MARK: Welcome to another edition of 'Happening in Pocatello'. It's Monday, July 20, 2026, and if you haven't melted into a puddle of sarcasm and sweat on the sidewalk yet, you're doing better than I am. I'm Mark, your composed voice of reason in this desert of madness, and I'm joined as always by Joleen, who's currently looking like she wants to punch the sun right in its burning face.

JOLEEN: I don't just want to punch it, Mark, I want to file a restraining order against the entire solar system. It's too damn hot for any civilized human to exist. But here we are, back again to tell you why this city is still the best place to be, even if the air currently feels like a blow dryer aimed directly at your soul. We've got a lot to get through today, from the city council killing our dreams of a robot takeover to the actual 'Last Resort' coming to the Portneuf Health Trust Amphitheatre later this week. If you like what we do, make sure you like, subscribe, and leave a comment telling us how much you hate the heat. If you've got a tip or just want to tell us we're assholes, hit us up at pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com.

MARK: That's the spirit, Joleen. Let's start with our top headline, which is the Pocatello City Council basically telling the future to go fuck itself. Last Thursday night, the council held a meeting that was packed tighter than a sardine can with residents who are apparently terrified of computers. They officially upheld the decision to deny an appeal from Lex Developments, who wanted to bring an artificial intelligence data center to the Portneuf Valley. I guess we're sticking with potatoes and phosphate for now because God forbid we have something that doesn't smell like a matchstick factory.

JOLEEN: Oh, it was a classic Gate City showdown. You had a hundred people crammed into the chambers, probably half of them convinced that a data center would somehow lead to Skynet taking over the Simplot plant. The council voted to uphold the hearing examiner's previous denial, which really feels like a punch in the dick for anyone hoping for some high-tech job growth. Lex Developments was trying to argue that this was a 'permitted use' for the land, but the council wasn't having any of it. They cited concerns about noise, power usage, and the fact that it just doesn't fit the 'character' of the area. Since when did our character involve turning down millions in investment because we're scared of a giant box of fans?

MARK: It's the ultimate 'not in my backyard' move, isn't it? People moved near an industrial zone and then got shocked when someone wanted to build something industrial. It's like moving next to a sewage plant and complaining that your morning coffee tastes like shit. Lex Developments argued that they'd met all the criteria, but the council stayed firm. It's a weird message to send to the tech world. 'Welcome to Pocatello, please leave your servers at the border and pick up a shovel on your way in.' I'm sure some neighbors are celebrating, but the tax revenue we're losing out on would've been a nice change of pace from our usual budget-tightening bullshit.

JOLEEN: Exactly. We're always bitching about the brain drain and how kids leave Pocatello the second they get a degree from ISU, and then we block the one project that actually requires a brain to operate. It's maddening. Now we just have a vacant lot and a bunch of self-congratulatory neighbors who think they've saved the valley from the robot uprising. Meanwhile, we're all still paying through the nose for everything else. I'm sure Lex Developments will just take their servers and their money to some other town that isn't stuck in the nineteen-seventies.

MARK: Moving on to something a bit more serious, we've got a crime report that needs your attention. The Pocatello Police Department issued a statewide Endangered Missing Persons Alert for a local woman. Sixty-eight-year-old Linda Smith has been missing since Friday, and the situation is pretty dire because she's diabetic and doesn't have her medication. She was last seen in the area of her home on the west bench, and she might be driving a silver twenty-fifteen Honda CR-V. If you're out and about, especially in the more rural areas around the city, please keep your eyes peeled for that car. This isn't one of those things where we can just wait and see; she needs help now.

JOLEEN: It's a terrifying situation for her family. When you add the extreme heat we're having to a medical condition like diabetes, the clock is ticking way too fast. The police haven't given a specific direction of travel, which makes it even harder. She could be anywhere between here and Blackfoot or headed down toward Preston. Just look for a silver CR-V with Idaho plates and if you see anything that looks like it might be her, don't be a dickhead and wait, call nine-one-one immediately. We're hoping for a safe return, but the silence since Friday is definitely getting heavy.

MARK: Switching gears to something a bit more routine, but equally stressful if you're a parent: school district news. Believe it or not, we're staring down the barrel of the twenty-twenty-six, twenty-twenty-seven school year. Registration for School District twenty-five is officially open, and the district is pushing everyone to get their paperwork done now rather than waiting until the week before classes start. It's that annual tradition where you realize your kids have outgrown every single piece of clothing you bought them last year and you're about to drop a mortgage payment on binders and pencils.

