Morgan Teruel: Hey. Thanks so much for listening to Sandals Church. Our vision as a church is to be real with ourselves, God, and others. We hope you enjoy this message.
Melody Workman: Well, hey, Sandals Church. I wanna start by asking you a question. So wherever you're watching from, just raise your hand. How many of you are getting older? Getting older?
K. If you didn't raise your hand, you're also not getting smarter. Sorry. You came for the real truth today. Yeah.
We're we're all getting older, and a few years ago, something really traumatic happened to me. I'm glad I can talk about it today. I worked through it, but I turned 40, and everything about it hurt my feelings. And I realized I needed to take better care of my skin. So I reach out to a friend who's an aesthetician.
I'm like, what can you do to help me? So she's like, here's what I think we should do. I think we should do this procedure called a chemical peel. And she walked me through it. And, basically, she burned my skin off and but she said it was good for me.
And she said, here's what's gonna happen. I'm going to put this stuff on your face. It's gonna burn. It's gonna tingle. Don't touch your face.
Just moisturize it, but leave it untouched. And in a few days, that top layer of skin that's just old and full of dead skin cells, it's gonna shed, and there's gonna be new, glowy, youthful skin underneath. I'm like, this sounds amazing. Alright. So she did it.
She did the procedure, kept it moisturized. She said don't touch it. I wasn't touching it, but there was one problem. This was during COVID when we were wearing masks. So every day, the mask was touching my face right around my mouth.
And so I started to it started to irritate me a little bit, but I just kept moisturizing it. And then one day, I'm in the bathroom and I'm looking in the mirror, and my husband comes around the corner and he looks at me and he goes, woah. And then he was choosing his words very carefully because he values his life. He said, I I don't know that that's what's supposed to be happening. I think you should take a pic and and send it to to to the aesthetician.
So I did. And and and this this is what I look like. Yeah. Yeah. That hurt my feelings again.
Something was wrong. And so I sent her the picture because, oh my gosh. You have an infection. The the the mask that keeps touching your face has caused an infection, so I'm gonna have to put you on antibiotic. And and she did, and I was fine.
But here was the best part of the whole story. No one had to see me like that except for my husband and my kids, and they've done worse to me. And so I I was fine because we were all wearing masks. I was going to church, hanging out with friends, laughing, talking. No one knew that there was a pus infected amoeba around my mouth.
And I liked it that way because I didn't wanna be vulnerable. Who wants to be vulnerable? The whole idea of vulnerability just makes us all go, no thanks. Listen to the very definition of vulnerability. A willingness to show emotion.
Some of you are like, I'm out. To allow one's weaknesses or infections to be seen or known. A willingness to risk being emotionally hurt. No. Thank you.
And here is why vulnerability is so hard for all of us. Because at some point in your life, something happened where someone told you the message you heard was don't be vulnerable. It's way too it's way too painful. It's way too risky. Right now, something is coming into your mind when you're like, no.
I'm out. And the reason why vulnerability is so hard for all of us is because it's it's directly linked to our imperfections. I didn't want anyone to see me like that. We don't wanna be vulnerable because we don't want people to see us like fill in the blank. And because we're all imperfect, you could make a case and say, well, then if a person was perfect, they wouldn't have to struggle with vulnerability.
Nothing to hide. Nothing to keep hidden, nothing to keep safe, which is why it's remarkable to me that the greatest example of vulnerability in the scripture is by the only perfect person who ever lived. It's Jesus. We're gonna walk into this story, and and I wanna bring you to where we are. We're we're gonna go into the garden of Gethsemane.
Jesus has just been in the upper room with his disciples. They've just had the last supper. He's on his way to his trial and his crucifixion. And I want you to hear the words he says. Mark 143334, he says that he took Peter, James, and John with him and he became deeply troubled and distressed.
And here's what he told them. My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Another translation says this. My heart is so heavy, I feel like I could die. But then listen to what he says next.
Stay here and keep watch with me. The power in those two words, with me. And here's why this is so remarkable. Because all through the gospels, we have plenty of time where Jesus actually got away from the disciples to be alone with the father. He would send them to the next town and get along with solitude.
