There are deep biases embedded in the literature and therapist training for how therapy is supposed to be done. Some of those norms have evolved and some of the rules still feel very rigid.
Old school rules say that an adult who is working on issues from their childhood might talk about their mother every week for five years, but a therapist would never suggest the client bring their mom to a session.
But if both the adult child and parent are willing, why couldn’t we do things differently?
Today we’re talking with clinical psychologist Lucy Bichsel, who has been doing some unorthodox and very interesting work in her practice to help people make sense of some of their longest-held wounds. We dive into how Lucy expands the frame of individual adult therapy to allow parents and other important people into the room, potential pitfalls and opportunities for profound healing, and –– for anybody struggling with their relationship with a parent –– some of the patterns and dynamics we see pop up again and again for our clients.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
- How bringing an adult child and parent together shifts the enactment that happens between therapist and client to the original relationship
- What Lucy learned the hard way about her role as a secure base for both her individual patient and their family member
- Why becoming a parent is often a catalyst for people to rethink their relationships with their parents
- Why reinterpreting the past isn’t necessarily the goal and how responsiveness in the here and now creates healing
- How Lucy approaches working with families when intentions are good but defenses are high
- How generational differences and caretaking for aging parents can create friction in child-parent relationships
Learn more about Lucy Bichsel PhD:
Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:
Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:
Resources:
What is I Hate You. What's For Dinner? ?
On I Hate You. What's For Dinner? we explore whether childhood explains everything. We'll ask our biggest questions about love and hate, rage and fear, and the awesome and mundane that all get smushed together when we're growing up.
Tune in to make better sense of childhood, parenthood, and life in general.