WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:00.049 --> 00:00:00.730 Alison: Amazing! 00:00:00.759 --> 00:00:01.279 Are we ready? 00:00:01.299 --> 00:00:01.779 Are we ready? 00:00:01.779 --> 00:00:01.929 Are we 00:00:02.289 --> 00:00:02.919 Matt: I'm ready. 00:00:03.730 --> 00:00:03.969 Alison: How do 00:00:03.969 --> 00:00:04.360 I sound? 00:00:04.360 --> 00:00:05.740 I didn't really do like a full. 00:00:06.400 --> 00:00:07.630 Matt: Sound like a professional. 00:00:07.897 --> 00:00:09.607 Alison: You sound like a professional. 00:00:09.963 --> 00:00:11.613 Matt: It's almost like we've done this before. 00:00:12.333 --> 00:00:13.203 Hello, Alison. 00:00:13.743 --> 00:00:14.583 Alison: Hi, Matt. 00:00:14.883 --> 00:00:15.303 Matt: How are 00:00:15.513 --> 00:00:16.173 Alison: we are. 00:00:16.293 --> 00:00:17.013 I'm great. 00:00:17.043 --> 00:00:17.193 What. 00:00:17.373 --> 00:00:18.543 Is this episode...seven?! 00:00:19.303 --> 00:00:19.633 Seven? 00:00:20.483 --> 00:00:21.423 Matt: Lucky number seven. 00:00:22.203 --> 00:00:22.743 I don't know. 00:00:23.523 --> 00:00:25.293 Alison: We're getting lucky today. 00:00:25.293 --> 00:00:29.703 So exciting times at ADHd20 HQ. 00:00:29.853 --> 00:00:35.083 We officially released the podcast into the world yesterday. 00:00:35.423 --> 00:00:36.043 Matt: I know 00:00:36.523 --> 00:00:39.983 Alison: So all other recordings up to this point, we had no idea 00:00:39.983 --> 00:00:41.243 what you guys were going to think. 00:00:41.783 --> 00:00:43.130 And now we know. 00:00:43.130 --> 00:00:44.810 Matt: You like us, you really like us. 00:00:45.050 --> 00:00:46.700 Alison: I love y'all. 00:00:46.760 --> 00:00:51.050 If you're listening to this from the bottom of my heart, I am so 00:00:51.050 --> 00:00:52.760 glad that you're one of our people. 00:00:52.850 --> 00:00:54.260 It's a pleasure having you. 00:00:54.290 --> 00:00:54.830 Matt: Seriously. 00:00:54.849 --> 00:01:01.119 I just feel like this is exactly what I have been missing for a little while. 00:01:01.169 --> 00:01:02.649 It's just people saying. 00:01:02.649 --> 00:01:06.322 Hey, thanks for talking about this, which is so easy for me because 00:01:06.322 --> 00:01:08.182 I can talk about things right. 00:01:08.659 --> 00:01:13.069 Uh, and it just means a lot when people share stories, their own stories, and ask 00:01:13.069 --> 00:01:14.899 questions because here's the other thing. 00:01:15.139 --> 00:01:18.288 I know so much about so many weird things. 00:01:18.515 --> 00:01:19.385 Alison: Can confirm. 00:01:19.385 --> 00:01:20.495 Matt: Weird things. 00:01:20.645 --> 00:01:24.665 And I just, when somebody asks about the time timer and I can just 00:01:24.695 --> 00:01:26.765 confidently help them with that. 00:01:27.185 --> 00:01:30.245 Oh, my heart is just, it grows three sizes. 00:01:30.435 --> 00:01:32.565 Speaking of which I've started the time timer, Alison. 00:01:32.745 --> 00:01:34.215 Alison: Yay. 00:01:34.395 --> 00:01:35.235 But, yeah, I agree. 00:01:35.304 --> 00:01:39.729 Something that changed for me in recent years is like finding my community, 00:01:39.729 --> 00:01:41.289 finding the people who get me. 00:01:41.589 --> 00:01:42.519 We've talked about that a lot. 00:01:42.519 --> 00:01:45.579 Like it is so helpful to feel seen and heard. 00:01:45.579 --> 00:01:48.009 And it's so nice when someone makes you feel seen and heard. 00:01:48.519 --> 00:01:52.509 And that's what we've heard so far is that this is a topic that definitely 00:01:52.509 --> 00:01:54.546 resonates with a lot of people. 00:01:54.546 --> 00:01:58.386 So welcome to our nerdy, neurodivergent fun. 00:01:59.226 --> 00:02:00.920 And let's keep it going. 00:02:01.010 --> 00:02:02.450 Matt: Keep it going. 