1 00:00:00,183 --> 00:00:01,850 if we were starting to act up 2 00:00:01,850 --> 00:00:05,733 or she was starting to get irritated with me and Matt 3 00:00:05,733 --> 00:00:07,233 fighting or whatever 4 00:00:07,533 --> 00:00:08,733 um she would say 7 5 00:00:08,733 --> 00:00:09,300 6 8 2 6 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:09,650 1 5 7 00:00:09,650 --> 00:00:13,350 3 be what that meant was I'll call your dad 8 00:00:13,650 --> 00:00:16,700 and we knew like if if 9 00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:18,600 if mom gave us a punishment 10 00:00:18,783 --> 00:00:21,533 it was go to your room for five minutes right 11 00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:24,150 yeah but if you gave us a punishment 12 00:00:24,216 --> 00:00:27,383 it was go to your room for a week and so 13 00:00:27,383 --> 00:00:29,750 and get your butt spanked yeah 14 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:36,116 and so we would just absolutely be terrified 15 00:00:36,650 --> 00:00:37,500 haha if 16 00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:39,133 if she was gonna 17 00:00:39,133 --> 00:00:41,833 if she was gonna dial that number and that uh 18 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:43,466 that scared us straight 19 00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:52,300 welcome back to raising men 20 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:52,450 now 21 00:00:52,450 --> 00:00:56,133 we say that raising men starts with raising ourselves 22 00:00:56,133 --> 00:01:00,950 but in order to truly understand the men we are today 23 00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:04,116 we have to have the courage to look through 24 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:07,183 the generational rearview mirror 25 00:01:07,183 --> 00:01:10,933 so today's episode is a little bit different 26 00:01:10,933 --> 00:01:15,333 in honor of Father's Day it's kind of a personal thing 27 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:19,600 my guest today spent decades under the high pressure 28 00:01:19,650 --> 00:01:23,683 bright lights of elite television sports broadcasting 29 00:01:23,816 --> 00:01:26,033 he navigated major media markets 30 00:01:26,533 --> 00:01:29,433 interviewed the greatest athletes of an era 31 00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:31,183 and he carried the massive 32 00:01:31,183 --> 00:01:31,650 cultural 33 00:01:31,650 --> 00:01:34,433 weight of what it meant to be a successful provider 34 00:01:34,583 --> 00:01:39,000 in the 1980s and 90s he also happens to be my dad 35 00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:43,050 Ted Dawson is sitting with me today dad 36 00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:43,916 welcome to raising that thank you Sean 37 00:01:45,050 --> 00:01:47,100 it's an honor to be here well 38 00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:50,433 you have been absolutely instrumental in uh 39 00:01:50,533 --> 00:01:52,416 in in this uh 40 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,483 in this entire project for me 41 00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:57,150 and it is really really exciting uh 42 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:59,950 for me to sit down across from you like this 43 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:02,200 thank you I feel the same way 44 00:02:02,933 --> 00:02:04,033 well let's uh 45 00:02:04,133 --> 00:02:10,350 let's start with kind of a cultural mandate of your era 46 00:02:10,583 --> 00:02:12,733 that kind of persists today 47 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,216 um so 48 00:02:14,216 --> 00:02:17,250 there is a study from ecomundo 49 00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:20,316 showing that 86% of US men 50 00:02:20,616 --> 00:02:25,550 believe that being the primary financial provider 51 00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:28,716 is the single most defining trait 52 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,683 of manhood now 53 00:02:31,816 --> 00:02:34,050 this is something that I mean I 54 00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:35,983 I gotta say candidly uh 55 00:02:35,983 --> 00:02:38,583 this is something you knocked out of the park right 56 00:02:38,583 --> 00:02:43,916 you provided you provided us with a life 57 00:02:43,933 --> 00:02:47,533 incredibly rich in experience and 58 00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:50,650 you know we didn't really want for much 59 00:02:50,650 --> 00:02:53,900 we had an amazing freaking childhood and oh 60 00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,183 thank you yeah 61 00:02:55,183 --> 00:02:57,000 and more more 62 00:02:57,416 --> 00:03:01,133 more than that you later reached out 63 00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:03,283 and you helped me buy my first business 64 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,450 which is a move that literally 65 00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:08,250 propelled me to financial independence 66 00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:09,650 it wouldn't happen without you 67 00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:11,400 I want to take this opportunity 68 00:03:15,783 --> 00:03:19,283 to express my appreciation about that 69 00:03:19,383 --> 00:03:21,516 and it completely like I said 70 00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:23,183 it completely uh 71 00:03:23,183 --> 00:03:24,833 changed the trajectory of my life 72 00:03:25,183 --> 00:03:27,233 thank you um 73 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:31,050 as I know from now having my own kids 74 00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:34,733 that level of provision requires a massive 75 00:03:34,733 --> 00:03:35,683 internal toll 76 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:37,583 and so 77 00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:39,900 I'm interested looking back at those high stake years 78 00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:41,883 how do you how did you balance 79 00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:47,000 that intense drive to secure our future 80 00:03:47,616 --> 00:03:50,050 with the emotional needs of the family at home 81 00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:51,416 did you think about that or what 82 00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:52,383 you know no 83 00:03:52,383 --> 00:03:53,216 how did you try to do that 84 00:03:53,216 --> 00:03:54,700 I guess that's how I managed it 85 00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:58,200 in that I was concentrating on my career 86 00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:00,450 yeah we both know 87 00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:04,516 you had an incredible mother who handled that 88 00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:07,883 that was all I did was turn my check over to her 89 00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:09,250 haha 90 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:13,116 she handled it she was the one that worried about it 91 00:04:13,616 --> 00:04:15,733 so I was concerned with my career 92 00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:18,700 I was concerned with getting the latest interview and 93 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:21,283 and going the latest sporting event 94 00:04:21,816 --> 00:04:25,216 your mom is the one who faced the 95 00:04:25,216 --> 00:04:27,483 the problem of providing for you 96 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,383 yeah and she did a remarkable job 97 00:04:30,383 --> 00:04:31,916 as most women do 98 00:04:33,050 --> 00:04:34,116 yeah we were 99 00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:36,483 we were fortunate to have her 100 00:04:36,783 --> 00:04:39,016 and we'll talk more about her uh 101 00:04:39,016 --> 00:04:40,116 definitely uh 102 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,816 in the later part of the episode 103 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,083 I um 104 00:04:45,050 --> 00:04:46,416 do you I mean 105 00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,883 how do you feel about that looking back on that 106 00:04:48,983 --> 00:04:50,050 was that the right call 107 00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:51,816 or would you have balanced things differently 108 00:04:51,816 --> 00:04:53,283 would you have done you know 109 00:04:53,616 --> 00:04:54,633 how would you have handled it 110 00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:57,600 absolutely it was the best thing for me 111 00:04:57,783 --> 00:05:00,683 yeah I could concentrate on my career 112 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:04,016 my full concentration was on my career 113 00:05:04,016 --> 00:05:06,150 and she had everything else 114 00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:10,033 I did some discipline and very little 115 00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,150 yeah I 116 00:05:12,183 --> 00:05:14,516 I remember um 117 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:18,383 I I can almost produce your 118 00:05:18,383 --> 00:05:19,300 your uh 119 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:25,300 work phone number in Los Angeles because there was this 120 00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,150 um 121 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:27,933 uh yeah 122 00:05:27,933 --> 00:05:28,850 it was 7 6 123 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:29,450 8 8 1 124 00:05:29,450 --> 00:05:30,350 2 3 125 00:05:30,416 --> 00:05:34,333 yes and the reason that I remember that that I mean 126 00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:37,850 literally it's been 40 years 127 00:05:37,850 --> 00:05:39,350 40 years right 128 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:40,983 um since I've 129 00:05:40,983 --> 00:05:42,933 since I've heard that that number 130 00:05:42,933 --> 00:05:46,700 the reason that I remember it is because Ma would 131 00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:49,900 mom would say that if we were starting to act up 132 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,116 or she was starting to get uh 133 00:05:52,933 --> 00:05:57,700 irritated with me and Matt fighting or whatever um 134 00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:58,616 she would say 7 6 135 00:05:58,616 --> 00:05:58,933 8 2 136 00:05:58,933 --> 00:05:59,300 1 5 137 00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:04,850 3 and that would be what that meant was 138 00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:09,500 I'll call your dad and we knew like if 139 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,400 if if mom gave us a punishment 140 00:06:11,583 --> 00:06:14,300 it was go to your room for five minutes right 141 00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:16,950 yeah but if you gave us a punishment 142 00:06:17,016 --> 00:06:20,183 it was go to your room for a week and so 143 00:06:20,183 --> 00:06:21,716 and get your butt spanked 144 00:06:22,016 --> 00:06:24,700 yeah and so we 145 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:29,833 we would just absolutely be terrified 146 00:06:30,383 --> 00:06:31,216 haha if 147 00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:32,900 if she was gonna 148 00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:35,550 if she was gonna dial that number and that uh 149 00:06:35,816 --> 00:06:37,283 that scared us straight 150 00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:38,850 ha ha 151 00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:42,933 it was more of a problem for me than it was for 152 00:06:42,933 --> 00:06:44,233 for Matt Matt 153 00:06:44,816 --> 00:06:45,716 um 154 00:06:46,416 --> 00:06:50,150 man he did not get in trouble as much as I did yeah 155 00:06:50,616 --> 00:06:53,450 well here's the story I like to tell yeah 156 00:06:53,450 --> 00:06:54,883 when you were young 157 00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:58,283 your mom and I would tell you to do something 158 00:06:58,983 --> 00:06:59,916 no 159 00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:02,816 I'm not gonna do it no 160 00:07:02,816 --> 00:07:05,350 you can't make me do it no 161 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:09,500 absolutely not but then you would eventually do it 162 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,483 yeah Matt 163 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,250 well glad yes dad 164 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,700 what what can I do to help how 165 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,416 how can I help you let me do more what 166 00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:23,233 what can I do for you dad and they wouldn't do it 167 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,383 so I always figured you were better 168 00:07:26,383 --> 00:07:30,200 it was better to do it your way than Matt's way 169 00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:31,583 well it was better for 170 00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:34,300 it was better for Matt to do it his way 171 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:37,383 it was better for you if I did it my way 172 00:07:37,383 --> 00:07:38,083 yeah 173 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,200 so yeah 174 00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:40,983 Matt yeah 175 00:07:40,983 --> 00:07:43,616 Matt used to say that I mean 176 00:07:43,616 --> 00:07:45,933 he would just watch me be like 177 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:48,800 what an idiot what is this idiot doing 178 00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:52,150 and I remember there was one time 179 00:07:52,816 --> 00:07:53,616 uh 180 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:56,216 I was I don't remember how old we were 181 00:07:56,216 --> 00:07:58,550 we were still in the Hollywood house 182 00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:00,916 oh and um 183 00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:03,016 I used to get spanked all the time man 184 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:03,650 I really like 185 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,416 I feel like I spent my childhood getting my 186 00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:09,533 getting my my ass whipped by you 187 00:08:09,533 --> 00:08:13,250 and there used to be this just there 188 00:08:13,250 --> 00:08:15,283 it was like being on death row 189 00:08:15,816 --> 00:08:20,083 there was a whole process involved in getting spanked 190 00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:22,616 you'd we have to go to a room 191 00:08:22,616 --> 00:08:24,783 she hated it she hated it 192 00:08:24,783 --> 00:08:25,333 oh man 193 00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:26,700 I I yeah yeah yeah 194 00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:27,550 I imagine 195 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:29,416 well so when we would 196 00:08:29,416 --> 00:08:31,016 we would we would go to our room 197 00:08:31,016 --> 00:08:33,416 we did we'd be sent to our room for like an hour to 198 00:08:33,416 --> 00:08:35,733 await the punishment right 199 00:08:35,733 --> 00:08:36,500 and then you know 200 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,383 to sit and dwell on what we did 201 00:08:38,383 --> 00:08:39,250 and then you know 202 00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:41,383 after the hour was up 203 00:08:41,383 --> 00:08:44,750 we would be brought into your room 204 00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:47,100 which was down this long hallway from our room 205 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,133 and you'd be sitting on your bed and 206 00:08:49,133 --> 00:08:50,050 and you know 207 00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:50,816 you'd we'd 208 00:08:50,816 --> 00:08:52,533 we'd get draped over your leg and you'd 209 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,500 you'd smack us and we'd scream and cry 210 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:56,883 and then it was over 211 00:08:57,183 --> 00:09:01,283 and so there's only one time I remember 212 00:09:02,016 --> 00:09:02,183 I I 213 00:09:02,183 --> 00:09:03,650 I got spanked all the time 214 00:09:03,650 --> 00:09:04,533 but there's only one time 215 00:09:04,533 --> 00:09:06,083 I remember Matt getting spanked 216 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:08,316 and I don't remember what he did 217 00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:11,533 my recollection is that I probably 218 00:09:11,533 --> 00:09:13,500 goaded him into doing something that I knew 219 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:14,783 would get him spanked and so 220 00:09:14,783 --> 00:09:16,183 like I I 221 00:09:16,183 --> 00:09:17,900 I arranged for the situation 222 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:21,216 that resulted in him getting spanked and 223 00:09:21,216 --> 00:09:24,950 and I remember sitting with him in that hour 224 00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:27,450 before the actual event in 225 00:09:27,450 --> 00:09:31,850 in the death row time and he was really scared 226 00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:33,483 he was really nervous 227 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:36,183 and he was like and he was 228 00:09:36,183 --> 00:09:37,100 I don't know he's probably 229 00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:37,700 he was young 230 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:40,183 he was probably 3 or 5 or something like that 231 00:09:40,183 --> 00:09:42,016 so I would have been yeah 232 00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:44,833 I would have been eight and 233 00:09:44,983 --> 00:09:47,616 and he was just he was terrified and 234 00:09:47,616 --> 00:09:48,450 and he was like oh 235 00:09:48,450 --> 00:09:49,450 you know what's it like 236 00:09:49,450 --> 00:09:49,933 and I was like oh 237 00:09:49,933 --> 00:09:51,850 it hurts a lot and I was milking it right 238 00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:52,616 you know I wanted 239 00:09:52,616 --> 00:09:55,933 I wanted him to experience the negativity and 240 00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:57,550 and uh 241 00:09:58,450 --> 00:09:59,383 he's like and he's like 242 00:09:59,383 --> 00:10:01,533 and so I was telling him and he's like 243 00:10:01,533 --> 00:10:03,416 well maybe I could put a book down my pants 244 00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:04,616 so it doesn't hurt as bad 245 00:10:04,616 --> 00:10:05,050 I said well 246 00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:05,300 you know 247 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,850 he'll feel the book and so he'll know that you're 248 00:10:07,850 --> 00:10:11,900 and then that's just gonna make it all the worse and 249 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,333 and he you know 250 00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:14,183 he was you know 251 00:10:14,183 --> 00:10:16,900 I could maybe I could put toilet paper down there 252 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,250 and it's the same thing man 253 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:18,783 I mean he's 254 00:10:18,783 --> 00:10:21,233 he's he's gonna know that you have padding there 255 00:10:21,583 --> 00:10:23,050 I said I think it's just best 256 00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:24,333 you're just gonna have to 257 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,033 you're just gonna have to go through with it 258 00:10:26,816 --> 00:10:31,183 so when he finally when it finally became time 259 00:10:31,183 --> 00:10:34,016 and mom came to our room to get him 260 00:10:34,016 --> 00:10:35,783 and to march him down the gallows 261 00:10:35,783 --> 00:10:37,550 and I was following behind 262 00:10:39,016 --> 00:10:41,033 mom draped him over your 263 00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:44,633 over your knee and you gave him two quick swats 264 00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:48,900 and Matt stood up and he looked around 265 00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:49,700 he goes 266 00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:51,733 that wasn't so bad yeah 267 00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:53,183 I know yeah 268 00:10:53,183 --> 00:10:57,316 and I was watching this happen and I was just 269 00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:58,883 oh no 270 00:10:59,016 --> 00:11:02,050 and you grabbed him and in my recollection 271 00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:04,333 you beat him to within