Welcome back to the process of becoming podcast.
My name is Josh.
And my name is No.
Guys, if this is your first episode, the process of becoming, let's explain that a
little bit.
So the idea of this podcast is Dino and I have come to an understanding in life and
we both live a life understanding that we will never become that version of
ourselves that we know we can become.
And as you progress on your journey, you're always going to want to become
better.
So hence the name, the process of becoming, you're always gonna be in the
process.
This is not the process.
You never knew the process.
And I think the cool part about why we started this is also we're in two
different, I don't wanna say paths, but two different lives, right?
From where we came from, to what we do now.
And I think that's the best part about it all is regardless of where you're at in
life, regardless of what your goal is, values, whatever it is, you can always get
better at that, the entire people of life that I think we miss out on a lot.
But that's the journey.
That's the fun part, right?
And it's doing it together.
So, yeah, dude, I'm excited.
We got today.
Me too.
what do you want to kick this off with?
Mr.
Josh.
kick it off with the first time.
It's awesome to see your face in person.
So, uh, we recorded an episode last weekend.
I was at a hotel down in, uh, where was I?
Cape Gerardo.
I was in Southern Missouri, uh, for a volleyball tournament.
Recorded an episode.
Internet connection was terrible and therefore the audio was terrible.
So, yeah, it was a great episode though.
Um, so we're going to kind of rehash that topic and just give it to you real.
Uh, we just spent about 45 minutes playing with the audio.
So.
It's gonna be good, but how you been, man?
You have a good week?
Yeah, bro, absolutely, bro.
I've been, I've been pretty good.
Had a lot of personal stuff come up, but nothing crazy.
Just a lot of thinking.
I was out actually one day, and one day, I had a weird like headache or some shit,
and it's the first time I think I've ever had any allergies, and I didn't even know
what allergies felt like, bro, because I've never had them.
So I had to ask some people.
I took my Claritin and some other stuff, and it worked, and I'm like, okay, this,
okay, I understand this now.
So that was a new.
challenge.
But yeah, dude, outside of that, everything's been rocking.
How about you, bro?
How's life?
from?
Dude, that story reminds me of a buddy that I had growing up in elementary
school.
He was born in Pennsylvania, but moved to Louisiana before he really knew anything
about life.
He was maybe moved back from Louisiana in like sixth grade.
Amazing basketball player, by the way.
But the first time we had frost on the ground, he came outside with his hat and
gloves, his sled, and he thought it was like actual snow.
And he was like all fired up.
So I think it's really funny that you mentioned like, dude, I didn't know what
allergies were.
Like it freaked me out.
you mentioned like, dude, I didn't know what allergies were.
Yeah.
What that one makes you is that like the allergies that you have nowadays, not so
crazy, but it's just the company you get all the time.
It's a little bit different.
That is true.
Fun fact, and I don't know why this made me think of this, but there's this concept
and it's interesting.
But if you look at how many people have peanut allergies now, it's insane.
it's insane.
But when you go backwards and you figure out like what really happened.
So whenever you're first like peanut allergy takes to when the
the, when it kind of started to become publicly known.
So at the time it was like one in 4,000 kids or something would get it.
So the school systems completely were like, Hey, no nuts, no peanuts, no
nothing.
And you would think like, Hey, if we remove the bad stuff, you would see less
of it.
In fact, because they removed the bad stuff, they saw a lot more of it.
Um, so I just thought that was interesting because sometimes it's like
you don't experience those things, but you should because that is also what makes you
better.
It makes you get through that stuff.
Right.
It's like, dude, if you never go outside, I think back to bench warmers.
I don't know if you've ever seen that movie, but that dude that locks himself in
the closet and like afraid of sunlight.
But it's like, dude, if you never go outside, the first time you go outside,
you're getting sick.
You know what I mean?
So it's like, you got to experience those things.
So I don't know why that made me think of that.
But first time for everything, right?
Right.
We're going to have to release a video for this video.
And you can take it.
But that point, you know.
there's like a big correlation of like as we progress as a society to like all the
illnesses and like the...
the Celiac and all these other things.
And when you think about it, when I was a kid, now I'm aging myself, but we didn't
have that now.
I was in, I was out there playing in the third year.
I was getting exposed to all that stuff so.
if you're a parent listening to this, like let your kids be kids.
Like my kid, I mean, freaking my babies, we'd take them to target when they were
little and they would sit there and lick the cart and handle my wife's freaking out
on my, if they're building their immune system, you know what I mean?
Like, I don't know what it is, but for me, like I hardly ever get sick.
Like once a year.
And I think a lot of that is because I built such an amazing new system as a kid.
I think that makes 100% sense.
But also because you, even though you're not old, okay, I don't want to say it, but
you're dad.
I'm wise.
You're wiser.
You're more knowledgeable.
But I think a lot of it is you don't have to take care of yourself now too.
But due to your point, I think that is a big thing.
Like even my mom, she was more overly protective, but even saying that doesn't
sound right because she wasn't at the same time.
You know what I mean?
She's like, let me go outside.
Let me do, let me make a lot of dumb mistakes.
And because of those things, it made me better.
And into your point, if you're a parent listening to this, I think you should let
your kids go.
Fuck, you know, get hurt a little bit sometimes like let them let them go let
them experience life.
Because if you don't, and you shelter them forever, they're never gonna learn how to
handle problems as they grow up.
So damn, son fire, bro.
This is this is a good start.
All right.
true.
You know, giving parenting advice over there, is gonna be a great parent.
Oh, I do call on that, bro.
Hey, that's actually a big thing of my future.
I'm gonna be a dad, I'm always gonna be a dad.
So.
I actually take that.
I know that might've been a joke, but I take that.
Like, thank you, bro.
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
a gift of intuition and I've never, I haven't talked about this in the podcast.
I don't call it a skill because I believe intuition can be a skill, but I actually
have a gift of it.
Like within a few seconds of meeting somebody, I can tell you a lot about that
human being just from like reading by, I don't know how it all works, but it's just
there.
Like it's, I've only been wrong once or twice.
So pretty cool.
So we will be a good dad.
A lot of people who were born, were you around?
were you around people your whole life kind of thing?
Really?
That makes it even more interesting.
Because where my mind goes, it's like, if you have that type of intuition,
you know, you have to experience people often, you know, or just know all these
little cues.
And to your point, that is actually a real thing that, you know, through practice,
you can be more intuitive of those things.
But a lot of it is like, the little cues that you don't think about, that's how you
can tell a lot about a person.
And it's funny because they don't even know they're doing it.
but they're giving you exactly what they think or feel based on those cues, even
though what they're saying might be different.
But yeah, that's interesting, dude.
That's fucking awesome.
I made it up there for you.
Mm, that explains it.
I've been an observer my whole life.
So like, even now, I've never been that, I have a personality of fun and being
excited that I can be that guy, but my natural state, if I'm in a crowd, I'll
just be quiet and I'll observe.
You know?
I love that.
It's a way I've always been.
And you learn, again, it's a skill, but also for me, it's more than that because
it's so developed.
Dude, I love that.
I think there's a true science to that too.
Of being the guy who's silent in the room or person that's silent but pays
attention.
I mean dude, even leaders, like as a leader it's not just, oh you go in there
and you talk all the time.
You sit back and you actually pay more attention than you do talking.
You know, there's a reason to that.
right?
Because then you get to see more things, you get to really observe and break it
down, right?
Where I think a lot of times we don't do that.
That's interesting, bro.
It makes total sense though.
Makes total sense.
now and a husband, like it's created the skill set of like being able to go into a
restaurant.
Like when I go into a restaurant, like I don't have like an exact count, but I know
how many people are in the room.
I know where they're at.
I know if they're like, I can pick up whether or not they're a threat or
potential threat.
Um, and obviously like most men experience as well, like I know where all the exits
are.
It's wild.
And it's like always on the top of my mind is like, I, if shit were to go down right
now, how would it play out and how like, what's the safest exit?
Get my family out of here kind of thing.
Yeah, it's weird.
It's just like.
I always thought that females were more intuitive to that type of thing because
they're the protectors in a way of like, not protect, like we're obviously more
protectors, but they always go for worst case scenarios.
They try to think through everything.
So that's interesting, dude.
Yeah.
I always look at life through a positive lens.
I don't think worst case, but it's always there.
Subconsciously it's there.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
Wow.
I love it.
Yeah.
I think it's a skill as a dad too.
Like it just, like when you have kids, that just kicks in.
It makes total sense.
So I think it's you have to, right?
Like, I mean it.
it's one of those things where it's like, when it's just you and you're working for
you, like even if you have a wife, even if you have a significant other, there's a
bigger meaning when it's your kid.
Because that is you, that is you point two.
And so I think it takes the meaning up higher and the responsibility up higher,
that like naturally your mind goes to like, all right, what can I do?
How do I protect them?
how do i make them better like how do i this is me how do i help me you know what
i mean from the outer version of you so i think that's where like your point was
your dad at
know before the podcast, obviously, Jay P is running out of time.
So Jay P, I think you're up.
So, Jay P, I think you're up.
He recorded an episode where he was talking about a situation that happened in
a restaurant with his family.
