1 00:00:00,388 --> 00:00:04,170 Today's episode of the Dad Tired Podcast is brought to you by Samaritan Ministries. How 2 00:00:04,190 --> 00:00:07,312 are you feeling, man, about your family's healthcare needs? I know that is a 3 00:00:07,432 --> 00:00:10,593 thing that most of us as dads are constantly thinking about, or we have 4 00:00:10,633 --> 00:00:14,175 it in the back of our mind. It's one of the most important decisions we'll make as 5 00:00:14,235 --> 00:00:17,837 dads and as somebody who tries to lead our family. It's why we highly encourage 6 00:00:17,857 --> 00:00:21,379 you to consider Samaritan Ministries. It's a biblical, affordable way 7 00:00:21,419 --> 00:00:24,620 to pay your family's medical bills, and it has everything you should be 8 00:00:24,660 --> 00:00:28,263 looking for in a healthcare sharing ministry. Samaritan 9 00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:31,508 members glorify God above all else when they care for one another through 10 00:00:31,548 --> 00:00:34,913 prayer and encouragement. It's a way to align your healthcare with your 11 00:00:34,973 --> 00:00:38,558 faith and through direct member to member sharing, you'll always know 12 00:00:38,658 --> 00:00:41,763 who you're helping and who's helping you. Let me tell you how 13 00:00:41,803 --> 00:00:45,126 it works. There are no networks. So when a medical need arises, you 14 00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:48,408 choose the health care provider that's right for you. You have a 15 00:00:48,508 --> 00:00:51,689 say in the type of treatment that you receive. You can then send your 16 00:00:51,729 --> 00:00:54,851 medical bills to Samaritan Ministries. They'll notify fellow members to 17 00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:58,192 pray for you and then to send money directly to you to help 18 00:00:58,252 --> 00:01:01,695 pay for those bills. when another member has a medical need, 19 00:01:02,056 --> 00:01:05,299 you will do the same for them. If you are interested in 20 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:08,863 learning more about this biblical solution to healthcare and this amazing 21 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:12,387 community, you can go to SamaritanMinistries.org forward 22 00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:16,752 slash dad tired. Again, that's SamaritanMinistries.org forward 23 00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:23,157 slash dad tired. Have 24 00:01:23,177 --> 00:01:27,238 you ever been on vacation and maybe you're sitting at a hotel or 25 00:01:27,718 --> 00:01:31,919 you're at a resort or at the beach or somewhere just, you know, relaxing. Maybe 26 00:01:31,939 --> 00:01:35,300 you're watching your, I think about my vacation sometimes I'll like be sitting there 27 00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:38,540 and I'll watch my kids swimming and I'm sitting with 28 00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:42,021 my wife next to me. Maybe we're eating some food and you have a drink or, you 29 00:01:42,041 --> 00:01:45,542 know, you're just in a good spot mentally. I don't know if vacation is ever fully 30 00:01:45,582 --> 00:01:48,863 relaxing even as a dad. You're always 31 00:01:48,883 --> 00:01:52,005 kind of stressed. But you know, you're just in a good mental spot. You feel like you're 32 00:01:52,025 --> 00:01:55,589 in a good mental spot and you're sitting there and you're kind of just, you're 33 00:01:55,689 --> 00:01:59,053 numbed out for lack of better words. And you're just enjoying all the moments 34 00:01:59,093 --> 00:02:02,657 and you're fully relaxed. And then out of nowhere, you get some thought 35 00:02:03,137 --> 00:02:06,901 that just completely disrupts your mental, you know, stability, 36 00:02:06,962 --> 00:02:12,067 your mental, like, I'm trying to think of the word Zen. It 37 00:02:12,107 --> 00:02:15,771 just completely removes you out of that moment of feeling complete peace 38 00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:19,175 and relaxation. And maybe the thought is something about, 39 00:02:19,756 --> 00:02:23,160 I don't know, bills or maybe it's the realities of 40 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,623 work or getting back home or friction in your relationship with 41 00:02:26,664 --> 00:02:29,986 your spouse. or sin in your life, or 42 00:02:30,006 --> 00:02:33,368 there's just something that just kind of comes out of nowhere and 43 00:02:33,608 --> 00:02:37,049 completely disrupts your peace in that moment. I've had that happen. I'm 44 00:02:37,109 --> 00:02:40,411 imagining there are many of you who can relate to that. I 45 00:02:40,431 --> 00:02:43,673 want to spend the next few weeks talking about what does it look like for a 46 00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:46,974 man to have healthy traits, to be a 47 00:02:47,054 --> 00:02:50,336 healthy man holistically? Like what are some traits of 48 00:02:50,376 --> 00:02:53,557 a holistically healthy Christian man who's trying to 49 00:02:53,637 --> 00:02:56,828 lead his family well? And so I want to spend the next few weeks kind of 50 00:02:56,848 --> 00:03:00,371 tackling some ones that come to mind. This is not an exhaustive list 51 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:03,654 by any means. Clearly there are 52 00:03:04,114 --> 00:03:07,898 all kinds of things that would make a man healthy and there are all kinds of nuances. 53 00:03:07,998 --> 00:03:11,280 But when I'm just generally thinking about what does it look like to be a 54 00:03:11,421 --> 00:03:15,184 healthy man? These are some things that have come to mind from experience, 55 00:03:15,204 --> 00:03:18,346 from working with guys, from my own personal life. and just 56 00:03:18,386 --> 00:03:21,949 trying to figure out what does it mean for us practically to be healthy 57 00:03:22,709 --> 00:03:26,171 men. Last week we talked about discipleship and our churches talk 58 00:03:26,191 --> 00:03:29,454 about discipleship. We talk about that in the church world a lot. Like 59 00:03:29,474 --> 00:03:33,696 what does it mean to be a disciple of Jesus? And we use these terms kind of vaguely. 