an inch of his life 272 00:11:04,333 --> 00:11:05,733 I'm sure that's not what happened 273 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,233 I'm sure you hit him a couple more times 274 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,150 that was the deal 275 00:11:08,183 --> 00:11:10,150 but I did give him a couple of big ones 276 00:11:10,816 --> 00:11:14,616 ha ha ha I just remember watching this whole thing 277 00:11:14,616 --> 00:11:18,516 happen just going oh no 278 00:11:19,016 --> 00:11:22,150 oh gosh that was did you fake your kids 279 00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:26,450 no you don't 280 00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:28,533 no we 281 00:11:28,533 --> 00:11:32,533 it's not necessarily we rough house a lot 282 00:11:32,533 --> 00:11:34,216 I rough house with my kids a lot 283 00:11:34,216 --> 00:11:36,750 but never it's never an angry thing 284 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:38,283 um 285 00:11:39,183 --> 00:11:43,633 I have video of you throwing like across the room 286 00:11:44,183 --> 00:11:45,250 yeah what 287 00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:46,533 across the room I 288 00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:49,300 I'll see if we can share some of that video here 289 00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,416 because that is that 290 00:11:51,416 --> 00:11:52,616 that is a a great time 291 00:11:52,616 --> 00:11:54,533 he's probably 18 months old in that video 292 00:11:54,533 --> 00:11:56,733 I know exactly what video you're talking about yeah 293 00:11:56,733 --> 00:11:59,783 I loved it he was cackling like 294 00:11:59,783 --> 00:12:01,833 like nobody's business he had so much fun 295 00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:04,800 yeah we um 296 00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:07,216 yeah we don't 297 00:12:07,216 --> 00:12:09,683 we don't we don't use physical violence 298 00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:12,116 um like that 299 00:12:12,183 --> 00:12:13,583 um and I don't 300 00:12:13,583 --> 00:12:15,683 it's not it's not something that I 301 00:12:15,783 --> 00:12:18,300 it's not like a philosophy that we've sat down and oh 302 00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:20,450 you know we don't do this or we do do that 303 00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:22,550 it's just not it just hasn't 304 00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:24,750 hasn't been part of our our thing 305 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:27,983 I haven't really thought that deeply about it about it 306 00:12:27,983 --> 00:12:31,050 I like we we do rough house a lot 307 00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:36,116 and there is no shortage of times when 308 00:12:36,133 --> 00:12:37,583 I'll be rough housing with lake 309 00:12:37,583 --> 00:12:40,583 and he'll end up crying or mo um 310 00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:41,783 same thing you know 311 00:12:41,783 --> 00:12:43,683 she'll just like I mean they'll 312 00:12:44,050 --> 00:12:44,850 they'll 313 00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:49,116 they end up crying a lot because things get out of hand 314 00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:51,700 but but yeah 315 00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:52,816 we don't we don't 316 00:12:52,816 --> 00:12:55,750 we don't spank them but not in punishment 317 00:12:56,416 --> 00:12:58,316 what in punishment at your house 318 00:12:58,616 --> 00:13:00,116 yeah we end up 319 00:13:00,850 --> 00:13:01,883 um 320 00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:04,983 you know 321 00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:08,200 I wouldn't necessarily call it so much a punishment 322 00:13:08,450 --> 00:13:12,216 like we use natural consequences a lot 323 00:13:12,216 --> 00:13:16,700 like there are just consequences of one 324 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,816 one of the things that we've been dealing a lot with 325 00:13:18,816 --> 00:13:19,733 with lake you know 326 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,133 he's 7 now and 327 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,950 and we've been dealing with um 328 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,850 what are essentially honor code violations where we'll 329 00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:29,600 we'll give him trust to do something 330 00:13:29,783 --> 00:13:30,583 um so 331 00:13:30,583 --> 00:13:32,133 for example we had an 332 00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:35,316 is a situation not too long ago where 333 00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:37,900 um he's not allowed to watch YouTube 334 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,383 and we have that lockdown because YouTube 335 00:13:40,383 --> 00:13:43,133 it turns out is very addictive for him and 336 00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:44,816 and it will he'll like 337 00:13:44,816 --> 00:13:46,850 end up wanting to do nothing 338 00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:47,416 yeah right 339 00:13:47,416 --> 00:13:48,850 I mean it's not just for 340 00:13:48,850 --> 00:13:50,250 for him it's for us too and 341 00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:52,616 and so um 342 00:13:52,616 --> 00:13:54,333 we had a we had a situation a couple months ago 343 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,133 where 344 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:58,750 he lied to us about getting his morning checklist done 345 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:01,483 he said he had it done when it wasn't done 346 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,700 because he just wanted to get to YouTube faster 347 00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:04,816 and so then of course 348 00:14:04,816 --> 00:14:05,816 when it was time to go to school 349 00:14:05,816 --> 00:14:07,650 he had nothing done and we're like 350 00:14:07,650 --> 00:14:09,050 wait a minute what the heck happened 351 00:14:09,050 --> 00:14:09,583 and like dude 352 00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,100 you lied to us you just lied like 353 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:15,216 and he doesn't lie and so times like 354 00:14:15,216 --> 00:14:17,700 that's a really serious thing for him 355 00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:20,583 and I um 356 00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:21,816 I got very upset with him 357 00:14:21,816 --> 00:14:23,616 I I made it really 358 00:14:23,616 --> 00:14:26,533 really clear about how disappointed I was and that 359 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,083 that really affects him 360 00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,333 um a lot 361 00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:33,550 and he um 362 00:14:33,850 --> 00:14:36,633 he actually started asking me for a while after that 363 00:14:36,850 --> 00:14:38,183 what's our level of trust 364 00:14:38,183 --> 00:14:39,433 you know and he wanted to 365 00:14:39,450 --> 00:14:41,483 he wanted to know what it was in percentages 366 00:14:41,850 --> 00:14:42,450 oh and 367 00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:43,850 and I was like okay 368 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,300 you know our level of trust is like 369 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,133 like 40% right now and he's like 40% 370 00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:49,450 he's very upset and then 371 00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:51,200 and then but as 372 00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:52,583 as you know 373 00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:54,783 we gained more trust he was 374 00:14:54,783 --> 00:14:56,216 what's our level of trust now 375 00:14:56,216 --> 00:14:57,100 and I said well 376 00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:57,333 you know 377 00:14:57,333 --> 00:15:00,500 I think it feels to me like we're around 60 or 65% now 378 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,133 he's like really 379 00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:01,700 oh that's great 380 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:04,683 and so it was weird and um 381 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:06,250 so we had this situation where we started 382 00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:07,916 we let him watch YouTube again 383 00:15:09,050 --> 00:15:12,133 same thing happened I just let him watch a couple shows 384 00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:12,933 and the same thing happened 385 00:15:12,933 --> 00:15:14,550 he didn't get his whole checklist done 386 00:15:14,650 --> 00:15:15,650 it's like okay well 387 00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:16,616 you know I mean 388 00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,183 you know what the consequence of this has to be 389 00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:20,050 we can't we can't let you watch YouTube in the mornings 390 00:15:20,050 --> 00:15:20,850 and you know 391 00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:21,250 he's like yeah 392 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:24,483 I understand it's and he's sad about it 393 00:15:24,933 --> 00:15:26,050 but you know 394 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:26,850 I mean we do 395 00:15:26,850 --> 00:15:28,116 we do a lot of that 396 00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:32,333 there are often times where we get overwhelmed 397 00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:33,250 like I I 398 00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,250 I really don't want to lose my temper with them 399 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:38,783 but I'm really tempted to a lot um 400 00:15:38,783 --> 00:15:41,633 I get really mad at the kids um 401 00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:42,616 not a not a ton 402 00:15:42,616 --> 00:15:44,450 but there are things that they do that just really 403 00:15:44,450 --> 00:15:46,333 really tick me off and 404 00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:47,616 but I don't want to be screaming at them 405 00:15:47,616 --> 00:15:50,650 and stuff like that and so in those