His two daughters went to the bathroom and he heard them screaming.
He got up to go and he literally, everything slowed down for him.
He was walking, he saw a reflection of somebody walking behind him in the salad
bar glass.
He knew there was a car idling right outside the door.
And he knew that like three minutes before his daughter went to the bathroom, there
was a guy working on the switcher.
He said, I'm going that direction as well, before he hit the street.
back there.
There's a men's and women's door.
They're both locked.
He knocks on the door and asks his daughter, like, Hey, are you OK?
No response.
And then he's like counting down in his head, like three seconds, like he's
getting ready to kick this door in.
Well, the guy in the blue sweatshirt comes out and like of the men's room.
And he's like.
it's like also emotion making when they're thinking of, like, putting the TV against
the wall and putting the situation out.
Or then right at the start, his daughter is like, hey, daddy.
And like, here's ice cream, because other daughters are going to like him.
you know, but no response.
So like this all played out, but his Navy SEAL training and his intuition, like it
just like, that's the level I want to get to is like everything slows down and it's
like freaking deal.
You know, I mean, I don't know.
I'm a tool for that.
bro, that's not true.
You can do anything you say your mind to.
But that's insane.
Bro.
Yeah.
But the cool part, I think, is because when you know JP and when you know where
he came from to see that in action.
And one piece I want to take out of that is the slow it down.
Dude, slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
And I think no matter what situation, especially when it's life or death, you
have to like calm everything down.
You know, if everything's moving too fast, you're making the wrong decision.
But I think that translates into life too.
That is a very interesting story.
Holy shit, I'd be scared.
too, like he's like the reflection of the dude following me was his son.
So his son like picked up on it.
Like dad's in, dad's in go mode and like I need to be in go mode too.
So it's like a power of observation.
You know, kids are always watching and they're going to catch more than you ever
teach them.
So, and obviously some of that might be genetic because, you know.
Yeah, we'll go with that one too.
Dude, that's actually interesting.
Yeah.
How about you share the message for us, please?
Dude.
All right.
One thing I want to touch on, I kind of hit on this before we went into this.
I've been thinking about.
pass it on here, I believe, and run it to this.
I've been thinking about, just from experiences, you know, just hanging out
with people, talking to people, one thing I know that people do often is we judge
people, right?
Like we judge them based on what we think is right or wrong.
And we're so quick to question someone or put someone down or if we disagree with
something, or maybe it's not the life that we would live, we're automatically like
putting a term or judging someone essentially for those things.
And
I've been thinking about that mentally and I think a lot of problems come from stuff
like that.
Right, whereas, you know, especially when we get into the topics of belief,
visualizing the same life that you want, I think when you judge, you're actually
telling the world that
you don't want to see yourself succeed, right?
Because judgment is a form of like, essentially putting others down without
telling them, but the world is yours, everything, right?
So I've been thinking about this piece, because I'm like, dude, you know, one of
the things I learned early on, and especially from my mom,
but as I got older it started to hurt more.
But when I noticed I judged people, it actually impacted me more in a negative
way than when I started to just accept it and just be like, oh, okay, that's...
yeah, I don't know why, but I'm like, maybe there's a good reason.
You know, and just saying maybe there's a good reason or like having a little bit
more of a positive outlet helped me see things in a more positive light.
And I think a lot of that played a role in who I am today, but I think a lot of the
problems we face is we judge people just based off what we think is right or wrong.
You know?
I don't know if you've ever thought about that or like delved into that, but like,
what are your thoughts about that?
Like, no, I agree with you wholeheartedly.
It's, I want to say it's like a fan-general, but I believe it's an
academic insight and I think so can be replaced with being a little bit.
We paint this picture based on a very small amount of information and we make it
based on public space.
So, I, a way to kind of fix that is you live a life of genuine curiosity.
right.
Instead of being like, well, what the hell, why did that guy do that?
It's like, well, dude, why did he do that?
Yeah, curious.
Yeah, yeah, thousand percent.
To that point, I actually heard a really powerful speech the other day.
It was talking about perspective as the Alex.
And a lot of people, you said that on the show, but it kind of returned to the brain
a little bit.
Where it's like, ah, perspective as the Alex, but it's not really true.
Because...
we see our life from our own perspective, right?
You see your life from your own perspective.
I'll never have your perspective.
But where this comes into play to your point is perception.
Right?
So it's like, all right, your perception of me.
and my perception of you, the way to kind of get outside of your own perspective in
life is to look at things from their perception.
So you step outside yourself and almost see it from a third party.
And it's like, instead of me judging you for what you're doing, it's like, all
right, well, I'm judging you against my perspective of what I would do or what,
how I would do it better versus like, all right, well, why did he do it this way?
And I'm looking outside myself.
It's like, all right, well, I'm going to look outside of this whole situation from
a third party.
Maybe he's doing it better than I could do it.
And maybe that way is the right way.
Right.
That's something here that I have to consider on a daily.
basis working with other leaders on big projects, where it's like, no, my way is
not necessarily the only way I have to think about it from their standpoint.
So when you get out of that judgment, and it's just genuine curiosity, all right,
well, you know, even to that point with Abby stepping in, it's like, well, why
does her brain go one way and mine's the other?
And then I think about it from an outside perspective, and it makes a difference.
And I think with what you said too, it's like, you can't make a decision based on
the information that you have, especially if it's this tiny, because it's going to
be the wrong one.
And, you know, with also looking at it from a third person point of view, I think
you also have to step in that person's shoes, right.
And look at it from their perspective, because I think that's where the real
power is and also to your point too.
It's like when you're talking about the different leaders that you might be
working with, it's easy to assume or think that your view is right.
But I think it's also important for it works both ways.
right?
Because that's how you come to the commonality of what is the right thing to
do, what is the right action to take.
And if you don't do that, you're missing out on a huge piece, right?
It's like a, I know in school we used to do the diagrams, right, the three
diagrams.
Van diagrams, baby.
Yep.
But if you have only one circle and you're trying to make a decision that requires
three, right, to come to the commonality,
to make the wrong one.
So it's like, you got to almost look at it from, okay, my circle, their circle.
third person circle and then it's like what's the commonality?
I think if you do that you'll find the answer that you're looking for at least
the direction you go.
But dude I agree with you I think social media plays a big role in it and I think
if the world
would a hundred percent change and be different, if we all chose to step in
other people's shoes and just try to see the world in their view, right?
Like I think we solve a lot of problems that way.
You know, and that's actually one thing I'm very thankful for that I picked up on
early on because I've been around so many different cultures, so many different
people, so many different types of things.
Right?
Like, you know, you hear those people back in the day when they're like, yeah, dude,
I used to hang out with the drug dealers and the gangsters and also the nerds,
right?
But I think there's some value to that because you see all kinds of perspectives.
Right.
Now, reality becomes real, more real from your view because you have those
perspectives.
So to your point, like perception is reality.
not necessarily.
It's your reality.
Reality is based on a bunch of different factors.
But again, if you have factors with different kinds of groups, different kinds
of thinking, you get to kind of form the core belief or the core reality that we're
living in.
Yeah, I agree wholeheartedly.
And I think that's a really positive message that we can even spin and direct
right to a marriage.
awareness.
Absolutely.
So many people in this world, they are only fair about their perspective and
their point of view and problem.
the discussion or the fight or whatever it is.
And it's like, that's people ask all the time, like, why don't like, do you and Kim
fight?
No, we don't.
Not a whole lot.
Because like, it's easy for me to distract my ego and be like, no, I want to see it
from your point of view.
And then instead of me trying to push my point of view, it's like, let's look at
what's what we actually know and what the facts are.
what the facts are.
What happens when you remove ego and you actually look at it from another
perspective is, or their perception is an invasive collaboration.
Because hey, I'm not against you.
I'm with you.
There's even been fights that get in my head.
Hey, I'm on your team.
Like, I want to figure this out.
Like, I'm not trying to make you look bad or feel bad.
So that's something that you deal with on a consistent basis.
Or even if you just deal with humans, like it's such a valuable point is like, Hey,
remove judgment.
with on that consistent base.
But even if you still think it's such a valuable point, look at Noble and Tent.
This person is probably not doing this just because they're off, they're not
thinking, I want to ruin Josh's life.
They're just living their life with their limited scope.
And sometimes it just takes you as the leader or the person controlling the
situation to give them a better perspective than to step into theirs.
you work with, the people you're around, if you do that, you start to appreciate
them more.
and watch how closer you guys get and bond and watch how much they come become on
your team, or like, they're part of your team now.
Right?
Oftentimes, it's like two people competing instead of like, hey, how do we get
together, get on the same page and let's push forward.
Right?
And I think a lot of that is, again, our own ego.
And removing that ego opens up so many doors, regardless of if it's
relationships, physical, mental, spiritual, whatever you're working
towards, but it opens up all these doors.
But it changes your life.
too.
And I think it's kind of cool that we, we just started talking about this because I
do believe that is also the process of becoming a better version of yourself.
It's that you have to see the world in a different light and your light is not
always the correct one.
Yep.
It's good.
Man, there's so many different directions you can go with that.
I agree.
I want to throw out one thing here.
I forget.
I actually posted this.