60 00:03:33,917 --> 00:03:37,279 And so I try to put some specifics, language, some 61 00:03:37,319 --> 00:03:40,401 specific language to what does it mean to actually be a disciple? How do 62 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,943 you know where you're at on your discipleship journey? And how 63 00:03:43,963 --> 00:03:47,246 do you grow? Like how do you define it and all that stuff? And so 64 00:03:47,786 --> 00:03:51,830 oftentimes on the Dad Tired podcast, we will talk about being healthy men. I 65 00:03:51,870 --> 00:03:55,093 also want to give some like concrete examples and 66 00:03:55,213 --> 00:03:58,816 terminology to what it looks like to be a healthy man. Like, how do you know you're 67 00:03:58,836 --> 00:04:02,231 a healthy man? What does that actually mean? I want to tackle some 68 00:04:02,272 --> 00:04:05,433 of those qualities that a healthy man has. I'd 69 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,954 love to hear some of your thoughts either in the comments here on YouTube or 70 00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:12,996 in our private community. We have a totally free online community. You can go 71 00:04:13,016 --> 00:04:16,297 to connect.dadtyre.com and just share some 72 00:04:16,317 --> 00:04:19,439 things from your experience and what you've seen. What does it look like to 73 00:04:19,479 --> 00:04:22,802 be a healthy man? Today I want to tackle the qualities of 74 00:04:22,942 --> 00:04:27,007 silence and sleep. These are kind of foundational qualities 75 00:04:27,047 --> 00:04:30,331 that I think I'm convinced you need in order to be 76 00:04:30,351 --> 00:04:34,096 a healthy man. There's this verse in Psalm 62 verse 77 00:04:34,156 --> 00:04:39,842 1 and 2 says, Truly, 78 00:04:39,902 --> 00:04:43,444 He is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress. I 79 00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:47,065 will never be shaken. The psalmist writes 80 00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:50,267 there that there's this deep sense of peace that even if 81 00:04:50,327 --> 00:04:53,648 things, you get the idea that even if things around him kind 82 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:56,930 of go away or sideways, that he will 83 00:04:56,990 --> 00:05:00,132 not be shaken because he finds his peace in Christ. I think there's a 84 00:05:00,192 --> 00:05:03,275 lot of dudes, man, I relate to this so deeply. There's a lot of 85 00:05:03,295 --> 00:05:06,557 guys who maybe your job is fine or not 86 00:05:06,637 --> 00:05:10,300 fine. Maybe you think about your marriage, your bills, 87 00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:15,104 finances, your future, your family, your kids. And 88 00:05:15,144 --> 00:05:18,447 when you think about all of that, you kind of zoom out and you kind of look at the whole 89 00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:22,169 context of your life. It doesn't actually bring peace. 90 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:27,033 And so for many of us, we are scrambling to 91 00:05:27,154 --> 00:05:30,396 find peace in our souls. And maybe you don't even know that's what you're doing. 92 00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:33,579 Yesterday, I was sitting at the kitchen counter with my 93 00:05:33,659 --> 00:05:37,142 son, and I was telling him, he's 94 00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:40,424 really into playing these games with his friends online, which, dude, 95 00:05:40,484 --> 00:05:43,947 as I have a 12-year-old son, it's really hard. I'm trying to navigate this 96 00:05:44,027 --> 00:05:47,210 world and technology and games and all this stuff. But all his friends like 97 00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:50,552 to play these games. We're letting him have some time to play 98 00:05:50,592 --> 00:05:54,193 these games with his friends. Anyway, that's not the point of this podcast, but 99 00:05:54,673 --> 00:05:57,894 he wants like a cool gaming setup. So all his friends like 100 00:05:57,914 --> 00:06:01,275 have, you know, these monitors and keyboards and mouse 101 00:06:01,315 --> 00:06:04,495 pads and all this dumb stuff. I have so many thoughts about it. 102 00:06:04,555 --> 00:06:07,816 I'm not a gamer. I don't like video games. I have so many thoughts on 103 00:06:07,856 --> 00:06:11,458 it. Most of them are not good. Anyway, my 104 00:06:11,498 --> 00:06:14,602 son has kind of an entrepreneurial spirit. He'll go out and 105 00:06:14,882 --> 00:06:18,407 he'll just go hit the neighborhood and knock cold call or 106 00:06:18,487 --> 00:06:21,791 cold knock on everybody's door and just start washing cars to make money or whatever. 107 00:06:22,442 --> 00:06:25,805 And I was telling him, like, son, there's a lot of qualities in your own life that 108 00:06:26,305 --> 00:06:29,567 you got from me. Some of them are really great, I think. 109 00:06:29,688 --> 00:06:32,730 I think God gave me qualities that I've passed down to you that I 110 00:06:32,770 --> 00:06:36,913 think are going to be helpful for you in life. And I said, there are other qualities in 111 00:06:36,973 --> 00:06:40,255 you that I gave you that I think are actually going to really 112 00:06:40,315 --> 00:06:43,598 be hurtful to you. And I'll process those with you and help you try to figure those out. 113 00:06:43,618 --> 00:06:46,740 But I think there are some very real things that I see in you that I 114 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,622 also have. that I'm convinced might cause 115 00:06:50,642 --> 00:06:53,844 you to be tripped up or will hurt you in some ways 116 00:06:53,904 --> 00:06:57,285 in life. So anyway, he's sitting there on the kitchen counter and he's going 117 00:06:57,305 --> 00:07:00,847 through all these things that he wants for his gaming 118 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:04,148 setup. And so he's telling me, he's showing me on Amazon, look 119 00:07:04,168 --> 00:07:07,410 at this keyboard, look at this keyboard, look at this keyboard. And I told him, I said, dude, 120 00:07:07,890 --> 00:07:11,171 there's nothing wrong with your current setup. Tell me how, if 121 00:07:11,191 --> 00:07:14,633 you got that particular keyboard, it's gonna make your life any 122 00:07:14,693 --> 00:07:17,815 better. And he's like, you know, it won't. I don't think it's going 123 00:07:17,835 --> 00:07:20,977 to make my life better. I just really want it. And I said, son, I know that 124 00:07:21,038 --> 00:07:24,100 feeling. I know that feeling of what it's like to see, like, I 125 00:07:24,140 --> 00:07:27,343 want this and I'm convinced if I got this thing, my 126 00:07:27,383 --> 00:07:31,246 life will feel better or I'll be a little bit more satisfied or 127 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:34,608 complete. And I said, The reality is you'll get 128 00:07:34,668 --> 00:07:38,310 that and your soul won't feel any more satisfied. It 129 00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:41,611 won't feel any more rested. And I know that feeling because I've done it 130 00:07:41,851 --> 00:07:45,273 a million times in my life. I've convinced myself that there was someone or 131 00:07:45,313 --> 00:07:48,635 something or some number in a bank account or whatever it is, that 132 00:07:48,675 --> 00:07:52,117 if I had it, finally, I would feel rest 133 00:07:52,157 --> 00:07:56,079 in my soul. Now, most of the time, 99% of the time, I 134 00:07:56,099 --> 00:07:59,360 am never articulating that so clearly. It's these 135 00:07:59,501 --> 00:08:02,904 subconscious pools in my spirit that really 136 00:08:03,464 --> 00:08:06,687 lead me to the idea that if I had something, my soul would be satisfied. Again, 137 00:08:06,727 --> 00:08:10,050 I'm not saying those words, but my actions are 138 00:08:10,530 --> 00:08:13,853 living that out, that principle out, that something in my soul is 139 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:17,116 not at peace and it's longing to find peace. Now, my son is 140 00:08:17,136 --> 00:08:20,460 looking at video gaming. keyboards. As a 141 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:24,003 12 year old, he's not going to say, my soul doesn't feel rested. And 142 00:08:24,063 --> 00:08:27,307 so let me try to find some gaming keyboard that would make my soul feel 143 00:08:27,367 --> 00:08:30,891 rested. He's certainly not putting that kind of language to it. But 144 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:34,294 I was trying to help him tie those dots that I'd say, I wonder if 145 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:37,838 there's something subconsciously in you, something deep within you that is convinced that 146 00:08:37,878 --> 00:08:41,442 if you have something, your soul will feel a little bit more satisfied. 