00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:07.176 This is a podcast about the intersection between ADHD. 00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:12.530 And D&D, Dungeons and Dragons, or really all role-playing games, but 00:02:12.530 --> 00:02:13.980 we play D&D for the most part. 00:02:14.760 --> 00:02:18.422 And, you would think there isn't, you know, that wide of a street, 00:02:18.452 --> 00:02:20.882 but you would be surprised. 00:02:21.062 --> 00:02:22.472 Alison: But you would be wrong if that's 00:02:22.472 --> 00:02:22.802 Matt: Wrong. 00:02:23.072 --> 00:02:23.432 Yeah. 00:02:23.587 --> 00:02:28.717 It's a wonderful way to talk about two nerdy things in our lives. 00:02:28.745 --> 00:02:30.615 what are we going to talk about today Alison? 00:02:30.683 --> 00:02:34.127 Alison: Well first we've done like this some, but not enough. 00:02:34.127 --> 00:02:37.867 So we're going to, we're going to start a new, little thing here forward. 00:02:38.137 --> 00:02:40.307 We're gonna roll something called a D100. 00:02:40.567 --> 00:02:44.317 And so there you have a percentile dice and then you also have a 10 sided dice. 00:02:44.317 --> 00:02:45.337 And so you roll them. 00:02:45.727 --> 00:02:49.027 And then there's a table that like, whatever you roll, the table 00:02:49.027 --> 00:02:50.257 is going to give us a question. 00:02:50.557 --> 00:02:54.877 So we're going to, we're going to get to know each other on an even deeper level 00:02:55.177 --> 00:02:57.037 and in doing so invite you to do the same. 00:02:57.109 --> 00:03:01.129 Uh, by starting our episodes by rolling on various D 100 tables. 00:03:01.181 --> 00:03:03.900 Let's you and I both roll now and see what numbers we get, shall we? 00:03:03.900 --> 00:03:05.620 Matt: Can I slip in a fun fact real quick. 00:03:05.890 --> 00:03:06.940 Alison: Yeah, you can. 00:03:06.940 --> 00:03:07.360 Matt: Okay. 00:03:07.930 --> 00:03:08.980 Fun fact real quick. 00:03:08.995 --> 00:03:10.815 When I was little, they had D10s. 00:03:11.385 --> 00:03:14.417 But they didn't have the, the tens of a D 10. 00:03:15.167 --> 00:03:15.967 Alison: The percentile dice? 00:03:15.967 --> 00:03:19.597 Matt: What I'm looking at now is I'm looking at one D 10 that has a 00:03:19.627 --> 00:03:22.087 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90. 00:03:22.087 --> 00:03:26.377 And it's so convenient because when you roll that one with a regular D 10, that 00:03:26.407 --> 00:03:30.407 only has one through 10, then you can know which one is which, but back in 00:03:30.407 --> 00:03:32.897 the day, back in my day, they didn't do 00:03:32.897 --> 00:03:34.937 Alison: Back in your day, get off my lawn. 00:03:34.937 --> 00:03:35.267 Matt: true. 00:03:35.267 --> 00:03:36.447 quality of life improvement. 00:03:36.447 --> 00:03:36.971 to dice. 00:03:37.781 --> 00:03:38.771 I'm sorry, keep going. 00:03:39.341 --> 00:03:39.461 What 00:03:39.491 --> 00:03:40.541 Alison: Dice so nice. 00:03:40.571 --> 00:03:41.031 All right. 00:03:41.048 --> 00:03:44.948 What did you roll on your two beautiful dice? 00:03:44.978 --> 00:03:48.128 That's so much better than the olden times. 00:03:48.548 --> 00:03:48.668 The 00:03:48.728 --> 00:03:49.538 Matt: My goodness. 00:03:50.408 --> 00:03:52.488 I rolled a 100. 00:03:52.488 --> 00:03:52.698 Alison: Oh, 00:03:52.724 --> 00:03:53.792 well, I love that. 00:03:53.882 --> 00:03:54.332 Okay. 00:03:54.332 --> 00:03:56.692 I feel like you're going to have a great answer for this question. 00:03:57.912 --> 00:04:01.112 Matthew Bivins, what makes you respect others? 00:04:01.407 --> 00:04:02.787 Matt: What makes me respect others? 00:04:02.861 --> 00:04:03.521 passion. 