JOLEEN: Don't remind me. The 'Back to School' displays are already up in the stores, and it feels like a personal attack. Summer's barely half over, and they're already shoving glue sticks in our faces. But for real, the district is using the online portal for most of the registration stuff again. If you're new to the area, you'll need to head to the district office on Pole Line Road. And for the love of everything holy, check your immunization records now. Every year there's a line of frantic parents at the health clinic trying to get their kids poked so they don't get kicked out on day one. It's a predictable disaster that we could all avoid if we weren't so damn lazy.

MARK: I'm sure the registration process is just a delight. I remember the days of physical paperwork where you had to sign your name forty times. Now it's all digital, which just means you get to experience the frustration of a website crashing instead of a hand cramp. It's progress, I guess. At least the Highland High kids have something to look forward to with the rebuild progressing, even if they aren't back in the main building yet. It's going to be another year of 'making it work' for a lot of students, so maybe we can all try to be a little less like assholes when the school traffic kicks back up in a few weeks.

JOLEEN: Good luck with that. Pocatello drivers and school zones go together like bleach and ammonia. But hey, if you need to drown your sorrows about the end of summer, let's talk about food. I finally stopped by The Three-One-Three over on Main Street. Since we can't talk about Buddy's or Cafe Tuscano for the hundredth time, I figured I'd try something with a little more grit. It's that Detroit-style pizza spot, and honestly, it's the kind of grease I needed in my life. The crust is thick, crispy on the edges, and it actually has some flavor, unlike some of the cardboard we've been served elsewhere in this town.

MARK: I've heard people raving about the 'Motor City' vibes in there. It's refreshing to have a place that doesn't just do the standard thin-crust-limp-pepperoni routine. They've got a decent tap list, too. It's the kind of place where you can sit down, forget that it's a hundred degrees outside, and just destroy a deep-dish square while questioning every health decision you've ever made. The atmosphere is cool, very industrial-chic, which ironically is the 'character' the city council seems to hate, but it works for a pizza joint.

JOLEEN: It really does. I had the 'Red Wing' which is basically a buffalo chicken pizza but done with actual respect for the ingredients. The blue cheese wasn't that weird watery shit you get at the grocery store. It's a solid choice if you're downtown and want something that'll sit in your stomach like a happy, delicious brick for the next six hours. Plus, the service was actually fast. I didn't have to wait forty-five minutes for a drink while the server ignored me to talk to their friends. That alone makes it a five-star experience in my book.

MARK: Alright, let's talk sports. Since it's mid-July, things are a little quiet on the ISU front, but we have to look back at the absolute heater the Idaho State Softball team was on. They grabbed the program's first Big Sky Tournament Title back in May, and honestly, the momentum from that is still carrying through the summer camps. It was a massive win for the Bengals, beating Portland State to clinch it. Now, as we look toward the fall, the buzz around campus is all about whether they can repeat that kind of dominance. It's nice to see a Bengal team actually holding a trophy instead of just a 'thanks for playing' ribbon.

JOLEEN: Hey, don't be a dick, Mark. The Bengals have heart; they just don't always have the scoreboard. But the softball win was legit. And for those of you who need a live fix right now, the Gate City Grays are still the best show in town. They've got a game coming up on August first at Halliwell Park, which is basically the church of summer baseball in Pocatello. If you haven't been to a Grays game, you're missing out on the purest form of the sport: guys playing for the love of the game and fans drinking beer in the sun and yelling at the umpire like it's a professional wrestling match.

MARK: Halliwell Park is a goddamn treasure. There's something about the smell of hot dogs and old wood that just feels right. The Grays have been holding their own this season, and the community support is always top-tier. It's cheap, it's fun, and it's local. What more do you want? Well, maybe some air conditioning, but you can't have everything. If you're looking for something to do this weekend that isn't sitting in front of a fan, checking out the local baseball scene is the way to go.

JOLEEN: Speaking of things to do, the community calendar is actually surprisingly full for a week that feels like a literal oven. This Wednesday, July twenty-second, 'Revive at Five' is happening at Lookout Point. It's the classic summer concert series, and it's a great place to people-watch while pretending you aren't sweating through your shirt. Then on Thursday, the big one hits. Papa Roach is playing at The Port. Yeah, you heard me. The early two-thousands are back, baby. I fully expect to see a bunch of forty-year-olds in cargo shorts trying to mosh like they don't have back problems.