circumstances we 406 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,383 we we 407 00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:52,700 you know we count them 408 00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:55,183 which means we count to three and at three 409 00:15:55,183 --> 00:15:55,500 you know 410 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:58,733 they're in their room for a period of time like 411 00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:00,733 and they hate that and so 412 00:16:00,733 --> 00:16:01,816 you know that's 413 00:16:01,816 --> 00:16:04,916 that's probably about 90% of it okay 414 00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:07,350 I I do want to correct something though 415 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,533 you weren't a bad kid I mean 416 00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:11,133 he's stretching the imagination 417 00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:13,400 so you didn't get spanked that much 418 00:16:13,650 --> 00:16:15,416 ha ha ha it may seem like it 419 00:16:15,416 --> 00:16:16,550 but it wasn't 420 00:16:17,133 --> 00:16:21,500 I I feel like I was at odds with you and mom 421 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,300 I feel like I argued with mom constantly 422 00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:25,600 I think you were at odds with her more than me 423 00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:26,816 yeah yeah 424 00:16:26,816 --> 00:16:28,233 we just um 425 00:16:28,933 --> 00:16:29,533 we just I 426 00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:31,050 we are a lot alike I think 427 00:16:31,050 --> 00:16:34,916 and we just butted heads quite a bit and she 428 00:16:36,533 --> 00:16:38,733 she didn't have to let that happen right 429 00:16:38,733 --> 00:16:40,733 I mean she could have just shut me down 430 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,016 or she could have called you in 431 00:16:42,016 --> 00:16:43,400 and there were times she did 432 00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:46,316 but I think she wanted me to 433 00:16:47,383 --> 00:16:49,450 I think she wanted me to be able to stand up for myself 434 00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:51,883 and be able to argue be able to yeah 435 00:16:52,216 --> 00:16:54,633 well I want to explain something to your viewers 436 00:16:54,850 --> 00:16:55,883 and that is 437 00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,650 and I think you you know this 438 00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,316 whether you admit it or not 439 00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:03,916 but you were always the smartest person in our family 440 00:17:04,383 --> 00:17:07,216 always from the time you were 3 years old 441 00:17:07,216 --> 00:17:09,316 you were smarter than anybody else 442 00:17:09,733 --> 00:17:11,683 so we had to deal with that 443 00:17:11,816 --> 00:17:14,000 we had to deal with your intelligence 444 00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:17,350 so that was part of our challenge 445 00:17:18,783 --> 00:17:19,383 yeah I 446 00:17:19,383 --> 00:17:22,016 I I get that I 447 00:17:22,016 --> 00:17:23,916 I have to deal with that with lake 448 00:17:24,133 --> 00:17:26,833 he's unbelievably smart 449 00:17:28,183 --> 00:17:30,233 I think he's smarter than I was 450 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,583 and it's it's 451 00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:35,233 it's very very difficult 452 00:17:36,016 --> 00:17:38,483 I'll tell your viewers a quick story 453 00:17:38,983 --> 00:17:42,183 when you were 12 maybe I'm not 11 454 00:17:42,183 --> 00:17:46,800 12 you play baseball and you were pretty good at it 455 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:52,683 but you wanted to pitch and you want a lot of people 456 00:17:53,583 --> 00:17:56,133 so being a sports caster in Los Angeles 457 00:17:56,133 --> 00:18:00,100 I arranged for the Dodger pitching coach to work with 458 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:00,900 you 459 00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:02,983 remember we went to Dodger Stadium 460 00:18:02,983 --> 00:18:03,983 I do I remember why 461 00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,150 we went to the bullpen 462 00:18:05,816 --> 00:18:09,983 and the pitching coach worked with you afterwards 463 00:18:09,983 --> 00:18:12,833 he came to me and said 464 00:18:14,183 --> 00:18:15,800 really good thing he's smart 465 00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:17,450 hahaha 466 00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:20,600 yeah 467 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:22,816 yeah I don't uh 468 00:18:22,816 --> 00:18:25,350 you know that's funny cause I 469 00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:27,033 I came away from that 470 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:32,600 with the feeling that I was a really good pitcher 471 00:18:33,016 --> 00:18:34,783 from that whole session like 472 00:18:34,783 --> 00:18:36,450 I mean it was 473 00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:38,400 it was a formative um 474 00:18:38,816 --> 00:18:41,050 it was a formative thing in my life 475 00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:45,016 and like I remember it and it's sort of emblematic 476 00:18:45,016 --> 00:18:47,183 of the kinds of opportunities that I had as a kid 477 00:18:47,183 --> 00:18:49,183 that nobody else would have had right 478 00:18:49,183 --> 00:18:53,450 you couldn't pay any amount of money to get an hour 479 00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:55,200 with the Dodgers pitching coach 480 00:18:55,383 --> 00:18:55,816 yeah as 481 00:18:55,816 --> 00:18:59,450 as an 11 year old kid and yet I got that 482 00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:01,183 I don't know if it was an hour but 483 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:05,083 but it was something and um 484 00:19:05,650 --> 00:19:11,316 but I came away from that like feeling like I was 485 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:15,333 like I was this great pitcher and that I 486 00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:17,300 you know because I had access to this stuff and I 487 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,233 and you know and I wasn't 488 00:19:20,733 --> 00:19:24,616 and I don't know whether or not 489 00:19:24,616 --> 00:19:27,233 it would have been better for me 490 00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:29,300 to have been disabused of that 491 00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,950 or what I like what should have 492 00:19:34,050 --> 00:19:35,516 you know what 493 00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:38,016 what what should have happened there or what 494 00:19:38,016 --> 00:19:39,100 I know and I end it 495 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:39,500 go ahead 496 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:42,900 there's no question in my mind I did the right thing by 497 00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:43,700 by 498 00:19:44,816 --> 00:19:46,300 supporting you yeah 499 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:49,833 and pleasing you and pushing you 500 00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:51,950 there's no question in my mind 501 00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:56,216 even though I knew you you didn't have the talent to 502 00:19:56,216 --> 00:19:58,433 to make it in the picture in 503 00:19:58,783 --> 00:20:00,516 even maybe in high school 504 00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,150 but at your age I wanted to support you 505 00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:06,150 yeah and I would do it again 506 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:07,550 I wonder 507 00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:12,133 you know I ended up falling in love with sports much 508 00:20:12,133 --> 00:20:13,933 much later in life I 509 00:20:13,933 --> 00:20:16,400 I fell in love with volleyball when I was 30 510 00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:19,533 right and I was pretty good 511 00:20:19,533 --> 00:20:20,333 I think if I'd 512 00:20:20,333 --> 00:20:24,716 played volleyball when I was in 8th grade right 513 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:26,200 no I 514 00:20:26,650 --> 00:20:26,733 I 515 00:20:26,733 --> 00:20:29,650 I would have had the talent to do something meaningful 516 00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:30,450 because I ended up 517 00:20:30,450 --> 00:20:31,983 having the talent to do something meaningful 518 00:20:31,983 --> 00:20:34,183 as an adult almost right 519 00:20:34,183 --> 00:20:36,050 I just didn't have the years of experience 520 00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:39,600 everybody else did and um 521 00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:41,616 you know I 522 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:42,883 I wonder like 523 00:20:43,933 --> 00:20:46,500 I worry about that for my kids 524 00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:50,633 I want my kids to be excellent athletes 525 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,616 and I 526 00:20:51,616 --> 00:20:55,933 I actually have to suppress that in myself because I 527 00:20:55,933 --> 00:20:58,183 because really and I've 528 00:20:58,183 --> 00:21:00,216 I've talked about this a lot on the show 529 00:21:00,216 --> 00:21:01,016 um where 530 00:21:01,016 --> 00:21:01,816 where 531 00:21:02,616 --> 00:21:04,183 you know a lot of that is my own ego 532 00:21:04,183 --> 00:21:05,733 I want to be the dad of a 533 00:21:05,733 --> 00:21:09,433 of an elite athlete and I 534 00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:11,450 I really struggle with that 535 00:21:11,450 --> 00:21:12,633 and I I don't know 536 00:21:12,933 --> 00:21:15,483 I wish that I guess I 537 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:16,616 you know I 538 00:21:16,616 --> 00:21:18,300 I'm glad that you didn't 539 00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,716 one thing that you absolutely did not do is 540 00:21:22,050 --> 00:21:26,600 force me into a a particular rut or 541 00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:29,400 or anything like like you weren't 542 00:21:29,650 --> 00:21:32,016 if I