00:04:03.958 --> 00:04:04.638 In what you do. 00:04:04.888 --> 00:04:06.418 Pride in what you do. 00:04:06.510 --> 00:04:10.129 I'm not talking about Pride in how you look or though if that's 00:04:10.129 --> 00:04:11.419 your thing, I love that too. 00:04:11.629 --> 00:04:18.499 Anything that you can talk passionately about and that you really work hard at. 00:04:18.679 --> 00:04:21.909 That will gain my respect from you instantly. 00:04:22.059 --> 00:04:24.069 And I'm not saying you have to be good at that thing. 00:04:24.399 --> 00:04:27.849 But If I talk to you and I can tell that you are so into it and you want 00:04:27.849 --> 00:04:32.363 to get better at it, whatever it is truly, like I don't think there's a 00:04:32.363 --> 00:04:34.969 topic that would make me uninterested. 00:04:34.999 --> 00:04:39.739 If you are giving it to me with as much passion and excitement 00:04:39.829 --> 00:04:41.869 as possible, that will just. 00:04:43.219 --> 00:04:44.179 Also being nice. 00:04:44.246 --> 00:04:46.880 Being, not a Dick. 00:04:48.170 --> 00:04:49.940 I'm not an asshole, really. 00:04:49.970 --> 00:04:53.510 That really goes a long way with me because I just don't feel 00:04:53.630 --> 00:04:56.090 like that is always the norm. 00:04:56.390 --> 00:04:56.930 And that's me. 00:04:57.860 --> 00:05:00.860 Alison: Non-passionate assholes may not apply. 00:05:00.890 --> 00:05:02.420 Matt: I'm not going to respect you that much, man. 00:05:02.720 --> 00:05:03.470 No, I'm sorry. 00:05:03.470 --> 00:05:06.560 Alison: What if you're, what if you're passionate about being a Dick? 00:05:08.120 --> 00:05:09.200 Matt: No seriously, though. 00:05:09.260 --> 00:05:15.650 If you can sit down with me, and really talk to me about why 00:05:15.980 --> 00:05:17.330 you feel that's the way to live. 00:05:17.606 --> 00:05:19.916 I'm not going to agree with you necessarily, but, I 00:05:19.916 --> 00:05:21.056 probably will respect you. 00:05:21.236 --> 00:05:24.150 There's no surprise, I am a liberal. 00:05:25.470 --> 00:05:27.030 I am a latte liberal. 00:05:29.280 --> 00:05:30.540 I do like lattes though. 00:05:30.720 --> 00:05:36.288 Anyway, I, I am a liberal and so there are many, many, many things that I 00:05:36.288 --> 00:05:38.835 don't understand about conservatives. 00:05:38.858 --> 00:05:42.902 however, I have sat down with conservative people, Republicans, 00:05:42.902 --> 00:05:44.162 but whatever they were. 00:05:44.882 --> 00:05:49.202 And they have talked about why they believe what they believe. 00:05:49.342 --> 00:05:50.662 And I walk away with respect. 00:05:51.142 --> 00:05:55.542 Because if they respect me enough to talk to me and not attack me. 00:05:56.382 --> 00:05:58.362 And then they can talk about why, then I'm. 00:05:59.592 --> 00:06:01.902 We have some very dear friends that I think fall into that group. 00:06:02.292 --> 00:06:07.643 And, again, I don't necessarily agree with everything that they believe, but there. 00:06:08.153 --> 00:06:09.323 There's a mutual respect. 00:06:11.153 --> 00:06:11.333 Yep. 00:06:11.543 --> 00:06:12.023 Alison: I love it. 00:06:12.953 --> 00:06:13.253 All right. 00:06:13.253 --> 00:06:16.313 So I had a much lower number than yours, which is good. 00:06:16.313 --> 00:06:18.773 You have the table up and ready to ask me my question? 00:06:19.253 --> 00:06:20.273 What's 39. 00:06:20.573 --> 00:06:21.683 That's where I am right now. 00:06:21.983 --> 00:06:22.643 Meet me there. 00:06:23.813 --> 00:06:24.293 Matt: Yeah, this is cool. 00:06:24.293 --> 00:06:24.713 And this is cool. 00:06:25.223 --> 00:06:25.493 Alison: Okay. 00:06:25.493 --> 00:06:25.763 Cool. 00:06:26.093 --> 00:06:30.394 Matt: Investigators must be able to control their emotions. 00:06:31.474 --> 00:06:34.714 Have you had to control your emotions to achieve a goal? 00:06:35.104 --> 00:06:35.974 What happened? 