WEBVTT 00:00:02.640 --> 00:00:16.645 This is the Sandals Church Podcast, a place for real people with real struggles learning to follow Jesus. Wherever you are right now, driving, working, or trying to make it through the day, we are really glad you're here. Let's get into today's message. 00:00:20.085 --> 00:00:29.365 Hi, welcome to Sandals Church. My name is pastor Matt. Matt, and we are almost done with this series that we've been in for almost two years in the book of Matthew. Can I get an amen? It's incredible. 00:00:32.100 --> 00:00:48.235 We started this journey with this idea that we would become the disciples that Jesus is calling us to be. And hopefully during this process, you've become more like Jesus than you were when we started. If you got worse, it's not my fault. Can I get an amen? That's on you. 00:00:48.235 --> 00:01:17.245 But today we're gonna talk about one of the most challenging aspects of being a Christian, and that's our relationships. Many of us know a lot of people that know a lot about the Bible, but are not good at all in incorporating what they believe about God in their relationships with people. Can I get an amen? And so many people that run away from church, it's not because they don't believe what God's word said, but they leave the church because of what God's people did. And that is huge for us. 00:01:17.245 --> 00:01:50.425 And so I just want you to know if you're starting out your spiritual journey, you're new to Sandals, you're new to Christianity, and so many people that come to Sandals are new to the faith. I want you to know that your Christian faith isn't just about your relationship with God. It's also about your relationship with others. And that's why we say at Sandals Church, that Sandals exists for us to be real with God, to be real with each other and to be real with ourselves. So let's open our Bibles to one of the most challenging dinners that Jesus will ever face. 00:01:50.425 --> 00:02:12.880 Now that's saying something because he had some pretty challenging dinners where people would rebuke him, people would pour oil over his face, he would get uninvited. This is one of the most challenging dinners Jesus ever had. And what's interesting is it's with the people that he loved the most. Amen, Thanksgiving, you're like, thank God it only happens once a year. So let's open our Bibles to Matthew 2six seventeen-thirty five. 00:02:13.495 --> 00:02:28.535 To build healthy relationships, I must trust God's vision, look at this, for my relationships. God has a vision, and do you know why it's his vision? Because you can't see it yet. So here's why we lose our minds. We got a bunch of moms here, any moms here, Mother's Day? 00:02:28.650 --> 00:02:39.450 Here's why you lose your mind over your child. You can't see the finished product. Can I get an amen? But God has a vision for that kid. God has a vision for your marriage. 00:02:39.530 --> 00:02:57.825 God has a vision for your friendships. God has a vision for you in your singleness. And what we have to do is we have to trust God's sight when we cannot see. So Matthew 26, we're wrapping up. There's just two chapters left in the story that Matthew is telling us about Jesus. 00:02:57.825 --> 00:03:15.955 So it's almost over. So let's look at verse 17. On the first day of the festival of the unleavened bread, just think of this as like Christmas vacation when you were a kid. It's not Christmas day yet, but vacation has started. And so for the Jewish people, Passover is their Christmas celebration. 00:03:15.955 --> 00:03:42.060 It is their highest holiday where everybody gathers together, not to be with family, but to be with God at the temple. On the first day of the festival of the unleavened bread, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, this is hilarious, where do you want us to prepare the Passover meal for you? Now let's pause here. What they're saying is, Jesus, do you have a plan? And here's why, the city is packed. 00:03:42.495 --> 00:03:59.570 People have traveled from all over the world to be in town and this city balloons from a few thousand people to over a 100,000 people for the celebration of Passover. So what does that mean? How many rooms does Motel six have left? Zero. Zero. 00:03:59.570 --> 00:04:06.850 And if you've never been to motel six, don't go. Don't go. I went once and we we survived. Amen? So there's no room. 00:04:06.930 --> 00:04:19.705 This is like showing up to Disneyland, you know, the day after Christmas and hoping to buy a ticket. You know what that means? You're not going to Disneyland. So what they're saying is, Jesus, do you have a plan? Like where are we gonna eat this meal? 00:04:19.785 --> 00:04:31.950 The reason we're all gathered here together is to eat this meal. Look at verse 18. And I want you to notice, he has a plan. He hasn't shared it, but he has a plan. So if you're freaking out, just know he has a plan. 00:04:31.950 --> 00:04:43.035 He may not have shared it yet, but he has a plan. As you go into the city, he told him, you will see a certain man. Now, I just get an amen? That's not helpful. Like that's that's not news. 00:04:43.195 --> 00:04:52.875 He could have said he'll be wearing khakis. He'll have a shirt on that his wife bought him at Costco. Amen, ladies. Like he'll have a hat, make America healthy again. Gotcha. 