Em:
Welcome to BlackwaterDnD, where good friends tell better stories. This series, Balance, is a miniseries using the Powered by the Apocalypse system, Godkiller, which was created by Connie Chang, now available on Itch.io for purchase, and is proudly sponsored by Hero Forge and Moonbeam. This tale takes us back, long before the end of the universe, to a time when we begin to explore & understand old divine wounds that run so very deep, and what happens when love is caught in the middle. This story encouraged us as creators to strive for genuine emotion and connection, relish the space we create at the table, and take big swings with the way we approached our narrative. For this story, your God, everyone else, and the thrum of the Cradle, is myself, Em Carlson, and my GodKILLERs are played by Gina Susanna & Jannes Wessels. As this game falls within a holypunk and dark fantasy genre, it may contain themes and depictions that are triggering for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and access safe support as you see fit.

Content warnings for this episode include: death // parent-child conflict // romance // grief

So sit back and relax, heretics. And welcome to Godkiller: Balance.

Interlude One: Reuniting

Em:
You feel that last spark of your divinity leave you, Thielia, and this is truly an unknown thing, for a God to be aware of this kind of transition. No other God fought so hard to keep their divinity as they lay dying, but then again no other God tried to save the mortals they loved from the corruption that they knew would surely come had they not. This was not an easy choice. You knew that the energy required for this would be great, and come at great cost. You would be a flicker of what you once were. 

You look to Nepthysaket, one of your oldest and dearest friends, as she smiles a little, that soft half smile. She would wait as long as you needed. While she is not death itself, as the one who witnesses every transition, she is nothing if not patient. You feel her hand slide into yours as you well and truly die. You feel yourself slipping from this plane, and moving through the liminal space between planes. The Caesura. You have no body left to pull your soul from. But you remember how that was when that happened. A strong, unpleasant pressure, leaving an empty vessel of a divine body. And now once more that separation, your spark, your divinity, now stewarded by a mortal. You feel yourself slow, that movement coming more to a… easy pace, as you begin to drift, as if afloat, on your back. In water. 

And it hits you, of course. Nepthysaket has taken your soul to the river, as is her duty. As is her role in the cosmos. You look around you, both adrift to you, next to you, and above you, swirling in the space across your field of vision, you see thousands of souls, long dead, and finally at peace. You see above you, shapes that look like… constellations, shifting between different forms. Those, now those are your kin. Gods that died before you. Hundreds of them. Some you recognize. You see a sword gently spinning as if it was dancing... Pravaia, The Graceful Muse. A coin flipping over, and over again, and always landing the same way up... Sonasa, Luck’s Gambit. And others, you have no clue who they are. Those that died so long ago that you have forgotten their names. In the end, the Gods of the Lyrician Pantheon end up in the same place as the mortals who loved them so much. What is going through your mind as you drift down this river?

Anjali:
I'm… I find it remarkable that, even now, the experience of my journey surprises me. I find it remarkable that… If we are here, Gods and mortals, who has put us here? There must be something. Some energy, some… force, some creator. Because, it seems that even in this place there is an order of things. And where there is order there is choice. And where there is choice there is… some form of sentience. Who decided? I feel very small. For the first time I… I find it remarkable how unremarkable I feel.

Em:
Hmm. You drift, and you drift, and you drift. You hear a myriad of voices. You hear retellings of stories from childhood, chance encounters, first loves, first losses. Hopes and dreams of the people of the Cradle. Every one of them who has died, gathered here, travelling along the river, same as you. As you try and pinpoint some of the voices to tap into those stories and listen, you hear one voice rise above the rest. But maybe, in this moment you were supposed to hear it.

Em (as Cassian):
“Davos, it's your turn to deal.”

Em:
What would you like to do?

Anjali:
If I had breath, it would be taken away at this moment. In all my imaginings, I never thought that I would be in the same place… at any point in my journey, as he was. I turn toward the... the voice that I heard.

Em:
You slow yourself, and find yourself moving towards the edge of this small embankment on the edge of the river. You scan for the voice once again, and Nepthysaket stands next to you. She stands your height, clad in ornate black priestess robes, lined with gold and platinum. She has long curled black hair that falls to about mid-back, but you see small furred cat ears that sit atop her head. She wears a half mask diagonally across her face, also catlike, and you see that her left side of her body and face are quite heavily scarred. Looks like a burn, or a blast explosion. You're not sure. She never told you how she got it. She sees you straining to pinpoint the source. 