There was a Lex Breeden post and he put, I'll pull it up and we'll figure it out.
maybe clip it.
We'll figure it out.
But he talks about how even evil people believe that they're doing right.
And he's like, sometimes, you know, it's like, that's why we as people need to step
out and see like, hey, are we the evil people that we think we're doing the right
thing, but maybe we're not.
And I know that's kind of crazy to say or think, but it's true.
A lot of the people that do that shit, the evil people, they truly believe that
they're doing something good.
And that kind of makes you go, okay, hold on, I gotta, what am I doing wrong here?
You know?
Like, I gotta step out and really see my life, because I think it opens a lot more
doors.
that takes my brain is on the global scale.
Something I've been doing a lot over the last year.
It's like, and this is an interesting perspective for you.
you're not born in, you weren't born here in this country, but like my whole life,
like, and even now, like to this day, like America is the best, America is awesome,
America is the freedom fighters of the world.
Well, over the last year, I've been questioning that a lot.
And it's like, all right, we've been told our whole lives that China and Russia are
the enemy.
Over the last year of my own research and looking into it myself, Russia is not the
enemy.
Russia is the scapegoat for a lot of stuff because they don't buy into the
superpowers of that B and they do their own thing.
Right.
And like
the truth a lot, there's a lot of stuff to get squashed so it makes me question
everything and you look at all the different things that are coming out and
you're never going to see it again America is exactly the child of the world of what
we do and how we build things
do things.
So to that point, it's like, if it's on a global scale, how much more so on like
just a day to day, the things that you believe in, the things that you've been
told, you gotta start questioning stuff.
You gotta start doing your own research, thinking for yourself.
And I think that I was-
problem is us.
It's the you version, right?
Because to your point, if that's happening on a global scale, bro, how many people is
that affecting?
And how much of us has it affected?
And.
if we don't take control ourselves, it will never change.
And I know it seems impossible when you look at it from a global scale.
But if you can change yourself, you can change your family, you can change your
family, you can change your town, your country, your whatever, it grows but it
starts with you.
So dude, that's a...
yeah man, it's an interesting view because I'll be honest, as long as I've lived
here, I love this place.
It's allowed me to have the opportunities that I have.
allowed my family to have the opportunities that we have.
But I've always questioned a lot of those things.
It was funny, I had a conversation with my dad and he was telling me about like 911
conspiracies and shit.
And I was like, dad, dude, I've studied this since I was like 14.
I was like, dog, you're a little late to the game.
But dude, I've always just had the questioning just because of what I grew up
in.
And it was tough because it's like, if I met you 20 years ago and had this
conversation, me and you might've not gotten along.
You know what I mean?
Just because we had those two types of opposing views.
But.
I think that happens more often than we could imagine.
So like I'm grateful to have the type of view that you have now.
Now it wasn't to this extent, like I don't know all the stuff I know now back then,
but there was always those question abilities of like, I don't know, man, that
kind of seems off.
You know what I mean?
But yeah, dude, it's a very interesting thing.
Very interesting thing.
know what I mean?
But yeah, it's a very interesting thing.
I saw a meme last night made me laugh.
It took me a second, but it made me laugh.
It was a time traveler travels back in time to September 1st, 2001.
And he ends up talking to George Bush and he says, hey, did the 9-11 attacks happen
yet?
And George Bush says, no, not yet.
Oh, that's funny.
I laughed.
That is a good one.
I actually shared it a couple of times.
Oh, really?
I haven't seen that because I've known it the whole time.
So I haven't been looking for confirmation.
Yeah.
Did you see the thing where like the BBC broadcast like talked about building seven
coming down like two hours before it actually came down and like actually aired
footage of it?
Yeah.
And like they, people are like, oh, it was a time delay.
I'm like, no, like there was people that actually like went into it and looked at
like, no, like they had the footage of building seven coming down before it was
like a possible thing.
Yeah.
It's a whole, it's crazy.
I think we just changed your podcast name to the impossible.
Yeah.
The truth.
We need some of that X-Files music.
All right.
Let's dive into this.
I don't want to scare everybody off.
Cause I know not everybody is ready for the conspiracy discussion, but today guys,
we are going to be diving in and talking about belief.
Right?
Belief is one of those things that we felt like would be a great topic because, um,
it's one of those things that ebbs and flows through the journey.
Right?
So just starting out the discussion on belief is understanding that belief is one
of those things very similar to the process of becoming that you're always
going to be in the process of building.
You're going to have days of high belief days of low belief.
Um, but really this, the punchline is that you got to discontinue executing when
beliefs higher beliefs low.
Um, it's, it's like a muscle, you know, the more you flex on it, the more you
understand and live it intentionally and intentionally understand how it works.
to essentially and essentially understand how it works.
Mostly you'll be able to ask the question and even more so you'll have that because
you care.
Dude, I love that you said it is a muscle because it really is.
And it's something you have to train.
And where my mind goes, and I think this is the best place to start, is where does
that even belief come from?
Because, you know, it's not like we don't believe anything our whole lives, right?
And then now we're like, oh, how do we start believing, right?
We're...
We are at this point right now when we do have beliefs that we have, regardless of
if they're right, wrong, maybe on the dark side, maybe not on the dark side, maybe
more positive, whatever it is, but we still have beliefs.
And I think a good place to start with this whole process is where do our beliefs
come from?
Right?
Because I think a lot of us just assume that what we have now is exactly the truth
in who we are.
Right?
But you guys got to remember and it's, and I say you guys got to remember, but all of
us got to remember.
that a lot of the beliefs we have now have been built.
trained through our experiences through our life.
Right.
And also with this too, and this is what makes it hard to switch out of is, you
know, Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was your thought patterns.
Neither was your belief systems.
When we say belief systems, it's, you know, how where's your brain go and how
are you believing and what are you believing in and how'd you get there?
But I think the whole purpose of where you kind of have to start is how did you get
to the belief you have now?
now?
Looking back at it, right?
Like, hey, I believe this, but who else in my life has made me talk with this or
showed me this?
And then now you record that, what can you like, well, do they have the life that I
want?
Where are they at now?
And...
now you start to really put those, your belief system to who kind of started it
off for you and look at, Hey, does this match to what I want to be or who I want
to be?
And does this make sense?
And I think that's where you really have to kind of start is like, where did your
belief system start?
You know, um, Josh, for you, when it comes to.
looking back and seeing that place of the places that you learned those systems or
those beliefs, what would you say to someone or a tip or how do you kind of
start breaking that mold?
You know, like obviously I said, look back and see where that started, but is there
anything else that you would add to that?
else that you would add to that?
I think that it's really important that if you want to break the mold is to identify
what molded you in the first place.
Right.
And then really look at it from the, you kind of made the point of like, is that
what you want to be?
And understanding that you don't have to be that way.
You know, you see it all the time in the world with, you know, people that may have
grown up in inner city and they're pretty isolated.
They're around like the same thinkers or the same thought patterns.
and then they leave there and they become very successful.
You can see a lot of times with that.
Absolutely.
It's because they've been exposed to other beliefs and then they just make a back-up
decision of like, oh shit, they have a choice to continue believing that or have
a choice to open up their mind and have that growth mindset.
Like no, this is new.
Absolutely.
This is better.
I'm gonna go this route.
I don't need to teach that.
Just give my friends hope that that's true.
And again, just come down and think of it for yourself.
A little bit of what we talked about was like the whole global situation.
Yep.
The learning how to think,
not.
what to think, you know, and unfortunately, we talk about the public
education system all the time.
It was intentionally set up that way, right?
So lots of documentation for it.
So it's the reason why, you know, if you are listening to this podcast, like we
give you a lot of credit because you are trying to learn how to think better.
And again, I'll never, you know, I said this the day I go to the grave, a personal
development piece is so important because you get to see other people's
perspectives, and you get to have your mind exposed to other people's beliefs.
And then you get to make a decision.
It's like, all right, well,
that's awesome.
I want that to my own, you know, so for me, going back in retrospective and
thinking about it, like, I believe this is a bit of a honor, or that, like, hey, you
just get to really sit in and see what the future has in front of you.
I didn't have a whole lot of positive views because of the way I was brought up,
but where I started to re-expose those things was when I was 14.
really athletic.
And it was like, okay, well, my coaches are telling me that I'm awesome.
And then I go home and I'm getting told I'm a piece of shit.
But like I choose to believe that I'm awesome.
Like I want to live that, I want to do that more.
So that caused me to go out and excel in sports more and to practice more and to
put more into it, which only led to my belief, right?
So it's a very important piece there is there's action involved.
And I think it also broke the mold of what you thought was right.
Yeah.
Right.
And another thing you said too, it's like there's also those athletes that are very
successful or not necessarily maybe the most successful, but they end up going
backwards and ruining the opportunity they have because they were still stuck a
little bit.
that past mindset.
It's like they had the opportunity, worked hard for it.
They had some moments where they isolated from that group, but because they continue
to believe a lot of the same things that were taught early on, they end up going
back into it and all of a sudden their life is ruined.
Now they're getting fined.
Now they're going to jail.
Now something bad is happening.
Now they're back to the bottom and they were once at the top and it's like, what
happened?