00:04:53.035 --> 00:05:03.090 Gotcha. Right? Little less controversial. That's not super helpful, okay? Just because God is vague in his direction doesn't mean he doesn't value you. 00:05:03.970 --> 00:05:17.345 So Mark and Luke record, it's actually a dude carrying a jar. And you're like, okay, that's not helpful. Except two thousand years ago, ladies, do you know who carry jars in the city? Women, not the dudes, okay? Not that they were too important for that. 00:05:17.345 --> 00:05:33.930 That's woman work, right? So Jesus says, you're gonna see a guy, he's gonna be different because he's going to be carrying a jar and in the midst of all the crowds, he's gonna stand out. This is an unusual guy. Now, what can we maybe derive from this? This guy's a servant. 00:05:34.295 --> 00:05:47.495 He cares about getting things done. He doesn't care about women work, men work. He cares about getting the work done right. Tell him, the teacher says, my time has come. Now that's a little scary, right? 00:05:47.890 --> 00:06:11.465 Just find some random dude, he's got a jar and just tell him the teacher says his time has come. And he says this, look at this, and we will eat the, and I will eat the Passover meal with my disciples at your house. That's a little scary, but God has a visions. He has a vision for this. So the disciples did, this is so important, you wanna change your life, just do this. 00:06:11.465 --> 00:06:21.420 The disciples did as Jesus told him. You wanna make your life better, just do what he says. You wanna make it worse, do what you think, amen? That's why you're in the condition you are. Nobody's messed up because they follow Jesus. 00:06:21.580 --> 00:06:27.820 You're messed up because you're like, you know what? I'm gonna go with my gut on this one. That's why you're in prison. Here we go. Okay. 00:06:29.635 --> 00:06:47.650 So the disciples did as Jesus told them and prepared the Passover meal there. Can I just speak prophetically over you today? The Lord has it there for you. And let that just sit in. Moms, you're going nuts, you haven't slept, you got a two year old that's a terrorist, can I get an amen? 00:06:47.650 --> 00:07:00.785 The Lord has it there for you, there's a there. You're a single parent, you don't know what you're gonna do, you don't know what God's plan is, there's a there. There's a there. You might not know it, but God knows it. And you gotta trust God for you're there. 00:07:01.905 --> 00:07:25.270 And you just gotta say, hey man, in the midst of all this chaos, especially in Southern California, you know, most of the people who attend or watch Sandals Church online are from Southern California. It's crazy here. In the midst of all this chaos, there's a there. God has a plan for you. Now this last week, man, I got to go to the funeral of my pastor when I was in college. 00:07:26.005 --> 00:07:36.405 He died at the age of 83, and I wanna dedicate this message to him. His name is pastor Doug Medsker. Lord, give him a hug for me. I love that man. And this was Doug's life verse. 00:07:36.405 --> 00:08:04.865 Doug battled cancer, throat cancer, think about it, he's a preacher. He battled throat cancer for the last twenty five years of his life. You don't think Doug had to trust God's plan? Here's the thing, he never lost heart, he continued to preach, he won souls, and you need to know this, your pastor was blessed by his life. Here's was his life verse, Proverbs three:five-six, Trust in the Lord with a little bit of your heart. 00:08:05.585 --> 00:08:20.040 Oh, sorry, let me read it in English for you. Okay. Trust in the Lord with how much of your heart? All That's your where all of us go wrong, we give the Lord a little bit of our heart. You know, some of you guys you're not good with tithing with your money, but you tithe with your heart, amen. 00:08:20.040 --> 00:08:39.920 Lord, I'll give you 10%. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not depend on your own understanding. You know why life's confusing? Look at this, seek his will in all you do and he will show you which path to take. That was Doug's life first. 