1
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:32,140
The DINKWAP Show. Dual income. No kids.

2
00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:34,960
With a podcast.

3
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:55,220
Rem: Hello guys and welcome to another

4
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:58,080
Rem: episode of the DINKWAP Show.

5
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,080
Rem: I almost said "Weekend Winedown Podcast"

6
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,080
Rem: Welcome to the DINKWAP Show

7
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,520
Rem: And this is your host, Rem.

8
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:08,520
Alvia: And Alvia.

9
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:14,770
Rem: So we left a hanging question last episode

10
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:18,770
Rem: So we were discussing that we are DINKs.

11
00:01:18,770 --> 00:01:23,120
Rem: Dual income. No kids. So we decided to

12
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,640
Rem: not have kids

13
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:28,640
Rem: and have, you know, build our lives with

14
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,760
Rem: a couple of incomes. Income streams.

15
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,760
Alvia: I got confused, who's the couple?

16
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:44,720
Alvia: Obviously, this is not scripted. Poetic.

17
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:50,720
Rem: I am the Jose Rizal of podcasts

18
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,720
Rem: So we decided not to have children. We

19
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:04,250
Rem: decided not to have biological children.

20
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:05,800
Rem: So that's, 

21
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,300
Rem: we should put an emphasis on that. But

22
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:12,960
Rem: in the future, if we're settled,

23
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:20,560
Rem: and we feel like we want to have kids,

24
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:27,120
Rem: are you open or are we open to adopting

25
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,210
Rem: children?

26
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:33,210
Alvia: I thought we were going to...

27
00:02:35,210 --> 00:02:36,210
Alvia: The topic is serious...

28
00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:38,160
Alvia: but we're so out of it.

29
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,500
Rem: No, so that's it's lighthearted. For

30
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:44,130
Rem: example, this is good. These techniques.

31
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:47,700
Rem: For example, the listener is about to get angry.

32
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,680
Rem: Then, it will be cringey.

33
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,070
Alvia: It will be cringey. They will get

34
00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:54,270
Alvia: angrier. But anyway, to answer your

35
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:56,880
Alvia: question before we go to another topic.

36
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:03,870
Alvia: I think yes. Probably. Because we've

37
00:03:03,870 --> 00:03:05,920
Alvia: talked about it before. That's always an

38
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:06,320
Alvia: option.

39
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,010
Alvia: Because with biological clock and

40
00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:12,810
Alvia: everything. And I also have PCOS. And I

41
00:03:12,810 --> 00:03:14,240
Alvia: have a history of

42
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,580
Alvia: fertility issues with my mom. So

43
00:03:16,580 --> 00:03:20,810
Alvia: probably, me too. Or whatever. With PCOS

44
00:03:20,810 --> 00:03:21,840
Alvia: and everything.

45
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,840
Rem: Explain that. Let's explain PCOS.

46
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:27,840
Alvia: I haven't answered the question yet, you

47
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:27,840
Alvia: already have another question.

48
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,440
Rem: Okay, after this. There's a follow-up

49
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:31,840
Rem: question. Of course, we're like that.

50
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:36,330
Alvia: Anyway, let's go to PCOS. So, it's polycystic

51
00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:41,840
Alvia: ovary syndrome. But it's kind of a misnomer

52
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,840
Alvia: because there's no cyst.

53
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,840
Rem: That's why other people are afraid.

54
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,640
Alvia: Although, some people have a different

55
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,840
Alvia: condition. But for me, it's like,

56
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,140
Alvia: imagine you have an ovary and it's

57
00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:55,840
Alvia: like an asteroid cloud.

58
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,840
Rem: Asteroid cloud? Wait.

59
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,840
Alvia: There's like bits on the side.

60
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,820
Rem: I will imagine. Wait. I don't know what

61
00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:03,840
Rem: an asteroid cloud is.

62
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,410
Alvia: You don't know how an ovary looks and an asteroid

63
00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:06,840
Alvia: cloud.

64
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:07,570
Rem: No, I don't know what an asteroid cloud is

65
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:13,840
Alvia: It's like, there's clouds. I don't know.

66
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,870
Alvia: There's something. When you ultrasound

67
00:04:16,870 --> 00:04:19,140
Alvia: your ovary, there's something that's

68
00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:19,840
Alvia: wrapping it.