if I wanted to play football great 543 00:21:32,016 --> 00:21:33,250 if I didn't want to play football 544 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,383 that's great too 545 00:21:34,383 --> 00:21:35,816 and you know I 546 00:21:35,816 --> 00:21:38,183 I think you probably you instilled in me 547 00:21:38,183 --> 00:21:39,783 you and mom both instilled in me that 548 00:21:39,783 --> 00:21:41,016 you know if I committed to something 549 00:21:41,016 --> 00:21:44,016 I had to finish it out but other than that 550 00:21:44,016 --> 00:21:46,683 I wasn't forced to do anything in particular 551 00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:52,550 but the drawback to that was that I 552 00:21:52,933 --> 00:21:53,933 I didn't you know 553 00:21:53,933 --> 00:21:54,216 I was a 554 00:21:54,216 --> 00:21:56,533 little kid trying to figure out what I wanted to do 555 00:21:56,533 --> 00:21:59,133 and I was kind of stupid with respect to that 556 00:21:59,133 --> 00:22:00,250 maybe I would have benefited 557 00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:02,533 from some of the parental wisdom uh or 558 00:22:02,533 --> 00:22:04,533 or some guidance there I don't 559 00:22:04,533 --> 00:22:05,133 you know 560 00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:07,050 there's a tension there between those two things 561 00:22:07,050 --> 00:22:08,633 and do you feel like 562 00:22:09,250 --> 00:22:11,700 like how do you feel like you navigated that tension 563 00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:14,933 you think would you do it differently now 564 00:22:14,933 --> 00:22:15,733 no looking back 565 00:22:15,733 --> 00:22:19,083 absolutely not because we let you do a lot of things 566 00:22:19,583 --> 00:22:21,816 yeah I bet your viewers don't know that 567 00:22:21,816 --> 00:22:23,233 you were a great actor 568 00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:26,200 you were a wonderful actor when you were young 569 00:22:26,650 --> 00:22:29,016 so that was your outlet yeah 570 00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:32,250 and you started as Edmund in a Lion 571 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,550 the witch and the wardrobe 572 00:22:35,250 --> 00:22:36,816 yeah that was a pretty yeah 573 00:22:36,816 --> 00:22:38,583 kind of a major production 574 00:22:38,583 --> 00:22:39,416 yeah yeah 575 00:22:39,416 --> 00:22:43,183 and you were the star at 10 years old 576 00:22:43,183 --> 00:22:45,383 or 11 or something so 577 00:22:45,383 --> 00:22:47,050 and you were really good at it 578 00:22:47,050 --> 00:22:51,483 so you made me buy my first video camera 579 00:22:53,050 --> 00:22:54,583 hahaha yeah 580 00:22:54,583 --> 00:22:56,783 I still remember having those VHS tapes laying around 581 00:22:56,783 --> 00:22:57,583 somewhere 582 00:22:58,250 --> 00:22:59,933 man too bad we don't have any video of that 583 00:22:59,933 --> 00:23:02,183 I'm glad we won't be showing that 584 00:23:02,183 --> 00:23:03,200 that's kind of funny 585 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:05,100 what 586 00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:08,716 you know what do you think that 587 00:23:09,650 --> 00:23:11,150 as a family 588 00:23:12,416 --> 00:23:14,116 what do you think we did great 589 00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:15,583 and then 590 00:23:15,583 --> 00:23:17,350 what do you think we should have done differently 591 00:23:17,650 --> 00:23:18,450 uh 592 00:23:18,933 --> 00:23:21,216 well we all loved each other because 593 00:23:21,216 --> 00:23:24,833 because we we all gathered around your mom 594 00:23:25,450 --> 00:23:28,916 she was the central figure in our family 595 00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:34,150 and her goodness shine down over all of us 596 00:23:34,850 --> 00:23:38,833 she made us all better that's what I think we did best 597 00:23:39,450 --> 00:23:40,783 now what we could have done better 598 00:23:40,783 --> 00:23:42,916 I don't I honestly don't know 599 00:23:43,450 --> 00:23:45,283 thinking back and I have 600 00:23:45,383 --> 00:23:47,916 I can't imagine what I could have done different 601 00:23:50,650 --> 00:23:51,733 yeah I 602 00:23:51,733 --> 00:23:52,533 I 603 00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:55,000 yeah she was a kind of a 604 00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:57,700 kind of a rocket ship for us and 605 00:23:57,700 --> 00:23:59,433 and it was 606 00:23:59,983 --> 00:24:04,550 you know she was never out there in the arena right 607 00:24:04,650 --> 00:24:05,333 but man 608 00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:07,783 was she just an unbelievable cheerleader 609 00:24:07,783 --> 00:24:10,533 and that's for sure and yeah 610 00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:11,100 I mean I 611 00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:12,750 I I'm with you 612 00:24:13,016 --> 00:24:13,883 um 613 00:24:14,583 --> 00:24:16,016 yeah yeah 614 00:24:16,016 --> 00:24:18,116 I think we we really did do that great 615 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,516 she can make friends with anyone 616 00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:24,283 I mean she had friends who were bumps on the street 617 00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:27,716 and she was friend with Princess Diana 618 00:24:28,533 --> 00:24:29,983 so I mean 619 00:24:29,983 --> 00:24:31,750 she was that kind of person 620 00:24:32,533 --> 00:24:35,000 I mean how do you look back on 621 00:24:35,383 --> 00:24:36,183 I mean it's so 622 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:37,400 I don't I don't know 623 00:24:37,500 --> 00:24:39,100 the audience might not know 624 00:24:39,100 --> 00:24:41,716 we lost her when I was 21 years old 625 00:24:42,183 --> 00:24:44,733 um which is 626 00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:46,500 it was weird for me I mean 627 00:24:46,500 --> 00:24:47,583 I have talked about this on the show 628 00:24:47,583 --> 00:24:48,333 it was weird for me 629 00:24:48,333 --> 00:24:50,400 when I finally crossed the boundary of 630 00:24:50,533 --> 00:24:52,633 I became older than she ever was 631 00:24:53,533 --> 00:24:55,933 and that was actually 632 00:24:55,933 --> 00:24:58,533 that's part of the motivation for even doing the show 633 00:24:58,533 --> 00:25:01,000 because it was like 634 00:25:02,733 --> 00:25:07,433 in my mind she was this giant like 635 00:25:08,933 --> 00:25:09,983 she could do no wrong 636 00:25:09,983 --> 00:25:12,900 right and her memory is so powerful it 637 00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:14,650 it's actually her memory is probably 638 00:25:14,650 --> 00:25:16,450 far more powerful than she would have been 639 00:25:16,450 --> 00:25:18,200 if she were a person now 640 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:19,833 probably 641 00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:24,233 and because you would have gotten old and like me 642 00:25:24,850 --> 00:25:25,816 crippled up and 643 00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:29,100 and our voice wouldn't be as strong as it was 644 00:25:29,100 --> 00:25:32,283 and all those things so to us 645 00:25:32,933 --> 00:25:34,683 she will always be perfect 646 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:35,616 yeah yeah 647 00:25:35,616 --> 00:25:37,700 yeah yeah 648 00:25:37,700 --> 00:25:38,383 she man 649 00:25:38,383 --> 00:25:39,350 she crushed it 650 00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:41,800 what do you 651 00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:46,200 I mean how do you feel about the path that you guys 652 00:25:46,216 --> 00:25:47,100 worked together what would you 653 00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:49,750 what would you tell her now 654 00:25:51,816 --> 00:25:53,483 if she were still around or 655 00:25:54,983 --> 00:25:56,900 boy did we have a great time 656 00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:58,833 I wouldn't change a minute 657 00:25:59,300 --> 00:26:00,633 not one thing 658 00:26:01,450 --> 00:26:05,800 she she supported me at every step of my career 659 00:26:06,650 --> 00:26:07,800 she never said oh 660 00:26:08,933 --> 00:26:10,783 I enjoy living in Portland 661 00:26:10,783 --> 00:26:12,883 why do we have to move to Los Angeles 662 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,033 she never said that 663 00:26:16,216 --> 00:26:18,500 they just had a new brand new house 664 00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:20,516 we just bought a brand new house 665 00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:24,483 I got offered the job at CBS in Los Angeles 666 00:26:24,983 --> 00:26:27,000 and she never blinked an eye 667 00:26:27,583 --> 00:26:30,750 and we moved into a condo in Los Angeles 668 00:26:31,383 --> 00:26:33,333 from a beautiful house in Portland 669 00:26:33,333 --> 00:26:36,516 Oregon and she never blinked an eye 670 00:26:36,933 --> 00:26:40,150 yeah and you had a one year old kid me yeah 671 00:26:40,216 --> 00:26:41,033 yeah 672 00:26:42,216 --> 00:26:43,016 yeah yeah 673 00:26:43,016 --> 00:26:44,116 she was 674 00:26:44,650 --> 00:26:46,216 yeah she was gun ho like yeah 675 00:26:46,216 --> 00:26:47,383 I mean yes 676 00:26:47,383 --> 00:26:48,616 yes and in every 677 00:26:48,616 --> 00:26:49,916 in every way and she 678 00:26:50,700 --> 00:26:51,616 she always used to say that 679 00:26:51,616 --> 00:26:53,683 you bloom where you're planted and 680 00:26:53,933 --> 00:26:55,900 you know she didn't man 681 00:26:55,900 --> 00:26:57,133 I mean she had 682 00:26:57,133 --> 00:26:58,383 she had like you said 683 00:26:58,383 --> 00:27:03,133 she had so many friends and was so powerful in that way 684 00:27:03,133 --> 00:27:04,900 she could make friends with anybody any 685 00:27:04,900 --> 00:27:06,883 in any station or anything 686 00:27:07,333 --> 00:27:10,283 and yet she it was like 687 00:27:10,933 --> 00:27:15,133 she could be friends with those people from far away 688 00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:16,616 that's fine like 689 00:27:16,616 --> 00:27:17,950 she didn't have to like 690 00:27:18,416 --> 00:27:20,200 she could be anything she could do anything 691 00:27:20,250 --> 00:27:21,383 it was yeah 692 00:27:21,383 --> 00:27:23,716 she was really really amazing in that way 693 00:27:24,933 --> 00:27:27,350 yeah she was pretty amazing 694 00:27:27,933 --> 00:27:30,916 I'll tell you a quick story that you may not know 695 00:27:30,933 --> 00:27:33,800 but once you your kids