He would send them on and he would go up to the mountaintop and pray with the father. Jesus knew and practiced solitude. But in this moment, you know what Jesus is saying? I don't wanna be alone. I don't wanna be alone.
Come with me. And look at what happens in these next few verses. We're gonna be in Luke 22. They get to the garden and it says he walked away about a stone's throw and he knelt down and prayed. Now here's what you need to know about a stone's throw.
That's about 50 to 60 feet. It's about the length of a trailer on a semitruck, which means they could hear him for sure. Chances are they could see him. He wasn't keeping them from seeing how he was really doing. It says an angel appeared and strengthened him.
This is how not okay Jesus was. It says he prayed more fervently when he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood, Jesus chose to let people see him this way. Then it says at last, he stood up again and he turned returned to the disciples only to find them asleep. Now my whole life as I've read this story, the disciples get such a bad rap here. Like, they were just sleeping while Jesus is basically dying?
I mean, look at all that Jesus has done for them. But can we just pause and have a moment of empathy for the disciples? Number 1, it's late at night. Don't try to talk to me after 10 o'clock. Okay?
Hold hold it. My kids have all their crises at like midnight. He just fed them bread. He gave them boys wine. He washed their feet and because he's the good lord, you know he put some foot massage action in there.
I'm not awake for 5 minutes after that. But they're not out there with full bellies and happy dreams. Look what it says. They fell asleep exhausted from grief, overwhelmed with sorrow. They have never seen Jesus not be okay.
He's always made it okay for them. They're in the middle of a storm, Jesus calms the sea. They're on the mountainside with thousands of thousands of people who haven't eaten, Jesus makes food. Their friend Lazarus dies, Jesus brings him back from the dead. They're not okay because he is not okay.
And I wanna ask you, who knows you and is with you when you're not okay? Who do you let see you like this? Who are your people? Who knows you? Who gets invited into the darkest, hardest nights with you?
Hey, everyone. Thank you so much for joining us. I would encourage you to partner with us financially by giving at donate.sc. And for now, let's continue in the message with Melody Workman. A few years ago, my close some of my closest friends lost their son in a tragic accident.
We got the call and went to the hospital. He was on life support for a few days. And in those first few hours, just a few of their closest friends in the ER, and there was a lot of crying and praying and hugging, and we couldn't fix anything. We couldn't change what was happening. For some of you, what you need to hear is people don't need you to fix their pain.
They need you to sit with them through it. And we were just together. We were just together. And together beats alone every single day of the week. My friends didn't invite their bank teller or their dentist.
They didn't invite the guy that they waved to that morning on their way to work. Real vulnerability happens inside of real community. What I'm telling you is you don't need to be vulnerable with everyone but you need to be vulnerable with someone. Someone needs to know the real you, but I get it. Vulnerability is terrifying.
The whole idea of risking that just feels like, I'm good. Not too long ago, we we needed a repair done at the house, and it was just the season where, you know, I like things neat and tidy. Ask my kids. They're like, you're OCD. I'm like, bro, look at your room.
There's nothing OCD about me. Could you get a little OCD? But we needed a repair done and we were all gonna be at work and I said, hey, guys. Let's just clean up, you know, before the repairman comes. And they're like, mom, it doesn't have to be perfect.
I'm like, okay, bro. Could you get your underwear off the dining room table? Like, just meet me in the middle and let's just let's just get stuff out of the way. So we got the living room, the family room, like, we vacuumed, we we lit a candle, like, we we had it presentable. You know?
And I went to work and then he called me. He was like, hey. Actually, to do this repair, I I need to get access to the attic, and the only access to the attic is through my closet. And what I've been doing was taking everything that I couldn't find a place for and shoving it in my closet. So I said, you're fired.
No. Do you know what vulnerability is like? Vulnerability is like allowing someone to see in the closet of your soul. He he got in and got home. He did the repair.
I came home. I said, man, I'm so sorry about my closet. It it just well, you know and he goes, oh my gosh. Your closet is nothing. You should see mine.
And went into his own closet story. That's what vulnerability does. As soon as we get real with other people, we give them the courage to do the same. This is me. This is my real stuff.
