WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:03.778 --> 00:00:05.308 Matt: Let's let's just see what happens. 00:00:05.308 --> 00:00:09.308 Let's see, let's see where we land because it looks good so far anyway. 00:00:09.357 --> 00:00:13.897 You know, Alison, this is what I'm considering the 00:00:13.927 --> 00:00:16.067 Session Zero of this podcast. 00:00:16.067 --> 00:00:16.347 Alison: I love it. 00:00:16.417 --> 00:00:17.227 Matt: Right? 00:00:18.007 --> 00:00:21.870 The Session Zero of ADHd20 because we're testing things out. 00:00:21.870 --> 00:00:23.340 We're trying to introduce ourselves. 00:00:23.340 --> 00:00:26.000 We're trying to understand the milieu, the campaign. 00:00:26.960 --> 00:00:27.740 Alison: To that effect. 00:00:27.740 --> 00:00:29.970 I don't know if you do, but I have a d20. 00:00:29.990 --> 00:00:30.920 Ready to go. 00:00:31.130 --> 00:00:31.700 Matt: Dang. 00:00:32.300 --> 00:00:34.790 Alison: Should we have to like roll off for anything? 00:00:34.820 --> 00:00:35.180 Matt: Oh boy. 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:35.570 Oh boy. 00:00:35.630 --> 00:00:35.960 Oh boy. 00:00:36.110 --> 00:00:37.220 Pressure. 00:00:38.100 --> 00:00:38.960 Alison: Not to put pressure… 00:00:39.140 --> 00:00:40.900 Matt: No, I love it so much . Listen. 00:00:41.950 --> 00:00:42.880 Oh, yeah, that's right there. 00:00:43.720 --> 00:00:44.160 Cocked! 00:00:44.710 --> 00:00:45.910 Um, there it is. 00:00:46.660 --> 00:00:47.170 Yes. 00:00:47.208 --> 00:00:47.868 Alison! 00:00:48.020 --> 00:00:51.638 Gosh you know, are we going to get into what this podcast is about first? 00:00:51.638 --> 00:00:53.808 Or are we going to start with introductions. 00:00:54.708 --> 00:00:56.058 Alison: So here's what I propose. 00:00:56.088 --> 00:00:59.378 I think you should give like the quick little elevator pitch, and 00:00:59.378 --> 00:01:03.068 then let's have a roll off to see who goes first and introductions. 00:01:03.128 --> 00:01:06.758 Matt: Gosh, you've already come up with a fun way and implemented it. 00:01:06.878 --> 00:01:07.268 I love it. 00:01:07.298 --> 00:01:07.688 Okay. 00:01:07.748 --> 00:01:08.198 Alison: Let's go. 00:01:08.348 --> 00:01:08.721 Matt: So. 00:01:08.750 --> 00:01:11.010 Welcome to ADHd20. 00:01:11.030 --> 00:01:14.150 It is a podcast that we're, you know, we're kind of gonna feel out. 00:01:14.179 --> 00:01:17.059 And why are we going to sort of feel out what it is? 00:01:17.329 --> 00:01:22.039 Well, the two of us both have ADHD and that's just kind of the way that we live. 00:01:22.459 --> 00:01:26.999 But the idea came to me, number one, because I play Dungeons & Dragons. 00:01:27.139 --> 00:01:29.429 My friend Alison plays Dungeons & Dragons. 00:01:29.969 --> 00:01:34.187 And we work together and we both live with ADHD. 00:01:34.697 --> 00:01:39.457 Which is a… just go look it up, man. 00:01:39.577 --> 00:01:41.947 I mean, if you don't know what ADHD is. 00:01:41.970 --> 00:01:44.240 You know, whatever, but, you know, 00:01:45.890 --> 00:01:46.280 Alison: Yes. 00:01:46.370 --> 00:01:48.620 Matt: We're gonna figure out how those two things, those two 00:01:48.620 --> 00:01:50.760 great tastes tastes together. 00:01:50.790 --> 00:01:51.990 How they combine. 00:01:52.520 --> 00:01:57.660 I expect there will be talk some weeks about ADHD and then more about D&D. 00:01:58.410 --> 00:02:01.110 You know, kind of, depending on how we're feeling. 00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:04.673 And then of course having ADHD, we're going to probably you 00:02:04.673 --> 00:02:06.023 know, also throw the script away. 00:02:07.253 --> 00:02:08.543 And talk about whatever else. 00:02:11.093 --> 00:02:11.363 Maybe. 00:02:11.363 --> 00:02:11.723 Okay. 00:02:11.903 --> 00:02:15.653 Alison: I want to point out that we do have a rough, emphasis 00:02:15.653 --> 00:02:17.543 on rough, outline for today. 00:02:17.903 --> 00:02:20.873 And like, I think we both have timers set to see how long 00:02:20.903 --> 00:02:22.133 until those go out the window. 00:02:22.193 --> 00:02:23.063 So get ready. 00:02:23.303 --> 00:02:26.603 Matt: In fact, that has got to be a part of this podcast. 00:02:26.681 --> 00:02:27.281 Where are you? 00:02:27.461 --> 00:02:27.881 There it is. 00:02:28.151 --> 00:02:28.421 Yeah. 00:02:28.451 --> 00:02:32.542 So the Time Timer is a fantastic tool used for many things. 00:02:32.589 --> 00:02:37.322 For me, I use it to have a very visual representation of time 00:02:38.162 --> 00:02:39.542 going by, because one thing that. 00:02:40.682 --> 00:02:41.912 That's what it sounds like 00:02:42.182 --> 00:02:43.532 Alison: Ah, that's that noise? 00:02:43.562 --> 00:02:44.072 I love it. 00:02:44.198 --> 00:02:46.278 Matt: Time Timer has started, Alison. 00:02:46.298 --> 00:02:48.578 We're going to try to keep these under an hour, the best we can. 00:02:48.908 --> 00:02:54.298 So now we roll the d20 and find out who introduces, first. 00:02:54.658 --> 00:02:55.108 Alison: Yeah. 00:02:55.168 --> 00:02:56.158 Yeah, let's do it here. 00:02:56.158 --> 00:02:56.548 It goes. 00:02:56.698 --> 00:02:56.872 Matt: Yep. 00:02:56.872 --> 00:02:58.175 Alison: Did not do well on that rolly. 00:02:58.175 --> 00:02:58.445 Matt: Nope. 00:02:59.675 --> 00:03:00.065 What'd you got. 00:03:00.065 --> 00:03:00.845 Alison: I got three. 00:03:01.205 --> 00:03:02.795 Matt: Oh, I got an eight. 00:03:03.635 --> 00:03:04.865 Alison: Ah, you beat me. 00:03:04.985 --> 00:03:05.375 Matt: Right. 00:03:05.405 --> 00:03:07.916 Well, my name is Matt Bivins. 00:03:09.146 --> 00:03:10.326 And, that's it. 00:03:10.446 --> 00:03:10.926 My name is Matt. 00:03:11.326 --> 00:03:18.707 I am part founder of a web development, digital design marketing shop 00:03:19.127 --> 00:03:20.897 called Bivins Brothers Creative. 00:03:20.943 --> 00:03:22.353 Where we work with Alison. 00:03:22.387 --> 00:03:23.826 And let's see. 00:03:23.826 --> 00:03:28.626 I have been in a rock band for one huge chunk of my life. 00:03:29.166 --> 00:03:35.234 And I have provided captioning to live theater experiences 00:03:35.234 --> 00:03:37.004 for a chunk of my life. 00:03:37.964 --> 00:03:42.944 And I have had ADHD for a huge chunk of my life. 00:03:43.544 --> 00:03:44.564 Most of it. 00:03:44.704 --> 00:03:45.394 Maybe all of it. 00:03:45.664 --> 00:03:50.923 And then D&D is a different thing because I'm not an obsessive kid. 00:03:50.953 --> 00:03:55.053 I'm not as obsessive person, but man, one thing that kind of stuck 00:03:55.133 --> 00:03:59.953 for a good solid five formative years was Dungeons & Dragons. 00:04:01.033 --> 00:04:03.544 And I am old enough to remember. 00:04:03.554 --> 00:04:04.874 The red box. 00:04:05.474 --> 00:04:07.394 I don't think that's actually first edition. 00:04:07.394 --> 00:04:08.474 It is first edition. 00:04:08.514 --> 00:04:12.054 And then I, you know, I guess I left. 00:04:12.444 --> 00:04:19.248 Let life scrub away my dreams and my, my enjoyment of fantasy. 00:04:19.248 --> 00:04:19.668 I'm kidding. 00:04:19.765 --> 00:04:20.665 I took a break. 