00:08:40.000 --> 00:09:10.690 He followed it to the very end. One of my favorite moments at his funeral was when his son who had his own journey away from God and back to God said, I'd like you to stand up if you're a born again Christian because of the ministry of my father, and people stood up. And then he said, I want you to know, I want you to stand up if your life's been changed by the life of my father, and then I stood up. And it was amazing to know that his legacy of following that verse is still affecting us today. It's still affecting you today. 00:09:11.730 --> 00:09:33.980 He followed God's path even when he didn't know what the vision was, even when he didn't know where it was gonna go. So here's the thing, listen to me, when you're freaking out, that's when you need your faith. First Corinthians seven seventeen, each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you. You know what the problem is? We don't like where he's placed us. 00:09:34.380 --> 00:09:52.505 My favorite person to pray within the lobby at Sandals Church is the one I prayed that they would get a job, and then they wanna pray why God gave them that job. I'm like, wait a minute, what? I mean, we are so dissatisfied constantly with where the Lord has us. Let me say this to you today. The Lord has you where you are for a reason. 00:09:52.665 --> 00:10:10.450 So let's quit worrying about where you're not and let's deal with where you are. So I wanna challenge you today, trust God in three areas. Look at this one, trust God in your singleness. Okay, if you're single, quit worried about marriage. Do you know what's challenging? 00:10:10.450 --> 00:10:19.205 Singleness, that's challenging. You need to trust God in that. Look, if you're single, that's where God has you. God has it there, there for you. Where is it? 00:10:19.205 --> 00:10:29.070 I don't know. Here's what I know. In your singleness, lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, right? That's what the proverb is. 00:10:29.070 --> 00:10:43.225 The proverb is not I'll follow God when he reveals the plan, but I'll follow God so that I can discover the plan. And so many of us get it backwards. Okay? Man, you think being single is tough. Let's talk about this group right here. 00:10:43.225 --> 00:11:04.380 Marriage, boy, that's fun. You know? I mean, there are days married people where you remember your vows until death do us part, you're like, Thank God, right? Like you have those days, you have those moments, man, it's challenging. But here's the thing, wherever you are in your marriage, quit worrying about where you wanna be and let's deal with where you are. 00:11:05.740 --> 00:11:20.665 Let's deal with where you are. Next, let's look at this, family. Anybody got some fun family members? Don't point at them, just be like, yes, pastor. Like everybody's got a crazy family member, and you know what I always say, if you don't, you know who it is? 00:11:21.030 --> 00:11:39.225 It's you. We all have challenges in our families. Relationships are hard. That's why as a culture, we're following in love with screens as we abandon real relationships. Okay, how about this next one? 00:11:39.545 --> 00:11:57.800 Friendships. The number one reason people leave Sandals Church is not theology, it's relationships. They get into a conflict. Maybe you're single, you're dating, you break up, right? All the girls circle you like piranhas, because you're a man and you messed up or whatever. 00:11:57.800 --> 00:12:19.405 I've seen it both ways. I've seen men mess up, women mess up, but friendships blow up and people leave their churches. What we wanna build at Sandals Church is healthy relationships, and we gotta trust that God has a plan. So next, to build healthy relationships, I must have the hard conversations with the people I love. Do you know why it's so easy to yell at somebody on the 91 Freeway? 00:12:20.020 --> 00:12:34.340 Because you don't know them. It's easy to go off on them and tell them, you're number one, different finger. Amen? It is absolutely the easiest thing in the world to go off on a total stranger. Do you wanna know why there's no risk? 00:12:34.795 --> 00:12:43.995 There's no relational risk. I mean, could get murdered. It is Southern California, amen. But if you never see that person again, you'd probably be what? Happy. 00:12:44.315 --> 00:13:02.865 But when it's your mom, it's your dad, it's your boyfriend, it's your husband, it's your wife, it's your kids, it's your brother, it's your sister. Here's what I've learned. The more you care about someone, the harder it is to be honest with them. It's the exact opposite. It's the exact opposite. 00:13:03.505 --> 00:13:24.670 And if you're dating, here's what you're talking about or not talking about, the things that are important because it's hard because there's a risk there. And so what we have to learn is we have to learn to have the hard conversations. Here's what I want you to see. This is Jesus's last meal on earth and it's the most difficult meal of his life. It's challenging. 