The DINKWAP Show
Rem: It's true, even heterosexual couples
Rem: are being told that they're not
Rem: complete or not a family
Rem: just because they don't have children.
Alvia: It's a good thing we got married
Alvia: so the questions are less now.
The DINKWAP Show
Rem: We want to clarify this, even this early.
Rem: Being a DINK is not an attack
Rem: on other couples' decision to have
Rem: children.
Rem: That's not it.
Rem: That's not what we're trying to point
Rem: out here.
Alvia: And we're not saying that that decision
Alvia: is better than others.
The DINKWAP Show
Dual Income
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Rem: Hi guys and welcome to another episode
Rem: of The DINKWAP Show.
Rem: I'm Rem.
Alvia: I'm Alvia.
Rem: And the last episode, we talked about
Rem: adoption.
Rem: But before I go there,
Rem: we almost forgot a few more types of DINKs.
Rem: Because what we talked about in the past
Rem: few episodes is
Rem: DINKs who chose not to have
Rem: children.
Rem: So I think there's a couple more types
Rem: of DINKs
Rem: that we can talk about in this episode.
Rem: So the first one is
Rem: what about couples
Rem: who really want to have children but can't
Rem: have children?
Alvia: Yeah, that's it.
Alvia: So the most common, I would say, would
Alvia: be
Alvia: a married couple like us.
Alvia: Man, woman.
Alvia: And they try for a few years, sometimes
Alvia: more.
Alvia: I think now there are options.
Alvia: Science has helped, but it's expensive.
Alvia: And they're not 100% sure that they'll
Alvia: have children.
Alvia: So some have a few tries about it.
Alvia: And sometimes, they just don't succeed.
Alvia: We feel bad for those couples
Alvia: honestly.
Alvia: Especially since it's the common in the
Alvia: Philippines
Alvia: If you've been married for a long time,
Alvia: you're always asked, "When are you going
Alvia: to have children?"
Alvia: They're even going to comment
Alvia: on your couple photo,
Alvia: "only a child is missing"
Alvia: For us, it's a bit annoying
Alvia: because we choose not to.
Alvia: But if you've been trying and wanting a
Alvia: child
Alvia: and it doesn't happen for whatever
Alvia: reason,
Alvia: it's really painful.
Rem: We know people like that.
Rem: We know couples who've been through that.
Rem: Guys, it's heartbreaking.
Rem: They really want to have children.
Rem: But they don't get to.
Alvia: They're not given children.
Rem: Then they receive comments
Rem: on Facebook, with their family.
Rem: In person.
Rem: It's really insensitive.
Alvia: So don't be that toxic uncle or auntie.
Rem: Don't be like that.
Rem: Just...
Rem: I don't know.
Rem: Just let them be.
Rem: I don't know. Maybe it's their way of...
Rem: small talk?
Alvia: Find a different topic.
Rem: It's the same thing every time.
Rem: Every reunion.
Rem: It's reunion season in the past
Rem: holidays.
Rem: There's a lot of people who probably got hurt.
Rem: A lot of people fighting over family's estates.
Alvia: What was that again?
Alvia: Dividing property.
Rem: Yeah.
Rem: To those who watched Wicked.
Alvia: That's the Filipino version.
Rem: Filipino version of...
Rem: Defying Gravity.
Alvia: We're really smart. We can do this.
Rem: So...
Rem: The delivery was bad, but okay.
Alvia: I'm sorry.
Alvia: We butchered it.
Rem: We can't do stand-up.
Rem: But...
Rem: There's another one.
Alvia: Even less common.
Rem: Less common is...
Rem: the same-sex couples.
Rem: Of course...
Rem: Especially if...
Rem: they're both men.
Rem: Of course...
Rem: how can they have kids?
Rem: At least a woman can still conceive.
Alvia: The child can still be biological.
Rem: But...
Alvia: Men can also have surrogacy.
Rem: There's that option?
Alvia: Not here.