00:04:21.115 --> 00:04:22.465 I took a turn, took a turn. 00:04:22.525 --> 00:04:24.945 I just, you know, put my energies elsewhere. 00:04:25.855 --> 00:04:31.328 Until 2020, where the pandemic kind of forced us all inside. 00:04:31.328 --> 00:04:34.808 And I had been talking, my brother and I had been talking about. 00:04:35.618 --> 00:04:37.058 You know, getting back to D&D. 00:04:37.598 --> 00:04:40.018 You know, it has had a resurgence for sure. 00:04:40.558 --> 00:04:42.118 No one can deny that. 00:04:42.448 --> 00:04:45.238 And so we kept talking about it and talking about it, talking about it, 00:04:45.298 --> 00:04:47.248 Alison was sick of us talking about it. 00:04:47.588 --> 00:04:50.223 But I had so many different things I was trying to do that. 00:04:50.223 --> 00:04:52.833 I, I, I just never made it a priority. 00:04:52.833 --> 00:04:53.883 And then the pandemic happened. 00:04:53.883 --> 00:04:55.623 I was like, let's do it. 00:04:56.073 --> 00:05:01.953 And I didn't really expect for it to be as all encompassing as it has become. 00:05:02.033 --> 00:05:07.283 I know for sure you didn't expect it, that it would be, but for me it has 00:05:07.313 --> 00:05:12.643 rekindled so many things, not just my childhood joys of creating worlds and 00:05:12.643 --> 00:05:16.303 characters and, and, and situations. 00:05:16.303 --> 00:05:20.233 And then running my brother, I only had one friend, my brother. 00:05:20.983 --> 00:05:22.513 He has the only person I've played with. 00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:25.890 Running Evan through these, these situations. 00:05:25.898 --> 00:05:31.778 Not only did it bring me back to that, but you know, this is a performative joy 00:05:31.808 --> 00:05:33.998 for me, it's a, it's the creative joy. 00:05:34.058 --> 00:05:37.388 I've made really great friends doing this. 00:05:37.388 --> 00:05:40.798 And I kind of imagine that moving forward in life, I will continue 00:05:40.798 --> 00:05:42.358 to make great friends doing this. 00:05:42.508 --> 00:05:48.431 It really solved almost every pandemic issue that I was experiencing, perfectly. 00:05:48.641 --> 00:05:50.681 And that's and that's me, Matt Bivins. 00:05:50.831 --> 00:05:51.671 Is that good? 00:05:52.241 --> 00:05:52.721 I'm married. 00:05:52.721 --> 00:05:53.101 I have dogs… 00:05:53.101 --> 00:05:54.371 Alison: That was so lovely. 00:05:54.521 --> 00:05:55.541 It was so good. 00:05:56.081 --> 00:05:56.771 Wonderful. 00:05:57.051 --> 00:05:57.681 Wonderful. 00:05:58.531 --> 00:05:58.821 Matt: Next. 00:05:59.231 --> 00:06:00.621 Alison: I don't want to follow that up. 00:06:00.621 --> 00:06:01.671 I wish I'd rolled higher. 00:06:01.671 --> 00:06:02.951 Made you go second. 00:06:02.951 --> 00:06:06.491 I mean, I knew all of those things about you and it was still an utter 00:06:06.491 --> 00:06:11.088 delight to hear them professed out loud for the audience that we will surely 00:06:11.088 --> 00:06:12.828 have from day one of this podcast. 00:06:12.858 --> 00:06:13.278 Matt: Yeah. 00:06:13.488 --> 00:06:13.818 Yeah. 00:06:14.058 --> 00:06:16.707 Oh, there's one, one more thing, which I think is relevant. 00:06:16.778 --> 00:06:21.573 My ADHD type is the inattentive type as you can probably already 00:06:21.873 --> 00:06:24.385 guess by my halting voice. 00:06:24.435 --> 00:06:25.155 Thank you, Alison. 00:06:25.485 --> 00:06:25.845 Next. 00:06:27.345 --> 00:06:29.295 Alison: My name is Alison Kendrick. 00:06:29.379 --> 00:06:30.419 I also go by AK. 00:06:30.779 --> 00:06:33.522 You can call me any of these things or something else entirely. 00:06:33.942 --> 00:06:37.649 I have the impulsive type of ADHD. 00:06:37.662 --> 00:06:41.232 That will probably become even more and more apparent as we go on and 00:06:41.232 --> 00:06:42.778 also a little inattentive to o. 00:06:42.828 --> 00:06:43.438 Let's see. 00:06:43.454 --> 00:06:47.884 So I first started working with Matt and Evan I don't know, at this point 00:06:47.884 --> 00:06:53.415 five years ago, and now have just really shot my way into the business and made 00:06:53.415 --> 00:06:57.895 them hang out with me every day for work and play, which is the best thing ever. 00:06:57.966 --> 00:07:03.306 I consider Matt not only one of my best friends, but also like the ultimate 00:07:03.306 --> 00:07:07.416 influencer in my life as I think you were actually one of, and we'll get to 00:07:07.416 --> 00:07:08.706 this later in the episode, I'm sure. 00:07:08.706 --> 00:07:11.496 But I think you were one of the first people that made 00:07:11.496 --> 00:07:13.464 me realize that I have ADHD. 00:07:13.505 --> 00:07:14.795 Many, many, many years ago. 00:07:14.855 --> 00:07:17.635 And you're the one who got me into D&D really? 00:07:17.695 --> 00:07:22.015 So these two big parts of my life, you, you influenced. 00:07:22.015 --> 00:07:23.485 Matt: I'm already learning things. 00:07:23.565 --> 00:07:24.075 Alison: Yeah. 00:07:24.165 --> 00:07:24.705 Matt: Amazing. 00:07:24.765 --> 00:07:25.125 Okay. 00:07:26.295 --> 00:07:28.935 Alison: So very similar story to Matt's, you know? 00:07:28.995 --> 00:07:29.821 Pandemic came. 00:07:29.821 --> 00:07:33.104 I live alone with two wonderful cats, Maggie and Coney Bear. 00:07:33.164 --> 00:07:38.264 And I'm an extrovert and a recovering actor, and suddenly 00:07:38.384 --> 00:07:40.724 found myself alone in my house. 00:07:41.204 --> 00:07:44.919 And in March 2020, needed a creative outlet. 00:07:44.919 --> 00:07:48.133 And, you know, so a friend of mine had been trying to get together a 00:07:48.133 --> 00:07:50.621 D&D you know, campaign for a while. 00:07:50.621 --> 00:07:53.171 And all of her other friends were like, nah, too nerdy. 00:07:53.171 --> 00:07:55.151 And I was like, yes, please. 00:07:55.451 --> 00:08:00.131 And then like, once we needed something to do, I was like, hey friend, Jeff 00:08:00.161 --> 00:08:02.391 is his name, do you want to do this? 00:08:03.021 --> 00:08:05.781 And then, Hey, Matt and Evan, you guys keep talking about 00:08:05.781 --> 00:08:06.921 wanting to do this again? 00:08:06.981 --> 00:08:07.791 Are you in? 00:08:08.331 --> 00:08:11.691 And now it's turned into this like all encompassing thing. 00:08:11.691 --> 00:08:14.631 That is all I want to do, all I want to think about. 00:08:14.732 --> 00:08:18.962 And so it's like, I did realize a couple of weeks ago and talking to somebody else 00:08:18.962 --> 00:08:24.082 about this, I think Dungeons & Dragons might be my first hobby in the like 00:08:24.172 --> 00:08:26.422 very traditional sense of the word. 00:08:27.382 --> 00:08:28.942 And so it's interesting. 00:08:29.452 --> 00:08:29.782 Yeah. 00:08:29.812 --> 00:08:32.362 Like I've never really had a hobby before I have interests. 00:08:32.362 --> 00:08:34.642 I have loves and passions. 00:08:34.882 --> 00:08:40.225 But I don't have, you know, repetitious things that I do for the sheer joy of 00:08:40.465 --> 00:08:42.185 both doing them and improving at them. 00:08:42.235 --> 00:08:45.045 But I think there's a little bit of ADHD at play in there too. 00:08:45.045 --> 00:08:49.695 Like maybe my ADHD is why I never had a hobby until I found the hobby 00:08:49.695 --> 00:08:51.975 that really complimented my ADHD. 00:08:52.101 --> 00:08:52.881 Right. 