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“You can go see them, you know, before you join the rest of the Gods. I'll wait for you at the end before we get you on your way.” 

Em:
What would you like to do?

Anjali:
I look at her, and if, I imagine if someone were to look at my face, they would see the look of like, a 13 year old girl at the school dance, wondering if this is like, should I go talk to them? Should I not go talk to them? I don't know if I, is this, am I supposed… like all of a sudden all of her certainty and like… this is brand new territory for her in a way that you you can't imagine this being, this being ever having had, but she looks at her friend and then immediately turns toward them, and and moves as quickly as she can toward them.

Em:
Okay. You feel yourself start to walk, and then run, with ease and grace that you used to have before your body fell, and as you're running, you feel your form begin to come back to you. You feel…. more whole, than you have in two decades. You feel like you're able to have full control of those faculties. You're - the withering bark is now rich and vibrant. There is leaves sprouting in your beautiful long hair that trails behind you. You get a bit closer to where the voice was coming from, and you hear laughing. And you see two men, their souls painting a depiction of what they looked like on the material plane, not as they died, but how they wish to be seen. You see the man that spoke, tall, with warm brown skin, his hair in dreads pulled up and back, with deep dark brown eyes. A brilliant smile, warm and jubilant. He's thrown a set of cards down on a small table towards the other man next to him. The man that you heard, wears simple clothes, breeches and a tunic, but you remember him most with the gold plate and the sword you gave him at his hip. You see Cassian Goldfield, The Wrath of The Gentle Wild, someone who could balance both the calm and the tempest, a perfect countenance for your high priest. And you see him sitting with another. And as we approach, the other figure turns, as Cassian notices you, and sitting with him… Christian, who do we see?

Christian Carlson:
You see Davos. You see a man who is large statured, but not scary, not intimidating. He's tall, broad shoulders. He's wearing a gentle blue. He's wearing… gentle brown leather belt, sleeves rolled up. You can still see dirt under his nails. Seems like it's always there, rubbed into the creases and lines of his skin. Like a kid, who can never get out of the mud, always something to find. But what's most noticeable as he turns towards you is his eyes. Emerald green. They always are. They shine like there's some sort of mystery behind them. Always like he's about to say something, but he never quite does. And as he picks up the cards and starts to shuffle them, he stops as he sees you. He's got a dark brown beard, his long hair sort of drapes over his shoulders, but it's half up in a bun. His laugh lines creased around his eyes. And his face splits into that grin. It seemed to take over his face every time you saw him.

Em:
He looks strong, younger, before the war, about as old as he was when Ever first arrived in his care. She would have been about, maybe five. No signs or trace of the sickness that aged him much quicker than the war did. And Davos, before you, you see your Goddess. Here. In the river. And you know what that means. That means she's died, too.

Christian:
On his face flickers two emotions. First is excitement. Hasn't seen you in some time. And the last time he did see you, things were not good. He was desperate, and he needed a favour, which he hated. The second, is concern. The understanding of what that means to see you, as good as it is to see your face, it does mean that the world is now without you. And to him, that is deeply concerning. The third emotion, which follows as he processes the information, is empathy, and understanding that, as concerned as he is, his love for the wilds, for the world, for its people, is nowhere near what you experienced. And now you're gone, and you're here. His head sort of tilts, a bit like a puppy, as he looks at you, realizing what you must be experiencing, and he says,

Christian (as Davos):
“Goddess! What are you doing in my neck of the woods?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Ohh… my friend… [chuckles] I think I know. I think I know how it feels to be human. Because I am so sad to have left them. All these years I knew that death was a part of life. I told so many, myself included, that it was to be accepted. The only part of this experience that I accept is that you are here. My great bear, in front of me. In front of me! Stronger and prouder than I've ever seen him!”

[they laugh together]

Christian (as Davos):
“It's been a minute since I felt like this.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“It's been a minute since I felt like this. I haven't remembered the last time I ran like that. And here we are.”

Christian (as Davos):
“Here we are. Well, tell me everything. What happened?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
[laughs]

Christian (as Davos):
“What'd I miss?”

Anjali:
I look back at Nepthysaket. And ah… does she look like she's like… Hurry it up?