Well they...
got away from the big systems but got back into them yeah right and i think your
point is it's you have to
be able to see all these different sides of those things.
Right.
Because again, you know, what we just touched on is, is changing your beliefs or
what you think helps open your mind to a new, new realm, new possibility, new, new
person that you can become, you know, and, and I think that's a big piece of it, man.
Um, you know, one thing I even recommend doing is, you know, writing all those
stuff down, right?
It's like, Hey, what are my beliefs?
You know, and go journal and pull.
It's like, all right, what do I believe?
What do I believe about relationships?
What do I believe about life?
What do I believe about money?
What do I believe about...
sports?
What do I, whatever it is, you know, when you really start picking it apart.
Because when it's there, now you can question those things.
You know, a lot of us try to work through a lot of shit in our mind, but then we
don't really get anywhere because it's too much and then we stop and then all of a
sudden, two weeks later, you're like, damn, I was thinking about that and I
stopped, I don't know what happened.
So I highly recommend like writing that stuff down because it's clear, you know,
and then you can start challenging those things.
And dude, that's what I did too.
Because early on, and I've talked about this wherever...
I really started to take soccer serious because that is where a lot of my belief
in life kind of started to change.
But I started writing all that stuff down and started questioning things that were
normal to me.
Like, hey, why I don't think I'm good enough to do this?
Or hey, why I don't try as hard in this even though I know I'm capable?
And it's just like all these questions started to come about and I'm like, none
of my thoughts actually make
any fucking sense to what I want.
want.
You know what I mean?
But again, it's all just built on the ceilings that we have from the past.
So yeah, man, it's a it's an interesting thing.
But I think there's a lot of a lot of value to this piece, because I think it's
like the glue that holds everything together, you know, because it's like,
yes, I do believe actions come before the belief.
But if you keep taking actions and actions and actions, but then you never really try
to believe or look for a way to believe in something more, you kind of stay stuck
there, you know,
And I don't know what your thoughts are about that.
but I do think that you have to start practicing certain things to start really
seeing that life.
But then you also have to train that belief because again, belief is that
centerfold in my opinion.
Yeah.
I think that a couple of things I want to say on that is the whole idea of you
probably
Your mind knows exactly.
It's weird.
When you think about it, you get really introspective on it.
Your mind knows exactly what is going through your back.
Your mind knows.
If you're trying to say something in your mind, it's like, no, you better, your mind
knows.
And now you want to go back to your mind.
It's really not a weird thing.
It's wild, right?
So that's why I bring you to time.
So I'm going to visualize it.
But at that point, your mind really goes into it.
And if you were raised in it, more or less indoctrinated, you need something.
it's going to take some time to get away from that.
You have to understand that.
And it's going to be very intentional.
thin, long, moving direction.
So your point about access and taking action.
So yeah, action comes before it goes into a lot of work.
Right.
Because usually it's the action that spurs, like the thought process of, okay,
like I'm capable of more, which is the spark of the belief.
But then also you're kind of forced in that process to come to a realization.
Like, Hey, if I want to go and continue doing this, I got to change the way that
I've been talking to myself.
I got to change my viewpoint on my past experiences, you know, and just to tie
that to a fitness journey, we see it all the time.
all the time.
People say, I can't do this, okay, so my parents are fat.
And then we see them break through that hole, they look under the ground, and they
break their picture on the street.
Right, I found that amazing.
Yeah, every one of my family smoked.
I was a non-smoker for such a long time, I started smoking at only eight.
And then it's at that realization, but I'm not just a non-smoker, right?
And I guess the biggest thing you save yourself is health, and peace.
They're all alive.
So you have to change the story that you're telling.
You weren't born in the poverty and the destine
for poverty.
Your future does not have to equal your past.
So like, what are you saying to yourself?
And what are you, like, what's dictating those beliefs that you have?
Because the words you say to yourself and your thought processes play a really big
role in it.
I like that.
I think we undervalued the conversations we have with ourselves, right?
I think you hear this all the time, right?
At least I've heard this all the time.
But it's like, when you talk to yourself the same way you talk to your best friend,
the answer is no, you're doing something wrong.
Because you
should not be talking to yourself in a way where you're putting yourself down.
Right?
Your parents, I think, becomes even more clear.
Right?
Because if I'm like, hey, John, the way you talk to yourself negatively, would you
talk to your kid that way?
You're like, hell no.
So why are you talking to yourself that way?
Yeah.
Right?
Because again, dude, that subconscious is so powerful.
And would you let anybody else talk to you that way?
Thousand percent.
If it's a no, then why are you doing it to yourself?
Yeah.
And it's kind of crazy because it's...
it's, it's like, we're our own best friend and our worst enemy at the same time.
And we can choose which one we are.
Yeah.
But I think to your point with talking and self-talk, it's such a big piece because
the more you talk to yourself in a positive way, you have maybe these
affirmations that you're telling yourself, you start building this tap of your brain
where it's so much easier to walk down and then subconsciously that's, that positive
thought becomes a first thought and not a negative thought.
Yeah.
Right.
I, there's this example, but it's how the brain works, right?
Like.
neurologically, if we do something so many times and do it repetitively, it becomes
engraved.
Okay.
And the best analogy that I've heard of this is like, Hey, you see this big tall
grass field, right?
And the grass is like six feet tall.
Okay.
So the first time I walk through it, I need a machete and I'm cutting through,
I'm trying to make this path.
And it's tough, right?
Okay.
Second time, it's a little bit clearer.
I still need it to kind of cut some branches, whatever.
50th time, okay, well now the grass is already planted.
implanted.
So it's a lot easier.
I don't need my machete anymore.
I don't need to cut down all these trees.
I don't need to move all this stuff.
It's, it's easier to walk by right now.
The hundredth time I'm laying down stones.
Okay.
So now I'm making the path even easier to walk through.
It's not as tough anymore by the day 200, 300, 400.
I have a whole entire walkway that's six feet wide.
I, it's a clear path to clear road, easy to walk down.
That's how our brain works.
so when you're negatively talking to yourself what you're doing is you're
building that type of path in the negative ground
But it also works in the positive, right?
Like when you look at someone who's very successful or people who do well in life
and you think about their thoughts and how they operate, it's like, what is the
difference?
It's positive.
But why is it more positive?
It's because they've walked down that path thousands and thousands and thousands of
times, just like Rome wasn't built in a day.
Neither was your mindset.
Right.
And it takes practice to do.
And to that point, we talk about it all the time, two most important days of your
life or the day you're born or the day you figure out why.
Really cool thing is when you pave a path like that, you now inspire other people to
walk down that path, right?
Which is really cool.
This is interesting.
I wasn't planning on bringing this up to the next podcast that we recorded, but
I'll bring it on now because it fits perfectly in this conversation.
Listening to a Tony Robbins audio book and he was telling a story about his friend
named Jerry Coffee.
Jerry Coffee was a pilot in Vietnam and he and two other men were shot down, right?
They were held captive in Vietnam for seven years.
They were in a cage that was about as wide as your body and it was six feet long so
that you could lay down and sleep at night.
So seven years they were in captivity and he made the decision very quickly after
like the initial shock of being caught.
He made the decision that he was gonna turn this into a positive experience.
He started talking to God and he started communicating with himself in a very
positive way and looking at it as an opportunity and a blessing.
So every single day he would do push-up sit-ups and he's barely being fed.
He is getting beaten for literally seven years.
And when he ended up getting out of there, he looked back on it and he said, I would
not bring that up if I could do a thousand times those out of the way.
And he ended up going on with a very, very positive life.
Okay, second guy, kind of committed suicide and he got to the end of his first
year of time.
Third guy, got out, he got rescued, and he was in the hospital.
Okay, so how did he do?
with themselves.
So like in that audio, um, Tony Robbins paints the picture of like, if you want to
change your life, the only thing you gotta change is how you communicate yourself,
everything else will follow it.
It's the most important thing.
So like when it comes through the beliefs guys, you have to understand that like, he
could have easily believed that, Hey, this is the worst thing that's ever happened
and I'm probably going to die.
Right.
Every day.
It was probably a subconscious thought, but guess what?
He retrained his subconscious to see it as a positive and he made it out and lived a
successful life afterwards and was able to tell that story to inspire other people
and to help people.
Wow.
Yeah.
So it's all on how you communicate with yourself and that, that is, it comes
purely down to, Hey, I'm either going to choose to believe this or I'm going to
choose to believe this.
Isn't it crazy that the power that we have as humans?
Man, it's, I always questioned why we just don't figure it out.
And I say, I question it, but I know, right?
It's the ego, man.
It takes over.
We like comfort.
But if you really think about it, man, if you spent 20 to 30 minutes, even just like
dedicated time talking to yourself in a nice way, it's better than not doing it at
all, it'll change your life.
If you just dedicate some time to.
to talk to yourself in a way that you would talk to someone else who you're
trying to see when or be successful or do something good.
But it tells you how much power we have and hold that we don't even see that we
have in whole.
And a lot of the times, man, we're looking for external things to be our savior,
right?
Like to your point of Jeffrey Coffey, he didn't look for external ways.
He knew he was like, Hey, man, I'm in this thing.
Okay.
Like I'm stuck here.
What can I do?