00:08:52.971 --> 00:08:53.631 It's weird. 00:08:53.688 --> 00:08:54.948 Matt: That's that's really? 00:08:54.948 --> 00:08:55.188 Yeah. 00:08:55.698 --> 00:08:56.838 Sorry, we can get into that. 00:08:57.108 --> 00:08:59.538 I want you to finish your story, but that is fascinating because 00:08:59.538 --> 00:09:01.668 I feel like I only have hobbies. 00:09:04.048 --> 00:09:07.408 Alison: I don't and I never have, and it's really funny because I, I come from 00:09:07.408 --> 00:09:13.318 this very crafty, very artful family who… They're very good at things with physical 00:09:13.318 --> 00:09:18.478 outputs, like all of my grandmothers and all of my, all two of my grandmothers, 00:09:18.478 --> 00:09:21.028 but, both of my grandmothers, my mom. 00:09:21.568 --> 00:09:22.588 My aunts. 00:09:22.612 --> 00:09:24.518 You know, they, they my grandfather. 00:09:25.028 --> 00:09:25.988 They all have these hobbies. 00:09:25.988 --> 00:09:28.478 Like my grandfather did stained glass and my mom and 00:09:28.478 --> 00:09:30.248 grandma's knitted and crocheted. 00:09:30.248 --> 00:09:31.658 And my mom does cross-stitch. 00:09:31.684 --> 00:09:33.677 One of my grandmothers was a beautiful painter. 00:09:33.707 --> 00:09:35.447 A couple of my aunts are beautiful painters. 00:09:35.777 --> 00:09:40.127 And I was always just bad at these things because there was a missing link that 00:09:40.127 --> 00:09:41.687 like, I just, I didn't want to practice. 00:09:41.687 --> 00:09:45.767 If I'm not immediately good at something, I don't want to do it at all. 00:09:45.835 --> 00:09:50.446 And I think that's how you get a hobby as you start being bad and 00:09:50.446 --> 00:09:51.856 then you gradually get better. 00:09:51.914 --> 00:09:52.385 Yeah. 00:09:52.475 --> 00:09:57.365 And so I didn't have that same, I mean, I wasn't good at D&D at first, as we 00:09:57.365 --> 00:09:59.715 can all attest, I had a lot to learn. 00:09:59.715 --> 00:10:04.052 But yeah, it has become it's my first hobby and I love that about it. 00:10:04.382 --> 00:10:05.132 Matt: I love that. 00:10:05.212 --> 00:10:10.282 And I'll say, I feel like D&D is something that like improv, which 00:10:10.342 --> 00:10:11.902 is, of course it is also improv. 00:10:12.142 --> 00:10:18.582 It is the kind of thing that it is both daunting, which was why some of 00:10:18.582 --> 00:10:22.062 your friends didn't want to play, but also there is a part where you can 00:10:22.122 --> 00:10:24.832 always get better, but you can't win. 00:10:25.632 --> 00:10:26.832 You can't beat it. 00:10:28.092 --> 00:10:29.532 Arguably anyway. 00:10:30.282 --> 00:10:30.672 Yeah. 00:10:30.732 --> 00:10:31.272 Interesting. 00:10:31.542 --> 00:10:32.022 Love that. 00:10:32.652 --> 00:10:37.182 I think the difference in this hobby is that it doesn't really matter 00:10:37.182 --> 00:10:40.462 if you're bad at it, especially 5e. 00:10:40.482 --> 00:10:42.252 Especially the fifth version of this game. 00:10:42.672 --> 00:10:47.772 I think, I think that if you had started in fourth edition, we wouldn't 00:10:47.772 --> 00:10:49.722 be having this podcast right now. 00:10:49.902 --> 00:10:58.062 And that is no, there's no real knock for 4e, I haven't played 3e or 3.5, but like 00:10:58.372 --> 00:11:04.222 2, and, and definitely 4 the one time that I've played it, it was like so many rules 00:11:04.252 --> 00:11:08.962 so much, but 5e is just the kind of thing where you don't have to know anything. 00:11:09.562 --> 00:11:11.002 If you can sit around a table. 00:11:11.752 --> 00:11:15.342 And have a conversation, carry on a conversation with people, and 00:11:15.342 --> 00:11:18.712 then your Dungeon Master's good, or trying to be good, and therefore 00:11:18.712 --> 00:11:20.602 can bring things out of you. 00:11:20.632 --> 00:11:22.762 You don't have to be an actor or an improviser. 00:11:22.942 --> 00:11:24.562 You don't have to know rules. 00:11:25.132 --> 00:11:26.482 Because people just tell you what to roll. 00:11:26.482 --> 00:11:27.202 That doesn't matter. 00:11:27.562 --> 00:11:30.142 So I think, I think that is, that's interesting that you say 00:11:30.142 --> 00:11:34.656 that because I feel like this game even more recently, it's the most 00:11:34.926 --> 00:11:36.816 accessible approachable version yet. 00:11:36.906 --> 00:11:39.066 I mean, everyone says that, but I really do believe it. 00:11:39.096 --> 00:11:40.326 And I love that about it. 00:11:41.946 --> 00:11:46.356 Alison: I already want to throw our outline out of the window though, and 00:11:46.416 --> 00:11:50.886 talk, kind of pull at that thread for a second, because one of the most remarkable 00:11:50.886 --> 00:11:56.946 things about D&D to me, it coupled with ADHD is I don't do anything, and I'm 00:11:56.946 --> 00:12:01.176 guessing you probably don't either, do anything for long stretches of time. 00:12:01.236 --> 00:12:06.666 Like I get bored easily or just lose focus or need to like get 00:12:06.696 --> 00:12:08.046 up and shake my sillies out. 00:12:08.916 --> 00:12:14.212 And so it's comical to me that, that D&D is a thing that I like can sit at. 00:12:14.422 --> 00:12:17.602 And if you guys would play with me for six hours at a time, I would. 00:12:18.322 --> 00:12:19.582 Without question. 00:12:19.582 --> 00:12:22.342 Again, you know, like I think, I think our longest game was probably 00:12:22.342 --> 00:12:23.992 around four hours in the beginning. 00:12:24.412 --> 00:12:26.452 Again, when we had less to do than we do now. 00:12:26.452 --> 00:12:31.882 But like I play a Thursday night game and I it's for it's about 00:12:31.882 --> 00:12:34.072 four hours, you know, with a break. 00:12:34.342 --> 00:12:38.902 And I like, and it ends almost midnight my time and yet I always want to go longer. 00:12:38.940 --> 00:12:44.970 Which is fascinating to me and I don't pay attention to every second of every game. 00:12:44.970 --> 00:12:48.120 Obviously there are times when I get distracted by something shiny. 00:12:48.720 --> 00:12:49.620 And that's fine. 00:12:49.680 --> 00:12:52.890 You know, I can usually get reeled back in pretty quickly though, but 00:12:52.890 --> 00:12:58.980 it's the fact that I even desire to sit in a place and do a thing without 00:12:58.980 --> 00:13:00.750 doing other things at the same time. 00:13:00.900 --> 00:13:04.560 I frustrate my friends, cause like, when we like hang out and like watch 00:13:04.560 --> 00:13:08.190 movies, I'm like playing on my phone or like doing something in the kitchen. 00:13:08.220 --> 00:13:12.300 Like there's always a, like at least two things at once I have to be doing. 00:13:12.880 --> 00:13:16.560 D&D is really one of the first things that, yes, there are moments 00:13:16.560 --> 00:13:19.740 of distraction, but for the most part, I just want to do that thing. 