00:25:56.314
He was,

00:25:58.985 --> 00:26:06.725
he was the, it's funny, I don't, I don't
usually cry about my dad, but, you know,

00:26:06.725 --> 00:26:09.784
um, ' cause it's actually a good story.

00:26:09.784 --> 00:26:13.205
He's, he's been amazing to father
me from the other side of the veil.

00:26:13.745 --> 00:26:17.495
But that day was, was a real
defining moment in my life.

00:26:19.115 --> 00:26:20.855
And, uh, of course they put me on a plane.

00:26:20.855 --> 00:26:23.135
The next day back to Utah.

00:26:23.135 --> 00:26:24.635
My mom had flown to Utah.

00:26:24.635 --> 00:26:27.005
We were gonna have the
funeral here in southern Utah.

00:26:27.965 --> 00:26:31.685
And, um, I remember meeting with the
state president and he's like, you

00:26:31.685 --> 00:26:33.215
better take that tag off right now.

00:26:33.215 --> 00:26:37.985
I'm gonna wrestle you to the crowd
because I just wasn't ready, you know?

00:26:38.705 --> 00:26:43.895
Um, and then we of course had
the funeral and amazing people

00:26:43.895 --> 00:26:45.305
came from all over the world.

00:26:45.305 --> 00:26:52.205
And I, I was de I was determined
that I was gonna see my dad and,

00:26:52.235 --> 00:26:56.945
um, being a missionary and, and it
didn't happen and I was discouraged.

00:26:56.945 --> 00:27:01.415
But I will tell you, for the next
year after that, I had so many

00:27:01.415 --> 00:27:05.765
dreams of my dad coming back to me
just saying, you know what, Becky,

00:27:06.125 --> 00:27:08.705
you know, you'll be just fine.

00:27:09.545 --> 00:27:15.995
And, that was the beginning of my
mother and I repairing our relationship.

00:27:17.045 --> 00:27:23.285
And I said to her at one point, I said,
I think dad needed to leave in order

00:27:23.285 --> 00:27:27.185
for you and I to have a relationship.

00:27:27.185 --> 00:27:29.735
And she and I are so we're best friends.

00:27:29.735 --> 00:27:33.485
She called me the other day and she said,
Becky, there's only a couple of people.

00:27:33.515 --> 00:27:36.185
There's only, I've only had two
best friends in my life, and one's

00:27:36.185 --> 00:27:37.745
my sister and the other one's you.

00:27:39.155 --> 00:27:41.195
And she wants me to speak at her funeral.

00:27:41.225 --> 00:27:44.044
'cause she's like, you've gotta tell
this story, this miraculous story.

00:27:45.335 --> 00:27:50.555
Um, but so, you know, as we, you
know, we've talked about things

00:27:50.555 --> 00:27:51.935
that happened for a reason.

00:27:52.175 --> 00:27:57.305
I am a hundred percent convinced that
my dad went when he was supposed to go.

00:27:58.325 --> 00:28:02.705
And although would I love to have
him in my life, would I love to

00:28:02.705 --> 00:28:05.975
have him be able to call him and
go on another road trip with him.

00:28:06.784 --> 00:28:11.254
I have felt him so close to me
and guiding me 'cause he was such

00:28:11.254 --> 00:28:13.205
an entrepreneur and I am too.

00:28:13.985 --> 00:28:17.585
And I think like him, I
inspire people like him.

00:28:18.305 --> 00:28:25.175
I, it was always my dream, um, to
take the best parts of my dad and,

00:28:26.075 --> 00:28:29.044
and continue that in, in life.

00:28:29.980 --> 00:28:32.615
Jethro Jones: Uh, yeah,
Becky, that that comment.

00:28:33.439 --> 00:28:39.050
Take the best parts of our parents
and continue that in our life is the

00:28:39.050 --> 00:28:44.600
dream of, I believe every parent out
there, like every parent knows that

00:28:44.600 --> 00:28:47.449
it is, that they are not perfect.

00:28:47.479 --> 00:28:54.590
And my dad, uh, he's, he told me when
I was like 15 or 16, he said something

00:28:54.594 --> 00:28:59.870
along the lines of, um, that he didn't
have everything figured out yet.

00:28:59.975 --> 00:29:00.695
Becky Sampson: Hmm mm.

00:29:00.994 --> 00:29:04.100
Jethro Jones: I remember
thinking, man, what an idiot.

00:29:04.219 --> 00:29:07.070
How can you not have things
figured out yet when you're,

00:29:07.520 --> 00:29:10.940
mid forties, late forties, early
fifties, however old he was?

00:29:10.940 --> 00:29:15.230
I don't remember exactly, but I remember
thinking, man, that really stinks.

00:29:15.560 --> 00:29:22.700
And now here I am, 43 years old and I
am so confused about so many things.

00:29:23.389 --> 00:29:26.780
And, and I remember thinking, man,
if I don't have my life figured out

00:29:26.780 --> 00:29:28.310
by then, it's gonna be embarrassing.

00:29:28.730 --> 00:29:32.120
But the difference is, is like the
one thing my dad was totally sure

00:29:32.120 --> 00:29:36.460
about and that I am totally sure
about now is my faith in Jesus Christ.

00:29:36.760 --> 00:29:37.120
Becky Sampson: Absolutely.

00:29:37.520 --> 00:29:40.340
Jethro Jones: that is the,
the guiding principle.

00:29:40.340 --> 00:29:48.230
And I don't worry about that aspect of it
because I know that he is my savior and

00:29:48.379 --> 00:29:51.260
he can lead me back to Heavenly Father.

00:29:51.830 --> 00:29:57.470
And the thing that's so amazing about that
is that my dad had a lot of problems, also

00:29:57.470 --> 00:29:59.510
struggled with bipolar disorder in that.

00:30:00.560 --> 00:30:06.200
But if I could take the best things
from him and pass those on and, and

00:30:06.470 --> 00:30:11.540
emulate those things, then that would
be a great honor to him as my dad.

00:30:11.720 --> 00:30:14.060
And same with my mom who's
still alive like your mom.

00:30:14.090 --> 00:30:18.080
And like, those are the things, those
are the things I want to pass on to my

00:30:18.080 --> 00:30:23.020
kids, the great things that my parents
did, and, just leave the negative things

00:30:23.260 --> 00:30:25.360
behind because they weren't perfect.

00:30:25.420 --> 00:30:25.900
None of them.

00:30:26.095 --> 00:30:27.565
Becky Sampson: are how
we learn from, right?

00:30:27.585 --> 00:30:27.875
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:30:28.015 --> 00:30:31.355
Becky Sampson: I, I think that
I call those parental paydays,

00:30:31.655 --> 00:30:32.075
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:30:32.575 --> 00:30:37.885
Becky Sampson: um, is when a parent
sees the full circle the realization

00:30:37.885 --> 00:30:39.805
where we wake up and go, oh my gosh.

00:30:39.865 --> 00:30:43.765
Like you were trying to treat, my
mom was trying to teach me structure.

00:30:44.355 --> 00:30:44.515
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:30:44.515 --> 00:30:44.755
Becky Sampson: what?

00:30:44.815 --> 00:30:48.775
She goes, if I could have taught you
structure Becky earlier in your life, like

00:30:48.775 --> 00:30:51.595
I was trying to do, but my dad was count.

00:30:51.625 --> 00:30:53.245
He's like, Hey, forget
about the structure.

00:30:53.245 --> 00:30:54.025
Let's go play.

00:30:54.075 --> 00:30:54.365
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:30:54.405 --> 00:30:58.785
Becky Sampson: And, and so he wasn't
working in conjunction with my mom.

00:30:59.655 --> 00:31:05.055
and so, and now that I have the
structure in my life, I embrace

00:31:05.055 --> 00:31:07.635
it and my mom's like, yes, this

00:31:07.705 --> 00:31:08.125
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:31:08.424 --> 00:31:09.135
Becky Sampson: trying to tell you.

00:31:09.135 --> 00:31:10.425
You were smart, you

00:31:10.475 --> 00:31:10.764
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:31:11.065 --> 00:31:11.475
Becky Sampson: beautiful.

00:31:11.475 --> 00:31:16.095
You are like, and so it's a
parental payday for her, for her.

00:31:16.095 --> 00:31:20.175
And it is, I love that you said that,
that it, it is honoring our parents.

00:31:20.985 --> 00:31:25.275
Um, you know, my mom's had a real hard
time with camp, you know, our summer

00:31:25.275 --> 00:31:27.825
camp because, and I finally said to
her a couple years ago, I said, you

00:31:27.825 --> 00:31:30.495
know what, mom, the reason why I
think you have a hard time with camp

00:31:30.495 --> 00:31:32.685
is because that was the other wife.

00:31:33.300 --> 00:31:33.720
Jethro Jones: Mm.

00:31:33.825 --> 00:31:34.005
Becky Sampson: My

00:31:34.649 --> 00:31:34.980
Jethro Jones: Yep.

00:31:35.295 --> 00:31:37.605
Becky Sampson: camp because
he was the hero there.

00:31:37.905 --> 00:31:38.324
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:31:38.325 --> 00:31:39.795
Becky Sampson: He wasn't a hero at home.

00:31:39.855 --> 00:31:44.445
You were trying to hold things together
while he went out and changed the world

00:31:44.475 --> 00:31:46.605
for all these youth around the world.

00:31:46.815 --> 00:31:47.085
And it's

00:31:47.310 --> 00:31:47.760
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:31:47.895 --> 00:31:49.245
Becky Sampson: and so, and so.

00:31:49.245 --> 00:31:53.475
It's, it's coming back to her and helping
her realize that her sacrifice that

00:31:53.475 --> 00:32:00.315
she made has changed so many people's
lives and there's a ripple effect.

00:32:00.435 --> 00:32:02.805
And so did it serve a purpose?

00:32:02.805 --> 00:32:03.255
Yes.

00:32:03.255 --> 00:32:04.125
Was it difficult?

00:32:04.125 --> 00:32:04.845
Yes.

00:32:05.685 --> 00:32:07.515
it some days that you wanna just give up?

00:32:07.575 --> 00:32:08.385
Yes.

00:32:09.165 --> 00:32:14.625
And, and, and one thing I loved about
my mom, I still love about my mom is,

00:32:14.625 --> 00:32:18.195
is that even though I was a screaming
teenager, she would still come into my

00:32:18.195 --> 00:32:20.865
bedroom and she would still pray with me.

00:32:21.585 --> 00:32:27.105
I remember as a teenager, and I tell every
parent that I, that I talk to, or a coach

00:32:27.105 --> 00:32:34.335
or any of this is that even though your
kids are giving you resistance, doing it.

00:32:35.085 --> 00:32:38.475
Because I remember her leaving
my room one, one night after we

00:32:38.475 --> 00:32:40.215
had knelt by my bed and prayed.

00:32:40.305 --> 00:32:44.475
And she, I remember thinking to
myself, why am I so mean to her?

00:32:45.975 --> 00:32:50.775
But you know what, thinking about it now
is I was set up to, to be mean to her.

00:32:51.555 --> 00:32:53.325
dad was like, she doesn't understand you.

00:32:53.505 --> 00:32:54.795
Don't be vulnerable with her.

00:32:54.795 --> 00:32:55.730
You know, all.

00:32:55.990 --> 00:32:59.835
And so I, I, I was under.

00:33:00.645 --> 00:33:01.605
Influence.

00:33:01.784 --> 00:33:03.855
And I don't think my
dad did it on purpose.

00:33:03.855 --> 00:33:08.415
I think it was just he was trying
to navigate through everything

00:33:08.475 --> 00:33:10.305
and keeping me tight to him.

00:33:10.335 --> 00:33:13.095
'cause I was his, I was his cheerleader.

00:33:13.155 --> 00:33:13.250
You

00:33:13.550 --> 00:33:13.840
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:33:14.070 --> 00:33:14.360
Yeah.

00:33:14.385 --> 00:33:17.294
Becky Sampson: And, and going back to
something that you also mentioned is,

00:33:19.065 --> 00:33:23.325
I believe one of the main reasons, and
I'm even more convinced of it now, with

00:33:23.325 --> 00:33:26.595
everything we've gone through in the last
several years, um, with people leaving

00:33:26.595 --> 00:33:30.585
the church, I'm even more convinced that
one of the reasons why God sent me to

00:33:30.585 --> 00:33:37.575
Idaho Pocatello mission was the majority
of my mission, was working with inactives

00:33:38.100 --> 00:33:38.520
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:33:38.924 --> 00:33:41.984
Becky Sampson: overage youth and
seeing what it does to a family

00:33:42.854 --> 00:33:44.264
when they don't have the gospel.

00:33:44.830 --> 00:33:45.120
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:33:45.420 --> 00:33:48.734
Becky Sampson: I am the first one
to tell anybody and everybody in the

00:33:48.734 --> 00:33:50.834
world that the goss, the gospel's true.

00:33:50.864 --> 00:33:52.274
That people in the church are not.

00:33:52.759 --> 00:33:53.000
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:33:54.044 --> 00:33:58.904
Becky Sampson: And, I remember I knocked
on a door one day, uh, and this guy

00:33:58.904 --> 00:34:00.734
was, I think he was in his seventies.

00:34:00.975 --> 00:34:02.774
I mean, it's all relative now, right?

00:34:03.310 --> 00:34:03.600
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:34:03.644 --> 00:34:05.864
Becky Sampson: he was
old, um, in his seventies.

00:34:05.955 --> 00:34:09.495
And he was like, I've lived my whole
life in the church and I'm just done.

00:34:09.764 --> 00:34:10.424
And I said, really?

00:34:10.424 --> 00:34:13.304
You're gonna go all of
that time and then give up?

00:34:14.174 --> 00:34:15.044
Like really?

00:34:15.560 --> 00:34:15.799
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:34:16.364 --> 00:34:18.705
Becky Sampson: And I've
also come to realize that

00:34:18.705 --> 00:34:19.935
everybody's on their own journey.

00:34:19.935 --> 00:34:21.284
It's not mine to judge

00:34:21.799 --> 00:34:22.139
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:34:22.440 --> 00:34:24.254
Becky Sampson: because
that's between them and God.

00:34:25.020 --> 00:34:25.379
Jethro Jones: Yep.

00:34:25.739 --> 00:34:31.319
Well, and to that point, everybody is
on their own journey and we, we, we

00:34:31.319 --> 00:34:35.940
presume to know just because we know
that something's right, that everybody

00:34:35.940 --> 00:34:39.779
else should understand it the exact same
way, and that's not the case at all.

00:34:40.379 --> 00:34:42.449
And, and God understands that.

00:34:42.540 --> 00:34:47.219
And so, and, and he understands
where people need to be and what

00:34:47.219 --> 00:34:51.449
their journey is back to him,
and that it's their choice also.

00:34:51.569 --> 00:34:51.960
Right.

00:34:51.989 --> 00:34:55.230
That it's not our choice
or even his choice.

00:34:55.589 --> 00:34:59.520
That's the gift of agency that he's
given us, that we get to choose

00:34:59.970 --> 00:35:04.680
how we interact with him and, and
he doesn't ever force us to do it.

00:35:04.830 --> 00:35:06.029
And that's not his plan.

00:35:06.750 --> 00:35:07.125
Yeah.

00:35:07.425 --> 00:35:08.895
Becky Sampson: is the plan.

00:35:08.925 --> 00:35:16.245
And so people that push agency
someone and judgment is not the plan.

00:35:16.710 --> 00:35:17.805
Jethro Jones: Yeah, exactly.

00:35:18.105 --> 00:35:21.525
Becky Sampson: know, I, I work
with two gals right now that I'm

00:35:21.525 --> 00:35:25.635
accountability partners and we do
videos back and forth one of them, I

00:35:25.635 --> 00:35:31.395
mean, they're not LDS and I never, I
never force my, my religion on anybody.

00:35:32.295 --> 00:35:33.915
but a conversation came up this last week.

00:35:33.915 --> 00:35:37.335
She goes, well, how do I address
like my faith and like my followers?

00:35:37.335 --> 00:35:37.425
And

00:35:37.955 --> 00:35:38.234
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:35:38.235 --> 00:35:41.925
Becky Sampson: higher power or
do I call it universe or Yeah.

00:35:41.925 --> 00:35:43.755
I said, honey, just be yourself.

00:35:44.339 --> 00:35:45.450
Jethro Jones: Yeah, totally.

00:35:45.795 --> 00:35:48.585
Becky Sampson: don't push your
agenda, your religion, your

00:35:48.585 --> 00:35:53.715
beliefs on anybody because that
is not God's and Christ's way.

00:35:54.269 --> 00:35:54.660
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:35:55.379 --> 00:35:55.979
Well, and

00:35:56.024 --> 00:35:56.774
Becky Sampson: and invite.

00:35:57.149 --> 00:35:59.729
Jethro Jones: yeah, and you
mentioned that your, your

00:35:59.729 --> 00:36:01.410
mission president was a Bible ba

00:36:01.664 --> 00:36:01.874
Becky Sampson: Oh,

00:36:02.175 --> 00:36:05.249
Jethro Jones: and, and so another
thing that is very popular right

00:36:05.249 --> 00:36:09.899
now is, um, is fighting online
about, you know, who believes what

00:36:09.899 --> 00:36:10.919
and what's right and what's wrong.

00:36:11.249 --> 00:36:14.039
And I never want to take that approach.

00:36:14.069 --> 00:36:17.970
I don't ever want to get in those battles
with people because they're not productive

00:36:18.209 --> 00:36:20.309
and I'm not going to convince anyone.

00:36:20.309 --> 00:36:23.490
So I don't try to convince
anyone with what I'm doing.

00:36:23.490 --> 00:36:28.169
I just share and then say, if you wanna
learn more, then let's, let's talk.

00:36:28.439 --> 00:36:37.439
I love having deep doctrinal discussions
and debates, but never to, to convince

00:36:37.439 --> 00:36:39.689
someone of something that I believe.

00:36:39.694 --> 00:36:44.519
I, I just, I, I totally despise
that What I want is to testify

00:36:44.519 --> 00:36:51.209
and to proclaim and not to, uh, to
fight or to have a, an argument.

00:36:51.539 --> 00:36:56.099
I, I just wanna share what I believe
and let you do what you will with it.

00:36:56.099 --> 00:36:58.499
And that's, that's the
approach that I've taken.

00:36:58.499 --> 00:37:03.990
And, um, and, and I feel so much
peace being able to do that.

00:37:03.990 --> 00:37:08.009
Now, I mentioned that I was a, a educator,
so I was in the public school system

00:37:08.220 --> 00:37:09.930
and it was not appropriate for me.

00:37:10.245 --> 00:37:14.205
To share my beliefs like
that, uh, in that position.

00:37:14.504 --> 00:37:19.634
And now that I'm not, I'm very
grateful that I can be more myself

00:37:19.634 --> 00:37:22.635
and share who I am, uh, more fully.

00:37:22.934 --> 00:37:23.354
Becky Sampson: Right.

00:37:23.655 --> 00:37:26.595
Jethro Jones: trying to figure out how
to do that, uh, in the best way that

00:37:26.595 --> 00:37:32.564
I can, that's authentic to myself,
but also isn't like saying My way is

00:37:32.564 --> 00:37:35.745
the only way, and if you don't agree
with me, then we have nothing to do.

00:37:36.059 --> 00:37:39.555
Becky Sampson: and I've had go, I've had
to go on my own journey, my own faith

00:37:39.854 --> 00:37:40.095
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:37:40.229 --> 00:37:41.099
Becky Sampson: get to this point

00:37:41.624 --> 00:37:41.984
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:37:42.015 --> 00:37:42.360
Me too.

00:37:42.660 --> 00:37:45.450
Becky Sampson: I grew up in a,
I mean, obviously we didn't have

00:37:45.450 --> 00:37:47.640
as many LDS people in California.

00:37:49.169 --> 00:37:53.399
and so we were, I mean, many
times my friends in high school

00:37:53.399 --> 00:37:54.599
would protect me from drinking.

00:37:54.599 --> 00:37:56.519
I mean, I never got involved
in any of that stuff.

00:37:56.970 --> 00:37:59.640
But, you know, even if I was like, well,
let me see the marijuana, you know, they

00:37:59.680 --> 00:38:00.100
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:38:00.149 --> 00:38:01.680
Becky Sampson: no, no, Becky,
you're LDS, you're Mormon.

00:38:02.009 --> 00:38:02.299
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:38:02.370 --> 00:38:02.660
Yeah.

00:38:02.970 --> 00:38:04.829
Becky Sampson: so they would
protect me in that way.

00:38:05.249 --> 00:38:10.919
Um, but I, and I've never really, but I've
had my own faith moments and I believe

00:38:11.069 --> 00:38:20.700
what grounded me was, my mission allowed
me to serve and have compassion for these

00:38:20.759 --> 00:38:21.180
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:38:21.209 --> 00:38:23.580
Becky Sampson: who have been
offended and left the church.

00:38:23.879 --> 00:38:24.100
Jethro Jones: Yep.

00:38:24.180 --> 00:38:26.999
Becky Sampson: But, you know, you read in
the scriptures and you go, man, how many

00:38:26.999 --> 00:38:29.069
of those guys were so against the church?

00:38:29.129 --> 00:38:32.129
And then they came back and were
like, the best missionaries.

00:38:32.129 --> 00:38:37.620
And so who are you to say,
or who am I to say that their

00:38:37.620 --> 00:38:39.890
journey is not right or wrong.

00:38:40.040 --> 00:38:41.090
I'm not playing God.

00:38:41.090 --> 00:38:42.170
I can't play God.

00:38:42.620 --> 00:38:44.910
And actually what's interesting is that.

00:38:45.780 --> 00:38:49.380
The day that, so once I found
out that my dad had passed away,

00:38:49.850 --> 00:38:51.259
I immediately called my mom.

00:38:51.259 --> 00:38:52.310
I said, why didn't you call me?

00:38:52.310 --> 00:38:53.810
She's like, well, we
didn't have your number.

00:38:53.810 --> 00:38:54.799
I said, you did have my number.

00:38:54.799 --> 00:38:56.930
I mean, so I started like
really getting upset.

00:38:57.230 --> 00:38:59.720
I'm like, why did I have to
hear, but my dad passing away

00:38:59.720 --> 00:39:01.160
from somebody I don't even know.

00:39:01.654 --> 00:39:02.060
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:39:02.359 --> 00:39:04.520
Becky Sampson: then next thing I
know, and my mission president was

00:39:04.520 --> 00:39:08.270
just trying to out a bunch of stuff
before he came down to meet with me.

00:39:08.810 --> 00:39:11.240
But he came down to meet with me
face to face and he says, Becky,

00:39:11.240 --> 00:39:15.830
don't let this experience of your
dad's death you to go inactive.

00:39:16.690 --> 00:39:18.280
What are you talking about?

00:39:18.610 --> 00:39:19.570
Why would that go in?

00:39:19.630 --> 00:39:21.070
Why would I go inactive about that?

00:39:21.970 --> 00:39:23.320
so it's interesting.

00:39:24.984 --> 00:39:30.924
I, I've never really been one that has
challenged the church until I've gotten

00:39:30.924 --> 00:39:35.904
to some certain things in my life, and now
I've gotten to this beautiful, peaceful

00:39:35.904 --> 00:39:37.825
place going, look, people are not perfect.

00:39:38.104 --> 00:39:43.414
I cannot hold people to including
myself to this, this level of perfection

00:39:43.414 --> 00:39:45.035
because that is not God's plan.

00:39:45.035 --> 00:39:46.084
That is Satan's plan.

00:39:46.894 --> 00:39:53.584
I refuse to be on his side and in my
work, um, line of work, there's a lot

00:39:53.584 --> 00:39:59.944
of public speakers and a lot of coaches
who have straightaway the church and the

00:39:59.944 --> 00:40:05.134
ones who are vocal about going to the
temple and about staying active, I reach

00:40:05.134 --> 00:40:10.444
out personally to them and say, thank
you so much for continuing to just share

00:40:10.444 --> 00:40:15.154
your personal beliefs and your life,
because you never know who's watching,

00:40:15.245 --> 00:40:16.595
especially when you're in the public eye.

00:40:17.285 --> 00:40:21.904
And I've had people come up to me
years later and say, Becky, I've been

00:40:21.904 --> 00:40:25.355
watching you for years and I really
respect what you're doing, how you're

00:40:25.384 --> 00:40:29.944
serving people, you know your heart
because I, I do the very best I can to

00:40:29.944 --> 00:40:32.254
be as authentic and real as possible.

00:40:33.154 --> 00:40:34.624
without throwing up on people.

00:40:34.624 --> 00:40:38.794
I don't believe that that's the way
to share, but when you share, it's

00:40:38.794 --> 00:40:45.874
a different energy than when you
are trying to convince somebody.

00:40:46.805 --> 00:40:50.464
it's promotion that, and I don't know
about you, but I'm one of those people.

00:40:50.464 --> 00:40:52.055
You tell me what to do and I'm like.

00:40:53.000 --> 00:40:53.569
Screw you.

00:40:54.265 --> 00:40:54.555
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:40:55.415 --> 00:40:58.640
Becky Sampson: I, I, and I've learned
through my processes and especially

00:40:58.640 --> 00:41:01.910
through my divorces, that it's like,
if you wanna influence me, you say,

00:41:01.910 --> 00:41:03.799
Becky, you might wanna consider,

00:41:04.294 --> 00:41:04.714
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:41:04.819 --> 00:41:07.549
Becky Sampson: wanna consider what you're
saying or you might wanna consider what

00:41:07.549 --> 00:41:09.770
you're doing or you might wanna consider.

00:41:10.069 --> 00:41:11.330
Then it's like, okay, great.

00:41:11.330 --> 00:41:14.540
You're now giving me the agency
and the space to step back and go.

00:41:14.870 --> 00:41:15.980
I'm gonna consider that.

00:41:15.980 --> 00:41:18.919
I might give you a little kickback
at first, but just hang on.

00:41:19.160 --> 00:41:23.419
Just like my husband last weekend
when we went, um, hunting.

00:41:23.419 --> 00:41:26.270
And he got me up at 4 45 in the
morning in the freezing cold.

00:41:26.270 --> 00:41:28.700
And I'm like, ah, but you know what?

