The Time Guardian === Claire: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to Carried Far, Far Away, a podcast project where we are watching and reading everything that Carrie Fisher did during her short life and storied career. I'm Claire Fisher. Katie: I am Katie Marinello Claire: And today we are talking about The Time Guardian. Katie: one guardian, not guardians. Claire: The Time Guardian. Katie: time guardian. Not time guardian. Not time guardians not, yeah. Claire: Why, is there a movie called Time Guardians? Katie: I don't know about you, but whenever I Googled this, there were like 14 other things that came up Claire: Oh, okay. Katie: Had to put in Carrie Fisher in 1987 to get this. Claire: . The Time Guardian released December 3rd, 1987 in Australia and September 22nd, 1989 in the US which might contribute some to the confusion over what year to Google IMDB seems to go by US Release only, which is. Usually. Okay, but this is not a movie that was a hit [00:01:00] in the US (spoiler alert.) Katie: This wasn't a movie that was a hit in Australia either. Spoilers, Claire: Yeah. At the time the South Australian Film Corporation was trying very hard, Katie: I know Claire: their website. All the drama. Katie: drama surrounding this production. Claire: Their website lists four separate movies that they helped to produce that year. If you were an extra employed in South Australia, that would be good year for you. On the other hand there's a review on IMDB that calls this a delightfully horrible movie. Why don't you tell us what this movie is about, Katie, Katie: I just wanna say people who say this movie is terrible are clearly not watching the rest of Carrie Fisher's filmography. Claire: because we've seen worse. Katie: when placed on a continuum of her movies. I actually think this one's just fine. Claire: Yeah. Katie: All right, ready? Claire: Ready. Katie: Carrie Fisher plays [00:02:00] Petra, a 41st century historian with a specialization in 20th Century's technology and customs. She, along with her entire civilization, has been on the run through time from the Jandiki, a race of Cyborg's, intent on wiping out humanity. Petra and Ballard, A grizzly 41st century soldier who doesn't take orders as well, are transported into the South Australian Outback in 1988 to prepare a landing site for the city. Petra is wounded. And Ballard seeks help from a local 20th century geologist, Annie Lassett. are lots of run-ins with local cops who are as bumbling as our modern cops. #fuckICE After Annie and Ballard are arrested, the cops stupidly activate Ballard's tracking device, which allows. It's the Jandiki to invade Australia. Meanwhile, Ballard's Foster father back in the city tries to tell the city council that he knows how to stop the Jandiki once and for all, but they won't listen. And to be fair, I literally don't know what he was talking about. He tries to do it himself and ends up injured as Ballard, Petra and Annie are running to the city. Petra jumps on the back of a Jandiki to save Annie and dies heroically. Ballard is [00:03:00] able to save the city using his father's instructions that they all learned a valuable lesson about life work balance. He makes out with Annie. Claire: Okay. That plot, perfectly straightforward. I don't know what anybody's complaining about. Everybody got that right. Listeners, you followed, right? Uhhuh? Katie: absolutely. I, I left out the little subplot about the bumbling cop who steals a piece of alien technology and gets sucked through it. And then that's just never really explained Claire: It's not alien technology, it's earth technology from the future, Katie. Katie: It's human technology from the future. Claire: No, it's Jandiki technology for the future. Katie: Oh, so aren't they aliens? Claire: No, there's a whole, Katie: aren't aliens. Claire: so everybody understands. No, it, there's a scene in which it's dramatically revealed that the Jandiki are also humans. It's just that when the Neutron Wars happened, and some humans survived by [00:04:00] finding ways to make the cities they live in travel through time, other humans survived by going underground and fusing with machines, and now they can't tolerate natural daylight, which is why the Jandiki only attack in dim lighting, which is why their costumes were so cheap. Katie: Okay. Claire: Everybody got that? Katie: I did write in my notes. Oh, it's about ChatGPT again. Claire: Okay. So let's talk about the milieu in which this was made. This was clearly made after somebody had watched the Terminator. Katie: Yes. Claire: Which came out in 1984 because there's like a beat for beat romance between Annie and Ballard. That's supposed to be the Kyle Reese, Sarah Connor thing, except it doesn't work as well. Katie: And also I read that the idea for it came when they were filming Mad Max. Claire: okay. Mad Max Two released in the US and other markets as The Road Warrior. Brian Hannant was one of the screenwriters [00:05:00] for Mad Max Two, He was out in the outback filming that movie. Saw an interesting rock formation, said, oh, that almost looks like somebody built it that way, and then decided to write this movie in which someone does build an outback rock formation for a time traveling city to land on. Katie: Yep. Claire: Yeah. He ended up leaving the production and disowning the finished film. I can't imagine why. Katie: Everybody did. It's not super clear who finished the movie. Claire: Yeah. It actually isn't completely finished because in the original release there was a clip of The Terminator playing onto the TV in one scene, but they never secured the rights to use that clip from The Terminator. So in home video and subsequent releases, it had to be blurred out. So there's one random tracking blur in the middle of this movie. Katie: Okay. All right. Claire: Okay. So yeah, they mostly ended up going with an Australian cast. But they had, in addition to Carrie