00:13:20.310 --> 00:13:24.500 Matt: But knowing you, I wonder how wild it actually is, because it just really 00:13:24.500 --> 00:13:26.270 touches on so many things that you do. 00:13:26.330 --> 00:13:29.390 We're both, we're both former performers. 00:13:30.260 --> 00:13:34.140 We're both performers stage and music and, and whatnot. 00:13:34.196 --> 00:13:38.906 So of course there's going to be that part of it, you know, for the two of us. 00:13:39.206 --> 00:13:43.136 That's that's understandable natural, but I, but I think that the part that 00:13:43.136 --> 00:13:51.824 really is the extra, you know, grabber for you, is that it is so very social. 00:13:52.874 --> 00:13:54.134 It's so very social. 00:13:54.254 --> 00:13:56.594 So it isn't like television. 00:13:56.984 --> 00:14:01.424 Because really watching television with a group of people is only social in 00:14:01.424 --> 00:14:04.514 that there's multiple people in a room. 00:14:04.844 --> 00:14:07.304 It's not necessarily a social endeavor. 00:14:07.944 --> 00:14:10.154 D&D has to be. 00:14:10.724 --> 00:14:16.034 And so I think that anytime that your focus does wane, you're brought 00:14:16.034 --> 00:14:20.324 back in by a player, by the DM, by something else that you've done. 00:14:20.714 --> 00:14:21.374 And. 00:14:22.124 --> 00:14:23.024 I don't know. 00:14:23.049 --> 00:14:23.559 Alison: You're right. 00:14:23.619 --> 00:14:24.039 Matt: Yeah. 00:14:24.069 --> 00:14:28.640 I wonder if that's a big, a big extra part of it for you, specifically. 00:14:29.600 --> 00:14:33.410 Alison: Well, and I wonder too, if you know, like, you know, as a former 00:14:33.410 --> 00:14:37.647 performer, I think that that's why I didn't like knitting or drawing 00:14:37.677 --> 00:14:39.107 because they didn't give back to me. 00:14:39.107 --> 00:14:41.047 They didn't, you know, feed me in any way. 00:14:41.077 --> 00:14:44.169 Way, and yeah, maybe that's exactly it, that just out of the gate, without 00:14:44.169 --> 00:14:49.959 any knowledge or talent, you can play D&D and it can instantly be this 00:14:49.959 --> 00:14:53.409 immersive storytelling experience. 00:14:55.159 --> 00:14:55.579 Matt: Yeah. 00:14:55.644 --> 00:14:56.934 I love that. 00:14:57.084 --> 00:14:58.464 It has been an unexpected joy. 00:14:59.414 --> 00:14:59.744 Alison: For sure. 00:14:59.774 --> 00:15:02.624 I thought we would do this, we would hang out, you know, we'd 00:15:02.624 --> 00:15:04.454 play a couple hours here and there. 00:15:04.664 --> 00:15:10.304 It'd be fun and I'd add it to the very long list I have of stuff I do. 00:15:10.334 --> 00:15:12.764 Stuff I have done, stuff I'm mediocre at. 00:15:13.134 --> 00:15:17.974 Cards on the table, I now play currently right now, March 2022, 00:15:17.994 --> 00:15:20.904 four sessions a week on average. 00:15:20.950 --> 00:15:22.175 Three of those with you. 00:15:22.175 --> 00:15:26.643 And our friend Fitz is, is the one that is in all four of those sessions with me. 00:15:26.673 --> 00:15:30.393 And I, you know, I was beginning to wonder, is there a limit, is there, 00:15:30.393 --> 00:15:33.823 is there a point, and so apparently the limit is five days a week. 00:15:33.823 --> 00:15:36.703 I was asked by some friends, if I would DM for them. 00:15:37.123 --> 00:15:40.513 And it's funny because I've been begging them to get into D&D cause 00:15:40.513 --> 00:15:42.163 I feel like they would love it. 00:15:42.184 --> 00:15:45.798 And then, you know, finally they turned it back on me and I said, okay, great. 00:15:45.798 --> 00:15:46.368 Yeah, we'll do this. 00:15:46.368 --> 00:15:47.058 If you'll DM. 00:15:47.148 --> 00:15:47.718 Oh, crap. 00:15:47.778 --> 00:15:52.258 And as you know, DM-ing is a whole different battle map ball game, 00:15:52.288 --> 00:15:54.748 whatever, than showing up as a player. 00:15:54.828 --> 00:15:55.128 Matt: Yeah. 00:15:55.218 --> 00:15:58.618 And that's important to think about as well. 00:15:58.618 --> 00:16:03.718 I personally, I prefer being the Game Master. 00:16:03.768 --> 00:16:09.448 It's what I was when I was little, I like the work, I like to prep. 00:16:09.478 --> 00:16:13.588 It's I mean, it's, it's hard to call it work because it's, it's so 00:16:13.588 --> 00:16:16.518 joyful for me to sit down and think. 00:16:16.568 --> 00:16:19.208 And that's another ADHD thing for me. 00:16:19.274 --> 00:16:21.404 Why I want to get so good at it. 00:16:21.404 --> 00:16:26.624 Why I'm, I'm never un- interested in any aspect of it. 00:16:27.254 --> 00:16:31.147 There's no aspect of it that ends up being something I'm like, yeah. 00:16:31.177 --> 00:16:32.647 I'm not really into that part of it. 00:16:33.067 --> 00:16:34.567 I like being a player, too. 00:16:34.927 --> 00:16:38.288 I do, but I really I'm really, really, really like that part of it. 00:16:38.528 --> 00:16:39.218 Myself. 00:16:39.285 --> 00:16:44.059 Now the interesting thing for me is that you didn't grow up being a dark 00:16:44.089 --> 00:16:48.079 fantasy or scifi fantasy person. 00:16:48.529 --> 00:16:51.019 Alison: I mean, I have a healthy appreciation. 00:16:51.359 --> 00:16:55.428 I grew up loving Star Wars, you know, for instance, but definitely not as 00:16:55.428 --> 00:16:59.928 much fantasy though for, you know, that it was just not that I didn't like it. 00:16:59.928 --> 00:17:02.044 It was just something I didn't touch as much. 00:17:02.046 --> 00:17:06.399 And I mean, you know, growing up as a, you know, adolescent of the nineties, 00:17:06.669 --> 00:17:10.149 I vividly remember it, my junior high and high school, within the nerd 00:17:10.149 --> 00:17:12.339 camp, there were two groups of nerds. 00:17:12.339 --> 00:17:14.739 There were the Magic, the Gathering nerds and the D&D nerds. 00:17:14.739 --> 00:17:17.319 And they were very different and they did not cross pollinate. 00:17:17.414 --> 00:17:21.014 And, and first of all, it was, you know, Alabama in the nineties. 00:17:21.014 --> 00:17:24.224 So I'll let you sit with your own visualization of that. 00:17:24.764 --> 00:17:26.054 And it was all dudes. 00:17:26.684 --> 00:17:29.234 And so I was a nerdy, nerdy girl. 00:17:29.234 --> 00:17:32.414 I mean, one of my favorite things about becoming yours and Evan's 00:17:32.414 --> 00:17:35.474 friends is that you have really like pulled out my inner nerd. 00:17:35.504 --> 00:17:38.204 I think that was the nerd I was always meant to be. 00:17:38.204 --> 00:17:39.344 I just didn't know how. 00:17:39.367 --> 00:17:41.030 I needed my nerd Jedi master. 00:17:41.080 --> 00:17:44.170 You know, I wonder if I had been friends with different people, I guess is what I'm 00:17:44.170 --> 00:17:48.130 trying to say, if maybe I would have felt differently because I do love it so much. 00:17:48.340 --> 00:17:53.050 And it does feel so like core to me now that I'm like, how did I ever exist? 00:17:53.050 --> 00:17:55.341 I just think in high school, I was my own brand of nerd. 00:17:55.341 --> 00:17:56.271 I was a theater nerd. 00:17:56.271 --> 00:17:58.521 You know, I was the kid who ran around the halls, you know, 00:17:58.521 --> 00:17:59.901 singing every word of Rent. 00:17:59.971 --> 00:18:02.164 You know, I was that of nerd. 00:18:03.334 --> 00:18:03.724 Matt: Yup. 00:18:04.264 --> 00:18:06.244 Alison: I was, I was one of the, I was one of those girls. 