00:41:28.879 --> 00:41:30.230
Just hang in there.

00:41:30.230 --> 00:41:31.009
Just I'll

00:41:31.105 --> 00:41:31.395
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:41:31.694 --> 00:41:33.350
Becky Sampson: And eventually
I was like, okay, this is fun.

00:41:33.590 --> 00:41:33.710
You

00:41:33.890 --> 00:41:34.520
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:41:34.759 --> 00:41:34.970
Yeah.

00:41:35.720 --> 00:41:37.399
Becky Sampson: it's the
same way with the gospel.

00:41:37.399 --> 00:41:42.350
So I, it's um, I mean, kind of
circling back to when I got back

00:41:42.350 --> 00:41:51.710
from my mission, I, I, I didn't, my
life had just completely, um, right?

00:41:52.040 --> 00:41:56.240
And my mom, for the first time, I was
sitting there on the phone trying to

00:41:56.240 --> 00:41:58.572
register for my classes and for college.

00:41:59.149 --> 00:42:02.660
And she says, Becky, 'cause I was going
for business entrepreneurial stuff and it

00:42:02.660 --> 00:42:07.040
had a lot of math classes and I, I'm, I
didn't do well in high school that way,

00:42:07.040 --> 00:42:08.569
even though I'm very smart that way.

00:42:08.569 --> 00:42:09.620
I just didn't do well.

00:42:10.279 --> 00:42:14.299
she says you might wanna consider
she did back then actually say, you

00:42:14.299 --> 00:42:15.680
might wanna go into graphic design.

00:42:16.160 --> 00:42:18.230
And I was like, that's way too much fun.

00:42:19.024 --> 00:42:19.314
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:42:19.615 --> 00:42:21.770
Becky Sampson: Like, that's,
school's not supposed to be fun.

00:42:22.654 --> 00:42:22.745
My

00:42:22.955 --> 00:42:23.194
Jethro Jones: Interesting.

00:42:24.155 --> 00:42:27.725
Becky Sampson: And, uh, sure enough,
I did change my degree and do graphic

00:42:27.725 --> 00:42:30.095
design, and it's been the best thing
in the world, being an entrepreneur,

00:42:30.095 --> 00:42:31.775
being able to do all my own branding and

00:42:31.854 --> 00:42:32.274
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:42:32.615 --> 00:42:35.525
Becky Sampson: and all my own stuff
from what I learned 30 years ago.

00:42:37.355 --> 00:42:44.165
and so I, I went off to college and
went on my way and, and started,

00:42:44.795 --> 00:42:50.255
you know, that whole journey of
dating and, getting engaged and

00:42:50.255 --> 00:42:51.845
then breaking that engagement off.

00:42:51.845 --> 00:42:58.205
And, um, all while I've been up and
down the scales, weight loss, you

00:42:58.205 --> 00:43:01.985
know, I went on my mission 230 pounds,
came home and lost 50 pounds and then

00:43:02.705 --> 00:43:04.595
engaged, then broke off the engagement.

00:43:06.215 --> 00:43:07.595
and I thought my life was over.

00:43:08.495 --> 00:43:12.635
When that first engagement,
uh, broke up, I literally felt

00:43:12.635 --> 00:43:16.175
like I'm never gonna be loved.

00:43:16.415 --> 00:43:20.285
And it took me a couple years until
I'd gained all my weight back again.

00:43:20.285 --> 00:43:25.959
And here I was in that regards and
was rejected so many times by men

00:43:26.259 --> 00:43:26.680
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:43:27.125 --> 00:43:30.965
Becky Sampson: they would say,
Becky, I love your conversation.

00:43:30.965 --> 00:43:38.075
I love, know, talking to you and being
friends with you, but I, I can't have a

00:43:38.075 --> 00:43:40.115
relationship like the weight's an issue.

00:43:40.979 --> 00:43:41.099
Jethro Jones: Hmm.

00:43:41.105 --> 00:43:44.285
Becky Sampson: So that was just taking
another hit that I've been dealing with my

00:43:44.285 --> 00:43:48.365
whole life until I met, my first husband.

00:43:48.365 --> 00:43:52.234
I. Who threw himself at me, literally.

00:43:52.234 --> 00:43:56.794
Like, just, the minute we met, he
just was like, oh my gosh, I love you.

00:43:56.794 --> 00:43:57.604
I care about you.

00:43:57.604 --> 00:43:58.444
I wanna be with you.

00:43:58.444 --> 00:44:01.774
And I was like, I don't like you.

00:44:02.884 --> 00:44:03.754
Like I, I,

00:44:04.595 --> 00:44:07.174
Jethro Jones: The, the thing you've
been praying for happens and now

00:44:07.174 --> 00:44:08.825
you're like, eh, I am not interested.

00:44:10.624 --> 00:44:12.184
Becky Sampson: I just
wasn't attracted to him.

00:44:12.184 --> 00:44:13.774
He was too much in my face.

00:44:13.774 --> 00:44:18.394
Again, if you come at me like,
like you tell me that I have to do

00:44:18.394 --> 00:44:20.495
something, I will be like, oh, heck no.

00:44:21.184 --> 00:44:26.794
Um, and, and so he was like after
me for about a year and a half.

00:44:26.794 --> 00:44:31.805
And then I went to an education
week, um, talk on judging people.

00:44:31.865 --> 00:44:35.074
And I thought, okay, I'm gonna get my
little notebook out and do my evaluation.

00:44:35.164 --> 00:44:39.004
I mean, Matt's not that
bad of a guy, but, okay.

00:44:39.035 --> 00:44:42.064
So I did all this stuff and the
next thing I know, I come home

00:44:42.064 --> 00:44:44.914
that night, I call him, and he
was living back east at that time.

00:44:45.934 --> 00:44:49.595
um, and I said to him, I said, I love you.

00:44:49.924 --> 00:44:53.825
Two weeks later, I was on a plane
to back east, and I said to my

00:44:53.825 --> 00:44:56.104
mom, I said, I'm not, don't worry.

00:44:56.104 --> 00:44:56.825
I'm not interested.

00:44:56.825 --> 00:44:58.774
I'm just gonna kind of
just see what happens here.

00:44:59.194 --> 00:45:01.115
And then within two days we got engaged.

00:45:01.115 --> 00:45:02.524
Two and a half months
later, we got married.

00:45:04.480 --> 00:45:04.770
Jethro Jones: Fast.

00:45:05.345 --> 00:45:09.995
Becky Sampson: Yeah, and I was 29
years old and that was definitely

00:45:09.995 --> 00:45:13.415
something I, I think I had gotten to
the point where I had been rejected by

00:45:13.415 --> 00:45:18.575
so many men, that, and, and he just,
he didn't care that I was 230 pounds.

00:45:18.575 --> 00:45:20.375
He just thought I walked on water.

00:45:20.675 --> 00:45:21.189
He just thought,

00:45:21.490 --> 00:45:21.569
Jethro Jones: Hmm.

00:45:21.755 --> 00:45:23.555
Becky Sampson: but I didn't
feel that way towards him.

00:45:23.645 --> 00:45:28.654
And, but looking back now, and
by the way, we've done a podcast

00:45:28.654 --> 00:45:29.975
three years after our divorce.

00:45:30.694 --> 00:45:30.904
Jethro Jones: Hmm.

00:45:30.995 --> 00:45:34.955
Becky Sampson: a podcast, and I just
had my husband now actually listen

00:45:34.955 --> 00:45:38.825
to it for the first time the other
day, um, we did an hour and a half

00:45:38.825 --> 00:45:42.095
where we talked very openly, but
from the get go there was abuse.

00:45:42.785 --> 00:45:45.095
Not only physical abuse,
but emotional abuse.

00:45:45.095 --> 00:45:48.365
And I don't hide the fact
that I was abusive to him.

00:45:48.725 --> 00:45:49.040
And

00:45:49.340 --> 00:45:49.670
Jethro Jones: Hmm.

00:45:49.805 --> 00:45:51.455
Becky Sampson: that you
usually hear from women

00:45:51.955 --> 00:45:52.245
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:45:52.895 --> 00:45:56.134
Becky Sampson: because, um, I
didn't know what I didn't know.

00:45:57.185 --> 00:45:59.585
I knew that it was a really
unhealthy relationship.

00:45:59.585 --> 00:46:04.145
Within a couple of weeks, I got pregnant,
um, and we didn't have insurance.

00:46:04.145 --> 00:46:07.475
We didn't have, and, and ended up
having an ectopic pregnancy, three

00:46:07.475 --> 00:46:12.785
miscarriages the first year of
our marriage and was in surgery.

00:46:12.965 --> 00:46:16.565
Um, he, we were struggling financially.

00:46:16.625 --> 00:46:18.455
We were communicating correctly.

00:46:19.025 --> 00:46:22.025
Um, I was pushing him to
the limits emotionally.

00:46:22.025 --> 00:46:23.765
He would then get violent and hit me.

00:46:24.695 --> 00:46:25.085
Um.

00:46:25.985 --> 00:46:29.435
We were married for seven and a half
years, went through a lot of fertility.

00:46:30.155 --> 00:46:34.745
would have really good moments, but then
we would cycle and it would get crazy.

00:46:35.405 --> 00:46:40.716
Um, but here's the back to the cycle of
what, when I was in junior high and, and

00:46:40.745 --> 00:46:46.205
elementary school, I was tell myself that
I was stupid, so I wouldn't apply myself.

00:46:46.685 --> 00:46:49.985
And then I'd get bad grades
and then it would reinforce

00:46:49.985 --> 00:46:51.155
that idea that I was stupid.

00:46:51.965 --> 00:46:55.115
I did the exact same thing
with that first marriage.

00:46:55.565 --> 00:46:59.645
I would push my husband
emotionally till, till he broke.

00:46:59.885 --> 00:47:04.055
Like I would like verbally attack
him and emotionally attack him

00:47:04.145 --> 00:47:07.955
and spend, you know, people
say it's a narcissistic cycle.

00:47:08.165 --> 00:47:10.715
I would like, it's all
you and da dah, dah.

00:47:10.715 --> 00:47:12.965
I mean, I was just pushing
him away and pushing him away.

00:47:12.965 --> 00:47:17.225
And really internally I was
upset with myself for marrying

00:47:17.225 --> 00:47:18.185
somebody I didn't love.

00:47:19.145 --> 00:47:21.245
And then he was the recipient of that.

00:47:21.695 --> 00:47:24.065
And that push him, push and push
him, and then he would hit me and

00:47:24.065 --> 00:47:26.915
then I'd go, see, you're abusive.

00:47:28.512 --> 00:47:31.925
And it took us years for us to cycle back.

00:47:31.925 --> 00:47:34.745
And when we did that interview,
it's called Healing From Divorce.

00:47:34.745 --> 00:47:37.745
I actually need to put it on my
website so people can go to it.

00:47:39.065 --> 00:47:43.415
But if you listen to that interview
between him and I, we had both cycled all

00:47:43.415 --> 00:47:50.615
the way through where we could talk openly
the abuse and, and what we did to each

00:47:50.615 --> 00:47:52.491
other because we didn't know any better.

00:47:53.870 --> 00:47:57.109
And we cried together, we apologized.

00:47:57.589 --> 00:48:00.919
We, we looked at the lessons that
we learned from that marriage and he

00:48:00.919 --> 00:48:02.689
was devastated when I walked away.

00:48:03.589 --> 00:48:04.640
he thinks I walked away.

00:48:05.359 --> 00:48:09.740
I literally had to get outta
that cycle of abuse 'cause I

00:48:09.740 --> 00:48:11.660
didn't feel safe, nor did he.

00:48:12.589 --> 00:48:18.140
And he even admitted on this podcast
that he's, I was afraid to be vulnerable

00:48:18.140 --> 00:48:21.350
and own up to any of my stuff for
fear that he would use it against me.

00:48:21.350 --> 00:48:23.779
And he said, I would've,
at that time, I would've.

00:48:24.859 --> 00:48:30.799
so that's a very, very unusual experience
that most couples don't get a chance

00:48:30.799 --> 00:48:33.020
to, is to cycle back and process.

00:48:33.830 --> 00:48:37.339
But he, I was so grateful that
he was willing to do that.

00:48:37.549 --> 00:48:39.980
And he had now been
remarried at that time.

00:48:40.759 --> 00:48:43.879
Um, I went through a
lot of self-development.

00:48:43.879 --> 00:48:49.040
I lost 130 pounds towards the
end of our marriage, which he

00:48:49.069 --> 00:48:52.339
changed the dynamics of things.

00:48:52.430 --> 00:48:56.569
And when we did this interview, my
girlfriend did the interview for us.

00:48:57.770 --> 00:49:01.160
that was the first time I think he had
seen me personally with all my weight off.

00:49:01.729 --> 00:49:01.950
Jethro Jones: Hmm.

00:49:02.250 --> 00:49:04.850
Becky Sampson: and when I lost all
my weight, all of a sudden I started

00:49:04.850 --> 00:49:06.710
getting all this attention from men.

00:49:06.729 --> 00:49:07.149
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:49:07.759 --> 00:49:12.529
Becky Sampson: And I thought, oh
my gosh, like, this is not fair.

00:49:13.310 --> 00:49:21.050
I mean, it's not fair that I've been
the same person Um, however, I was now

00:49:21.050 --> 00:49:27.170
having men run after, at gas stations,
running after the door to open it up for

00:49:27.170 --> 00:49:34.310
me, you know, and now we're asking me
on dates and were just enamored by me.

00:49:34.310 --> 00:49:40.430
And, and what I didn't realize is I
was this beautiful woman all along.

00:49:41.330 --> 00:49:42.230
I just didn't know it.

00:49:43.100 --> 00:49:43.490
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:49:44.630 --> 00:49:50.060
And, and how interesting that the,
the, the weight loss helps you

00:49:50.060 --> 00:49:55.819
see your own beauty that is innate
in you as a divine daughter of

00:49:55.819 --> 00:49:58.130
God that every single woman has.

00:49:58.250 --> 00:50:03.740
And there's something that prevents
women from seeing their beauty and

00:50:03.740 --> 00:50:09.980
men from seeing their masculinity
and, and beauty as well, that some

00:50:09.980 --> 00:50:15.980
weakness that prevents us from seeing
ourselves how God sees us, which is as

00:50:16.009 --> 00:50:19.279
beautiful, amazing creations of his.

00:50:19.339 --> 00:50:23.779
And, and that is a tragedy
for the whole human race.

00:50:24.080 --> 00:50:24.230
Becky Sampson: Well,

00:50:24.350 --> 00:50:25.940
Jethro Jones: And yet it's
also part of the plan.

00:50:26.000 --> 00:50:26.240
Becky Sampson: Yeah.

00:50:26.270 --> 00:50:30.410
Let, let's take it back to Satan and
as easy and simple as, basic as Satan's

00:50:30.410 --> 00:50:32.750
plan versus God's plan in Christ.

00:50:32.780 --> 00:50:33.170
Right.

00:50:33.950 --> 00:50:36.770
is that, so for me it
was a food addiction.

00:50:37.040 --> 00:50:38.360
I use food as my drug.

00:50:38.960 --> 00:50:42.980
I, I was introduced to a 12 step program
for food addiction, totally free.

00:50:43.040 --> 00:50:44.480
It's a worldwide organization.

00:50:44.750 --> 00:50:46.880
I can't name it 'cause they won't let me.

00:50:47.300 --> 00:50:49.205
Publicly, but you can go look at it.

00:50:49.760 --> 00:50:55.280
Um, and I got introduced and I, I
mean, it changed everything for me.

00:50:55.730 --> 00:51:01.160
Once I got off the sugar and the flour, I
realized that was Satan's way of keeping

00:51:01.160 --> 00:51:03.650
me from seeing what God saw in me.

00:51:04.880 --> 00:51:07.970
I'm not saying that that's true
for everybody, but for me it was.

00:51:08.060 --> 00:51:11.570
I mean, within a week or two of me
being on this program, we have a

00:51:11.570 --> 00:51:15.169
very specific food program and it
doesn't include sugar and flour.

00:51:15.380 --> 00:51:20.240
All of a sudden I was
like, oh my gosh, this.

00:51:21.050 --> 00:51:24.140
Um, I'll tell that story real quick
because my girlfriend and I, she's,

00:51:24.170 --> 00:51:30.200
she's now 86, she's four foot 11
Filipino, just a one of my best friends.

00:51:31.040 --> 00:51:33.830
were walking in the mall
in Orum during winter.

00:51:33.830 --> 00:51:38.090
I was married to my first husband at the
time and I had tried Weight Watchers, I've

00:51:38.090 --> 00:51:41.134
done all that other stuff, and she had
turned to me and she goes, Becky, I've I,

00:51:41.300 --> 00:51:43.670
I've had four cookies and I'm going crazy.

00:51:43.670 --> 00:51:44.690
I need a detox.

00:51:45.080 --> 00:51:47.930
And I'm thinking four cookies.

00:51:48.050 --> 00:51:48.770
Like, that's it.

00:51:49.460 --> 00:51:50.240
you kidding me?

00:51:50.690 --> 00:51:51.920
Like maybe two bags.

00:51:51.920 --> 00:51:55.310
And then I would think to
myself about getting a detox.

00:51:55.400 --> 00:51:57.770
And she goes, you know what,
this is a Thursday morning.

00:51:58.850 --> 00:52:02.750
um, she goes, tomorrow there's a
conference down in Vegas for this.

00:52:03.125 --> 00:52:04.025
12 step program.

00:52:04.085 --> 00:52:08.795
And I, I was 130 pounds overweight at the
time, you know, I'm five foot seven, so

00:52:08.795 --> 00:52:11.075
you, I mean, anyway, you can just imagine.

00:52:11.795 --> 00:52:13.745
we were walking down the mall
and she goes, we need to go.

00:52:13.745 --> 00:52:14.375
I need to go.

00:52:14.705 --> 00:52:15.455
You wanna come with me?

00:52:15.455 --> 00:52:16.415
Do you wanna support me?

00:52:16.685 --> 00:52:17.225
Come with me.

00:52:18.245 --> 00:52:19.055
she's an enroller.

00:52:19.085 --> 00:52:20.915
She, I was like, what?

00:52:20.945 --> 00:52:21.935
Like, I've gotta work.

00:52:21.995 --> 00:52:24.275
And I was a manager at an
apartment complex, a very large

00:52:24.275 --> 00:52:25.895
one in Provo for many years.

00:52:26.675 --> 00:52:28.175
And, uh, she goes, Becky, you're the boss.

00:52:28.175 --> 00:52:29.525
Call it off, let's go.

00:52:29.915 --> 00:52:32.015
And I'm like, no, you know?

00:52:32.105 --> 00:52:33.695
And so we kept walking, kept walking.

00:52:33.695 --> 00:52:35.495
I went home, didn't even
think anything about it.

00:52:35.525 --> 00:52:38.885
The next day go walking again
and she's like, Becky, we

00:52:38.885 --> 00:52:39.965
gotta leave like in an hour.

00:52:39.965 --> 00:52:41.075
If we're gonna go, we're gonna go.

00:52:41.105 --> 00:52:41.975
I'm like, what?

00:52:41.975 --> 00:52:43.055
Are you serious?

00:52:43.865 --> 00:52:46.805
So I went home, I walked in
my apartment, I looked at my

00:52:46.805 --> 00:52:48.275
husband and I said, I don't know.

00:52:48.275 --> 00:52:49.715
Pat wants me to go to this thing.

00:52:49.715 --> 00:52:50.855
I don't even have the money for it.

00:52:50.855 --> 00:52:52.145
It's like 55 bucks or whatever.

00:52:52.145 --> 00:52:53.105
She's gonna pay for it.

00:52:53.495 --> 00:52:54.785
I have no idea where we're gonna stay.

00:52:56.195 --> 00:52:57.725
And, uh, but she's picking me up.

00:52:57.730 --> 00:52:59.735
I'm gonna go to work and tell
him I'm gonna take the day off.

00:52:59.735 --> 00:53:00.845
And we did.

00:53:00.845 --> 00:53:04.505
We took off and we headed towards
Vegas, which is a five hour drive.

00:53:04.895 --> 00:53:06.875
We get down there, we got
there a little bit late.

00:53:06.875 --> 00:53:09.635
And so we were registering and there
was a lady at the front of the room

00:53:10.295 --> 00:53:15.245
and she was telling my story, and
I was like, I, I remember stopping

00:53:15.245 --> 00:53:17.285
myself from writing the registration.

00:53:17.285 --> 00:53:21.995
And I looked up at her and she was
talking about when she would babysit

00:53:22.205 --> 00:53:27.365
kids when she was a kid, she cared
more about the food in the house than

00:53:27.365 --> 00:53:29.105
the kids that she was caring for.

00:53:30.695 --> 00:53:31.445
I was like, what?

00:53:32.315 --> 00:53:36.005
I mean, I had never heard
anybody even mention that out

00:53:36.005 --> 00:53:39.785
loud like else felt that way.

00:53:39.785 --> 00:53:42.035
'cause every time I got asked to
babysit, I'm like, Ooh, I wonder

00:53:42.035 --> 00:53:42.904
what kind of food they have.

00:53:42.904 --> 00:53:44.795
'cause in my family it was all hidden.

00:53:45.215 --> 00:53:45.515
You know?

00:53:45.515 --> 00:53:48.995
I had to go searching and finding,
know, every time that you babysit

00:53:48.995 --> 00:53:50.884
they're like, Hey, help yourself
to anything that you want.

00:53:50.884 --> 00:53:51.245
I'm like, are

00:53:51.259 --> 00:53:51.549
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:53:52.055 --> 00:53:56.225
Becky Sampson: Like, 'cause all these
much cheese and crackers and candy

00:53:56.225 --> 00:53:57.605
and everything that you have in there.

00:53:57.605 --> 00:53:59.884
And then I feel really embarrassed
'cause I'm like, oh, they're never

00:53:59.884 --> 00:54:01.055
gonna invite me back, you know?

00:54:01.419 --> 00:54:01.839
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

00:54:02.195 --> 00:54:05.465
Becky Sampson: I, she stopped me
in my tracks and I looked into this

00:54:05.495 --> 00:54:08.375
room of about 300 people sitting
there listening to her talk.

00:54:08.435 --> 00:54:11.735
And I thought to myself,
what the heck is this?

00:54:11.915 --> 00:54:15.215
Like, who are all these people
and who, what are they doing?

00:54:15.935 --> 00:54:18.725
And uh, it only took a couple more
people standing up and telling

00:54:18.725 --> 00:54:20.495
their stories for me to realize.

00:54:20.495 --> 00:54:23.495
I'm like, okay, I've been able
to lose weight a lot, but I've

00:54:23.495 --> 00:54:24.634
never been able to keep it off.

00:54:24.634 --> 00:54:28.265
And these people had kept
it off for 10, 15, 20 years.

00:54:29.105 --> 00:54:31.955
And I was like, I, it only
took me a couple hours for

00:54:31.955 --> 00:54:32.884
me to turn to my girlfriend.

00:54:32.884 --> 00:54:35.255
I said, I don't know what this
is, but I, I need to do it.

00:54:36.245 --> 00:54:37.265
And she's like, no, no, no.

00:54:37.265 --> 00:54:38.315
Becky, you'll know when you're ready.

00:54:39.185 --> 00:54:40.175
I'm like, I'm compulsive.

00:54:40.175 --> 00:54:40.654
Let's go.

00:54:41.134 --> 00:54:43.235
Like, let's, let's do it right now.

00:54:43.235 --> 00:54:48.815
And so I found the one lady in the
room who had lost over 200 pounds and

00:54:48.815 --> 00:54:51.545
I was like, alright, I'm, I'm going
straight to her to see if she can

00:54:51.545 --> 00:54:54.065
sponsor me 'cause you have to have a
sponsor in order to do this program.

00:54:54.785 --> 00:54:56.855
And so I went right up to her
and I said, okay, I'm gonna be a

00:54:56.855 --> 00:54:58.715
really hard case 'cause I'm really.

00:54:59.105 --> 00:55:02.194
I mean, I've been up and down this scale
so many times and been on every diet

00:55:02.194 --> 00:55:04.714
and Becky, that's not how this works.

00:55:06.395 --> 00:55:10.475
It's about learning how to love and accept
yourself and it's doing all the internal

00:55:10.475 --> 00:55:13.295
work that's caused you to go to the food.

00:55:14.225 --> 00:55:15.275
And I was like, what?

00:55:15.935 --> 00:55:20.315
Anyway, long story short I got on the
program, it wasn't a perfect journey and

00:55:20.375 --> 00:55:22.295
uh, we didn't have any meetings in Utah.

00:55:22.924 --> 00:55:28.714
Uh, my girlfriend and I, this the
86-year-old now, uh, Filipino, her and

00:55:28.745 --> 00:55:32.734
she came to me that day and she goes,
we need to start a meeting in, in Utah.

00:55:32.915 --> 00:55:33.785
And we did.

00:55:33.785 --> 00:55:36.995
And it ended up going to eight
meetings, ended up 150 people

00:55:37.295 --> 00:55:40.745
in Utah, huge organization.

00:55:40.805 --> 00:55:45.725
And I ended up losing the 130
pounds and down to a size two.

00:55:45.935 --> 00:55:50.705
I actually got really tiny
and uh, but it changed the

00:55:50.705 --> 00:55:52.046
dynamics with my first husband.

00:55:52.535 --> 00:55:57.214
Um, and like I said, it changed the
way that I saw myself and I ended

00:55:57.214 --> 00:56:01.174
up having to do a lot of mirror
work, intuitively sitting in front

00:56:01.174 --> 00:56:03.275
of the mirror just going, who am I?

00:56:04.505 --> 00:56:09.305
Like, and I, I'd sit and I'd hit my
face like this in front of the mirror

00:56:09.605 --> 00:56:11.255
and I'm like, this is just a meat suit.

00:56:12.725 --> 00:56:14.627
It's not who I am.

00:56:15.575 --> 00:56:16.745
It's what I am.

00:56:16.745 --> 00:56:20.855
This body is, is a, is explains
a journey I've been on.

00:56:22.444 --> 00:56:23.705
And so.