were in school 696 00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:35,716 she wanted to get a job 697 00:27:36,383 --> 00:27:40,233 so she went out and she got jobs for people 698 00:27:40,733 --> 00:27:42,816 whatever that career is yeah 699 00:27:42,816 --> 00:27:45,883 yeah she got jobs for people 700 00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:50,333 and her greatest accomplishment was one year 701 00:27:50,333 --> 00:27:52,116 she made more money than I did 702 00:27:52,783 --> 00:27:54,450 and and she thought that 703 00:27:54,450 --> 00:27:56,750 that was the best thing that ever happened to her 704 00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:00,983 it was that good that's amazing in 705 00:28:00,983 --> 00:28:02,483 in her side gig 706 00:28:03,500 --> 00:28:05,350 yeah yeah 707 00:28:05,583 --> 00:28:06,950 that's fantastic 708 00:28:07,616 --> 00:28:08,600 you know what 709 00:28:09,450 --> 00:28:11,183 what do you think you know 710 00:28:11,183 --> 00:28:13,083 if like looking back on it with 711 00:28:13,183 --> 00:28:15,200 you know sort of the wisdom of years now 712 00:28:17,133 --> 00:28:24,616 my recollection of your relationship with her is 713 00:28:24,616 --> 00:28:26,200 it was bulletproof 714 00:28:26,733 --> 00:28:28,183 like I didn't 715 00:28:28,183 --> 00:28:30,783 I mean you guys would get in one fight a year 716 00:28:30,783 --> 00:28:33,516 and it was usually a pretty bad one 717 00:28:33,933 --> 00:28:35,983 I never really knew what they were about 718 00:28:35,983 --> 00:28:37,333 or anything like that that was 719 00:28:37,333 --> 00:28:38,416 that was sort of beyond me 720 00:28:38,416 --> 00:28:39,016 but you know 721 00:28:39,016 --> 00:28:43,583 I could tell when it was going on and but man 722 00:28:43,583 --> 00:28:45,216 like it just seemed like 723 00:28:45,216 --> 00:28:49,200 you guys were just really in each other's corners yep 724 00:28:49,300 --> 00:28:52,150 what do you think are there 725 00:28:53,700 --> 00:28:55,300 are there you know 726 00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:57,933 strategies that you were intentional about 727 00:28:57,933 --> 00:29:00,216 to make that happen or you did you just get lucky 728 00:29:00,216 --> 00:29:01,200 I mean was it 729 00:29:01,816 --> 00:29:03,333 well part of it was getting lucky 730 00:29:03,333 --> 00:29:06,516 part of it is a mental thing where you just gonna 731 00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:09,150 I'm gonna support you no matter what 732 00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:13,350 I'm not gonna criticize I'm not gonna question 733 00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:14,883 I'm not gonna 734 00:29:16,816 --> 00:29:18,933 give you grief about anything 735 00:29:18,933 --> 00:29:20,383 I'm gonna support you 736 00:29:20,383 --> 00:29:23,000 and that's the mindset we both had 737 00:29:23,300 --> 00:29:25,683 and she was better at it than I was 738 00:29:26,450 --> 00:29:29,750 because she was an expert at everything she touched 739 00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:34,150 you know you know what I mean she was in real estate 740 00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:37,800 and she may not have sold a house 741 00:29:38,133 --> 00:29:40,283 and I know she didn't sell very many 742 00:29:40,850 --> 00:29:44,150 but she made 500 friends 743 00:29:45,050 --> 00:29:48,950 that remained friends all her life yeah 744 00:29:49,100 --> 00:29:51,550 that was her gift yeah 745 00:29:51,783 --> 00:29:54,633 there's something about that that 746 00:29:56,900 --> 00:29:58,650 kind of unwavering support 747 00:29:58,650 --> 00:30:02,816 I'm behind you all the way that I mean 748 00:30:02,816 --> 00:30:05,650 I definitely witnessed that and I would second that 749 00:30:05,650 --> 00:30:08,233 I'd I absolutely think that was the case 750 00:30:09,650 --> 00:30:13,200 and I think that that 751 00:30:14,783 --> 00:30:15,300 she didn't 752 00:30:15,300 --> 00:30:18,283 wait to make sure that you were worthy of that 753 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:19,883 if you know what I mean 754 00:30:20,533 --> 00:30:21,483 she didn't 755 00:30:22,100 --> 00:30:26,783 she made you worthy of that by trusting you to 756 00:30:26,783 --> 00:30:29,283 be worthy of that and as a result 757 00:30:29,416 --> 00:30:33,100 you became worthy of that 758 00:30:33,100 --> 00:30:35,900 you might not have started out worthy of that kind of 759 00:30:35,900 --> 00:30:39,533 support but you were in that relationship 760 00:30:39,533 --> 00:30:41,683 you ended up worthy of it 761 00:30:43,016 --> 00:30:45,250 is my that's at least my sense 762 00:30:45,250 --> 00:30:47,100 or at least the vast majority of the time 763 00:30:47,100 --> 00:30:49,116 I'm sure you fell short in some way 764 00:30:49,900 --> 00:30:50,016 well I 765 00:30:50,016 --> 00:30:52,716 I definitely felt sure we were dating 766 00:30:53,383 --> 00:30:56,083 because I dated a lot of women haha 767 00:30:56,650 --> 00:30:59,483 including while I was dating your mother 768 00:31:00,016 --> 00:31:03,400 hmm and she hung with me despite that 769 00:31:05,383 --> 00:31:06,183 interesting 770 00:31:06,616 --> 00:31:07,533 yeah I 771 00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:08,683 uh that's 772 00:31:08,933 --> 00:31:10,616 I'll tell you what almost ruined this 773 00:31:10,616 --> 00:31:14,450 once I had a penis I was going to San Jose 774 00:31:14,450 --> 00:31:18,916 I was flying to San Jose to broadcast a football game 775 00:31:19,416 --> 00:31:21,483 and over the Sierra Mountains 776 00:31:22,650 --> 00:31:24,516 I had an a a a 777 00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:27,200 a pancreatitis attack 778 00:31:27,933 --> 00:31:30,300 and it turned around go back to 779 00:31:30,300 --> 00:31:31,450 I'm not I'm serious 780 00:31:31,450 --> 00:31:36,200 go back to Reno and have the numbers happen back to me 781 00:31:37,383 --> 00:31:39,833 the hospital my mother came to see me 782 00:31:40,733 --> 00:31:42,800 well one of my six other girls 783 00:31:43,983 --> 00:31:45,400 she was not happy 784 00:31:46,100 --> 00:31:50,116 but that's when we knew that I had to stop this 785 00:31:51,100 --> 00:31:54,716 and she knew that I better stop it 786 00:31:55,050 --> 00:31:56,600 or that would be the end 787 00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,083 wow 788 00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:01,500 your relationship with your own father 789 00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:06,416 how did that influence how you became as a father 790 00:32:06,416 --> 00:32:08,116 both in positive and negative ways 791 00:32:08,216 --> 00:32:12,350 well my father was very supportive of sports 792 00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:16,033 my mother was very supportive of music 793 00:32:17,050 --> 00:32:18,683 my mother wanted me 794 00:32:19,216 --> 00:32:22,400 involved in music my dad in sports 795 00:32:22,816 --> 00:32:25,533 so I had to do both to please them 796 00:32:25,533 --> 00:32:28,683 I was always trying to please my parents 797 00:32:29,216 --> 00:32:33,833 and they were child of depression 798 00:32:35,183 --> 00:32:38,316 they were never really satisfying 799 00:32:39,133 --> 00:32:41,083 so you never could please them 800 00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,016 so that was 801 00:32:44,016 --> 00:32:46,250 it was difficult yeah 802 00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:47,083 but 803 00:32:47,616 --> 00:32:49,316 an interesting thing happened 804 00:32:49,733 --> 00:32:52,600 that your viewers might appreciate 805 00:32:52,733 --> 00:32:57,000 but when I dropped out of medical school 806 00:32:57,650 --> 00:32:59,000 become a sports caster 807 00:32:59,650 --> 00:33:02,233 my parents very upset 808 00:33:02,383 --> 00:33:04,633 and they wanted nothing to do with me 809 00:33:05,583 --> 00:33:06,716 so 810 00:33:07,416 --> 00:33:09,500 you know I had nothing to do 811 00:33:09,500 --> 00:33:11,583 I married your mom I had 812 00:33:11,583 --> 00:33:12,633 we had you 813 00:33:13,050 --> 00:33:15,000 and my parents weren't involved 814 00:33:15,700 --> 00:33:17,850 but when I went to Los Angeles 815 00:33:17,850 --> 00:33:20,816 I was invited to play in the big Crosby National 816 00:33:20,816 --> 00:33:22,116 Pro am golf tournament 817 00:33:23,816 --> 00:33:28,083 and my parents saw me playing golf with Lawrence Welk 818 00:33:28,416 --> 00:33:30,083 he was my playing partner 819 00:33:30,733 --> 00:33:31,616 and my parents 820 00:33:31,616 --> 00:33:34,633 who had danced to Lawrence Welk in South Dakota 821 00:33:34,900 --> 00:33:36,233 as teenagers 822 00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:37,933 decided that oh 823 00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:39,233 I must be OK 824 00:33:39,850 --> 00:33:41,916 and that got us back together again 825 00:33:42,416 --> 00:33:43,216 wow 826 00:33:44,100 --> 00:33:45,183 wow yeah 827 00:33:45,183 --> 00:33:45,983 um 828 00:33:46,683 --> 00:33:47,533 well your parents 829 00:33:47,533 --> 00:33:49,033 your mother uh 830 00:33:49,183 --> 00:33:51,433 sure loved Matt hahaha 831 00:33:51,450 --> 00:33:53,300 she she didn't care for me at all because 832 00:33:53,300 --> 00:33:54,933 because Matt was yes 833 00:33:54,933 --> 00:33:55,650 yes grandma 834 00:33:55,650 --> 00:33:56,833 anything you want that's right 835 00:33:57,383 --> 00:33:58,783 yeah man 836 00:33:58,783 --> 00:33:59,500 she uh 837 00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:00,933 she and I did not get along 838 00:34:00,933 --> 00:34:04,316 she did not like conflict 839 00:34:04,700 --> 00:34:06,016 no no 840 00:34:06,016 --> 00:34:07,300 I mean she like conflict 841 00:34:07,300 --> 00:34:09,683 if she was a child she likes conflict plenty 842 00:34:10,016 --> 00:34:10,500 ha ha ha 843 00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:13,016 yeah she just wanted to be on the 844 00:34:13,016 --> 00:34:14,533 on the winning side of it all 845 00:34:14,533 --> 00:34:15,350 right 846 00:34:15,983 --> 00:34:16,783 well 847 00:34:17,100 --> 00:34:18,150 you were a teacher 848 00:34:20,333 --> 00:34:21,750 you think that 849 00:34:23,383 --> 00:34:24,016 I mean do you think 850 00:34:24,016 --> 00:34:25,333 there are any aspects of your relationship 851 00:34:25,333 --> 00:34:29,783 with your dad that you felt was a counter example 852 00:34:29,783 --> 00:34:33,016 that you that you wanted to not do 853 00:34:33,016 --> 00:34:35,316 yeah my dad was always soft spoken 854 00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:38,183 