00:06:36.574 --> 00:06:37.414 Alison: Oh, my God. 00:06:37.444 --> 00:06:38.824 Story of my life. 00:06:38.854 --> 00:06:43.864 I have spent all of it being told that I'm too dramatic, 00:06:43.864 --> 00:06:46.534 too emotional, too something. 00:06:46.654 --> 00:06:48.814 And it's really frustrating. 00:06:48.844 --> 00:06:49.564 I really hate it. 00:06:49.610 --> 00:06:53.467 And I think that we've talked a lot about the collective good that 00:06:53.467 --> 00:06:55.831 social media has been doing for us. 00:06:55.951 --> 00:07:00.099 And I think this is one of the things where there's this movement to as 00:07:00.099 --> 00:07:02.936 you are and don't, make yourself less. 00:07:03.686 --> 00:07:08.060 But sadly, Uh, it has often been my experience in the working world 00:07:08.120 --> 00:07:12.710 in like forced relationships, like familial relationships, inherited 00:07:12.710 --> 00:07:19.357 relationships, where I've had to dumb down or pull back on my fiery 00:07:19.357 --> 00:07:22.327 emotional side to get the job done. 00:07:22.687 --> 00:07:27.536 And I don't like it and therefore I don't do it anymore. 00:07:27.545 --> 00:07:29.315 If you don't like this. 00:07:30.155 --> 00:07:31.085 Go find less. 00:07:31.565 --> 00:07:32.225 It's okay. 00:07:32.284 --> 00:07:33.591 Matt: Go find less. 00:07:34.041 --> 00:07:38.361 Alison: Which is actually a really good segue into one of the things 00:07:38.361 --> 00:07:40.101 that I wanted to talk about today. 00:07:40.101 --> 00:07:42.951 And no, we did not plan that, but I'm here for it. 00:07:43.011 --> 00:07:43.461 Matt: I bet. 00:07:43.461 --> 00:07:44.181 I bet I know. 00:07:44.526 --> 00:07:48.756 Alison: So we've been talking about people that we want to come guest on our podcast. 00:07:48.996 --> 00:07:52.592 We've been talking about finding our groove out in the real world. 00:07:53.102 --> 00:07:57.577 And Elyse Myers is my internet crush if you will. 00:07:57.765 --> 00:08:04.065 Um, she is by trade a web and UX designer, so we have that in common with her. 00:08:04.455 --> 00:08:09.615 She is wildly talented as a vocal artist, which we also love. 00:08:10.245 --> 00:08:15.495 And she is a very major advocate for mental health awareness. 00:08:15.885 --> 00:08:17.445 And especially ADHD. 00:08:17.865 --> 00:08:22.215 And so one thing that I have noticed in watching a lot of Elyse's videos 00:08:22.245 --> 00:08:26.145 is she always has these funny little songs to accompany them. 00:08:27.015 --> 00:08:28.935 But she talks a lot about hyper fixations. 00:08:28.935 --> 00:08:30.495 This is my hyper fixation outfit. 00:08:30.705 --> 00:08:32.355 This hyper fixation meal. 00:08:33.485 --> 00:08:37.605 I never realized I did that. 00:08:38.295 --> 00:08:42.735 This was not a cognizant choice I've ever made until she gave it a name 00:08:43.245 --> 00:08:45.465 and started like talking about it. 00:08:46.035 --> 00:08:49.425 And then I realized everything I do is a hyper fixation. 00:08:50.505 --> 00:08:51.165 Matt: I'm sorry. 00:08:51.465 --> 00:08:55.485 I could have told you, I just, I didn't know how to begin. 00:08:56.625 --> 00:08:59.695 Alison: You should have written me a little song and put it on TikTok, Matt! 00:08:59.705 --> 00:08:59.955 Matt 00:09:00.025 --> 00:09:01.125 Matt: That's all it takes. 00:09:01.575 --> 00:09:02.745 That's what I've taken. 00:09:03.652 --> 00:09:06.143 Alison: So what are some of your hyper fixations, Matt? 00:09:06.143 --> 00:09:07.613 And we could talk about some of mine too. 00:09:07.773 --> 00:09:08.813 Matt: You're not Yeah. 00:09:08.813 --> 00:09:09.113 You're not 00:09:09.413 --> 00:09:09.953 Alison: I'll start. 00:09:10.014 --> 00:09:10.902 No, let's roll a D 20. 