147 00:08:42,166 --> 00:08:45,267 And I think there are a lot of guys, the reason I'm telling you that, I think there are a lot of 148 00:08:45,287 --> 00:08:48,608 guys like that. Like you may be, look at your life kind 149 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:52,189 of from, like I said, zoom out and look from afar, and 150 00:08:52,249 --> 00:08:55,510 you may not know the reason you're doing the things you're 151 00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:59,111 doing. But I wonder if for many of us, we can't relate 152 00:08:59,151 --> 00:09:02,792 to that psalmist in Psalm 62, my soul, or he 153 00:09:02,832 --> 00:09:06,413 says, listen to what he said, truly my soul finds rest 154 00:09:06,573 --> 00:09:10,748 in God. And I guess for you, what would it look like if you confessed 155 00:09:10,868 --> 00:09:14,250 that and really believed it, that truly your soul 156 00:09:14,770 --> 00:09:17,931 would find rest in God? How would your life be different? How would 157 00:09:17,951 --> 00:09:21,120 it change? How would your behavior change? And I guess 158 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,501 if you look at some of the patterns of your life right now, I 159 00:09:24,541 --> 00:09:27,721 wonder if you could ask yourself the question, how many of these patterns or 160 00:09:27,761 --> 00:09:31,462 these behaviors or the things that I'm doing is a direct result 161 00:09:31,522 --> 00:09:35,043 of my soul not feeling rest? Kind of like sitting on 162 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:39,363 that resort or that beach or whatever, and there's just something, regardless 163 00:09:39,443 --> 00:09:43,044 of how nice things are or appear to be, there's 164 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:46,345 something in you that's not truly at rest. I think there 165 00:09:46,365 --> 00:09:50,046 are a lot of men a lot of men whose 166 00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:53,307 souls are not really at rest and 167 00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:57,068 you are striving at work or in a hobby or 168 00:09:57,148 --> 00:10:00,549 in some kind of addiction or I mean it can be healthy 169 00:10:00,849 --> 00:10:04,070 quote-unquote healthy ways or unhealthy ways maybe it's just like 170 00:10:04,110 --> 00:10:07,491 you you're a workaholic and everyone admires you because you're a really hard 171 00:10:07,551 --> 00:10:11,132 worker but something in you you're actually driven by your 172 00:10:11,172 --> 00:10:15,193 soul isn't satisfied it's not finding rest in the Lord And 173 00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:18,895 so I think a healthy man is one who 174 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,296 actually has a deep sense of peace. His 175 00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:25,598 soul is well rested. And like 176 00:10:25,618 --> 00:10:29,140 the psalmist says, he will never be shaken, like regardless of a 177 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,581 political year or a job situation or even 178 00:10:32,601 --> 00:10:35,743 a marriage situation or relational situation, what 179 00:10:35,783 --> 00:10:39,324 your kids do or don't do, how they behave or don't behave, regardless 180 00:10:39,384 --> 00:10:42,926 of all the things happening around you, your soul is anchored 181 00:10:43,346 --> 00:10:46,648 and it truly finds rest. That's the 182 00:10:46,788 --> 00:10:50,089 marker or a key marker of a healthy man. And 183 00:10:50,169 --> 00:10:53,670 we have met these men sometimes, but in the midst of chaos, 184 00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:57,051 whatever the chaos may be, again, whether that's relational or in the world 185 00:10:57,371 --> 00:11:00,793 or whatever, their soul just seems like they have a deep sense 186 00:11:00,913 --> 00:11:04,694 of rest. There's this guy named Blaise Pascal. 187 00:11:05,154 --> 00:11:08,795 He was a 17th century French philosopher and mathematician. 188 00:11:08,815 --> 00:11:12,937 He has this quote that says, all of humanity's problems stem 189 00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:16,958 from man's inability to sit quietly in 190 00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:20,359 a room alone. Let me say that to you again. All 191 00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:24,220 of humanity's problems stem from man's inability 192 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,582 to sit quietly in a room alone. Think 193 00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:32,237 about that for a second. Can I put you in 194 00:11:32,277 --> 00:11:35,519 a room by yourself? And if I did, how 195 00:11:35,539 --> 00:11:39,121 would you respond? Blaise Pascal, the 17th 196 00:11:39,441 --> 00:11:42,803 century French philosopher and mathematician would say, all 197 00:11:42,823 --> 00:11:46,024 of our problems, all of your problems in life are stemming from now. 198 00:11:46,064 --> 00:11:49,666 I don't know if I completely agree with that from a theological perspective, but 199 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:53,969 I think there is a bunch of truth buried in that statement. That 200 00:11:54,149 --> 00:11:57,310 if I sat you in a room alone, how would you do? What would 201 00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:00,592 come to mind? Would you be able to handle what would come to mind? I guess the question that it begs 202 00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:04,674 itself is why? Why can't a man sit quietly in 203 00:12:04,694 --> 00:12:07,896 a room alone with his own thoughts? And I think the 204 00:12:07,956 --> 00:12:11,478 reason is, maybe, potentially, has to 205 00:12:11,518 --> 00:12:14,699 do with what St. Augustine said, which is, you have made us 206 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:19,462 for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until 207 00:12:19,502 --> 00:12:22,804 it finds rest in you. And I wonder if we can't 208 00:12:22,864 --> 00:12:26,086 sit in a room alone because our hearts would be restless. It 209 00:12:26,126 --> 00:12:29,409 would bring up for us, it would cause us to be face to 210 00:12:29,469 --> 00:12:33,372 face with our own desires, our own anxieties, 211 00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:37,015 our own longing for something else that is not 212 00:12:37,075 --> 00:12:41,738 satisfying our soul, our own sin and shortcomings. And 213 00:12:41,858 --> 00:12:45,159 I wonder what it would look like to be a man who could actually 214 00:12:45,339 --> 00:12:48,740 sit quietly in a room alone with your own thoughts. 