00:56:24.455 --> 00:56:29.705
really went inward in doing a
lot of writing and a lot of, um,

00:56:32.525 --> 00:56:41.045
searching to God to, bring my value place
I, I wanted to know that I was valuable

00:56:41.045 --> 00:56:49.895
at 266 pounds and I was also a valuable
at 135 pounds, you know, and that is the

00:56:49.895 --> 00:56:56.134
greatest lie that Satan wants us to think
that the outward world gets to determine

00:56:56.165 --> 00:56:59.404
our value on the inward in inside world.

00:57:00.089 --> 00:57:00.479
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

00:57:00.779 --> 00:57:06.060
Well, and, and to that point, the
Satan will use anything that he can.

00:57:06.125 --> 00:57:06.665
Becky Sampson: Anything.

00:57:07.084 --> 00:57:11.555
Jethro Jones: To make us
feel unworthy of God's love.

00:57:11.615 --> 00:57:16.805
And, and understanding that, and knowing
that anytime you feel unworthy of God's

00:57:16.805 --> 00:57:20.584
love, that is Satan's, uh, uh, tactic.

00:57:20.615 --> 00:57:25.144
And so anything that makes you
feel that way is, is from Satan.

00:57:25.144 --> 00:57:29.524
And you can very easily
identify that every single time.

00:57:29.615 --> 00:57:32.404
That doesn't mean that it's
like actually easy to do it.

00:57:32.404 --> 00:57:34.174
That is the simplicity of it.

00:57:34.624 --> 00:57:38.285
Anything that makes you feel
unworthy is Satan's tactic.

00:57:38.314 --> 00:57:43.414
And so if that's the case, then you
have to be able to, to see that and

00:57:43.414 --> 00:57:48.964
say, oh, this is just Satan trying to
get me down and turn again to Christ,

00:57:48.964 --> 00:57:52.654
to the atonement to overcome that
and to be able to have the strength

00:57:52.654 --> 00:57:55.384
to continue on whatever that is.

00:57:55.384 --> 00:57:57.994
And it doesn't matter 'cause
it's anything and everything.

00:57:57.994 --> 00:58:01.204
Mm-hmm.

00:58:01.310 --> 00:58:01.400
It's.

00:58:01.415 --> 00:58:04.385
Becky Sampson: And it's interesting
because years after I got divorced

00:58:04.385 --> 00:58:07.925
from my first husband, it, I would
say it's probably only been about six

00:58:07.925 --> 00:58:10.235
years, he came in and met with my mom.

00:58:10.505 --> 00:58:13.025
'cause he needed to pick something
up that I had found in my stuff.

00:58:13.115 --> 00:58:16.445
And he sat down with her and
he had this great insight.

00:58:16.475 --> 00:58:19.805
'cause I will say my first
husband was a very deep thinker.

00:58:20.225 --> 00:58:21.785
I really appreciate that about him.

00:58:21.935 --> 00:58:24.365
And he said to him, she goes, no,
I've realized, you know, in the

00:58:24.365 --> 00:58:27.605
church where it says, and in the
scriptures it says, um, thou shall

00:58:27.605 --> 00:58:29.255
not take the Lord's name in vain.

00:58:30.275 --> 00:58:33.695
Well, one of the Lord's names is, I am.

00:58:34.985 --> 00:58:40.985
And so when you say, I am stupid,
I'm dumb, I'm ugly, I am not enough.

00:58:41.765 --> 00:58:42.815
That's all.

00:58:42.845 --> 00:58:47.225
Taking the Lord's name in vain
because you are enough, are

00:58:47.225 --> 00:58:50.165
smart enough, you are beautiful.

00:58:50.915 --> 00:58:54.425
I don't care what your out
outward appearance looks like or

00:58:54.425 --> 00:58:55.775
what the world tells you or not.

00:58:57.050 --> 00:58:59.060
You know, it's really important with what?

00:58:59.060 --> 00:59:00.410
With the internal dialogue.

00:59:00.410 --> 00:59:03.290
And when that, and I have,
I still have my days.

00:59:03.320 --> 00:59:07.700
I really do have my days where
it's like, oh, I can't do this.

00:59:07.700 --> 00:59:10.340
Why is it so easy for
everybody else and not for me?

00:59:10.340 --> 00:59:14.540
And, you know, why am I, I,
I have my own self-doubt.

00:59:14.540 --> 00:59:19.150
And then my husband now is so good
at reminding me, Becky, Satan.

00:59:20.710 --> 00:59:21.420
that's right.

00:59:22.089 --> 00:59:26.360
Satan talk is getting to me and
I need to say enough is enough

00:59:27.440 --> 00:59:28.640
and I'm not allowed to do that.

00:59:28.940 --> 00:59:32.300
But to take you back to, I, there's a
story that I wanted to share too is that

00:59:32.300 --> 00:59:36.290
day before I started my food program,
my girlfriend and I went to the temple.

00:59:36.590 --> 00:59:39.560
We did a session and I couldn't, I
couldn't stop thinking about what

00:59:39.560 --> 00:59:43.700
these people had talked about in this
conference like, never again, no,

00:59:43.730 --> 00:59:46.250
no sugar, no flour ever, ever, ever.

00:59:46.485 --> 00:59:48.440
Like I just, no, no sugar.

00:59:48.440 --> 00:59:48.650
No.

00:59:48.650 --> 00:59:51.410
And I know, I know we should be
concentrating on the temple ceremony.

00:59:51.650 --> 00:59:55.100
And at the, I mean, thinking
to myself get to the celestia

00:59:55.100 --> 00:59:58.260
room, um,   I said, really?

00:59:58.260 --> 00:59:59.880
I can never have sugar again.

00:59:59.940 --> 01:00:00.990
Like ever.

01:00:02.010 --> 01:00:04.260
And she goes, Becky, just not today.

01:00:05.460 --> 01:00:09.330
And I was like, oh, okay.

01:00:10.440 --> 01:00:14.190
So I only have to do it for today because.

01:00:14.955 --> 01:00:17.115
That's like someone telling
me that my best friend, I

01:00:17.115 --> 01:00:18.225
can't ever talk to him again.

01:00:18.675 --> 01:00:19.125
You know what I mean?

01:00:19.515 --> 01:00:21.195
I can't ever see them again.

01:00:22.365 --> 01:00:26.745
but she says, just for today, and then
almost immediately after that, the

01:00:26.745 --> 01:00:28.515
Lord gave me this incredible vision.

01:00:29.295 --> 01:00:31.935
And I don't know if you've
been in the, the Vegas temple,

01:00:31.935 --> 01:00:32.985
but it looks like a boat.

01:00:33.315 --> 01:00:34.395
The celestial room.

01:00:34.425 --> 01:00:39.825
It comes to a point, all of a sudden
in my mind's eye, I could see and

01:00:39.825 --> 01:00:46.875
hear this beep, beep, beep beep,
this dump truck coming and coming

01:00:47.025 --> 01:00:51.255
through the wall of the temple, of
that celestial room and dump, dumping

01:00:51.266 --> 01:00:53.265
trash from the floor to the ceiling.

01:00:54.015 --> 01:00:58.245
I turned to my girlfriend and I
said, what do you think would happen?

01:00:58.395 --> 01:01:03.495
Literally would happen to the spirit
right now if a dump truck came through

01:01:03.555 --> 01:01:05.295
and dumped all this trash in here?

01:01:05.985 --> 01:01:07.395
And she goes, the spirit would be gone.

01:01:08.175 --> 01:01:11.805
in that second, and in that moment,
the Lord taught me, Becky, that's

01:01:11.805 --> 01:01:13.005
what you've been doing to your body.

01:01:14.385 --> 01:01:22.605
You wonder why you haven't been able to
feel and understand God's divinity that is

01:01:22.605 --> 01:01:25.785
in you you've been defiling your temple.

01:01:27.195 --> 01:01:28.650
And I was like, what?

01:01:29.080 --> 01:01:34.575
Like that was such a defining
moment for me, and I was, he's

01:01:34.575 --> 01:01:38.385
like, you're opening up your gates
and you're dumping all this trash.

01:01:39.900 --> 01:01:41.100
And the spirit would be gone.

01:01:41.130 --> 01:01:42.210
It just goes.

01:01:42.322 --> 01:01:46.620
And, and then I started realizing,
oh my gosh, how does Satan

01:01:46.920 --> 01:01:48.270
take the people in the church?

01:01:48.270 --> 01:01:49.440
'cause we don't typically drink.

01:01:49.470 --> 01:01:52.800
I mean, there's people that drink
and smoke and all of this stuff,

01:01:53.190 --> 01:01:57.810
but I'm thinking, wow, how many
relief society, cookbooks have been

01:01:57.810 --> 01:02:05.490
around cookies and cakes and, and
potatoes and all of this stuff.

01:02:05.490 --> 01:02:10.650
And how many people in the temple
are obese and can hardly even stand

01:02:10.650 --> 01:02:12.720
long enough to serve or can't?

01:02:12.720 --> 01:02:17.970
All of this stuff and how many
obesity um, the church and speak to

01:02:17.970 --> 01:02:22.900
the   people because they wanted to
know my story and my perspec perspective

01:02:23.560 --> 01:02:28.660
on why they were having to turn away
so many people to serve missions.

01:02:28.810 --> 01:02:31.540
And I'm thinking, wow, Satan is tricky.

01:02:33.100 --> 01:02:34.540
He is so tricky.

01:02:34.960 --> 01:02:37.690
And what do we do in relief
society when we have our lessons?

01:02:37.690 --> 01:02:40.420
We turn and we pass around all this candy.

01:02:41.650 --> 01:02:44.650
And I'm not saying that it's
that it's everybody's problem.

01:02:44.830 --> 01:02:45.100
Okay.

01:02:45.100 --> 01:02:46.240
But it was my problem.

01:02:46.540 --> 01:02:50.200
It was my addiction that
kept me from hearing God.

01:02:50.200 --> 01:02:53.110
And I'm telling you, within a couple
weeks of being off that sugar,

01:02:53.560 --> 01:02:57.910
I had a connection with God that
I had never truly felt before.

01:02:59.620 --> 01:03:00.100
And.

01:03:00.985 --> 01:03:03.985
That is why I went crazy
talking to me about 12 Step.

01:03:03.985 --> 01:03:06.345
And I had Bishops going, Becky,
stop talking about 12 Step.

01:03:06.505 --> 01:03:06.565
I'm

01:03:06.645 --> 01:03:06.935
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:03:07.315 --> 01:03:07.915
Becky Sampson: do you understand?

01:03:07.915 --> 01:03:09.495
12 Step is just the atonement.

01:03:09.565 --> 01:03:09.715
Do you

01:03:09.795 --> 01:03:10.215
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:03:10.345 --> 01:03:13.105
Becky Sampson: I don't care what the
addiction is, I don't have any judgment

01:03:13.105 --> 01:03:18.235
to anybody with any addiction because all
it is is an an avoidance of having to deal

01:03:18.625 --> 01:03:21.265
with what's really going on in an emotion.

01:03:21.685 --> 01:03:26.695
And it causes them to go to anger, to
go to drugs, to alcohol, to pornography,

01:03:26.695 --> 01:03:28.195
to whatever the addiction is.

01:03:28.945 --> 01:03:30.895
Their brain works just like mine.

01:03:31.795 --> 01:03:36.655
And when I got into recovery, I really
started understanding what the atonement,

01:03:36.655 --> 01:03:38.845
I understood what Ether 1227 is.

01:03:39.235 --> 01:03:42.625
Bring your weakness to me,
Becky, and when you bring your

01:03:42.625 --> 01:03:47.395
weakness to me and surrender it
to me, I will make you strong.

01:03:47.815 --> 01:03:52.285
Now all of a sudden, sugar and flour
didn't call out my name because I was

01:03:52.345 --> 01:03:54.625
partnering with God in that journey.

01:03:56.275 --> 01:04:00.790
Jethro Jones: Well, and you said
something that your friend said, you

01:04:00.790 --> 01:04:04.990
don't have to give it up forever,
just today, and it doesn't have to.

01:04:05.320 --> 01:04:10.330
Um, when you think about forever,
then it becomes overwhelming and

01:04:10.330 --> 01:04:11.890
like, oh, I can never do this again.

01:04:12.250 --> 01:04:18.340
And the reality is with the atonement is
there for us to be able to make mistakes

01:04:18.430 --> 01:04:21.070
and not ruin everything because of that.

01:04:21.145 --> 01:04:21.535
Becky Sampson: Right?

01:04:21.835 --> 01:04:25.570
Jethro Jones: so it's not just
about the addiction, but just

01:04:25.570 --> 01:04:29.275
about anything that you're, that
you're doing, just do it today.

01:04:29.575 --> 01:04:30.055
Becky Sampson: Yeah.

01:04:30.880 --> 01:04:34.120
Jethro Jones: if it, if you have to
just do it for the next five minutes.

01:04:34.285 --> 01:04:40.120
Becky Sampson: I, I cannot
tell you honestly how impactful

01:04:40.120 --> 01:04:42.340
that one concept was for me.

01:04:42.820 --> 01:04:44.440
People go, well, how'd
you lose 130 pounds?

01:04:44.440 --> 01:04:46.510
It wasn't, I wasn't
looking at it 130 pounds.

01:04:47.170 --> 01:04:51.760
I was literally looking at one pound a day
or one pound at a time, and one day at a

01:04:51.760 --> 01:04:53.830
time, and sometimes one meal at a time.

01:04:54.730 --> 01:04:57.880
And that is how I've had to apply
that to all the other challenges

01:04:58.090 --> 01:04:59.320
that I've had since that.

01:04:59.740 --> 01:05:05.980
I mean, that was, gosh, I started that
journey 15, 16 years ago, and I, I've

01:05:05.980 --> 01:05:12.130
had way more challenging things and
I've had to be like, okay, so just for

01:05:12.130 --> 01:05:14.980
today, I'm gonna feel this emotion.

01:05:15.220 --> 01:05:19.270
Even if, if people struggle and you
having a dad that's bipolar, I don't

01:05:19.270 --> 01:05:22.330
know if you're experiencing this too,
but I'm really sensitive to my mental

01:05:22.330 --> 01:05:31.270
health because I'm very aware that it's
hereditary and I, I do not want to be,

01:05:31.750 --> 01:05:34.120
um, I, I wanna protect that mental health.

01:05:34.240 --> 01:05:41.800
And so that one day at a time and applying
that to all aspects of life, that, and

01:05:41.890 --> 01:05:45.160
Satan, I think will teach us, oh, look
at this big boulder and look at this

01:05:45.520 --> 01:05:49.690
huge thing that's going on in your life,
and you're, you might as well give up.

01:05:49.690 --> 01:05:50.440
Who cares?

01:05:50.770 --> 01:05:57.490
Like just, and, and that he, he wants to
pin us into a corner we do give up and,

01:05:57.550 --> 01:05:59.140
and God's going, are you kidding me?

01:06:00.370 --> 01:06:01.420
I'm right here.

01:06:02.320 --> 01:06:04.960
you what you need, when
you need it, you need it,

01:06:05.960 --> 01:06:08.195
Jethro Jones: That that
piece is, is so true.

01:06:08.195 --> 01:06:09.125
He, he's.

01:06:09.275 --> 01:06:12.455
Ready to give us exactly what
we need, when we need it.

01:06:12.665 --> 01:06:16.085
And, and he's waiting to give it to us.

01:06:16.295 --> 01:06:16.790
And

01:06:17.090 --> 01:06:17.330
Becky Sampson: to it.

01:06:17.795 --> 01:06:18.935
Jethro Jones: Yes, exactly.

01:06:18.935 --> 01:06:23.705
Because it could be sitting there
right in front of us and us, and we

01:06:23.705 --> 01:06:27.125
don't see it because we're not paying
attention because we're not open to it.

01:06:27.455 --> 01:06:32.195
And so he could have the answer right
there in front of us and, and we are

01:06:32.195 --> 01:06:34.565
avoiding it or ignoring it or whatever.

01:06:34.670 --> 01:06:37.760
Becky Sampson: Well, that's
because he values agency.

01:06:37.790 --> 01:06:40.130
That's what we fought
for in the preexistence.

01:06:40.460 --> 01:06:45.590
And, and because he values that
agency, he cannot give us what

01:06:45.590 --> 01:06:47.420
we are unwilling to receive.

01:06:49.160 --> 01:06:53.300
And so being open, it's just like, kind of
back to what we were talking about before.

01:06:53.300 --> 01:06:55.970
If you're gonna share the gospel,
why are you trying to share the

01:06:55.970 --> 01:06:57.463
gospel for somebody that's not open?

01:06:58.820 --> 01:07:00.350
Like it, it doesn't.

01:07:00.500 --> 01:07:03.770
Now, if they're open, and you
can even ask them, are you open

01:07:03.770 --> 01:07:04.820
to a different perspective?

01:07:04.850 --> 01:07:09.710
Are you open to me sharing with you how,
what my experience has been with Christ

01:07:09.740 --> 01:07:13.760
or with God, or with the Temple, or
with my testimony, or there's journey.

01:07:14.150 --> 01:07:15.500
If you are a great, I'll share it.

01:07:15.500 --> 01:07:16.910
If not, I'm okay.

01:07:17.630 --> 01:07:19.910
I don't need agency.

01:07:20.061 --> 01:07:22.100
You know, my mom's an artist and she.

01:07:23.270 --> 01:07:28.160
I, I've been trying to get her to, to
turn this into the church because she has

01:07:28.160 --> 01:07:30.890
this huge chart that's like 15 feet long.

01:07:31.100 --> 01:07:34.610
I mean, it's like she's put
her testimony on this huge

01:07:34.610 --> 01:07:36.170
chart of the plan of salvation.

01:07:36.830 --> 01:07:42.140
And, and I can't tell you how many
parts in that journey from pre-existence

01:07:42.140 --> 01:07:46.100
all the way to Kingdom is all agency.

01:07:47.270 --> 01:07:48.470
I mean, she writes it in red.

01:07:48.500 --> 01:07:50.299
She, I mean, it's all over this chart.

01:07:50.360 --> 01:07:54.620
Agency, agency, agency, you know,
and we need to give that, and it's

01:07:54.620 --> 01:07:55.790
the same thing with marriages.

01:07:55.790 --> 01:08:00.920
I mean, I'm gonna say this in
relationships and marriages because, um,

01:08:02.990 --> 01:08:05.540
when you, when you get into
relationship, when I get into

01:08:05.540 --> 01:08:08.299
relationships, we are always a choice.

01:08:09.350 --> 01:08:09.980
We're a choice.

01:08:09.980 --> 01:08:11.900
Who we become, we are a choice.

01:08:11.900 --> 01:08:16.700
How we treat each other, how we
choose to see the other person.

01:08:17.420 --> 01:08:22.460
Um, and, and that was one thing that
really shifted my heart is after my first

01:08:22.460 --> 01:08:27.439
divorce, I started dating all these guys
that tell me these nightmare stories.

01:08:27.500 --> 01:08:31.279
And, and I think they just, it was
really important to me 'cause I didn't

01:08:31.279 --> 01:08:35.120
create a safe space for my husband,
that it was very intentional that when

01:08:35.120 --> 01:08:39.349
I started dating, I would create these
very safe spaces for these men to be men.

01:08:40.370 --> 01:08:46.609
Because we were losing, we're
losing the masculine part of men.

01:08:47.510 --> 01:08:49.069
Women are becoming so masculine.

01:08:49.340 --> 01:08:52.130
And I was too, I was very
masculine in my first marriage.

01:08:52.189 --> 01:08:57.410
And I actually went and learned how
to dance my divorce because I needed

01:08:57.410 --> 01:09:02.300
to lean into that femininity and
lean into the masculinity, andrus it.

01:09:03.529 --> 01:09:06.139
And so I started writing a book.

01:09:06.170 --> 01:09:11.179
Um, well, there's several things that
I started doing, um, in writing a book

01:09:11.179 --> 01:09:15.050
called, um, love Like Lady, which was
all the stuff that I learned from all

01:09:15.050 --> 01:09:22.429
these men that I had met the things
that they had wanted in relationships.

01:09:22.729 --> 01:09:25.490
And a big one that came out
of that was appreciation.

01:09:26.750 --> 01:09:30.470
And, and I have, I can't even
tell you how many men started

01:09:30.470 --> 01:09:32.059
crying on the first dates.

01:09:32.090 --> 01:09:32.870
And I said to him,

01:09:32.950 --> 01:09:33.240
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:09:33.349 --> 01:09:36.139
Becky Sampson: if, if I have to
coach you, I certainly can't date

01:09:36.139 --> 01:09:40.819
you 'cause it's just, you know, I'll
be your friend and whatever, but I

01:09:40.819 --> 01:09:45.439
just, I, I, I can't have that anyway.

01:09:45.859 --> 01:09:49.460
So I, I was actually single for
eight years and dated a lot of

01:09:49.460 --> 01:09:51.470
men and heard a lot of stories.

01:09:51.529 --> 01:09:53.630
Um, did a lot of really good men.

01:09:54.545 --> 01:09:59.360
And, and then eventually, and I, at that
point I was doing a lot of radio, tv.

01:09:59.360 --> 01:10:04.340
Um, I got into TV later on,
but radio, because that was

01:10:04.340 --> 01:10:06.260
my one avenue that I could go.

01:10:06.260 --> 01:10:09.260
And I remember the first time I did
my radio, I cried before, I don't know

01:10:09.260 --> 01:10:11.990
about you, but when my girlfriend turned.

01:10:12.605 --> 01:10:14.254
Asked me to host her show.

01:10:14.254 --> 01:10:15.785
And it was a real radio show.

01:10:15.785 --> 01:10:19.264
I went into the studio and everything
and I'm like, what do I talk about?

01:10:19.325 --> 01:10:20.495
And she was like, three, two.

01:10:20.495 --> 01:10:22.025
And I'm just like, in tears.

01:10:22.205 --> 01:10:26.495
I'm like, I have no idea what to talk
about I have no idea who's listening.

01:10:26.825 --> 01:10:29.105
And I told her, I'm like, well, do you
know how many people are listening?

01:10:29.105 --> 01:10:30.605
She goes, it doesn't
matter, Becky, just talk.

01:10:30.629 --> 01:10:34.835
And I was like, and so people were
like, wow, you do radio and this is

01:10:34.835 --> 01:10:39.335
before podcasts or, I'm like, yeah, I
talked to a microphone for two hours.

01:10:39.365 --> 01:10:40.325
It's pretty sexy.

01:10:41.254 --> 01:10:46.565
So, um, and I have no idea like
what's gonna happen with that.

01:10:46.835 --> 01:10:50.375
But it got me into the public
eye and started speaking

01:10:50.375 --> 01:10:51.875
and doing coaching programs.

01:10:51.934 --> 01:10:56.044
And a lot of people were coming to me
for weight loss just because of my story.

01:10:56.044 --> 01:10:59.224
But it was difficult for me to make
money doing that because I did it

01:10:59.224 --> 01:11:02.285
through a step program, which was free.

01:11:03.665 --> 01:11:07.025
I even moved to Ireland
and spent a year there.

01:11:07.894 --> 01:11:09.125
I'd never been outta the country.

01:11:10.205 --> 01:11:14.525
but I realized I worked with, um,
it took me three years to realize

01:11:14.525 --> 01:11:19.504
that they were crooks and they were
taking people and they were using

01:11:19.504 --> 01:11:24.575
my good name and my good story and
my goodwill, because people trust me

01:11:24.844 --> 01:11:26.195
almost immediately when I meet them.

01:11:26.195 --> 01:11:27.304
That's just who they are.

01:11:27.455 --> 01:11:29.075
That's who I am, I should say.

01:11:29.674 --> 01:11:31.894
Um, they needed that.

01:11:32.705 --> 01:11:34.144
order for that business to go.

01:11:34.144 --> 01:11:39.184
But it, it also taught me a lot
about life in, it opened my eyes

01:11:39.184 --> 01:11:41.555
to be not as trusting of people.

01:11:42.335 --> 01:11:46.235
Um, and I hate to say that, but it's,
that's when I started going, okay, I need

01:11:46.235 --> 01:11:49.535
to start vetting people like in my life.

01:11:49.535 --> 01:11:52.295
I'm not just gonna open the
door and let anybody in.

01:11:52.775 --> 01:11:59.405
Um, but I came back from that a
little bit more, um, focused on

01:11:59.434 --> 01:12:01.205
how do I serve and help people?

01:12:01.205 --> 01:12:04.565
And one of the things that came to my
mind today when you were talking about

01:12:04.565 --> 01:12:11.795
the 10 years, was I truly believe that
every single one of us has a purpose.

01:12:11.795 --> 01:12:13.565
And a, mean, God.

01:12:14.135 --> 01:12:18.725
God sees our strengths and he sees
our weaknesses, and he sees the

01:12:18.725 --> 01:12:20.495
people that he wants us to serve.

01:12:20.495 --> 01:12:24.485
And I oftentimes have my coaching
friends call me when they're in the

01:12:24.485 --> 01:12:28.385
middle of their disaster, and they're
just like, Becky, why is this happening?

01:12:28.385 --> 01:12:28.745
Why?

01:12:28.805 --> 01:12:34.175
And I'm, and I am a real, real true
believer every single thing that you go

01:12:34.175 --> 01:12:37.445
through is happening for you, not to you.

01:12:39.275 --> 01:12:42.155
And when it's happening for
you, then what's the lesson?

01:12:42.884 --> 01:12:43.105
Jethro Jones: Yep.

01:12:44.875 --> 01:12:49.980
Yeah, I, I, this, this piece
is, is so valuable and we gotta

01:12:49.980 --> 01:12:54.240
take a second to talk about it
because if, if you think that.

01:12:55.025 --> 01:12:59.735
That these things are happening
for any reason other than for

01:12:59.735 --> 01:13:02.075
you, then it is devastating

01:13:02.535 --> 01:13:02.855
Becky Sampson: Absolutely

01:13:03.155 --> 01:13:06.065
Jethro Jones: because if, if
you think that it's because of

01:13:06.065 --> 01:13:09.845
something you've done, you've done,
then you're, you're gonna have

01:13:09.845 --> 01:13:11.855
guilt, uh, and shame around that.