Fisher, actually auditioned Scott Glenn to be Ballard. Katie: Who's that? Claire: You know him as the [00:06:00] man in Mom's story about the playwright punching the actor on stage. Katie: Nope. Claire: What? Katie: Maybe tell the audience? Claire: When mom worked at Circle Repertory Theater. There was a play that was in progress in previews and the playwright stormed on the stage shouting, you're ruining my play. And punched Scott Glenn. Katie: Okay, so what would anyone else know Scott Glenn from Claire? Claire: He's the bad guy in Backdraft. Katie: Okay. Claire: Yeah. Katie: I dunno what that means. Claire: Fans of our sister podcast, The Kurt Locker, definitely do. Katie: Okay. Claire: And Carrie Fisher was actually supposed to play Annie the 20th century geologist, Katie: that's a better part. Claire: but they ended up swapping because they thought it would make sense to have the Australian actress, Nikki Coghill, play the Australian geologist. Against Tom Burlinson who is an Australian actor who played [00:07:00] Ballard, even though Ballard is not supposed to be from Australia. Katie: Right. Claire: At least not modern Australia, Katie: Right. Claire: Everything about this kind of screams troubled production And Ozploitation. Katie: Ozploitation. Sure. Claire: Aussie people have a domestic film industry that makes mock busters of more famous international productions. This is one. Katie: Yeah. do you know how Carrie Fisher ended up in this film? Because it, you were right. It's almost entirely Australian actors. Claire: Yeah, I don't know. I mean it, 1987 is when it came out in Australia. So she had just gotten outta rehab. This was probably one of those ones that she couldn't afford to say no to like, Hollywood Vice or whatever. Yeah. Katie: Right. And I guess with it being a sci-fi film, they wanted a little bit of sci-fi credit Claire: Yeah. Katie: and she was probably relatively easy to get. But yeah, it's just interesting 'cause she is by far the most famous [00:08:00] person in this movie Claire: Oh, by a lot. Yeah, by a lot. Katie: a lot, a lot. Claire: Many of the other people in this movie do not have a second credit on IMDB. Katie: Yes, yes, I did note that. And all of the Wikipedias are like a paragraph long. But once again, they have this amazing, beautiful sci-fi royalty and they do almost nothing with her. As soon as she got injured, I was like, gosh, darn it. Now they're gonna have her off screen for the rest of the movie. Claire: And she was sidelined for the rest of the movie. Katie: Generally. Yeah. Though I said earlier, I think I like this character better than I like most of her characters. But let's get into it. The first scene is text scroll, which I was like, ha, tell me you have Carrie Fisher in your movie. Without telling me, you've Carrie Fisher in your movie. Oh, we forgot to mention that. We actually watched this together. Claire: Oh yeah. In stony silence. Katie: Yes. Claire: Yeah. Katie: Not ruin what we're about to banter [00:09:00] about. Claire: In my notes I say the plot is people shouting exposition in voiceover, while apparently unrelated things happen on screen. Katie: Okay. Claire: And so yeah, there's a text scroll, and then you're right into something that I guess makes more sense with the text scroll, but not really right. Katie: Oh, yes, I, this is where I wrote about the robots created by humans. They're taking over the world. It's another movie about the social disease, and then there's some like really heavy breathing that comes on. And again, I'm like, really? Okay. So we're just gonna take everything from, other movies. All right. Cool. Claire: Including red-eyed cyborgs from, you guessed it, Terminator, Katie: Right. Claire: right? The red-eyed cyborgs who move really slowly and carry weapons that go pew, pew. Yes, Those ones Katie: luckily are as bad of shots as the storm troopers. Claire: pew [00:10:00] pew? Katie: Anyways, so there's some sort of tense situation happening. Carrie and the square-jawed, blue-eyed dude on a mission. The city council is smoking. And that's what you did in intense situations in 1988. And then they order them to come back and he won't, and he takes, Carrie's phone and breaks it and I'm like, wow. That's, that's, Claire: So she is apparently the comms officer, but when they ask for the. Position of their unit, she actually answers and he's like, damnit, now the enemy overheard us. And I'm like, okay. That's on your, Katie: Yeah. Claire: that's on your military for not having encryption Katie: Right. Or code. Yeah. And you sort Claire: or codes, right? You're fighting spinoff species that you haven't spoken to in hundreds of years. Invent some new words or something, right? Katie: Once again, Carrie Fisher's just doing her job and she gets in trouble for it. Claire: Right. So he smashes the radio and says, this ends tonight's broadcast. Katie: [00:11:00] Right Carrie is wearing earrings on the battlefield. Perhaps helmets would be better. Claire: yeah, maybe. Katie: Good that the robots respond to bullets. Claire: It's not fully explained, but apparently while they're retreating towards the city, Mr. Blue Eyes sets off a bomb inside. Part of the city's support struts. This city is an elevated city. It sits on struts. He sets something off inside the strut that apparently wasn't supposed to be set off inside the strut. That is not explained at the time, but 40 minutes later they mentioned that that's why they need to time travel right now. Katie: Right, right, right. Okay. So let's step, so I said this during my 54 or second recap, but we didn't really say what the exposition was. So this city has been jumping through time for hundreds of years trying to escape human cyborg mutant race of Claire: Jandiki Katie: Jandiki who are. [00:12:00] Trying to destroy all humans. Super unclear. Why? they got the planet that they were taking over. Right. But they're still chasing this city three