00:13:25.845 --> 00:13:41.830 And you know what, he could have said this, you know what, I'm gonna die tomorrow. Let's just let it roll. What's the point? The point is not that he wanted to scold them, the point was he loved them. And he was willing to say the hard things. 00:13:42.710 --> 00:14:01.125 When you really love somebody, you've got to be willing to have that difficult conversation. So let's look at Matthew 2six 20. When it was evening, Jesus sat down at the table with the 12. Okay, these are the most famous Christians of the day. They're the 12 handpicked followers of Jesus. 00:14:01.925 --> 00:14:27.245 While they were eating, he said, I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me. I mean, can you imagine you're at Thanksgiving dinner, your grandpa stands up, you know, hits the wine glass with a spoon And he's like, one of you is a sellout. You're like, ah. Look at verse 22, this is a distressing conversation. They think it's gonna be a great meal. 00:14:27.245 --> 00:14:38.990 It's gonna be a great time. Look at verse 22, greatly distressed. Why don't we have these conversations? Because they're not easy. It's easier to sweep it under the rug than it is to actually deal with it. 00:14:39.310 --> 00:14:55.305 Greatly distressed, each one of them asked in turn, am I the one Lord? Now here's what we all know. We all know that Judas is the one who sold him out. You know what this verse tells us? They might've all been considering it. 00:14:56.585 --> 00:15:10.730 They were all legitimately concerned. Am I the one that's gonna betray you? Am I the one that's gonna do this? And then verse 23, look at this. He replied, one of you who has just eaten from this bowl with me will betray me. 00:15:10.730 --> 00:15:41.920 So the other gospels actually, he takes Judas' hands and he puts it in there, and he says, it's the one who's eating with me in this bowl. Now, no one else saw that because they were all worried it was them. Verse 23, he says that, and then look at verse 24, for the son of man must die as the scriptures declared long ago, but how terrible it will be for the one who betrays him. It would be far better, Jesus says, for that man, if he'd never been born. Look at verse 25. 00:15:44.645 --> 00:15:55.620 Let's go to verse 25. There we go. Judas, the one who would betray him asked, Rabbi, am I the one? I want you to underline these words and never forget this. Am I the one? 00:15:55.620 --> 00:16:06.740 And Jesus told him, you've said it. Now here's what I want you to see he didn't do. Yep, that's right. You're the loser. I never liked you, but God said I had to pick you, and I should have listened to my mother, and I knew that you were a loser. 00:16:08.875 --> 00:16:25.890 What does Jesus say? To the one who would betray him, to the one who he trusted, by the way, the one he entrusted with the money, sold him out, we were learned last week for 30 pieces of silver. What does he say? It's it's as you say. He never shames him. 00:16:26.450 --> 00:16:33.970 He never puts him down. He's not ruthless. He's not mean. Here's the thing you need to see here. Jesus still loves Judas. 00:16:36.665 --> 00:16:49.910 He still loves Judas. He's warning Judas. If you do this, it would be better had you never been born. Ain't that crazy? So here's what we can learn from this in Ephesians four fifteen. 00:16:49.910 --> 00:17:04.615 If we have to have a hard conversation, here's what we have to do. Ephesians four fifteen, speak the truth in anger. Speak the truth very, very loud. Use large hand gestures, get emotional, start screaming. That's how you do it. 00:17:04.615 --> 00:17:09.335 Amen. Right? Speak the truth. How? In love. 00:17:09.335 --> 00:17:42.445 Growing in every way more and more like Christ. The hardest thing you'll ever have to do is have a hard conversation with someone that you love, and I've gotten this wrong so many times. Flowing off the handle, lost my temper, embarrassed myself, made a bigger issue than the issue we actually needed to talk about. But what we need to learn to do is say, look, I love you, and that's the thing that matters most. What matters most, listen to me, write this down, it's not resolving the conflict. 00:17:43.650 --> 00:18:07.685 What matters most is that the person you're in conflict with understands that what matters most is them. See, this is where we get it wrong. We think that what matters most is resolving the conflict. What matters most is your friend, your spouse, your child, your husband, your wife, knowing they are safe in your love. Because without safety, there will never be resolution. 