215 00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:52,822 Let whatever wants to come up, come up. I guess I 216 00:12:52,842 --> 00:12:56,203 just am wondering how much more healthy of a man 217 00:12:56,263 --> 00:12:59,644 would we be? How many of the problems that we're currently facing would go away if 218 00:12:59,684 --> 00:13:03,225 we could be a man who regularly did that and wasn't afraid 219 00:13:03,285 --> 00:13:06,406 to sit in silence because we weren't afraid of the things that were 220 00:13:06,426 --> 00:13:09,988 going to pop up. You're already taking the time to listen to this podcast, which 221 00:13:10,109 --> 00:13:13,531 I greatly appreciate, man. I know that there's a million things you could be listening 222 00:13:13,571 --> 00:13:16,993 to and doing right now. So the fact that you're here, I 223 00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:20,290 just really don't take that lightly. I'm really grateful. But because you're 224 00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:23,633 here, you've already allocated some time to think about this kind 225 00:13:23,673 --> 00:13:27,015 of stuff. I figured we would just use our time to practice. So I'm 226 00:13:27,035 --> 00:13:30,737 not going to make things weird. At least that's not my goal. But 227 00:13:30,797 --> 00:13:33,960 I just thought, dude, for one minute, for one minute, what would 228 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:37,402 it be like for you just to sit quietly? You might be driving 229 00:13:37,422 --> 00:13:41,384 your car right now or listening at work or mowing a lawn. Maybe 230 00:13:41,405 --> 00:13:44,527 you're walking around the house or around your neighborhood. But what would it 231 00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:48,449 look like for you right now just to sit quietly for one minute? And 232 00:13:48,569 --> 00:13:51,852 ask yourself before you do that, and I'll 233 00:13:52,192 --> 00:13:55,895 jump in here with you, but let's just ask God, Lord, 234 00:13:55,915 --> 00:13:59,458 would you reveal in us the things that we've been trying to push down? 235 00:14:00,218 --> 00:14:04,221 Are there things in us? Show me my heart, Lord. And 236 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,404 if there's any wicked ways in me, show it to me, reveal it to me. 237 00:14:07,604 --> 00:14:11,327 If there's something that I've been pushing down, some kind of fear or anxiety 238 00:14:11,547 --> 00:14:14,689 or sin that needs to be confessed, the things that 239 00:14:14,709 --> 00:14:18,032 I'm longing for that are not of you, whatever it is, God, that's outside of 240 00:14:18,072 --> 00:14:21,174 you, that's displeasing to you, would you just bring it 241 00:14:21,214 --> 00:14:24,396 to my mind right now? And then we'll just let the 242 00:14:24,436 --> 00:14:27,598 Spirit do what the Spirit of God wants to do in the midst of that. So let's 243 00:14:27,618 --> 00:14:30,840 just be quiet for one minute. I know that's so awkward, like 244 00:14:30,901 --> 00:14:35,123 on a podcast, but let's just be quiet for one minute after 245 00:14:35,163 --> 00:14:38,366 we ask God to reveal in us what's going on deep in 246 00:14:38,406 --> 00:15:37,321 our souls. Hopefully 247 00:15:37,381 --> 00:15:40,484 something came to mind. If you're like me, even just, I was trying to 248 00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:44,908 practice that with you. The first thing that came to mind was distractions, all 249 00:15:44,948 --> 00:15:48,071 the things that were fighting for the attention of my head space in 250 00:15:48,111 --> 00:15:51,894 that moment. And then some stuff popped up toward 251 00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:55,277 the end of that minute that kind of, I think my soul 252 00:15:55,297 --> 00:15:58,949 had would probably live to be pushed out. I 253 00:15:58,989 --> 00:16:02,150 think it's good for us as men, if we want to be healthy men, I think it's good for 254 00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:06,312 us to practice these deep and long moments of silence, to 255 00:16:06,412 --> 00:16:10,253 face our own junk and wickedness, our own, the 256 00:16:10,293 --> 00:16:14,335 things that we're prone to chase after in our brains. the 257 00:16:14,395 --> 00:16:17,617 fears that we have, the anxieties that we have about our future, about our 258 00:16:17,657 --> 00:16:21,339 relationships, about work, finances, all this stuff, for 259 00:16:21,399 --> 00:16:24,640 the sake of being a healthy man who's at peace. So that we can say, as 260 00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:28,682 the psalmist said, truly my soul finds rest in God. My salvation comes 261 00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:32,364 from Him. He is the rock. and my salvation, my fortress, the 262 00:16:32,404 --> 00:16:35,687 protection, my safe space in the midst of 263 00:16:35,767 --> 00:16:39,630 the chaotic, which dude, we all have chaos. If 264 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:43,193 you're married, you have chaos. If you have kids, you have chaos. If you have a job, you 265 00:16:43,213 --> 00:16:47,096 have chaos. If you're living in the world, you have chaos all 266 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:51,119 around you. All of those things individually are chaotic. And 267 00:16:51,139 --> 00:16:54,721 then you add them all up and things are like super chaotic. And so we 268 00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:58,403 need safe spaces. And I don't mean that like in a hippy dippy, I 269 00:16:58,443 --> 00:17:01,764 just need my safe space. I mean like, I need my soul to 270 00:17:02,165 --> 00:17:06,327 be anchored somewhere where it's not gonna get tossed around. And 271 00:17:06,427 --> 00:17:09,729 so God is saying, I think in the scriptures, I will be your resting 272 00:17:09,769 --> 00:17:13,671 place. I will be the one that will give your soul rest. Jesus 273 00:17:13,711 --> 00:17:16,912 said that truly, come to me all you who are weary and 274 00:17:16,972 --> 00:17:20,335 I will give you rest. And so we need this as 275 00:17:20,455 --> 00:17:23,578 men who want to be healthy. We need a space in our 276 00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:27,321 souls that will find rest and peace. Fortress 277 00:17:27,782 --> 00:17:31,165 that cannot be shaken. And so if we want to be healthy men, I think healthy 278 00:17:31,225 --> 00:17:34,548 men are men who are well rested in their 279 00:17:34,748 --> 00:17:38,251 souls. Does your soul have rest? 280 00:17:39,112 --> 00:17:43,156 If there was something that popped up in your mind that is giving your soul unrest, confess 281 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:46,980 it. Confess it to God. If you've got a group of buddies, confess 282 