You're listening to the coach approach with Diane Ravenscroft, whether
you're an entrepreneur, an ambitious employee or someone interested
in getting the most out of every connection, responsive communication is.
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Diane Ravenscroft, as she gives you the tools to improve any
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All right.
Here's Diane.
I am Diane Ravenscroft and you are listening to the coach approach podcast.
The coach approach is a mindset and a skill set with steps to achieve, avoid and
celebrate along the way towards responsive leadership and improved relationships.
Today, I will share stories about real people who did and did not recognize
the importance of words to lead, engage, inspire, and motivate their teams.
I have attended so many meetings with different kinds of leaders and
individuals that I can now offer the coach approach podcasts to provide listeners
opportunities, to learn and grow through other people's stories, other people's
decisions, other people's mistakes, missed opportunities and success.
These podcasts offer moments to consider other people's perspectives
and explore our thinking about leadership and communication.
Working in the field of organizational psychology has created numerous
opportunities for me to observe research and see patterns in attitudes,
aptitudes, and behaviors, especially communication and leadership styles.
After 20 years, enough time has passed that I get to write and share
about situations and scenarios.
You can benefit from my experiences, my expertise, and the lessons learned
from numerous hardworking people wanting to contribute in their workplaces.
I can tell these stories so that nobody can detect a person or place.
And in the absence of non-disclosure agreements, I am free to focus
on describing the effectiveness of the coach approach from real
situations with great people.
Of course, I'll disguise identities.
At times I may single out certain professions that tend to attract people
with fixed attitudes, like optimism and pessimism, for example, but I will
do my best not to generalize today.
I will introduce you to a techie and a few engineers.
The cybersecurity leader referred to himself as having entered his
profession as an optimistic techie.
He explained that after several years in his new leadership role, he had developed
a mindset grounded in hyper vigilance.
I asked how he would define this state.
He told me to picture a boxing ring and one boxer dodging hedging and
ducking while the other boxer was incessantly pounding away at his head.
He felt he didn't relate to some of his employees, the dreamers, he called them.
He needed dreamers to innovate and develop new products.
And it was part of his role as chief technology officer to inspire the team
by leading weekly meetings and hearing from everyone, the optimistic techie.
Remember, that's how he described himself, explained his
perspective and feelings this way.
Quote.
Remember, I ask people if I can write down what they say, when it's striking
quote, imagine needing to create lofty goals, to inspire collaboration around
division and strategy two hours a week.
When most of your day, every day is about avoiding the potential next bad
virus waiting to attack your network.
He continued, I feel like a superhero most of the time, and
my people are my superpowers.
We're protecting people from the harm, bad actors wanna inflict
on our systems and organization.
And we need to find new ways to keep our customers safe all the time.
I need to figure out a way to call back the dreamer in me.
He said that was first drawn to it.
Then I might be able to relate to my team again, end quote,
and you know who you are.
I hope I did your statements justice, as I repeated your powerful words.
These very challenges stated succinctly by this chief technology officer are exactly
why the coach approach is relevant.
The coach approach is ultimately about transformational communication.
This leader had all the elements of an inspirational speaker.
And I told him this yet, he lacked the ability to see his talents
and natural aptitude to encourage based on feeling pretty burned out.
A lot of the time he was burdened, he was bogged down.
He felt buried under the weight of the responsibility.
The key was that he believed his people were his superpowers.
Did you notice that with this genuine appreciation for his team
expressing his gratitude for their diligence in descriptive ways became
his weekly meeting, starting point.
He started to learn the shift to seek higher ideals and fix his thinking.
Week after week, he built trust and camaraderie by going around
the table, pointing out how each person made a difference.
He pointed out the ways they handled real situations with finesse.
He also started collecting anonymous comments left in the break room
and read emails from customers and coworkers out loud in the meetings.
These became talking points that were used to troubleshoot challenges
and think of new ways to tackle incoming, known, and unknown threats.
You have to anticipate unknowns in his and other businesses slowly.