00:18:09.045 --> 00:18:27.800 Now, I've gotten this wrong many, many times. The one time I got it right, I had to have a conversation with one of my kids. And here's how it began. I said, I love you, and nothing will ever change that. I said, this is gonna be one of the hardest conversations we've ever had. 00:18:28.775 --> 00:18:48.310 And at the end of it, I want you to tell me how I did. How'd you like to been that kid? My gosh, they were like, because here's the thing, do we usually handle stuff well? No. But I wanted my child to know what matters to me more than this issue is you. 00:18:49.270 --> 00:19:04.215 And at the end of the day, I love you and care about you. I wanna challenge you, but I don't wanna drive you away. I wanna drive you to Jesus. Now, that's 50 year old Matt, okay? 35 year old Matt could not have done that. 00:19:04.215 --> 00:19:20.420 25 year old Matt absolutely did not do that. 20 year old Matt didn't even know that was a choice. So don't beat yourself up if you're not there yet. I've learned to trust Christ through failure. And I've reevaluated and I made changes. 00:19:20.420 --> 00:19:45.960 Okay? Proverbs 20 seven:six says this, wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. Look, you might be surrounded by people who like you. What you need is one or two friends that really love you, and they're willing to be honest with you. Jesus has this last meal together, and he says, Guys, I love you. 00:19:46.120 --> 00:20:01.725 The other gospels, he tells them how long I've looked forward to having and sharing this meal with you. He loves them, he cares about them. It breaks his heart what Judas is about to do, but he still wants to have the meal because they all matter to him. He's invested in them. He's poured into them. 00:20:01.725 --> 00:20:21.680 He's cared for them. He's ministered to them. And here's the thing I want you to know about Judas. Judas left that dinner to betray Jesus, knowing that he was loved and he did it anyways. So let me, I want you to evaluate yourself, your own communication style. 00:20:21.935 --> 00:20:35.615 Okay? You all have a communication style. Some of you, your communication style is never to talk. You're like, this is it right here, pastor. Some of us are and by some of us, I mean me, are loud mouthed and we speak before we think. 00:20:35.615 --> 00:20:43.720 Can I get an amen? Yeah. Yeah. People always ask me, I was at a wedding, they're like, why don't you drink? And I was like, this mouth doesn't need alcohol. 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:55.865 It's already inebriated. Yeah. So party in a box right here. We don't need we don't need anything else. So we all have a communication style. 00:20:56.665 --> 00:21:13.560 Some of us are very clear, but we're cruel. Some of us are very kind, but we're confusing. Hey, like we're somewhere in between those two. So some of us were raised with clear but cruel parents. You're no good. 00:21:13.560 --> 00:21:27.455 You're terrible. I never should have had you. We should have given you up for adoption. You know, that's clear, but cruel. But then some of us have relationships where everybody's so kind and so nice, we don't even know what the problem was. 00:21:27.455 --> 00:22:01.425 We don't even know what we discussed. You know, sweetheart, sometimes there are moments in our lives in the past, not right here, but occasionally where you do things that frustrate me, and I would like the opportunity to talk to you about that if it ever happened. That was nice, but I'm confused. Here's what the Bible says, Colossians four:six, let your conversation be gracious and attractive. So here's our goal as Christians. 00:22:01.825 --> 00:22:16.640 Our goal as Christians is we want to be clear and kind like Jesus. Do you get that? We wanna be clear, one of you is gonna betray me. Who is it Lord? The one that I am dipping my hand in the bowl with. 00:22:17.215 --> 00:22:34.800 Judah says, is it me? Yes, it is as you said. He didn't mock him, he didn't put him down, he didn't tell him how terrible he was. He says, look, this is what you're gonna do, go do it. Still love you, still care about you, and you shouldn't do this, And if you do this, there's no coming back. 00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:55.585 He was clear and kind. Okay, to build healthy relationships, I must, this is hard, not let relational stress keep me from my time with God. Do you know the thing I noticed? People in our church that are going through marriage conflicts, skip church. People that have a runaway child or a kid falling away from God, they fall away from church. 