time. Claire: So the city started time traveling because of the Neutron Wars, which are not elaborated on Katie: Right. Claire: the Jandiki were a later problem Katie: Okay. Claire: or maybe not. Like I said, this isn't really a movie that explains things very well. Katie: No, the lore is just not there, and honestly, I'm fine with it. Claire: Yeah. Katie: all right, so they have this little altercation, Ballard and Petra, who is Carrie Fisher's character because somebody died in that battle that they just did. And somehow he thinks this is her fault because she answered the phone when their commanders were calling them. Claire: Yeah. Katie: We get their characters established, right? And they have this antagonistic relationship and you think, [00:13:00] ah, this is the will they/won't they. But it's not, don't worry. Claire: Because meanwhile, on Earth in 1988, a woman in a cowboy hat with anti-nuclear power decals on her Jeep is driving through the outback, picks up a hitchhiker and says she's a geologist on her way to Storm Valley. And he reacts in sudden fear, which is again, never explained and. Then back in the time traveling city, he reads the data core that he ripped out of the heart of a Jandiki and his AI assistant in his smart home, summarizes for audience benefit that the Jandiki are cyborgs who survived the Neutron Wars centuries ago and buried themselves to avoid the, to fallout. And they now can't tolerate normal light. And the heart module has recorded their orders. "We must have the city! kill them all!" again. No, no motivation required. Just Katie: No. They need the city. Claire: they need the city. Yeah. And okay. Katie: To be fair, this is like more motivation than most [00:14:00] wars, so Claire: Yeah, so meanwhile back in Oz, Katie: yes. Claire: weird, they strange things are afoot at the Outback gas station because there's a Katie: There's a lot Claire: lot. Katie: again, men just randomly blaming her for shit. Claire: Her meaning Annie. Katie: Yes. They don't like strangers in their town. And it's just weird. It's a weird interaction where everybody's immediately hostile. Claire: But then the clouds start moving in Fast forward. There's a green flash in the sky. There's weird noise. A man who's urinating has his urine turn hot as it's coming out of his body a. Katie: Ah, Claire: A hose turns icy and freezes while it's flowing. The policeman Roy draws his gun certain that someone is up to something, even though none of this could possibly indicate an earthly crime. Right? Katie: then he starts shooting randomly at the storm, which seems more dangerous. Claire: And then he tells Annie he doesn't wanna see her around his town again because Katie: Because Claire: what did she. Katie: storm. That's, yes. That's what I'm saying. Once again, her presence apparently caused the [00:15:00] storm. Claire: So at first I was kind of like, does he know what's happening? And he is trying to scare her away for her own safety? No, he's just a dick. Katie: No, no. Claire: that's this man's entire character arc is that he's a dick. Katie: Are just dicks for being dicks. Claire: And then Katie: ice. Claire: he says to an aboriginal man who is not given a name at this point, it's coming again. And the aboriginal man says this time keep your mouth shut. That exchange, again, never explained Katie: No, there's no indication for the rest of the movie that they actually know what's going on, But she finds a cave drawing the city, right? So we know that it's definitely happened before. Claire: yeah. It's a time traveling city, so it must have bounced back and forth, right? A couple of times, . Katie: We don't know that they've always been in Australia throughout time. Right. Claire: I do wonder if Terry Pratchett had ever happened to have seen this movie, 'cause in his fantasy version of Australia, there's a known [00:16:00] problem with rock paintings that have been there for thousands of years, not having been there yesterday. Had they been there for thousands of years yesterday? No, they just appeared today and now they've been there for thousands of years. Right. Katie: So I wrote for some reason the blue eye dude needs to go to the past. Nobody seems to know why, but you explained that it's because they broke the bottom of the city or something. Claire: Yeah, so again, 40 minutes into the movie, he finally tells Annie that the reason he has to go to the past is that the city is in transit. It's gonna land in the 20th century the day after tomorrow, but its strut. Was exploded by the, whatever was going on in that earlier sequence. And so he, Katie: they have to build this rock structure to, to support it. Claire: right. Katie: Okay. Claire: That's not explained until well after this scene, but it'll help our audience to know that that's what they're, Katie: tell you now, because other, yeah, literally I'm like, they're going back because question mark, and it turns out Petra is the 20th century [00:17:00] expert, Claire: oh, and. Katie: have this whole, Ugh, you again. Claire: One more problem. He's just found out by, you know, reading this data core that the Jandiki know how to predict the city's jumps through time, which is how they keep finding them. So when they land in the 20th century, the Jandiki are gonna follow. And they know this and they do not alter their plans in the slightest. No, this is not. Katie: the city council has not shown any indication that they're willing to listen to anyone. Claire: And one of the women on the council says, oh, you're such a typical man responding with violence. So he masculinely puts her in her place by saying, these aren't plumbers you can bribe to get your bathroom fixed. Katie: Weird thing to survive to the 41st century Claire: Weird thing to say in general, I think. Katie: bribe with what? Anyway. Claire: So Petra and Ballard get ready to go. Katie: They land in 20th [00:18:00] Century Australia. The aboriginals