How can I take control?
And it's like, dude, if you ask anybody, hey man, would you ever want to go back
and live seven years in basically a cell where it just fits your body and you're
able to just lay down enough?
They'd be like, hell no, not a chance.
I wouldn't even do it for a year.
And the fact that this guy would go back and do it all over again a thousand times
and to see where he's come out of is mind blowing.
But it tells you the power that we have as humans.
And dude, this is the whole point of why we're doing this.
And by no means have we made it.
By no means have we got to this destination.
Guess what?
We never will.
We're going to keep going and that's the whole point of this is we're on the
journey just like everybody else.
Just like, are you saying that we're in the process of becoming so good movie.
Hey, man.
All right.
So who, if you could pick any actor to play you in that movie, who would it be?
For me, it's Jeremy Renner.
Cause people say we look the same.
Really?
Okay.
So when I think about who looks like me, I don't quite know.
Okay.
But there's, there's a couple of people.
Okay.
Depending on the type of vibe we want to put out with the movie, I'm going with
Ryan Reynolds, okay, or John Cena.
I know, I know, bro.
I know.
Come on, dude.
I know.
And that's why I would.
So would you not want them to be in our movie?
You know what I mean?
That's what I'm saying.
Okay.
My second option is John Cena.
Yeah.
I mean, you look just like him.
It's mostly the shoulders and the biceps.
I love it.
Um, and then the third person, it's going to be your eyeball.
Jackie Chan, Jackie Chan.
You can't have Jackie Chan play.
You're not Asian.
Yeah, man.
That's racist.
That's funny.
All right.
So we kind of, we kind of went through like, all right, like all the different
things that affect belief and belief systems.
Let's get into how we increase belief.
And I want to start this off.
And, um, probably about a month and a half ago, I learned the proper way to do
affirmations.
So I want to walk through this because what you said, there's two things that you
said early on, primarily, they both led into like, um, this self-deprecating
discussion and thoughts about yourself or words that you said yourself.
So, number one thing that you can do to kind of get over that is something that I
give as a practice tool to a lot of people.
that I mentor is if you have all these self-deprecating thoughts, get into the
habit of doing a mind dump journal, right?
Whenever you're emotional or whatever it's going on in your life, just mind dump,
like whatever words, it doesn't even have to be sentences, just write the words.
And you know, a lot of the times these people come back, it's like, Hey, like I
was writing all these bad things.
I'm like, okay, well, how did you feel when you wrote the things that like you're
writing about how you feel about yourself?
it by yourself?
They're like, oh, well, I started looking at it, and it's like, you'll start from me
to you'll need it.
Right?
You get to say, I'm writing this, and he says, okay, we'll now try to read it out
loud.
And when you try to read these things that you're writing down about yourself, if you
can even write it, cause I went through that process, I couldn't even write these
things about myself.
Cause I'm like, dude, as you're writing it, I'm like, it's not true.
It's not who I am.
Right.
And that's the whole idea of the exercise.
So the second one is the affirmations, how to actually train your brain.
And I've said it on the podcast before about how
how I'm against affirmations because of how most of mainstream media or mainstream
people talk about it.
So a new way to kind of discuss how to do affirmations, and this comes from the book
the miracle morning.
Okay.
TJ taught this to me and it's been a game changer.
So it's a three step process with affirmations.
The first one is going to be the what, right?
So whatever it is that you're, you're wanting to do it's I'm committed to blank.
No matter what, there is no other option, right?
So I'm committed to, you know, becoming the best leader I could possibly be no
matter what, there is no other option.
Second piece is the block.
I am committed to becoming the best leader because blank fills the blanks.
right?
Then the third part was really important to how right?
This is the action stuff to ensure that I am committed to this action.
I am blank and you list out the actions.
And that's something that write that down one time and then read that every single
day.
Right.
And then we can go down the Tesla route of the three, six nine, but, uh, read that at
least one time every day.
I've been doing that on my drive in, in the morning, just reciting that.
Really what it's done to me is it's focused on things in the day.
I know I'm not committed to doing that.
I can easily go through this thing over here because it's on my plate.
But no, I'm committed to it.
I'm going to take care of this for a few days.
So just another way to do affirmation is that comes from a book from New York.
I think that's a really good breakdown.
And it's funny because I've actually listened to a podcast.
I haven't read that book yet, but I've listened to a podcast from the guy, the
author of it.
And it was, I forgot who he was talking to, but it was such a beautiful, it might
have been Ed Milett actually.
Um, but there's a.
Um, but there's, Hey, call me.
He want to go on the podcast and say, you're going to have to wait.
Yeah.
I'm like, Hey, not yet, bro.
I'll pencil you in.
I have my people call your people.
Yeah.
You're my people.
Um, but no, I think there's no more power to that.
Because again, like I've been talking about walking that path and it's like, if
you can make it as clear as possible, it helps a little bit.
No one.
If you look at the book.
like the law of attraction, it talks about that.
Now it doesn't go down into the what, how, and why.
But what it talks about is when you're going into affirmations or ten things,
they act with you.
You can't be like, I am a millionaire.
I am this right now.
I'm the best.
I am the process of becoming this.
Or hey, I am working towards becoming this.
And just that little shift of words, it's like subconsciously your brain knows
what's true and what's not.
And it's like you can
again, shift the way you put those words down or write those affirmations, it can.
clear up so many things and make it more believable and true and going after it.
Right now with one thing that I want to kind of recommend doing is, you know, and
we've talked about meditation, visualization and all these things, but
when you take something like affirmations, write it down every day or read it over
every day and commit to that.
Right?
Like don't look seven, eight years down the line, just focus on that day, but how
you start to take control of it.
And by the way, when you do start taking control of it, there's never a moment
where you wake up and it's just good.
It's there.
There's never going to be a moment where you practice something well enough and all
of a sudden it's like, haha, I got it.
I'm a master.
It never happens, right?
If you don't train it, you lose it.
It's like a muscle.
So the more you can do it, the longer you can do it, the better it will get.
Right.
The little reference of the 30, 60, 90 kind of thing.
But I think if you can start that and if you can give yourself a whole year and you
can dedicate, now I'm not saying you got to be perfect and win every day, but when
50% more or when 50% of those days are shit.
If you can win 60, 70 or 80, you're going to get a better result.
But if you can commit to a year and even just do that alone, like not adding in
meditation, visualization, which I highly recommend doing too, right.
And reading and doing all these different things, but just that alone, watch how
your life changes.
Because again, when you get into now energy and all these different things, if
you're constantly referencing that type of affirmation and you're constantly focusing
on it, your mind starts to open.
And all of a sudden you start to see these opportunities, these doors that were
always there.
You just never saw that they were there.
And so I think it's important to like what you're saying, dude, it's, you got to stay
committed to doing it.
It sounds fun and great.
It's not going to be easy.
And it might not be easy for two weeks, three weeks, four weeks.
It's going to be a challenge, but the more that you do it, the better you get.
Right.
For you, it's easier to hop in those things because guess what?
You've been doing this for how many years now, right?
Like, so it's, it's a lot easier for you to catch onto those things.
Just like when you're an athlete, it's a lot easier to go pick up that football
again and throw it, it might be rusty, but you still have a lot of that muscle
memory.
So because you've done the work, I think for you, that's why you see that impact a
little bit faster.
So I just want to set that home for people when, when you're going in and starting
journaling and starting these affirmations, no, it's not going to be
fast.
It doesn't happen quick and don't compare yourself to other people too, because it's
different, right?
Then where you're at with the thought process, where you're at with your life,
it takes time.
So I just want to say, give it time with this.
Right.
And guess what?
in seven, six, eight weeks, watch how things start to shift.
seven, six, eight weeks, watch how things start to shift.
Seven, six, eight, you know, seven, six, eight, nine, thirteen, eleven.
Let's see a birth certificate.
You're like that, you're like that kid in the lovely word sees it's got a beard.
You're like, all right, let's see this birth certificate real quick.
Well, now that point, it's a really solid point, right?
And just to paint a picture of why I can step into these things is because I have
the belief that.
in the past when I've added something positive that was different that I
thought, I didn't believe it at the point, but I thought, hey, this is going to make
a difference.
And then in hindsight, looking back and having the belief that, hey, it did make a
difference.
Right?
So again, it's changing the story that you share yourself and it's looking at your
past experiences and it's giving a new meaning to them or like having the faith
really like, hey, I'm going to change this.
And it's something I put on my Instagram quite often is like, if you want to change
your life, you have to change what you do on a daily basis, something.
It doesn't have to be your whole day.
But if you want to change your life, you need to change something on a day to day
basis, otherwise nothing is going to change.
Right?
So do this and then understand like, okay, I'm going to step out and I'm going to
start journaling and hope that it works.
And guess what?
It might take you six, nine, eight weeks, whatever you just said to understand and
look back and have that hindsight of like, all right, which is the point we made
multiple podcasts ago of auditing.
It's like, all right, well, what has changed?
What is changing?
Okay.
Well, my outlook is better, more positive.
There's more like more things flowing to me.
more positive, more things flow in the same way.
So it's a combination of those things, but the belief isn't gonna be there.
