You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist

Education expert Deb Fillman fills us in on what’s broken in the American education system today. We examine the vital role of promoting embodied, experiential, naturalistic and age-appropriate learning that support the student taking ownership of their own mind. We explore the risks of teaching abstract concepts to concrete thinkers, enforcing one-size-fits-all curriculum, expecting children to sit still and be quiet for 7 hours a day, emphasizing reading and math at too young ages, and forcing everyone to be “friends.” We compare the different needs of male-typical and female-typical children when it comes to learning styles, socialization, aggression, and conflict resolution. Deb shares her concerns at how teachers’ roles are rapidly evolving into uncharted territory, such as taking on the role of untrained counselors, violating children’s emotional boundaries, and using inappropriate methods misleadingly called “social and emotional learning.” And we explore: should teens really be encouraged to think they can (and should) change the world?

Show Notes

The twentieth century saw enormous gains in our understanding of children’s psychological development. So why is our school system still designed as if children are miniature adults? 

Education expert Deb Fillman fills us in on what’s broken in the American education system today. We examine the vital role of promoting embodied, experiential, naturalistic and age-appropriate learning that support the student taking ownership of their own mind. We explore the risks of teaching abstract concepts to concrete thinkers, enforcing one-size-fits-all curriculum, expecting children to sit still and be quiet for 7 hours a day, emphasizing reading and math at too young ages, and forcing everyone to be “friends.” We compare the different needs of male-typical and female-typical children when it comes to learning styles, socialization, aggression, and conflict resolution. Deb shares her concerns at how teachers’ roles are rapidly evolving into uncharted territory, such as taking on the role of untrained counselors, violating children’s emotional boundaries, and using inappropriate methods misleadingly called “social and emotional learning.” And we explore: should teens really be encouraged to think they can (and should) change the world?

Deb Fillman is a homeschooling mother of three with a Masters Degree in Education, and a background in teaching and tutoring. After spending the past decade studying, and monitoring the impact of current trends and practices in American K12 education, Deb concluded parents needed an advocate; someone to help them take charge of their children’s education. 

Over the past three years, her knowledge, passion and experience have helped thousands of families to understand why their children are struggling, and to help them find effective, innovative ways to give their kids the best K-12 education possible.

She offers private consulting for families of home-based learners, parent educator coaching, and custom course development for families committed to independently educating their children. Deb is also available for public speaking engagements and media appearances. She can most easily be found on her YouTube, Substack, Locals channel and website of the same name, The Reason We Learn. You can follow Deb on Twitter @deb_fillman and @reasonwelearn.

Find Stephanie’s guest appearance on Deb’s channel here: Are We Pathologizing Childhood & Adolescence?

During this episode Stephanie recommended several books by Leonard Sax. You can purchase those links and support the show through her bookshop or these Amazon affiliate links:

Leonard Sax: Why Gender Matters

Leonard Sax: Boys Adrift

Leonard Sax: Girls on the Edge

Stephanie also mentioned her conversation with Michael DC Bowen. You can listen to episode 16, The Wisdom in World-Bridging with Michael DC Bowen, here.

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Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

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What is You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist?

A podcast at the intersection of psychology and culture that intimately explores the human experience and critiques the counseling profession. Your host, Stephanie Winn, distills wisdom gained from her practice as a family therapist and coach while pivoting towards questions of how to apply a practical understanding of psychology to the novel dilemmas of the 21st century, from political polarization to medical malpractice.

What does ethical mental health care look like in a normless age, as our moral compasses spin in search of true north? How can therapists treat patients under pressure to affirm everything from the notion of "gender identity" to assisted suicide?

Primarily a long-form interview podcast, Stephanie invites unorthodox, free-thinking guests from many walks of life, including counselors, social workers, medical professionals, writers, researchers, and people with unique lived experience, such as detransitioners.

Curious about many things, Stephanie’s interdisciplinary psychological lens investigates challenging social issues and inspires transformation in the self, relationships, and society. She is known for bringing calm warmth to painful subjects, and astute perceptiveness to ethically complex issues. Pick up a torch to illuminate the dark night and join us on this journey through the inner wilderness.

You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist ranks in the top 1% globally according to ListenNotes. New episodes are released every Monday. Three and a half years after the show's inception in May of 2022, Stephanie became a Christian, representing the crystallization of moral, spiritual, and existential views she had been openly grappling with along with her audience and guests. Newer episodes (#188 forward) may sometimes reflect a Christian understanding, interwoven with and applied to the same issues the podcast has always addressed. The podcast remains diverse and continues to feature guests from all viewpoints.