01:13:11.885 --> 01:13:15.065
If you think that it's because of
something somebody else has done,

01:13:15.275 --> 01:13:16.684
then you're gonna be a victim.

01:13:17.135 --> 01:13:22.325
But if you are like, Hey, this is to
prepare me for whatever God has in store

01:13:22.325 --> 01:13:28.684
for me, then it is empowering to go
through trials and it is hopeful to go

01:13:28.684 --> 01:13:36.155
through trials and it totally changes the
game because it, it makes it so that you

01:13:36.155 --> 01:13:41.465
are seeking and looking for the blessings
in God's hand in those little things

01:13:41.795 --> 01:13:47.974
instead of thinking that they are, somehow
there's this weird, like, fate thing

01:13:47.974 --> 01:13:52.684
that happens that is you have no control
over, you are given these opportunities

01:13:52.684 --> 01:13:54.965
for your profit and learning, and

01:13:55.455 --> 01:13:55.675
Becky Sampson: or

01:13:55.715 --> 01:13:56.525
Jethro Jones: that's amazing.

01:13:56.720 --> 01:13:56.930
Becky Sampson: Or

01:13:57.035 --> 01:13:57.515
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:13:57.920 --> 01:13:58.220
Becky Sampson: like

01:13:58.265 --> 01:13:58.595
Jethro Jones: Okay.

01:13:58.595 --> 01:13:59.195
Talk about that

01:13:59.510 --> 01:14:04.070
Becky Sampson: so what I'm saying is,
is that you, God allows us to experience

01:14:04.070 --> 01:14:07.070
these things to learn and to grow or.

01:14:07.565 --> 01:14:09.275
We can choose not to grow through them.

01:14:09.635 --> 01:14:10.355
Jethro Jones: exactly.

01:14:10.355 --> 01:14:10.655
Becky Sampson: I'm saying.

01:14:10.835 --> 01:14:16.205
They're there for you if you want to learn
and grow through it, or you'll stay stuck.

01:14:16.805 --> 01:14:17.375
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:14:17.405 --> 01:14:19.565
Becky Sampson: of the things that
just came to me too, a story,

01:14:19.625 --> 01:14:24.275
um, after my husband and I, my
first husband, we had done that

01:14:24.275 --> 01:14:25.835
interview, remember that three years

01:14:26.135 --> 01:14:26.405
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:14:27.005 --> 01:14:27.965
Becky Sampson: we did the interview.

01:14:28.115 --> 01:14:31.745
He, he came by my apartment for
some reason, I can't remember.

01:14:33.035 --> 01:14:35.465
And, um, or maybe it was
before that, I can't remember.

01:14:35.885 --> 01:14:40.835
Anyway, he came to me and, um, and
we had a wonderful interaction.

01:14:40.894 --> 01:14:44.135
And, and I turned, I was, I
used to have a porch swing on

01:14:44.135 --> 01:14:45.695
my condo where we used to live.

01:14:46.535 --> 01:14:48.665
one time I was listening
to a song called Wicked.

01:14:49.115 --> 01:14:51.005
Have you ever heard that song?

01:14:51.035 --> 01:14:51.455
Wicked?

01:14:51.514 --> 01:14:52.865
Um, for Good.

01:14:53.780 --> 01:14:54.920
Jethro Jones: No, I don't think I have.

01:14:54.934 --> 01:14:58.264
Becky Sampson: got, you gotta, like,
I, I, I've heard that song before

01:14:58.264 --> 01:15:03.665
many, many times, but for some reason
that day I heard every single word.

01:15:03.875 --> 01:15:06.755
And basically the song means meaning.

01:15:06.815 --> 01:15:10.144
Look, we came into each other's
life for a reason and a season,

01:15:10.684 --> 01:15:12.365
and I may never see you again.

01:15:13.144 --> 01:15:17.375
However you left an impact in my
life because I'm better because.

01:15:17.780 --> 01:15:18.440
I met you.

01:15:19.490 --> 01:15:20.925
That's the message I got.

01:15:21.680 --> 01:15:25.010
I thought, oh my gosh, that's the
reason why I went through all of

01:15:25.010 --> 01:15:27.380
that craziness in my marriage.

01:15:27.980 --> 01:15:32.060
And, um, and, and so then I started
writing messages to him texting

01:15:32.060 --> 01:15:33.440
him, saying, thank you so much.

01:15:33.800 --> 01:15:35.480
And he was like, so confused.

01:15:35.510 --> 01:15:39.740
He was like, why are you like, and
I'm like, no, no, no, I get it.

01:15:39.920 --> 01:15:40.970
I now get it.

01:15:41.030 --> 01:15:48.440
That it was supposed to be because he
really, that relationship, um, beat

01:15:48.440 --> 01:15:53.630
the hell out of me, meaning the part
of me that I needed to address the

01:15:53.630 --> 01:15:57.860
part of me that that was, that was low
self-esteem, that didn't understand

01:15:57.860 --> 01:15:59.450
who my val, what my value was.

01:16:00.380 --> 01:16:06.080
that hellish part out that was in me at
that point, I was able to process because

01:16:06.080 --> 01:16:13.490
he was instrumental in standing in that
space as we went through this together.

01:16:14.450 --> 01:16:19.370
And so did, I I I, at that point, and
this is what I say to people coming

01:16:19.370 --> 01:16:23.630
outta divorces is, or any difficult
relationship is, is that you look

01:16:23.630 --> 01:16:30.200
back, the, the sweet spot is when you
can get to love acceptance, um, and

01:16:30.200 --> 01:16:34.790
appreciation for that relationship,
and then now you're ready to move on.

01:16:36.620 --> 01:16:39.980
And that was, that was a
really big moment for me.

01:16:40.430 --> 01:16:44.180
Um, it took him a little bit longer
to get there, then when we did our

01:16:44.180 --> 01:16:45.950
interview, he's like, I got, I, I get it.

01:16:46.309 --> 01:16:46.790
I get it.

01:16:47.340 --> 01:16:47.700
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:16:48.000 --> 01:16:49.669
Becky Sampson: still, he goes,
I'm still on the journey.

01:16:49.669 --> 01:16:52.309
It doesn't, is a journey,
not a destination.

01:16:52.309 --> 01:16:55.639
That's a very cliche thing to say, but
if you really, really understand that,

01:16:56.089 --> 01:16:57.169
it's same thing with my weight loss.

01:16:57.169 --> 01:17:00.349
Just because I hit my goal weight
for the first time in my life.

01:17:00.379 --> 01:17:04.250
I quit my job divorced all in
the same month of July, 2010.

01:17:04.920 --> 01:17:05.400
Jethro Jones: Wow.

01:17:05.815 --> 01:17:10.730
Becky Sampson: I literally, I, I mean, I
re I did a total reset, it was interesting

01:17:10.730 --> 01:17:13.549
when, when I started struggling with
my weight again, I'm like, oh, this

01:17:13.549 --> 01:17:15.349
is a des this is not a destination.

01:17:15.559 --> 01:17:17.990
Like I have to keep working at it.

01:17:17.990 --> 01:17:20.809
I have to keep myself.

01:17:21.650 --> 01:17:26.059
And so that's an important thing to
think is that, you know, and when

01:17:26.059 --> 01:17:30.530
it's really happening for you, then
I like to do a lot of journaling.

01:17:30.530 --> 01:17:35.269
I don't know about you, but I, I
write, or I, I even use a lot of audio.

01:17:35.269 --> 01:17:38.330
I'll do videos for myself,
nobody else, but for me.

01:17:39.440 --> 01:17:44.059
And I'll start just processing and
going, Hey, what, what does that, you

01:17:44.059 --> 01:17:45.169
know, what was that supposed to mean?

01:17:45.169 --> 01:17:48.930
And, you know, what we talk about in
the church about pondering, but Satan

01:17:48.930 --> 01:17:51.090
likes to keep us really, really busy

01:17:51.850 --> 01:17:53.980
Jethro Jones: Oh, a amen.

01:17:54.370 --> 01:17:56.680
I You go ahead and say what
you're gonna say, but I got a

01:17:56.680 --> 01:17:58.090
lot to say about this right now.

01:17:58.440 --> 01:17:59.280
Becky Sampson: well,
we're gonna, we're gonna,

01:17:59.440 --> 01:17:59.860
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:17:59.940 --> 01:18:02.430
Becky Sampson: look, we'll talk
about it because, because if he

01:18:02.430 --> 01:18:07.230
can keep us busy and, and when we
go to the temple, we slow down.

01:18:07.920 --> 01:18:09.510
When we go to nature, we slow down.

01:18:10.500 --> 01:18:15.270
And so if, and, and this happens with
families, with kids, with careers,

01:18:15.270 --> 01:18:19.950
with everything like you and I,
I, I mean, I'm so busy right now.

01:18:20.310 --> 01:18:24.210
However, I have a beautiful
husband now who, who says,

01:18:24.210 --> 01:18:25.320
look, we gotta take a break.

01:18:25.350 --> 01:18:27.090
We're unplugging for three days.

01:18:27.120 --> 01:18:27.360
We're gonna,

01:18:27.420 --> 01:18:27.690
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:18:27.990 --> 01:18:28.710
Becky Sampson: like, okay.

01:18:28.860 --> 01:18:29.220
Awesome.

01:18:30.060 --> 01:18:36.360
yes, talk about that, uh, what your
experiences in, in unplugging to

01:18:36.660 --> 01:18:39.960
Jethro Jones: Well, it, so I'm
listening to this amazing podcast

01:18:39.960 --> 01:18:43.140
called The Ancient Tradition, which
I suggest to everybody check out.

01:18:43.140 --> 01:18:51.600
And it talks about the, that God
revealed his truth to, uh, the ancients

01:18:51.720 --> 01:18:57.955
long ago, like Adam and Eve and to
other early ancient people in all

01:18:57.955 --> 01:19:03.540
over the world and, and the, what
she calls the stubborn bits of that

01:19:03.540 --> 01:19:05.055
have persisted all throughout time.

01:19:05.355 --> 01:19:05.575
Becky Sampson: Mm

01:19:05.910 --> 01:19:11.310
Jethro Jones: And the thing that's really
fascinating is that they understood

01:19:11.310 --> 01:19:14.010
things that we still don't understand.

01:19:14.460 --> 01:19:18.240
And the only way that they could
understand them was spiritually because

01:19:18.240 --> 01:19:22.110
they didn't have the math and the science
and the technology to be able to tell.

01:19:22.500 --> 01:19:25.410
And so things like how the stars
worked and, and all that kind

01:19:25.410 --> 01:19:29.250
of stuff, they understood what
astrophysicists are just now.

01:19:29.520 --> 01:19:31.950
Starting to get a, get a grasp on.

01:19:32.130 --> 01:19:36.600
And, and it's so fascinating
because they didn't have all the

01:19:36.600 --> 01:19:38.670
technology and stuff that we have.

01:19:39.060 --> 01:19:45.630
And I keep thinking there's, the
world is telling me that I need to

01:19:45.630 --> 01:19:50.490
do all these things to provide for
my family and, and take care of them.

01:19:50.790 --> 01:19:56.370
And what I really have to do is
surrender and let God put those things

01:19:56.370 --> 01:19:57.720
in my life that need to be there.

01:19:57.750 --> 01:20:01.260
And, and that has taken a
tremendous amount of faith.

01:20:01.290 --> 01:20:06.150
And the thing that it really
requires is the trust in him

01:20:06.150 --> 01:20:08.100
that he's going to make it work.

01:20:08.400 --> 01:20:14.310
And also taking time to step away
from all the distractions and all

01:20:14.310 --> 01:20:18.960
the things that are trying to get my
attention and be still and just listen

01:20:19.260 --> 01:20:21.840
to what he is trying to tell me.

01:20:22.170 --> 01:20:23.760
And so I do these things.

01:20:23.790 --> 01:20:24.840
I, I walk to the gym.

01:20:24.840 --> 01:20:25.770
It's a mile from my house.

01:20:25.770 --> 01:20:28.230
I walk there every morning and I exercise.

01:20:28.290 --> 01:20:31.800
And many mornings I do
what I call prayer walks.

01:20:31.820 --> 01:20:32.040
Becky Sampson: Mm.

01:20:32.340 --> 01:20:38.880
Jethro Jones: And so I'm, I'm praying
as I'm walking and it is when I kneel to

01:20:38.880 --> 01:20:47.250
pray before bed or, or in the morning or
any other time, I. I'm doing it to bless

01:20:47.250 --> 01:20:51.990
a meal or to get ready for something,
and I rush through it, and I do not give

01:20:51.990 --> 01:20:54.150
it the time and attention that it needs.

01:20:54.570 --> 01:21:00.150
Uh, but when I do prayer walks, I, I
know I've got the next 20 minutes to walk

01:21:00.150 --> 01:21:03.330
that mile that I can just talk with God.

01:21:03.510 --> 01:21:04.920
And, and

01:21:04.965 --> 01:21:05.745
Becky Sampson: Love that.

01:21:06.060 --> 01:21:10.950
Jethro Jones: taking that time away
and letting everything just not, not

01:21:10.950 --> 01:21:13.800
worry about it, is, is really powerful.

01:21:13.800 --> 01:21:19.950
And, and I've been thinking a lot lately
that I, I'm so busy and I'm trying

01:21:19.950 --> 01:21:28.200
to do so much and I need to just calm
down and relax and disconnect and not

01:21:28.200 --> 01:21:32.250
be so, so hyperconnected all the time.

01:21:32.250 --> 01:21:37.890
So I'm trying to not have my phone
with me at all during parts of the day.

01:21:38.220 --> 01:21:40.650
I'm trying to put my phone
away earlier at night.

01:21:40.650 --> 01:21:47.250
I'm trying to not be on social media and
all these things that, that take me away.

01:21:47.250 --> 01:21:51.930
I'm trying to read more and think
deeper about things and, and

01:21:51.930 --> 01:21:54.240
that pondering is so important.

01:21:54.330 --> 01:21:58.260
And, and the key thing is, is
that it's not just about pondering

01:21:58.290 --> 01:22:01.320
as in just thinking randomly.

01:22:01.320 --> 01:22:06.330
It's about being open to the
revelation whenever it comes and

01:22:06.630 --> 01:22:07.545
Becky Sampson: intentional.

01:22:07.890 --> 01:22:08.610
Jethro Jones: yes.

01:22:08.655 --> 01:22:13.035
Becky Sampson: the thing
is, is that, and I, I, amen.

01:22:13.365 --> 01:22:13.815
Okay.

01:22:13.905 --> 01:22:15.285
Amen to what you've said.

01:22:15.975 --> 01:22:19.695
The Lord cannot communicate
with us unless we're silent.

01:22:20.950 --> 01:22:22.095
Now, I shouldn't say that.

01:22:22.095 --> 01:22:27.525
He, sometimes however, we
get more inspiration when

01:22:27.525 --> 01:22:28.965
we're silent and when we're

01:22:29.050 --> 01:22:34.065
Jethro Jones: I, I'll say it this
way, we, the Lord, can, can and is

01:22:34.065 --> 01:22:36.175
communicating with us all the time.

01:22:36.475 --> 01:22:36.555
Becky Sampson: true.

01:22:36.555 --> 01:22:36.995
That's true,

01:22:37.295 --> 01:22:41.325
Jethro Jones: We cannot hear him
when we're not silent and still.

01:22:41.685 --> 01:22:45.015
And so he is, he is constantly ready.

01:22:45.255 --> 01:22:48.465
So let me share this brief thing.

01:22:48.465 --> 01:22:51.045
I, I moved, I live in Spokane, Washington.

01:22:51.045 --> 01:22:54.645
I moved here five years
ago, um, almost to the day.

01:22:54.645 --> 01:22:58.215
And I also graduated high
school from here because I moved

01:22:58.215 --> 01:23:00.645
outta my house at 15 or 16.

01:23:01.005 --> 01:23:02.055
Uh, like you did.

01:23:02.055 --> 01:23:04.275
I lived with my sister for the
last two years of high school.

01:23:04.305 --> 01:23:05.715
Also barely graduated high school.

01:23:05.715 --> 01:23:07.785
So, so we have that in common also.

01:23:07.845 --> 01:23:07.965
Yeah.

01:23:08.415 --> 01:23:13.605
So, um, so I graduated from high school
here and ever since I moved here, I have

01:23:13.605 --> 01:23:20.895
had these dreams that I am, that I am back
in school and I'm fighting against it like

01:23:20.895 --> 01:23:23.565
I am back in high school again and again.

01:23:23.655 --> 01:23:25.245
And, and this has been happening.

01:23:25.650 --> 01:23:29.340
Uh, at least monthly
for the last five years.

01:23:29.670 --> 01:23:34.110
And these dreams are so vivid
and so real there, there's

01:23:34.110 --> 01:23:35.640
gotta be something else to it.

01:23:35.970 --> 01:23:40.500
So literally on Monday morning, I woke
up from another one of these dreams

01:23:40.800 --> 01:23:47.160
and I was like, God, why am I still
having these dreams and clear as day?

01:23:47.580 --> 01:23:53.250
Uh, the, the lesson came, you
are in a doctoral program.

01:23:53.340 --> 01:23:55.980
You are supposed to be doing
your doctoral program right now.

01:23:56.550 --> 01:24:02.370
And this is for, it doesn't make any
sense why I am doing a doctor right now.

01:24:02.670 --> 01:24:03.720
It really doesn't.

01:24:03.750 --> 01:24:04.140
Becky Sampson: Hmm.

01:24:04.470 --> 01:24:06.540
Jethro Jones: And the Lord was so clear.

01:24:07.050 --> 01:24:10.380
You, you are having these
dreams because you are supposed

01:24:10.380 --> 01:24:11.400
to be getting your doctorate.

01:24:11.400 --> 01:24:16.950
So quit your complaining and whining
about it and, and finish it because

01:24:16.950 --> 01:24:21.030
I just finished all my coursework
and I just have my dissertation left.

01:24:21.240 --> 01:24:24.750
And let me tell you, it makes no
sense why I'm in this program.

01:24:24.780 --> 01:24:28.560
It does not help me professionally,
at least that I can see.

01:24:28.830 --> 01:24:34.890
And, and in that stillness of me just
waking up and saying What's going on?

01:24:34.980 --> 01:24:36.810
Becky Sampson: You asked
the right question.

01:24:37.170 --> 01:24:37.980
Jethro Jones: Yes.

01:24:38.105 --> 01:24:38.190
And

01:24:38.490 --> 01:24:41.010
Becky Sampson: You know, the interesting
I, I've learned that too, is that,

01:24:41.015 --> 01:24:44.190
and, and I have a friend of mine that
I met many years ago that was so good

01:24:44.190 --> 01:24:45.780
at asking God the right question.

01:24:46.560 --> 01:24:48.905
I'm like, ah, can you
make a book for me like

01:24:49.205 --> 01:24:49.425
Jethro Jones: out.

01:24:49.470 --> 01:24:49.680
Becky Sampson: that?

01:24:49.725 --> 01:24:50.280
I can ask.

01:24:50.280 --> 01:24:52.740
'cause you know, we, you
ask the right question.

01:24:52.740 --> 01:24:54.750
You're like, help me understand

01:24:55.155 --> 01:24:55.575
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:24:55.890 --> 01:24:57.210
Becky Sampson: I'm experiencing this.

01:24:57.210 --> 01:24:58.620
What am I supposed to be learning?

01:24:59.070 --> 01:25:00.360
How am I supposed to be growing?

01:25:00.660 --> 01:25:03.660
And, and that's funny that you said
that too, because after my dad died,

01:25:03.990 --> 01:25:06.540
I was only a week left my mission.

01:25:06.660 --> 01:25:11.160
But I, I had, can't even tell you how
many times I dreamt about me going back

01:25:11.160 --> 01:25:12.300
and having to finish my mission, like.

01:25:13.015 --> 01:25:13.255
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:25:13.980 --> 01:25:14.670
Becky Sampson: It's like, what?

01:25:15.030 --> 01:25:15.960
I mean, I was back in my mission.

01:25:15.960 --> 01:25:17.370
I'm like, how do I explain this?

01:25:17.460 --> 01:25:19.350
And I can't tell you how
many dreams I've had.

01:25:20.430 --> 01:25:23.970
I mean, I just told my husband today,
or a couple days ago that I used

01:25:23.970 --> 01:25:27.660
to dream for the last 15 years that
I was back with my first husband.

01:25:27.660 --> 01:25:30.990
And I had to explain to people
why I was back with him.

01:25:32.040 --> 01:25:34.830
I, I mean, so, so dreams.

01:25:34.980 --> 01:25:37.950
You know, God does communicate
to us in those dreams.

01:25:39.210 --> 01:25:42.120
if we're not paying attention,
that's what I, I guess that's my

01:25:42.120 --> 01:25:45.270
point, is that you said we have to
be still and being paying attention.

01:25:45.300 --> 01:25:49.830
I'm definitely gonna do your, the,
the prayer, rock prayer walks,

01:25:49.830 --> 01:25:56.400
because is a time that, and I don't
know, he talks to me in the shower.

01:25:57.215 --> 01:25:57.455
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:25:57.510 --> 01:25:59.910
Becky Sampson: mean, it's, so, it's
those times where you're like, you

01:25:59.910 --> 01:26:01.950
just are totally, I don't know.

01:26:01.950 --> 01:26:05.280
And then a thought comes in and goes,
oh my gosh, even with the way that you

01:26:05.280 --> 01:26:09.570
and I communicated or, or got connected
because you interviewed somebody

01:26:10.230 --> 01:26:11.670
you didn't know why you were doing

01:26:12.065 --> 01:26:12.485
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:26:13.140 --> 01:26:15.475
Becky Sampson: and then it might
be a good fit for, for me and

01:26:15.480 --> 01:26:16.530
the business that I'm doing now.

01:26:16.530 --> 01:26:19.230
But it's like, he, you are right.

01:26:19.230 --> 01:26:20.820
He's always communicating.

01:26:20.820 --> 01:26:22.105
I call him God drops

01:26:22.405 --> 01:26:22.825
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:26:23.125 --> 01:26:25.830
Becky Sampson: because I'm like,
okay, God, I know that was you.

01:26:26.640 --> 01:26:32.430
know you, you created this communication
or this connection, or whatever.

01:26:32.430 --> 01:26:34.050
And I, I learned it the most.

01:26:34.050 --> 01:26:36.600
Let me just kind of tell you a little
bit more about my story and then you'll

01:26:36.600 --> 01:26:42.900
see why I, I. feel like that's probably
one of the greatest things and why a

01:26:42.900 --> 01:26:47.112
lot of the prophets and the apostles
are saying, we need to hear him.

01:26:47.940 --> 01:26:49.230
need to hear him.

01:26:49.560 --> 01:26:53.790
And in order to hear him, you know, he
communicates differently with everybody.

01:26:54.090 --> 01:26:56.340
However, it's a very
personal relationship.

01:26:56.340 --> 01:27:03.390
But when I, um, I, so I was single for
eight years and, um, I had circled, I

01:27:03.390 --> 01:27:05.910
was going for a trip down to Vegas again.

01:27:05.940 --> 01:27:06.450
I guess.

01:27:06.480 --> 01:27:07.020
That's funny.

01:27:07.230 --> 01:27:08.910
Let's going to Vegas for a business trip.

01:27:08.970 --> 01:27:12.750
And I happened to look up who I knew in
St. George and I knew a friend of mine.

01:27:13.500 --> 01:27:15.420
so I looked him up and he's
like, Hey, yeah, we should go

01:27:15.420 --> 01:27:16.680
dancing and blah, blah, blah.

01:27:16.685 --> 01:27:20.940
And, and uh, it just so happened that I,
um, he lived down there and he's like,

01:27:20.940 --> 01:27:23.790
why don't you come stay at night and we'll
go dancing and take you out and whatever.

01:27:23.790 --> 01:27:31.530
And, um, we ended up, started dating,
um, and shortly after we started

01:27:31.530 --> 01:27:37.320
dating, um, he was much older than
I was and we just had a lot of fun

01:27:37.620 --> 01:27:44.370
and he, we ended up getting married,
um, a year after we started dating.

01:27:44.760 --> 01:27:48.330
Um, it was kind of an interesting
journey because I had doubts

01:27:48.660 --> 01:27:50.820
kind of all up against that time.

01:27:51.330 --> 01:27:53.340
But we did end up getting married.

01:27:53.340 --> 01:27:56.400
We went to, um, Hawaii on our honeymoon.

01:27:57.270 --> 01:28:01.260
And I told him when we first got married,
I said, look, um, this is my last rodeo.

01:28:01.290 --> 01:28:03.000
I'm not doing this again.

01:28:03.030 --> 01:28:06.210
You know, and he had
been single for 20 years.

01:28:06.525 --> 01:28:08.073
And we went to Hawaii.

01:28:08.205 --> 01:28:12.075
We were there for a month and the very
last day that we were in Hawaii, he

01:28:12.075 --> 01:28:14.385
was a retired, retired police officer.

01:28:14.385 --> 01:28:17.175
And we were at the Polynesian
Culture Center and we were talking

01:28:17.175 --> 01:28:20.235
to some missionaries, some senior
missionaries, and they're like,

01:28:20.295 --> 01:28:21.555
oh my gosh, you need to come here.

01:28:21.555 --> 01:28:22.965
They're looking for security.

01:28:23.085 --> 01:28:25.275
Come work with us at the PCC.

01:28:26.385 --> 01:28:29.715
And I remember leaving
that day going, what?

01:28:30.435 --> 01:28:35.295
Like, we just got married like
three weeks, four weeks before that,

01:28:35.955 --> 01:28:39.165
and wanted us to move to Hawaii.

01:28:40.215 --> 01:28:44.535
Um, and we came back, we thought about
it and it was a couple more months.

01:28:44.535 --> 01:28:45.885
And, and he was determined.

01:28:45.885 --> 01:28:47.895
He's like, we're, we're
moving to Hawaii like that.

01:28:47.895 --> 01:28:48.765
We're gonna do this.

01:28:48.765 --> 01:28:49.665
It's gonna be fun.

01:28:49.670 --> 01:28:54.735
And, and I was like, wow, this is,
you know, I was at the time doing

01:28:54.735 --> 01:28:58.185
a lot of coaching and, and wanted
to get my coaching program going.

