Show Notes
Welcome to a Journey to Inner Wisdom Podcast. I am Crystal Kotow-Sullivan, your host. I am a wisdomologist and guide. Today I am going to talk about the Enneagram. If you have seen me recently on Facebook or looking at my website you will see that I have been talking about the Enneagram and am in the middle of a 10-week Enneagram Program. But Before I tell you about the Enneagram, Let me set a context as to why I am so passionate about using the Enneagram as a tool on a journey to inner Wisdom.
Over the years in my personal growth and development as well as In my work as a guide, coach, and educator I have read, heard, and encountered these phrases..." we sleep through our lives, when we are awake, we can discover our true essence, we are like zombies walking, working, doing our lives. We are simply unconscious of who we are and why we are here.
Someone recently asked me, what does that mean...I am awake...I know what I am up to...Sure we know what we are doing, and where we are going...but who are we really? We come into this world of time and space and inhabit a human body, then we develop a personality that is our persona or mask to protect ourselves...so who are we under the persona? Why do we need to protect ourselves? We develop our personality from early childhood as we come to certain conclusions about our environment. These conclusions constitute our belief system about ourselves, our caregivers, the world around us.
Our personality gets us through life but we forget who we really are under this mask, we are asleep to our true self, our essence.
If you think back to your early childhood, you may remember things when you felt and experienced your true self - happy, free, connected, joyful, adventurous, and more. But kids are vulnerable and sometimes come to mistaken conclusions about what is happening around them. From their fears and hurts, they create their mask, their persona, their personality. This personality is to protect them from the harshness of the world around them. And we all do a damn good job of creating our personality so that we can find our way in our world. But in the process amnesia sets in and we forget who we really are.
How, then do we rediscover our essence, our true self? How do we get behind the mask?
What we often do is try to figure out how to work with our personality. We read self-help books, we go to therapy, we journal and notice our habits and patterns. This is all good and necessary work. We can figure out how to work with our personality and make some changes.
The thing is that we are still working with our personality and may not have gotten to the beliefs behind what made our personality what it is in the first place.
Getting to those beliefs, private perceptions and patterns will take us down a different path. We will begin to go behind the mask and start to wake up to our true essence. Have you ever wondered why the self-help industry is so large - or that self-help books continue to be best sellers after decades and thousands of books being published? We long to be known...to ourselves and to others. Our essence, our soul is pushing us to go behind the mask of our personality and discover our true self.
And there are different ways to do that... for some people reading a book can wake them up - and life will no longer be the same. that has happened to me numerous times over my life. Authors like Claudia Black, Harville Hendrix, Carolyn Myss, Jean Houston, have impacted and changed my course in life. For some people, it is literature or fiction that can transform them.
For other people, it may be a conference. I was once listening to Sharon Wegshieder Cruse at an Adult Children of Alcoholics conference and after 30 minutes she said something and I had to leave to take care of something critical in my life...it was a life-transforming moment. I was never the same person after that moment of clarity.
For some people, it is working with a coach, whether a life coach, business coach, soul coach or spiritual coach. or working with a therapist or counsellor. Over the years I have worked with several therapists and spiritual directors and presently with a soul coach. Each experience took me deeper into who I am. Working with an objective professional opened my mind, heart and soul to new perspectives about myself and the world.
When I worked on my MA in counselling psychology, part of our requirement was to go to an Adlerian therapist. This was amazing as my underlying beliefs became clear to me and I was able to create new beliefs that were more supportive of my heart's desires.
A workshop, a retreat, a program, a class, all have the potential to wake us up if we are open to waking up! Just as meditation, journaling, yoga, travel, art, music, etc., etc. I think deep down we long to know our true self and we are always looking for ways to wake up.
The universe provides us with endless opportunities to wake up. If we pay attention.
The enneagram is one of those tools that can wake us up - generally, someone who wants to know more is already waking up and searching for a way to become more fully aware.I have been working with, reading about, using, practicing with, playing with, researching the enneagram off and on for over 30 years. It is such a dynamic tool, that I continue to learn and deepen my learning about how effective it is in our awakening process.