seem to know who they are or know who Carrie is, at least again, they then disappear out of the plot. Claire: Wait, we skipped one little part where like they say goodbye to Ballard's mentor Dr. Sun. Yeah. Katie: His foster father. Claire: Yeah, his foster father is the one who runs the machine that sends the, the vanguard back to, to handle the building of ceremonial rock struts or load bearing rock struts. The Smith, the obstructionist on the, and boss that they have. Is also there and Dr. Sun tells him, stand back please, unless you wish to join your ancestors in the past. And then Petra and Ballard pop back in time landing in the middle of an Aboriginal ceremony apparently. And the Aborigines were apparently waiting for them because they say, good day, Mrs. Katie: Yeah. And then later when they could really use an ally, there's no mention of them. Claire: But they are shown driving the earth mover for them later. So I feel like the South [00:19:00] Australian Film Corporation hired some local Aboriginal people but didn't want to pay them scale for speaking roles. Katie: Hmm. Yeah. Or make them look heroic in any way. Claire: So let's talk about, Katie: Ballard for a minute. He's played by Tom Burlinson, who is a Canadian born Australian actor. He got his career break in 1981 when he was given the main role in the biggest Australian film production ever. Man from the Snowy River. And he played, yep, he played the man from Snowy River. His name was Jim Craig. he was given a couple days to learn how to ride horses. And turned out he really liked it and he ended up doing a lot more horse based roles, including man from Snowy River too. He also played, main role in the comedy romance, Wind Rider alongside teen actress Nicole Kidman, in her first adult role, then he [00:20:00] became a singer inspired by Frank Sinatra. He actually wrote a, tribute to Frank Sinatra and like nervously sang it on some variety show or whatever. And then he was hired by Tina Sinatra to do the voice of Young Sinatra in a documentary she was making about her dad. And then after that, he on a singing career. Sinatra, it all comes back to Sinatra and Nicole Kidman, who we will Claire: We'll talk about will we? Katie: Maybe 'cause I don't actually know who any of these other characters are. Claire: And Annie, tell us about Nikki Coghill. Katie: Annie, Nikki Coghill like you said, not a ton otherwise. Other than this, she's best known for playing the roles of Sister Jackie Crane in the Flying Doctors and Miranda Parker in the long running Australia soap opera Neighbors. Claire: Oh, okay. When Ballard and Petra Oomph into a lake [00:21:00] in 20th Century Australia. A couple of things happen. One Ballard's armband goes off indicating that the Jandiki are tracking them. And two, Annie, who was camping nearby, doing geology stuff runs out of the tent in her skivvies Katie: Yes. I wrote, she should put on pants and a bra if she's going to camp in the Outback. Claire: and three. It is revealed that everyone is after a time sphere, which is never described but which is apparently one of the rock formations around Annie's campsite. 'cause Annie sees the Jandiki appear So does a random truck driver who consequently crashes his truck. The crashed truck will be important later. But Petra Ballard and their unnamed allies are trying to knock over one of the spheres to disrupt the arrival of the Jandiki When Petra gets shot. apparently [00:22:00] one of the men is named Danny because Ballad says, Danny, can you take Petra back to the pool and stay with her? I'll go get some help. Okay. Come the morning, Annie, still trying to figure out what's going on, Stumbles on a Jandiki who's breathing, like When Ballard puts his hand over her mouth whispers that he won't hurt her. Says she's safer with him and then immediately asks if she knows anything about healing because he needs help. So it's yeah, you're saying she's safer with you, but actually you need her help, right? Katie: because you're you're being tracked by these things that she just discovered. Claire: Yeah. So the whole come with me if you wanna live moment doesn't play as well in this movie as it did in its inspiration. And Petra. Is sort of delirious and accidentally tells Annie, oh, it was Jandiki ambush before she thinks to ask. Wait, who are you? Katie: Right, right. Claire: Annie, I must say Katie: [00:23:00] almost all of this Claire: too. Katie: stride. Claire: Yeah, she's, she is nonplussed Katie: Yeah. She really doesn't seem to like none of this seems to be. Too big of a shock. Obviously there's some she has questions. but so Carrie talks her through how to use the armband that they have to help heal her. So Petra is help, is telling Annie how to heal Petra's injury with the armband, Claire: So why didn't Petra just do that with Danny or Ballard? Katie: right? Because then there wouldn't be a blonde lady. Claire: We need a blonde lady. Okay. Okay. So the blonde lady agrees to drive Ballard into town to rent an earth mover, Katie: Yep. Claire: which is the first we've heard that that's why they're here Katie: Right now we, now we understand they need an earth move, because the city is coming back tomorrow. Yeah. So that's the place where that tells you Claire: Yeah. On their way there, they find the wrecked truck and the dead driver. They pick up the dead driver and a piece of what he hit, which is a time sphere thinking [00:24:00] that they'll just get this to the proper authorities. Right. And when they get back to Midas, the policeman from earlier. Is the one who has to handle it. Ballard actually beats up the bad cop Roy from earlier, but then the chief shows up, takes them inside to fill out a report telling Roy to handle the corpse because, quote, you knew him better than me Katie: Yes. Claire: and Roy Is then taunted as Annie's leaving after making her report. You made out, you've run this town. You couldn't run a hot bath. Roy