01:28:58.605 --> 01:29:01.185
And this was a total derail, right?

01:29:01.185 --> 01:29:06.345
Like, I'm gonna go to Hawaii and
I'm gonna, um, I knew two people on

01:29:06.345 --> 01:29:10.365
the island, a gal that, that her dad
used to be my bishop and her husband.

01:29:10.395 --> 01:29:12.765
'cause I used to be their
real estate agent in Utah.

01:29:13.515 --> 01:29:16.935
And so I was in communication with
them a lot and going, oh my gosh,

01:29:16.935 --> 01:29:18.315
I think we might get this job.

01:29:18.315 --> 01:29:20.985
And um, that was in July or June.

01:29:21.075 --> 01:29:24.945
And they offered him the job in
July or in, uh, sorry, December.

01:29:25.575 --> 01:29:27.885
And gave him two weeks to go.

01:29:28.275 --> 01:29:33.615
Get moved and I'm thinking, holy schmoley,
uh, I, I said, why don't you go ahead

01:29:33.615 --> 01:29:37.275
and then I'll stay behind and get
everything ready and get a renter and get

01:29:37.275 --> 01:29:38.835
the house all fixed up and everything.

01:29:38.835 --> 01:29:43.245
And sure enough, he went, I went
out once and then went out twice, I

01:29:43.245 --> 01:29:47.355
guess, but I stayed behind for about
three and a half months from the

01:29:47.355 --> 01:29:50.145
minute we got married, this husband.

01:29:50.205 --> 01:29:54.675
Um, and I was, I was at my goal
weight and, but one of the things

01:29:54.675 --> 01:29:59.475
that he said to me, look, if you
gain weight, like that's a problem.

01:30:00.105 --> 01:30:04.095
And you know, I had been a goal
weight for a long time and he

01:30:04.095 --> 01:30:05.625
obviously was attracted to that.

01:30:06.105 --> 01:30:11.595
Um, but the minute we got married, he,
he immediately told me that I needed

01:30:11.595 --> 01:30:18.075
to get a boob job and that I needed to,
alter, you know, get my hair needed to

01:30:18.075 --> 01:30:24.015
be black, my nails to be done certain
way, that I needed to work out my arms.

01:30:24.015 --> 01:30:25.395
I needed to be more toned.

01:30:25.725 --> 01:30:31.905
And I was like, uh, you know, so
it was a difficult on, know, I saw

01:30:31.905 --> 01:30:34.065
some problems on the honeymoon.

01:30:34.125 --> 01:30:36.555
We had some issues and I
thought, man, this is what it's

01:30:36.555 --> 01:30:37.815
about when people get married.

01:30:38.505 --> 01:30:42.765
And then, um, you know, they,
they come home and get an, an alt.

01:30:43.185 --> 01:30:46.305
I mean, that's where I was
like, I am, I'm just not.

01:30:46.695 --> 01:30:49.995
And I told him he had a dream,
actually, speaking of dreams, he had

01:30:49.996 --> 01:30:52.125
a dream once before we got married.

01:30:52.125 --> 01:30:56.145
And actually I think it was before we
even got engaged where I was in a fire.

01:30:56.220 --> 01:30:58.380
A house and he was a police officer.

01:30:58.380 --> 01:31:01.560
And so he had this dream that he was
running into the house yelling at me

01:31:01.560 --> 01:31:03.930
to get out of the house to save me.

01:31:04.140 --> 01:31:06.510
And I was like, you
don't tell me what to do.

01:31:07.260 --> 01:31:09.150
what I said in the dream to him.

01:31:10.440 --> 01:31:13.530
And I'm like, well, so do you
not know that that's who I am?

01:31:13.530 --> 01:31:16.710
You don't you, you just
don't tell me what to do.

01:31:16.740 --> 01:31:21.090
I mean, there's ways to guide me and,
but I'm just one of those rebels.

01:31:22.020 --> 01:31:25.860
um, it was, it was difficult that
first couple months of our marriage.

01:31:25.860 --> 01:31:29.970
But when he finally moved to Hawaii
and I stayed behind to get everything

01:31:29.970 --> 01:31:37.170
ready, I then got to Hawaii in April
and our first dinner, I, he had told

01:31:37.170 --> 01:31:40.110
me so many times, you to do a boob job.

01:31:40.110 --> 01:31:40.740
I'll pay for it.

01:31:41.040 --> 01:31:45.390
I'm like, I'm not putting a
foreign object in my body.

01:31:46.650 --> 01:31:50.490
I, I, no, I had worked so hard,
actually, I had reversed every

01:31:50.490 --> 01:31:54.720
single medical condition I had
when I had lost all my weight.

01:31:54.720 --> 01:31:58.920
And I, and I had done all kinds
of research about that stuff and

01:31:58.920 --> 01:32:00.480
um, and he was willing to pay it.

01:32:00.570 --> 01:32:04.800
He was like, Hey, you know, I
even met with my doctor and I

01:32:04.800 --> 01:32:05.850
said, no, it's not right for me.

01:32:05.850 --> 01:32:09.720
So the first day back on the island,
to dinner and I said, just so you

01:32:09.720 --> 01:32:13.470
know, I'm not gonna do that and I
don't you ever bring it up again?

01:32:14.550 --> 01:32:16.350
And I was just like, I'm not, no.

01:32:16.470 --> 01:32:21.030
And I think that was when he first
really, really realized that like.

01:32:21.690 --> 01:32:22.740
Something wasn't right.

01:32:22.890 --> 01:32:25.560
You know, it, it, he's just
like, I can't control her.

01:32:26.220 --> 01:32:27.720
So we went a couple more months.

01:32:27.780 --> 01:32:32.850
Um, I ended up landing a TV show
in Hawaii because I knew nobody.

01:32:32.910 --> 01:32:35.460
And I went to a networking
event and somebody said, Hey

01:32:35.460 --> 01:32:36.600
Becky, you'd be great for tv.

01:32:36.600 --> 01:32:37.945
There's a community TV show.

01:32:38.520 --> 01:32:39.630
I said, sure, I'd love to do it.

01:32:39.660 --> 01:32:41.730
That's gonna force me to get
out in the community and get to

01:32:41.730 --> 01:32:43.320
know people and interview them.

01:32:43.320 --> 01:32:45.060
And I love that venue, venue.

01:32:45.060 --> 01:32:48.540
And sure enough, I did
it well in the process.

01:32:48.570 --> 01:32:52.770
Um, part of him working for the Polynesian
Culture Center gave us free education.

01:32:53.430 --> 01:32:55.740
he said, why don't you go back
and finish your education?

01:32:55.740 --> 01:32:58.050
And I said, well, do you
want me to continue looking

01:32:58.050 --> 01:32:59.850
for a job or do you want me

01:33:02.070 --> 01:33:04.230
make you know, or go go to school?

01:33:04.350 --> 01:33:05.130
'cause we get it free.

01:33:05.490 --> 01:33:08.730
And he says, well, I think it's more
important that you get your schooling

01:33:08.730 --> 01:33:10.440
done, so to make that your full-time job.

01:33:10.650 --> 01:33:11.400
And I was like, okay.

01:33:11.490 --> 01:33:19.620
So I, I enrolled, well four months after I
had gotten to the island, um, we had been

01:33:19.620 --> 01:33:23.670
in some therapy because things were kind
of going, we were having a difficult time.

01:33:23.670 --> 01:33:25.050
I don't see him changing here.

01:33:25.110 --> 01:33:28.470
'cause like he's, he's not,
marriage is in trouble.

01:33:28.470 --> 01:33:29.700
And I was like, what the ocean?

01:33:29.700 --> 01:33:31.620
And he worked at two o'clock
in the afternoon and we.

01:33:32.620 --> 01:33:37.929
Just gotten back and he wanted me
to collect all these tax forms and

01:33:37.929 --> 01:33:39.879
tax receipts for our tax forms.

01:33:41.379 --> 01:33:45.879
he was wanting me to sign
a fraudulent tax return.

01:33:46.809 --> 01:33:47.739
And I knew it.

01:33:47.829 --> 01:33:51.309
I mean, my dad was an accounting
professor, like I'm not dumb.

01:33:51.789 --> 01:33:54.339
And I, I said, that's not legal.

01:33:54.699 --> 01:33:58.869
And he's like, well, you, we
need to have you sign it because

01:33:59.259 --> 01:34:00.459
it, it needs to be turned in.

01:34:00.459 --> 01:34:02.529
And I said, well, I'm sorry I
don't do that kind of stuff.

01:34:03.579 --> 01:34:08.469
within 10 minutes, um, he turned to me
and he says, we need to get divorced

01:34:08.469 --> 01:34:10.089
and we need to get divorced fast.

01:34:11.349 --> 01:34:11.739
And I was

01:34:11.814 --> 01:34:12.034
Jethro Jones: Wow.

01:34:12.189 --> 01:34:12.730
Becky Sampson: what?

01:34:13.209 --> 01:34:14.469
Jethro Jones: After like a year.

01:34:14.499 --> 01:34:16.329
Becky Sampson: This was just
after a year of us being

01:34:16.389 --> 01:34:16.629
Jethro Jones: Wow.

01:34:16.959 --> 01:34:19.089
Becky Sampson: and only four
months on the, on the island.

01:34:20.499 --> 01:34:23.169
And so I was like, wow.

01:34:23.469 --> 01:34:27.789
And, and I mean, so of course he
goes to work, I make some phone

01:34:27.789 --> 01:34:29.289
calls to find out what my rights are.

01:34:29.289 --> 01:34:30.189
I'm like, what do I do?

01:34:30.189 --> 01:34:31.480
You know, I'm on the island.

01:34:31.594 --> 01:34:33.159
I, I don't know hardly anybody.

01:34:34.299 --> 01:34:38.679
um, so the next day I sat him down
before he went to work and I, and

01:34:38.679 --> 01:34:42.009
we sat on the deck out on the, we,
we lived right on the beach in an

01:34:42.009 --> 01:34:43.899
apartment, we were on the deck.

01:34:43.899 --> 01:34:48.189
And I said to him, I said, will you please
help me understand, like, what, what is

01:34:48.189 --> 01:34:49.809
it that you don't like about me or what?

01:34:49.809 --> 01:34:51.549
That you don't what
they have problem with.

01:34:53.544 --> 01:34:55.614
And it was funny 'cause as
he started telling me these

01:34:55.614 --> 01:34:56.934
things, I said, wait a minute.

01:34:56.934 --> 01:34:57.594
Hold on one second.

01:34:57.594 --> 01:34:58.614
'cause I document everything.

01:34:58.974 --> 01:35:00.924
So I'm like, I need to go get my notepad.

01:35:01.344 --> 01:35:04.584
So I went and got my notebook, brought
it back, and I started writing.

01:35:04.584 --> 01:35:07.884
And I said, okay, so, so tell
me what you have a problem with.

01:35:08.094 --> 01:35:11.994
And so I'd write it down and he,
and, and I'm like, okay, what else?

01:35:12.264 --> 01:35:13.344
Like, I didn't respond.

01:35:13.344 --> 01:35:17.934
And I know it was the spirit that was
with me that day because what he was

01:35:17.934 --> 01:35:19.614
saying was just bouncing off of me.

01:35:19.614 --> 01:35:21.894
It wasn't like I wasn't
taking it personally.

01:35:21.894 --> 01:35:26.274
I just, I genuinely wanted to know
what in the heck is wrong with me

01:35:26.574 --> 01:35:28.464
that you don't wanna be married to me?

01:35:28.524 --> 01:35:29.904
And so I'd write it down.

01:35:29.964 --> 01:35:33.354
And one of the things that he said,
and he said, the best thing he, he

01:35:33.354 --> 01:35:37.494
could have ever said to me, he turned
to me in all seriousness and said,

01:35:37.494 --> 01:35:43.074
Becky, having a really hard time seeing
the value that you bring to my life.

01:35:44.259 --> 01:35:44.479
Jethro Jones: Wow.

01:35:45.954 --> 01:35:50.214
Becky Sampson: And I know the
spirit Then filled my heart and

01:35:50.214 --> 01:35:52.044
said to him, here's the good news.

01:35:53.814 --> 01:35:57.624
I know the value that I bring to
your life, whether you choose to see

01:35:57.624 --> 01:36:00.114
it or not, is none of my business.

01:36:02.119 --> 01:36:05.514
Jethro Jones: Uh, and given your
background and story, the things you've

01:36:05.514 --> 01:36:11.484
said so far, that seems totally not
characteristic of you to say that,

01:36:11.784 --> 01:36:12.774
Becky Sampson: Right, exactly

01:36:13.075 --> 01:36:13.464
Jethro Jones: yeah.

01:36:13.524 --> 01:36:14.579
That's amazing.

01:36:14.994 --> 01:36:17.184
Becky Sampson: God has this amazing way of

01:36:17.299 --> 01:36:17.749
preparing

01:36:17.784 --> 01:36:21.714
us for what we have, and I know that
that's something that you talk about

01:36:21.744 --> 01:36:24.564
is that prepared me for that moment.

01:36:25.434 --> 01:36:27.955
He prepared me to go,
Becky, you are a value.

01:36:28.375 --> 01:36:34.195
Even though this man not see you as
value, not mean you're not valuable.

01:36:34.915 --> 01:36:35.964
You are a value.

01:36:36.384 --> 01:36:39.745
Even though this man, obviously he
made all this, I don't trust you.

01:36:39.985 --> 01:36:45.124
You're not trustworthy,    I'm
like, no, he's not trustworthy, not.

01:36:45.214 --> 01:36:47.105
All of these things were projections.

01:36:48.184 --> 01:36:48.754
It wasn't.

01:36:48.995 --> 01:36:51.094
Now, it doesn't mean that
there's some not there.

01:36:51.124 --> 01:36:55.445
There's some truth to some of that,
but that was a defining moment for me.

01:36:55.445 --> 01:37:00.139
I. Where I, I finally stood up for
myself and it took another four

01:37:00.139 --> 01:37:03.299
months, of me really just like,
are you sure this is what you want?

01:37:03.299 --> 01:37:05.819
Because this is the con consequences.

01:37:05.819 --> 01:37:07.439
I even put it on a big board.

01:37:07.439 --> 01:37:09.219
I said, look, we get a divorce.

01:37:09.219 --> 01:37:10.779
This is what's gonna happen.

01:37:10.809 --> 01:37:14.589
This is, alimony, even though it was a
short marriage, there's still big board.

01:37:14.589 --> 01:37:16.249
I said, look, we get divorced.

01:37:16.249 --> 01:37:17.239
And I was like, are you kidding?

01:37:17.269 --> 01:37:19.009
Well, stuff that needs to be taken.

01:37:19.009 --> 01:37:23.249
He goes, I still want, until I went and
had and, and got all the information

01:37:23.249 --> 01:37:29.314
and went   and filed for the divorce,
but here's where God is amazing because

01:37:29.314 --> 01:37:32.314
in January I was still holding hope.

01:37:32.314 --> 01:37:35.224
I'm like, I said to him, I said, why don't
you just stay for one more year, allow

01:37:35.224 --> 01:37:37.204
me to graduate and get my schooling done?

01:37:37.984 --> 01:37:40.054
I was genuine in asking him to do that.

01:37:40.054 --> 01:37:41.854
Just stay one more year so we can do that.

01:37:42.304 --> 01:37:45.304
He went off to work that
day and the spirit whispered

01:37:45.304 --> 01:37:48.334
to me, go check his email.

01:37:50.104 --> 01:37:53.104
And I went and checked the email and
sure enough, he had already bought a

01:37:53.104 --> 01:37:55.954
couple days before that he had bought
his plane ticket off the island.

01:37:57.574 --> 01:38:04.114
And I decided personally that I would
not bring it up to him because I

01:38:04.114 --> 01:38:08.224
wanted to see if he was gonna be a man
enough to tell me when he was leaving.

01:38:09.274 --> 01:38:11.134
And um, sure enough, he didn't.

01:38:11.764 --> 01:38:12.424
He never did.

01:38:13.054 --> 01:38:15.484
And at that point I knew
my marriage was over.

01:38:16.264 --> 01:38:16.474
I

01:38:16.539 --> 01:38:16.759
Jethro Jones: Wow.

01:38:16.894 --> 01:38:19.114
Becky Sampson: he was scheming
stuff on that backend.

01:38:20.314 --> 01:38:24.214
um, I went to the courthouse within
that week and started getting my papers.

01:38:24.214 --> 01:38:28.174
It took me a couple months to fill 'em
all out, but I went and did a lot of

01:38:28.174 --> 01:38:30.694
research, went through all of this stuff.

01:38:30.694 --> 01:38:36.694
And in May, in March, so that was
January, in March, sixth to be exact,

01:38:36.754 --> 01:38:39.874
I turned my paperwork in because
I knew he was leaving in April,

01:38:40.339 --> 01:38:40.759
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:38:41.554 --> 01:38:42.784
Becky Sampson: And I
turned the paperwork in.

01:38:42.844 --> 01:38:47.044
And if you remember, in
2020, COVID was crazy.

01:38:47.524 --> 01:38:48.124
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:38:48.904 --> 01:38:51.574
Becky Sampson: and they were
closing all kinds of stuff.

01:38:51.604 --> 01:38:55.054
And in Hawaii, they're
a very liberal there.

01:38:55.774 --> 01:39:00.424
And, um, and I mean, every day
it was like day by day they were

01:39:00.424 --> 01:39:04.354
shutting more and more things down
he was trying to get off the island.

01:39:04.924 --> 01:39:10.624
And so I, I knew that I needed the
paperwork back order to serve him.

01:39:10.744 --> 01:39:13.474
'cause if he left the island, I
would not be able to serve him.

01:39:13.474 --> 01:39:14.464
I don't know where he'd go.

01:39:14.464 --> 01:39:15.424
I don't know where he is staying.

01:39:15.724 --> 01:39:18.004
'cause we had rented out the
house for a couple of years.

01:39:18.754 --> 01:39:22.204
And so I go to the court, turn
it in, don't hear anything.

01:39:22.204 --> 01:39:26.344
Two weeks later, a business partner
of mine called me and he said, he

01:39:26.344 --> 01:39:30.604
says, Becky, um, you need to go
back to the court and get them to

01:39:30.604 --> 01:39:35.074
fill out that paperwork so that
you can serve him before he leaves.

01:39:35.374 --> 01:39:37.474
So you need to go back to them
and let them know that you're

01:39:37.474 --> 01:39:40.264
leaving and or that he's leaving.

01:39:40.654 --> 01:39:42.994
So I go back, I turn the paperwork
in and the lady's like, well,

01:39:42.994 --> 01:39:44.164
you need to do an ex parte.

01:39:44.164 --> 01:39:45.334
And I was like, what's an ex parte?

01:39:45.334 --> 01:39:46.234
I don't know what I'm doing.

01:39:46.564 --> 01:39:49.594
Like, and she's like, yeah, you
need to fill out this ex parte,

01:39:49.594 --> 01:39:52.114
'cause I was in seven full, it was
like eight o'clock in the morning.

01:39:52.114 --> 01:39:55.624
I must not have gone to school that
day, by the way, until I was getting

01:39:55.689 --> 01:39:57.274
Jethro Jones: While your
life is falling apart.

01:39:57.934 --> 01:39:58.054
Yeah.

01:39:59.054 --> 01:39:59.924
Becky Sampson: at 46.

01:40:00.584 --> 01:40:04.529
So anyway, I go down, I turn that
stuff into the, and it's an hour and

01:40:04.529 --> 01:40:05.969
15 minute drive down to the court.

01:40:06.179 --> 01:40:08.789
And I'd usually just turn
around and come back.

01:40:09.719 --> 01:40:12.299
But for some reason, all know

01:40:13.334 --> 01:40:13.624
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:40:14.069 --> 01:40:16.409
Becky Sampson: I stuck around
and I did some shopping.

01:40:16.409 --> 01:40:18.329
'cause there's a Costco down
there in a Walmart and everything.

01:40:18.329 --> 01:40:20.429
And all of a sudden I get a
call from my business partner.

01:40:20.489 --> 01:40:23.669
He calls me at two o'clock in
the afternoon and he says, Becky,

01:40:24.449 --> 01:40:25.444
still around the courthouse?

01:40:25.469 --> 01:40:25.619
And I

01:40:25.744 --> 01:40:26.164
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:40:26.189 --> 01:40:27.359
Becky Sampson: that's so
funny that you asked that.

01:40:27.719 --> 01:40:28.709
I said, yes, I am.

01:40:28.889 --> 01:40:30.089
He says, you need to go back.

01:40:30.669 --> 01:40:33.729
And I said, need it for work
so that you can serve him.

01:40:34.509 --> 01:40:36.899
I go back to the courthouse,
I'm in the parking lot.

01:40:36.899 --> 01:40:40.019
I make a phone call to the clerk's
office 'cause it goes to the self-help

01:40:40.019 --> 01:40:41.459
and then goes upstairs to the clerk, to

01:40:41.464 --> 01:40:41.884
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:40:42.184 --> 01:40:42.449
Becky Sampson: judge.

01:40:43.169 --> 01:40:46.099
I talked to her and I said, look, here's
signed and it will be down situation.

01:40:46.399 --> 01:40:47.089
And she goes, give me

01:40:47.234 --> 01:40:47.454
Jethro Jones: Wow.

01:40:47.689 --> 01:40:49.459
Becky Sampson: and I'll
have it the very next day.

01:40:49.489 --> 01:40:51.529
Hey, when you work for
God, God works for you.

01:40:51.924 --> 01:40:52.344
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:40:53.344 --> 01:40:53.634
Yeah.

01:40:54.174 --> 01:40:55.494
Becky Sampson: And um,

01:40:55.794 --> 01:40:57.564
Jethro Jones: So let me ask
you a question, if I may.

01:40:58.314 --> 01:41:05.244
Why was your business partner getting
this insight and telling you and not you

01:41:05.484 --> 01:41:07.734
hearing it yourself and acting on it?

01:41:07.794 --> 01:41:08.844
What's your thought on that?

01:41:08.994 --> 01:41:09.114
Becky Sampson: I

01:41:09.129 --> 01:41:09.419
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:41:09.504 --> 01:41:10.014
Becky Sampson: I was doing.

01:41:10.734 --> 01:41:12.414
I mean, at that time I,

01:41:14.994 --> 01:41:17.124
there, there's a lot more
I could go into that.

01:41:17.244 --> 01:41:20.334
Um, however I was, I was compromised.

01:41:20.449 --> 01:41:23.094
I, I believe my safety was compromised.

01:41:23.429 --> 01:41:23.849
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:41:24.384 --> 01:41:29.904
Becky Sampson: um, and so I, I
and I, I didn't have any money.

01:41:30.024 --> 01:41:31.614
I had hardly any money to my name.

01:41:31.884 --> 01:41:33.774
I didn't know hardly
anybody on the island.

01:41:34.674 --> 01:41:37.494
And I, I and I, I didn't have any.

01:41:37.884 --> 01:41:39.144
And people were worried about,

01:41:40.044 --> 01:41:40.464
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:41:40.944 --> 01:41:46.644
Well, yeah, and the thing that I'll
add to that is God speaks to us, like

01:41:46.644 --> 01:41:51.954
we said, and sometimes he needs to
speak through other people, sometimes

01:41:51.954 --> 01:41:55.134
through dreams, sometimes through
vision, sometimes through whatever.

01:41:55.164 --> 01:41:58.074
But the thing is that God is
always looking out for us.

01:41:58.134 --> 01:42:02.214
And so sometimes that is your
business partner saying You,

01:42:02.244 --> 01:42:03.534
this is what you need to do.

01:42:03.924 --> 01:42:09.624
And, and that is God's method of
communicating with us if we are

01:42:09.624 --> 01:42:11.964
open to seeing it, which is what
we were talking about before.

01:42:12.069 --> 01:42:12.264
Right.

01:42:12.369 --> 01:42:13.239
Becky Sampson: be able to recognize that.

01:42:13.239 --> 01:42:15.879
And this is what I've learned about
God over the years, and maybe you have

01:42:15.879 --> 01:42:22.899
too, but it is this superpower, like
when you understand that God is trying

01:42:22.899 --> 01:42:24.309
to communicate to us all the time,

01:42:24.924 --> 01:42:25.254
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:42:25.554 --> 01:42:29.799
Becky Sampson: when we recognize when
he does, and then give him credit for

01:42:29.799 --> 01:42:32.589
it and say, God, I know that was you.

01:42:33.354 --> 01:42:33.774
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:42:33.789 --> 01:42:34.149
Becky Sampson: that was you.

01:42:34.149 --> 01:42:39.759
Even on the most minute thing to the,
to the bigger things like that was, um,

01:42:39.849 --> 01:42:41.739
he's like, oh, she's paying attention.

01:42:41.979 --> 01:42:42.369
I'm gonna

01:42:42.384 --> 01:42:42.834
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:42:43.659 --> 01:42:43.949
Yeah.

01:42:44.589 --> 01:42:49.629
Becky Sampson: she's, and, and so it's,
as I tuned my ear, and granted at those

01:42:49.689 --> 01:42:51.609
beginning stages, I was in absolute panic.

01:42:51.729 --> 01:42:57.729
Like and, and so it was, I finally did
stomach, but as my divorce went on,

01:42:57.759 --> 01:43:00.959
I mean that the airport when he flew,
because they were canceling flights

01:43:01.259 --> 01:43:01.679
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:43:02.679 --> 01:43:02.969
Yeah.

01:43:03.109 --> 01:43:03.529
Mm-hmm.

01:43:03.934 --> 01:43:07.354
Becky Sampson: And that was also another
God drop because I was able to serve

01:43:07.354 --> 01:43:10.714
him before he left instead of serving
him before he stayed on the island.

01:43:11.249 --> 01:43:11.539
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:43:12.124 --> 01:43:14.944
Becky Sampson: I, uh, and one of my
biggest thing is, is the day that I

01:43:14.944 --> 01:43:17.404
took him to the airport, he didn't
know I was gonna be serving him.

01:43:19.054 --> 01:43:20.134
I drove him down there.

01:43:20.494 --> 01:43:24.664
Um, there's a picture of me with tears in
my eyes because I knew how hard this was

01:43:24.664 --> 01:43:28.324
gonna be for him and me, and I let him go.