When my children were just entering their teenage years, we did a multi-family enneagram weekend. There were 7 parents and 7 kids between 9 and 15. As a community, we continued our conversations about how the enneagram helped us understand ourselves and our children and vice versa. Even after 25 years we sometimes relate to one another in an enneagram conversation!
So what is the enneagram? The enneagram is an ancient tool of wisdom. Some of the ancient Mystery Schools of Greece and Mesopotamia mention the enneagram. There is also evidence that the enneagram was part of the Sufi tradition. It is also rooted in mathematical laws and patterns. There are nine stopping points on the enneagram circle...by the way, ennea means 9 in greek. Each of the points is related to other points on the circle and we can learn from each of the ennea points. We gravitate to one of the ennea points but are influenced by other points depending on whether we are open to growth or we are regressing and hiding out.
Some people use the enneagram only on a surface level as a psychological tool to understand personality types much like the Myers Briggs Type Indicator.
For me, the real richness of the enneagram is to take it to a deeper level where we begin to look at
- why I developed my particular persona in the first place
- What are my blind spots
- how to recognize when I am living unconsciously
- how do I wake up and discover my true essence in my ennea point
- What can I learn from the other spaces around the circle?
- How do I continue to live my authentic self without judging my personality/persona/mask
Right now I am nearing the end of my 10-week Enneagram program. Let me walk you through how we are exploring each of the eanna spaces.
The overall approach is the Awareness, Beliefs and Curiosity Cycle. We begin exploring each Ennea space with Awareness -What is the centre of knowing for each ennea space...is it body, heart or mind?
What is the perspective of the ennea space?
What is the focus of attention of each ennea point?
We then begin to look at Beliefs - these are recognized as the patterns that we engage in in our lives, the blindspots - what we don't know that we don't know, and the pain or passion of the ennea space.
As we move from beliefs to curiosity, we begin to explore how the movement of growth for the ennea space, both in the wings of the space and the lines of growth. We can learn from each ennea space, but there are some spaces that are more connected to our own space.
This is done in a stance of curiosity as it leaves us open to possibility and to growth. When we judge our behaviours, blindspots and shadow, we shut outselves off. Our brain shuts down as we have made a conclusion. Our brain loves conclusions because it means the work is done! so Curiosity is essential for the path to transformation.
We then look at how we would show up in the world when we move from our shadow self to the high side. We discover our superpower, and are able to get in touch with our deepest desires. We are waking up. The enneagram can continue to reawaken and deepen our sense of our true self. It is like a spiral...certainly not linear!
When My son had a psychotic break 20 years ago, I went to sleep, I did not want to feel the pain and loss. Every so often I would surface and wake up but the pain was intense. As an ennea 7, I avoid pain and when I do, I miss out on a lot of life. I worked hard over those years to leave guilt behind, to let my son lead his own life to make his own choices...but it was painful when he would not choose the healthy path.
With the wisdom of the enneagram, I know that my centre of intelligence is my mind. And I am Claircognizant which also keeps me in my head. I am comfortable with my body/gut intelligence but I have paid less attention to my heart in my life. So, that is an area of growth for me at this time in my life.
So why do I tell you this? Because The enneagram has been a tool of growth and healing for me. It has helped me face my shadow and challenges me to stay awake and be true to my essence. Perhaps it could be a tool that will guide you on your journey as well. There are many books and websites that are available to learn about the enneagram. I recommend a book called "The Enneagram Made Easy" by Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
It is a good place to start if you are interested in knowing more.
I hope you will join me again. I will be reviewing Bradley Nelson's book "The Emotion Code" as I continue with the E of the ABCs of Wisdom. Also, I will do another episode on the enneagram with a colleague and good friend who has also been using the enneagram for many years as a Coach and consultant.
Until next time...enjoy the journey