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,243 it to them. Maybe even, this is hopefully helpful for you 283 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:53,486 if you have a small group, but maybe just like tell your buddies like, 284 00:17:53,646 --> 00:17:56,950 man, I'm trying to practice quiet and solitude. I 285 00:17:56,970 --> 00:18:00,213 want to be a man who can sit alone in a quiet room with 286 00:18:00,273 --> 00:18:03,436 my own thoughts. And when I do though, this is the thing that 287 00:18:03,476 --> 00:18:06,619 keeps popping up. And so I just want to confess that to you. I want to get it out 288 00:18:06,639 --> 00:18:10,091 of the darkness of my brain and I want to confess it to you. Start by 289 00:18:10,152 --> 00:18:13,454 confessing to God, confess to some brothers, but let's get the things 290 00:18:13,514 --> 00:18:16,836 out of the darkness. Because dude, what would it be like to 291 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:20,719 be a man who faces all that stuff in your head constantly? To 292 00:18:20,779 --> 00:18:24,161 get it out there, to confess to God, to not suppress it with social 293 00:18:24,241 --> 00:18:28,844 media, with porn, with a drink, more alcohol. TV, 294 00:18:28,965 --> 00:18:32,867 news, Twitter, whatever the thing is, more work, the 295 00:18:32,927 --> 00:18:37,089 football, fantasy football, all the things that you're just trying to suppress. I 296 00:18:37,109 --> 00:18:40,291 just really don't want to deal with that. I don't want to deal with the silence. I don't want to deal with the sense. What 297 00:18:40,311 --> 00:18:43,513 if you took all of that numbing stuff away and 298 00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:47,255 you just sat in the silence constantly, like daily for 299 00:18:47,595 --> 00:18:50,837 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes a day, and 300 00:18:50,857 --> 00:18:53,999 you just sat there and you dealt with it. Then when the stuff of 301 00:18:54,039 --> 00:18:57,544 the world hits the fan, in your relationships, in 302 00:18:57,564 --> 00:19:00,948 your marriage, in your parenting, in that work, that's 303 00:19:01,028 --> 00:19:04,352 territory you've already been to. You've already been there in your head. You've already 304 00:19:04,672 --> 00:19:07,836 worked that out with the Holy Spirit and with the Lord. You've confessed that to 305 00:19:07,876 --> 00:19:12,200 God. You've worked that out with some buddies. You're like constantly practicing 306 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,421 just being silent and not being afraid of whatever the Spirit of God wants 307 00:19:15,461 --> 00:19:18,643 to bring up, you let him bring up daily and 308 00:19:18,683 --> 00:19:22,024 then now you get into the real world with all the situations and 309 00:19:22,044 --> 00:19:25,265 you can have these hard conversations. You can face the 310 00:19:25,305 --> 00:19:28,526 boss, you can have a hard conversation with your wife and 311 00:19:28,586 --> 00:19:31,907 you're more patient with your kids. This is a guy who has found 312 00:19:32,007 --> 00:19:35,909 fortress, who has found salvation, whose soul found rest 313 00:19:36,129 --> 00:19:39,470 in God because he's able to sit in his own thoughts. He's 314 00:19:39,510 --> 00:19:42,731 not always trying to numb out because a guy who always numbs out when 315 00:19:42,811 --> 00:19:46,072 stuff hits the fan freaks out. And he's a guy that like can't 316 00:19:46,092 --> 00:19:49,474 handle it because he's never, he hasn't been there in his own mind. And now I'm certainly not 317 00:19:49,554 --> 00:19:52,715 able to deal this publicly with you, my wife, with you, my 318 00:19:52,755 --> 00:19:55,876 kids, with you, my friends. Like I'm not able to deal with any of this stuff because I 319 00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:59,177 haven't even worked it out in my own soul versus a healthy man 320 00:19:59,217 --> 00:20:02,418 who has dealt with all this stuff in his own soul. And dude, now when 321 00:20:02,438 --> 00:20:05,620 you talk about it, it's like, yeah, I've been, I've been here before. Hey guys, before we 322 00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:08,842 continue our conversation about what it looks like to be a healthy man who is 323 00:20:08,882 --> 00:20:12,004 well-rested, I want to tell you about a really exciting opportunity. 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I've dedicated a 333 00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:45,780 small amount of time to work one-on-one with students where I 334 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:49,181 can help them personally. I'll message you, we'll do one-on-one coaching 335 00:20:49,201 --> 00:20:53,122 calls. You will have personal access to me where I can help you launch 336 00:20:53,162 --> 00:20:56,423 your podcast and see it grow. And again, if it makes sense for you, get 337 00:20:56,503 --> 00:21:01,687 monetized. You can go to podtofinish, that's P-O-D-T-O, P-O-D-T-O, 338 00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:04,970 podtofinish.com and sign up 339 00:21:05,050 --> 00:21:08,693 for that. If you use the promo code podcast30, you'll 340 00:21:08,733 --> 00:21:12,036 take 30% off of the program. I only 341 00:21:12,076 --> 00:21:15,379 give that... that discount code specifically to 342 00:21:15,719 --> 00:21:18,981 podcast listeners. So that's just for you. Don't pass that around. That's just for you 343 00:21:19,041 --> 00:21:22,503 as a podcast listener. I already know that you are committed to 344 00:21:22,523 --> 00:21:25,625 the dietary community. And so I just wanted to help you out a 345 00:21:25,645 --> 00:21:28,808 little bit by giving you that 30% discount. But anyway, I'd love to 346 00:21:28,848 --> 00:21:32,750 help you one-on-one, launch your own podcast, go to podtofinish.com and 347 00:21:32,770 --> 00:21:36,985 you can get started today. I've been here mentally, spiritually 348 00:21:37,105 --> 00:21:40,249 before. I've had these conversations with myself. I've dealt with 349 00:21:40,289 --> 00:21:43,713 the stuff. I haven't numbed it out. I'm a healthy man who's dealt 350 00:21:43,733 --> 00:21:46,897 with the silence, who sat quietly in my own thoughts. I've 351 00:21:47,077 --> 00:21:50,321 wrestled with the Lord in the quiet places, and here I 352 00:21:50,421 --> 00:21:54,065 am. I'm ready to deal with whatever the world wants to throw at 353 00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:57,968 me. as kind of a PS as we wrap up this part 354 00:21:58,529 --> 00:22:01,971 of our conversation today. This is one of the things, my son is 12. He's 355 00:22:02,011 --> 00:22:05,854 about to turn 13 in four months. As he turns 13, I 356 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:09,297 will be starting a years-long process of 357 00:22:09,357 --> 00:22:12,659 a rite of passage. He knows this. We've been talking about this for years. As 358 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,163 he enters 13, he is now taking his first steps onto 359 00:22:16,203 --> 00:22:19,467 the bridge of manhood, meaning the rite