The Dad Manual

Two decades in, Kevin Button is still learning — and that's exactly what makes him a great dad.

Kevin Button is a father of three spanning 21 years in age, and one of Tony Cooper's closest friends in fatherhood. In this conversation, Kevin gets brutally honest about who he was as a young father — ego-driven, reactive, and repeating patterns he never consciously chose — and how a quiet moment with his 3-year-old son completely broke him open.
Kevin and Tony dig into the long game of raising kids: what changes between your first and third child, why the ego is the enemy of good fathering, and how becoming the dad you want to be is a daily, conscious act. They also talk about the rare gift of a trusted fatherhood community, the role of sports in building character, and why presence is the single greatest thing you can give a child.
This is the kind of real, unfiltered fatherhood podcast conversation that sticks with you — whether you're 10 minutes into the dad journey or 20 years deep.

Key Takeaways:
  1. Your first child takes the brunt of who you were before you did the work — and that's a call to action, not a reason for guilt.
  2. Emotion is a compass. When something doesn't feel right in how you're parenting, that discomfort is pointing you somewhere important.
  3. The ego is one of the biggest obstacles to becoming a great father. Learning to put it down is a skill.
  4. Children love unconditionally — and watching that play out in real time can be the most powerful catalyst for change.
  5. Presence isn't passive. It's a disciplined, conscious effort — and it's worth more than any material thing you can give a child.
  6. Parenting evolves across your kids. Who you were raising your first child is rarely who you are by the third.
  7. Your kids are watching everything: how you carry yourself in public, how you treat your wife, how you handle conflict.
  8. A community of aligned fathers is a rare and powerful thing. Other dads can become genuine co-parents when the values match.
  9. Sports can build character or crush it — knowing when to protect your child from an environment that's gone wrong is just as important as pushing them toward competition.
  10. The moment your adult child acknowledges you as a father is one of the most meaningful experiences of the journey — and it makes the hard years worth it.
If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

  • (00:00) - Intro: Parenting requires constant shifting
  • (01:32) - Meet Kevin Button & family overview
  • (03:14) - Parenting across 21 years: the exhaustion and the joy
  • (05:31) - Generational patterns & what gets passed down
  • (06:36) - Kevin's childhood: divorce, stepfathers, and structure
  • (08:17) - Growing up without a strong father figure
  • (10:08) - What dads model in the small moments
  • (12:26) - Trevor takes the brunt of young-dad mistakes
  • (13:55) - The ego and the damage it does
  • (15:36) - Neural pathways and reverting to what you know
  • (17:04) - The garage meditation moment that changed everything
  • (18:36) - A 3-year-old's "I love you" that broke Kevin open
  • (20:35) - Kids love unconditionally — adults have to learn it
  • (22:58) - Building a fatherhood village with the Coopers
  • (24:01) - What aligned fatherhood friendships look like
  • (27:00) - Other men as fatherhood influences
  • (28:54) - Leo moves to North Carolina during COVID
  • (31:21) - What it means to trust another dad with your son
  • (32:47) - Sports philosophy: Trevor, basketball, and Waldorf
  • (36:23) - Ryland's AAU journey and knowing when to walk away
  • (40:34) - Shifting your approach between children
  • (41:51) - Boys protecting their mother — and growing up
  • (43:36) - The moment Trevor acknowledged Kevin as a father
  • (44:52) - Advice for new dads: presence above all else
  • (46:27) - Put the phone down. Slow time down.
  • (47:09) - Wrapping up: Eckhart Tolle and the Power of Now

Creators and Guests

Host
Tony Cooper
Tony Cooper is the founder of Playing the Game of Business, a business coach, father, and podcast host.

What is The Dad Manual?

The Dad Manual is a fatherhood podcast hosted by Tony Cooper, featuring honest conversations with dads about the real, unfiltered journey of parenthood. This parenting podcast for dads explores everything from the excitement of being a first time dad to navigating the teenage years. As one of the best podcasts for expecting dads and experienced fathers alike, we dive deep into what it actually means to be a modern dad—the struggles, the growth, the mistakes, and the moments that change you forever. Whether you're looking for a new dad podcast or seasoned parenting wisdom, this family podcast delivers the honest guidance you won't find in books.