[Em and Anjali laugh]

Em:
You see as you turn around, she is already probably about… 30 paces ahead of you. And you know that she will wait. You have a bit of time. Probably not long before she has to ferry you where you need to go. She wouldn't rush you, no.

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Everything! [sighs] Well, the world is still there.”

Christian (as Davos):
“That’s a miracle.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Albeit a shell of itself, even since you left it. I tried. I tried so hard. I tried so hard to hold as much of it together as I could. But there is one very bright light I'm so happy to share. Your Ever came to me.”

Christian (as Davos):
“My Evergreen? How is she?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“She is Ever living, and Ever loved.”

Christian (as Davos):
“Good. Good. I hoped she would be.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“She is also in great pain as... as you would expect. She doesn't understand your choice. Not yet. And she doesn't understand why I was given a choice. I believe she seeks to find you.”

Christian (as Davos):
“Why would she do that? [long sigh] Did she seem at peace, or was she?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“There is no peace in that heart. I tried my best, to explain to her. To fill her with the love that you had for her. That I have for her. But… like any parent, I suspect this may be something that we have to let her experience, and go through. Whether we want her to or not.”

Christian (as Davos):
“Hmm… She wouldn’t know peace if it knocked her in the forehead. Do you know what she intends to do? How does she plan to… find me? Tell me it's nothing rash?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Well… Hard to tell. But I do know she is making her way to Glass. It is a long journey, yes, but, if it's any consolation, she has a small companion. You didn't think I would leave her alone, did you?”

Christian (as Davos):
“[laughing] And what sort of companion does she travel with now?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Oh, a sly little fox, of course!”

Christian (as Davos):
“Of course. She named it, didn't she?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Of course. [laughs] She named it Rowan.”

Christian (as Davos):
“How can you be so proud of someone and yet… so frustrated all at the same time?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I believe they call that parenthood.”

Christian (as Davos):
“[laughing] Maybe you're right. I thought that if I showed her that the world is full of ghosts, and it always will be, always has been, that she would make peace with that.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Do you? Perhaps you do, but perhaps she does not. Each soul has a different journey…”

Christian (as Davos):
“Mhmm…”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Each soul chooses a different purpose. We don’t know what hers is.”

Christian (as Davos):
“I suppose there's a reason you were the Goddess, and I was the bear.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“[laughing] I remember you galumphing through the forest, with a big shit-eating grin on your face!”

[Davos joins in laughing]

Christian (as Davos):
“Listen, when you're a bear, you do as bears do, don't you?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“As you do… As you and only you, do.”

Christian (as Davos):
“Oh, I miss it sometimes. And then sometimes I think, how did I ever do it? Do you know? [laughs] I suppose that's how it goes, isn't it? Ah, life. Always dualities.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“And this place? How do you find it?”

Christian:
He takes a moment, I think, looking around at his surroundings. Taking it in, before turning back to you. His brow furrowed. He strokes his beard a bit. 

Christian (as Davos):
“I think… It's calm. It feels nice. It feels peaceful. I think in some ways I miss the chaos. Nature was always so chaotic. The Wilds. [Thielia laughs knowingly] You look away for a second, and something's happened.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Mmm. Well, you know, I couldn't have made it boring for all of you.”

Christian (as Davos):
“[laughing] I wouldn't have been there if it was boring. Couldn't have been. And you were never boring.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Hmm… I miss what I was. I do. I miss sharing that. And even now… what I was in that inbetween form, I miss sharing that with you. I said something to Ever. I didn't realize how true it was, until the words were out of my mouth. ‘Sometimes those who love you take great honour, and pride, in seeing you in your darkest moments’. I took great solace in the fact that although I was not myself, my great bear held me proud. I may be a Goddess, and you a mortal… but you have no idea what you have done for me. Perhaps that's part of your charm. There is one more thing about Ever… I managed to skirt the rules once, to save the forest. I think I may have skirted them a little bit again. She holds you in her heart. And she holds me in her veins. She is not travelling alone. And she is not travelling as she was.”

Christian:
He takes a moment as he processes the breadth of that statement. A number of thoughts flicker across his face. Memories of... something horrible. He looks back to you. 

Christian (as Davos):
“Sometimes, pain creates monsters, and all they want is solace. I thought that if I could give Ever the chance, she would see that the world needed solace. The Wilds needed solace. Maybe solace isn't the word, I don't know, but, you tell me she is not at peace, and that she is on her way to Glass. Not travelling as she was. Does he think she'll remember who she is?”