01:43:28.324 --> 01:43:29.134
He got served.

01:43:30.124 --> 01:43:35.314
but my prayer to heavenly father when
I left that airport was, please God,

01:43:35.314 --> 01:43:40.564
keep my heart soft him and towards
all other men that are in my life.

01:43:41.644 --> 01:43:46.894
Because I didn't want this
experience to make me bitter.

01:43:46.894 --> 01:43:48.244
I wanted to become better.

01:43:50.014 --> 01:43:55.204
And that, and I will tell you that
was probably one of the most growth

01:43:55.204 --> 01:43:59.464
promoting experiences of my life
because I ended up in court for three

01:43:59.464 --> 01:44:03.424
and a half years with him, 21 hearings.

01:44:04.054 --> 01:44:11.764
I ended up subpoenaing him 21 times,
multiple, um, felonies that he

01:44:11.849 --> 01:44:11.929
Jethro Jones: Hmm.

01:44:13.864 --> 01:44:17.194
Becky Sampson: and all while
getting my degree in com

01:44:19.504 --> 01:44:19.894
that he had.

01:44:21.199 --> 01:44:21.439
Conflict

01:44:21.874 --> 01:44:22.384
Jethro Jones: Crazy.

01:44:22.684 --> 01:44:25.459
Becky Sampson: and peace building,
we're going to if he was.

01:44:25.879 --> 01:44:27.979
But back to what you
talked about, those walks

01:44:28.979 --> 01:44:29.269
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:44:29.274 --> 01:44:29.514
Yeah.

01:44:30.514 --> 01:44:34.069
Becky Sampson: with God, were
those two hours every morning

01:44:34.069 --> 01:44:35.449
when I was ill on the beach.

01:44:35.944 --> 01:44:36.604
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:44:36.904 --> 01:44:40.819
Becky Sampson: me learning to communicate
with God through that process and

01:44:40.819 --> 01:44:46.909
learning to hear him and to be silent
and to, and I always say, you miss a

01:44:46.909 --> 01:44:50.419
hundred percent of the sunrises that
you don't get outta bed for because I

01:44:50.419 --> 01:44:54.829
lived the, the west side of the island.

01:44:54.829 --> 01:44:57.439
So the sun came right up in my window.

01:44:57.889 --> 01:45:00.799
'cause I lived right on the beach
and I would spend the first couple

01:45:00.799 --> 01:45:02.659
hours in the, in the ocean in the

01:45:02.794 --> 01:45:03.184
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:45:03.484 --> 01:45:03.949
Becky Sampson: mornings.

01:45:05.119 --> 01:45:06.229
that was my god time.

01:45:06.229 --> 01:45:11.239
And I had this, this playlist, I call
it the God playlist because it was, it

01:45:11.239 --> 01:45:13.279
was like, and I'd put it on rotation.

01:45:13.399 --> 01:45:16.489
And so like when I listened to that
song, it was like the perfect song.

01:45:16.489 --> 01:45:19.819
And God's like, for some reason it
was always Jesus walking on the ocean.

01:45:20.159 --> 01:45:20.579
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:45:20.959 --> 01:45:22.969
Becky Sampson: Like, I'm like, and
here I am walking on the ocean,

01:45:23.764 --> 01:45:24.214
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:45:24.349 --> 01:45:25.009
Becky Sampson: or the beach.

01:45:25.429 --> 01:45:30.589
But um, but there were so many times, and
I talked about this on another podcast the

01:45:30.589 --> 01:45:35.914
other day, that there's just so many times
where I. Would wake up in the morning

01:45:35.914 --> 01:45:37.954
during my divorce, and I knew nothing.

01:45:38.464 --> 01:45:40.894
I knew nothing about the
court system when I started.

01:45:40.954 --> 01:45:44.074
And God would go, Becky, you
need to put this motion in.

01:45:44.659 --> 01:45:45.079
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:45:45.184 --> 01:45:48.184
Becky Sampson: I would go, what, what?

01:45:48.184 --> 01:45:48.784
What's that?

01:45:49.389 --> 01:45:49.679
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:45:49.864 --> 01:45:50.524
Becky Sampson: what motion?

01:45:50.584 --> 01:45:55.594
And I'd have to go do all this research,
Becky, contact this person, write up this

01:45:55.744 --> 01:45:58.594
thing, uh, this memo for the, the judge.

01:45:59.014 --> 01:46:01.534
Do this discovery, do this subpoena.

01:46:01.864 --> 01:46:04.114
I mean, I didn't know
what the heck I was doing.

01:46:04.174 --> 01:46:07.984
And because I partnered with God,
I really felt like, and I, I won

01:46:07.984 --> 01:46:09.459
my case up against five attorneys.

01:46:09.759 --> 01:46:10.179
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:46:11.404 --> 01:46:15.274
Becky Sampson: Um, it was all said
and done, three and a half years, I

01:46:15.274 --> 01:46:18.574
did end up with an attorney and he
even took my case and was like, how

01:46:18.574 --> 01:46:20.254
in the world, girl did you get all

01:46:20.344 --> 01:46:20.794
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:46:21.574 --> 01:46:21.844
Becky Sampson: back?

01:46:21.844 --> 01:46:23.344
I think I told you about
that the other day.

01:46:23.379 --> 01:46:23.799
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:46:24.099 --> 01:46:27.904
Becky Sampson: And, um, and it was
because I couldn't afford not to

01:46:27.904 --> 01:46:32.734
get the information back and all
I, all I wanted, okay, because some

01:46:32.734 --> 01:46:36.154
people at this situation and go,
Becky, all you cared about was money.

01:46:36.184 --> 01:46:37.744
I'm like, it was never about the money.

01:46:39.424 --> 01:46:43.084
The best thing he could have ever said
is that I didn't have value and for

01:46:43.084 --> 01:46:45.124
me to be able to stand up for myself.

01:46:46.279 --> 01:46:48.949
In that court case for three
and a half years to be able

01:46:48.949 --> 01:46:50.929
to stand and go, I am a value.

01:46:51.519 --> 01:46:51.939
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:46:51.979 --> 01:46:54.949
Becky Sampson: love what my attorney
said when he first called me.

01:46:54.949 --> 01:46:58.639
'cause I was trying to prove,
you know what I did, you know?

01:46:58.999 --> 01:47:02.449
And he says, Becky, I don't care
if you sat on the couch eight bomb

01:47:02.449 --> 01:47:07.099
bonds and gained a hundred pounds,
you are still entitled to half of the

01:47:07.099 --> 01:47:09.109
increase when you've gotten married.

01:47:09.659 --> 01:47:10.079
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:47:10.639 --> 01:47:14.569
Becky Sampson: And I, and I said to
him, I said, thank you so much not

01:47:14.569 --> 01:47:17.959
making me prove my very existence.

01:47:18.394 --> 01:47:23.044
Jethro Jones: Yeah, that, that
piece is really, really powerful.

01:47:23.044 --> 01:47:27.664
There's the legal part of it, which is,
you're entitled to this because you got

01:47:27.664 --> 01:47:29.854
married and, and that's how it goes.

01:47:30.694 --> 01:47:34.684
But that means nothing compared
to the spiritual value.

01:47:35.254 --> 01:47:38.284
Of you understanding that
you really do have value.

01:47:38.344 --> 01:47:43.444
And, and to me that is just that,
that is the God drop, that is

01:47:43.444 --> 01:47:45.484
the, the spiritual nature of it.

01:47:45.484 --> 01:47:49.714
And you having the openness and
understanding and having the spirit

01:47:49.714 --> 01:47:54.994
with you saying you are valuable
at, at a point where everything in

01:47:54.994 --> 01:47:59.164
the world was telling you that you
weren't because your spouse was saying,

01:47:59.314 --> 01:48:01.174
you're not adding value to my life.

01:48:01.204 --> 01:48:05.374
And, and that is, that has got to
be a very difficult thing to go

01:48:05.374 --> 01:48:08.374
through, especially when you said,
Hey, I'm not doing this again.

01:48:08.374 --> 01:48:10.174
This is, we're committed.

01:48:10.239 --> 01:48:11.764
Becky Sampson: I, I was a
hundred percent committed.

01:48:11.764 --> 01:48:12.004
And the,

01:48:12.064 --> 01:48:12.514
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:48:12.724 --> 01:48:15.784
Becky Sampson: is, is that in
that, with and, and my husband now,

01:48:15.994 --> 01:48:19.329
I've, I'm married now for the third
time and very happily married,

01:48:19.629 --> 01:48:19.869
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:48:20.254 --> 01:48:21.064
Becky Sampson: last time

01:48:21.849 --> 01:48:22.139
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:48:22.324 --> 01:48:25.474
Becky Sampson: but he was in the same
situation I was in with his marriage.

01:48:25.714 --> 01:48:28.564
Was is that when somebody, it
takes two to get married, but it

01:48:28.564 --> 01:48:30.199
only takes one to get divorced.

01:48:30.499 --> 01:48:30.789
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:48:31.144 --> 01:48:35.584
Becky Sampson: I mean, I, I told
him I would have, I, I did give him

01:48:35.584 --> 01:48:40.624
everything that I had, like everything
because that, this was my last one.

01:48:41.014 --> 01:48:48.994
And so for me, I I, it was hard for
me when he's like, no, I'm out, like

01:48:49.369 --> 01:48:49.789
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:48:49.834 --> 01:48:52.234
Becky Sampson: and I, and when I'm
coaching with people and I have

01:48:52.234 --> 01:48:55.324
a client that's not coachable,
I, there's nothing I can do.

01:48:55.989 --> 01:48:56.409
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:48:56.614 --> 01:48:57.874
Becky Sampson: the same
thing happens with God.

01:48:58.114 --> 01:49:02.854
God can't do for us what we're
unwilling to allow him to do.

01:49:03.549 --> 01:49:03.769
Jethro Jones: Yep.

01:49:04.069 --> 01:49:08.164
Becky Sampson: so, but I was so
open and here I was on an island.

01:49:08.884 --> 01:49:11.884
I mean, I, one of the books I'd love
to write, or a chapter at least, is

01:49:11.884 --> 01:49:14.164
like living in paradise on pennies.

01:49:14.549 --> 01:49:14.969
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:49:15.669 --> 01:49:20.014
Becky Sampson: I, I still cannot
explain I stayed there for

01:49:20.044 --> 01:49:23.584
five years with no real income.

01:49:24.319 --> 01:49:24.609
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:49:24.964 --> 01:49:26.854
Becky Sampson: And
somehow God made it work.

01:49:26.854 --> 01:49:31.594
And it was like, but the interesting
thing is, is that it got to the point

01:49:31.594 --> 01:49:33.964
where I was divorced in October 22.

01:49:34.414 --> 01:49:35.194
That's October.

01:49:35.974 --> 01:49:37.384
It got to the point where I

01:49:37.489 --> 01:49:39.109
And everybody knew how

01:49:40.109 --> 01:49:40.529
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:49:42.614 --> 01:49:43.994
Becky Sampson: hard I had fought for this.

01:49:44.384 --> 01:49:46.784
I just want a fair and equitable division.

01:49:47.129 --> 01:49:47.549
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:49:47.744 --> 01:49:48.224
Becky Sampson: I wanted.

01:49:48.314 --> 01:49:51.374
And I think he was terrified that I
was gonna take him for everything.

01:49:51.374 --> 01:49:53.169
And I'm like, I never had that intention.

01:49:53.469 --> 01:49:53.759
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:49:54.254 --> 01:49:56.564
Becky Sampson: That
was never my come from.

01:49:57.584 --> 01:50:00.824
what he, you know, that's his
story and all of that stuff.

01:50:01.064 --> 01:50:03.104
I just wonder what was fair and equitable.

01:50:03.374 --> 01:50:05.354
And finally there was a finality to that.

01:50:06.014 --> 01:50:10.274
And all this time during the divorce,
I had applied for 45 different

01:50:10.274 --> 01:50:14.489
jobs and I, nobody hired me.

01:50:14.489 --> 01:50:15.944
I could not get hired.

01:50:16.304 --> 01:50:19.934
I did start a couple podcasts
and got paid $10 an hour to

01:50:20.069 --> 01:50:20.399
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:50:20.924 --> 01:50:22.004
Becky Sampson: for BYU Hawaii.

01:50:22.034 --> 01:50:22.904
'cause I was a student.

01:50:22.934 --> 01:50:23.204
I was like,

01:50:23.279 --> 01:50:23.789
Jethro Jones: Yeah,

01:50:23.804 --> 01:50:24.134
Becky Sampson: me?

01:50:24.659 --> 01:50:25.079
Jethro Jones: yeah.

01:50:25.379 --> 01:50:26.534
Becky Sampson: $10 to $12.

01:50:26.534 --> 01:50:29.594
And thing I could show the court
about getting hired is because God

01:50:29.594 --> 01:50:31.774
has somewhere else for you to be.

01:50:32.529 --> 01:50:32.949
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:50:33.529 --> 01:50:37.279
Becky Sampson: And I was like,
no, I wanna, I didn't ever

01:50:37.279 --> 01:50:38.479
think I'd get married again.

01:50:38.539 --> 01:50:39.319
I'm like, Nope.

01:50:39.589 --> 01:50:41.659
I, I'm, I love Hawaii.

01:50:41.659 --> 01:50:42.709
I love the people.

01:50:42.709 --> 01:50:46.549
I, I, I had felt so much
healing and serenity there.

01:50:46.939 --> 01:50:49.669
The ocean was what healed me every day.

01:50:50.419 --> 01:50:54.949
my little mermaid group that I
swam with every day and community.

01:50:55.069 --> 01:50:59.389
And she's, and, and so when that money
hit the bank account, something happened

01:50:59.389 --> 01:51:04.549
in me and I finally became willing.

01:51:06.019 --> 01:51:06.169
I

01:51:06.179 --> 01:51:06.299
Jethro Jones: Hmm.

01:51:06.599 --> 01:51:13.819
Becky Sampson: God, my prayer to him was,
please, if it's not here in Hawaii, send

01:51:13.819 --> 01:51:19.489
me somewhere that I, you can use my skills
and abilities to bless people's lives.

01:51:20.359 --> 01:51:27.229
And five days later, I'm laying in bed
on a Sunday morning and my, my landlord

01:51:27.229 --> 01:51:28.639
had told me that I needed to move.

01:51:29.139 --> 01:51:29.559
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:51:29.959 --> 01:51:32.269
Becky Sampson: they, they're friends
of mine, they were friends of mine,

01:51:32.269 --> 01:51:34.609
but they're like, you know what,
we've gotta, and they didn't even

01:51:34.609 --> 01:51:37.309
know that I got this final finalized.

01:51:37.849 --> 01:51:42.829
Um, and I was, all of a sudden I looked
over and I got this impression to look

01:51:42.829 --> 01:51:47.959
on my phone and to get on this dating app
that I hardly ever get on, which I swore

01:51:47.977 --> 01:51:51.949
I'd never do again because I, I worked for
a dating site doing all their podcasts.

01:51:51.949 --> 01:51:57.379
And anyway, I happened to look over and
I saw this one man from Sigar, Utah.

01:51:58.204 --> 01:52:01.054
was like, cigar, like I know
where cigarette is because

01:52:01.054 --> 01:52:03.004
that's down by our summer camp.

01:52:03.394 --> 01:52:04.219
Jethro Jones: But nobody else does.

01:52:04.444 --> 01:52:06.304
Becky Sampson: Nobody else
knows where cigarette is.

01:52:06.364 --> 01:52:11.284
And so I swiped on him and he swiped back
or, or something, and immediately like we

01:52:11.284 --> 01:52:16.534
got connected I said, oh my gosh, I know
where cigarette is like and everything.

01:52:16.534 --> 01:52:19.624
I said, gimme your cell phone
number because your cell phone,

01:52:19.624 --> 01:52:20.764
I need to send you a picture.

01:52:20.884 --> 01:52:22.744
And so I, he sent me a cell phone number.

01:52:23.104 --> 01:52:25.624
I sent him a picture and he
says, stop right there, Becky.

01:52:27.154 --> 01:52:29.884
He's like, I know exactly
where your property is.

01:52:29.884 --> 01:52:32.734
I have driven by that
place my entire life.

01:52:32.734 --> 01:52:33.634
I said, well, guess what?

01:52:33.634 --> 01:52:36.184
I've been through
cigarette my entire life.

01:52:36.784 --> 01:52:39.634
We jump on a call on the way down.

01:52:39.634 --> 01:52:43.774
I was driving down that Sunday afternoon
after church to meet with missionaries

01:52:43.804 --> 01:52:45.094
'cause I was still trying to find a job.

01:52:46.414 --> 01:52:49.954
And um, and on the way down there,
I talked to him for the whole hour.

01:52:49.954 --> 01:52:51.724
And all he talked about was his ex-wife.

01:52:51.844 --> 01:52:57.004
He'd only been divorced for six weeks
after 27 and a half year marriage.

01:52:57.874 --> 01:53:00.844
And uh, and one of the things
he asked me, actually, I don't

01:53:00.844 --> 01:53:02.284
know if he's, he'll be okay.

01:53:03.004 --> 01:53:05.494
of the things he asked me is he
says, he says, Becky, do you think

01:53:05.494 --> 01:53:07.024
I'm, do, do you think I'm cute?

01:53:07.264 --> 01:53:08.404
I'm like, are you kidding me?

01:53:09.034 --> 01:53:10.384
You, you're so ants.

01:53:10.504 --> 01:53:13.924
I'm like, that's really a strange
question to ask somebody you just met.

01:53:14.674 --> 01:53:16.594
Um, but apparently he never got told that.

01:53:17.614 --> 01:53:21.957
and um, so all I remember about
that first conversation was that he.

01:53:23.179 --> 01:53:28.129
That he was, I I, and I've dated and
coached enough people to realize, look,

01:53:28.489 --> 01:53:30.949
you know, if all you can talk about
is your ex, you're not ready to date.

01:53:32.359 --> 01:53:35.119
And um, of blew him off.

01:53:35.359 --> 01:53:37.819
I was like, well, have a nice,
it's nice to meet you and yes,

01:53:37.819 --> 01:53:38.959
that's great and whatever.

01:53:39.439 --> 01:53:44.179
But then he called me the next
day and every day from that

01:53:44.179 --> 01:53:48.139
point on for exactly 30 days, we
talked at least six hours a day.

01:53:49.069 --> 01:53:49.519
Jethro Jones: Wow.

01:53:51.199 --> 01:53:53.719
Becky Sampson: And I flew
home on Christmas day.

01:53:54.289 --> 01:53:57.499
He went and met my mom before he met me.

01:53:58.579 --> 01:53:59.899
'cause my mom was picking
me up at the airport.

01:53:59.899 --> 01:54:01.459
I said, why don't you
just go to my mom's house?

01:54:01.519 --> 01:54:03.169
You can meet my mom, you
can come to the airport.

01:54:03.169 --> 01:54:06.529
So he always tells me and reminds me
that I met your mom before I met you.

01:54:06.799 --> 01:54:10.219
And, uh, needless to say, we got
married a few months later after that,

01:54:10.219 --> 01:54:11.779
we, we knew it was the right thing.

01:54:11.779 --> 01:54:13.699
And he is the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

01:54:14.269 --> 01:54:18.799
And my point in telling that story is, is
that we don't know, I don't know if you've

01:54:18.799 --> 01:54:23.209
ever seen that visual where Christ is
holding this teddy bear behind his back.

01:54:23.569 --> 01:54:24.354
Have you ever seen that one

01:54:24.654 --> 01:54:24.874
Jethro Jones: Yep.

01:54:24.894 --> 01:54:25.314
Mm-hmm.

01:54:25.459 --> 01:54:28.009
Becky Sampson: where he is got this
huge teddy bear behind your back

01:54:28.009 --> 01:54:30.829
and this little girl's got this
little tiny teddy bear going, no,

01:54:30.829 --> 01:54:32.569
Christ, I don't wanna give it to you.

01:54:33.094 --> 01:54:33.384
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:54:33.499 --> 01:54:34.159
Becky Sampson: my teddy bear.

01:54:34.159 --> 01:54:36.079
Huge teddy bear behind your back.

01:54:36.079 --> 01:54:38.029
And this little girl's got the Lord has.

01:54:38.034 --> 01:54:42.469
And, and, and we have
no idea what I'm here.

01:54:43.274 --> 01:54:46.789
And, and we have no idea what
a marriage that, that I'm in.

01:54:48.949 --> 01:54:49.309
I.

01:54:50.309 --> 01:54:50.599
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:54:52.294 --> 01:54:57.879
Becky Sampson: I want and needed that
kind of commitment to know, because I

01:54:57.879 --> 01:55:03.519
love marriage, I love men, and I wasn't
given that opportunity in my second

01:55:03.519 --> 01:55:07.839
marriage to really even do anything.

01:55:07.839 --> 01:55:10.299
So I had to do what I had to
do to take care of myself.

01:55:11.049 --> 01:55:15.549
Um, but you know, to go way back to
your question of what brought me here,

01:55:15.899 --> 01:55:16.189
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:55:17.319 --> 01:55:20.199
Becky Sampson: um, is it's funny
because now we've been married just

01:55:20.199 --> 01:55:27.279
over a year and, um, his wife left
him with 21 cents in the bank account

01:55:27.959 --> 01:55:28.079
Jethro Jones: Hmm.

01:55:28.899 --> 01:55:31.479
Becky Sampson: and after everything
that he's done, and he's a

01:55:31.479 --> 01:55:38.049
really, really good man, and he
saw, so let me, let me back up.

01:55:38.829 --> 01:55:44.259
Two weeks after I got here, um, after
Christmas, my husband ended up in

01:55:44.259 --> 01:55:49.539
court fighting for his granddaughter,
um, because his son, who has had

01:55:49.839 --> 01:55:55.989
years, his whole, well, many years
of drug abuse, wanted his daughter

01:55:55.989 --> 01:55:57.759
back who he's never taken care of.

01:56:00.025 --> 01:56:01.315
On a full-time basis.

01:56:01.344 --> 01:56:03.144
And my husband has raised her.

01:56:03.144 --> 01:56:07.164
I said, you're gonna have to take
her to take him to court to keep her.

01:56:07.525 --> 01:56:08.904
And he's like, I don't wanna do that.

01:56:08.964 --> 01:56:11.815
And here, I'd just gotten outta
this three and a half year battle.

01:56:12.985 --> 01:56:17.724
And now I'm like, oh God, is
this why you sent me here?

01:56:18.384 --> 01:56:20.034
And my husband's like, absolutely.

01:56:20.034 --> 01:56:20.964
Where did you come from?

01:56:23.485 --> 01:56:25.945
And he didn't fight at
all with his divorce.

01:56:25.945 --> 01:56:30.384
And that I, I was feeling a little
resentful at at first because

01:56:30.384 --> 01:56:33.144
I was like, look, I just fought
like crazy for what was right.

01:56:33.894 --> 01:56:35.544
he's like, but Becky, I
would've never met you.

01:56:36.474 --> 01:56:42.894
And the app, he, because he had
so many women after him, he, he

01:56:42.985 --> 01:56:44.994
put it to only two hour radius.

01:56:45.204 --> 01:56:46.974
So he should not have seen me in Hawaii.

01:56:49.105 --> 01:56:49.794
God drops,

01:56:50.574 --> 01:56:50.864
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:56:51.294 --> 01:56:52.884
Becky Sampson: and then all
of a sudden I get here and two

01:56:52.884 --> 01:56:54.144
weeks later we're in court.

01:56:54.294 --> 01:56:55.525
And I know about the court system.

01:56:55.525 --> 01:56:59.994
I may not know about the children's
part of it, but I knew so much

01:56:59.994 --> 01:57:03.355
about the court system and I was
able to support him through that.

01:57:03.355 --> 01:57:05.275
And we did, we, we fought for a year.

01:57:05.485 --> 01:57:06.204
We lost her.

01:57:06.594 --> 01:57:11.454
Um, um, I shouldn't say we lose her
because everything happens for a reason.

01:57:12.144 --> 01:57:12.714
Jethro Jones: Exactly.

01:57:12.714 --> 01:57:14.424
I mean, that's, that's the whole point.

01:57:14.454 --> 01:57:19.284
So you, you did not win
that court situation.

01:57:19.614 --> 01:57:26.034
But if we see that it is for our
good, then we can be okay with it.

01:57:26.034 --> 01:57:31.044
And we can say, you know, there's,
there's this BYU devotional that was

01:57:31.044 --> 01:57:34.414
given by, uh, something Sister Holmes,

01:57:34.714 --> 01:57:35.134
Becky Sampson: Mm-hmm.

01:57:35.434 --> 01:57:40.434
Jethro Jones: she talks about the ideal,
uh, which is what we want in a situation.

01:57:40.434 --> 01:57:42.894
In this situation, you want to
win the court battle and keep the

01:57:42.894 --> 01:57:47.244
granddaughter, and then there's the
reality, which is that you did not,

01:57:47.764 --> 01:57:48.114
Becky Sampson: Right?

01:57:48.504 --> 01:57:55.104
Jethro Jones: and even in her talk,
the problem is not the, the reality.

01:57:55.134 --> 01:57:56.514
It never is the problem.

01:57:56.874 --> 01:58:01.614
The problem is that we have this ideal
that we think this is the right thing, but

01:58:01.614 --> 01:58:03.984
we don't understand God and how he works.

01:58:03.984 --> 01:58:08.754
And so we, we are fighting for something
and moving towards something and doing

01:58:08.754 --> 01:58:16.344
something, but God has a bigger plan
that includes this thing not happening

01:58:16.344 --> 01:58:19.464
the way we mortally are expecting it to.

01:58:19.794 --> 01:58:24.234
And we have to be okay with that
because we have to understand that

01:58:24.234 --> 01:58:29.244
God is, is wise and knows what he's
doing and isn't going to make things

01:58:29.244 --> 01:58:34.974
happen that aren't for our good even,
even if they feel bad in the moment.

01:58:35.004 --> 01:58:35.229
Right.

01:58:35.529 --> 01:58:38.499
Becky Sampson: and it's just like
if you wanna build muscle in the

01:58:38.499 --> 01:58:40.855
gym, you have to break the muscle.