It's gotta offer a place, knowing that hey, it's too positive, trust me dude,
they're telling me to do this and then looking back and doing it.
Thousand percent.
There's an example, I was actually self reflecting a little bit on just life
yesterday.
And there's a dude, like a friend of mine, and I kinda forgot what kinda big of a
impact he had on me on the start of this journey,
you know, to your point, whenever I first started.
just trying to get out of this belief that I had and just starting to see what is
possible in life, right?
And what I can do and what I can achieve and that I can have these how this house,
this car, you know, this life.
And, you know, it was it was a struggle at first because it felt different, right?
It was challenging a lot of the things that I thought before.
But along with that, too, it was so new that I kind of felt crazy doing it or
weird, right?
And within a month or two of doing it.
so one thing I used to do was I'll go to my gym at my college.
right?
Where like our basketball court and I would do a lot of my soccer stuff there.
And I would always see this guy who played on the basketball team.
He's a friend of mine right now.
His name is Josh Johnson.
Awesome, dude.
It is, it is a pretty solid name.
I'm pretty, I had a feeling you would like it, which is also ironic that your name is
Josh, but just hear me out with this.
Okay.
So I remember I started this journey.
I started journaling.
I started doing, you know, meditation.
you know writing down my goals because I don't know if you guys remember but
whenever I got that athlete mindset book, right, it was around that time where
things started to pick up.
So I started practicing and, uh, there was one day me and him just like, you can,
there was a mutual respect that you, but we never had a conversation yet because I
would be in there at 6 AM, 7 AM, 5 AM, come in early, multiple times training and
every single time I was there, he was there every single time.
5 AM.
And I would see him do his drills, work his ass off and then go over
just go book and write stuff down and I was just like, interesting.
I was like.
I don't know why but I'm like, I'm like there's something here.
I was like, so I just one day I'm like, Hey bro, like what's up dog, you know,
like saying, you know, and we had a small conversation.
And within that small conversation, dude, everything that I was doing, he was doing.
And that was the first time in my life where I was like, Holy shit, dude, I'm
not, I'm not alone in this.
You know, this is, it's interesting that this moment
happened at this time because it removed the creepiness for me.
And I felt like there's someone out there who's doing it from a different view.
I was like, Whoa, I was like, is this a sign?
Is this something?
I'm not too sure.
Fast forward to now, me and him have had conversations about meditation, all this
stuff you and I have been talking about, like, when it was still fresh in my mind,
I started talking to him about it.
And he was already thinking those things too.
And that was the first conversation I had with a person that was into self
development at that age, same age as me.
me, in a different sport, and it was just kind of mind-blowing.
And I know it doesn't seem like a big deal.
It's a huge deal.
But to me it is, right?
Because it confirmed a lot.
me.
But now fast forward, it's like I'm still close with him.
You know, he's still going out chasing his dream and I love it.
And dude, he's been along that journey and he played a pivotal role for me at that
time to keep me going.
But you know, and it could be a sign that your name is Josh too, right?
Like, I don't know.
But I go back to that because again, just from trying and doing these things, even
just that small piece kept me going.
And the reason I bring that up, those small pieces will happen in your life.
You just gotta be aware and self-aware of those things.
because he was there the whole time.
I wasn't aware because I wasn't doing those things.
The door wasn't open.
Right.
And I know that's kind of a different example, but that could work in any other
way too.
It doesn't have to be just meeting a specific person.
It could mean coming across a book.
It can mean listening, watching a movie and seeing something like there's all
these different pieces that can help validate what we're doing, if that makes
sense.
You know,
sense.
Yeah.
So I just wanted to hear that because, he played a big role in combining the
thoughts and the direction I was going with my life.
You know what I mean?
Yep.
For sure.
that don't get it.
It's just that it's different.
Like we're literally we're on a different wavelength.
You know, it's like I appreciate your respect to you.
But like me and you have these amazing conversations for a reason.
For sure.
And it's like, you didn't just one day, you're like, hey, let's have these amazing
conversations about energy and crazy shit.
It just started happening.
Dude, and I don't even remember how.
Like, I really don't.
Because it was like, I wish I could go backwards and look at it now, you know,
dude, because it's funny, I've had so many people when I bring up this podcast,
they're like, dude, I didn't even know you and Josh were that close.
I was like, really?
I was like, dude, that's like one of my best friends, dude.
I was like, you didn't know that?
But again, it's because
it's because even though we have
quick conversations or don't spend hours and hours talking, we cover so much
information and talk about crazy shit like this in the short amount of time, but it
was like, it was a build up.
You know what I mean?
But to your point, it's energy attracts energy and what you put out is what you
get back.
And it's kind of crazy that this is where we're at in this life.
in this life.
And I think it's funny too, because I'm trying to think back to like the initial
spark too.
And I can't recall it.
But one thing I can tell you with 100% certainty that you and I have never had
small talk.
this from when I never had to.
Never?
That's actually so true, bro.
We've never been like, oh, I see it.
That's so true.
I love this weather.
Like, it's always been like, it's good.
That's a mind blowing thing because you and I have had conversations for like two
minutes and it's not, it's never been something like, oh, hey man, how's
everything?
Like it's, oh, it's like, dude, I saw this thing.
And dude, you gotta, always, you gotta check this out.
You gotta check this out.
So I gotta check this out.
on TikTok.
Dude, okay, so I've been listening to this pastor and I'm like, all right, here we
go.
Let's go.
Dude, that's wild.
Yeah, especially when you got the algorithm of you, dude.
You have an insane algorithm.
talking to TJ about that.
He just downloaded and he's like, dude, how do you get your algorithm?
I'm like, let me, let me tell you a grasshopper.
I don't even know how it works, man.
It's all energy.
Just attracted it to me.
It is.
Guys, I want to kind of throw something in here as a litmus test for belief, right?
So you might be listening to this and you might be like, oh, hey, I have a high
level of belief.
But the litmus test is, and you can kind of throw in on this too, because it's very
basic.
What I'm going to say is do you have a positive outlook or a negative outlook?
You know, because if you have a negative outlook, you're always going to be telling
yourself why you can't.
And that belief immediately follows that.
It's again, it's energy.
You're now vibrating at a low energy.
You are going to attract things to you and that only tanks your belief from a low
energy standpoint.
Whereas it's obviously having a higher expectation, right?
What if this goes for the low energy?
Your beliefs don't imagine the public.
you agree
figure out whether it's positive or negative, I think it's easy to tell
yourself you're not negative and you're being real or like, nah, man, I'm just
being realistic, you know?
And I think that's also a problem because when you do that,
What you're telling yourself is you really believe that you can't have these things
and this is not possible, but guess what?
It never happened.
But again, the worst part is we don't see that negative.
We think we're trying to be real.
Dude, I want to go so deep on that.
What is real?
Now, that's an even greater question.
What's real?
Whatever we believe is real.
Kind of.
I was reading about a paradox yesterday, and I forget what it was called because I
just dove into it.
But it's talking about like, there's actually no physical way for us to know
that anything outside of us actually even exists.
Now this is Howard three, do you get, I'm like, bro, do you know, are you even real?
How do I know that you exist?
Tell me, tell me, you're my best friend.
Tell me how I know.
But it's so fucking good though, man, because it's a good point.
It's like, what is real?
But that's also the beauty of it.
real to me is totally different for you.
You're right.
You know what I mean?
For the most part, absolutely.
Because again, it goes back to what we talked about a few weeks ago.
I don't even think we talked about this in the podcast.
But for me, I know, like, all right, when I leave here, I got to go to soccer
practice.
I got to go to volleyball.
I got this.
Right?
I could paint a picture in my mind of what you're going to go do, but how do I even
know you exist when we're not together?
That's a really good point.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you have no idea.
This is only the beginning.
Yeah, like I know the real Dino.
No, I don't.
You could be leaving here and...
going and committing mass crimes somewhere like Batman or saving, saving lives.
You know what I'm saying?
But that's again, it's a perception and perspective.
Like we paint this picture of people and these things and these situations in life.
But how do we even freaking know?
You don't.
You literally get to create whatever you want.
That's the moral of the story.
You can create it, right?
Like I can create a story for your life and who you are and
energetically, you know, you guys are.
For sure.
But the whole idea is like I can create this for you, right?
You know, it's going to lead you to the other things, but how do I actually do
that?
You don't.
Right?
So, again, think that into your own life.
It's like, all right, well, this, and this could happen, but how do I know that?
Mm-hmm.
Right?
I'm going to go create whatever I want.
Because if I can create the story of your life, what you leave here, I can create
anything.
You know what I'm saying?
I want to switch that, dude.
I want to follow up with this.
But it's also how you can remove expectations.
Yeah.
Because with social media, we just teach people where...
27, 28, younger, millionaires, successful, you're like, oh, they must have grinded 24
hours a day.
That's what we think.
That we're painting that story.
But how accurate is it?
It's not always that accurate.
But you know what other stories we never talk about though?
Is the story that would help us confirm more of our own beliefs in the way of like
a positive route.
Right?
So it's like, when we look at these people who are playing five and we're like, oh,
29, I can't do what he does.
What about the guy who's started the enterprise?
you know, what about that guy who started a business at 55?
KFC was started when you were 75.