then is examining this sphere fragment without having spoken to anybody about it. It starts to glow. He touches it. His arm goes through, he pulls out a futuristic gun. He's like, oh, cool. Futuristic gun. And then a Jandiki. Reaches through, grabs him and pulls him in, leaving only his boot behind and that's the end of Roy. And you said out loud at this [00:25:00] point, I think that was on the dude Roy should not have been sticking his arms Katie: don't go sticking your arms into random pieces of technology. Come on now. Claire: right. Katie: So then, do they get the earth mover or do they go back to camp? Claire: First, Annie deduces wait, your city's landing. We've got these cyborgs running around. Two weird things happening at the same time. And she's you're about to have a battle in this town, right? And he says, yeah. And quote, it's what happens now that shapes history. And that's literally just always true, dude. Like, You're not actually telling us anything new. Katie: oh. It's what happens now that shapes history. Claire: He doesn't have money for the earth mover. He's trying to get credit saying that the city will pay when it lands. Annie says I'll pay with a credit card, but the renter guy says, no, we only take cash. So Ballard throws him through a window and then they take the earth mover. Katie: Typical man reacting with violence. Claire: At this point, the police actually now [00:26:00] have a reason to be bothering you. Earlier, they were just being jerks. Okay. Katie: Being annoying, yeah, exactly. Now you've actually committed a crime besides messing with the. Car accident and Claire: Yeah. Katie: transporting a body, which I don't know if that's a crime. Claire: Not necessarily if you're trying to take it to the proper authorities, which they were. So then they're back at camp overnight. Annie and Ballard are awake, Petras sleeping, but talking in her sleep. And Annie asks Ballard to tell her more about the people in the city. Katie: Mm-hmm. Claire: Different? And what about men and women? So obviously someone had seen Terminator, what are women like in the future? Pickup line that Sarah Connor uses. Annie says she's happy to hear that future humans are still human. Ballard does not tell her the bad news about the Jandiki So come the morning, Ballard is shirtless supervising the earth mover uh, important. which Danny is driving, and there's a third person with them [00:27:00] who is not named mentioned, referred to, explained acknowledged or fully in frame at any point. Annie and Petra have a little conversation, which actually passes the Bechdel test. No, it does not. Yes it does, because, Katie: literally wrote no Bechtel test here. Claire: Petra tell talks Annie, through how the armband works, Katie: And then starts talking about Ballard Claire: then they start talking about men. Men don't change much. Katie: and she says , suddenly, Petra and Ballard have had nothing but contempt for each other pretty much this whole time. all of a sudden Petra says he's the best of the men back home and. think this is where she gives the kind of backstory that he wasn't actually part of the people who like ran away from the neutron wars. Right. He was picked up later. Claire: He was picked up on a time skip, and he was a feral child, which is, so remember the original screenwriter also wrote Mad Max Two AKA, The Road Warrior. This is supposed to be what happens to the feral child who grows up. Oh,[00:28:00] Katie: okay. See, I've never seen Mad Max, so I did not make that connection. Claire: There's a kid in Mad Max two who can't speak but does help in his own way. He has a super sharp boomerang that he uses to cut people's fingers off in emergencies. And during the climactic battle is clinging to the outside of the the tanker truck that Mad Max is driving. Forcing at one point Mel Gibson to put down a shotgun to grab the kid 'cause he's steering with the other hand, then that little boy grew up and became actually a well-respected jeweler in Sydney and never made another movie, Katie: Okay. Claire: but there is a fan theory in the Mad Max 'verse that he grows up to be. Tom Hardy's Mad Max. Katie: Mm. Claire: Tom Hardy, having taken over the role in 2015. But that doesn't really gel with the established canon. It doesn't have to because it turns out this is the feral child Katie: He was pulled out of time. Claire: And [00:29:00] it Katie: time, Claire: is fighting the Jandiki Katie: yes. Claire: But since the original screenwriter disowned this movie, that connection was never made explicit. Katie: Canon. Yeah. Claire: Yeah. Katie: Okay. So anyways, she says he's the best of the men back home. And then she says, unfortunately, he also knows this. And I'm like, I'm sorry. When did you start liking this guy? Claire: Ah, she liked him all along. Katie: There's some camaraderie there, which I actually did enjoy but didn't feel like earned necessarily. Because Carrie gives Annie her armband that she has protection while they're on their next Leg of the mission and then Annie and Ballard go swimming and you'll never guess what happens next. Claire: What? Katie: They kiss! what they kiss and I wrote down, I'm just glad it's not Carrie. And then, but, but Petra has a great line here where she says, did you learn something about the 20th century? [00:30:00] Which after he comes out and he says, I should be thinking about getting us home. And she says, she'll get you there. And he says, we'll all get each other there, which I actually really Claire: Yeah, I did like that moment. That was cute. Okay, so Katie: a gun for some reason. Claire: his gun's charge pack is losing power. It was damaged in the jump. They know that Jandiki are gonna come back at dark. So Annie says I know where we can find another gun. We'll go back to the wrecked truck and steal the trucker's rifle. Katie: Right. Claire: Obviously Sergeant Policeman is there waiting for them because after