Who gets to see into the closet of your soul? Can I be honest with you for a second? Some of you got so mad during COVID about wearing a mask to church when the truth is you've been doing that for years. Not a mask on your face, but a mask on your soul. You come, you sing, you serve, you give and you leave and no one knows the real you.
Amen. And can I just tell you something today? Do you know why Jesus wants vulnerability for you? Because he knows that a fake life will never be a free life. You will never be free as long as you're fake.
So here's my question. If Jesus was willing to be vulnerable, why aren't you? If Jesus was willing to invite people in and see him at his worst, what's holding you back? Some of you will say, I'm busy. I know.
I know I know I know you're busy. Some of you say, well, I have my family. Bro, you're bringing crazy uncle Baba into this closet of your soul. You know that the Thanksgiving table is more like a reality show than a demonstration of vulnerability. Like but I think I think if you're honest I think if I'm honest, to some degree, the reason why we struggle with vulnerability is because we have a problem and it's called shame.
We're all carrying shame. In fact, in the story we just read about Jesus where he does this incredible thing showing us the beauty of vulnerability, we only have to go a few verses later to see a powerful demonstration of shame. Jesus finishes praying in the garden. His disciples get up and he comes and they arrest him. And it says, and Peter followed at a distance.
Now we shame Peter a lot, but where were the rest of the disciples? At least he kept following at a distance. And some of you know the story, the guards lit a fire and they sat around it and he joins them. A servant girl notices him. She begins to stare and she says, hey.
That's one of Jesus' followers. And what does Peter do? No. I'm not. An hour later, someone insists, hey, this must be one of them.
He's a Galilean. He says, I don't know what you're talking about. Another person a little bit later, he says, I am not one of his followers. And after the 3rd time, listen to the words in verse 61. At that moment, the Lord turned and looked at Peter.
What was that moment like? You were just praying with me and now you don't know me? What was that moment like for you When you had to lock eyes with the person that you'd lied to, that you'd betrayed, that you'd abandoned or disappointed or failed. That moment right there encapsulates the power of shame. Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
And we're all carrying shame from something that we did, from something that we do, from something that we swore we'd never do again, but then we did it again. And here is what the message of shame is telling you over and over and over again. If people only knew the real you, they wouldn't love you, They would turn their back on you. They fire you. They choose someone else.
They change their mind. So it is safer for me to keep my shame hidden than to bring it out into the light. And and I want you to know something. The enemy doesn't have any new tricks or tools. Do you hear me saying that to you today?
He uses this because it's so powerful, but he's been using this since the beginning of time. We go back to Genesis. It says in Genesis 2/25, now the man and his wife were both naked. I mean, that's completely vulnerable, but they felt no shame. And this is how you know that a Mediterranean climate is the perfect will of God.
No one's in Antarctica naked. I'm telling you right now. So in the new heaven and the new earth, y'all better start working out. No shame. Completely exposed, completely free, enjoying the abundant life that God had provided.
And what does the enemy do? It says the serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the lord God had made for some of you. That's why you're in church today. When are you gonna learn that the enemy is not stupid? Crafty, clever.
I'm gonna go for where it hurts. And what does he do? Listen, look how beautiful. You just want that fruit over there. Well, that's the one fruit God said, well, let let Come on.
Making He's making a big deal. Just have it. Look what'll happen to you if you take it. And they do. They eat of the fruit.
And look what happens in verse 7. At that moment, it says their eyes were opened. The morning after the party when you drink too much, you wake up the next day, your eyes are open. You wake up the next day and you realize, what did I do? And suddenly, they felt shame.
So they sewed fig leaves together to cover or to hide themselves. This has been his tool from the beginning. It hasn't changed. And here's what some of you need to hear today. Don't miss the link between sin and shame, How closely connected they are.
And listen, I'm just gonna tell you what the enemy is. He's the inviter and he's the accuser. He invites you to sin and then he accuses you for accepting the invitation. Come on. Have some fun.
Relax. Come on. Lighten up. It's one time. No one's even gonna know.
You could do this and no one will even know. You're so hard on yourself. Just look at it just look at it for a second, say you have to look at it for an hour. And you hear that voice and you start to go, yeah, it's probably not that big of a deal. And then you do it and then the voice changes.