We don't talk about that.
We never talk about that.
But that's the problem with our reality.
It's we go into what we see, but then we kind of fill in the gaps ourselves.
And guess what?
Those gaps aren't always right.
Yeah.
Most of the time they're not.
Yeah.
But to your point, it's like, we don't know those things, but then we like try to
make, uh, make it real.
We try to make it like, oh, this is reality.
But you, this is also what happens.
with a lot of people and why a lot of people struggle to communicate with other
people is because they have this perception
of like, oh, Josh hates me.
Why?
Well, he didn't say hi to me.
I'm like, bro, what?
So what if he has to go on at home?
What if he just got told with a word about it and he's hired?
What if he's focused on this project yet?
But it's like, we go to the thing that we just like, this is it.
This is it.
There's no other option.
Bro, how?
Yeah.
It's that story that spins in your own mind.
Happened the other day here, I was super like distressed at work, had a lot of
stuff to do.
Wasn't upset, wasn't angry.
I was in a positive mindset, but I was just in go mode.
Like I'm, I'm a grinder, right?
So I got into go mode and I wasn't my super positive, fun self with Nick, who
sits behind me, handsome Nick, for those of you that know him, sits behind me.
And he's like, he came up midday.
He's like, dude, are you mad at me?
I'm like, no, he's like, you barely talked to me today.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, nah, dude, I'm just freaking grinding over here.
And like to him, you know, and I do have a resting bitch face when I work.
I have to confirm that.
Yeah.
But again, it's important to understand that.
that like your presence can literally dictate the energy of other people.
So to that point, something I wanna throw in there is, like we've all been around
these people that, you know, we look out to as like a super positive person or a
good influence.
And really a lot of what dictates that is their presence in your life and how they
speak into your life and how they interact when they're with you, right?
So if you wanna be that person that pours belief in other people, just interact
positively with people.
Tell them that you're proud of them.
asked them to encourage you to write small talk doesn't exist.
me if I get into a small talk conversation with you I'm like, dude, what are the
positive things going on in your life?
What kind of goals are you working towards?
Not like hey, oh, yeah, it's beautiful out there today.
Like yeah, I know I was out there too, you know
Yeah, it's like what value does this add to me like I rather sit there and do to
your point I think this is also something that's so beneficial to life is when you
can sit there and it's like dude Even if I meet you in the first five minutes, like I
want to know what your goals are why you're doing what you're doing How'd you
get there?
It's like bro.
How'd you figure that out?
Yeah.
You know, like I remember dude, we went to a rock wedding in Arizona and I met some
of the stars and like my first thing, the guys were calling me about how they do
rock and all this stuff.
I'm like over here like, dude, what do you guys do now?
Like what is your life like now?
How many kids do you have?
How'd you get there?
You know what I mean?
Like how's it like?
How do babies have it?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm very interested in rock and all that stuff.
I'm like, oh, I'm interested in rock and all that stuff.
This is a fun place.
Oh geez.
But dude, it's like going deeper, right?
But.
I think to your point, too, it's also that you have to be
for others, what you wish you would, or what others would do for you.
Right, and that's how you have to operate.
For me, that's a big piece that keeps me going, because I know what I wish I would
have.
I know what I wish I would have.
So I try to be that for other people.
And because of doing that, I don't do it for myself.
And I think because I don't do it for myself, it allows me to see the value I
give to others, but that is also what fills my cup.
And when I do that, naturally I can see the value.
pieces start to fall in line.
and everything works out.
That's where my mind goes.
But it goes because I know I'm doing the right, excuse me.
Yeah, boss.
Thank you.
But I know I'm doing the right things.
Right, so, and again, I think it goes back and forth.
But I think you have to look at it from that view, just kind of like your
perception.
It's like you gotta put yourself in their shoes.
We've also gotta be the person that you wish you would be.
Yeah.
Or you wish you were a hat.
Yeah.
Right, so, I think that puts a big role in that too.
I understand you, but this is a really big thing.
that there's like, there's going to be days when, and moments that like, you
don't believe, right?
Like going back to the affirmation things with the leadership thing, um, ended the
day yesterday, had a really awesome day.
Um, you know, I'm a leader here at first form on the leadership team.
Had a very positive discussion about like, just my role and expectations of me and a
couple other guys here, but it like, also tanked my belief at the same time because
of like how much further that I have to go.
And I had that moment of like,
I'm not like those guys.
Like, and, but guess what?
On my ride home, I still did my affirmations.
Why?
Maybe they weren't my most high belief affirmations because I know that my words
matter and those thoughts that I had of, Hey, I got a long way to go.
Words are going to trump thoughts every time.
So to Dino's point earlier, I'm just going to say it again.
You got to get out of your head and you got to speak.
Right.
And you got to write and you got to just get it out because when it's right around
in your head.
Um,
just to take this to a spiritual place, the devil has controlled your mind.
And he's gonna think all kinds of things.
pictures and it's gonna tank belief.
So if you're somebody that struggles with that, try to actually get out of your
mind, journal, speak these things, and speak what you want, not what is.
I love that.
And I'll add to that story.
I don't think you lose belief for a person out there.
I think it's just concealed.
It's a little bit smaller.
It's not as strong, but I don't think that ever goes with that.
Right, and I think it's important that you keep doing those things, you know, but
even with that too It's like hey Maybe you might be for you might have this long road
to go But a different perspective that I can I could even just pick out of that is
like well What if the skills you have now and who you are?
Maybe you're not gonna be like those people But maybe there's a need for a
person like yourself right now I'm not saying you have all the skills that you
need to do exactly
you know, maybe take something to a further level yet because there's still so
much knowledge to
But what if your style is still very important and actually has an impact that
you just don't see yet?
Right, now I'm sure you've thought about that already, but it's like, again, it's
quick to see that thought and be like, damn dude, I'm not there.
I don't know if I'll ever be there, blah, blah.
But it's like, hold on, no, I have good skills.
This is the things I need to work on, but this is what I'm really good at, right?
And I think it's also important to go back to the things that, not that you're
comfortable with, but the things that you know you do really well.
And then even if there's things that you need to work on,
it's like, all right, I do this really well, and I got you're doing the work.
subconsciously or consciously, whatever, but I can do the same thing for here.
Now, how can I combine those two?
I hope that makes sense.
Oh, a hundred percent does.
And that's honestly what happened.
Like I immediately went into like a retrospect of like, you know what, like
the, the disbelief came from the gap and the skills that I don't have to your point
is like, I like, cause I was being compared to like people that run billion
dollar companies and it's like, all right, well, if they did that, a, I know it's
possible B I know that me developing the skills and
through that whole process, I believe that I can develop other skills and those
skills that I develop on my own, I can make them a lot easier.
So it wasn't really necessarily a disease, it was just like a fear.
I know how hard it was to get a cure and it was just like that, I was just wrecked
according to the time.
So I left it on a great topic.
from a lot of action.
And looking back in retrospect, knowing that, hey, like I believe that I can
improve and that all these things that I've done got me to where I am.
And anything I do from here on forward is going to get me to where I want to go.
So it's a high level of belief.
And really what I want to kind of say there is because to Dino's point, there
are layers of, of thoughts, right?
It's what's your prevailing thought?
What is the core thought that you have?
Is it a positive or is it a negative?
Because yeah, we all deal with the negative belief happens all the time,
right?
It's all around us, but what do you bounce back to?
What's your bedrock?
not.
I don't know about that.
But what are you about to ask me just because I'm not?
Mm-hmm.
No, I can't react like that.
Mm-hmm.
I love that, dude.
It's going back to that core.
And I think you said it perfectly.
You know, for me, man, and I don't know how long we've been going.
I think we've been going for a while.
I like it.
The last thing I want to touch on it as far as like even for myself,
and I'm sure you've heard before, but I've always had like a type of perfectionist
mindset and I don't even want to say I've always had.
I believe that you have to be perfect.
And because of that, I feel like, even if I do things really, really well.
the one thing I mess up on that's the thing I end up focusing on you know and
it's still I still carry that over to this day like it's it doesn't just leave But it
gets I get better at controlling it Right and it's like dude.
That's something I struggle with because it's like you know as I'm telling as we're
talking to you guys And talking about like hey, you just got to win
you know, more days than you used.
Dude, for me, I feel like I'm not perfect.
I'm not winning.
You know, and that was a tough thing for me to break.
And on again, I still have those moments.
Right?
But I go back to that too because...
you know, it's again, it's a process.
It's the journey of it, dude, you know, and it's like, we're all humans, you're
all going to go through these even those guys who run billion dollar companies,
guess what, they're having the same thoughts you and I are having right now.
But again, we try to fill in the gaps, and we assume that they're perfect.
So we got to be perfect.
You know, one of the best blessings that my mom and my dad used to tell me is like,
dude,
you watch professional soccer players every single Saturday, Sunday, and wake up
in the morning.
How many times have they missed a goal?
I'm like, well, fuck, they actually missed a lot.
How much more money did they make from you?
millions?
And I'm like, damn, dude, I miss at a high school game.
This dude misses and he gets paid 100 million.
I'm I think I'm OK.
Right.
But again, you know, for me, that was always a challenge.