00:22:55.585 --> 00:23:19.205 People that are having conflicts at work, conflicts with the family member, conflicts with the friend, the first thing they cut off when they have stress with others is their relationship with God. What I want you to see here is Jesus will not allow his stress with Judas to keep him from the Passover meal with God. He will not do it. Amen. He will not do it. 00:23:20.485 --> 00:23:45.055 I'm not gonna let some idiot keep me from Jesus. That's what people do all the time. Well, somebody at church hurt me really Religious people crucified Jesus, he got over it, amen? He got over it, he forgave, he invited us in. So many people run from church and run from God because of a person, never let a human being keep you from your father who's in heaven. 00:23:45.055 --> 00:24:02.110 Can I get an amen? Never do it. Look at verse 26. As they were eating, Jesus took some bread and he blessed it. And then he broke it into pieces and he gave it to the disciples saying, take this and eat it for this is my body. 00:24:02.670 --> 00:24:37.375 And he took a cup of wine and he gave thanks to God for it, and he gave it to them and he said, each of you drink from it, for this is my blood which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many. Now let's stop there just for a second. Every single week, when you come to church at Sandals Church, we do the Lord's Supper. It's not just a little plastic cup full of grape juice and a cracker. 00:24:37.855 --> 00:25:06.030 It's reminding us that every single week we receive grace from God not because of who we are, but because of who he is. It's so important that we understand that stability is the anchor of our faith. Jesus says, listen to me, no matter what you've done, no matter who you are, no one and nothing can ever take you out of my hands. See, here's why relationships are so scary. We're always afraid that if people really knew us, they would release us. 00:25:07.045 --> 00:25:28.080 Jesus already knows you, and he still loves you. And he says, no one is taking you out of my hands. Some of you've never thought about this, but most weeks is what we do. We have the Lord's Supper, which is receiving, and then we have offering, which is giving. Every healthy relationship has two things, receiving and giving. 00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:58.240 If you're in a dysfunctional relationship, if someone only receives and they never give. You're a dysfunctional person if you only ever want to receive and never give. Think about our weekend services. We receive grace standing, forgiveness, truth, power from Jesus, and then we offer a sacrifice, our service, our tithes, our offerings, our commitments back. Every single weekend, it's exchanging in a healthy relationship. 00:25:59.885 --> 00:26:24.960 Verse 29, mark my words, I will not drink wine again until the day I drink it new with you in my father's kingdom. What he's saying is there's a better feast that's coming. There's a better day that's coming. How many guys raise your hands have ever been to a wedding? Okay, most scholars call this the wedding feast where the bride, that's the church is united with the groom, that's Jesus. 00:26:25.535 --> 00:26:36.975 Let me tell you, it is gonna be a wedding. And imagine your dad is God, imagine that budget. Let's just all think about that wedding for a second. Okay? It's gonna be amazing. 00:26:38.260 --> 00:27:02.565 To build healthy relationships, I must, this is important, use worship to help reduce my worry. Look, this is why you need worship. And I know some of you, man, it's hard to get to church, it's hard to get here on time, You've miscalculated, and I know it's difficult because we move our campuses every single week, and so it's farther than it was. No, you know exactly how far it is. You need to get here on time and you need your worship because worship helps reduce our worry. 00:27:03.180 --> 00:27:18.235 Worship takes attention off us and puts it on God. And it's so important. It's so important that we give God our hallelujah. Now here's what's amazing. A couple of weeks ago at Coachella, Justin Bieber has gone viral. 00:27:18.235 --> 00:27:29.450 People are making fun of him for his song. Do know what the name of the song is? Everything Hallelujah. There's actually a line in it. I brush my teeth, Hallelujah, which is a little weird, but it's Justin Bieber. 00:27:29.450 --> 00:27:53.515 Can I get an amen? But I wanna read to you some of the lines in this song. He says this, remember times I was stranded all alone, feeling left out to dry, and now we circle back with tears in our eyes. He's talking about relational conflict. Listen to this, singing, Hallelujah, Hallelujah. 00:27:53.915 --> 00:28:32.580 Baby, somehow I could reach across your mind, I would pull out all the hurt to try to write this song, but my words just wouldn't do, so I said, Hallelujah, hallelujah. Look, you can think whatever you want about Justin Bieber, but he gets something that many of you miss, praising God heals our deepest wounds. And they're mocking him, and people are making fun of him, and right, going crazy, but here's the thing, he's onto something that many of us missed. I want you to look at this, Matthew 2six 30, then they sing a hymn and went out to the Mount Of Olives. Just pause there. 