Em:
Hmm.

Anjali (as Thielia):
“She will discover who she is. And that she is more than you believe her to be. It is a parent's wish to show the way, to guide, to protect. But you cannot determine her path, nor who she chooses to be while she's on it. I know this because I watched all mortals, all creatures, make their own choices.”

Christian (as Davos):
“Hmm.” 

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I may have brought life, but the choices belong to all of you. It pained me to watch you go through pain. I grieved at your losses. My heart ached at your failures. But I couldn’t stop them. I had to watch you grow. And sometimes wither. But I stayed because I had hope. They still do.” 

Christian (as Davos):
“Does she still have hope?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I don’t know. But she has determination. Determination means she has a goal. And if she didn't believe that she could attain that goal… she wouldn't be moving forward. So… Hope.”

Christian (as Davos):
“She was always moving forward. That journal.”

Christian [as Davos] and Anjali [as Thielia] [in unison]:
“Hmmmm.”

Christian (as Davos):
“Did you see the journal?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Oh, I did. I saw how desperately she tried to save you.”

Christian (as Davos):
“You're not wrong, if she's got one thing, it's determination. I can't imagine a single force in this world, or any other, that could stand between her and something that she wants to accomplish. Wouldn't want it to be me, that's for sure.”

Anjali:
As he's saying that, all I'm thinking of is... In my understanding, she is going to Glass to bring him back. 

Em:
She is going to Glass, to confront Nepthysaket. 

Anjali:
At some point or another my sister is going to have to face her.

Em:
Mhmm.

Anjali:
At some point or another, she is going to come face to face with a God, and it may not be pretty. 

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I tried to warn her to… Trust in your choice. I don't know if she will. I don't know that she accepts it. She is going to Glass to bring you back. At some point, there will be a consequence.”

Christian:
He brings one hand to his forehead, rubbing. Creases forming, as he frowns deeper, before he looks back. The sparkle, the mystery behind his eyes, replaced with a memory.

Christian (as Davos):
“I know she has her own path. And we all make our own choices, and maybe she doesn't have to accept that the world is full of ghosts, but the alternative is madness. And I hoped she would not choose madness. I wanted so much more for her.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I know. I'm sorry, I couldn't give her more. I had hoped, when I… gave a part of myself to her, part of what she would receive would be an understanding. Maybe not a peace, but an understanding that pain, and loss, and grief live in the same place as love, and hope. They have to all live in the same... being. You cannot get rid of one, and replace it with the other. I hope that the part of me inside her, when she does get there, and faces whatever she does. I hope at some point, she will feel us. She will know she's not there alone, and she will know that we chose to be where we are.”

Christian (as Davos):
“I hope you're right. But, Ever has a way of bending things to her will, always has. So, I get the feeling that if she senses we're there, it's only going to motivate her to do whatever it is that she wants to do.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Children are maddening, aren't they? And wonderful, and strange, and chaotic, and loving, and kind, and cruel.”

Christian (as Davos):
“They’re wild.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“They are wild... You've grown here.” 

Christian (as Davos):
“Too much time to think, which is always dangerous for me.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I also mean you've grown here. Your shoulders are broader, your hair is longer, you practically look like a bear!”

Christian (as Davos):
“[laughs heartily] Well, listen. Maybe it's the workout routine, maybe it's the fact that you sort of appear the way you remember yourself, and I might remember myself a bit more bearlike than I was. I enjoyed being a bear very much. There are a lot of qualities that I admire. Might have stolen a couple.”

[Thielia laughs]

Em:
You hear an echoing laugh from Cassian, who's given the two of you your space to reconnect. Cassian was always pragmatic and dutiful, organized and loyal. And while he was the right choice for High Priest, the connection was different between the two of you.

Anjali:
He took the title that I so wanted Davos to take. 

Em:
That's right. 

Anjali:
I knew he knew.

Em:
Mmhmm. And there was no begrudging, there was no anger. It just was the way it was. Cassian looks to you, Thielia. 

Em (as Cassian):
“We have had many opportunities to speak and now nothing but an eternity. I think that umm… I will have to remember how to pray. That I will have to relearn how to pray. It has been some time.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Ohh, kind Cassian…”

Em (as Cassian):
“Well… I tried my best.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I don't know if in this place... prayers are necessary. We all seem to be sharing the same... destination. In some way or another.”