But I share that because it's like it never just goes away.
You just get really good at taking control of it.
Right, and it's like for you, you're always a guy who wants more and wants to
do better because you get grind, grinder, right?
Hustler.
put it I think Hustler sounds better.
Sorry.
Not even gonna go there with that one.
Okay, Hustler.
But I won't tell Kim.
But but I think it's one of those things where like even for you, you still have
those moments too.
But again, you got good at controlling because guess what?
How did you feel when you got home?
You probably felt 10 times better than when you left this.
And I think that's the important piece is never you're
piece is, never, understand that those things, never just go away, just get that
out of control.
Yeah, 100%.
And to that point, like the whole perfectionist mindset,
I think it's okay to have that mindset, but also have the understanding and the
knowledge that, hey, it's okay to have that mindset because that is drawing me to
this point, right?
So if perfection is a hundred percent, well, hey, 90% is still pretty damn good.
And if you don't have that perfection mindset, maybe your peak is 75, but then
you're operating at 60.
You know what I mean?
So it's the energy that's drawing you forward.
What is the expectation?
because if it's a really high level of space, it's kind of just a cheesy thing,
but like, hey, shoot for the moon, you'll land among the stars, right?
I don't think it's true at all.
I think it's fucking true.
Yeah, but it is.
And Coach Brian talked about this.
He's like, dude, I change perfection knowing that it's not real, because I know
other people look at it and they are a thing and they're not willing to even work
or try to go for that.
He's like, so I'm gonna go for that, knowing it's not attainable, but because I
go for that, I'm gonna get closer than anybody else can and I'm gonna be the best
that I can.
Exactly.
Well, you can do that with life and that's your point, that's what you're saying.
is, dude, if you shoot like 75%, you're not gonna hit you're gonna go 60.
go for it.
But if you shoot for 120, knowing that it's not possible, you're gonna probably
drop the hand top.
Guess what?
Cover a lot more ground than if you set the bottle all the way.
Yep, it's the expectation you place in yourself and the sense of urgency, right?
But it's also knowing that, hey, don't beat yourself up because it's not
realistic, you know what I mean?
And again, what's real?
But at the same time, it's like, if you know you can't be perfect, but you're
still shooting for it, you're not gonna be beating yourself up on a day-to-day basis,
because guess what?
That was a question I wanted to ask you.
to ask you, could you brought that up?
What is a win for you every day?
Like, what does a winning day look like?
That's a good question.
I think for me, so I can go back to it.
I've gotten really good with like my morning routine, my habits.
But I still look at that as a component, right?
Because how I look at it is like, if I can do those small things, even though I know
I'm going to have it or I know how to do it, where I've done it for so long.
If I start my day off with a win.
game?
writing a hack, right, momentum, right?
And then the next way I look at it is, all right, how do I add value to someone
either in the building or my team?
How do I make something today?
Right, so I try to categorize it in all different ways of how I can win, you know?
And the first thing that I do is like, if I can wake up early, just like I normally
do, and get my stuff done, even again, even though I do it so often, I look at
that as a win, because, you know, something coming from a perfectionist
mindset, like a lot of us do.
I would normally look at that as like, well, that's just what I'm supposed to do.
And it's like, sure.
Yes, it is.
But why don't I give myself a little bit of grace and be like, oh yeah, you did
that bar act and what's the next thing?
Because that's building my mental.
Right, so my first one of the day is always my college.
It's always my morning class.
It's always that thing.
And if I can do that, even if it's not perfect, I'm like, I got it done, cool,
what's the next one I'm looking for?
And the other one is the people.
I'm like, how do I add value to people?
I'm a people person.
I understand that if I can lead back to the goal, I think that is the key to me
accessing more in my life.
right, because that energy piece, right?
So if I could do it without the expectation of getting something back.
I know I'm doing the right thing and I know I like to work out the way it's
supposed to be.
So I always look for ways, how do I make someone's day?
Where can I add value?
Where can I help someone?
Where can I see someone smile?
And it's not just like one person, I'm like, all right, cool, I made Josh's day,
now I'm going back, but fuck everybody.
You know what I mean?
It's like, okay, how many times can I do this to do this in a day?
And then depending on how the day goes, obviously, you know, we all have different
jobs.
different requirements.
But what I look at is like, all right, how well did I do?
Did I not do well?
No, did I mess something up?
Okay, now what can I do to correct that?
Because to me, you know, it's hard to look at the things that you do wrong.
So I try to see where I can improve in a way where it's not beating myself up so
that I can correct it even if it is a conversation with someone or if it's
something that attacks that I didn't do correctly.
Because if I could retroactively look back at that or be aware of that and break it
down and be like, okay, hey, what could have I done differently?
I'm making more wins because that is the process of winning, right?
If I lose or do something wrong, I'm taking it in a positive way and looking at
how I can fix it.
Right?
Like before, if you would have told me, like, hey, you have to watch a game video,
you know, after you're done with the game.
I wouldn't want to do that.
Like, I'm like, I don't want to see all the things I made wrong.
I don't want to know about it.
Like, I just want to forget it and do wrong.
Well, for me, I'll be able to retroactively look at those things.
Yep.
Right?
So I hope that kind of helps with answering your question.
But like, for me, I look at it in any single way that I can.
make someone's day or do something of value to the world.
And again, I try to look even as something so small as saying, hi, I'm like, what
bigger purpose could I had an impact on?
Outside of just making you smile and making you laugh or giving you a few
seconds of like, oh, okay, cool.
I needed that, right?
I'm like, what is the bigger purpose on that?
Because to me, then it takes that small win into something bigger.
How would that make sense?
Really, it's a win when you say hi to somebody because they're like, damn, Ryan
Reynolds just said hi to me.
Really?
Hey bro, I'll take that one.
I'll take that one.
I need an extra hundred pounds, dog.
that comment.
Dude, I would say for me, it's literally almost identical to yours.
Okay, what I would add to that for my winning day is was I present where I was?
Was I where my feet were?
That's something as a father, somebody that's very ambitious with his career and
like just personal physical fitness and all that, is like, was I where I was,
right?
Was I working with my kids?
Cause that's a loss, like immediately.
So I look at it that way.
And then the second thing,
is a successful audit of my day, similar to you, but I audit my conversations,
right?
It's like, hey, what could I have done here?
And did I give 100% to that conversation and 100% of the value that I knew I could
give, right?
Or did I hold something back, which I mean, I can't remember the last time I've
done that.
So yeah, very, very similar to yours though.
Value, bro.
Yeah.
It's crazy how we're a lot alike when it comes to this.
Yeah, 100%.
I think there's a secret to that.
You know, not even, but I think there's- Success leaves clues.
Yeah, 100%.
100%.
I think that's the best way to put it.
It really does.
You know, but I think the more that you can do that and also with this, too,
there's never going to be a time where everything is perfect.
You're not going to win everything.
Like even in your days, as good as it can go, there's going to be a loss.
And don't sit on those losses and.
Focus on the wins.
Look at the losses and look in the long run.
Right, but even to your point, dude, as president as you can be, as much
reflection as you do, I bet you there's always a loss that you can pick out of
your day.
I bet you there's always something you can get.
Well, I definitely could have done that,
better, like always.
But again, there's a lot of things that you do well.
The reason I bring that up is because again, cause I'm a perfectionist or hate
saying even I am because it's confirming or telling me that this is why I am.
These thoughts that I believe
or this mindset that i thought you got to kind of work through is just being
perfectionist it's not real right and i think when you can realize that it gives
you a little bit more grace to keep going on that momentum because i think a lot of
the momentum gets killed when you're not perfect
So that would be my two cents into that, I would say.
Love it.
You think so?
All right.
I'll go with that, dude.
That was just, I wasn't in the right head space because the wifi kept seeing like
bull crap.
So I think this one was amazing.
Everything happens for a very, very good purpose.
And, uh, we definitely made this one better, but guys clean takeaways for this
one are.
You got to expect more.
You got to have a more positive mindset.
You got to take an audit of what is affecting your beliefs.
And you got to make a conscious decision to believe differently.
Right.
Yes.
It's really that simple.
Right.
And then you get into action, understanding that you don't have that
belief to take action, the belief will come right.
As long as you are looking at what is and not what was.
Right.
So books that we referenced was the miracle morning, and then I'm going to
throw up that Lex Friedman post.
So you got to make sure I grabbed that.
absolutely.
Guys, I hope you have an amazing, amazing weekend.
I appreciate all of you listening.
As always, if you took anything of value away from the show, please share it.
Our main mission here is not to monetize this and make it killing, because
obviously we don't, we just want to have value to the world and change people's
lives and help people understand that you can be better.
Oh yeah, thank you.
decision to be.
Love it, and we'll go back to the health side of things today in our viral clip,
please if you guys have any questions, do not hesitate for a minute or two to take a
nerd.
I also don't hesitate to talk to us
of helping or doing as much as we can to add value to the world.
So thank you guys.
We appreciate you like comment, subscribe.
I think that's a thing.
I don't know.
I heard that from YouTube.
So do all that stuff.
Help spread the message, share it to someone who can take value from this.
And yeah, that's all I got, man.
Talk to you guys next time.
Peace!