01:58:41.154 --> 01:58:41.445
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:58:41.745 --> 01:58:44.859
Becky Sampson: has to be
broken with resistance, which

01:58:44.859 --> 01:58:46.449
is all of our ch conflict and

01:58:46.764 --> 01:58:47.184
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:58:47.484 --> 01:58:51.519
Becky Sampson: and trials and everything
in order for it to grow back stronger.

01:58:51.849 --> 01:58:54.909
And God knows this principle
and we for some reason, fight it

01:58:55.504 --> 01:58:56.004
Jethro Jones: All the time.

01:58:56.409 --> 01:58:57.009
Becky Sampson: all the

01:58:57.394 --> 01:58:57.684
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

01:58:57.984 --> 01:59:00.879
Becky Sampson: so, and I remember
even going through my divorce, I said

01:59:00.879 --> 01:59:05.319
to my mom, I said, there is, I feel
like there's a much bigger reason why

01:59:05.769 --> 01:59:08.679
I'm going through this divorce and
representing myself and learning all

01:59:08.679 --> 01:59:09.999
this stuff about the court system.

01:59:10.389 --> 01:59:17.419
I don't know what it is, but I do know
I'm the type of person, even when I lost

01:59:17.419 --> 01:59:21.334
my weight, I'm the type of person that I
always want to reach out and help people.

01:59:21.634 --> 01:59:22.054
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:59:22.089 --> 01:59:24.639
Becky Sampson: people who have lost
150 pounds and don't wanna help.

01:59:24.679 --> 01:59:25.724
I expressed that to you the other

01:59:26.024 --> 01:59:26.444
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:59:26.479 --> 01:59:27.169
Becky Sampson: when we were talking.

01:59:27.229 --> 01:59:29.629
And I, I don't, I can't relate to that.

01:59:29.959 --> 01:59:31.609
However, that's their choice.

01:59:31.609 --> 01:59:35.299
They, that's their own agency
that they, they can do that.

01:59:35.644 --> 01:59:36.064
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

01:59:36.169 --> 01:59:39.289
Becky Sampson: For me, I've
always felt like every single

01:59:39.289 --> 01:59:43.219
thing that I am experiencing
and sometimes to my detriment.

01:59:43.249 --> 01:59:44.599
'cause I'm okay, what are
the steps that I'm doing?

01:59:44.599 --> 01:59:44.989
You know what I mean?

01:59:44.989 --> 01:59:49.129
Like, I, I need to just be
present in my own struggle and,

01:59:49.219 --> 01:59:53.659
and then I can later dissect it
and go, okay, this is what I did.

01:59:53.689 --> 01:59:56.329
Because sometimes I'm thinking, oh, I'm
doing this for other people, you know?

01:59:56.719 --> 01:59:58.759
And, and I do get caught away.

01:59:59.119 --> 02:00:03.709
But what's interesting is I, when I
met my husband now, I told him, I said,

02:00:03.709 --> 02:00:06.169
look, I'm just letting you know, I'm
writing a book called Divorcing Strong.

02:00:06.169 --> 02:00:07.249
I help people to divorce.

02:00:07.564 --> 02:00:08.044
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:00:08.179 --> 02:00:09.529
Becky Sampson: you to
do anything to divorce.

02:00:09.529 --> 02:00:11.029
Like, like that's crazy.

02:00:11.629 --> 02:00:11.919
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:00:12.219 --> 02:00:19.189
Becky Sampson: now, almost a year later,
um, in January of this year, right, is

02:00:19.189 --> 02:00:24.859
when he said to me, when he saw how,
how I light up in helping people through

02:00:24.859 --> 02:00:29.899
these processes and through divorce and
through subpoenas, he's like, you need

02:00:29.899 --> 02:00:33.589
to start a company called, you know,
that, that, that just says subpoenas.

02:00:34.039 --> 02:00:37.099
Because people that usually
get subpoenas are usually the

02:00:37.099 --> 02:00:38.749
ones that are disadvantaged.

02:00:39.109 --> 02:00:39.529
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:00:39.830 --> 02:00:42.469
Becky Sampson: And he's like,
and so the more we thought about

02:00:42.469 --> 02:00:43.429
it, and he really pushed me.

02:00:43.549 --> 02:00:47.119
We were coming back from St. George
on a two hour drive and he's, he just

02:00:47.119 --> 02:00:50.059
kept saying it, kept saying, it kept,
I'm like, are you kidding me, honey?

02:00:50.089 --> 02:00:52.429
Like are really like, he's like, Becky.

02:00:52.789 --> 02:00:56.659
You are too good at this
to, to not help people.

02:00:56.869 --> 02:00:58.669
And then he started seeing
how I was helping people

02:00:58.669 --> 02:00:59.809
through divorce, coaching them.

02:00:59.809 --> 02:01:02.899
And, and I said, really what
I'm at is I'm a strategist.

02:01:03.279 --> 02:01:03.699
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:01:03.829 --> 02:01:04.909
Becky Sampson: then I
started thinking about it.

02:01:04.909 --> 02:01:08.719
I'm like, okay, I'll, if I do a subpoena
thing, I could do it for attorneys.

02:01:08.719 --> 02:01:11.509
I can't do it for pro se people
because I don't have a license.

02:01:12.229 --> 02:01:14.719
And I was gonna call it Aloha Legal.

02:01:15.079 --> 02:01:15.499
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:01:15.589 --> 02:01:17.419
Becky Sampson: And then I
was gonna call it Apex Legal.

02:01:17.739 --> 02:01:18.159
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:01:18.229 --> 02:01:19.069
Becky Sampson: that doesn't
tell you what to do.

02:01:19.069 --> 02:01:20.839
I'm like, all I do is only subpoenas.

02:01:20.959 --> 02:01:26.539
So now my company is called only
subpoenas.com and where, where I help

02:01:26.539 --> 02:01:32.179
people divorce, uncover the hidden
assets, but I also help other attorneys.

02:01:32.179 --> 02:01:36.079
We learn through our process with
this last attorney that we had.

02:01:36.829 --> 02:01:43.159
Typically don't like to do subpoenas
because they require some more detailed

02:01:44.239 --> 02:01:46.789
process and they don't like to do it.

02:01:46.789 --> 02:01:47.539
I love to do it.

02:01:47.749 --> 02:01:47.899
And

02:01:47.989 --> 02:01:48.409
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:01:48.409 --> 02:01:50.989
Becky Sampson: Of course I've got
the nickname Becky Brockovich now,

02:01:51.459 --> 02:01:51.749
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:01:52.474 --> 02:01:53.104
That's awesome.

02:01:53.789 --> 02:01:54.419
Becky Sampson: So yeah.

02:01:54.419 --> 02:01:59.909
So now this business has been born
out of the struggles that we've had.

02:02:00.569 --> 02:02:04.169
And, and it's interesting because
some people though, I have a

02:02:04.169 --> 02:02:08.609
paralegal or I have a team and, our
attorney that was fighting for this

02:02:08.609 --> 02:02:12.959
granddaughter, we needed to subpoena
some, some records, some bank records.

02:02:12.959 --> 02:02:14.099
And he's like, I don't wanna do it.

02:02:14.879 --> 02:02:18.329
And my husband's like, well, I'm,
I'm sorry, but we need to do it.

02:02:18.399 --> 02:02:19.479
I wanna do this.

02:02:19.539 --> 02:02:21.879
And he's like, well, fine,
I'll charge you $500.

02:02:22.599 --> 02:02:24.309
And I was thinking $500 for what?

02:02:24.429 --> 02:02:25.629
What would you do that for?

02:02:26.289 --> 02:02:29.859
And he just, and he was trying to
just discourage us from doing it,

02:02:29.859 --> 02:02:32.769
but we knew that this is how, one
way that we were gonna win the

02:02:32.769 --> 02:02:34.179
case or at least get leverage.

02:02:34.889 --> 02:02:36.839
And so he says, fine, I'll do it for $500.

02:02:36.839 --> 02:02:42.659
Well, his assistant or his paralegal,
we get off the phone, go and do my due

02:02:42.659 --> 02:02:47.609
diligence on that subpoena like I always
do, and came back to her 45 minutes.

02:02:47.609 --> 02:02:50.189
And that paralegal was like, oh, no,
no, Becky, I've already sent it off

02:02:50.189 --> 02:02:51.869
to the bank and it's been rejected.

02:02:53.219 --> 02:02:56.309
And I'm like, well, did you
do this, this, this, and this?

02:02:56.399 --> 02:02:57.959
And she goes, how do you know?

02:02:58.549 --> 02:03:02.939
Well, it's 'cause this is what I do, and
so I sent her the information on it and

02:03:02.939 --> 02:03:04.259
she sent it and it went right through.

02:03:04.829 --> 02:03:09.249
So my point is, is that even if people
have paralegals, they, got so much on

02:03:09.249 --> 02:03:14.439
their plate and attorneys have so much
on their plate, but subpoenas win cases.

02:03:14.439 --> 02:03:18.609
And in that point, when my husband
saw that happen, he's like,

02:03:18.939 --> 02:03:20.199
you need to do this business.

02:03:20.499 --> 02:03:21.069
And

02:03:21.144 --> 02:03:21.369
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:03:22.059 --> 02:03:25.269
Well, and there's another lesson
here that I think most people would

02:03:25.269 --> 02:03:27.729
gloss over, which is that you.

02:03:28.344 --> 02:03:28.644
It.

02:03:29.184 --> 02:03:33.804
Anytime you're hiring someone to do
something for you, you still have to

02:03:34.224 --> 02:03:36.654
be aware and involved in that thing.

02:03:36.744 --> 02:03:42.444
Like you can't just take expertise
for granted because they're, they may

02:03:42.444 --> 02:03:46.134
say they're fighting for you, but the
reality is, is they don't care about

02:03:46.134 --> 02:03:47.424
you as much as you care about you

02:03:47.724 --> 02:03:48.234
Becky Sampson: Because

02:03:48.534 --> 02:03:49.914
Jethro Jones: and go ahead.

02:03:50.094 --> 02:03:52.894
Becky Sampson: that,
that applies to doctors,

02:03:53.319 --> 02:03:53.739
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:03:53.764 --> 02:03:55.819
Becky Sampson: that applies
to the educational system,

02:03:56.119 --> 02:03:56.339
Jethro Jones: Yep.

02:03:56.734 --> 02:03:59.464
Becky Sampson: that
applies to, uh, lawyers.

02:03:59.719 --> 02:04:00.139
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:04:01.024 --> 02:04:04.389
Becky Sampson: um, I I'm gonna
write an article called, don't I?

02:04:04.394 --> 02:04:09.874
I, um, I can, I'm gonna write an article
called Most, I mean, first of all,

02:04:09.994 --> 02:04:10.504
Jethro Jones: I like it.

02:04:10.564 --> 02:04:16.364
Becky Sampson: are very, very, Mary,
the first divorce attorney you meet.

02:04:17.364 --> 02:04:18.654
She didn't have an attorney yet.

02:04:18.654 --> 02:04:19.794
She hadn't been served yet.

02:04:20.604 --> 02:04:22.434
so I went through just the basic stuff.

02:04:22.824 --> 02:04:25.974
You know, I'm not a lawyer, so I can't
give legal advice, but I just explain

02:04:25.974 --> 02:04:27.684
them and educate them about the process.

02:04:28.644 --> 02:04:32.604
then I circled back around to her and
she goes, oh, Becky, it's great this,

02:04:32.694 --> 02:04:37.824
you know, I finally got an attorney and
she's best friends with my soon to be

02:04:38.214 --> 02:04:41.844
former husband's attorney and they're
gonna be able to work everything out.

02:04:41.844 --> 02:04:47.454
And she said that, she told me that
I have to choose between alimony and

02:04:47.694 --> 02:04:51.594
between half of our business that we own.

02:04:51.714 --> 02:04:54.504
And I'm like, sweetheart,
I'm not an attorney.

02:04:54.504 --> 02:04:56.064
I can't give you attorney advice.

02:04:56.874 --> 02:04:59.544
give you legal advice, but you
might wanna go to this certain code.

02:05:00.384 --> 02:05:02.034
he, I directed her to certain the code.

02:05:02.334 --> 02:05:07.164
I said, those are dealt with very
differently in the court system.

02:05:07.434 --> 02:05:12.714
So you're not entitled to just one,
you're entitled to both legally, and your

02:05:12.714 --> 02:05:15.084
attorneys doesn't have your best interest.

02:05:16.014 --> 02:05:17.484
sound to me at least.

02:05:17.634 --> 02:05:19.974
And so, and I said, I don't know.

02:05:20.094 --> 02:05:23.484
You need to do your own research and you
might wanna take this, you might wanna

02:05:23.484 --> 02:05:26.934
consider taking this to your attorney.

02:05:27.264 --> 02:05:30.654
Be, and, and that just proved to me
that even if you have an attorney, you

02:05:30.654 --> 02:05:32.244
still need to advocate for yourself.

02:05:32.874 --> 02:05:36.894
We advocated with, for ourselves
attorneys, we hire, they

02:05:36.894 --> 02:05:40.134
don't hire us, we hire them.

02:05:41.184 --> 02:05:44.154
And, um, now they, they are experts.

02:05:44.154 --> 02:05:46.371
They've, they've been through
a lot more than we do.

02:05:46.404 --> 02:05:48.954
They understand the law a lot more, but.

02:05:49.764 --> 02:05:54.324
But that also, well, the other thought
that just came to me too is advocate

02:05:54.324 --> 02:05:55.914
for yourself and your own marriage too.

02:05:57.054 --> 02:06:00.174
Um, that is challenged.

02:06:00.204 --> 02:06:04.944
Like I, I had to advocate for myself
and, and say, look, I know my value.

02:06:06.324 --> 02:06:11.964
but that is something that I, I now am
so passionate this podcast I did last

02:06:11.964 --> 02:06:15.414
Friday, we talked a lot about how the men
don't have support going through divorce.

02:06:16.224 --> 02:06:19.674
And people have asked me to
do support groups for men.

02:06:19.704 --> 02:06:21.714
I truly believe men need to support men.

02:06:22.524 --> 02:06:26.394
Um, I do think I do have value.

02:06:26.544 --> 02:06:30.534
I can bring to the table for them
because I do believe that he does not

02:06:30.774 --> 02:06:37.924
allow them a free and safe space to,
to like something that I,   when I

02:06:37.924 --> 02:06:42.544
was left with very little money on the
island and I, I can't even tell you how

02:06:42.544 --> 02:06:44.974
many times I woke up in absolute panic.

02:06:46.804 --> 02:06:47.224
Yes.

02:06:47.224 --> 02:06:48.694
Could I have gone back to Utah?

02:06:49.444 --> 02:06:51.604
I didn't feel like that's
what God wanted me to do.

02:06:51.604 --> 02:06:54.154
I. I don't feel like it was safe.

02:06:54.914 --> 02:06:56.114
I was resisting it.

02:06:57.194 --> 02:07:02.984
And it's interesting that once that
finalized and I finally got willing to

02:07:02.984 --> 02:07:06.644
go, okay, God, like, where do you need me?

02:07:07.454 --> 02:07:11.774
I'm totally open to, to and your will.

02:07:11.834 --> 02:07:13.604
He like closed that door

02:07:15.644 --> 02:07:17.539
like that and said, move.

02:07:18.534 --> 02:07:23.009
Jethro Jones: Well, and, and what's
really amazing is that he, he

02:07:23.009 --> 02:07:28.379
could have taken care of you and
had you move to Utah beforehand.

02:07:28.379 --> 02:07:28.769
Right.

02:07:29.369 --> 02:07:31.649
And, and we know that he is all powerful.

02:07:31.649 --> 02:07:34.049
So we believe that he,
that he could do that.

02:07:34.589 --> 02:07:37.889
But like we've been talking about the
whole time, we also have to be willing.

02:07:38.249 --> 02:07:42.989
And so we, we have to put our trust in
him and say, all right, I'm ready now.

02:07:43.289 --> 02:07:46.049
And that's such a key point that.

02:07:46.934 --> 02:07:52.274
Uh, he, he loves us and he is the one
who's gonna go to bat for us all the time.

02:07:52.754 --> 02:07:57.194
Any earthly person is not
despite their best intentions.

02:07:57.464 --> 02:08:01.994
And I even say this about our, our
own parents and us towards our kids.

02:08:02.624 --> 02:08:07.274
No, I care about my kids more than
I can even describe, and I am not

02:08:07.274 --> 02:08:11.444
going to care about them, about their
life as much as they personally are.

02:08:12.074 --> 02:08:16.544
I don't have that capacity yet, but I'm
about as close as I can get to having that

02:08:16.544 --> 02:08:19.814
capacity, and, and I still don't have it.

02:08:20.264 --> 02:08:27.854
And, and we put so much trust and faith
in the institutions and systems and, and,

02:08:28.064 --> 02:08:30.884
uh, position and bishops and positions.

02:08:31.184 --> 02:08:36.404
And the reality is, is that not
a single one of them loves us,

02:08:36.464 --> 02:08:38.144
like our heavenly father does.

02:08:38.204 --> 02:08:43.844
And, and we can work with them and
we can like enter into agreements

02:08:43.844 --> 02:08:47.774
with them and all that kind of stuff,
but they will never, and they, it is

02:08:47.774 --> 02:08:52.874
impossible for them to have that kind
of insight and love into our life.

02:08:52.964 --> 02:08:59.054
And, and once I personally realized that,
then that made a huge difference for me.

02:08:59.114 --> 02:09:03.944
That somebody can recommend something
and I can say, yes, you're smart.

02:09:04.034 --> 02:09:05.234
Yes, you've got experience.

02:09:05.234 --> 02:09:09.794
Yes, you've got education,
but this is also my life.

02:09:09.884 --> 02:09:13.964
And you, you cannot possibly
care about this as much as I do.

02:09:14.174 --> 02:09:15.914
And, and so that.

02:09:16.484 --> 02:09:20.714
That's still an idea that I'm trying
to understand fully, but I know

02:09:20.714 --> 02:09:22.874
there's an inkling of truth there that

02:09:23.174 --> 02:09:23.354
Becky Sampson: Mm-hmm.

02:09:23.714 --> 02:09:26.444
Jethro Jones: that means something
that is bigger than what I can

02:09:26.444 --> 02:09:28.004
articulate right this moment.

02:09:28.574 --> 02:09:31.724
Becky Sampson: Well,
and, and, and I, yeah.

02:09:31.729 --> 02:09:34.904
You actually are making me think of
several different times in my life where

02:09:34.904 --> 02:09:39.074
I've had to advocate for myself and even
coming outta my first divorce when there

02:09:39.074 --> 02:09:44.594
was violence involved and I was having
to get a protective order, um, I remember

02:09:44.594 --> 02:09:47.504
calling our bishop, and our bishop
is a beautiful, he's a wonderful man.

02:09:47.864 --> 02:09:48.194
Okay.

02:09:48.404 --> 02:09:48.944
Imperfect.

02:09:50.324 --> 02:09:50.692
Wonderful.

02:09:51.794 --> 02:09:56.834
And I called him and I told him,
I said, I'm, I'm, about getting

02:09:56.834 --> 02:09:59.684
a protective order because of
certain things that were happening.

02:09:59.744 --> 02:10:02.684
And he said to me, he says,
Becky, you're overreacting.

02:10:03.404 --> 02:10:09.134
I said, I do, I do not need your
permission to take care of myself.

02:10:10.124 --> 02:10:13.079
And it was only a couple weeks later
where we had an incident that happened

02:10:13.214 --> 02:10:16.634
at his house, um, at 10 o'clock at night.

02:10:16.634 --> 02:10:21.404
He was in his pajamas that my husband,
my husband at the time, and I were

02:10:21.404 --> 02:10:26.084
there and my husband got violent and
he saw what, firsthand what happened.

02:10:27.494 --> 02:10:32.024
And he called me the next day and he says,
if you were my daughter, I, I'm so sorry.

02:10:32.024 --> 02:10:32.467
You know?

02:10:33.374 --> 02:10:38.054
So yeah, we do, we, and there's no
way even a court system, and this

02:10:38.054 --> 02:10:41.114
is what I tell people going into the
court system, no judge, I mean, you've

02:10:41.114 --> 02:10:45.644
got maybe 15 minutes max to maybe
30 minutes to get your story out.

02:10:45.674 --> 02:10:50.234
If even that, and you're expecting
them to know all the details.

02:10:50.834 --> 02:10:59.274
Like you, you have to, it's,  speak
up for ourself and God, like what I've

02:10:59.274 --> 02:11:01.769
learned is that God will sends me bumpers.

02:11:02.549 --> 02:11:02.729
Okay.

02:11:02.729 --> 02:11:07.679
I remember many years ago I was doing a
podcast and I was gonna interview, I was

02:11:07.679 --> 02:11:13.049
referred to somebody to interview and
these guys wanted to hire me to be one of

02:11:13.049 --> 02:11:17.559
their co-hosts and they, they used to do
like news every day and all that stuff.

02:11:18.039 --> 02:11:20.679
And somebody sent me a
message, a private message.

02:11:20.679 --> 02:11:23.709
'cause I used to show pictures of
everybody I met all over Facebook.

02:11:24.309 --> 02:11:28.629
And, um, so I posted something and
somebody just sent me a private

02:11:28.629 --> 02:11:31.059
message and just said, Hey Becky,
you might wanna consider not

02:11:33.489 --> 02:11:36.219
And I always appreciate that,
that somebody doesn't come and

02:11:36.399 --> 02:11:40.209
gossip about anything, that they
just kind of give me bumpers.

02:11:40.209 --> 02:11:43.089
And I have felt like God has
done that my entire life.

02:11:43.929 --> 02:11:51.489
circling back to my dad, I feel
like God allowed me, my dad to be

02:11:51.489 --> 02:11:55.599
close to me during that time, that
three and a half years that I, or

02:11:55.599 --> 02:11:56.979
five years that I was in Hawaii.

02:11:57.759 --> 02:12:00.099
there were so many times that I was
standing on the beach where I could just

02:12:00.099 --> 02:12:02.169
hear my dad going, I'm so proud of you.

02:12:03.579 --> 02:12:10.999
I'm so proud of who you are, who you've
become, who you've,  you haven't allowed

02:12:10.999 --> 02:12:13.489
your heart to be hardened the world.

02:12:13.789 --> 02:12:21.049
'cause remember that last letter he wrote
me don't let people harden you and, and

02:12:21.079 --> 02:12:23.059
make you into somebody that you're not.

02:12:23.899 --> 02:12:25.789
I just remembered that in this moment.

02:12:26.269 --> 02:12:27.619
I didn't make that connection,

02:12:29.959 --> 02:12:30.319
but

02:12:32.509 --> 02:12:36.739
'cause I, I do believe that
one of the things in this life,

02:12:36.739 --> 02:12:38.089
when we get to the other side.

02:12:39.679 --> 02:12:43.009
There was a talk many years ago, and I
think it was DER Holland if I remember

02:12:43.009 --> 02:12:46.309
correctly, that said, when we get on the
other side, there's gonna be one question

02:12:46.309 --> 02:12:48.739
that we're asked, did you learn to love?

02:12:50.839 --> 02:12:52.689
Did you learn to love yourself?

02:12:53.249 --> 02:12:54.929
Did you learn to love others?

02:12:55.579 --> 02:12:57.319
Did you learn to love your enemies?

02:12:59.149 --> 02:13:02.749
Because really at the end of
the day, that's pure charity.

02:13:03.079 --> 02:13:06.049
Can you love people despite
what they do to you?

02:13:06.439 --> 02:13:07.729
Despite what they say?

02:13:08.359 --> 02:13:12.919
Despite, and that was probably
the greatest gift that my former

02:13:12.919 --> 02:13:15.439
husband gave me during that journey.

02:13:15.859 --> 02:13:19.479
'cause I fought like, I was
still on the day that we settled.

02:13:20.289 --> 02:13:26.289
still went into that courtroom
seeing him as God sees him, I still

02:13:26.409 --> 02:13:28.179
was saying in my heart, I love you.

02:13:29.049 --> 02:13:30.069
I care about you.

02:13:30.279 --> 02:13:31.539
I know you're terrified.

02:13:33.669 --> 02:13:40.119
I couldn't change that for him, but
I could change who I was through

02:13:40.119 --> 02:13:46.554
that and, and that is my greatest
accomplishment in all of that.

02:13:46.554 --> 02:13:50.619
It has nothing to do with the
money, it has nothing to do with,

02:13:51.759 --> 02:13:56.829
but I had to learn to rely on God
during that process, not only in

02:13:56.829 --> 02:13:59.349
the legal system, but my financials.

02:14:00.399 --> 02:14:03.879
And I had to learn to listen and
take direction from him, and I'm

02:14:03.879 --> 02:14:08.589
finding exactly the same things
happening now, building this business.

02:14:10.059 --> 02:14:12.609
It's like I wake up and he's
like, you need to connect with

02:14:12.609 --> 02:14:13.809
this person and get on that.

02:14:13.809 --> 02:14:15.639
Like it's a total fluke
that you and I met.

02:14:15.819 --> 02:14:17.710
I mean, not a total fluke,
you know what I'm saying?

02:14:19.584 --> 02:14:23.544
Jethro Jones: Definitely something
that God orchestrated and inspired

02:14:23.544 --> 02:14:26.184
and, and made to be the case.

02:14:26.184 --> 02:14:31.404
And, and here's what's really
interesting is I, so I, this is the

02:14:31.404 --> 02:14:35.274
first year that I'm doing this podcast,
so I have to find all the 12 people.

02:14:35.753 --> 02:14:41.634
And, um, and at the beginning
of this month, I, I didn't have

02:14:41.634 --> 02:14:43.764
the next two months ready to go.

02:14:44.214 --> 02:14:47.424
And so I was feeling like some pressure.

02:14:47.484 --> 02:14:52.044
But when, here's the thing, when, when God
put this into my heart and said, you need

02:14:52.044 --> 02:14:56.514
to do this podcast, I knew that I had to
find people who'd be committed and willing

02:14:56.514 --> 02:15:00.714
to do this for the next decade, who
would be willing to talk with me every.

02:15:01.524 --> 02:15:07.164
Every, uh, year for that next decade and
build this relationship and be willing

02:15:07.164 --> 02:15:08.874
to come back and, and do it again.