00:09:11.052 --> 00:09:12.552 Let's go about this the right way. 00:09:12.612 --> 00:09:12.912 Matt: Okay. 00:09:12.972 --> 00:09:13.602 Let's contest. 00:09:13.662 --> 00:09:13.902 Yep. 00:09:14.022 --> 00:09:15.782 Alison: I'm going to, I'm going to roll my big chonk. 00:09:15.782 --> 00:09:16.822 My new chonky chonk. 00:09:16.842 --> 00:09:17.952 It's going to make a great noise. 00:09:18.702 --> 00:09:19.002 Oh, yeah. 00:09:19.632 --> 00:09:20.202 Matt: Wow. 00:09:20.202 --> 00:09:21.442 Alison: Natural 1. 00:09:22.276 --> 00:09:22.696 Matt: Oh, wow. 00:09:22.756 --> 00:09:24.487 I got a five, not much better. 00:09:24.487 --> 00:09:25.705 Alison: Still beats a one. 00:09:26.059 --> 00:09:26.359 Matt: Okay. 00:09:26.618 --> 00:09:27.638 Okay then yes. 00:09:27.668 --> 00:09:28.568 Hyper fixations. 00:09:29.078 --> 00:09:29.798 Oh yeah. 00:09:30.068 --> 00:09:33.188 Yeah for sure, you get hyper-fixated. 00:09:33.258 --> 00:09:33.818 I do too. 00:09:33.918 --> 00:09:34.398 I do too. 00:09:34.668 --> 00:09:39.677 I can give you an extreme example, that happened just this week, in fact. 00:09:39.727 --> 00:09:43.137 I mean, I know I'm not alone, but still it's so weird, this stuff. 00:09:43.527 --> 00:09:47.097 The stuff that we're like, so gung-ho about admitting. 00:09:47.097 --> 00:09:48.416 It's just oh no. 00:09:49.406 --> 00:09:49.916 And it's cool. 00:09:49.916 --> 00:09:50.156 It's good. 00:09:50.156 --> 00:09:52.363 It's not that bad, but it's just like, wow. 00:09:52.363 --> 00:09:55.003 When I realize how much time I spent on this the other day. 00:09:55.513 --> 00:09:56.983 I even told you about it when it happened. 00:09:57.549 --> 00:10:01.119 Because, I sat down for four hours. 00:10:01.509 --> 00:10:05.919 And I reconfigured for the billionth time. 00:10:06.372 --> 00:10:08.142 My entire folder system. 00:10:09.072 --> 00:10:11.911 I started with my notes, my notes folder system. 00:10:12.421 --> 00:10:13.231 And I went. 00:10:14.641 --> 00:10:15.241 Here's the thing. 00:10:15.751 --> 00:10:17.821 I was inspired, which is a cool thing. 00:10:17.851 --> 00:10:20.800 I was inspired by, this guy on the internet. 00:10:20.850 --> 00:10:23.670 I'm going to have to find his name, but I was inspired by 00:10:23.670 --> 00:10:25.140 this article that I had read. 00:10:25.330 --> 00:10:30.883 He had like a catchy phrase for how he could remember the folders. 00:10:30.883 --> 00:10:34.643 I was like, nah, that's not going to work for me. 00:10:35.173 --> 00:10:40.332 So I spent an eternity kind of applying that system. 00:10:40.542 --> 00:10:45.660 But I had to rename everything and I had to rename everything to be 00:10:45.660 --> 00:10:49.110 something that I would be passionate about, and interested in, which 00:10:49.110 --> 00:10:51.787 was, um, role playing game terms. 00:10:52.837 --> 00:10:53.347 Alison: There it is. 00:10:55.297 --> 00:10:56.137 Matt: Oh my God. 00:10:56.407 --> 00:10:57.247 Oh my God. 00:10:57.607 --> 00:11:00.547 It's just so intense. 00:11:00.699 --> 00:11:06.437 If anybody's curious, like one folder is just for, links to other folders 00:11:06.437 --> 00:11:08.087 and other pages and other things. 00:11:08.087 --> 00:11:09.527 Sort of like an index, right. 00:11:09.671 --> 00:11:11.831 And I called that my maps folder. 00:11:11.861 --> 00:11:12.071 Right. 00:11:12.076 --> 00:11:12.556 It's a map. 00:11:13.186 --> 00:11:18.050 And then the next one is inventory and that's all the files on the fonts 00:11:18.050 --> 00:11:24.500 that make the notes work, all the like integral pieces of an operating system 00:11:24.800 --> 00:11:26.570 and templates and stuff like that. 00:11:26.870 --> 00:11:33.260 Then there's what I call sessions, which is a daily journal and its meetings. 