Zhen (00:00)
Coming up.

Tina (00:03)
So it was like wanting something, but pulling away. Wanting something, pulling away. Okay, AKA fear. So this was like my whole life.

You're not rushing, you're flowing into each task and you're doing it with grace and with ease

if they haven't realized their own dreams, whether it's conscious or not, they don't want you to realize your own dreams

you can, without knowing it, be easily addicted to chaos. you look for people that had, that's gonna bring that into your life.

Zhen Hou (00:39)
You're listening to the Zhen Podcast, a show focused on mental, physical, and relationship health. Each episode features conversations with different guests who share real-life experiences that could be from their own journeys to the work they've done with their clients.

We explore what actually help people move forward, whether that comes from science, spirituality, or day-to-day simple habits that could make meaningful differences. The goal of the podcast is to provide clarity and tools you can apply in your own life. Welcome to the podcast.

Zhen Hou (01:14)
Welcome back to the show. Today we have Tina Marx, who is a flow coach and a business coach. And Tina has been so successful in her career. And she also has her own podcast called transparent with Tina, which is highly educational. I personally listened to several episodes, have learned so much from her. And today we're so lucky to have her here on the show with us to talk about fear and freedom. So Tina, welcome to the show.

Tina (01:41)
So great to be here and so nice to meet you.

Zhen Hou (01:44)
You as well, was so blown away by your bio when I was doing the, the interview research and you know, your story is so transformative.

let you do a quick little self introduction about who you are. will you do as well as how did you get into this business?

Tina (02:01)
Okay, you know, as you said, I am a flow coach and a business coach. I have been coaching real estate agents this month for the past eight years. I have been life coaching. You know, there's all these terms, life coaching. I used to say peak performance coaching. In fact, I may go back to peak performance coaching because I think some people go, well, what is flow coaching? so flow coaching is, you know,

is learning how to be in flow as opposed to having this kind of a day, right? When you're in we've all had those kind of days, right? Where we, it just feels like you're just flowing. You're not rushing, you're flowing into each task and you're doing it with grace and with ease and with joy, right? As opposed to most of my life rushing, And I felt like I could never.

Zhen Hou (02:33)
Right,

Tina (02:54)
slow down until it was like everything was done. Like I was not the type of person that could take naps or breaks. You know, I'm kind of getting ahead of myself because this I did not really realize until a couple of years ago. So, you know, I grew up in the desert. I had four ⁓ older, well, that's not true. There was five of us that were real. My dad was married five times.

So there's real halves and steps, but in my household there was four other siblings. raised it with a lot of money. Tennis court in the backyard, on a golf course, went to private schools, camps, tennis lessons, every kind of lesson you can imagine. And I just never, I always felt really afraid and really alone.

And I struggled with that like my whole life. And what would happen when I would question that part of me, that part of you that is the judger inside of us, stop complaining. What do you want? You're going to private school. You have a beautiful house and this and that. And who are you? Now you're just being a spoiled little brat. That was the conversation in my head going on. it's funny because I've written two books, too.

And the first book that I wrote, it took me eight years to write that reason, going back and forth in my head. In fact, I write that in the introduction. I say, who am I to be writing this? I didn't graduate from college. I don't have a degree. So I'd put it down. And then there would be this voice inside of me that would say, yeah, but I think you've got something to say. So I'd write a little bit more. And this went on for eight years. I look back now and I go,

I can't believe I actually finished that book because that's another thing with my whole life. I would start something, I'd get to almost the finish line and then I would stop it. That's called self-sabotage. Did I know that that's what I was doing? No, because this is very, very strong it, you know, it's like an attorney. It'll hold its case, right? So this is, you know, all of my previous...

When I was younger and growing up, I had great jobs. I remember I worked at Capitol Records. Here's another example of getting in your own way. I was working at Capitol Records and I was up for a promotion. And instead of being excited, there was only one other person that was up for the job. I was so nervous and I did not know why. I just was questioning myself and I basically pulled out of the running.

So it was like wanting something, but pulling away. Wanting something, pulling away. Okay, AKA fear. So this was like my whole life. And then when I was 30, I got my masters in metaphysics and things started to make sense. My mom always raised us spiritual. So that was a big benefit for me. So I got that. And then I went to science of mind.