69
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:23,600
Alvia: So basically, it's different in severity

70
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,840
Alvia: and different in women. But basically,

71
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,840
Alvia: it wacks up your hormones.

72
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:33,440
Alvia: So for me, thankfully, it's mild. But it's

73
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,080
Alvia: both ovaries. So it's very common. Like

74
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,240
Alvia: 80 plus percent of women have it to some

75
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,840
Alvia: degree.

76
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:42,780
Alvia: So for others, the extreme cases, it's

77
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:45,840
Alvia: like they have their periods only twice a year.

78
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:50,030
Alvia: It's like that. For me, it's just

79
00:04:50,030 --> 00:04:53,300
Alvia: irregular. I thought I was just getting

80
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:54,840
Alvia: older.

81
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,840
Alvia: Because it's my first time having dysmenorrhea.

82
00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,840
Alvia: Which never happened to me before.

83
00:04:58,840 --> 00:04:59,840
Rem: Men are like huh?

84
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:03,840
Alvia: Yeah. The stomach hurts. It hurts a lot.

85
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:08,000
Alvia: And then you get acne breakouts. There's

86
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,840
Alvia: weird stuff in your body.

87
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,800
Alvia: But anyway, that's the thing. I'm not a

88
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:15,840
Alvia: doctor.

89
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,840
Rem: But if 80 percent of women have it...

90
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,840
Alvia: Have it to some degree.

91
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:25,610
Rem: Like, it's actually the norm. It's not

92
00:05:25,610 --> 00:05:26,840
Rem: abnormal.

93
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:30,920
Alvia: To sidebar, the reason I discovered I had PCOS

94
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,070
Alvia: I accompanied our "only friend" to get

95
00:05:33,070 --> 00:05:33,840
Alvia: checked up.

96
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:34,840
Rem: She should've been here with us.

97
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:36,840
Alvia: Yeah, because she has PCOS.

98
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,840
Alvia: And I got checked up too.

99
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:42,430
Alvia: Our friendship is amazing, guys. We went

100
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:43,840
Alvia: together to the OB-GYNE.

101
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:44,840
Rem: That's how they date.

102
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,840
Alvia: That's how our friendship is.

103
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:47,840
Rem: OB Date.

104
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:52,450
Alvia: It's not common to get checked up

105
00:05:52,450 --> 00:05:58,050
Alvia: because it's a different process. It's

106
00:05:58,050 --> 00:05:58,840
Alvia: not like an APE.

107
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:01,040
Alvia: You need to get an ultrasound for your

108
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,840
Alvia: ovaries. It's not comfortable.

109
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:06,840
Alvia: But anyway, that's the thing.

110
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:12,330
Alvia: For me, it's not very extreme. But they

111
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:16,180
Alvia: also said that I really need to adjust

112
00:06:16,180 --> 00:06:19,840
Alvia: my lifestyle, be active.

113
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:25,240
Alvia: And PCOS is prone to diabetes, so you'll get

114
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,840
Alvia: checked up for prediabetes.

115
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:30,840
Alvia: So I'm not prediabetic.

116
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:35,690
Alvia: But almost. I'm just there when I'm at

117
00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:39,640
Alvia: the level where I'm already very near the

118
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:40,840
Alvia: threshold.

119
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,840
Alvia: I'm almost there.

120
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:42,840
Rem: You're almost there.

121
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,840
Alvia: So anyway, what was the question?

122
00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:47,840
Alvia: The one about the biographical...

123
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,840
Rem: Biographical child.

124
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,840
Alvia: Biological child.

125
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:52,840
Rem: Is that okay?

126
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:57,840
Alvia: I'm stupid. So anyway, one of my

127
00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,840
Alvia: siblings is adopted.

128
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,840
Rem: That's your youngest, right?

129
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,620
Alvia: I don't love her any different than my

130
00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:08,840
Alvia: other siblings.

131
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:12,480
Alvia: So I won't say anything about the

132
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,260
Alvia: sibling favoritism ranking because they

133
00:07:16,260 --> 00:07:16,840
Alvia: all know.

134
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:17,840
Rem: They know who's the favorite.

135
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,030
Alvia: They all know. So I don't love

136
00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:24,580
Alvia: her any different. I don't treat her any

137
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:25,840
Alvia: different.