of passage is the bridge that 360 00:22:19,527 --> 00:22:22,811 he will go over. And by the time he gets to the other end 361 00:22:22,831 --> 00:22:26,094 of that bridge, he will be confident. I am a man. I know what 362 00:22:26,114 --> 00:22:29,338 it takes to be a man. I can clearly define what a man is. And 363 00:22:29,378 --> 00:22:32,701 I am a man. I'm going out into the world. I'm being sent off. from my 364 00:22:32,782 --> 00:22:36,645 family to represent my personal family and the family of God into 365 00:22:36,685 --> 00:22:39,847 the world. And I know what that means. I know who I am. So this 366 00:22:39,867 --> 00:22:43,130 is, he's about to start this rite of passage process. And 367 00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:47,093 one of the things I've already talked to him about this. One of the things that we will practice as 368 00:22:47,274 --> 00:22:50,797 men, as he's starting his journey is sitting in silence. And 369 00:22:50,817 --> 00:22:54,319 I told him, dude, you never sit in silence. You don't know what it's like to, you got screens 370 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,662 and TV and YouTube and games and friends, and you have so much 371 00:22:57,722 --> 00:23:01,285 going on, but we're going to practice just being able to sit as 372 00:23:01,325 --> 00:23:04,546 a man with your own thoughts. Wrestle through some 373 00:23:04,626 --> 00:23:07,907 stuff. Have some thoughts on what you think about your life, about 374 00:23:07,947 --> 00:23:11,028 your sin, about the world, about your friends. You know, be able to 375 00:23:11,068 --> 00:23:14,449 be a man who sits in the quiet places because that's so much 376 00:23:14,489 --> 00:23:17,569 of where the work, the soul work is done in the 377 00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:21,030 quiet places. And if you are not sitting in quiet places, 378 00:23:21,070 --> 00:23:24,132 dude, you're not doing soul work. And so this is 379 00:23:24,152 --> 00:23:27,396 something that I'm going to start in short like 10 minute increments and we will work 380 00:23:27,496 --> 00:23:31,200 up until the point where he crosses over into 381 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,604 manhood where he will go into long, I haven't decided what it is, what 382 00:23:34,624 --> 00:23:38,748 the time period is, but it will be a long stint of silence where 383 00:23:38,788 --> 00:23:42,672 he knows how to sit in his own thoughts. And so that's my encouragement to you. as 384 00:23:42,732 --> 00:23:46,054 a man is to think through how can you 385 00:23:46,174 --> 00:23:50,096 sit in silence as a man, to wrestle with your own stuff, to 386 00:23:50,176 --> 00:23:53,638 wage war against your soul and all 387 00:23:53,718 --> 00:23:56,820 the demons and all the principalities and all the things that are going on, 388 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,222 all the flesh, everything that's going to pull you away from Jesus. How 389 00:24:00,242 --> 00:24:03,344 can you just sit in it, man, not run through it? If 390 00:24:03,844 --> 00:24:08,426 the path to peace is silence, you 391 00:24:08,466 --> 00:24:11,670 have to walk through it. I know I'm going 392 00:24:11,710 --> 00:24:15,075 on a little bit ADD. One of my two-year-olds like favorite song right now 393 00:24:15,095 --> 00:24:18,420 is going on a bear hunt, going on a bear hunt. It's a terribly 394 00:24:18,460 --> 00:24:21,644 annoying song, but one of the lines that you can't, they come up to some 395 00:24:21,684 --> 00:24:24,808 body of water. We can't go over it. We can't go around it. We 396 00:24:24,828 --> 00:24:28,510 can't go under it, we gotta go through it. And the path to 397 00:24:29,070 --> 00:24:32,211 peace is silence. I 398 00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:35,413 truly believe that. It's silence, it's solitude, it's being able to 399 00:24:35,513 --> 00:24:39,495 sit in your own thoughts. I think this is one of the very biggest 400 00:24:39,735 --> 00:24:42,876 lost things in our culture is to be able to sit in silence and 401 00:24:43,016 --> 00:24:46,098 solitude, to deal with what's going on in our soul and 402 00:24:46,158 --> 00:24:49,539 not numb it. And you can't go around it, you 403 00:24:49,559 --> 00:24:53,200 can't go over it. You want peace, there's no shortcuts. If 404 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,622 you want peace, you gotta sit in silence. You gotta learn 405 00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:59,823 to deal with what's going on deep within your soul, so that when you 406 00:24:59,843 --> 00:25:03,084 get into the real world, you come out as a man of 407 00:25:03,144 --> 00:25:06,725 peace, who's not shaken, who stands on the rock in 408 00:25:06,765 --> 00:25:11,276 salvation. He has a fortress for his soul. That's 409 00:25:11,296 --> 00:25:15,059 where I want to start with us as men is to be men who 410 00:25:15,179 --> 00:25:18,322 are able to sit in silence. I want to talk about sleep as 411 00:25:18,342 --> 00:25:21,524 we just wrap up. I just want to spend like, you know, five minutes talking about 412 00:25:21,564 --> 00:25:24,947 sleep real quick. But before we do want to share a really cool opportunity with 413 00:25:24,967 --> 00:25:47,677 you. All 414 00:25:47,697 --> 00:25:51,059 right, let's just wrap up our time together by talking about sleep, like 415 00:25:51,199 --> 00:25:54,500 physical rest for your soul. And you might be thinking like, dude, how 416 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,962 is this helping me as a spiritual leader of my home at all? God 417 00:25:58,002 --> 00:26:01,544 cares about rest. He talks about rest in the very first pages of scripture. On 418 00:26:01,584 --> 00:26:05,085 the seventh day, God rested. God wasn't like tired. And 419 00:26:05,125 --> 00:26:08,447 yet there was this sitting in the work that he had done. 420 00:26:08,487 --> 00:26:11,668 And then he tells us, he tells his people to be 421 00:26:11,708 --> 00:26:15,030 people who rest. to take that commandment seriously, to not, 422 00:26:15,170 --> 00:26:18,472 again, it's not just always that we're tired, it's just sitting in the work that God's 423 00:26:18,513 --> 00:26:21,755 already done. One time we were Sabbathing as a family and 424 00:26:21,775 --> 00:26:24,936 my son asked me, how will we get any money to take care of, if we don't 425 00:26:24,977 --> 00:26:28,158 work, if Daddy, if you don't work today, how will we get any money to make 426 00:26:28,178 --> 00:26:31,601 sure we have food and a place to our house, keep our house? And 427 00:26:31,641 --> 00:26:35,463 I said, we rest to let us remember that God is our provider. We're 428 00:26:35,603 --> 00:26:39,105 physically resting to just remember, Daddy doesn't sustain this 429 00:26:39,165 --> 00:26:42,630 family, God does. And it's a physical, it's a discipline, 430 00:26:42,650 --> 00:26:45,836 it's a spiritual discipline where we remember there is a God who 431 00:26:45,896 --> 00:26:49,262 takes care of us. And so we don't always have to hustle and work, like 432 00:26:49,302 --> 00:26:52,559 we can just rest. And part of