I got Science Mind 1, Science Mind 2, basically your thoughts become things. You know, we all know what that is. You know, but I'm telling you, things just, we're not shifting. I knew it up here. It's one thing to know it up here, but unless your body is calm resonates with it, you cannot think your way out of certain situations is really shut down.

So I got into coaching. I wanna say coaching found me because since I was little, people would open up to me 100%. I even like, I remember I was at a dinner party, didn't know anybody. This man next to me started opening up to me that his son had passed away the year before and he started crying and like 20 minutes later looked at me and said, I don't know why I'm telling you all that. the reason I'm telling you this story,

is because I have that innate ability. People trust me to open up to me and I enjoy it. And I always seem to have the right answers for them, I don't know how I got the answers. I was thinking about this, because I knew I was going to be interviewed by you today. I remember in high school, the only class that I got an A plus was in psychology. And I like never studied in high school. And I went to the top rated school in the country. So I don't even know how I did that.

I would go in, I would take the exam, I'd be the first one out and I'd get the highest grade in class. Looking back, that was me, my internal knowingness knew that's the direction that I should go into. I started life coaching, I don't know, 15 years ago. I didn't like the marketing part of it and that's when I found

the real estate coaching where I'm an independent contractor and they feed me, ⁓ And I just knew that I was here to help other people. And they say oftentimes your message is

it's so true. It's like, instead of saying to yourself, why is this happening to me in a negative way, why is this happening to me? Where is the lesson here? What are you trying to teach me? Right? What we do, what we've been conditioned to do Zhen is to look outside of ourselves for the answer. the old me, if I had a decision to make, I would call everybody I knew.

their advice, okay? And then that would make me more confused than ever because, well, five people said this and six people said that. What is that telling me? That's telling me that I don't trust my own intuition, that is, I have found the most important aspect so far in my life. I finally am trusting my intuition.

And when you trust your intuition, yeah, everything starts to unfold for you.

Zhen Hou (08:54)
this is our first time connect. I can relate to you in so many different ways. I, had a career, which is from the outside, everything looked good, but then my intuition is kind of guiding me to a different route. But sometimes I feel

I don't know how to listen to it. Do you think that when people are tuning into their intuition, how do they know what's external noises and what is their true?

inner voice, telling them what to do

Tina (09:24)
I hear you. And I remember having a question for somebody on my podcast saying, how do know it's your intuition or a trigger? that, I can remember a relationship that I was in. And I remember I started feeling things were shifting part. Well, you I'm an empath. So when you're an empath, I mean, you feel things a lot deeper.

I'm also an HSP. I did not know that then, But I remember, I remember I didn't like his answer. And I said, I texted him right after we got off the phone. said, me my stuff back. Cause it was a long distance relationship. And I remember my legs were shaking and everything. And they say that if it's a trigger, your body reacts in a different way. Your body, like my legs started shaking. I had to sit down. I was panicking. If it's your intuition, it's more of a calm.

of a calm, you know, and don't get this confused too, some of the things that we were, questions that we had like looked at earlier. Fear can make you feel unnerved, okay? I'll just give you an example. I was just invited by a friend of mine to do something.

and I'm trying to decide if I want to do it. Part of me is going, am I having, is the fear because it's new and I don't, you know, I've never done it before. Cause my mind is coming up with all reasons why I shouldn't do it. I am trying to break it down. I'm going, is it, it, is it because it's new or it's because it's not a right fit for me. So I think, you know, instead of going up here, we need to calm ourselves and

The biggest lessons that I've learned this year, or probably in my whole life, is really how to regulate your nervous system. You know, my whole life, my nervous system was on fight or flight. And I didn't know that. I just thought that was normal. I think most people are. They're in fight or flight. When you are in fight or flight, it's very hard to access your intuition or trust it. it. Because if your body doesn't feel safe, how do you feel safe enough to trust your intuition?

Zhen Hou (11:30)
how do you tune into your intuition, calm your body down?

Tina (11:35)
behavior stacking.