138
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:31,330
Alvia: So I thought, if there is a chance that

139
00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:35,840
Alvia: somewhere down the road, let's have a...

140
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:39,620
Alvia: There is a child who needs a home and we're

141
00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:42,870
Alvia: the ones who are fit to care for that

142
00:07:42,870 --> 00:07:43,840
Alvia: child.

143
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:47,160
Alvia: Why not? Because she's already there. We just

144
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:51,960
Alvia: don't want to put a new life into this

145
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,840
Alvia: world as much as possible.

146
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,840
Alvia: But she's already here.

147
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,840
Alvia: But I hope she's not too baby.

148
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,840
Rem: We can't handle a baby.

149
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,250
Alvia: What if we're already 50 and we're still

150
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,840
Alvia: going to have a potty train?

151
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:12,320
Rem: So for me, it's the same. I don't know

152
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,840
Rem: why I'm a weirdo kid.

153
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:17,250
Rem: But I've thought about it. If ever,

154
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:20,840
Rem: maybe I should adopt instead.

155
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:25,840
Rem: If I have the capacity to raise a child,

156
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,840
Rem: and I feel like I'm ready.

157
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:32,830
Rem: Why not instead of having my own child

158
00:08:32,830 --> 00:08:35,840
Rem: coming from my own blood.

159
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,840
Rem: I almost said something bad.

160
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,840
Alvia: I thought so.

161
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,840
Rem: I dodged a bullet there.

162
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,840
Alvia: Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

163
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:56,840
Rem: The demon and the angel are talking.

164
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:57,840
Rem: "Say it."

165
00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,840
Alvia: I read it in your eyes.

166
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,840
Rem: "Say it."

167
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:02,840
Alvia: "Go."

168
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:03,840
Rem: "Go."

169
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,840
Rem: Look what's going to happen.

170
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,840
Rem: The angel won.

171
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,840
Alvia: Couldn't help but laugh.

172
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,840
Alvia: I knew what you were going to say.

173
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,840
Alvia: But anyway.

174
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:18,840
Rem: This podcast is already R18.

175
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,840
Rem: It's ok to slip.

176
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,840
Alvia: Don't do it. Let's keep it PG.

177
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:27,840
Rem: I'm lost.

178
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,840
Rem: Instead of coming from me,

179
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,840
Rem: I'm still laughing.

180
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,840
Alvia: I think they get it.

181
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:39,840
Rem: There's already someone here

182
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,840
Rem: who needs help.

183
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:43,840
Rem: There's a child here

184
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,840
Rem: who's been abandoned.

185
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,840
Rem: Either abandoned or

186
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,840
Rem: what do you call it?

187
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,840
Rem: The one whose parents left them?

188
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,840
Rem: Whatever

189
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,840
Rem: Orphaned.

190
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,840
Rem: What's wrong...?

191
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,840
Alvia: J-Riz of podcasts.

192
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,840
Rem: What's wrong with me?

193
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,670
Alvia: We just went on vacation and you lost

194
00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:06,840
Alvia: your vocabulary.

195
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,840
Alvia: English, Tagalog.

196
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:10,840
Rem: They say "New Year...

197
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,840
Rem: ...New Me." This is the new me.

198
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,840
Rem: I have no words.

199
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,840
Rem: Literally.

200
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,840
Alvia: It all goes down from here.

201
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,840
Rem: But this one who needs help...

202
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,490
Rem: If I have the capacity to help this

203
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:23,840
Rem: child,

204
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:28,890
Rem: I have that opportunity to change the

205
00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:31,840
Rem: course of their life.

206
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,650
Alvia: What if you don't make the child's

207
00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:34,840
Alvia: life better after you adopt them?

208
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,840
Rem: That's my fault.

209
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,840
Alvia: So you didn't really help?

210
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,840
Rem: If I ever feel like I can do it, I will.

211
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,840
Rem: In the Philippines,

212
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,840
Rem: is there a strict assessment

213
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,840
Rem: for those who want to adopt children?

214
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,840
Alvia: We're like...

215
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,840
Alvia: I'm going to say it again.

216
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,840
Alvia: DepEd.

217
00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,840
Alvia: I'm so stupid.

218
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:00,840
Alvia: So annoying.

219
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,840
Rem: It's the third episode.

220
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,840
Alvia: We're smart.