You call yourself a Christian? You know what people at San Jose Church would do if they knew that this is what you were doing? This is what you do? He tempts you to sin and then he taunts you with shame. And here's why shame is so powerful, because once you do it, you add it to the list of things you've already done and now there's a nonstop reel going on in your head.
Because I will tell you this, all of your bad decisions have one thing in common, you. You you were there for all of them. And bad decision after bad decision is on repeat. Shame. Shame.
Shame. Shame. And you wanna know why shame is so powerful? Because shame leaves you stuck. You can't move forward because you can't get past it.
I don't know if there's any worse feeling in the world than being stuck. Stuck in traffic. Hello, Southern California. Stuck in line. Stuck is such a helpless feeling.
A few years ago, I was flying back from a wedding on the East Coast. I had a flight out of Dulles in DC, had a layover in Denver. If you're watching from Colorado, we can be friends. Denver airport is dead to me. No chance of a resurrection.
And my flight kept getting delayed and I kept going up to the counter saying, I've got a connecting flight in Denver. And she says, everybody on this flight is connecting in Denver. And I'm like, well, I just wanna make sure that they're gonna hold hold the flight. Like, we're we can't do anything about the lightning and the thunder, and so I just wanna make sure we get there, our flight's gonna be there. She kept trying to assure me.
I just went ahead and bit the bullet and paid way too much money to get an upgrade so I could be in front of the plane so that as soon as that plane landed, I could grab my carry on and run through the airport because I did not wanna be stuck. And the whole 3 and a half hour flight, I'm just like, lord Jesus, get me to Denver then get me home. Lord I'm praying. He lands the plane and the pilot announces over the loud speaker, good news everybody, I've landed 30 minutes early. The whole plane erupts in applause cause everybody's got somewhere to go.
And he starts making his way up to our gate and he goes, oh, there's a plane at our gate. Who's in charge? I'm gonna send Denver a new whiteboard. Are y'all talking to each other like what? So all the 30 minutes we had made up were sitting now on the ground.
5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Finally, when he gets up to the gate, I grab my my carry on. I am running through the Denver airport and I turn around and there's 5 strangers I don't even know and we're all running, running. And we get to our gate, we're out of breath, we get to the counter, I can see our our plane, it's still there, and I go, we're our flight, we made it, we're all here. Then he goes, I'm sorry, but we've already closed the door.
Jesus, help. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. I said, I know. I can see that, but we're we're all here. And that's our plane and and we paid for it, so I'm just gonna need you to open the door.
We we can open the door. Whoever wants to open the door. I'm sorry. This is against our protocol. Okay.
Okay. I I'm like, okay, Bobby, your protocol won't set that aside because I wanna get on that plane. And no matter what we said, Bobby and his protocol didn't open the door, and I was stuck. And for a person who watches as much true crime as I do, spending the night in the Denver airport was terrifying. My husband was like head on a swivel.
Head on a swivel. But I was stuck. Nothing I could do. Paralyzed. That's what shame does.
In fact, when we go back to Peter, where do we find Peter after the resurrection? Where do we find Peter after he with his own eyes has seen the empty tomb? Man, if there is an excuse for a fresh start, it's an empty tomb. John 21:3, Simon Peter said, I'm going fishing back to what I used to do, back to who I used to be, back to what I'm good at. Jesus filled my mind with all this vision of I'm a rock, He's gonna build His church and blah blah blah.
Clearly when Jesus needed me most, I bailed, I whipped. I'll go back to fishing. I'm pretty good at fishing. That's what shame is telling you. There's no good coming out of your life.
You're gonna keep messing up. Just just go back to fishing. The disciples said, we'll come to. Shame. Here we go.
And they were so good at fishing, but listen what it says, they caught nothing all night. Just imagine how that moment felt. We're not good at that. Let's go back to this. Oh, it turns out we're not good at that either.
They're tired. They're discouraged. I wonder if they're reliving those mountaintop moments with Jesus. Like, I I did a miracle. Like and now here I am back on a boat.