it was always gentle 855 00:34:38,183 --> 00:34:40,833 it was always friendly and lots of friends 856 00:34:41,450 --> 00:34:43,233 and I wanted to be like that 857 00:34:45,050 --> 00:34:48,316 yeah I never wanted to be critical like my mother was 858 00:34:49,850 --> 00:34:51,750 yeah yeah that's for sure 859 00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:54,050 yeah that's interesting 860 00:34:54,050 --> 00:34:55,600 I can I can see that 861 00:34:55,816 --> 00:34:56,900 but I can see that I mean 862 00:34:56,900 --> 00:34:58,350 my mother's background 863 00:34:59,416 --> 00:35:02,283 I think I've told you the story about your grandmother 864 00:35:02,933 --> 00:35:04,133 yeah your grandmother 865 00:35:04,133 --> 00:35:05,483 my mother's mother 866 00:35:06,133 --> 00:35:09,716 was born in the back of a wagon on the Oregon Trail 867 00:35:10,216 --> 00:35:12,200 in 1876 868 00:35:12,733 --> 00:35:14,033 that's how old I am 869 00:35:15,050 --> 00:35:19,900 so when they went to their homestead in South Dakota 870 00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:22,000 and built a homestead there 871 00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:24,433 she was one of 12 children 872 00:35:25,100 --> 00:35:27,233 wow and they had this homestead 873 00:35:27,250 --> 00:35:28,550 and one day 874 00:35:29,133 --> 00:35:33,683 a tribe of Lakota Indians attacked the homestead 875 00:35:35,016 --> 00:35:38,233 killed her brother and kidnapped her 876 00:35:39,333 --> 00:35:45,300 so you your great grandmother was a captive of 877 00:35:45,300 --> 00:35:48,033 of an Indian tribe for eight years 878 00:35:48,533 --> 00:35:50,150 until she was 12 years old 879 00:35:50,783 --> 00:35:54,316 so that's the background my mother had growing up 880 00:35:54,816 --> 00:35:57,550 so that's that's pretty tough 881 00:35:57,783 --> 00:35:58,716 yeah 882 00:35:59,816 --> 00:36:00,700 yeah yeah 883 00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:03,200 she was a great story about how she was rescued 884 00:36:03,700 --> 00:36:05,683 a 19 year old cowboy 885 00:36:06,383 --> 00:36:10,950 saw her washing clothes by the river in Montana 886 00:36:12,016 --> 00:36:14,483 and that night snuck into the camp 887 00:36:15,300 --> 00:36:16,883 got a hole in her tent 888 00:36:17,700 --> 00:36:18,416 pulled her out 889 00:36:18,416 --> 00:36:21,033 threw her on the back of his horse and raced away 890 00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:23,683 and I returned her to her family 891 00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:26,816 wow and seven years later 892 00:36:26,816 --> 00:36:28,833 that cowboy became my grandfather 893 00:36:29,183 --> 00:36:30,800 that's funny wow 894 00:36:31,100 --> 00:36:32,650 what a cool story you know 895 00:36:32,650 --> 00:36:36,600 they were tough people yeah what a cool story 896 00:36:37,300 --> 00:36:38,016 I uh 897 00:36:38,016 --> 00:36:41,400 I like to finish up these conversations um by asking 898 00:36:42,933 --> 00:36:44,500 people more or less the same question 899 00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:45,833 and you've listened to the show 900 00:36:45,900 --> 00:36:47,633 so you've you've heard the question 901 00:36:47,900 --> 00:36:50,700 and that is oh shoot 902 00:36:50,700 --> 00:36:53,716 actually before we get into that um 903 00:36:55,133 --> 00:36:56,533 I think one of what you know 904 00:36:56,533 --> 00:36:57,183 obviously 905 00:36:57,183 --> 00:37:02,150 one of the central aspects of your entire life 906 00:37:02,816 --> 00:37:10,183 has been sports you covered sports at every level 907 00:37:10,183 --> 00:37:13,133 from high school basketball teams 908 00:37:13,133 --> 00:37:15,000 all the way up to the Olympics 909 00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:16,583 yes and 910 00:37:16,583 --> 00:37:20,433 I mean you've seen athletes at every level 911 00:37:21,733 --> 00:37:23,516 give me a sense of 912 00:37:24,416 --> 00:37:27,783 what do you think the importance of sports is 913 00:37:27,783 --> 00:37:31,483 in raising excellent men 914 00:37:32,183 --> 00:37:33,200 teamwork 915 00:37:33,933 --> 00:37:35,750 working with other people 916 00:37:36,583 --> 00:37:38,400 depending on other people 917 00:37:38,616 --> 00:37:40,750 even in individual sports 918 00:37:41,383 --> 00:37:43,350 other people have to coach you 919 00:37:43,650 --> 00:37:46,483 they have to direct you they have to motivate you 920 00:37:46,983 --> 00:37:50,000 you have to work with other people to be good in sports 921 00:37:50,616 --> 00:37:51,416 and that to me 922 00:37:51,416 --> 00:37:54,283 is the best lesson that you can learn in sports 923 00:37:55,016 --> 00:37:55,816 hmm 924 00:37:56,183 --> 00:37:57,133 you know I guess sports is 925 00:37:57,133 --> 00:37:59,750 in fact you don't have to be good to learn that lesson 926 00:38:00,016 --> 00:38:01,750 yeah don't participate 927 00:38:02,850 --> 00:38:05,083 it helps you learn that yeah 928 00:38:05,733 --> 00:38:07,100 my wife um 929 00:38:07,100 --> 00:38:07,416 I mean 930 00:38:07,416 --> 00:38:10,800 you know this but she was a professional athlete and um 931 00:38:12,300 --> 00:38:18,250 that open so many doors for her just in and 932 00:38:18,250 --> 00:38:20,100 and you know it helped get her in the law school 933 00:38:20,100 --> 00:38:22,716 it helped get her first um 934 00:38:23,700 --> 00:38:25,183 her first jobs outside of law school 935 00:38:25,183 --> 00:38:27,700 it's it's an interesting you know thing to talk about 936 00:38:27,700 --> 00:38:31,083 but it's also it it also signals 937 00:38:31,583 --> 00:38:34,983 to the kind of people who are wondering 938 00:38:34,983 --> 00:38:36,916 whether they should invest in you 939 00:38:37,900 --> 00:38:39,483 that you can 940 00:38:40,450 --> 00:38:42,500 you can stick with it right 941 00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:44,183 you and it's 942 00:38:44,183 --> 00:38:46,533 it's not it's not gonna be here something with you yeah 943 00:38:46,533 --> 00:38:48,833 music does the same thing sure 944 00:38:49,050 --> 00:38:50,550 if you're involved in music 945 00:38:50,816 --> 00:38:53,033 it does exactly the same thing 946 00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:56,233 you have to rely on people you're part of a team 947 00:38:57,133 --> 00:38:57,933 uh 948 00:38:58,250 --> 00:39:00,750 I don't know whether you even know this or not 949 00:39:00,816 --> 00:39:02,933 but as a teenager 950 00:39:02,933 --> 00:39:07,100 I was a trumpet player and was named to the America 951 00:39:07,100 --> 00:39:08,716 All American Orchestra 952 00:39:09,583 --> 00:39:10,333 and I played 953 00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:12,333 first trumpet for the All American Orchestra 954 00:39:12,333 --> 00:39:14,116 and we played at the White House 955 00:39:14,250 --> 00:39:18,150 nice for President Eisenhower and President Kennedy 956 00:39:18,983 --> 00:39:22,250 so wow that had a huge influence on me 957 00:39:22,250 --> 00:39:25,483 I was able to meet those people and uh 958 00:39:25,983 --> 00:39:28,850 it's just because of my grandmother again 959 00:39:28,850 --> 00:39:30,500 who was born in the back of a wagon 960 00:39:30,500 --> 00:39:33,533 flew in an airplane to Washington 961 00:39:33,533 --> 00:39:37,916 DC to meet President Eisenhower and President Kennedy 962 00:39:39,050 --> 00:39:40,700 he stood next to President Kennedy 963 00:39:40,700 --> 00:39:42,250 and Kennedy loved her story 964 00:39:42,250 --> 00:39:45,050 she just he thought she was just really incredible 965 00:39:45,050 --> 00:39:47,700 and my grandmother says you know 966 00:39:47,700 --> 00:39:49,683 you're an awfully nice young man 967 00:39:49,933 --> 00:39:51,300 but I could never vote for you 968 00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:55,233 I'm a die hard Republican hahaha so 969 00:39:56,500 --> 00:39:58,600 and and President Kennedy said 970 00:39:58,816 --> 00:40:01,183 I don't care you don't ever have to vote for me 971 00:40:01,183 --> 00:40:03,233 just don't never lose that smile 972 00:40:03,383 --> 00:40:05,716 that's what he said to her wow 973 00:40:07,250 --> 00:40:09,416 I bet you would have voted for him hahaha 974 00:40:09,416 --> 00:40:10,700 after that no 975 00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:12,283 maybe never would have 976 00:40:13,183 --> 00:40:15,750 maybe not never got the chance I guess 977 00:40:17,016 --> 00:40:18,683 but that's your heritage 978 00:40:20,050 --> 00:40:21,933 interesting yeah interesting 979 00:40:21,933 --> 00:40:23,233 yeah I remember uh 980 00:40:24,133 --> 00:40:30,683 I remember the so I had never seen you play the trumpet 981 00:40:31,333 --> 00:40:32,233 um 982 00:40:33,100 --> 00:40:35,050 I never knew that you could 983 00:40:35,050 --> 00:40:37,483 we didn't have a trumpet at home or anything like that 984 00:40:37,933 --> 00:40:40,316 and I broke my hand playing polo 985 00:40:40,583 --> 00:40:42,283 so I couldn't use it anymore 986 00:40:42,700 --> 00:40:44,183 yeah oh interesting 987 00:40:44,183 --> 00:40:45,316 yeah okay 988 00:40:45,383 --> 00:40:47,733 and I but I remember going like 989 00:40:47,733 --> 00:40:49,633 we were at a 990 00:40:50,333 --> 00:40:51,316 um 991 00:40:51,533 --> 00:40:57,816 we went to a fair and they had like a little band there 992 00:40:57,816 --> 00:41:01,533 and somehow you ended up playing the trumpet with these 993 00:41:01,533 --> 00:41:02,950 with this band I was like 994 00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:04,900 I was blown away when I was a kid 995 00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:06,850 I was blown away that you wow 996 00:41:06,850 --> 00:41:08,016 you know how to play the trumpet 997 00:41:08,016 --> 00:41:09,600 it was really interesting 998 00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:13,283 yeah that was a big part of my life 999 00:41:13,416 --> 00:41:14,700 yeah that's so funny 1000 00:41:14,700 --> 00:41:18,133 well you don't have to do sports if you're not inclined 1001 00:41:18,133 --> 00:41:19,900 and and if you do sports 1002 00:41:19,900 --> 00:41:23,383 you need to love it you need to absolutely love it 1003 00:41:23,383 --> 00:41:25,116 it's like you need to love music 1004 00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:28,116 if you go that direction or 1005 00:41:28,383 --> 00:41:30,033 or studies I mean this 1006 00:41:30,216 --> 00:41:31,250 whatever it is yeah 1007 00:41:31,250 --> 00:41:34,633 I think you need some kind of discipline in your life 1008 00:41:34,733 --> 00:41:36,600 other than just book learning 1009 00:41:37,333 --> 