221
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,840
Alvia: Is it DPWH?

222
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,840
Rem: What?

223
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,840
Alvia: DSWD!

224
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,840
Alvia: So stupid!

225
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,840
Alvia: Are we going to adopt a highway?!

226
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,840
Alvia: So senseless.

227
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,840
Alvia: Let's stop this.

228
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,840
Alvia: Let's sleep.

229
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:25,840
Alvia: DSWD!

230
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,840
Alvia: So stupid.

231
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,840
Alvia: I don't want to do podcasts anymore.

232
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:33,840
Rem: Wait, guys.

233
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,840
Rem: My tummy is hurting from laughing.

234
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,840
Alvia: Going to adopt a highway!

235
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,840
Alvia: So senseless.

236
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,840
Rem: Going to build a flyover.

237
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,840
Alvia: You also didn't know!

238
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,840
Alvia: You were looking at me when I said,

239
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,840
Alvia: "DPWH." You were agreeing.

240
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:51,840
Rem: No.

241
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,840
Alvia: I'm crying.

242
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,840
Rem: I said, "Did I hear that right?"

243
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,840
Alvia: I'm crying.

244
00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,840
Rem: This episode is so messy.

245
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,840
Alvia: We're running out of time.

246
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,840
Alvia: Anyway, DSWD!

247
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,840
Alvia: So, DSWD came to us.

248
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,330
Alvia: They interviewed all the members of the

249
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:09,840
Alvia: family.

250
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,430
Alvia: Get over it. We won't adopt

251
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:13,840
Alvia: a highway.

252
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:18,140
Alvia: They'll assess your financial and

253
00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:19,840
Alvia: emotional capacity.

254
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,840
Alvia: We were all interviewed.

255
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,840
Alvia: They'll check your house.

256
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,840
Alvia: If it's livable.

257
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:31,840
Alvia: Of course everyone should

258
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,840
Alvia: all agree.

259
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,840
Alvia: That's how it was.

260
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,840
Rem: Has to be unanimous?

261
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,840
Alvia: I was in college.

262
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,840
Alvia: I have younger siblings.

263
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,840
Alvia: They're in high school.

264
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,840
Alvia: They were also interviewed.

265
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,840
Alvia: Get over it!

266
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:51,180
Alvia: Move on. We're running out of

267
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:51,840
Alvia: time.

268
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,840
Alvia: That's the process I know.

269
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,840
Alvia: I don't know if it changed

270
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:59,840
Alvia: or if the circumstances in my family

271
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:00,840
Alvia: were different.

272
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,840
Alvia: That's what I know.

273
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,840
Alvia: I know in our case...

274
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,840
Alvia: I won't dive into it.

275
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,840
Alvia: Usually, they match you up with an orphan.

276
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,840
Alvia: They choose.

277
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,840
Rem: You can't choose.

278
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,840
Rem: It's not like in the movies.

279
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,840
Alvia: We fostered first.

280
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,840
Alvia: We fostered before we adopted.

281
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,350
Rem: What's the difference between fostering

282
00:13:23,350 --> 00:13:23,840
Rem: and adoption?

283
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,840
Alvia: In my understanding...

284
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,840
Alvia: Fostering is temporary.

285
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,840
Alvia: It's for a limited time.

286
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,840
Rem: What's the purpose of that?

287
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,840
Alvia: I don't know for sure.

288
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:42,330
Alvia: I'm not a psychologist or a community

289
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:43,840
Alvia: worker.

290
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:49,840
Alvia: I don't know about kids, but I know

291
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:49,840
Alvia: in the case of dogs,

292
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,840
Alvia: they do it that way too.

293
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:54,840
Alvia: For example, the dog was just taken off the street.

294
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:59,840
Alvia: Some has to take care of it temporarily

295
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,840
Alvia: until it gets better.

296
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,280
Alvia: Or until it adjusts to a home

297
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:04,840
Alvia: environment.

298
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:06,840
Alvia: It's like that.

299
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,840
Rem: Don't you think it's confusing for kids?

300
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,840
Alvia: I'm not sure.

301
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,840
Rem: Well we're not experts.

302
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,840
Rem: I hope we can talk to them.

303
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:17,360
Alvia: I even said mistakenly it's DPWH is the one

304
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:18,840
Alvia: who talked to us.