02:15:09.444 --> 02:15:13.014
And so I've been trying really
hard to listen when God says

02:15:13.044 --> 02:15:14.994
this is who, who should be on it.

02:15:15.144 --> 02:15:17.689
And I don't understand why that is.

02:15:17.694 --> 02:15:21.534
And I imagine at least one person
is going to back out and say,

02:15:21.534 --> 02:15:22.824
I'm not gonna do this anymore.

02:15:23.184 --> 02:15:28.194
And, and I'm, I'm okay with that
because it is like, this is not,

02:15:28.434 --> 02:15:31.404
this is not Jethro's glory here.

02:15:31.464 --> 02:15:34.584
This is me just trying
to listen to the spirit.

02:15:34.614 --> 02:15:38.634
And, and so I'm sure that that is going to
happen, that somebody's going to back out.

02:15:38.634 --> 02:15:39.834
And if they do then that's fine.

02:15:39.984 --> 02:15:45.414
But I've been trying really hard to
listen and, and then invite people

02:15:45.444 --> 02:15:47.304
when the spirit directs me to.

02:15:47.304 --> 02:15:52.734
And you, last week when we were
talking, that was the exact situation.

02:15:52.764 --> 02:15:58.194
And like, I hadn't even thought
about it when, when it happened and

02:15:58.194 --> 02:16:02.724
we were in a group together, you
mentioned something and it connected

02:16:02.724 --> 02:16:05.214
me with somebody else that I had
interviewed on a totally different

02:16:05.214 --> 02:16:06.984
podcast about totally different things.

02:16:07.374 --> 02:16:12.354
And I said, I need to just do this
and, and share this person with you.

02:16:12.354 --> 02:16:14.844
And then, uh, you called me afterward.

02:16:14.844 --> 02:16:17.094
We had texted back and forth a
little bit, and then you called me

02:16:17.124 --> 02:16:19.464
and I was like, as we were talking.

02:16:19.794 --> 02:16:23.694
I just was like, we need, she needs to
be on a decade, never to be forgotten.

02:16:24.114 --> 02:16:27.144
And, and like it was just clear as day.

02:16:27.174 --> 02:16:31.704
And I was like, man, we're talking
about very different things and

02:16:31.704 --> 02:16:33.024
then I'm gonna bring this in.

02:16:33.054 --> 02:16:36.174
Like, is that, like,
how's she gonna respond?

02:16:36.864 --> 02:16:43.734
And then here's the crazy thing, uh, and
this was a testimony to me that, that

02:16:43.734 --> 02:16:48.414
the Lord is involved is you texted me
this morning and said, Hey, are you LDS?

02:16:48.504 --> 02:16:52.029
And you had forgotten how we
had connected, which is totally,

02:16:52.329 --> 02:16:52.809
Becky Sampson: Yeah.

02:16:52.884 --> 02:16:54.354
Jethro Jones: is totally understandable.

02:16:54.354 --> 02:17:00.744
And we had spoken only very briefly,
but it was like, it, you still were

02:17:00.744 --> 02:17:04.014
willing to do it and still were like
on board with it and everything.

02:17:04.014 --> 02:17:08.694
And, and what's so cool is that
we don't have to see the end

02:17:08.694 --> 02:17:12.024
from the beginning because we
just need to take that next step.

02:17:12.114 --> 02:17:16.794
And the next step for me last week was
to say, Hey, are you willing to do this?

02:17:17.094 --> 02:17:18.654
And you said Yes.

02:17:18.684 --> 02:17:24.144
And, and so now, uh, here we are and
this has been an amazing conversation

02:17:24.144 --> 02:17:29.184
and I'm so grateful for it because
I've had so many questions that I have

02:17:29.184 --> 02:17:34.224
answered in our conversation, and there's
no reason why that should be the case.

02:17:34.224 --> 02:17:36.804
And I'm sure somebody listening
is gonna have the same experience.

02:17:37.104 --> 02:17:39.294
Becky Sampson: really one of those,
I mean, when you really start paying

02:17:39.294 --> 02:17:43.044
attention, like really, really, like
when I, I'm gonna speak for myself.

02:17:43.374 --> 02:17:46.709
When I really started paying
attention to these God drops in my

02:17:47.009 --> 02:17:47.429
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:17:47.904 --> 02:17:50.244
Becky Sampson: and these connections,
because I, I actually, the only

02:17:50.244 --> 02:17:53.994
reason why I was on that meeting last
week where I met you was because I

02:17:53.994 --> 02:17:56.964
reached out to that one sister that
told me, Becky, do you think maybe

02:17:56.964 --> 02:17:58.464
God has somewhere else for you to be,

02:17:58.854 --> 02:17:59.184
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:17:59.334 --> 02:18:01.344
Becky Sampson: works for the
LDS employment in Hawaii.

02:18:01.464 --> 02:18:05.274
And I called her last week and I was
like, Hey, I need someone that knows

02:18:05.274 --> 02:18:06.984
about this certain thing in business.

02:18:07.044 --> 02:18:11.334
And she sent me to this, sent me to,
you know, the lady that did the meeting.

02:18:11.424 --> 02:18:12.594
And then we got on.

02:18:12.594 --> 02:18:15.384
And then, and this is the one thing
that I've learned too, is God,

02:18:17.214 --> 02:18:18.834
God cannot drive a parked car.

02:18:20.544 --> 02:18:20.934
Okay.

02:18:21.204 --> 02:18:28.074
Like I've learned that I have to be in
motion, meaning take my foot off the,

02:18:28.224 --> 02:18:32.694
off the brake, which is all my fears
and all my doubts and all my everything.

02:18:33.594 --> 02:18:36.504
get in the car and start
driving in a certain direction.

02:18:36.504 --> 02:18:38.664
And then he directs me,
oh, call this person.

02:18:38.904 --> 02:18:41.094
Oh, do this, oh, connect here.

02:18:41.394 --> 02:18:43.224
I am an action taker.

02:18:43.434 --> 02:18:46.734
So I, 'cause, 'cause inspiration
will come and then it will leave.

02:18:47.514 --> 02:18:51.414
It will literally leave just as quickly
as it comes if you don't take action.

02:18:52.254 --> 02:18:58.404
And, um, and it may come back again,
But I, I've learned that I did not

02:18:58.404 --> 02:19:01.884
know when I started the process
of the divorce that I would end

02:19:01.884 --> 02:19:03.684
up married to the love of my life.

02:19:04.764 --> 02:19:10.884
I had no idea what that journey and,
and now, and I said to my husband last

02:19:10.884 --> 02:19:13.104
night, I said, I love who I've become.

02:19:14.034 --> 02:19:16.974
And one of your questions to
consider was like, who are you

02:19:16.974 --> 02:19:18.234
gonna become the next 10 years?

02:19:18.474 --> 02:19:23.754
Like I'm sitting here, just, one of my
other quotes that says that life is just.

02:19:24.729 --> 02:19:26.278
De have detached observation.

02:19:26.619 --> 02:19:31.539
Just don't take, take the shame and
the, the guilt and just detach from it.

02:19:31.569 --> 02:19:34.149
Like you're watching a movie and
going, wow, that's interesting.

02:19:34.449 --> 02:19:35.739
That journey and that journey.

02:19:35.739 --> 02:19:36.939
And that's connecting here.

02:19:37.029 --> 02:19:38.319
And that's connecting here.

02:19:38.319 --> 02:19:41.319
And I may, and I said yesterday
in another podcast that I was

02:19:41.319 --> 02:19:44.529
like, I meet people sometimes and
I have no idea why we're meeting.

02:19:44.559 --> 02:19:45.579
They're like, why are we meeting?

02:19:45.579 --> 02:19:46.594
I'm like, I dunno.

02:19:47.349 --> 02:19:50.619
just got this impression that
I'm like, like I just made a

02:19:50.619 --> 02:19:51.819
connection to someone yesterday.

02:19:51.819 --> 02:19:53.319
And she's like, but I don't want this.

02:19:53.319 --> 02:19:53.739
I'm like, no.

02:19:53.739 --> 02:19:54.714
I just, I don't know.

02:19:54.729 --> 02:19:56.619
I heard you speak and I,
I wanna connect with you.

02:19:56.739 --> 02:19:59.439
And, and you never know where
any of those things are gonna go.

02:19:59.439 --> 02:20:02.079
And you don't know if 10 years down
the road you're gonna go, Hey, you

02:20:02.079 --> 02:20:04.839
know what, Jetro, there's, there's
something I, I wanna connect you to.

02:20:05.199 --> 02:20:07.689
You just knows.

02:20:08.619 --> 02:20:10.569
why are we trying to do this on our own?

02:20:11.019 --> 02:20:12.969
Like, why do I try to do it on my own?

02:20:13.059 --> 02:20:13.929
I should speak for myself.

02:20:14.769 --> 02:20:15.219
So

02:20:15.654 --> 02:20:16.044
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:20:16.509 --> 02:20:19.899
Becky Sampson: finally let go is
when things happen and God works

02:20:19.899 --> 02:20:22.419
in, he works so fast sometimes.

02:20:23.004 --> 02:20:23.394
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:20:23.784 --> 02:20:28.585
Well, as I've been going through my
own struggles in the last, year or

02:20:28.585 --> 02:20:34.914
so, what I have talked about with
my wife numerous times is in a two

02:20:34.914 --> 02:20:39.505
week period, our lives can totally
change for the better or the worse.

02:20:39.615 --> 02:20:43.395
And God has the power to put us in
a totally different position than

02:20:43.395 --> 02:20:47.485
we even thought was possible,  in
a short span of just two weeks.

02:20:47.845 --> 02:20:51.765
And so as we're struggling through
things, as we're waiting for God's

02:20:51.765 --> 02:20:57.135
will to come to pass for us to be able
to understand what he's doing, that

02:20:57.135 --> 02:20:59.805
will change probably very quickly.

02:20:59.805 --> 02:21:04.885
Like you have already shared in this,
that, you know, one day you get the

02:21:04.885 --> 02:21:08.455
income in your, the money in your
bank, and then the next day you're

02:21:08.665 --> 02:21:10.885
talking for the first hour with

02:21:11.035 --> 02:21:11.965
Becky Sampson: I met my new husband.

02:21:11.995 --> 02:21:12.415
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:21:12.655 --> 02:21:13.195
Becky Sampson: what?

02:21:13.525 --> 02:21:17.725
Jethro Jones: it just happens like
life changes very quickly and God

02:21:17.725 --> 02:21:19.225
has the power to make that happen.

02:21:19.225 --> 02:21:23.125
And so when we are frustrated and
bummed that the things that we want

02:21:23.125 --> 02:21:28.645
are not happening the way that we
think they should, we really need to

02:21:29.035 --> 02:21:33.805
take a step back and like you said,
being a detached observer and just say,

02:21:33.805 --> 02:21:35.785
alright, where is God's hand in this?

02:21:35.785 --> 02:21:39.685
What is he doing in my life
right now so that I can have

02:21:39.685 --> 02:21:42.125
the life that he, eternal life.

02:21:42.695 --> 02:21:42.935
Yeah.

02:21:42.995 --> 02:21:43.535
Becky Sampson: step?

02:21:43.715 --> 02:21:44.705
Jethro Jones: Where do I go next?

02:21:44.705 --> 02:21:45.785
What do I need to be doing?

02:21:45.785 --> 02:21:50.615
And, you know, I don't have all the
answers for my life and none of us

02:21:50.615 --> 02:21:53.345
do, but we feel like we want to.

02:21:53.345 --> 02:21:56.820
And where I shared that talk by
Sister Holmes about the ideal.

02:21:57.240 --> 02:21:58.470
That's what the problem is.

02:21:58.530 --> 02:22:01.020
We think the ideal is what we want.

02:22:01.140 --> 02:22:05.700
We think that our ideal is what we
want, and God's like, no, what you need.

02:22:07.035 --> 02:22:10.125
And what you should want is
the plan that I have for you.

02:22:10.485 --> 02:22:11.505
And be open to that.

02:22:11.505 --> 02:22:14.985
And when you're open to that, then
you see the miracles, you see the

02:22:14.985 --> 02:22:16.365
amazing things that are happening.

02:22:16.905 --> 02:22:22.155
And sure, we're going to have
disappointment, but if we can take a

02:22:22.275 --> 02:22:27.015
take a minute and go back and say, wait
a minute, where do I want to really be?

02:22:27.015 --> 02:22:29.205
What do I really want God
to be doing in my life?

02:22:29.655 --> 02:22:33.915
When we do that, then we are going
to have amazing opportunities

02:22:33.945 --> 02:22:36.285
that we weren't even prepared for.

02:22:36.315 --> 02:22:41.865
And I'm saying this myself because I need
to hear it for crying out loud because

02:22:42.045 --> 02:22:42.765
Becky Sampson: the credit.

02:22:43.005 --> 02:22:43.785
Jethro Jones: Yes,

02:22:43.905 --> 02:22:44.775
Becky Sampson: God the credit.

02:22:45.375 --> 02:22:47.895
Jethro Jones: because it is his
plan and he is the one who's,

02:22:47.925 --> 02:22:49.155
who's making things happen.

02:22:49.185 --> 02:22:55.515
And, and even if things are hard right
now, he knows that it's worthwhile.

02:22:55.575 --> 02:22:58.155
And at some point we
will understand that too.

02:22:58.515 --> 02:22:59.055
Becky Sampson: Mm-hmm.

02:22:59.475 --> 02:23:01.785
Jethro Jones: it may not even be
in this life, and that's okay too.

02:23:01.785 --> 02:23:05.295
But we're gonna see the,
the beauty in his work.

02:23:05.595 --> 02:23:09.045
Becky Sampson: Well, the other thing
too that I, I, from years of struggling

02:23:09.045 --> 02:23:15.225
financially, um, I, I learned this
principle that when that anxiety that

02:23:15.225 --> 02:23:20.775
I felt even through the troubles and
the trials and tribulations, temporary.

02:23:21.080 --> 02:23:21.500
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:23:22.245 --> 02:23:26.325
Becky Sampson: It, it, Satan is going
to convince you that it's permanent.

02:23:27.150 --> 02:23:30.690
It's a permanent state of
dis, you know, overwhelm or

02:23:31.050 --> 02:23:33.450
permanent state of discontent.

02:23:34.860 --> 02:23:37.860
However, yes, there is a time to grieve.

02:23:38.100 --> 02:23:45.450
Yes, there is a time to, to be in like, I
don't know, mode and walk, walk by faith.

02:23:45.840 --> 02:23:49.170
But you know, it is that 11th
hour I think they talk about.

02:23:49.200 --> 02:23:53.670
It's funny, I always say, I always
say to God, look, I can't, can't

02:23:53.670 --> 02:23:57.540
hang on to a piece of dental floss
off the side of a, a freaking cliff.

02:23:59.040 --> 02:24:01.260
And he's like, oh no, I got you girl.

02:24:01.260 --> 02:24:04.680
I'm like, but it was always on the 11th
hour and the 59th second that he would

02:24:04.680 --> 02:24:08.610
like, like, how did that payment come?

02:24:08.640 --> 02:24:12.570
I mean, how did, and but
that's how we're tested.

02:24:12.570 --> 02:24:14.070
That again, it's the muscle, right?

02:24:14.070 --> 02:24:16.800
You gotta have the resistance, you
gotta have the, the, you've gotta

02:24:16.800 --> 02:24:22.650
walk by faith in order for God
to, to get us to, to trust him.

02:24:23.970 --> 02:24:26.790
And if we were always given what we
were given, then there's no level

02:24:26.790 --> 02:24:29.225
of, there's no level of trust.

02:24:29.525 --> 02:24:29.945
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:24:30.245 --> 02:24:31.450
Becky Sampson: there's it.

02:24:31.510 --> 02:24:35.440
So it is all on purpose and
it's not a permanent state.

02:24:36.140 --> 02:24:37.610
And I would just breathe through it.

02:24:37.610 --> 02:24:41.420
I'm like, well, tomorrow's a brand
new day, you know, or to the next

02:24:41.420 --> 02:24:43.580
hour's, a new day for today only.

02:24:43.580 --> 02:24:45.680
I'm gonna grieve, you know.

02:24:45.995 --> 02:24:46.475
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:24:46.565 --> 02:24:50.795
Well, and to your point about always
in the 11th hour or the 59th minute,

02:24:51.245 --> 02:24:58.745
the reality is, is that once that that
relief or salvation comes, then it,

02:24:59.015 --> 02:25:02.255
it can only come in the 11th hour.

02:25:02.315 --> 02:25:02.705
Right.

02:25:03.125 --> 02:25:05.375
Because otherwise we
wouldn't even notice it.

02:25:05.375 --> 02:25:06.515
We wouldn't even care about it.

02:25:06.545 --> 02:25:11.045
You know, it's, it's like that old saying,
I found this in the last place I looked.

02:25:11.260 --> 02:25:15.275
Well, of course you did, because why
would you keep looking if you found it?

02:25:15.335 --> 02:25:15.845
You wouldn't.

02:25:15.845 --> 02:25:16.295
Right.

02:25:16.505 --> 02:25:20.445
And so if you find it in the first place,
you look, that is also the last place.

02:25:20.475 --> 02:25:21.975
If you find it in the
third place, you look.

02:25:21.975 --> 02:25:23.175
That's also the last place.

02:25:23.565 --> 02:25:28.065
And the thing is, when we're, when we're
going through these trials, the Lord

02:25:28.065 --> 02:25:33.540
delivers us in the last moment because
it'll always be the last moment because

02:25:33.840 --> 02:25:34.200
Becky Sampson: point.

02:25:34.215 --> 02:25:35.745
Jethro Jones: that's
when the trial's over.

02:25:35.745 --> 02:25:37.215
And that's okay.

02:25:37.695 --> 02:25:40.965
But it feels like in the moment,
like this has been going on

02:25:40.965 --> 02:25:42.855
forever and it will go on forever.

02:25:43.215 --> 02:25:46.995
And then the relief comes and I
think the point I'm trying to make

02:25:46.995 --> 02:25:49.815
is that if you start out saying.

02:25:50.340 --> 02:25:50.880
Okay.

02:25:50.970 --> 02:25:52.020
This is a trial.

02:25:52.020 --> 02:25:53.040
I'm in the middle of it.

02:25:53.280 --> 02:25:56.610
Where's the Lord's hand, and
how am I overcoming this?

02:25:56.910 --> 02:26:00.660
Then you don't have to wait
for the deliverance in the 11th

02:26:00.660 --> 02:26:04.650
hour, you can experience the
deliverance in the trial itself.

02:26:05.340 --> 02:26:08.705
That's an idea that I'm just starting to
grasp that I don't totally understand,

02:26:08.880 --> 02:26:09.450
Becky Sampson: that's being

02:26:09.505 --> 02:26:09.905
Jethro Jones: there's there.

02:26:10.410 --> 02:26:14.040
Becky Sampson: That's having
gratitude during the trial and

02:26:14.040 --> 02:26:16.380
gratitude for, for the moment.

02:26:16.380 --> 02:26:20.430
Again, the more that you have the
perspective that is happening for you,

02:26:20.865 --> 02:26:21.155
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:26:21.330 --> 02:26:21.930
Becky Sampson: a journey.

02:26:22.445 --> 02:26:22.735
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:26:23.070 --> 02:26:25.740
Becky Sampson: It's, it's, it
is, it is literally how am I

02:26:25.740 --> 02:26:31.740
gonna grow through this and, and
become a better person through it?

02:26:31.740 --> 02:26:34.020
And I, you know, I don't have any regrets.

02:26:34.020 --> 02:26:36.960
I don't know about you, but I look
back on my life and I mean, even my

02:26:36.960 --> 02:26:40.860
husband and I say this now you know,
would've been great if I met him

02:26:40.860 --> 02:26:42.330
when I was young and had these kids.

02:26:42.330 --> 02:26:45.360
But I said, I wouldn't have
been the same person like you.

02:26:45.360 --> 02:26:49.980
It would, I, I am so appreciative
of him now because of

02:26:49.980 --> 02:26:51.270
everything I've been through.

02:26:51.660 --> 02:26:54.480
I appreciate him more because
of all the men that I dated.

02:26:54.945 --> 02:26:55.365
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:26:55.410 --> 02:26:58.410
Becky Sampson: said, appreciation is
probably one of the biggest things that

02:26:58.410 --> 02:27:00.300
they are lacking in their relationships.

02:27:00.540 --> 02:27:04.320
I'm kinder to him because of
what I did to my first husband.

02:27:05.040 --> 02:27:11.190
You know, I, I am fighting like crazy
for the relationship because I didn't

02:27:11.190 --> 02:27:12.915
get the opportunity to do that the second

02:27:13.215 --> 02:27:13.635
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:27:14.115 --> 02:27:14.565
Becky Sampson: You know what I mean?

02:27:14.865 --> 02:27:17.415
So all of this happens.

02:27:17.835 --> 02:27:24.495
Um, you know, if we can look at that
and say, God knows I, I love what

02:27:24.495 --> 02:27:26.505
one of my girlfriends would call
when I was going through the divorce.

02:27:26.505 --> 02:27:29.020
She goes, Becky, God
knows what God's doing.

02:27:29.320 --> 02:27:29.610
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:27:29.620 --> 02:27:30.220
Becky Sampson: And I was like,

02:27:32.325 --> 02:27:35.205
and then one of my girlfriends like, but
then you're gonna look back on this and,

02:27:35.280 --> 02:27:38.835
and someday be able to say that this was
the best thing that ever happened to you.

02:27:38.835 --> 02:27:39.345
And I'm like,

02:27:41.020 --> 02:27:41.310
Jethro Jones: Yeah,

02:27:42.495 --> 02:27:45.855
Becky Sampson: I'm I, but I look
back now and go, oh my gosh.

02:27:45.855 --> 02:27:48.195
And it doesn't mean that
my life is perfect now.

02:27:48.550 --> 02:27:48.840
Jethro Jones: yeah,

02:27:48.975 --> 02:27:51.345
Becky Sampson: so beautiful about what
you're doing is every year that you

02:27:51.345 --> 02:27:55.395
and I get back together, I'm gonna
be able to go, oh, look at this.

02:27:55.430 --> 02:27:55.720
Jethro Jones: yeah.

02:27:55.940 --> 02:27:56.160
Yep.

02:27:56.460 --> 02:27:57.405
Becky Sampson: journey I've been on.

02:27:57.405 --> 02:27:59.115
But having the right perspective.

02:27:59.115 --> 02:28:03.075
And that's where, that's where
President Nelson has said to us

02:28:03.135 --> 02:28:10.005
is, is that, um, is that, you know,
having the eternal, um, what is it?

02:28:10.005 --> 02:28:10.635
The eternal

02:28:11.145 --> 02:28:11.985
Jethro Jones: The celestial.

02:28:12.075 --> 02:28:12.675
Think celestial.

02:28:12.975 --> 02:28:13.275
Becky Sampson: yeah.

02:28:13.275 --> 02:28:14.775
Think, think celestial.

02:28:15.195 --> 02:28:20.385
That is exactly, if you can think
celestial and pull the perspective away to

02:28:20.385 --> 02:28:23.085
be able to see the blessing and the gift,

02:28:23.565 --> 02:28:23.895
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:28:24.255 --> 02:28:25.575
Becky Sampson: then you
truly can be present

02:28:26.325 --> 02:28:26.655
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:28:26.745 --> 02:28:27.435
Becky Sampson: in that moment.

02:28:28.245 --> 02:28:28.635
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:28:29.115 --> 02:28:32.145
Well, I, I think that is a
great place for us to end.

02:28:32.205 --> 02:28:34.245
This has been so inspiring.

02:28:34.245 --> 02:28:38.415
Thank you so much for your time
and for your life and sharing

02:28:38.415 --> 02:28:39.765
so much of your story with us.

02:28:40.320 --> 02:28:42.660
Becky Sampson: Gosh, and thank
you, thank you for creating the

02:28:42.660 --> 02:28:44.100
space for me to be vulnerable.

02:28:44.100 --> 02:28:46.110
I mean, I don't, I don't
cry a lot about my dad.

02:28:46.530 --> 02:28:48.540
However, I, and it's okay for me to cry.

02:28:48.540 --> 02:28:50.190
I am not embarrassed or anything.

02:28:50.190 --> 02:28:52.590
I, it's a beautiful experience.

02:28:52.980 --> 02:28:57.330
Um, but I, I thank you for
listening to your own impression

02:28:57.330 --> 02:29:02.070
that God's put onto your heart do
this because you'll see blessings.

02:29:04.650 --> 02:29:06.750
You know, God knows what God's doing.

02:29:07.125 --> 02:29:07.545
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:29:07.560 --> 02:29:09.000
Becky Sampson: see blessings in your life.

02:29:09.600 --> 02:29:11.400
You're gonna bless other people's lives.

02:29:11.400 --> 02:29:14.985
And that's really the whole purpose
why we're here, is to serve one another

02:29:15.285 --> 02:29:15.705
Jethro Jones: Mm-hmm.

02:29:16.005 --> 02:29:20.130
Becky Sampson: to help uplift and
being, bring people to Christ.

02:29:20.160 --> 02:29:22.470
That's the whole purpose.

02:29:23.785 --> 02:29:24.005
Jethro Jones: Yep.

02:29:24.150 --> 02:29:27.330
Becky Sampson: no matter what religion
they are that listens to this or,

02:29:29.430 --> 02:29:31.590
but that, um, God loves them

02:29:32.255 --> 02:29:32.545
Jethro Jones: Yeah.

02:29:33.120 --> 02:29:35.730
Becky Sampson: and Christ did
what he did for all of us.

02:29:36.630 --> 02:29:36.990
Jethro Jones: Yep.

02:29:37.170 --> 02:29:37.800
Becky Sampson: So thank you

02:29:38.430 --> 02:29:39.030
Jethro Jones: Thank you.

02:29:39.480 --> 02:29:41.100
And thank you everybody who's listening.

02:29:41.340 --> 02:29:44.580
We will catch up with
Becky again in a year.

02:29:44.670 --> 02:29:45.570
It's gonna be awesome.

02:29:45.630 --> 02:29:47.130
Becky Sampson: until next year.