Em:
Cassian looks down the beach, towards where you know Nepthysaket is waiting.

Em (as Cassian):
“I think… from what I understand, and I've been here a bit longer than Davos, is that… The mortals are here and the Gods…” 

Em:
He points. And you see… those constellations above moving and shifting. 

Em (as Cassian):
“I wonder if you came here because you gave your divinity to Ever, and otherwise you would have just gone there or, maybe Nepthysaket brought you. She's... It is magic to watch her work. That's someone who enjoys the… structure. It is quite a magic to watch her work.”

[Thielia and Davos chuckle at Cassian's fascination] 

Anjali (as Thielia):
“She is a graceful being.”

Em (as Cassian):
“And you probably shouldn't keep her waiting. I hate to say it.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“No, you're right [sighs sadly].”

Anjali:
I put my hand on my heart and just look at him, look at Cassian, and nod my head.

Em:
He excuses himself, he nods back, and knowing that there will be plenty of time for you to talk in the future, he gives you the space you need.

Anjali:
I turn to Davos, and I’ll walk close to you, and looking down at my hands that are no longer withered… I just hold them out for you to take them.

Christian:
He does. Gently calloused hands, but gentle.

Anjali:
And I lean forward and put my forehead to yours. 

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I have missed you, and I don't want to miss you again.”

Christian:
His grip on your hands tightens slightly. Just enough pressure that you know. His eyes look at yours, searching, but there aren’t words, not to convey what he feels. So he just tightens this grip, and looks at you. But like always, that stupid grin splits across his face. 

Christian (as Davos):
“It is good to see you.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Well, I suppose if you wish to see me again, you'll just have to look up.”

Christian (as Davos):
“I can probably manage that. And I guess if you ever need a bear, you already know. To look down. I’ll be there.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Curled at my feet.”

Christian (as Davos):
“It’s the best place to be.”

Anjali (as Thielia): [crying]
“Ever constant… I don’t have the words.”

Christian (as Davos):
“Let me say this before you go. Ever since I was a boy, I thought... when I looked at the trees, anything could be out there. Anything was possible. You showed me that was true. I would have stayed by your side for a thousand generations if I could. And the world is the poorer that you're here. The world needs wild. And I hope Ever remembers to be wild. Even if it's just for you.”

Anjali:
She pulls her head back, and she looks down at his hands, and she begins to pull her hands away.

Christian:
He sees the ring, just smiles.

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Ahhhh…”

Christian (as Davos):
“It's a nice ring. Suits you.”

Anjali:
She clasps her hands together and… just backs away a few steps, and turns her head to go before the rest of her body follows.

Em:
Hmm.

Anjali:
And she sobs her way.

Em:
Mmhmm. Davos as you see Thielia go, you try to imagine what she's gonna look like up there. What shape she will take amongst the stars, amongst the constellations, amongst the other Gods. And I think that stays with you, as Cassian returns to sit down, and he sees you wiping away some tears, with some of his own.

Em (as Cassian):
“Well, while you're getting yourself together, I'll deal. Okay?”

Christian (as Davos):
“[sniffles] Yeah, I think that might be best.”

Em (as Cassian):
“Can't have you dribbling all over the cards.” 

Christian (as Davos):
“Yeah, yeah.”

Em:
He takes them from you and he starts to deal again. 

So, you walk towards Nepthysaket, and you see her waiting for you down the bank near an archway. Looks like it's made of stone set into the soft sand that you feel beneath your feet. The sand itself is almost entirely ethereal, but solid enough to gain a stable footing. You continue further, and further, and you realize you've reached the end, the edge of the embankment that lines the river. You see it turns into a waterfall, the river does, and our souls drifting, traversing off to elsewhere in the cosmos, elsewhere on their journey. Because death is only the end if you assume the story is about you. She looks at you, as you approach, with a small nod. 

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“So you're likely to be wondering what happens now.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Yes, I suppose I am.”

Em:
She gestures upward. And you see those constellations once more. You know they are other Gods. 

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Most choose to ascend upward, to a place of rest. Some try and find the remains of the planes that they created before the River closed. Of course, their magic hasn't been able to uphold them, so they might have to do a bit of work, but… They can use a little bit of what's left here in the River. It is much less than what you're used to, but I don't think that will be much of a problem for you to adjust to.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“W-wait… Are you saying that I… I can create again?”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Yes. Of course. This is your afterlife. This is the River. This is the next chapter. It needs to be fulfilling and peaceful, otherwise we would breed unrest. And my job would become very difficult. I am one of two who can be here now without being dead.”