It became natural to rise above the daily grind to notice the small ways
people were making a big difference.
Someone came up with the idea of creating a banner, having t-shirt.
And using the phrase.
Thank you for all the ways you are making a big difference.
Initially, it was thank you for all the small ways you were making
a big difference, but this leader didn't want to sound like he was
undermining or minimizing effort.
What was crucial for morale that I took a note of was that any total money spent on
these trinkets, he called them like the t-shirts was also given as a bonus or by
choice matched as a donation to charity.
Whatever the employee preferred, not a single t-shirt, but the entire spend.
So if the total of their motivational items was, let's say
$900 each person received or could donate all or some of $2,700.
How did I jump from nine to 2,700 while the leader wanted to convey that each
person's contribution was worth not one or two, but three times the investment
not only was recognition now, a priority, but rewards, including financial rewards,
the optics of spending money on stuff.
When people could use a financial reward was not lost on this leader, he became
sensitive and attuned to what mattered most to his people because he asked them.
Affirmation is transformational awareness is transformational.
If using affirmation and descriptive praise is your norm.
You know what I mean?
If people trust you and believe you, you will have a tremendous
impact with your descriptive praise.
If you're uncertain, whether people will trust and believe
you, the coach approaches for you.
Descriptive praise is powerful as it is an opportunity to teach what
was done well, and also create a conversation that feels affirming.
It's a learned skill, and of course is a significant aspect of the coach
approach through praise stated sincere.
The chief technology officers team was becoming more receptive
to feedback and less resistant to correction through affirmation.
People still needed instructed and guided of course, but with the momentum
building through loyalty and trust, people were becoming more willing to
share their biggest challenges without fear of repercussions or criticism,
the gotcha factor disappeared.
They added business continuity strategies to their product lines and services.
And even turnover was reduced.
The business expanded its market share and was poised to scale their services.
The leadership team adopted the descriptive praise
approach with their teams.
And as far as everyone is concerned, the company is set up for future success.
You can measure these things and I can show you how.
Remember, this individual's significant change that he wondered if it would
be small, that felt daunting at the time, the superhero who didn't relate
to dreamers, he wanted to find ways to understand and connect with his dreamers.
He did it, they did it finding opportunities to connect in meaningful
ways, spread thoughtfulness and innovation through the entire company.
To me.
This is both inspirational and transformational, attentive,
supportive leaders who affirm and cheer us on are quite rare.
If you work for somebody who looks for opportunities to be descriptive in
their praise, you are very fortunate.
I hope you know that this cautious it leader was a breath of fresh air.
He was ready to explore the traits, steps and challenges
required of the coach approach.
One of the first lessons of transformational communication is the
awareness that people come to work for the most part, wired a certain
way as they tackle challenges and opportunities to yield results.
If you work for someone wired to acknowledge your strengths,
you might not be able to imagine reporting to someone who views your
aspirational outlook as an impediment.
I've seen this all or nothing mindset discourage the most resilient person.
The first time I met someone who viewed an aspirational outlook as an impediment,
I had to ask them to repeat themselves.
I literally remember losing my composure and saying, what did you say?
Normally, as a coach, you stay fairly composed.
There are guidelines through the international coaching Federation.
There are ethical guidelines and competencies.
And I remember the day a leader said to me that these people were
toxically positive and he viewed their aspirational outlook as an impediment.
And I said, what did you say as opposed to, could you explain that for me please?
Or something with more poise?
As I said, I've seen this all or nothing mindset discourage
the most resilient person.
As I introduce my coach approach through these podcasts.
I want to emphasize that this model of communication and leadership isn't
focused on trying to change attitudes, though, I will discuss attitude.
How could I not attitude can often be permanent though.
And set early in life.
Attitude is often expressed as glass, half full thinking, the optimist
and glass half empty thinking.
The pessimist, the coach approach instead is about improving aptitude.
Aptitude is about our capacity to learn.
Aptitude is changeable.
And as my French speaking, clients would say, aptitude is malleable.
Love that word malleable.
