(Dick Clever, Episode Three, Adhere)

                                                THEME / JAZZ HORN UNDERNEATH

DICK:			Fish Friday’s never been the same. Not since the Cod Piece Murderer 			
                    began ravaging the city. Each victim with a fish finger wedged in one 			
                    of their orifices. Sickening. Those golden crumbed goods used as 				
                    weapons as calling cards…their crisp outside, their fleshy inside…mmm…yes…  
                    sickening….scarily salivating at the thought of dinner I went to see the 
                    Doc about the latest victim found in an alley just off sixth and seven-eighths streets. 

				                                SLIDING DOORS.

DOC:			Dick.

DICK:			Doc. What can you tell me?

DOC:			It's the same person. The modus operandi is the same.

DICK:			I met a girl with a modus operandi and it scared the…

DOC:			No, Dick…

DICK:			That, Doc, was the problem.

DOC:			No. Stop and listen. Dick, the methodology was the same. The 
			        victim had a fish finger inserted here.

				                                MENACING CHORD.

DICK:			In her left ear, eh?

DOC:			Yes, at first I thought it was a herring aid. 

				                                PIN DROPPING.

DICK:			Don't ever do that again.

DOC:			Sorry Dick, it was irresistible. What do you make of the new Captain Hickory?

DICK:			Sounds like he has ears everywhere.

DOC:			And eyes. He told me that he didn't like our relationship and that he 
			        would review my position if it persisted.

DICK:			Eh, don't be too worried.

DOC:			Really?

DICK:			I think it is Hickory Trickery Doc.

				                                PIN DROPPING.

DOC:			Don't ever do that again.

DICK:			Can't guarantee it, Doc.

DOC:			Anyway, whilst you are here, how about a nice cup of coffee?

DICK:			Sounds great. What's on his arm?

DOC:			I think he was suffering from an infection to a prior wound. It really is 
			        quite infected, note the swelling, the colouring, the texture…

				                               SQUIRT OF SAUCE BOTTLE.

DICK:			I see.

DOC:			Now, with the coffee, how about some lovely custard tarts?

DICK:			Excellent!

				                             JAZZ HORN PLAYS UNDERNEATH:

			       I finished the Doc's excellent custard tart and headed over to the
                   crime scene. An old friend was on duty. He’d been on the force a long 
                   time and never made it past Constable. Despite his faults, Constable 
                   Adhere was a good old stick.

ADHERE:		Top of de morning to yer Dick.

DICK:			It's night, Adhere.

ADHERE:		So it is. I'll amend my report, presently.

DICK:			What seems to have happened?

ADHERE:		Well it seems that this fellow was walking down the street like this.

				                              HIGH HEELS ON CONCRETE.

			        And he saw the body of the deceased victim being in a state of 
			        lifelessness right there where his mortal remains were laid out, 
			        inanimate like, to rest in peace in a corpse like manner.

DICK:			Was he dead?

ADHERE:		Slightly.

DICK:			And what did he do when he found the body?

ADHERE:		He riffled through the pockets for money and then made an 
		            anonymous phone call to the police on a prepaid phone using a pen 
			        name.

DICK:			Which was?

ADHERE:		Biro.

DICK:			And you know where he is now?

ADHERE:		No. Shortly after making the phone call on his mobile using that 
			        phone booth over there, he ran out.

DICK:			So Biro ran out. Can you trace his mobile?

ADHERE:		No sir, I failed art at school.

DICK:			Right.

ADHERE:		We dusted the phone booth for prints.

DICK:			And?

ADHERE:		As soon as we dusted, throngs of people descended on us with straws 
			        and sniffed it up. But we did get one print.

DICK:			Really?

ADHERE:		Yes, it was of the Mona Lisa. Oh and Dick there was a phone number 
			        of a girl written in the phone booth.

DICK:			Now we’re getting somewhere. What was her name?

ADHERE:		Let me see I have it written down here. 

				                             PAPER BEING TURNED IN A NOTEBOOK.

ADHERE:		Ah yes, it was Flora.

DICK:			And the surname?

ADHERE:		Ring.

DICK:			Really?

ADHERE:		Yes Dick, its Flora Goodtime Ring.

			                                (PAUSE)

DICK:			That's fine, thank you Adhere. 

				                            THEME SONG PLAYS UNDER:

			       It was at this point that I knew why he never made it past Constable.

				                            THEME OUT.

                                            END

Copyright by Mike Jones and Iley Jones