00:28:33.300 --> 00:28:50.205 What hymn? Some of you guys don't know, but it's actually Psalms 113 through 118. Listen to what it's called, the Halal. Jesus just met with his 12 buddies. One of you is gonna betray me. 00:28:50.205 --> 00:28:59.940 I'm about ready to go to the cross. This is the most difficult conversation he's ever had to have. He's going to face the cross. And what does he do? What does he stop to make time for? 00:28:59.940 --> 00:29:17.575 Praise. Halal. Halal is a Hebrew word that just means praise. So then it's a compound word with another word at the end, Yeah, which is just the short term word for Yahweh, which is God's name. So hallelujah means praise the Lord. 00:29:17.575 --> 00:29:30.920 Praise the Lord. So we can make fun of Justin Bieber saying, praise the Lord. I brush my teeth. Praise the Lord. Here's the thing, you wanna change your life, take the attention and focus off you and off your hurt and put your praise on him who heals you. 00:29:30.920 --> 00:29:42.525 Can I get an amen? Hallelujah. Right? Hallelujah. And it's sad that Coachella got that and Christians missed it in the church. 00:29:44.285 --> 00:29:53.620 Philippians four:six through seven. I need to get this tattooed on my forehead, this verse right here. Don't worry about anything. How are we doing? I'm already I'm already sinning. 00:29:54.100 --> 00:30:11.455 Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. It's not done. Look at this verse seven. Then you will experience God's peace. 00:30:11.455 --> 00:30:18.520 Hallelujah. Which exceeds anything we can understand. Hallelujah. Right? His peace will guard your hearts. 00:30:18.520 --> 00:30:21.960 Hallelujah. And mind. Hallelujah. As you live in Christ Jesus. Hallelujah. 00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:31.045 Can I get a Justin Bieber? Amen. Right? And then in church, we gotta get you guys. Come on, give me a hello. 00:30:31.045 --> 00:30:36.645 You're like, hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. It's so hard for us to get a hallelujah. 00:30:36.645 --> 00:30:54.395 You know why? Because your attention and focus is on you and not on him. If Jesus sang a hymn before he went to the cross, why don't you when you're feeling crucified? To build healthy relationships, I must, you ready to hate me? Here we go. 00:30:54.795 --> 00:31:19.810 Give grace to people who mess up and hurt me. So Jesus has his last meal with his buddies. He spent almost every waking day with him for three years, handpicked them, saw them, cared for them, loved them, taught them. Can you imagine going on a camping trip with Jesus for three years? Like an RV trip, it's just you, him and the RV. 00:31:20.450 --> 00:31:46.530 You got your little YouTube channel, you're never gonna believe what he did today. They spent almost every day with him for three years. He poured into them, loved them, fed them, cared for them, ministered to them. Matthew twenty six thirty one. On the way, Jesus told them tonight, all of you will desert me. 00:31:47.890 --> 00:32:13.920 Most of us in here have been deserted by someone. Sometimes it was our mom, our dad, a sibling, a friend. Many of us have been backstabbed by somebody. Jesus was backstabbed and betrayed by everybody. So if there was ever a person that could have grievance and not forgive, do you know what his name is? 00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:31.275 Jesus. But listen to what he says. He says, hey guys, you're gonna do this. But it's all according to God's plan. Look at this, for the scripture say, God will strike the shepherd and the sheep of the flock will be scattered. 00:32:32.315 --> 00:32:46.170 It's all God's plan. Look at verse 32. This is so beautiful. But after I have been raised from the dead, after you kill me, I got some good news. I will go ahead of you to Galilee to meet you there. 00:32:47.210 --> 00:33:09.810 You're all gonna betray me. You're all gonna let me down, you're all gonna hurt me. Peter speaks up in verse 33. Peter declared, even if everyone else deserts you, I will never desert you. You can count on me, you gotta count on me. 00:33:10.290 --> 00:33:38.150 In the early days of Sandals, we had a church leader one time after worship service, he came up to me, he said, God's called me to be with you and I'm here to the end. He said, I'll take a bullet for you. He left our church a month later over something I said in a sermon, and I didn't even shoot him. Look, we've all had people in our lives over promise and under deliver. Amen? 00:33:38.230 --> 00:33:57.995 We've all had it over promise, under deliver. Look at verse 34. Jesus says this, I tell you the truth, Peter, this very night before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times that you even know me. Peter still doesn't get it. No, Peter insisted. 