And I don't want this to put everybody off going. Well, that's a lot I never gonna be able to do that every day I started with one thing do another thing and then once you do that It's just like you know You would never not brush your teeth every day hair or put a deodorant on right? So those are all behavior stacking so so what I do every single morning the minute I get out of bed is I put

One of two things, I either put my brain tap on, it was developed by Dr. Patrick Porter. It is a device where you have earbuds, it's an ear set, you know, like the old kind. It's got red and blue light therapy going in it, and it's got binaural beats. Binaural beats, what that does is it deregulates your prefrontal cortex to let your brain, your mind relax,

and then he is talking, whatever one you wanna talk about, whether it's addiction or it's anxiety or whatever, he's talking on top of these binaural beats. So he's basically pre-wiring your subconscious mind, people don't, that's like the Rolls Royce of this, started out with, you can do it for free if you go on to YouTube and you type in, am affirmations.

with binaural beats, there's different frequencies. 528 is for one, there is a six hertz and everything. It's fascinating. But you do to listen to it with a headset because different sounds are going in different ears, which are going to different parts of your brain to make it relax, okay? in the day when I was starting out, I didn't know any, I don't even know if this, it was probably around, I just didn't know. So I was doing I am affirmations because anything that you put after the word I am,

It comes. I am smart. You're gonna get smarter. So this is like forced entry, if you see what I'm saying. the earbuds in and you don't have to concentrate. It's reprogramming your subconscious mind. So that is one of the things I do in the morning. I also have a grounding mat. If I can't get outside and go on the grass for five minutes.

extremely

important because otherwise you're like, wow, wow, wow. And I also have four different kinds of ADD. the grounding mat works. Exercise, absolutely. Journaling. Journaling. When you have a question in your life or you want to know something or just kind of guidance for the day. And somebody I interviewed actually gave me this tip. Instead of just taking pen to paper, at the top of the page, write.

What do I need to know? So what you're doing is you're asking your higher self, you're asking the universe. I mean, it's, all connected, right? It's all connected. And it's amazing what comes out, you know? So if you're trying to make a decision too, for example, like I am, I'm to be doing some journaling this weekend, right? Because, you know, my mom taught me that we have the answers inside of us. We just have to get quiet enough to do that. Meditation,

⁓ spending time alone, not overworking, and then breathing exercises. So for any of you who have anxiety, which probably most people in the world do at is box breathing is great for anxiety. So that's four counts in through the nose, hold for four seconds, out through the mouth for a second, hold and repeat.

maybe 10 times, it calms your nervous system down. It's really all about calming your nervous system down because if you can calm your nervous system down, that's how you access your intuition. Because if not, if your nervous system is not relaxed and does not feel safe, gonna be able to access that. You're not gonna be able to access creative ideas

Zhen Hou (15:20)
That's awesome. I mean, it just reminded me when I was younger, I jumped from one career to the other because I was in so much chaotic energy. as you might be aware, I was in real estate for a little while.

went into the industry for the wrong reason. But I think at that moment, I was just so unclear about what I wanted,

whatever career at that moment can validate my self-worth that was what was going for but But real estate definitely was a character building process that kind of started the journey of healing and therapy session

Tina (15:47)
Yes.

Zhen Hou (15:55)
there are many people out there, they have a family.

They are stuck in a career that they might not feel the joy, the fulfillment, but they don't want to leave

what is your advice for people to gradually make the switch,

Tina (16:12)
Yeah. So that's the key word, gradually. So what used to stop me is if I couldn't figure out the plan from A to Z, how it was going to come to fruition, I wouldn't even start. I'm like, right? This is twofold. It's about enjoying the journey. such a rush to get to the end, eventually death.

So why are we in such a rush? Why are we in such a rush? Because of an unregulated nervous system, anxiety, right? I would say starting off, they know, so if this person knows they want to leave this job, they're not happy, they can't afford to leave it yet, but they already know, have identified what they want to do, I would say get up an hour earlier every day and do something for half an hour.

minimum every day that's going to work towards that because one you take the first step Then it reveals the next step then it reveals and then you start getting more confidence and you know what and if you're open and you're like in a Receiving mode you're gonna see those opportunities gonna cut it's gonna drop down like magic because let me tell you something when the universe God Whatever you want to say wants you to learn something and wants you to get something It's gonna keep putting it in front of you Okay

And you could keep saying no to it out of fear, but I mean, it's like with this, it kept coming back to me. It kept coming back. I mean, I had more careers than you, know, and I know that people, naysayers, I call them dream smashers in my book. Most people are not gonna support you. gonna support you are the people that have realized their own dreams. Not saying success, success, I'm saying their own dreams.