they left Roy was missing and he knows that they were out this way because they brought him the trucker's body. So like he goes out there to find them and he arrests them. Right. Katie: Yep. Actually possibly justified in this moment. Claire: Yeah. Meanwhile, back in the time traveling city, which is still hurtling through time, Dr. Sun calls Smith and says, huh, the city will have to fight. And I'm like, no kidding. Katie: What? Claire: What did you think we were planning? And he says, there's a way we [00:31:00] can overcome! the power that drives us, can defeat them. Smith dismisses him completely because in all fairness, he's not making a lot of sense, Katie: No. Claire: So the intercut with Ballard and Annie being in cells, dealing with the cop trying to take their armbands actually Ballard says, oh, you don't know how to remove those. I'll do it. And I thought this was like a long con where then he was gonna use it as a weapon or something. No, he actually just takes off his armband and hands it over. Katie: Then tries to tell the sergeant like, don't play with them. But Sergeant's gonna play with them 'cause he is never seen anything like it. Claire: And he activates the thing that will attract the Jandiki who announced dramatically Ballard the Time Guardian has run out of time. Katie: I I wrote, he activates settings that make the aliens know where they are. That's a weird setting. Claire: Exactly. Yeah. Katie: Why would you make that setting in your lifesaving armband thingy? Claire: So back in the city, Dr. Sun is actually in the bowels [00:32:00] of the city trying to pull something out of the glowing laser. That must be their power source. Katie: out of time. Maybe Claire: Yeah. Something again. Okay. Have we explained adequately how this is totally cheesy and not well explained. Katie: And yet I really liked it. Claire: It had its moments, but afterwards I was like, what the heck? Katie: Right, right. Claire: None of this made sense. Katie: Trying to recap it is very hard because there isn't a whole lot of Yeah. Claire: So from here on in, really the main problem is that the Jandiki have come from Midas, south Australia. The junkyard. Katie: Which is completely unprepared. Claire: Yeah. Katie: Again, if they knew that this was gonna happen, they could have prepared the local citizenry. But no, why Claire: Yeah. Katie: that? Claire: A guy is watching the Terminator on TV only Not really 'cause it's blurred out and singing off key. When his dog starts to freak out, he sees a Jandiki. He tries to call the police. He gets cut off. Mid call [00:33:00] Ballard says to the cop, gimme those armbands. I might be able to save you. Obviously the cop doesn't fall for that, Katie: Yep. Claire: but as soon as the cops leave to go, respond to this distress call at the junkyard, Ballard. It turns out can melt the lock off the cell with his belt. Why didn't you do that? Katie: sooner, but yeah. Claire: Okay. A Jandiki is attacking the police station. Again. Someone had really watched the Terminator. He, he tells Annie to run and then breaks into the police weapons cabinet by smashing the glass with his elbow, which do not try that at home, you will sever tendons, right? And then it turns out he doesn't know how to load a 20th century gun anyway, so it jams in his hands. Katie: Oh God. Claire: Fortunately, Annie is more helpful than him. She has figured out that if the Jandiki have light sensitivity, flash photography is like Katie: Oh Claire: their, their weakness. Katie: Yeah. Claire: She manages to distract one long enough to set it on fire and then throw jarred honey at him so that he'll explode.[00:34:00] Katie: Does the honey in Australia explode? I've never been to Australia. I know you have, Claire: Twice. Katie: my impression, my impression of it is that things are constantly just trying to kill you. So do they have exploding honey in Australia? Claire: We have technically the option to explode our honey here in the US. We just so very rarely need to use it, that the traditional ways have been allowed to die. Honey is very, very flammable. So if you set honey in a jar on fire, if it's a glass jar, you actually could make the glass jar go explode. Katie: Hashtag fuck ice. Claire: This is a plot point in the Jason Statham movie, the Beekeeper among others. Katie: Okay? Claire: So Annie and Ballard are trying to make a run for it, and the sergeant, assuming they're responsible for whatever the fuck is going on, tries to stop them. Ballard beats [00:35:00] him Katie: that they're responsible. It's just that Claire: not in the way that he thinks. Yeah. Katie: stupid ass setting on his armband. Claire: Yeah. So Ballard beats up the cop and says, you wouldn't bloody listen, Would you? now watch your town burn! And I'm like, excuse me. You didn't try to tell him anything that would've been helpful to this entire situation. Katie: tried to. Prepare them. I don't think that these particular cops were gonna listen because they have been basically bumbling assholes from the start, but still. Claire: Yeah. All right. Annie and Ballard. Make it back to Petra who says, oh, I thought you decided to just stay here because they've been so long. The city is arriving. Katie: Thank you. Claire: The city is arriving, it's beginning to phase into existence. Ballard says to Annie, when it lands for real, the Jandiki are gonna attack and force. And I'm like, as opposed to what's been happening so far, which was tea and Crumpets Katie: , They sent one Jandiki to the police station, Claire: I gotta say, at no point in this movie was I clear on how many there're [00:36:00] supposed to be. 