00:18:06.349 --> 00:18:08.149 And the band nerd and the choir nerd. 00:18:08.181 --> 00:18:10.041 But not the fantasy gamer nerd. 00:18:10.148 --> 00:18:12.038 I've never really been into video games. 00:18:12.068 --> 00:18:15.848 I think I lacked some level of hand-eye coordination there. 00:18:15.848 --> 00:18:20.154 My brother was very into video games and got every console as it dropped 00:18:20.154 --> 00:18:23.574 and I was happy on the Atari because I didn't have to learn new skills. 00:18:23.604 --> 00:18:27.714 It always comes back to like, Alison doesn't want to fail or be bad at things. 00:18:27.721 --> 00:18:31.572 Which I guess we'll have to explore if that's a component of ADHD. 00:18:31.842 --> 00:18:33.442 Matt: I mean it's got to be. 00:18:33.472 --> 00:18:36.200 And you know, we're very, very different in that way. 00:18:36.650 --> 00:18:39.560 Like we you've mentioned it twice, you're not wanting to fail. 00:18:39.560 --> 00:18:43.250 And I have the absolute opposite where I used to go into auditions 00:18:43.250 --> 00:18:45.020 and say, oh yeah, I can do that. 00:18:45.500 --> 00:18:46.250 Can you do this? 00:18:46.280 --> 00:18:47.210 Oh yeah, for sure. 00:18:47.300 --> 00:18:49.080 I mean, I, and I couldn't do it. 00:18:49.620 --> 00:18:50.970 But I was like, I'll figure it out. 00:18:51.540 --> 00:18:54.750 I can always wing it and I always end up winging it. 00:18:55.590 --> 00:18:59.250 And so similarly, this is very interesting for me. 00:18:59.250 --> 00:19:03.670 This is your first hobby and for me, this is something I really just ache 00:19:03.690 --> 00:19:05.220 to be better and better at, right? 00:19:05.290 --> 00:19:09.160 To achieve an effortlessness that, that a Mercer does or. 00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:16.786 Or a Brennan does, but for me, fantasy and sci-fi was actually my first love. 00:19:16.936 --> 00:19:22.276 So I think it's a very fair correlation to go from theater nerd or a music 00:19:22.276 --> 00:19:24.766 nerd to D&D and like how they match. 00:19:24.796 --> 00:19:32.986 But for me, D&D was the way to officially, with rules, act out these 00:19:34.036 --> 00:19:36.243 fantastic things that I was digesting. 00:19:36.243 --> 00:19:39.709 The stories and the Knights and dragons. 00:19:40.099 --> 00:19:40.639 Horses. 00:19:40.669 --> 00:19:45.859 I was like, wait a minute, there's a game that you can get that you can, 00:19:46.429 --> 00:19:49.009 you can then create whatever you want? 00:19:49.065 --> 00:19:52.815 Which, oh, here's another topic for the future: I want blank slates. 00:19:53.295 --> 00:19:55.995 And I want to create them from scratch. 00:19:56.355 --> 00:19:57.015 That's interesting. 00:19:57.075 --> 00:19:57.315 Okay. 00:19:57.585 --> 00:19:58.026 Side note. 00:19:58.027 --> 00:19:58.327 But… 00:19:58.387 --> 00:19:59.347 Alison: Are we writing these down? 00:19:59.627 --> 00:20:00.067 Matt: I hope. 00:20:00.067 --> 00:20:00.627 We should. 00:20:00.747 --> 00:20:01.287 We should. 00:20:01.797 --> 00:20:02.367 Oh boy. 00:20:02.397 --> 00:20:05.340 Yeah, we should just have a to-do list of things that we need. 00:20:06.990 --> 00:20:07.660 Alison: I'll take a stab. 00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:08.700 I'll start writing some things. 00:20:08.700 --> 00:20:10.140 That's going to be new and different for me. 00:20:10.260 --> 00:20:10.590 Matt: Great. 00:20:10.620 --> 00:20:12.929 Yeah, so, so that, that was my gateway. 00:20:12.959 --> 00:20:15.789 And then I became a music nerd and then I became a theater nerd and 00:20:15.789 --> 00:20:16.999 then I became all those other things. 00:20:16.999 --> 00:20:18.360 So again, really. 00:20:18.930 --> 00:20:21.410 Really fantastic to find it again. 00:20:21.890 --> 00:20:26.900 Alison: It's so funny to me, because, so for those who don't know, Matt and Alison, 00:20:26.930 --> 00:20:31.220 we are, you know, we have become very good friends in recent years to the point 00:20:31.220 --> 00:20:35.060 where I like don't remember a time when you, weren't a massive part of my life. 00:20:35.480 --> 00:20:38.840 In getting to know you, I have found all of these wild ways 00:20:38.840 --> 00:20:40.248 that we are very, very similar. 00:20:40.248 --> 00:20:44.342 But then something like this, like your love of a blank page. 00:20:45.662 --> 00:20:48.302 My utter terror at a blank page. 00:20:48.332 --> 00:20:53.622 Like our reactions to the same thing in some ways couldn't be more different. 00:20:53.635 --> 00:20:56.035 And especially funny, given the conversation around 00:20:56.035 --> 00:20:57.524 like, oh, we both have ADHD. 00:20:57.595 --> 00:21:00.932 Like it's, it's to me how like wild and different our brains work in 00:21:00.932 --> 00:21:02.312 those ways, because I'm the opposite. 00:21:02.312 --> 00:21:03.962 I see a blank page and I'm like, Nope. 00:21:03.992 --> 00:21:07.082 And I I can't get out of that space fast enough. 00:21:07.083 --> 00:21:09.325 Matt: Like today, we were supposed to sit down and talk about. 00:21:09.805 --> 00:21:11.545 This was in my mind, the Session Zero. 00:21:11.995 --> 00:21:15.575 And you, I mean, trust me, I do love a good to-do list. 00:21:15.605 --> 00:21:21.136 So, and I, and I really appreciate when someone else does an outline for any kind 00:21:21.136 --> 00:21:25.076 of talk, but it is interesting that you said, I have an outline and here it is. 00:21:25.106 --> 00:21:29.726 Because you don't, you don't want to be looking at a blank page right 00:21:29.726 --> 00:21:33.296 this minute, while we're just trying to make stuff up, which is I get it. 00:21:33.326 --> 00:21:33.806 I get it. 00:21:33.806 --> 00:21:34.556 I a hundred percent get it. 00:21:34.736 --> 00:21:36.465 But that is a good segue though. 00:21:36.465 --> 00:21:41.228 Another thing that I really want this podcast to delve into is the sciences and 00:21:41.228 --> 00:21:45.048 the understandings of our different types. 00:21:45.628 --> 00:21:51.898 And I think there used to be more types of ADHD, but the main three are 00:21:51.928 --> 00:21:54.718 inattentive, impulsive, and then combo. 00:21:55.018 --> 00:21:57.058 Which I've met some combos. 00:21:57.178 --> 00:22:03.060 And those people really, they really are like the full on, you know, 00:22:03.540 --> 00:22:07.830 television cliche version of ADHD. 00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:09.440 We're relatively functional. 00:22:10.350 --> 00:22:13.717 And I, and I feel like the, the combined type, that's that's a lot. 00:22:14.047 --> 00:22:19.567 But what I really want with this podcast is to learn more, because apparently 00:22:19.867 --> 00:22:26.347 the impulsive type of ADHD doesn't necessarily happen that much in women. 00:22:26.415 --> 00:22:28.275 That's the type that I should have. 00:22:28.435 --> 00:22:30.283 I wasn't really a hyperactive kid. 00:22:30.314 --> 00:22:32.204 I was never diagnosed as a kid. 00:22:32.564 --> 00:22:34.544 And so I struggled in silence. 