305
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:20,840
Rem: Don't listen to us.

306
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,840
Rem: We're so wrong.

307
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,840
Alvia: We're so worthless.

308
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:29,840
Alvia: I know it's not the norm for people.

309
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,210
Alvia: Of course, there's stigma around it, but

310
00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:34,840
Alvia: that's their belief.

311
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,840
Rem: Let's dive into the stigma.

312
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:46,840
Rem: My mother always urged me to have kids.

313
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,840
Rem: Even before I got married.

314
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:54,280
Rem: I was really set on being single for the

315
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,840
Rem: rest of my life.

316
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,840
Rem: But that's what happened.

317
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,840
Rem: I am so handsome.

318
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,840
Rem: I'm sorry.

319
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,570
Rem: I feel bad for the people who are

320
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:06,840
Rem: listening to this.

321
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,680
Rem: No, actully, they're lucky they don't see

322
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:10,840
Rem: what's happening.

323
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,840
Rem: But she urged me.

324
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,840
Rem: I told her, "why would I want to have my own kids,

325
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,840
Rem: I can always adopt."

326
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:23,840
Rem: She told me, "It's still different if the child is yours."

327
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,840
Rem: There's another one.

328
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,840
Alvia: She's not from your blood.

329
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,840
Rem: "It's different if.."

330
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,840
Rem: No, not like that.

331
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,840
Rem: It's a bit harsh...

332
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,840
Rem: "You don't know where the child came from."

333
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,840
Rem: And all the connotations around it.

334
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,840
Rem: "The child might grow up as a bad person."

335
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,840
Rem: "It might harm you."

336
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,840
Rem: I mean, that's a child.

337
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,110
Alvia: No matter where it came from, that's

338
00:15:51,110 --> 00:15:51,840
Alvia: still a child.

339
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:52,840
Rem: That's a child!

340
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,840
Rem: Why are you judging the child that way?

341
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,840
Alvia: It's because of the TV dramas.

342
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,840
Alvia: And the movies.

343
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,840
Alvia: They watched those.

344
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,840
Rem: We should do an episode about it.

345
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,840
Rem: Although we've talked about it before.

346
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,840
Rem: About nature and nurture.

347
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,840
Rem: For me, what's the difference?

348
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,840
Rem: First, is your spouse a blood relative?

349
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,840
Rem: You loved him, but he's not your blood.

350
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,840
Rem: What's the difference with a child?

351
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,840
Rem: Right?

352
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,840
Rem: What's the difference with a child?

353
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:28,840
Rem: And it was a beautiful thing for me.

354
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:33,850
Rem: Because your family, you had an adopted

355
00:16:33,850 --> 00:16:34,840
Rem: sister.

356
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:38,840
Rem: So now, when people tell me that,

357
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:39,840
Rem: "it's still different".

358
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:40,840
Rem: Why?

359
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,840
Rem: Is Alvia's adopted sister different?

360
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:43,840
Rem: Right?

361
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,840
Rem: That shuts them up.

362
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,840
Alvia: Because it's more concrete.

363
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:49,840
Rem: This is the real deal.

364
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,840
Rem: Because there's actually a family member

365
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:52,840
Rem: here

366
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,840
Rem: that we all love.

367
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,840
Alvia: And she looks like us.

368
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,840
Alvia: It's not obvious.

369
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,840
Rem: So when I first came to your house,

370
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,840
Rem: I didn't notice that she was adopted.

371
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,840
Alvia: Just the age gap.

372
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:10,840
Rem: And it's okay that the child knows.

373
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,840
Alvia: Yes, she knows.

374
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,840
Alvia: And we don't treat her differently.

375
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:15,840
Rem: There's nothing.

376
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:16,840
Alvia: There's nothing.

377
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,840
Alvia: In fairness, even in our extended family,

378
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,840
Alvia: when we decided to adopt,

379
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,840
Alvia: she was already 4 years old.

380
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:27,840
Alvia: She was already old enough.

381
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,840
Alvia: And they really welcomed her.

382
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,840
Alvia: She has gifts for Christmas.

383
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:35,840
Alvia: So she's not treated any different

384
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,840
Alvia: than any other family member.

385
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:42,840
Alvia: She's also not treated more special.

386
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,840
Alvia: Because sometimes,

387
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,840
Alvia: it's also damaging.