'cause it's clearly the same guy over and over. Katie: just, yeah, they only built one. Claire: Yeah. Annie insists on coming with Ballard and Petra she's not gonna back out now and Katie: no discussion about whether pulling her out of time might cause any issues. Claire: no. They're climbing up to the landing point when the Jandiki are waiting for them. Annie gets knocked off a ledge and Petra tackles a genke in a suicide move to buy Ballard time to save Annie. Again, there's been no discussion of do they need her to come with them? Should she come with them? Is this a good place for her to be right now? Katie: I Though that Petra was saving Annie not saving Ballard The cliche thing would be for her to be like, oh, we need you Ballard, or whatever, and, and try to save him, Claire: no. Yeah. Katie: and so she commits suicide to save. Annie, not super clear why, but it's not, not a sweet moment. Right. Claire: In her defense, she's had a lot of armband painkillers at this point, so I have to assume she's not thinking that clearly. Katie: 'cause she gave her armband away Claire: [00:37:00] oh, even worse, she's coming off the painkillers, right? Katie: Right. Claire: So luckily the city is here and they are the cavalry, only not really 'cause they are losing badly, right? Ballard and Annie managed to get into the city. Dr. Sun is wounded and dying and says to Ballard, take the beam accelerator from the line. Remember your training Katie: I am glad he remembers it because it is not explained Claire: not explained. Ballard tells Annie to wait with sun and I'll be back. He actually says I'll be back. Katie: He does. He does in fact actually say that. Yeah. Claire: And then he walks. He literally walks. He doesn't show any sign of being In a hurry at all. Even though the Jandiki have broken through the defenses, the control room is saying there are no more reserved troops. There's a pitched battle going on room to room, and he is walking towards the red laser thingy, which is apparently called the timeline[00:38:00] Katie: right. Claire: and reaches in and emerges with a thing. Katie: A thing. Claire: Yeah. Katie: pulls a thing out of the thing. Claire: And then the Jandiki leader fires on him. And you said out loud an amazing line. Is this where the guy is secretly his father? Katie: Because I've never seen Terminator or Mad Max, so to me, I was still, I was just picking up on all of the Star Wars references. Claire: I gotta say, we haven't mentioned this, but the production design is also sort of Blade Runner, so we really just have a four-way eighties sci-fi meets Australian tax schemes. Katie: right. Right. Okay, we'll just pull all these American movies and see what happens. Set them in the outback, see what happens Claire: Th this is what happens. This movie is what happens. So when all appears lost, Annie shoots the Jandiki Katie: Mm-hmm. Claire: Ballard stabs it. Annie says, I reckon you need me. And Ballard announce [00:39:00] announces over the pa. Stop the fighting. Katie: The war is over. But then he uses the timeline gun to murder all the other Jandiki Claire: Yeah, Katie: I'm pretty sure is a war crime. Claire: he. He says it's the power of the city that you want. I'm here to give it to you. Here's 500 years all at once. Zap, vaporize, the Jandiki. Yeah. That's a war crime. That's actually a war crime. If they were surrendering, Katie: Good Claire: they might not have actually believed him when he said they needed to stop. Katie: that it was over, perhaps that's not, yeah. Okay. Fine. Claire: Yeah. Also, I don't think anyone's gonna enforce the rules of war because nobody even enforces those now, and this is a long time from now Katie: Yes. Who is it sitting in a New York prison right now? Claire: anyway, after a shower and a change of clothes, Ballard and Annie are back at his apartment. Katie: Yes. In the city where she's apparently staying. Claire: She asks if he likes her futuristic clothes. They get paged saying [00:40:00] he's being summoned to the bridge. And Annie says, let the city run itself big damn kiss. City fades out of view. End of movie. What did we just watch, Katie: A metaphor about work-life balance, as I said in my recap. Claire: right? Oh, go ahead. Katie: from from the beginning I'm trying really hard here. I'm trying really hard to put like a timeline in this movie that's ostensibly about timelines. That at the beginning he's all business Claire: Uhhuh Katie: and then he meets this girl and at the end she tells him that the city can run itself and they make out. So work-life balance. Claire: what I'm not clear on though, is they solved the Jandiki problem, but the reason the city was time traveling was because it thought it was the last remnant of humanity after the Neutron Wars. The fact that the Jandiki are also human was surprised. [00:41:00] And and the fact that the Jandiki have raided other cities was also news to them. And they were like, oh wait, there were other cities. Right? Katie: cities. Yeah. Claire: And then they, Katie: Maybe that was for Time Guardians 2. Claire: The Time Guardian 2 Katie: See problems. Claire: And so ends The Time Guardian, both movie and franchise. I gotta say, ask me how obscure this movie is. Katie: How obscure is this movie? Claire: I mentioned it out loud to the Science Fiction Association of Bergen County and no one had heard of it. Katie: Oh my. Claire: That's rare. Katie: Film Ink wrote it is hard for filmmakers who wanna make sci-fi in Australia. The Time Guardian made it harder they said. They have Dean Stockwell as an officer, Carrie Fisher running around as a warrior. Tom Burlington is a grizzled warrior, and a performance that killed his career as a leading man, [00:42:00] and Nikki Coghill being genuinely charming amidst the carnage A film that should have a bigger cult. Claire: I don't disagree. It, it has its moments, but the storytelling is just not there. Katie: Yeah, I'm surprised that it hasn't a so bad. It's good kind of thing. Claire: Yeah. Katie: When he says, you know, there should be a bigger cult, like nobody in your sci-fi club. To have heard of it does surprise me because again, Carrie Fisher was really freaking famous. Claire: Yeah. Katie: Had it been Harrison