When you, when you say malleable, hold your hands.
As if you're sculpting with clay and you get the idea of how
aptitude can expand, one's thinking to create endless possibilities.
A change in aptitude can produce a change in results.
An aptitude for lifelong learning offers potential to stay curious and
never stop learning, to challenge ourselves an aptitude to resistance.
On the other hand, and reluctance offers skepticism and hesitation
hesitation to try new ways to relate or connect with people.
Aptitude, like attitude can go one way or the other.
When we tackle improving aptitude attitude may just change.
The coach approach focuses on what's possible.
Excellent.
And uniquely an idea you may not have heard before my excellence
of avoidance exception.
Yes.
Excellence of avoidance, this new kind of excellence.
I'll say it again.
Excellence through avoidance is also a key part of my coach approach.
When an exception is in place for how to describe a typical vision.
I emphasize the importance of achievement and aspirational statements,
these motivate and build trust.
But many years ago, I met people whose mission is to prevent and protect like
the chief technology officer we just met.
So I introduce you to a realistic engineer, his words so far,
you've met an optimistic techie.
Now meet a realistic engineer.
This leader's main job in a utility company is not to poison people.
Remember he described himself as a realist and works basically with water.
So his main job is to not poison people plain and simple.
That's what he told me.
I was invited to present management training.
So I asked for the mission statement in advance to prepare
and customize the learning program.
Remember the days when not everybody had a website, it's really not that long.
The president of the utility company shared the formal mission that
the public sees on their materials then quietly told me that the real
mission is not to poison people.
This is excellence through avoidance, for sure.
A vision stated in negative terms under any other circumstances might not
seem aspirational, but as the provider of clean water, I remain in complete
agreement that not poisoning people is a wonderful vision to achieve and maintain.
Like other engineers who don't want bridges to collapse or surgeons
who don't want anyone to die on their operating table, excellence
through avoidance is important.
So the next time you hear a vision stated in the negative, don't
write people off as negative great people demonstrating resilience
like law enforcement professionals need to be careful out there.
Just like that statement on hill street, blues, that old.
TV sitcom.
We can be careful out there and do our best by avoiding danger,
the coach approach mindset.
Doesn't judge the person for the words they use to express their purpose
engineers in particular, look out for safety and yes, that can sound negative.
The coach approach exists to make sure if the way you describe
your words sounds negative.
People don't perceive you as such.
It can be subtle.
So here's some examples.
A passionate leader said, quote, I'm going to show you how broken our system is.
End quote.
I'm going to show you how broken our system is, depending
on who is in the room.
This leader committed to exactness and precision may be appreciated for their
attention to detail and directness.
I am gonna show you how broken our system is.
Now, put this person with individuals more focused on harmony and wellbeing.
And listen again, I am going to show you how broken our system is.
How do you perceive this person?
They came with solutions, but how do you perceive them learning to be measured
in our communication is an important skill and ties closely to motivation
ties to stamina and overall wellbeing.
The coach approach is a means towards learning transformational
communication, and also not writing people off for sounding
thorough or being problem solvers.
If I have a broken system, I want somebody to show me how broken my system
is and bring me the solutions to fix it.
As we adjust to our listener, we might ask.
In an organization that focuses, let's say on harmony and wellbeing,
we might ask, is this correct?
Instead of declaring outright, this is a mistake.
I have been in meetings where harmony and wellbeing is part of the culture.
Very high up on the culture.
People seek meaningful work, but things go wrong in any organization in any team.
The person who came into the meeting declaring outright.
This is a mistake who knew that money was being lost.
Who knew that revenue was leaving.
The organization was not well received after some coaching, the
person reapproached met with people again and said, I have noticed some
data presented the data and asked.
Is this correct by tailoring the message to the people and the situation.
The listeners were much more receptive, attentive, and engaged.
She got their attention by reframing.
The words seems pretty simple.
This is a mistake as opposed to is this correct?
One produces defensiveness, the other cooperation and engage.