that rest is soul rest, 433 00:26:52,579 --> 00:26:56,160 which is why I talked about sitting in peace at the beginning of this episode. And 434 00:26:56,260 --> 00:26:59,902 part of that rest is actual physical rest. God 435 00:27:00,022 --> 00:27:03,643 cares about rest. Now there's this verse in Psalm 127 that says 436 00:27:03,683 --> 00:27:06,924 this, In vain you rise early and stay up late, 437 00:27:07,404 --> 00:27:11,406 toiling for food to eat, for he grants sleep 438 00:27:12,046 --> 00:27:15,148 to those he loves. Now, if 439 00:27:15,168 --> 00:27:18,731 you're listening to this, you are listening to the Dad Tired podcast 440 00:27:18,771 --> 00:27:22,474 and you're like, dude, okay, God must not love me because I 441 00:27:22,554 --> 00:27:25,777 am tired. Listen, I've gone through four babies. I've 442 00:27:25,817 --> 00:27:29,119 got four kids. I know what it's like to go through the newborn stages and 443 00:27:29,159 --> 00:27:33,364 the toddler stages and it is exhausting. absolutely 444 00:27:33,624 --> 00:27:36,768 physically exhausting and this does not 445 00:27:36,808 --> 00:27:40,132 mean that God doesn't love you just means you're in a season right now where 446 00:27:40,192 --> 00:27:43,616 sleep is hard to come by but clearly sleep 447 00:27:43,676 --> 00:27:46,840 is important because God is actually equating sleep to 448 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:50,344 those he loves like I love you and I'm gonna let you sleep well even 449 00:27:50,384 --> 00:27:53,506 in Mark chapter 6 verse 31, Jesus is talking to his 450 00:27:53,546 --> 00:27:56,886 disciples and he says, then because so many people were 451 00:27:56,926 --> 00:28:00,427 coming and going that they did not have a chance to eat. So the 452 00:28:00,467 --> 00:28:03,688 scripture, Mark is talking about how Jesus is with his disciples. So 453 00:28:03,708 --> 00:28:06,869 many people are essentially coming up to them, bothering them for 454 00:28:06,929 --> 00:28:10,210 lack of better words, that they couldn't even eat. The disciples and Jesus couldn't even eat. 455 00:28:10,230 --> 00:28:13,330 So Jesus said to them, come with me by yourselves to a 456 00:28:13,390 --> 00:28:16,932 quiet place and get some rest. Jesus, 457 00:28:17,213 --> 00:28:20,538 God of the universe, walking around in flesh and blood says, let's get 458 00:28:20,579 --> 00:28:23,794 some rest. And so Jesus cares about rest. Listen, I 459 00:28:23,814 --> 00:28:27,334 remember when I was in the thick of infant season 460 00:28:27,414 --> 00:28:30,615 and we were not sleeping at all. And you just are, dude, you're 461 00:28:30,655 --> 00:28:34,636 like, you're trying to maintain, you're just trying to survive. And 462 00:28:34,656 --> 00:28:37,837 I remember the first night, I can't remember what baby it was, but there 463 00:28:37,877 --> 00:28:41,618 was, you know, we're trying to sleep and it's exhausting. You don't get a single few 464 00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:44,978 hours of sleep at any given time. And I remember the first night the 465 00:28:45,018 --> 00:28:48,379 baby slept, like, I don't remember what it was like five hours in 466 00:28:48,419 --> 00:28:51,600 a row. And I woke up feeling quite literally like 467 00:28:51,660 --> 00:28:55,163 a different man. I got stuff done that day. And that's me, dude. I'm the dad. 468 00:28:55,523 --> 00:28:58,645 You know, like my wife's up breastfeeding. She's doing her thing, which is 469 00:28:58,785 --> 00:29:01,948 way more intense than whatever I'm doing at night. And, but I just 470 00:29:01,988 --> 00:29:05,430 remember we slept for like a good chunk of time and I woke up 471 00:29:05,811 --> 00:29:08,913 and just felt like I am a whole new man I can take on the 472 00:29:08,953 --> 00:29:12,636 world. Sleep is, they've done so many studies on sleep. Did 473 00:29:12,656 --> 00:29:15,938 you know the longest anybody's ever stayed up? It was a 17 year old, the longest 474 00:29:15,978 --> 00:29:19,081 he ever stayed up. He was doing it for like a science fair project or 475 00:29:19,121 --> 00:29:22,563 something. I think this was in the sixties. He stayed up for 11 days 476 00:29:22,663 --> 00:29:25,884 straight, and they studied him, and they've studied other people who 477 00:29:25,924 --> 00:29:29,645 try to stay up. That's crazy, by the way. Like, that's insane. But 478 00:29:29,665 --> 00:29:32,906 they've studied, they've done all kinds of scientific research on this, 479 00:29:33,486 --> 00:29:37,047 and you're not meant to stay up that late. Like, God quite literally wired 480 00:29:37,087 --> 00:29:40,308 our bodies that if we go too long without sleep, first we go 481 00:29:40,368 --> 00:29:43,569 crazy, and then we die. But they've done this research, and 482 00:29:43,690 --> 00:29:47,391 bro, like, you don't sleep, your brain starts going to weird 483 00:29:47,451 --> 00:29:51,073 places. Hallucinating, you can't make good decisions. 484 00:29:51,433 --> 00:29:55,016 There was one study that talked about you start making up false memories. 485 00:29:55,056 --> 00:29:58,298 Like you can't remember what's true, what's not true. Some things your brain starts 486 00:29:58,338 --> 00:30:01,700 feeding you and you just believe are true. I'm telling you all this because some 487 00:30:01,740 --> 00:30:05,143 of you guys are experiencing like very real relational work, 488 00:30:05,363 --> 00:30:08,545 life, hard stuff. And don't dismiss the fact 489 00:30:08,585 --> 00:30:13,068 that you could quite literally just be physically tired. I'm 490 00:30:13,188 --> 00:30:16,850 like chuckling through that because it sounds so simple, but it's also, bro, 491 00:30:16,930 --> 00:30:21,012 like God wired our bodies in such a way that you need 492 00:30:21,532 --> 00:30:24,834 sleep. I've been taking, since the start of the new year, I've been taking 493 00:30:24,874 --> 00:30:27,975 my sleep hygiene super serious. I've been trying to 494 00:30:28,015 --> 00:30:31,177 like, this is a part of me that I want, I want to be a healthy man. I want my soul to 495 00:30:31,277 --> 00:30:34,638 feel rested and I want my body to feel rested. I 496 00:30:34,738 --> 00:30:37,960 personally think this is the number one physical thing that 497 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,262 I can do to make myself feel healthier. I'm gonna talk about 498 00:30:41,642 --> 00:30:45,165 like physical health and stuff in later episodes, but like 499 00:30:45,285 --> 00:30:49,108 where I start when I feel just out of whack is physical sleep. 