MARK: I'm genuinely curious if Jacoby Shaddix still has that same energy. 'Last Resort' is going to echo through the Portneuf Gap like a cry for help. It's a great venue for it, though. The Portneuf Health Trust Amphitheatre has really stepped up their game lately with the bookings. If nu-metal isn't your brand of angst, the Palace Theatre is running 'West Side Story' starting this Thursday and going through the weekend. It's a bit of a tonal shift from Papa Roach, going from 'suffocation, no breathing' to finger-snapping gang wars, but hey, variety is the spice of life in the Gate City.

JOLEEN: I'll take the finger-snapping over the moshing any day. My knees can't handle a circle pit anymore. And don't forget the Portneuf Valley Farmers Market on Saturday morning at Lookout Point. It's the best place to get produce that didn't travel three thousand miles in a refrigerated truck. Plus, the people-watching is elite. You've got the ultra-hippies, the suburban moms, and the people who are clearly just there for the breakfast burritos. It's a beautiful cross-section of our weird little town.

MARK: Let's pivot to the weather, which is the topic of every conversation in town right now. The National Weather Service in Pocatello has issued a Heat Advisory that's in effect until eight tonight. We're looking at a high of ninety-eight today with plenty of sunshine. If you're planning on being outside, you better be wearing a gallon of sunscreen and carrying a fire extinguisher. There's a slight chance of rain after five p.m., but knowing our luck, it'll just be enough to make the humidity unbearable without actually cooling anything down.

JOLEEN: It's the classic Idaho tease. A few drops of rain that turn the dust into mud on your windshield and then disappear. Tomorrow isn't much better, with a high of ninety-five and a slight chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon. Wednesday is the 'cool' day of the week, if you consider eighty-nine degrees cool. We've got a fifty percent chance of rain on Wednesday night, which honestly sounds like a dream. But don't get too excited, because by Friday, we're right back up to ninety-four and staying there through the weekend. It's like we're living inside a giant air fryer.

MARK: I've already accepted that I'll be sleeping in the basement until September. The low temperatures at night are staying in the mid-to-high sixties, so the houses aren't even getting a chance to cool off. It's miserable. And speaking of miserable, let's talk about road construction. Johnny Creek Road is still a disaster zone. The city says the work is on track, but that doesn't help when you're stuck behind a flagger in ninety-degree heat while your engine temperature gauge starts creeping toward the red zone.

JOLEEN: The Johnny Creek project is supposed to wrap up by the end of October, which is basically an eternity in construction time. One lane is staying open, but the delays are real. It's that classic Pocatello experience: you leave five minutes early and end up ten minutes late because of a single orange cone. They're doing important work, I'm sure, fixing the pipes and the pavement, but it feels like we've been dodging those barrels since the dawn of time. Just be patient, or do what I do and take the long way around even if it's five miles out of your way just to avoid the frustration.

MARK: Patience isn't exactly a local virtue when it's this hot. If you see a construction worker, maybe throw them a cold bottle of water instead of a middle finger. They're the ones actually standing on the hot asphalt while we bitch about our AC not being cold enough. We've also got some real estate news to touch on. The market in Pocatello is still holding steady, which is a polite way of saying it's still expensive as hell to buy anything that isn't haunted or falling down. Median prices are hovering in that three-hundred-thousand-plus range, and inventory is trickling in but not fast enough to satisfy the demand.

JOLEEN: And the big news for the south side of town is the official word on the first standalone Chick-fil-A. It's slated for late twenty-twenty-six, which is still a ways off, but the hype is already building. People in this town act like a new chicken sandwich is the second coming. It's going to be interesting to see what that does to the property values and the traffic in that area. It's another sign that despite the city council's best efforts to keep us in the stone age with the data center denial, commercial growth is still happening. We're getting more options, even if it means more drive-thru lines.

MARK: I can already see the traffic jam on day one. It'll probably back up all the way to Chubbuck. But hey, that's Pocatello for you. We'll fight a data center to the death, but we'll wait in a forty-car line for a waffle fry. It's a strange set of priorities, but it's ours. As we wrap things up, just a reminder to stay hydrated and keep an eye on your neighbors. This heat is no joke, and with a missing woman still out there, we need to be a community that actually pays attention to one another.

JOLEEN: Well said, Mark. Even if we're cynical assholes most of the time, we still care about this place. Make sure you check out 'West Side Story' or go scream your lungs out with Papa Roach this week. It's better than sitting at home stewing in your own sweat. We'll be back next week with more news, more sarcasm, and hopefully a forecast that doesn't involve us bursting into flames the moment we step outside. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and comment. Tell us your favorite place to hide from the sun.

MARK: And if you have any stories or tips, email us at pocatello@thehappeningnetwork.com. We actually read those, surprisingly enough. We'll see you next Monday. Stay cool, Pocatello, or at least try not to catch fire.