My life is meaningless. I have no purpose. This is the message of shame. Do you know what shame needs? Do you know what shame needs?
Do you know what their shame needed? Do you know what your shame needs to know today? There is an answer for shame and its grace. Yes. Yes.
Verse 4. At dawn, Jesus was standing on the beach. This is where we see that the power of shame is no match for the person of grace. Amen. They couldn't see who he was.
Isn't that like us? His grace is coming. It's right there. We're oblivious. But the beauty of grace is that grace is always coming towards us.
It's always coming for us. It's meeting us right where we are. Imagine how I would have felt if I was standing at that counter fighting with Bobby over the door. If the pilot from the plane would have looked out the window and seen us as helpless as we were, if he unstrapped his seatbelt and left the cockpit and came up the walkway and opened the door and said, come on. There's a seat for you.
That's what grace does. It comes towards you. It comes towards me. If shame is the great paralyzer, then grace is the great mobilizer. It says Jesus called out fellows.
That word right there means my sons. It carries with it the connotation of a child under training. Jesus was saying, you messed up boys, but it's okay. I'm still gonna use you. I still love you.
It's a term of endearment. And he says, have you caught any fish? No, he says. They say. So he tells them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and you'll get some.
And they did. And it says they couldn't haul in the net because there were so many fish in it. And isn't that grace? It's over the top. It's extravagant.
It's lavish. It's way more than you need and everything you could ever want. And then picture with me this scene. The disciple that Jesus loves says to Peter, it's the Lord. Peter, he came.
Peter, he's here. Peter, it's not over yet. And Peter does the strangest thing. It says he gets on his coat to go swimming because that's what people do. But I think in his heart, I think he spent that whole night saying, Jesus, if you just gave me one more chance, if you just gave me one more chance.
And he just gets out of the boat and he swims as hard as he can, and what was it like when Peter comes out of the water just tripping wet? I just see Jesus smiling. Jesus smiles at you, friends, and he wraps him in a hug and he says, it's okay. Peter, I'm here. Peter, it's okay.
Grace keeps on coming. It keeps on showing up. And then we just had this beautiful scene where Jesus says, bring some of the fish you've caught, and they drag it to shore and there's a 153 sheep fish in there. And he says, no. Come and have some breakfast and don't miss this.
And then Jesus serves them the bread and the fish because that's what grace does. Grace isn't haughty. It's not arrogant. He didn't sit down and go, eat up, you morons. Let's try this again.
You're gonna build the church. Okay? Can you do that? No. That's not grace.
He made them breakfast and he served it to them, and this is where we see that grace eats shame for breakfast. That's in the past, guys. I'm here, and we're moving forward. Can I tell you something today that I want you to make sure you never forget? Grace is not passive.
Grace doesn't stay still and hope that you find it. We can be resisted but grace is persistent. We can run and grace will chase. We can hide and grace will find because grace is Jesus. Understand what grace is.
It is God's free favor for you. The transaction goes like this. God gives everything, I give nothing. God gives everything, I give nothing. And some of you are uncomfortable with that and I love that because until you're uncomfortable with grace, you won't understand it.
It's fuzzy math. It doesn't work. It's a head scratcher. Good. Because it's all him.
It's all him, it's not you. Listen to what Philip Yancey says about grace. Grace means there's nothing I can do to make God love me more and nothing I can do to make God love me less, it means that I, even I who deserve the opposite, I am invited to take my place at the table in God's family. Amen. Ephesians 2, 4, and 5.
God is so rich in mercy and loved us so much Come on. That even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead and it is only by God's grace that you have been saved. Amen. And do you know why you need grace to be true? Because you know you.
You know you. You know your fill in the blank. And the good news, it is. If you're asking yourself why, why does God have grace like this? Why is God's grace free favor?
Why? Why? What it doesn't make any sense. It's really simple because you are the one he loves. It's because he loves you.
Jesus is the one who decided to put words to the gospel for the first time. For God so loved and he's telling a Pharisee who knows the law and he didn't say, hey, Nicodemus, for God so hated sin that he sent his son. Does God hate sin? Yes. Of course he does.