Anjali:
I look at my friend, and suddenly I’m thinking of Ever, and the confrontation to come.

Anjali (as Thielia):
“What would happen… Gods forbid… If you… What would happen if you died?”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Ah. Well, as you know, every God has a downfall. Something they keep precious and hidden that can be manipulated or taken advantage of, that must be thwarted or overcome for them to be slain. Mine? Well… there is little that anyone could do to hurt me, way that they would need to hurt me to kill me. I dare not speak it aloud. But know that I am very safe.”

Anjali:
There's still a slight panic inside her knowing that this confrontation is coming, and hoping beyond hope that… an agreement. A peace, a something, comes between the two of them when Ever it gets there.

Em:
Nepthysaket is nothing but, if not insightful. And she sees the myriad of emotions cross your face in that instant. 

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Before you cross the archway, if that is what you choose to do, who were you speaking to on the embankment?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“An old… An old fr… It was a man I loved.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Ah. If I remember correctly, you always loved very strongly.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Yes. And I love you.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“And I you.”

Em (as Nepthysaket): 
“I wouldn’t have done what I did just for anyone.” 

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Thank you, for all you've done.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Of course. That is my job, and my duty. That is my purview, what I oversee.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Even they,” 

Anjali:
Nodding behind me,

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Are impressed with your skills.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Oh! That's very kind of them.”

Anjali:
I look up. 

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I don’t think I'm ready for that yet. I think… I think I want to create something new.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“We can do that. I will tell you though, there is someone else up there who's been waiting for you a very long time.” 

Em:
And she points up. You look up, and you hear it first, before you see it. The sound of tinkering. Metal being worked by small tools. You hear crafting. You search. You search the sky for the sound, and you see the shape of a cog, half of a cog, illuminated by radiant light and you strain a bit further. And she appears more clearly to you. In her human form, working, as she always did. It has been a long time since you have seen her. You see a woman with curly, sandy blonde hair, wearing glasses with multiple lenses. She is in a workshop, deeply, deeply concentrating. She doesn't seem to be able to see you. Not from here. 

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“She has been here a long time. But you know that. And I know you loved her once. But, I'm… There is no rush, and you don't have to see her. But…”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Even in death, it's all choices.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Always. It doesn't stop. I wish it did.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Well, where's the fun in that?”

Em:
[laughs]

Anjali (as Thielia): [crying]
“I think…. I think… Eternity will wait a little longer. She is creating there.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Of course she is. I can't keep her away from her tools, no matter how loud it is. She's happy. Her dog, Tien, is with her.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Tien!”

Em:
You remember this celestial creature that looked almost like an Irish Terrier, never left her side. An extension of her.

Anjali (as Thielia):
“You know what? I have fought to create long enough. Perhaps it's time I rested a bit.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“There will be time for both. You have eternity.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Let's go see what magic she is crafting, shall we?”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Of course. Before you step through the arch, and I lose you to your creation, and her company, is there anything you wish me to know before I let you go? I ask this to everyone.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I just hope they know. You've known me long enough to know… I love deeply. And, I want nothing more, for those I love to feel that.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“They do, and they remember it.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“And tell me you do?”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Always.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Ohhh…There's so much I want you to know that I don't even know where to begin.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Is it about who you were talking to in the Seanmaither?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“She is coming. To negotiate with you.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“With me? Why?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“The man I spoke to. She wants him back.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Oh… Goodness.”

Em:
And she looks up the beach. She looks up the sand, focusing on Davos. 

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Wasting sickness… But he was not at Astuce, he was in Temisset... Oh, I understand now. Perhaps, well, if she's coming to speak to me, perhaps I can speak to her.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“When I say negotiate, I... I am not sure how peaceful those negotiations are intended to be.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Is that why you asked me if someone... What would happen if I died?”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Yes.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“The only mortal who could ever kill a God, is a Godkiller, and the prophecy has stated that it is a twin-souled priest of Archeveleon who will do that. So, unless she worships the God of The Oblivion and The Void. Then I think… I think that a mortal can't kill a God.”