00:22:34.664 --> 00:22:39.243 And I would cry when I had to you know, write out dictionary words. 00:22:39.573 --> 00:22:40.293 Oh my God. 00:22:40.383 --> 00:22:41.163 Seriously. 00:22:41.343 --> 00:22:42.843 I remember the tears. 00:22:45.213 --> 00:22:46.063 It's so depressing. 00:22:46.233 --> 00:22:46.953 yet it's so true. 00:22:47.053 --> 00:22:51.553 So I suffered in silence and I learned how to, you know, get by. 00:22:51.793 --> 00:22:56.413 And, and it's funny when you talk about your inability to watch TV. 00:22:56.983 --> 00:23:01.534 So the way that I've had to cope is to be like a iron fist, I have to be like a 00:23:01.534 --> 00:23:08.054 fascist watching TV, because if they don't pay attention, I can't pay attention. 00:23:08.984 --> 00:23:11.414 So I've had to learn all these different, I have all these weird 00:23:12.404 --> 00:23:18.101 personal rules and regulations to overcome these difficulties. 00:23:18.291 --> 00:23:19.471 Alison: You found fun. 00:23:19.851 --> 00:23:21.171 Matt: I am so fun. 00:23:22.161 --> 00:23:23.361 I am so much fun. 00:23:23.601 --> 00:23:26.721 I'm actually really fun for a lot of things, but that is one that is one 00:23:26.721 --> 00:23:29.301 example that, yes, that just, I can't. 00:23:29.511 --> 00:23:31.331 I'm like, you can't watch your phone. 00:23:31.331 --> 00:23:31.871 You can't do. 00:23:32.111 --> 00:23:33.371 Cause I won't be able to. 00:23:34.241 --> 00:23:36.461 I'll be, I'll be too focused on what you're doing. 00:23:36.731 --> 00:23:37.151 Yeah. 00:23:37.601 --> 00:23:38.771 But anyway. 00:23:38.863 --> 00:23:42.504 I was not officially diagnosed until 30. 00:23:42.594 --> 00:23:48.024 Till I was 30, and an only then I feel because I had just managed to 00:23:48.024 --> 00:23:53.904 have jobs in my life that kind of were conducive to that lifestyle. 00:23:53.954 --> 00:23:55.004 I survived school. 00:23:55.004 --> 00:23:59.084 I was not a great I though I was very intelligent, I know. 00:23:59.142 --> 00:24:01.752 So I had tons of difficulty there. 00:24:01.808 --> 00:24:05.578 But, but yeah, I then just took jobs, i.e. 00:24:05.698 --> 00:24:11.008 full-time musicians where you put me in a van and tell me what 00:24:11.008 --> 00:24:13.318 to do and get me there on time. 00:24:13.318 --> 00:24:16.618 And, and then I know what's next and la la la. 00:24:16.718 --> 00:24:22.908 The only time that it became an issue was when I wasn't on the road. 00:24:23.448 --> 00:24:27.768 And then suddenly I was super depressed because I could 00:24:27.768 --> 00:24:28.938 not motivate to do anything. 00:24:28.938 --> 00:24:31.938 I knew I had to do all of this stuff, like go to the doctor 00:24:31.938 --> 00:24:33.798 or post office or anything. 00:24:33.798 --> 00:24:36.378 And I, I just thought I was broken. 00:24:36.618 --> 00:24:40.768 If I ever had to live, you know, I've tried to fit into the nine to five world. 00:24:40.831 --> 00:24:48.121 And then luckily I had a roommate that had a book on ADHD and I read it. 00:24:48.151 --> 00:24:52.618 And I'm not joking, while I was reading the book, I literally 00:24:52.648 --> 00:24:57.088 dropped the book in shock. 00:24:57.178 --> 00:24:59.068 I was like, Oh, my God. 00:24:59.308 --> 00:25:01.528 There are other people that are like me. 00:25:01.588 --> 00:25:02.458 I don't understand. 00:25:02.878 --> 00:25:04.138 That's normal? 00:25:04.288 --> 00:25:06.118 I mean that other people, what? 00:25:07.378 --> 00:25:10.138 I mean, there were kids, there were kids that had ADD but I 00:25:10.138 --> 00:25:13.828 just, you know, these are the ones bouncing off the walls, literally. 00:25:14.008 --> 00:25:14.278 Alison: Yeah. 00:25:14.698 --> 00:25:18.929 Matt: And then they had Ritalin and and you know, so that was not a t hing. 00:25:18.929 --> 00:25:23.159 And so, you know, finally, you know, the first, first step was kind 00:25:23.159 --> 00:25:24.809 of, you know, knowledge is power. 00:25:25.439 --> 00:25:29.909 I think it's a yearly, monthly, daily thing for me is to understand it. 00:25:29.939 --> 00:25:36.299 And treat it and accept it and so on and so forth. 00:25:36.479 --> 00:25:38.759 But I'm glad I'm again, I'm glad that I am. 00:25:38.849 --> 00:25:40.829 I'm glad we're having this, that we can talk about it. 00:25:40.949 --> 00:25:43.199 So tell me about your ADHD, Alison. 00:25:44.399 --> 00:25:45.329 Alison: Tell me about you. 00:25:45.378 --> 00:25:46.138 What are your hobbies? 00:25:46.138 --> 00:25:50.450 Yeah, so I grew up, I think a little bit more as that poster child of, you know, 00:25:50.720 --> 00:25:54.560 bouncing off the walls hyperactivity, which probably surprises nobody. 00:25:54.560 --> 00:25:55.130 Right. 00:25:55.156 --> 00:26:00.298 And so I, I do remember being aware, you know, throughout grade school 00:26:00.298 --> 00:26:03.478 and especially into junior high and high school, calls home to my 00:26:03.478 --> 00:26:06.598 parents saying your girl has ADHD. 00:26:06.718 --> 00:26:08.668 Like let's, let's diagnose and help. 00:26:08.698 --> 00:26:12.418 And again, growing up in Alabama and the nineties with, I think a 00:26:12.418 --> 00:26:16.768 lot of misinformation and Ritalin being really the only care plan 00:26:16.768 --> 00:26:18.658 for people with ADHD at the time. 00:26:18.705 --> 00:26:22.745 I have a cousin with some developmental behavioral disorders that was on 00:26:22.745 --> 00:26:25.655 Ritalin, and so I think that there was just a lot of negative stigma 00:26:25.895 --> 00:26:27.185 and misunderstanding around that. 00:26:27.185 --> 00:26:29.505 So my parents opted not to medicate me. 00:26:29.505 --> 00:26:33.896 And so then I just kind of like pushed it down for a really long time for the 00:26:33.896 --> 00:26:38.375 rest of junior high and high school and coped and got horrible grades, even though 00:26:38.375 --> 00:26:40.775 just like you, I was perfectly smart. 00:26:41.255 --> 00:26:44.789 I just was not, you know, challenged in all of the right ways. 00:26:44.796 --> 00:26:47.676 Got through high school really by the skin of my teeth. 00:26:47.706 --> 00:26:52.516 I mean, I think I have like a, like a 2.1 GPA graduating high school. 00:26:52.516 --> 00:26:54.106 It's a wonder I got into college. 00:26:54.466 --> 00:26:58.156 Thrived in college though, because the setup was completely different. 00:26:58.156 --> 00:27:02.346 I went to a very small college, Queens University of Charlotte, that 00:27:02.346 --> 00:27:04.326 was all discussion-based classes. 00:27:04.356 --> 00:27:07.926 So now I'm sitting in a circle with people on my level, talking about 00:27:07.926 --> 00:27:11.766 the texts that I just read and I'm interested in it, so I want to be 00:27:11.766 --> 00:27:13.435 an active part of that conversation. 00:27:13.435 --> 00:27:15.287 And you know, suddenly I'm on the Dean's list. 00:27:15.737 --> 00:27:18.333 You know, with my lousy 2.1 from high school. 00:27:18.345 --> 00:27:21.015 And so I think that that was when, you know, like I started 00:27:21.015 --> 00:27:23.215 to realize I'm different. 