00:41:39,150 yeah but either music 1010 00:41:39,383 --> 00:41:41,683 music and sports work for me 1011 00:41:41,816 --> 00:41:42,416 you know those are 1012 00:41:42,416 --> 00:41:44,316 those are some of the institutions that are 1013 00:41:44,533 --> 00:41:45,616 getting really strained I mean 1014 00:41:45,616 --> 00:41:46,700 there are still sports teams 1015 00:41:46,700 --> 00:41:47,733 but you know 1016 00:41:47,733 --> 00:41:49,016 it used to be the case you could just play 1017 00:41:49,016 --> 00:41:50,383 you'd you'd play sports in high school 1018 00:41:50,383 --> 00:41:51,700 and in high schools you know 1019 00:41:51,700 --> 00:41:53,616 schools had teams and then you would just play there 1020 00:41:53,616 --> 00:41:55,116 and that was the deal and now 1021 00:41:55,133 --> 00:41:55,700 you actually 1022 00:41:55,700 --> 00:41:58,016 can't really get into sports in any major way 1023 00:41:58,016 --> 00:41:59,783 unless you play club sports 1024 00:41:59,783 --> 00:42:01,000 and essentially 1025 00:42:01,050 --> 00:42:03,183 you're turning pro when you're 12 years old 1026 00:42:03,183 --> 00:42:04,333 if you do you have to 1027 00:42:04,333 --> 00:42:06,016 you have to focus on a particular sport 1028 00:42:06,016 --> 00:42:06,933 if you want to excel at it 1029 00:42:06,933 --> 00:42:08,333 and that's the only way you're getting into college 1030 00:42:08,333 --> 00:42:10,933 it turns into this freaking profession right 1031 00:42:10,933 --> 00:42:13,116 and so the institution has gotten 1032 00:42:14,450 --> 00:42:17,583 you know it's gotten corrupted and and 1033 00:42:17,583 --> 00:42:19,033 and we don't have 1034 00:42:19,100 --> 00:42:22,016 we don't have true amateur sports as much in the 1035 00:42:22,016 --> 00:42:24,383 in the way that we did even when I was a kid 1036 00:42:24,383 --> 00:42:26,083 and I really struggle 1037 00:42:26,183 --> 00:42:30,816 I really struggle with what to do with my kids about 1038 00:42:30,816 --> 00:42:33,583 you know my kids have the genetic material 1039 00:42:33,583 --> 00:42:36,783 to be unbelievably great at a sport 1040 00:42:36,783 --> 00:42:38,283 or maybe more than one sport 1041 00:42:38,733 --> 00:42:40,250 and I want them to 1042 00:42:40,250 --> 00:42:42,600 for my own reasons and for their reasons 1043 00:42:43,133 --> 00:42:45,383 and I wanna cultivate in that 1044 00:42:45,383 --> 00:42:47,016 that in them I also don't 1045 00:42:47,016 --> 00:42:49,350 necessarily have the time to drive them to 1,000 1046 00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:50,383 different sports games 1047 00:42:50,383 --> 00:42:51,616 and try a thousand different things 1048 00:42:51,616 --> 00:42:52,416 and you know 1049 00:42:52,416 --> 00:42:53,983 I don't even know that they're gonna be into it 1050 00:42:53,983 --> 00:42:55,716 that they're gonna love it the same way 1051 00:42:55,850 --> 00:42:57,050 you know I didn't right 1052 00:42:57,050 --> 00:42:57,533 I you know 1053 00:42:57,533 --> 00:42:59,133 I played football a little bit 1054 00:42:59,133 --> 00:43:00,216 I didn't love it I 1055 00:43:00,216 --> 00:43:02,050 I didn't enjoy going to football practice 1056 00:43:02,050 --> 00:43:02,900 I didn't enjoy I 1057 00:43:02,900 --> 00:43:04,133 I never enjoyed sports 1058 00:43:04,133 --> 00:43:05,133 until I started playing volleyball 1059 00:43:05,133 --> 00:43:06,633 and then I fell in love with it 1060 00:43:07,216 --> 00:43:09,350 and yeah I just don't 1061 00:43:10,016 --> 00:43:10,900 I I 1062 00:43:10,900 --> 00:43:12,550 I I think that 1063 00:43:13,216 --> 00:43:15,400 I think you have to take your ego out of it 1064 00:43:15,900 --> 00:43:17,783 I think you have to 1065 00:43:17,783 --> 00:43:20,183 and I think you just have to cultivate the love of it 1066 00:43:20,183 --> 00:43:20,850 for them and 1067 00:43:20,850 --> 00:43:23,116 and it's not the love of excelling 1068 00:43:23,416 --> 00:43:28,400 it's the love of doing the thing participating yeah 1069 00:43:29,216 --> 00:43:31,383 yeah and I 1070 00:43:31,383 --> 00:43:33,483 I really struggle with that I 1071 00:43:34,333 --> 00:43:36,100 because I think 1072 00:43:36,100 --> 00:43:37,783 part of the reason that I loved volleyball 1073 00:43:37,783 --> 00:43:39,016 is because I was really good at it 1074 00:43:39,016 --> 00:43:41,650 from the very beginning and I excelled at it 1075 00:43:41,650 --> 00:43:45,233 you know compared to what I could have done and 1076 00:43:46,016 --> 00:43:49,983 and and lake has that same sort of drive 1077 00:43:49,983 --> 00:43:51,416 he loves being good at things 1078 00:43:51,416 --> 00:43:52,583 and he hates being bad at things 1079 00:43:52,583 --> 00:43:55,183 and it's it's a real 1080 00:43:55,183 --> 00:43:57,516 it's a real struggle for me yeah 1081 00:43:57,933 --> 00:44:01,150 just point it out to them 1082 00:44:01,183 --> 00:44:04,750 and I'll let them I'll try everything 1083 00:44:07,650 --> 00:44:08,816 well I like uh 1084 00:44:08,816 --> 00:44:12,583 I always like to finish these conversations with uh 1085 00:44:12,583 --> 00:44:15,316 by asking everybody the same question and um 1086 00:44:15,616 --> 00:44:16,500 you've listened to the show 1087 00:44:16,500 --> 00:44:18,700 so you you probably know what the question is 1088 00:44:18,700 --> 00:44:20,816 so you you have the benefit 1089 00:44:20,816 --> 00:44:22,300 that a number of other people don't 1090 00:44:22,300 --> 00:44:24,500 which is that I'm not necessarily springing it on you 1091 00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:25,550 but here's the question 1092 00:44:26,533 --> 00:44:31,283 if you had one principle that you would share with 1093 00:44:31,650 --> 00:44:32,100 parents 1094 00:44:32,100 --> 00:44:34,716 listening to this show about raising excellent men 1095 00:44:34,816 --> 00:44:35,800 what would it be 1096 00:44:36,783 --> 00:44:38,033 support your child 1097 00:44:38,983 --> 00:44:40,950 support them no matter what they do 1098 00:44:42,250 --> 00:44:44,116 support their their drive 1099 00:44:44,216 --> 00:44:45,483 support their passion 1100 00:44:46,333 --> 00:44:48,250 give them everything you can 1101 00:44:48,250 --> 00:44:49,750 and it doesn't mean money 1102 00:44:50,016 --> 00:44:53,033 and it doesn't mean the greatest coaching 1103 00:44:53,350 --> 00:44:56,116 it's whatever you can do to support them 1104 00:44:56,133 --> 00:44:59,316 and the biggest thing is to praise them 1105 00:44:59,416 --> 00:45:01,683 and tell them that's 1106 00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:04,900 you're not the greatest but you've increased today 1107 00:45:04,900 --> 00:45:07,033 you've got a little bit better today 1108 00:45:07,500 --> 00:45:09,483 always praise your kids 1109 00:45:11,016 --> 00:45:13,083 that would be the advice I would give 1110 00:45:13,616 --> 00:45:14,216 no dad 1111 00:45:14,216 --> 00:45:15,083 I uh 1112 00:45:15,183 --> 00:45:17,850 I really wanna thank you I wanna thank you not only for 1113 00:45:17,850 --> 00:45:18,500 uh for 1114 00:45:18,500 --> 00:45:20,133 for being on the show today 1115 00:45:20,133 --> 00:45:21,983 and for kind of having the courage to 1116 00:45:21,983 --> 00:45:24,783 to look back through uh 1117 00:45:24,783 --> 00:45:28,983 the rearview mirror with me and sit in 1118 00:45:28,983 --> 00:45:33,133 in this space together but more importantly 1119 00:45:33,133 --> 00:45:34,533 for all the support you've given me 1120 00:45:34,533 --> 00:45:37,016 throughout my whole life you know 1121 00:45:37,016 --> 00:45:38,233 thank you I 1122 00:45:39,933 --> 00:45:40,733 you know no 1123 00:45:40,733 --> 00:45:46,283 nobody's perfect and there are certainly ways that I 1124 00:45:47,783 --> 00:45:49,650 there are things that I will 1125 00:45:49,650 --> 00:45:52,933 that I'm changing about my approach to fatherhood 1126 00:45:52,933 --> 00:45:54,583 that are different than what you would do it 1127 00:45:54,583 --> 00:45:57,233 because I feel like I can improve upon them 1128 00:45:57,416 --> 00:45:59,483 but man you 1129 00:46:00,100 --> 00:46:00,700 you're you 1130 00:46:00,700 --> 00:46:03,383 you are a great dad thank you 1131 00:46:03,383 --> 00:46:05,200 thank you very much you're a great son 1132 00:46:05,583 --> 00:46:06,333 haha and I 1133 00:46:06,333 --> 00:46:08,600 I just appreciate it and uh 1134 00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:11,483 thanks for marrying mom she 1135 00:46:12,250 --> 00:46:13,250 man she was amazing 1136 00:46:13,250 --> 00:46:14,516 and you know 1137 00:46:15,416 --> 00:46:16,683 I miss her every day 1138 00:46:19,583 --> 00:46:20,583 oh I really 1139 00:46:20,583 --> 00:46:23,333 I really enjoyed it I really appreciate it 1140 00:46:23,333 --> 00:46:25,933 I appreciate what you're doing and what you become 1141 00:46:25,933 --> 00:46:28,400 and the kind of father and husband you are 1142 00:46:28,700 --> 00:46:30,116 it's very special 1143 00:46:31,250 --> 00:46:34,000 well thanks for that and happy Father's Day 1144 00:46:34,183 --> 00:46:36,383 thank you and to everybody listening 1145 00:46:36,383 --> 00:46:39,616 I want to challenge you this week 1146 00:46:39,616 --> 00:46:41,383 you know it's coming up on Father's Day 1147 00:46:41,383 --> 00:46:45,983 so pick up the phone and you know 1148 00:46:45,983 --> 00:46:48,416 think about dropping the kind of safe 1149 00:46:48,416 --> 00:46:49,100 performative 1150 00:46:49,100 --> 00:46:52,516 small talk about the weather with your own dad 1151 00:46:52,700 --> 00:46:53,850 if he's still around 1152 00:46:53,850 --> 00:46:57,950 just call him up and ask him a real grounded question 1153 00:46:58,133 --> 00:46:58,533 yep 1154 00:46:58,533 --> 00:47:03,133 about the choices that he's made and in your childhood 1155 00:47:03,133 --> 00:47:04,016 and it's I'll 1156 00:47:04,016 --> 00:47:05,216 I'll tell you from experience 1157 00:47:05,216 --> 00:47:07,583 that's what I tried to do in this little session 1158 00:47:07,583 --> 00:47:09,450 and it's it's really 1159 00:47:09,450 --> 00:47:10,483 really rewarding 1160 00:47:11,100 --> 00:47:11,900 and uh 1161 00:47:11,900 --> 00:47:13,450 and again dad thanks uh 1162 00:47:13,450 --> 00:47:14,750 thanks for being part of it 1163 00:47:14,816 --> 00:47:16,433 thank you for asking me 1164 00:47:16,983 --> 00:47:18,300 until next time I'm your host 1165 00:47:18,300 --> 00:47:20,600 Shawn Dawson keep uh 1166 00:47:20,616 --> 00:47:22,050 keep it up keep showing 1167 00:47:22,050 --> 00:47:25,600 up and remember that you are a great parent 1168 00:47:34,483 --> 00:47:37,950 raising men is produced by Phil Hernandez 1169 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,000 this episode was edited by Ralph Tolentino