Ford, it would be, you know, on this poster of top 100 movies of all time that I have on my wall. Claire: Yeah. Like I said, the South Australian Film Corporation was trying really hard, really trying. They'd had some success with the Mad Max series going really, really well, and they thought that meant that they could make bigger budget sci-fi stuff and. Didn't work out. Katie: I'll tell you one [00:43:00] other thing I really liked about this movie. Claire: What's that? Katie: One hour 28 minutes. Claire: It's a trim. One hour and 28 minutes. Yeah. Katie: They pack a lot in, they explain nothing, Claire: Ask us no more questions. We'll tell you. No more lies. Katie: Yeah. I don't know. I think I came away from it, like, all right. That was, that was decent. Claire: It was at least not boring in a slog like some movies we've discussed, right? Yeah. Katie: There was a lot going on, possibly too much going on. It's interesting because when we talked about Star Wars, Star Wars dumps a lot of lore on you very quickly and doesn't really tell you, doesn't really explain a whole lot like decades until they then try to overexplain it in the prequels. So it's interesting that it works there and it does not work here. Claire: I think that goes to show that one of those had a director and the other didn't. Katie: It's true Claire: true. Katie: Both screenwriters and the director eventually dropped out of this movie. It literally says on Wikipedia, that some of the [00:44:00] scenes were shot by the editor, which is not something you should ever wanna have Claire: No. No the first Star Wars, had famously a really strict editor in Marsha Lucas who made the exposition work for what they needed it to do. And here the editor was busy directing Katie: Right. The editor was left holding the bag after both directors or both screenwriters and one of whom was also the director dropped. Claire: Yeah. Katie: I also read that they shortened the shooting time from 12 weeks to nine weeks. Claire: it doesn't show at all. Katie: No. All right. Should we rank Ms. Petra? Claire: She, like you said, she gets shot, she gets sidelined, she gets a death scene. She doesn't get to do very much. Katie: to give her like a four. I. Claire: That's the thing. She's not in the movie very much, but what we see shows that she's a pretty tough cookie. So I'm, I'm gonna [00:45:00] say four Hutt Slayers is fine. Yeah. Katie: Yep. Claire: I just wish it was like a better Katie: Me Claire: plot. Katie: like I said, I just don't know why they keep, I guess there could be some drug related reason, but I feel like she's constantly being sidelined. It's very frustrating. Claire: Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of a, a girl screws up once, right? Because she had this reputation for being unreliable. She didn't get good offers for a long time. Katie: I guess, chicken and egg. If she had, if Claire: true. Katie: her more to do, maybe she wouldn't be getting high all the time. Claire: I'm not sure that's how addiction works, but, okay. Katie: it's not. Alright, so what's next? Claire: Appointment with Death based on the Agatha Christie story of the same name. Katie: Claire did a read through of all of Agatha Christie's books with the different podcasts back in the Claire: Mm-hmm. Katie: And Claire: back in the day, four years [00:46:00] ago. Katie: yeah, four years ago when we were all stuck inside. And so this is an exciting thing for you. Claire: Yeah. I remember from reading some analysis of Appointment with Death that some adaptations change the killer and the manner of death because the original novel strains credulity in, its manner of death. There's a chance, I don't know how this one ends. Katie: Cool. Claire: But I am interested, I don't know who they have Carrie playing in it, so we'll see. Katie: We'll get there. Claire: Yeah. I do think, a couple of things coming up like The Burbs and When Harry Met Sally, these are things that actually are, were either genuine hits or became sort of, you know, cult classy. So it seems like Carrie was starting to turn things around in the late eighties. Katie: looking forward to when Harry Met Sally. I think you and I watched it together the first time I saw it and it. Claire: When you were in [00:47:00] college, so Katie: room. In college, exactly. And with the death of Rob Reiner recently, Claire: it's been on everyone's mind. Katie: everybody's mind. Yeah, exactly. We'll have a lot to talk about, but for now, we are going to visit. An Appointment with death, which you said takes place in Petra and Carrie's name was Petra. So that was interesting Claire: Yes indeed. Many opportunities for the Greek word for rock happening right now. Also worth noting, this is the first one in a while that we've been able to find on streaming Katie: a movie that the world acknowledges exists. Claire: Right. So it has to have at least some redeeming artistic merit Right. Katie: Until then, Claire: Until then. If my life weren't funny, it would only be true. Katie: and that's unacceptable. Goodnight y'all. Thanks for listening to another episode of [00:48:00] Carried Far, far Away. This podcast is hosted, produced, edited re-edited obsessed over and loved by Katie Marinello and Claire Fisher. You can follow the show on Facebook and Instagram at carriedawaypod You can email us at awaycarriedpod@gmail.com You can follow Claire deadfictionalgirlfriends and Katie katiedaway We are proud to be part of the 12 24 network. You can join fans and creators from the Network on Discord by clicking the link in the show notes. All clips used in this podcast are done so under the protection of fair use. Have a wonderful week, and may the force be with you. And now our space, grandma wisdom of the week. Please stop debating on whether or not I aged well, unfortunately it hurts all three of my feelings. My body hasn't aged as well as I have. Blow us. Youth and beauty are not accomplishments.