00:27:23.283 --> 00:27:28.023 You know, but there are other ways to not just cope but thrive, you 00:27:28.023 --> 00:27:29.523 know, with, or without medication. 00:27:29.523 --> 00:27:33.903 But I mentioned at the start of this, that you were actually one of the 00:27:33.903 --> 00:27:37.613 people that made me have that same aha moment that you had with your book. 00:27:38.273 --> 00:27:43.943 You wrote a blog like at some point when I was in college, 00:27:44.011 --> 00:27:45.421 for the band. 00:27:45.661 --> 00:27:50.371 And talked about your struggles with ADD. 00:27:50.423 --> 00:27:53.800 And it was, it was definitely a light bulb moment because all of 00:27:53.800 --> 00:27:59.470 the different symptoms that you were describing were like things 00:27:59.470 --> 00:28:01.840 that I thought were wrong with me. 00:28:03.010 --> 00:28:05.860 I especially didn't know other women like me. 00:28:06.180 --> 00:28:11.700 My only frame of reference for add was the hyperactive boys who had nervous 00:28:11.700 --> 00:28:16.020 ticks and couldn't sit still and people blamed their sugar intake, you know? 00:28:16.290 --> 00:28:16.800 Matt: Yeah. 00:28:17.580 --> 00:28:21.510 Alison: And so I remember you writing that blog, and, and suddenly like it all 00:28:21.540 --> 00:28:26.430 clicking that it wasn't about, you know, the hyperactivity, but it was about the, 00:28:26.430 --> 00:28:29.370 like being distracted, being inattentive. 00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:32.080 Not being able to control your impulses. 00:28:32.109 --> 00:28:35.889 And, and, and so I, I didn't do anything with that information, I'm sorry to 00:28:35.889 --> 00:28:37.509 say, for another decade beyond that. 00:28:37.869 --> 00:28:40.239 Again, I just kind of tucked it down and pushed it away and 00:28:40.239 --> 00:28:41.979 figured this is the way that I am. 00:28:41.980 --> 00:28:46.212 And it really wasn't until I started a more focused therapy practice 00:28:46.212 --> 00:28:50.163 in my early thirties and began to address some other issues in my life 00:28:50.193 --> 00:28:52.003 that my therapist brought it up. 00:28:52.003 --> 00:28:55.638 And that, you know, had me talking to my doctor which, so it was. 00:28:55.698 --> 00:28:59.946 It was, I was probably around 34 when I got officially diagnosed. 00:29:00.009 --> 00:29:03.159 And then say, it's like, you know, okay, now I'm now I'm part of this community. 00:29:03.159 --> 00:29:06.969 And in the meantime, I think, you know, somewhere between my mid twenties and 00:29:06.969 --> 00:29:10.783 mid thirties I'm in my late thirties now for anybody listening to this. 00:29:10.846 --> 00:29:14.386 I, you know, I think that ADD and ADHD and whatever we want to call it became 00:29:14.416 --> 00:29:17.536 more talked about more publicized. 00:29:17.565 --> 00:29:21.518 You know, more people started to come forward and share memes about it. 00:29:21.518 --> 00:29:24.608 And once something goes to like meme state, like that's it, it's 00:29:24.608 --> 00:29:26.408 no longer a stigma, which is great. 00:29:26.618 --> 00:29:28.688 This is one of the upsides of social media. 00:29:28.688 --> 00:29:33.998 This is one of the reasons I will champion various platforms is that it does help you 00:29:34.298 --> 00:29:36.608 find and belong within your communities. 00:29:36.608 --> 00:29:42.218 And so watching friends of mine, who I would consider a successful by all counts, 00:29:42.428 --> 00:29:46.418 talk about their mental health or their ADHD struggles has been helpful for me. 00:29:46.688 --> 00:29:49.538 And then I've tried to pay that forward by being open and honest. 00:29:49.988 --> 00:29:50.828 I have nothing to hide. 00:29:50.828 --> 00:29:52.058 I have nothing to be ashamed of. 00:29:52.088 --> 00:29:57.038 It's just a part of who I am and to a similar, you know, a note that you made, 00:29:57.638 --> 00:30:00.728 like I've, I'm now happy that I have ADHD. 00:30:00.728 --> 00:30:03.768 It has led me to success because of my abilities. 00:30:03.798 --> 00:30:07.458 You know, it can be a super house, super power when harnessed correctly. 00:30:08.808 --> 00:30:09.348 Matt: Yeah. 00:30:09.370 --> 00:30:12.670 Along those lines of, of community and. 00:30:13.180 --> 00:30:13.450 I mean. 00:30:13.930 --> 00:30:15.820 Even after I was diagnosed. 00:30:15.907 --> 00:30:19.777 There are many times where I, I was like, well, maybe I don't believe in it. 00:30:20.047 --> 00:30:28.167 Because it has been, it has been a very touchy, touchy subject since I 00:30:28.167 --> 00:30:31.737 was little, since you were little, and then, you know, only now, as you 00:30:31.737 --> 00:30:34.617 said, it is coming to the forefront. 00:30:34.617 --> 00:30:37.047 It's been, I feel like it isn't. 00:30:37.647 --> 00:30:41.937 It, you know, it isn't used in an ablest way as much people 00:30:41.967 --> 00:30:43.677 don't talk about my ADHD. 00:30:43.727 --> 00:30:47.387 Because they realize, okay, well, this is actually a serious thing. 00:30:47.957 --> 00:30:51.887 I didn't necessarily feel comfortable calling it a disability until 00:30:52.757 --> 00:30:57.447 somewhat recently when I was involved in a disability community. 00:30:57.477 --> 00:30:58.377 My wife is deaf. 00:30:58.797 --> 00:31:04.590 And it was the the people with other disabilities that, that kept urging 00:31:04.590 --> 00:31:07.710 me to talk about ADHD as a disability. 00:31:08.340 --> 00:31:13.180 And if I were to create a mind map, which I often have to do just to get 00:31:13.180 --> 00:31:20.891 something out of my head, I could easily point to things where this disability has 00:31:21.431 --> 00:31:24.131 you know, affected my day to day life. 00:31:24.161 --> 00:31:26.231 Which is the definition of a disability. 00:31:26.261 --> 00:31:26.591 Right. 00:31:26.628 --> 00:31:32.038 So I'm, I'm on board with calling it that I, I, you know, I, I certainly, I do have, 00:31:32.158 --> 00:31:34.618 you know, full ability to hear things. 00:31:34.618 --> 00:31:37.058 So my disability is very different from my wife's. 00:31:37.778 --> 00:31:41.318 If you were to talk to her, she would say, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. 00:31:41.318 --> 00:31:42.268 He has a disability. 00:31:42.488 --> 00:31:43.268 He has a disability. 00:31:43.361 --> 00:31:48.581 And I think you're right, now more than ever is the time to talk about 00:31:48.581 --> 00:31:50.981 this because, you know, I am medicated. 00:31:51.097 --> 00:31:55.967 I have been on and off of it since 30, but I've been really trying to be super 00:31:55.967 --> 00:32:00.750 diligent and learn about medication for the last, you know, maybe five years. 00:32:00.750 --> 00:32:05.729 There's a, there is a ton of full-on ableism in the pharmaceutical 00:32:05.729 --> 00:32:08.219 world when it comes to this. 00:32:08.429 --> 00:32:13.860 And it's funny because you would never not give a deaf person a cochlear implant 00:32:13.860 --> 00:32:18.360 if they wanted one, but they, they try very hard not to give me Vyvanse. 