388
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,840
Alvia: We treat her just enough.

389
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:49,840
Alvia: Like a normal sister.

390
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:50,840
Rem: Like a real sister.

391
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:51,840
Rem: Bullied like the others...

392
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:53,840
Alvia: Ordered to fetch water.

393
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,840
Rem: Right?

394
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,840
Rem: However you treat your child...

395
00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,840
Alvia: It's hard.

396
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,840
Alvia: Because if you don't know,

397
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,840
Alvia: for people who don't know,

398
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:04,840
Alvia: haven't experienced it,

399
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,840
Alvia: what's their basis?

400
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:07,840
Rem: That's why.

401
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:08,840
Alvia: Let's say.

402
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:09,840
Rem: Like they say,

403
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,840
Rem: we saw on TikTok before.

404
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,840
Rem: It's like,

405
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,840
Rem: she was being teased.

406
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,840
Alvia: That she's adopted.

407
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,840
Rem: "Your just adopted!"

408
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,840
Rem: But she had a good comeback.

409
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,840
Rem: She said,

410
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,840
Rem: "I, you,

411
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,840
Rem: oh, it's me."

412
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,840
Rem: Let's start over.

413
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,840
Alvia: So we can make a soundbite.

414
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:35,840
Rem: Yes.

415
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:36,840
Alvia: Okay, let's do it again.

416
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,840
Alvia: Okay, back to start.

417
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,840
Rem: "I, was chosen by my mom.

418
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,840
Rem: You,

419
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,840
Rem: she had no choice."

420
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,840
Alvia: "You could be an accident."

421
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:49,840
Rem: Something like that.

422
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,840
Rem: So, right?

423
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,840
Rem: So, I feel,

424
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,840
Rem: I believe that

425
00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:01,840
Rem: the love that you choose,

426
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,840
Rem: in spite of you not being blood related,

427
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,840
Rem: for me, that's the purest form of love.

428
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:13,840
Rem: You don't have any obligation

429
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,840
Rem: to love that person.

430
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:16,840
Rem: But you choose to.

431
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,840
Alvia: Isn't that the video before,

432
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,840
Alvia: Jimmy Alapag and his wife?

433
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:21,840
Rem: Yes.

434
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,840
Alvia: Their story is beautiful.

435
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,840
Alvia: But they also felt,

436
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,840
Alvia: their eldest is adopted,

437
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:30,840
Alvia: they felt,

438
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,840
Alvia: when they saw the child in the orphanage,

439
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,840
Alvia: they felt he was their son.

440
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:37,840
Alvia: Something like that.

441
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:38,840
Rem: So,

442
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,840
Alvia: maybe there's something like that.

443
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:41,840
Rem: Yeah.

444
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,840
Rem: So guys,

445
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,840
Rem: I hope,

446
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:46,840
Rem: to the viewers,

447
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,840
Rem: you get a different view on adoption.

448
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,840
Rem: And if ever,

449
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,840
Rem: you have the capacity to,

450
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:54,840
Rem: actually,

451
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,840
Rem: adopt another person,

452
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,840
Rem: another, a child.

453
00:19:58,840 --> 00:19:59,840
Alvia: Another person.

454
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:00,840
Rem: Another person.

455
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:01,840
Alvia: 20 years old.

456
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,840
Rem: I'm so confused.

457
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:04,840
Rem: I have so many things to say.

458
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:05,840
Alvia: It's annoying.

459
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,840
Alvia: You know,

460
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,840
Alvia: if you have the chance to

461
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,840
Alvia: open up your home,

462
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:13,840
Alvia: open up your heart,

463
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,840
Alvia: to a child,

464
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,840
Alvia: who needs a family,

465
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,840
Alvia: who needs parents,

466
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,840
Alvia: maybe it's something you can think about.

467
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:21,840
Rem: Especially to the,

468
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,840
Rem: let's continue this in the next episode.

469
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,840
Rem: Because we're running out of time.

470
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:28,840
Rem: Anyway,

471
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,840
Rem: thank you again for tuning in

472
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,840
Rem: to the DINKWAP show.

473
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,840
Rem: And we'll see you on the next episode.

474
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:37,840
Alvia: Bye.

475
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:41,840
You were listening to the Dinkwap show.

476
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,840
[outro music]