Your wife changed after kids. You've felt it for years — the distance, the exhaustion, the version of her you remember from before that seems gone.
She's not gone. She's buried.
In this episode I break down what actually happens to women after having children — the hormonal shifts that suppress desire for years (not weeks), the identity collision that nobody warns her about, and the "touched out" phenomenon that makes her feel like her body isn't her own.
I also share a personal story — a trip my wife and I took to Austin — that showed me exactly what was buried under all of it. And what it actually takes to bring it back.
This isn't about fixing a dead bedroom overnight. It's about understanding what's actually happening, stopping the mistakes that make it worse, and learning to cultivate the conditions where connection — real connection — becomes possible again.
Because a good marriage after kids doesn't look like the honeymoon. It looks like an EKG. There are spikes. Real ones. Your job is to learn how to make them more likely.
What is Dad Starting Over?
Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place.
I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" "Red Flags" and "REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man". You can learn more about me, my books, one-on-one coaching, and the member-only part of my site called the Brotherhood at https://helpformen.com