00:32:18.460 --> 00:32:19.240 Really hard. 00:32:20.080 --> 00:32:23.840 So I would love to talk about some of those things coming up. 00:32:23.909 --> 00:32:27.519 You know, whether or not you feel comfortable identifying as this 00:32:27.519 --> 00:32:32.679 disorder as being a disability or not, that's not the important thing, but. 00:32:33.729 --> 00:32:34.659 I think you're right. 00:32:34.659 --> 00:32:38.439 The more people talk, the better it's going to be. 00:32:38.499 --> 00:32:40.209 The more comfortable people will be. 00:32:40.329 --> 00:32:44.786 Nothing you could ever say to me could mean more to me than the 00:32:44.786 --> 00:32:48.656 stories that you just told me, where I was honest about something. 00:32:49.196 --> 00:32:52.796 And that something is something that you heard. 00:32:53.486 --> 00:32:55.526 And then you went on a personal journey. 00:32:55.696 --> 00:33:01.096 That will make all those years, all that time in a rock and roll 00:33:01.096 --> 00:33:03.866 band be so worth it in my life. 00:33:04.076 --> 00:33:08.347 And so I'm hoping maybe even this podcast could be something 00:33:08.347 --> 00:33:09.311 similar for other people. 00:33:09.311 --> 00:33:12.191 It's funny when you mentioned that, I don't necessarily want to talk about 00:33:12.221 --> 00:33:19.420 that band too much, but one thing that I discovered the last time I was on tour is 00:33:19.420 --> 00:33:21.358 that there was a song that I had to learn. 00:33:21.387 --> 00:33:25.940 And it was a song that I wrote about a visit to Prague that 00:33:25.940 --> 00:33:27.710 I took with an ex-girlfriend. 00:33:28.370 --> 00:33:30.540 And I was learning these lyrics again and going. 00:33:30.990 --> 00:33:31.380 Whoa. 00:33:32.670 --> 00:33:35.330 I had ADHD and I wrote about it. 00:33:35.390 --> 00:33:39.440 I literally wrote about it and I did not know. 00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:42.260 Alison: I was sitting nexting next to you… you were writing out the 00:33:42.260 --> 00:33:47.025 lyrics at Footlight before that show and you look up at me in the 00:33:47.025 --> 00:33:49.155 middle of it and go, holy shit. 00:33:49.425 --> 00:33:54.795 I was writing about ADHD you know, however many years ago. 00:33:55.125 --> 00:33:57.975 I did I watched the light bulb go off in your eyes. 00:33:58.035 --> 00:33:59.055 Matt: I love that stuff. 00:33:59.085 --> 00:34:00.135 I love it so much. 00:34:00.137 --> 00:34:05.097 Our human ability to become more wise. 00:34:05.217 --> 00:34:07.342 That is one of the best ones for sure. 00:34:07.392 --> 00:34:11.902 So yeah, I look forward to having this podcast with you to share our 00:34:12.742 --> 00:34:14.962 wisdom and to learn new things. 00:34:15.002 --> 00:34:19.022 As much as we possibly can about all those things. 00:34:19.982 --> 00:34:20.312 Alison: Yeah. 00:34:20.372 --> 00:34:24.272 I'm obviously looking forward to talk to you about two of our subjects that 00:34:24.272 --> 00:34:25.862 we talk about together a lot anyways. 00:34:26.472 --> 00:34:29.322 But I hope it becomes a conversation, I want to hear from other people. 00:34:29.322 --> 00:34:30.532 I want you to chime in. 00:34:30.582 --> 00:34:32.112 I have hope for the future. 00:34:32.112 --> 00:34:34.799 I am a youth group adviser. 00:34:34.827 --> 00:34:37.353 So I have the privilege of working with with girls. 00:34:37.403 --> 00:34:39.973 And when I see the things that they post and the things that they 00:34:40.003 --> 00:34:43.183 just don't care about that I cared about so much as a high schooler. 00:34:43.603 --> 00:34:44.473 It gives me hope. 00:34:44.503 --> 00:34:47.833 And when I see people just kind of leaning into these stigmas and pushing 00:34:47.833 --> 00:34:50.743 on these boundaries, especially on social media, I'm excited to kind 00:34:50.743 --> 00:34:52.123 of get to be an active part of that. 00:34:52.158 --> 00:34:53.377 Hopefully with this conversation. 00:34:53.467 --> 00:34:59.807 And of course have another platform to talk about Dungeons & Dragons. 00:35:00.787 --> 00:35:01.147 Matt: Yeah. 00:35:01.387 --> 00:35:01.697 Yeah. 00:35:02.197 --> 00:35:04.687 Yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing how they actually do fit together, 00:35:04.717 --> 00:35:06.067 but I think they fit together a lot. 00:35:06.067 --> 00:35:06.757 I really do. 00:35:06.757 --> 00:35:07.267 Alison: They do. 00:35:07.373 --> 00:35:10.753 Matt: Well, how do you feel about our Session Zero so far Alison? 00:35:10.753 --> 00:35:11.583 Alison: I love it! 00:35:11.583 --> 00:35:12.503 We're doing so good. 00:35:12.683 --> 00:35:12.863 Matt: All right. 00:35:15.223 --> 00:35:17.783 Alison: I'll sit here and roll dice now. 00:35:17.873 --> 00:35:18.323 Matt: Okay. 00:35:18.443 --> 00:35:18.863 Great. 00:35:19.013 --> 00:35:21.663 Alison: I just rolled a natural 20, I think that was the Dice Gods 00:35:21.683 --> 00:35:23.193 telling us that we crushed it. 00:35:23.343 --> 00:35:28.203 Yay go us Session Zero, but also we've opened the door for future talks. 00:35:28.753 --> 00:35:33.263 Matt: And I second Alison, if anybody ever hears this and wants to write us. 00:35:33.803 --> 00:35:36.263 Maybe you should put a survey out for this, too. 00:35:36.353 --> 00:35:37.703 What kind of topics do you like? 00:35:38.213 --> 00:35:40.943 If they have something to do with ADD or D&D. 00:35:42.743 --> 00:35:46.203 Alison: I will go ahead and go on record and say we will welcome guests. 00:35:46.253 --> 00:35:49.193 If you want to come talk about your experience or just 00:35:49.193 --> 00:35:50.963 fire questions off at us. 00:35:50.975 --> 00:35:53.675 I think it's great that so many people are talking about this and 00:35:53.675 --> 00:35:54.995 we now get to be two more of them. 00:35:56.945 --> 00:36:00.096 Matt: Well, I think it's a really good place to be because it feels like the 00:36:00.096 --> 00:36:03.836 end of a podcast, and we still have five minutes left on the Time Timer. 00:36:04.346 --> 00:36:05.486 Those are my best days. 00:36:05.696 --> 00:36:07.016 Those are my best days. 00:36:08.276 --> 00:36:12.046 Alison: I do want you to make the Time Timer go off so everybody can hear it. 00:36:12.316 --> 00:36:13.126 The magic. 00:36:13.666 --> 00:36:17.176 I relax when I hear the Timer go off now, like, you know, I don't know if 00:36:17.176 --> 00:36:21.046 it's my, what is the, the bell, when the, you know, the dog expects a treat? 00:36:21.046 --> 00:36:21.676 What's that called? 00:36:21.744 --> 00:36:22.644 Matt: Yes. 00:36:23.394 --> 00:36:23.964 Pavlov. 00:36:24.504 --> 00:36:24.774 Alison: Great. 00:36:25.614 --> 00:36:26.394 There it is. 00:36:26.394 --> 00:36:27.024 Matt: There it is. 00:36:27.364 --> 00:36:27.754 Alison: That's it. 00:36:28.324 --> 00:36:29.164 That's the whole show. 00:36:29.164 --> 00:36:29.614 Matt: Okay. 00:36:30.334 --> 00:36:31.114 Until next time. 00:36:31.684 --> 00:36:32.344 Alison: Talk to you soon. 00:36:32.344 --> 00:36:32.824 Matt: Okay. 00:36:33.514 --> 00:36:33.685 Alison: Okay.