Because if they haven't realized their own dreams, whether it's conscious or not, they don't want you to realize your own dreams because it reflects back to them. And then they feel like, am I not going for it too? But as long as we all kind of stay down here, I can manage that, So, you know, I would say just take, do something.

every day that brings you one step closer. Give yourself grace, give yourself compassion, give yourself some time. Don't be in a rush. Have fun with it. You know, I mean, that's the thing. I think we've been so conditioned also to believe that, you know, I was thinking about last night, I don't like the word work. Cause you know, I'll say I've done the work, you know? And yes, it is work. I will say that, but work kind of signals in your brain hard, you know what I mean?

And I think if we just relax more into it, then we're gonna open ourselves up to be able to do it more. Like think about it. Think of the difference when you say, have to do this or I get to do this. You've heard that before. feels different. So instead of saying, have to do this, I get to do this and I just become curious. And if you don't know what it is, but you know you're miserable in your job, you could do is just go, what am I curious about?

What else out there am I curious about? And if you can't think of anything there, think about what you like to do as a kid. That's always like the best starting point if you really are struggling what purpose is.

Zhen Hou (19:39)
That makes perfect sense. And I think that I want to hone in on having fun. for me, when I was growing up, I always tell people I don't have a hobby. I watch movies sometimes, but then I don't really do anything for fun because I was conditioned to always be productive. everything I do have a reason, right? Like if, if whatever I do doesn't have an outcome, that doesn't benefit me in terms of growth.

Tina (19:54)
Yeah, me too.

Zhen Hou (20:03)
I would not do it. I feel it's a waste of

Tina (20:04)
Yep. Yep.

Zhen Hou (20:06)
time. And I also feel I was in a race with myself. in my mind, time is running out and I'm always a little behind and I can't show people my results unless they're perfect, To my standard, even though I'm the one. Right.

Tina (20:19)
Yeah, man, you and I are exactly, that's a dysregulated

nervous system, hon.

So you felt, yeah, was nothing you ever did was good enough, is you're saying, right? Even hard you work, yep, you never gave yourself the praise.

Zhen Hou (20:30)
Never.

No. And then, so when I first got into real estate and the reason why I keep bringing this up is because that was the biggest learning lesson in my entire life where you know, taking it slow was something I didn't do.

so once I was in real estate, what I didn't know is as a new agent, you have to door knock or cold call generate leads. And I just remember thinking, my God, it's COVID time. Even if people know you, they're like, please six feet apart.

And during that time, no one's going to open a door for you. And I remember going on those journeys and like knocking on door. People are like, are you crazy? who are you? But I will say it wasn't fun.

Tina (21:13)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Well, you know what? At least you're learning it now. learning it now because most people go to the grave and they don't, you know? Here's the deal. When we come onto this planet, look at any child. I've said this a million times. Look at any child. They know exactly what they want. They know who they are. You ask them what they want. I'm gonna be a police officer when I get older. I'm gonna be a nurse. They know. There's no hesitation. It's not like, well, I don't know. What am I good at? What do you think I'm good at?

They have the joy in anything. They build things. This is the state that we're all trying to get back to whether we realize it or not. Okay? Life is supposed to be joyful and a journey. the ones who are putting these limitations in our head and making it difficult. It's not our fault. We have society that has dictated this to us, authoritarian figures, parents, whatever, you know?

All of a sudden you start getting older, responsible. Well, that's not gonna make you a lot of money. You I wanna be an artist. Well, you wanna be a starving artist? And we start attaching all these labels in our head. Every time you think something or say something, it gets recorded in your subconscious mind, okay? 80%, 80, let's see, 80 % of our thoughts, we have about 60,000 plus thoughts going through our mind every day. of them are negative self-limiting beliefs.