As we learn to tailor our message to people in situations, we become more
effective and responsive as leaders and as communicators because the
coach approach is about aptitude.
People focus on getting the most out of every relationship, particularly
through building meaningful connections.
The individual, when asking is this correct?
As opposed to stating this is a mistake built, meaningful connections.
My happy place is facilitating these kinds of situations that have a positive
impact, a transformational impact.
In fact, and I have been fortunate to do this work through teaching
coaching curriculum, design and consulting for more than two decades.
I have coached entrepreneurs and sales people as well as
engineers and compliance officers.
Most often in finance, manufacturing, technology, and insurance,
what has remained consistent?
No matter the situation or context is that most entrepreneurs and sales people
are wired, possibly hardwired more towards accomplishment, achievement.
And what's possible that may not surprise you didn't surprise me yet.
What did surprise me is this thinking can present a challenge for any go
getter who as an optimist at heart is possibly viewed as an obstacle.
To people wire differently towards caution hesitation or hypervigilance.
Some of my cautious clients tell me optimist sound, toxically, positive.
They sound unrealistic and full of.
Let's say hot air.
I can understand that.
See how easy it is to judge the person by their words, if this happens.
And I think it does, it's even more important to consider the what,
when, how and why of what we say.
I know it's easier said than done.
I know that's probably a pun, but it's true because in the high pace demanding
environments where my clients work, one of my roles is to remind leaders, to remember
the people amid the focus on products and processes, especially in engineering
environments, manufacturing and finance process gets a lot of attention.
It's easy for the needs of people to disappear when products
and process needs attention.
The more intense, the demands of process improvement and product development.
The more likely people's needs become ignored.
The coach approach helps break down all or nothing thinking to expose
and explore scarcity mindset.
A scarcity mindset will discourage demotivate or even demoralize
the people wired to hope, help and achieve in every workplace.
We know there's a culture.
Some people set a tone of a sense of urgency, which can create all kinds of
situations that inspire or inflame people.
Some people love a sense of urgency, keeps them moving, keeps them going,
gives the momentum and traction.
Other people sense of urgency creates panic and uncertainty and
feels very demanding and oppressive.
Many workplaces are seeking to create communities where everyone is welcome
and feels a sense of belonging.
I don't know what you would describe your workplace as, I don't know how
you would describe your culture, but every workplace has one.
As a coach, I invite people to ask more of themselves.
I also recognize and relate to how difficult it may be for leaders to
shift their mindset, to relate to and connect with everyone they serve.
Observant leaders recognize that morale suffers when the pressures
of work are allowed to foster a negative culture, observant leaders
recognize that morale suffers.
When the pressures of work are allowed to foster a negative culture, feeling
overwhelmed can start to override a person's capacity to think big.
I have been there.
I'm guessing you have.
The chief technology officer and engineers learned how to share concerns
and potential in a way that conveyed assurance trust and support these learned
skills, prevent a scarcity mindset.
Should a scarcity mindset.
Start to creep into thinking over time, a negative outlook, blurs,
potential and possibilities.
Fade away.
I speak from experience.
Don't allow, please a scarcity mindset to creep into thinking, because
over time, a negative outlook will blur potential and possibilities
will fade away in stark contrast.
Children are curious and have a tremendous capacity for imagination.
You often hear visionaries speak about the importance of innovation.
I think innovation is simply imagination paired with new ways of
creating something out of nothing.
I want to make an impact by bringing back curiosity, imagination,
inspiration, and motivation to work.
Let's be HAPPI again.
Let's be happier again.
Let's enjoy our work more to be competitive.
We must have stamina.
And if you love what you do with people who share the same commitment and passion.
We will enjoy our work again.
What is that phrase?
If you love what you do, you'd do it for nothing, something like that.
So let's make it happen.
That's one of the goals of the coach approach working together and
enjoying the work in each other.
It's possible.
I've seen it.
Next time we meet, I will share more stories and anecdotes based on real
people applying the coach approach.
I am Diane.
Ravenscroft see you next time.
Thanks for listening.