Narrator: What would you give to radically improve, even transform what matters most in your relationships? You can thrive in your
career, acquire wealth, or build an excellent reputation. But if your relationships aren't thriving, nothing else matters. Let's explore and begin to practice six foundational principles, including how to give your relationships the highest value, love as Jesus loves you, and communicate from the heart so we can walk a practical path for fulfilling God's intention in all our relationships, especially the difficult ones.
Rev. Terence Gray: I need some help. I'm making a mess over here. I've I've made a complete mess. Does anyone know how to put the toothpaste back into the tube after it's been pushed out? Anybody.
Anybody. That's right. You can't do it. And if you've tried, you know that once it's out, it's out. And our words are just like that.
Once our words leave our mouths, we can't take them back. We can apologize, we can explain, but we can't undo them. What's done is done. So if our words have the ability to leave a lasting impression and make a permanent impact on the people we interact with, wouldn't we want to be thoughtful and careful with our words? If I knew that what was about to come out of my mouth had the potential to leave a permanent mark on the heart of my wife, on the self confidence of my child, on the conscience of my friend, wouldn't I pause before I let the words out?
Friends, our words have power and that's why the Bible puts so much emphasis on the way that we use our words. Proverbs eighteen twenty one says, the tongue has the power of life and death. Whoever said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me May have been a good poet, but they were wrong. In reality, sticks and stones might leave temporary bruises, but words can leave wounds that last a lifetime. So today's focus is this.
How do we love people with our words? How do we leverage our God given gift of speech to love others? The first thing we have to do is a hat check. That's right. We have to do a hat check.
A hat check before sharing our words. What's the hat? Hat is hungry, angry, or tired. I have to do a hat check before I have any serious conversations. I don't know about you, but I have to do that.
When I'm hungry, angry, or tired, I'm not at my best. You're not at your best. Best. And the person I'm in relationship with isn't at their best either. If you're hungry, angry, or tired, it's probably not the best time to have a conversation about something significant.
Give yourself some time and give the other person some time as well. So I just want to start with that first thing first. We have to do a hat check. Next, we have to love people with honest words. In Ephesians chapter four verse 15, Paul talks to the church about speaking the truth in love.
Friends, love tells the truth. Love lets you know when you have spinach in your teeth. Alright? That's how you know somebody real really loves you, they they don't let you walk around with their spinach in your teeth. Honesty might not always look like love, but honesty and love go hand in hand.
It takes a lot of courage to speak honestly sometimes, but this is what God calls us to do. Proverbs twenty seven five says, open rebuke is better than hidden love. Open rebuke is better than hidden love. Real love doesn't hide behind silence. It tells the truth even when it's hard because the truth spoken in love is a gift.
Love people with careful words. Ephesians chapter four twenty six says, in your anger, do not sin. Do do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anger is a healthy and normal emotion, but when anger controls our words, it can damage a relationship. Careless words leave scars, but careful words bring peace.
Next, love people with affirming words. I love that word affirm. The word affirm means to make firm or to make strong. Have you ever been made strong by someone else's words? Maybe a coach, a teacher, a parent, or a friend.
You can do that same thing for someone else. Ephesians four verse 29 said, do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, making them firm. Every word we speak either tears down or builds up. Every sentence is either a wrecking ball or a building block. In closing, I was always told, if you can't say anything nice, fill in the blank with your small group, If you can't say anything nice, that's right.
Don't say anything at all. And before you speak this week, run your words through the NICE filter. What do we mean by that? NICE. You know pastors love acronyms.
Here we go. Ask yourself, is it necessary? Do these words need to be said? Is it important? Will they help us move closer to God or to healing?
Is it correct? Am I speaking truth or am I exaggerating or gossiping? And last, is it encouraging? Is it tearing someone down or is it building them up? Alright, friends.
Enjoy your discussion and we'll see you next time. Be blessed.