So if you're not rewiring those thoughts, you're gonna live your life based on those thoughts, which are unconscious by the way, so you're not gonna know. You're just gonna feel compelled and driven to obey those thoughts. That's why I do the I am affirmations every single morning to reprogram, okay? But I think, I mean, I've taken it to the step further with now I'm working on is regulating my nervous system.

And I think another thing that people, were so many things out there. Like I just did an interview with Nina Elise yesterday. Or was it? I don't know. Yeah, it was yesterday. And she, I don't know if you've ever heard of the human design, So why this is so important, I'm a projector. Okay. So you know the feeling when you were younger and you felt like, what's wrong with me? Why can't I figure it out? And I just have to.

You know, you're doing, doing, doing, but you're not really successful at any of it. You know, you just feel like you're burning yourself out, right? design as a projector, I need a lot of downtime. It's called waiting for the invitation. I'm designed for people to approach me. Now, if I was a generator, my son's a manifestor. He's meant to go do, manifest some great things. Then there's the generator, go, go. Those are the people that can work.

15, 16 hours a day. And I remember I used to compare myself to these people and go, what's wrong with me? That's the question mark everybody has. What's wrong? There's nothing wrong with you. We are all unique and individual, this person, you know, we compare. Why? I am not designed that way. And it was such a relief to know that. It was a relief to find out that I was an HSP. Why? I don't like going out at night.

you know, when it's noisy and, you know, it's not that I'm sober, I drink, but you go out at night and people start drinking and the noise level for me, you might think it's a one, for me it's a five. I didn't know this my whole life. Again, what is wrong with me? Why don't I want to go out? You're not going to meet many people if you just sit in your house all day, you know, but I do need a lot of downtime and I go in my bedroom for them. Like, you have a beautiful living room, why don't you do that?

It's another thing with HSP, small dark areas. All this, HSP is a highly sensitive There's only about 20 % of the people that are a highly sensitive person. You know what I was thinking about this morning, because I knew that I was gonna have this and I'm like, I don't know if I was born in HSP and born in empath or that followed my dysregulated nervous system. Because it and I kinda had the same upbringing.

Zhen Hou (24:50)
What's it? What's HSP? I

Tina (25:12)
And when you feel like, I always felt like there, I was in fight or flight, like, you know, and that was from my dad. No matter what I did, it was not good enough. had a complaint. I'd be walking home from the bus going, what did I do wrong today? I know I'm to get, you know what I mean? It was just, he was, so, you know, from zero to seven, most of your belief systems are in place. By the time you're 11, you're done. You're like fully cooked.

So think about it. I was raised with a, I was going to say a tyrant, I might as well. You know, so how else would I expect to be as an adult, be gentle with ourselves because you know, that is your nervous system is trying to protect you. It's going, I don't want to feel that again. go, it's okay to let go. I know you were protecting me.

now, let's relax. And if you can get your nervous system to relax, everything changes.

Zhen Hou (26:14)
do you have any recommendations on drawing boundaries? How do they protect themselves and not let this negative loop going even further?

Tina (26:22)
Well, understanding first of all, okay, what you're pretty much describing are trauma bonds. And you know, when you've had a lot of anxiety and you've had a lot of trauma in your life, you can, without knowing it, be easily addicted to chaos. you look for people that had, that's gonna bring that into your life. Even

The brain is always looking for the familiar. were raised with a lot of chaos and a lot of trauma, it's going to look for those situations it's trying to conserve energy. so hard to habits get out and be uncomfortable because that requires more energy for the brain. So the brain's like, I don't want to do that. I don't care if you're not going anywhere in this relationship and it's harmful.

you know, I'm gonna stay right here. Recognizing that is number one, two, by leaving a situation, there's always an uncomfortableness, okay? When you leave a partner, you leave a job, it's the fear of the unknown. if you just reframe your mind and find the joy and the curiosity in what's next,

When people say don't have the time, it's like, how much do you want to heal? So, and I know that there's always time. I mean, and my clients that say that I don't have the time to do this. I get them to time block. And when they start doing that, they start to realize how much time are you really scrolling on the phone? How much time are you really escaping? Cause that's just an escape.

