People will talk about politics. They'll talk about money. They'll even talk about their drinking. But faith? That's where most people go silent.
In this episode of Beyond the Gray, Kari Schwear sits down with Joshua Jurkovich, entrepreneur, ultra-runner, and founder of Level10 Growth and Kingdom Impact Network, for one of the most honest, unapologetic conversations this podcast has ever had. They go straight at the gray areas of faith that most Christians won't say out loud: church hurt vs. leaving God, why "new thought" and manifestation culture quietly replace God with self, and why the wealthiest, most successful people are often the emptiest on the inside.
Josh shares his own rock-bottom season of disordered priorities, his experience with substances used to numb out, and the moment surrender changed everything. This isn't a religious lecture. It's a grace-and-truth conversation for anyone who believes in God "but," or isn't sure where they fit anymore.
In this episode you'll hear:
• Why "new thought" and new age practices quietly replace God with self, and how to spot it
• The difference between leaving a church and leaving God
• Why Kari's wealthiest, most successful clients are often the most depleted on the inside
• What "disordered desires" means and why it explains the midlife crisis
• Josh's rock-bottom season: breakup, loss, and the verse that reordered everything
• The truth about ayahuasca, yoga, and spiritual "portals" from a Christian perspective
• Why "it's not religion that's become political; it's politics that's become religious"
• Practical first steps for anyone stuck in the gray area of their faith
• Why the new age movement puts all the burden on you, while Jesus said His burden is light
• Josh's closing line: "Your spirit is being formed. It's just a question of by what."
If you've ever believed in God but felt the "but" creeping in, or if you've been hurt by the church and walked away from something bigger than the building, this conversation was made for you.
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CHAPTERS
00:00 Intro: Why Faith Feels Off-Limits
01:58 Meet Josh: "Man of God" Before Anything Else
05:38 We All Worship Something
07:43 Church Hurt vs. Leaving God
16:01 What Is "New Thought"? (Enneagram, Manifestation, Self vs. God)
23:34 Wealthy and Empty: Why Success Doesn't Satisfy
26:19 Josh's Rock-Bottom Season and Disordered Priorities
31:01 Ayahuasca, Yoga, and Spiritual "Portals"
36:50 Where to Start: Surrender and the Holy Spirit
40:36 Kingdom Impact Network: A Home for Seekers
43:09 Closing Thought: What's Forming Your Spirit?
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GUEST: Joshua Jurkovich
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BOOKS MENTIONED
Happy Lies by Melissa Dougherty:
The Steps to Freedom in Christ by Neil T. Anderson:
The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson:
The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek:
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TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT
Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you.
https://www.graytonic.com/gray-area-audit/Book a Call with Kari:
Visit the Website:
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CONNECT WITH KARI
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/
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If this conversation stirred something in your spirit, share it with someone who's been wrestling with faith in silence. Sometimes the most important gray area to address is the one between you and God.
#GrayAreasOfFaith #ChurchHurt #FaithOverFear #NewThoughtMovement #ManifestationVsGod #SpiritualFormation #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #JoshuaJurkovich #KingdomImpact #ChristianEntrepreneur #WealthyAndEmpty #Surrender #MidlifeFaith #DisorderedDesires #GrayTonic #WhatAreYouWorshiping
What is Beyond the Gray?
You’ve built something solid. A business. A reputation. A life that looks the part.
But somewhere along the way, something started feeling off.
Not broken. Not a crisis. Just… not right.
Maybe the drinking has become more of a habit than you'd like to admit.
Maybe the marriage is stable but not exactly alive.
Maybe you're still driven, but the fire feels different.
You're functioning at a high level — and wondering why that still isn't enough.
Beyond the Gray explores the gray areas of life that successful people rarely talk about — including gray area drinking, midlife identity shifts, relationships, faith, health, and purpose.
Host Kari Schwear, founder of GrayTonic, helps business owners, leaders, and high-achievers understand what’s driving their habits, reconnect with what actually matters, and lead their lives with the same intention they bring to their work.
This isn’t a sobriety podcast.
And there are no labels here.
Just clarity, honesty, and conversations most people are too busy performing to have.
While many of Kari’s clients are men over 50 navigating these transitions, the ideas explored here resonate with anyone ready to move beyond the gray.
New episodes every Tuesday.