Anjali:
And of course I'm thinking of what I imbued her with. And have I changed her enough? Then I look at her face, and her ever logical, peaceful, certain face. I realize that I'm doing it again. I'm turning my love into worry. 

Em:
Hmm.

Anjali:
And that I have to let things play out the way they do, because the path is not my own. 

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Safe you are then. And that gives me comfort.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Well, thank you. I'm glad. If she's travelling down to Glass, as I'm assuming she will have to if she's wanting to speak with me, she's travelling to Lybica. Perhaps, I can find her along the road, and encourage her to go for a swim. There are Samat in the Steppes... Perhaps I shall go down… It has been a long time since I have been amongst my priestesses, there's been so much work to do after the war. Perhaps she will listen. I certainly hope my high priestess is doing all right. I have been a bit negligent, but she is strong. Yes, that's what I will do. I will go, and I will find her on the path to Glass, and I will speak with her. Perhaps I can show her. I can show her.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Oh!”

Anjali:
I look at the ring! I look at the ring and I, 

Anjali (as Thielia):
“I don't know if this is crazy, but if she knows that... that you, and I, and Davos, are somehow connected… She gave it to me and… I can't... Just tell her we both send our love when you speak to her.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Of course, of course. And so you don't worry, Kruha and I will look after the Cradle for you. All things die. All things. So, perhaps I can be helpful in that transition, and the Feral Mother will look after the Web of Life, as she does best. 

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Thank you.”

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“Of course, my friend. And this is not goodbye, but just so long.”

Anjali (as Thielia):
“Of course.”
 
Em (as Nepthysaket):
“So go with grace, sister, and make sure you,” 

Em:
And she looks up at the sky once more, 

Em (as Nepthysaket):
“And her, if you see her, care for your wild heart.” 

Anjali:
On I go… And I step through the arch.

Em:
As you step through, would you like to find a place of your own to be and create? Or would you perhaps like to visit another's?

Anjali:
Oh, I think I would like to visit another's.

Em:
Okay. And in that split second decision, you find your next step pads down on a worked stone floor. You see Tien, lying next to a chair where Thissera sits, her back turned to you. He looks up, sits up immediately, recognizing you at your arrival, and you see his tail start to go. 

Anjali:
Ohhhh! 

Em:
And she looks down at him. 

Em (as Thissera):
“What is it, Tien?” 

Em:
And she turns around, following his gaze. And her hammer drops to the floor so fast, and she is up and out of the chair faster than anything you could ever imagine. 

[The Dance of Vine & Leaf by Si Rutherford - Thielia’s Theme]

Em:
Godkiller: Balance is performed by Em Carlson, Gina Susanna & Jannes Wessels. The voice of Thielia is Anjali Bhimani. The voice of Davos Halassian is Christian Carlson. This season’s dramaturge is Tim Carlson. Special thanks to our campaign artist, Mischi, who you can find @Mischiart on twitter! Our main theme for this episode, Light & Dark, was composed by Sean McRoberts. Character and location leitmotifs composed by Si Rutherford of Sounds of Adventure. Music and effects by Epidemic Sound. Cartography for this series by Chaim Holtjer of Chaim’s Cartography. For more stories, come follow us everywhere at @blackwaterdnd, and make sure to check out our Main Campaign on Monday nights at 8pm PST at twitch.tv/blackwaterdnd. To play your own campaign of Godkiller and dive into your own divinity, go support Godkiller by purchasing the ashcan on itch.io today, with the print version published soon by Evil Hat Productions. This show is made possible by our sponsors who graciously support us playing pretend and having feelings about it. We are grateful to be sponsored by Heroforge, who offer fully customizable miniatures made with their online 3D character creator! Head on over and design your own Godkiller, and get them printed in a variety of materials, including colour printing options! With new content added each week, check out www.heroforge.com to start bringing your character to life! This show is also proudly sponsored by Moonbeam, a better and safer way to stream! Dive into Realms for vibrant community hubs where creators keep 100% of what they earn while protected by Pyxis, a revolutionary moderation tool that learns and adapts to your boundaries. So check them out and join Moonbeam today! Finally, we’re thankful for our Patrons for joining us on our second journey through the Cradle. You too can come join us on Patreon, where you can check out behind the scenes info, our talkback show Chatwater, as well as exclusive Godkiller bonus content and so much more. Head on over to patreon.com/blackwaterdnd for all the info. See you next time, heretics, and to all the Gods out there, be safe!