But don't tell me there's not enough time. thing that they could do for free, there is a book, and now they've made it into a movie. It's called The Miracle Morning. It's a true story, and it's the acronym SAVERS. So S stands for silence, which is meditation. A stands for affirmation. V stands for visualization. E stands for exercise. R stands for reading or podcasts.

And the last one is S for scripting or journaling. this should not, outside of the exercise, I I exercise more than 10 minutes a day, but all of those besides the, can be done within an hour. think, or not I think, I know, when you wake up every morning, you don't realize how many negative thoughts you may have. You don't even realize it, okay? So if you don't put yourself into alignment, your day's gonna go that way.

all my clients, they say first hour, hour and a half that you wake up, you're not allowed to touch an electronic. You cannot open your computer, your emails, your texts, your social, nothing. That is your time to reconnect with yourself. So if you do what I just said, the savers, now it's like putting your armor on. So now, watch this, example. Now, if they get a real estate agent, ⁓ they just got a text that their escrow fell through.

my God, I was counting on that. I don't have any other closings this month. That's, that's before that's if you don't do the savers, if you do the savers, trust me, you're going to react in a different way. And it's about responding, not reacting. You don't want to react to things. We want to have a choice of how we respond to things, whether it's a person that we have to have a conversation with.

or a situation that blindsides us like that. And then also remembering everything is happening to us, Not happening to us, it's happening for us. It's happening for us. You know, and was saying the other day, you've heard the expression, everything's either a blessing or a blessing in disguise. We label it good or bad.

If it's coming to us, it's something we need to look at for our growth, for our expansion. But we don't want to look at anything that's uncomfortable or out of the ordinary, right? We've been conditioned to think that life is just supposed to be this smooth line. Nothing is that way. There's the ebb the flow. The ocean doesn't stand still.

And you know what you'll do? You'll hit that goal and you'll be like, you'll make another one. Like how many times when you hit a goal, that's another thing I have my clients do at the end of the day, write down everything that they did well. And then another column for everything that they could work on. we're the first people to call ourselves out, to bash ourselves.

Like for me, in my head, it would be like, well, it's about time you did that. It's about time you hit that goal, right? Instead of going, yes, and like relishing in it and giving yourself that moment really, I say this too. I mean, I have a son and it's like, what we do to our inner child. Like you would never treat your child like that,

Do know who Gabby Bernstein is?

Zhen Hou (31:21)
No.

Tina (31:22)
she's amazing. She's written probably 25 books. Oprah named her as one of the biggest thought leader for 2000 or the 20th century. came out with a book called Self Help. it's based on family systems. Okay. model, obviously. So it talks about that we have all these different identities inside of us. There's the six year old design. There's the 16 year old. There is the, you know, the rebellious teenager.

The five-year-old is going, I need more teenager that's like, don't do that. You don't need to do that. You know what I'm saying? And once you start identifying with them, those are called, we often call them shadow selves. So accept everything as long as society accepts it, then you've got parts of you that you're not accepting. That's what's happening.

and that's called your shadow self. But once you say and you sit down with that part coddle it like you would a child, And you accept it. Now you become integrated you're gonna start loving yourself because what you've done is you've abandoned certain parts of you. That's why you're not fully loving yourself.

Zhen Hou (32:32)
Sometimes I feel like different parts of me fear one another.

So I feel they are not aligning. They're not having a conversation.

should I be one version of myself or how do I be multiple version of myself

Tina (32:48)
allowing and stop the judging. Right? And the more that you honor yourself, the more you start doing behavior stacking, you whether everything you ask yourself this question, like if you know that you should be, it's somebody at the gym. about celery juice cause her guts all screwed up. And she's like, I hate the way that tastes. whatever you, whatever steps you are doing to

honor yourself, okay? That's a form of self love. And the more that you do that, the more behaviors throughout the day, you're gonna start seeing those voices are gonna start going to the wayside. I also said this on a podcast the other day. You're also gonna see these destructive behaviors, whether it's scrolling endlessly, any way of numbing out, gambling, sex, whatever it is, they will naturally start to fall away. That's my experience. start to fall away.

do we go into those behaviors? We go into those behaviors because we don't want to feel the uncomfortableness of what we're feeling at the moment. But sit with ourselves and be, yeah, I want to hear you. What are you saying? Tell me what you're saying. if you keep shutting that teenager down or that five-year-old that wants to, you know, that was one of my things. It's like, what really came up for me is I'm not having enough fun.

feel like, you because you and I, we've talked about this, upbringing, I've really got to watch that because even if I'm not coaching a client, oh, well, I should be doing more on my Instagram or I should be building a course, you're going to have burnout.