Alvia: The problem in the Philippines is...
Alvia: First, gay marriage is not legal yet.
Alvia: And I know that surrogacy is not legal
Alvia: yet.
Alvia: Something like that.
Alvia: Even if they want to adapt as a couple,
Alvia: I don't think it's possible because they
Alvia: don't recognize you.
Rem: Oh, I see.
Alvia: I don't know. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Rem: I hope it's possible.
Alvia: Maybe just for one. But if you're two, I don't
Alvia: think it's possible.
Rem: What do you mean just one?
Alvia: I mean, you can't be both the father.
Alvia: It can't be put in the birth certificate.
Alvia: Maybe. Again, I'm not a lawyer. I'm not
Alvia: from DPWH.
Rem: DPWH.
Alvia: But I know that. I mean, that makes
Alvia: sense because you can't...
Alvia: There's no space there. It's just Mother
Alvia: and Father in the birth certificate.
Rem: Just because the form can't be changed.
Alvia: I don't know. Again, I don't know. So I
Alvia: just feel like that.
Rem: I really feel like that's the reason.
Rem: They don't want to reprint.
Alvia: But I feel like that.
Rem: What should we do with this form?
Alvia: If marriage between two is not allowed,
Alvia: why would they allow it to be parents?
Rem: It's sad, right?
Alvia: Unless it's allowed. I don't know.
Alvia: Enlighten me.
Rem: If we have friends who watch this, they
Rem: know more about it.
Rem: There's a chance.
Alvia: I hope so.
Rem: But that's what I want to point out.
Rem: For example, we don't want to impose,
Rem: of course.
Rem: But if you're trying and it seems to be
Rem: impossible,
Rem: you could look into adoption.
Rem: We talked about that last episode.
Rem: Now, you said that same-sex couples who
Rem: are not legal here, it's a bit difficult.
Rem: I hope that even if it's not marriage,
Rem: they'll allow it.
Alvia: I know. For example, if you're a guy,
Alvia: you won't be recognized as family.
Alvia: Even if you've been together for a long
Alvia: time.
Alvia: That's what I know.
Rem: So sad.
Alvia: If we weren't married, we can be common
Alvia: law.
Alvia: You'll be a common law
Alvia: spouses.
Alvia: It's just sad.
Alvia: I hope that eventually.
Rem: Even if, like heterosexual couples, they're
Rem: still being told that they're not complete
Rem: or family,
Rem: when they don't have a child.
Alvia: It's good that we're married.
Alvia: So there are less questions now.
Rem: We got married because...
Rem: By law, there are things that...
Alvia: Oh, okay.
Alvia: Easier.
Rem: It's easier.
Rem: For example, if something happens to me,
Rem: they can easily transfer the properties to
Rem: you.
Alvia: And if you're in an emergency room, you
Alvia: won't be allowed in unless you're
Alvia: family.
Rem: Those practical things.
Alvia: It's weird.
Rem: It's so weird.
Rem: It hurts. You won't be allowed in
Rem: just because you're not married.
Rem: That's hard.
Alvia: So this episode turned sad.
Rem: The last episode was fun. Sorry, guys.
Alvia: So anyway, what else do we have?
Rem: Maybe, having said all these in the past
Rem: few episodes,
Rem: this will be the primer of DINKWAP Show.
Rem: That will be the theme of the whole
Rem: podcast.
Rem: And aside from this, of course, there
Rem: will be times that we will have life
Rem: updates.
Alvia: Friends.
Rem: Friends. Yes.
Rem: We will actually invite our friends over.
Rem: The ones who decided to be DINKs.
Alvia: Or just some friends.
Rem: Yes. And also just our friends.
Rem: We just have a common theme.
Rem: And of course, sometimes, there are
Rem: things that are not related to being a DINK.
Alvia: Just anything.
Rem: More about us. More about other people.
Rem: Maybe about business. The businessmen we
Rem: know.
Rem: How they started. We will interview them.