00:33:57.995 --> 00:34:13.710 No, I would never do that. Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you. And the other disciples all vowed what? The same. It's so easy to be brave when there isn't a fight to be had. 00:34:13.710 --> 00:34:28.805 Amen? How many of you been wounded, been hurt? Amen. Some of you by Christians, Christian parents been cheated on by Christian spouses. We've all gone through this. 00:34:30.230 --> 00:34:48.615 Here's how you build healthy relationships. Colossians three thirteen, make an allowance for each other's faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you. So you should pray about forgiving others. Oh, that's not what it says. 00:34:49.175 --> 00:35:08.260 So you what? You must forgive others. You must. Couple of months ago, or a couple weeks ago, actually, I was sharing about one of my good friends, we've been friends for over thirty years, he was losing his battle with mental health. I thought I was gonna lose him. 00:35:08.820 --> 00:35:35.820 He's unraveling, and I've watched God do a miracle in his life. Now he's doing all the things he's eating right, he's exercising, he's going to a psychologist, he's seeing a shrink, he's meeting with me. Pastor Rocky Stone of our Menifee campus texted me after my sermon a great question. He said, what was the turning point in his healing? I wish I would have thought of it on my own, but I didn't. 00:35:36.620 --> 00:35:55.340 Here's when my friend's life changed. The moment I challenged him to let go of his hurt and forgive. Here's what Jesus says, Peter, guys, you're all gonna betray me. Every single one of you. No, not us. 00:35:55.340 --> 00:36:02.620 Yep, all of you. All of you. Judas is already doing it, he's gone. We'll never do it. You're gonna betray me. 00:36:02.620 --> 00:36:22.955 Listen to what he says. After I rise, let's meet up in Galilee and we're gonna focus on our friendship again, amen? He knows they're gonna do it and he's already forgiven them before they even know how bad a friend and disciple they're gonna be. So here's the thing. Some of you moms, you wanna help your kids? 00:36:23.720 --> 00:36:37.615 You gotta learn to forgive the people that hurt you. Because you can never be the mom you're called to be if you hold on to all that hurt that you have. Dads, you wanna keep your kids safe? You really wanna make them safe? You really wanna change their life? 00:36:37.615 --> 00:36:52.350 Then you have to let Jesus heal all that hurt and anger inside of you. And the longer you hold on to it, the more damage it will do to your kids. Let it go. Let it go. This is what it means to be a Christian. 00:36:52.350 --> 00:37:11.815 We forgive, we forgive. People will let us down. Grace is the foundation of healthy relationships. So I want you to bow your head, close your eyes and I just want you to think right now, What anger, what hurt are you holding on to? What unforgiveness have you refused to give to the Lord? 00:37:11.815 --> 00:37:23.270 What's holding you back from being a healthier person relationally? And here's what I want you to do. I want you to give it to Jesus and say, take this away from me. I can't carry this anymore. I can't hold on to this anymore. 00:37:23.270 --> 00:37:47.735 Lord, this hurt is not just hurting me, but all the people that love me and let it go to him right now. I'm gonna pray right now. Lord Jesus from heaven, would you reach down and take this hurt, take this pain, take this heartache, you pull it out of us? And Lord, would you help us right now? Forgive these people that have hurt us just like you did. 00:37:48.520 --> 00:38:07.635 And then Lord, just like you, let's meet up with our friends in Galilee and let's get about the business of doing the work that you've called us to. Lord, let us build better families, better homes and a better church. Lord, let us be forgivers. We pray this in Jesus name and all God's people said, amen. Love 00:38:11.795 --> 00:38:42.465 you. Now what a word for us today and we just wanna take a moment to say thank you for watching wherever you might be from and our hope and prayer is that you would in the arms of Jesus release hurt as you practice receiving his grace and learning to give it to others. And listen, so much of what we do here at Sandals Church specifically online, would not be possible without the generosity of so many of you. And so I wanna encourage you to pray about supporting the work that is happening here at Sandals. To do that, you can go to sandalschurch.com/support. 00:38:42.465 --> 00:38:43.105 Grace and peace.