Zhen Hou (34:21)
I also want to talk about this fear of how we presented to the public, it's just not good enough.

we all have those expectations towards ourselves,

I think fear do play a big part You don't want to be judged. You don't want to hear the same criticism over and over again.

When we interact with the external world, how do we stay true to who we are, in the present moment? This is a journey to get to know yourself, but how do we always be authentic versions of ourselves?

Tina (34:51)
Great question, great question. So one is protecting your energy. You were talking about boundaries, very important, okay? You have to understand that energy bleeds and you can't go out into the world. When you step outside of your house, you're surrounded by a ton of energy, okay? So which can, it's like radio signals, right? So especially if you're a highly sensitive person like me and an empath where I feel that five times greater,

I know that I need more downtime, I need to be in more, But it would be spending more time on your own. Let's say you have five kids. You're like, I have five kids. So you know what? You create a space that's your own for 20 minutes a day to get quiet and go within. And the more that you do this and the more that you start trusting the process and trusting yourself it starts to heal.

The more you start to heal, the more you start to trust in everything. And you know, I say this all the time, like I interviewed somebody who's thinking about coming into my schedule and I said, listen, I just got to tell you, you have to be committed. You You have to be committed because I can't work with you if you're just interested, is where lot of the pain and suffering comes from is by resisting what is,

I got a $5,000 assessment from my HOA. Now, the old me would have flipped out. This me was like, that ouch, but there's nothing I can do about it. So what do we do is we resist what is, and then we create more struggle, more trauma for ourselves, and we're expending the most precious thing that we have is our energy. can you believe that? I got an assessment.

Zhen Hou (36:17)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Tina (36:32)
How many can relate to that? Right? on and on. So accept what is and accept and surrender to the fact that the universe is always conspiring for your highest good. going back to the beginning, it's like an energy frequency, okay? You what you are. But if you've got a lot of negative thoughts going through your head,

you're going to attract that. So be very, very conscious of your words coming out of your mouth and your thoughts. So for example, if you say, I'm so stupid, say, I am so smart. That's called neutralizing a thought. Now it's not being recorded in your brain. So that's what I would say, creating some quiet space to yourself, surrendering to that everything is happening for your highest good. And what I used to do, ⁓ I do that.

Yeah, when everything was going well, I would do that. And then when things would hit the fan, I would like, ⁓ yeah, I'm out, right? you gotta pick a side. You can't be Switzerland, you gotta pick a side. So that's what I would say is really be committed to this work and empathetic. But you know, always find a safe space, safe being the operative word to be alone by yourself. Lighting a candle, staring at a candle puts your brain into like a trance.

body calm down. You cannot think outside of the box. You can't be creative. You can't make bold moves if you're just in a heightened state all the time. You just can't, gonna miss all the opportunities, because you're a heightened state, you're like this.

Zhen Hou (38:01)
Right, exactly. Well, I feel like we just got the conversation started. I have more thoughts, but hopefully you will come back onto the show for me. And then I, I've been taking notes and I just feel like there's so many areas we can dive into. But before we let you go, where can we find you? Like if you want to work with you, you know, you mentioned you have books written, like how can people support you?

Tina (38:03)
Right?

Yeah, I could talk to you all day.

Mm-hmm.

yeah, they're on

Amazon. Yeah, my books, everything, and I've got products too, is on my website, which is transparentwithtina.com. You can always DM me on social media, it's Tina, period, M-A-R-X. Those would be the two best places to get ahold

Zhen Hou (38:46)
I love that. And for those of you guys have not checked out her podcast, transparent with Tina, please do so. It is incredible. Thank you so much, Tina, for coming to the show and we'll see you very soon.

Tina (38:54)
Thank you.