Why does God hate sin? Because of what it does to us. Because he loves us. He loves you right where you are, and nothing about you was going to keep Jesus from coming for you. I told you when I was up here last time that adoption's part of our story.
My husband, Adam, went on a missions trip to Ethiopia in December 2012, and that's where he met Mehdi. When he came home, he said these words to me. He said, I feel like I left my son there, and I was wrecked. And we didn't know what to do. We we hadn't planned for adoption.
We we didn't have any clue how it worked, and the process from start to finish was three and a half years. And I'm telling you, it was so discouraging and it was so hard. But we didn't find out until a couple of years after Mehdi was home that Mehdi had no idea he was being adopted until the day we showed up to adopt him. We were sending him pictures, little like little toys, notes. And I said, what did you think all those times you were getting stuff?
He goes, I thought you were very nice white people. Thank you. He had no idea. But we knew and we wanted him. And it was setback after setback and about a year and a half into the process, a friend of ours who went there often, she said, hey, I have a really good relationship.
He was in a Catholic orphanage with a head nun there, and I think that she'll let us do a video call so that you can see him and he can see you. And we were like, oh, yes, please. Any any hope, any encouragement that we could have during this process would be amazing. She's like, it's probably gonna be at a weird time where we don't care. She's like, but just be ready because I don't even know how it's all gonna work and if we're gonna get a connection and all of that stuff.
And we just we went to bed and we just left our computer open just waiting to get the call, and sure enough, like, at 5:30 in the morning, it starts going off and and we get up and try to, like, arrange our bed head and we're just trying to and we're sitting there and we can't wait to see him, and we keep the connection. It keeps going in, it keeps going out, and and we never got to. We never got to see him. We got to talk to him, that was sweet. But when she came home from the trip, she said, I wanna tell you what happened.
She said, I was sitting outside with Mehdi and I was explaining to him that we were gonna talk to you, but that you were gonna be able to see him and he was gonna be able to see you. And when he understood that, he said, just one second. And he ran upstairs to his room and he changed his clothes. You can imagine Ethiopian orphanage don't have a lot of nice things. So he went in and he put on his school uniform, got his best white shirt and buttoned it up to the neck, came running down.
He said, now I'm ready. Meddy didn't know we were trying to get him. Meddy didn't know we already wanted him. Meddy didn't know he was already so deeply loved. Friends, for some of you today, this is your story.
God's been coming after you. You have no idea. Some of you keep trying to to make yourself more presentable to be more lovable. God's like, I know the real you and I want you. And nothing that you could ever do would keep me from coming for you.
My mind is made up. Some of you are struggling with shame because someone told you they loved you and changed their mind. God doesn't do that. It's sealed. His love for you was decided the day he died for you, and it's never changing.
You're not that powerful that you could change the love of God for you. Some of you have lived your whole life asking this question, but would someone love me if they knew? And the answer is yes. Someone has, someone did, and someone always will. He loves the real you.
And today, I feel like some of you, you just need to release shame. You just need to be done. You release shame by confessing, guys, he god, here's what it is. Here's what I've done. He already knows.
You bring it to him, and he's like, and there's grace, son, and there's grace, daughter. And your bad decisions will never exhaust my grace supply, so just keep coming. And I'll keep forgiving because you are the one he loves. You are the one He loves, and I wanna invite you today, wherever you are, in these next few moments to be reminded that there's room at the table for you. Release shame.
Receive grace. Choose to be seen. Choose to be known, and rest being loved. Jesus, thank you that you always come for us. Thank you that when we go back to fishing, you are making us breakfast on the beach.
Thank you that our regrets and our shame can never exhaust Your supply of grace. God, wherever people are watching this from today, right now, right now in this moment, would you begin to draw them to yourself? Would they hear your voice, not the voice of the enemy? Would your voice drown out his voice? Let the voice they hear be, my son, my daughter, I love you.
I forgive you. You can be real with me. You don't have to stay hidden. For the person who's saying, but if they only knew what you're saying is, but if you only knew the love I have for you, would you make it so real, so tangible? Let them know that it's available right now.
And God then give us the courage to embrace and risk being vulnerable because this is what You did and this is what You want for us. In Your name we pray, amen.