Rem: Because they have a lot of stories to
Rem: tell.
Rem: And these stories are very, very
Rem: valuable.
Rem: We learn from them.
Rem: And we really believe that those stories,
Rem: they should get recorded.
Rem: In one way or another.
Rem: Even if it's just here in our shenanigans.
Alvia: And we can share to our 10 listeners.
Rem: It would be a waste. Because when we talk to
Rem: them, it's nice to talk to them.
Rem: So that will be the content of our
Rem: podcast.
Rem: And really watch out for, especially for
Rem: DINK-curious.
Rem: There's a term for it.
Alvia: I just laughed at the term. I know. I
Alvia: just laughed.
Rem: You're judging me again.
Rem: That's how we are as a married couple.
Rem: We judge each other.
Alvia: Instead of pulling each other up
Rem: That's us. We're the couple that's
Rem: pulling each other down.
Rem: We're the epitome of the Philippine
Rem: society.
Alvia: Microcosm.
Alvia: Wow! Microcosm!
Alvia: Comeback!
Rem: When there's no more bearing.
Alvia: I want to share that.
Rem: But that's where I was surprised.
Rem: We realized that when we're building the
Rem: notion that we're DINKs, that's what it's
Rem: called.
Rem: Then we realized that we're not alone in
Rem: our circle.
Rem: And we want to clarify this.
Rem: Being a DINK is not an attack on other
Rem: couples' decision to have children.
Rem: That's not what we're trying to say here.
Alvia: And we're not saying that that decision
Alvia: is better than others.
Alvia: This lifestyle is not for everyone.
Rem: Yes.
Alvia: Maybe someday we change our minds.
Rem: Everything is still possible.
Rem: Maybe we'll regret everything we say here.
Alvia: We can delete this from the internet.
Rem: But we just want the stigmas around
Rem: being DINKs, adoption, and things like
Rem: that to go away.
Rem: We need to normalize that you have that
Rem: choice to actually have children or to
Rem: not have children.
Rem: That's on you as the couple.
Rem: Those who aren't involved in your relationship
Rem: shouldn't influence you.
Rem: You're having children because your
Rem: friends pressured you.
Alvia: Does that happen?
Alvia: I was about to say
Alvia: your aunt or your parents.
Rem: Or your aunts who only come home every
Rem: Christmas and pressure you.
Alvia: You're not even close.
Rem: They don't even give you presents.
Alvia: They give you chocolate and questions.
Rem: It should be normal.
Alvia: I read something online.
Alvia: It reached a point where she doesn't
Alvia: show up at social gatherings anymore.
Alvia: Because she's always being interrogated.
Alvia: They're finding it hard to have a baby.
Rem: Others choose to be snarky.
Rem: "Are you the one who'll pay for the child's education?"
Rem: "If you're going to pay for its education, I'll
Rem: have a baby."
Rem: Life is hard.
Alvia: Your brother told your mom, "We don't
Alvia: have a house yet."
Alvia: And then she tried to find them a house.
Rem: She really wants to have a grandchild.
Alvia: She found a way.
Rem: Actually, that nephew of mine is their
Rem: first grandchild.
Rem: They won't get any from us. Sorry,
Rem: guys.
Alvia: I used the reverse uno card with her.
Alvia: I told her, "your son is really hard to take care of."
Alvia: Reverse uno card.
Rem: Because I'm forever a baby.
Alvia: He's the only one.
Alvia: More than enough.
Alvia: Ehhhhhh.
Alvia: Annoying.
Rem: Anyway.
Alvia: What a senseless ending.
Rem: Let's end this.
Rem: Thank you for watching another episode
Rem: of the DINKWAP Show.
Alvia: Let's do this.
Rem: See you on the next episode.
Alvia: This is for the thumbnail.
Rem: Is it this one?
Alvia: Thank you!
Rem: I hope we have a guest on the next
Rem: episode.
Rem: Alright, bye!
You were listening to the DINKWAP Show.