500 00:30:49,228 --> 00:30:52,451 What am I sleeping like? So let me just give you a couple of things. This is not new 501 00:30:52,491 --> 00:30:55,614 information, you can Google this, but since we're here and we're talking about it, let me just 502 00:30:55,654 --> 00:30:58,816 throw some things at you that should help you start to get 503 00:30:58,856 --> 00:31:02,639 some better sleep. Number one, they say the number one thing to do in 504 00:31:02,679 --> 00:31:05,882 order to start sleeping better is not have kids. I'm kidding, 505 00:31:05,922 --> 00:31:09,306 that's not the... The number one thing to do is 506 00:31:09,386 --> 00:31:12,989 create a regular sleep wake cycle. Meaning 507 00:31:13,029 --> 00:31:16,171 just like you do with your kids, like maybe you have a bedtime routine with your 508 00:31:16,191 --> 00:31:19,673 kids. They take a bath, you read them stories, start to turn off the lights. You 509 00:31:19,693 --> 00:31:23,376 go through this whole routine for my two year old daughter. I hold her. I sing 510 00:31:23,416 --> 00:31:26,578 this song to her. I lay her down. This was when she was back in her crib a 511 00:31:26,618 --> 00:31:29,946 couple of months ago. She's now sleeping in a big girl bed. But 512 00:31:29,986 --> 00:31:33,548 we had this whole routine of like bath story song 513 00:31:33,588 --> 00:31:36,889 while I rock her layer down. They say that like, for some 514 00:31:36,929 --> 00:31:40,110 reason, we just get rid of these sleep routines as adults. Cause we think we 515 00:31:40,130 --> 00:31:43,532 don't need them. Your body loves routines and habits. And 516 00:31:43,572 --> 00:31:47,093 so as much as you can do the same kind of routine for yourself, 517 00:31:47,193 --> 00:31:50,555 again, you don't need to like. Rock yourself to sleep and 518 00:31:50,695 --> 00:31:53,976 sing yourself a song. Although if that helps, that helps go ahead and go for it, but have 519 00:31:54,016 --> 00:31:57,537 some kind of routine. So for us, I actually got these smart light 520 00:31:57,557 --> 00:32:00,618 bulbs. They're cheap. They were cheap on Amazon. I got them for our room and I 521 00:32:00,698 --> 00:32:03,999 set them on a timer so that as the sun is going down, 522 00:32:04,199 --> 00:32:07,681 the lights are actually dimming themselves. And that's releasing melatonin in 523 00:32:07,761 --> 00:32:11,082 our brain is starting to let me know that night is coming. It's 524 00:32:11,122 --> 00:32:14,524 time for sleep. I'm purposely turning down all the lights in 525 00:32:14,564 --> 00:32:18,325 my house. That's one of the routines. I stopped looking at technology 526 00:32:18,486 --> 00:32:21,967 and screens, especially phones. Phones actually give 527 00:32:22,007 --> 00:32:25,429 you a different light. There's a different kind of light, a blue light coming 528 00:32:25,469 --> 00:32:28,630 from computers and phones versus like your TV. It's 529 00:32:28,650 --> 00:32:31,771 not good to watch TV before you sleep, but it's worse to 530 00:32:31,811 --> 00:32:34,972 watch your phone or be on a computer, especially your phone. So 531 00:32:35,012 --> 00:32:38,653 just start eliminating technology about an hour to two hours before 532 00:32:38,673 --> 00:32:42,235 you go to sleep. Start dimming the lights. A hot shower is actually really 533 00:32:42,295 --> 00:32:45,416 good before bed. There's all kinds of like, I'm trying to 534 00:32:45,476 --> 00:32:48,578 speed this up, but there's all kinds of research about that. I open up the 535 00:32:48,638 --> 00:32:52,060 windows, especially when it's cold. Like last night I was freezing. 536 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,882 It was so cold that I opened up the windows. I got the room super cold, took 537 00:32:55,922 --> 00:32:59,544 a hot shower. The lights were going down. You stop looking at technology. Maybe 538 00:32:59,564 --> 00:33:02,845 you read a book. You spend some time in conversation with your spouse. spouse, but 539 00:33:02,865 --> 00:33:05,967 you're winding down your brain and the key here is that you do 540 00:33:06,007 --> 00:33:09,509 that same thing every single night. Rhythm, your body, 541 00:33:09,649 --> 00:33:13,711 the way that God has wired us is that we actually love cycles. We love rhythm. 542 00:33:13,771 --> 00:33:17,073 So try to go to bed at the same time every night and 543 00:33:17,173 --> 00:33:20,474 wake up at the same time every morning. Get yourself on some kind 544 00:33:20,494 --> 00:33:24,356 of rhythm. If you feel like you're not sleeping well, it's probably because the 545 00:33:24,396 --> 00:33:28,038 first step is because you probably are out of rhythm. Make 546 00:33:28,078 --> 00:33:31,621 sure that you go to bed at the same time. Again, I know kids throw all 547 00:33:31,681 --> 00:33:35,024 kinds of loops into this, but try to get yourself in bed at the same time 548 00:33:35,444 --> 00:33:38,867 and awake at the same time. Create a sleep time routine. I 549 00:33:38,887 --> 00:33:41,989 gave you a lot of these things, room temperature, get the lights down and 550 00:33:42,049 --> 00:33:45,211 remove electronics. These are just some ways that 551 00:33:45,231 --> 00:33:48,472 will help you start to get better sleep. Alcohol, you might, 552 00:33:48,692 --> 00:33:51,834 you know, you can have all kinds of, I know you guys denominationally are 553 00:33:51,854 --> 00:33:54,975 probably all over the spectrum on alcohol and sin and all 554 00:33:55,015 --> 00:33:58,957 that stuff. It's not like you might think a glass of wine or a beer helps 555 00:33:58,977 --> 00:34:02,138 you sleep. It actually, research shows that it does not. It might help you 556 00:34:02,178 --> 00:34:05,960 go to sleep faster, but it does not help you get actually good deep sleep. 557 00:34:06,460 --> 00:34:09,562 And so, You don't want to do that. If you have a watch, a smartwatch, a lot of 558 00:34:09,602 --> 00:34:12,866 them will have trackers on it. I've been tracking my sleep every night to help 559 00:34:12,906 --> 00:34:16,329 me know my sleep patterns. Again, I'm just taking sleep hygiene very 560 00:34:16,369 --> 00:34:19,872 seriously because I want to be a healthy man. 561 00:34:20,393 --> 00:34:23,756 I want to be a man who wakes up well rested because I 562 00:34:23,816 --> 00:34:27,219 know when I'm well rested, I love my wife better. I'm more patient. I 563 00:34:27,299 --> 00:34:30,901 am better as a father with my kids. I have more energy and 564 00:34:31,021 --> 00:34:34,363 mental stamina to study the word of God and 565 00:34:34,423 --> 00:34:37,565 to engage in deep conversations. I'm not so short and 566 00:34:37,685 --> 00:34:40,947 irritable and groggy all the time. I want to sleep well so 567 00:34:40,967 --> 00:34:44,249 that I can be the man that God has called me to be. And full 568 00:34:44,309 --> 00:34:47,411 circle here, I think the greatest way to get the 569 00:34:47,532 --> 00:34:50,814 deepest sleep is to know that your soul is at peace. If your soul is 570 00:34:50,874 --> 00:34:54,236 not at peace, what we were talking about at the beginning of this episode, you 571 00:34:54,256 --> 00:34:57,939 will have a hard time sleeping well. You will wake up with anxiety. 572 00:34:58,219 --> 00:35:01,422 You will not get consistent body rest if 573 00:35:01,462 --> 00:35:04,664 your soul is not at rest. And so first to be 574 00:35:04,684 --> 00:35:08,667 a healthy man, you've got to have soul peace, soul 575 00:35:09,088 --> 00:35:12,630 rest, deal with the hard stuff in the quiet places. And 576 00:35:12,730 --> 00:35:16,453 then once you start to do that, develop good sleep hygiene 577 00:35:16,473 --> 00:35:19,657 routines so that your body gets rest. at the end of all of 578 00:35:19,697 --> 00:35:23,627 this we want to be healthy men and healthy men are well rested.