00:11:33.321 --> 00:11:41.027 And then there's actions, which is like me digesting some material that 00:11:41.027 --> 00:11:44.298 I find on the internet or somewhere, and then making notes about that. 00:11:44.301 --> 00:11:48.246 And also like my sort of super vague CRM, and then I've got, 00:11:48.666 --> 00:11:52.446 anyway, it goes on and on, it goes on and on, but it's, I love it now. 00:11:52.636 --> 00:11:53.146 Alison: So. 00:11:53.266 --> 00:11:55.156 Matt: Also know that this will not be the last one. 00:11:55.396 --> 00:11:58.887 So if anybody's listening to this and man, I have ADHD, and one thing 00:11:58.917 --> 00:12:03.867 I beat myself up about is always trying to find a productivity or 00:12:03.867 --> 00:12:05.307 a methodology that works for me. 00:12:05.397 --> 00:12:07.062 Don't just, let me just tell you. 00:12:07.092 --> 00:12:08.262 You're never going to stop. 00:12:08.982 --> 00:12:09.642 Give up. 00:12:10.062 --> 00:12:10.692 Go with it. 00:12:10.782 --> 00:12:14.796 Just try your very best to not do it too much. 00:12:14.814 --> 00:12:16.524 Don't, I'm speaking from experience. 00:12:16.581 --> 00:12:17.901 don't flip flop. 00:12:18.621 --> 00:12:19.101 Tasks. 00:12:19.161 --> 00:12:21.651 Don't always jump on the new shiny. 00:12:21.914 --> 00:12:24.686 Uh, or at least get a time timer and just check it out for a minute. 00:12:24.686 --> 00:12:26.377 But you're not going to stop. 00:12:27.187 --> 00:12:27.607 Sorry. 00:12:27.637 --> 00:12:31.687 Alison: Have a hypothesis knowing the similarities and the difference 00:12:31.687 --> 00:12:36.067 between us and what I know to be true about you and your hyper 00:12:36.067 --> 00:12:39.637 fixations is that they're very big. 00:12:39.697 --> 00:12:40.867 They're very macro. 00:12:41.407 --> 00:12:41.797 Matt: Yes. 00:12:42.607 --> 00:12:46.987 Alison: I don't see you having as many hyper fixations in 00:12:46.987 --> 00:12:49.567 the small and the day-to-day. 00:12:50.287 --> 00:12:51.367 And I am that way. 00:12:51.427 --> 00:12:56.097 I have the hyper fixation meal because I don't want to think about cooking. 00:12:56.097 --> 00:12:59.457 So I just know that every day I'm going to roast some potatoes 00:12:59.457 --> 00:13:00.417 and some Brussels sprouts. 00:13:00.447 --> 00:13:02.697 And if I'm feeling crazy, I might put a fried egg on it. 00:13:03.307 --> 00:13:04.087 And you don't do that. 00:13:04.087 --> 00:13:06.447 I feel like you, you, have your like Friday's pizza night and 00:13:06.447 --> 00:13:08.967 stuff like that, but I wouldn't call that a hyper fixation meal. 00:13:09.627 --> 00:13:10.857 I have hyper fixation. 00:13:10.857 --> 00:13:10.917 My. 00:13:10.917 --> 00:13:13.774 My outfits like this is The only thing I'm going to wear. 00:13:14.374 --> 00:13:16.114 During this season, that's it. 00:13:16.264 --> 00:13:18.244 You're just going to see me in it over and over again. 00:13:18.274 --> 00:13:18.644 Matt: Right. 00:13:18.678 --> 00:13:21.854 Alison: And so here, you know, back to Elyse Myers, like hearing her sing 00:13:21.854 --> 00:13:24.361 about this is my hyper-fixation meal. 00:13:24.601 --> 00:13:27.410 I'm going to eat it over and over again till I get sick of it. 00:13:27.410 --> 00:13:30.718 I was like, oh, oh, oh no, I do that. 00:13:30.718 --> 00:13:31.528 I do that a lot. 00:13:31.708 --> 00:13:33.913 Everything I do, but I don't think my hyper fixations are 00:13:33.913 --> 00:13:39.583 big projects like yours, but it, they do like they breed anxiety. 00:13:39.583 --> 00:13:42.583 And the way that, like, when I get onto the hyper fixation train, it's 00:13:42.583 --> 00:13:46.273 like, if I don't do this thing, the world will come crashing down. 00:13:46.933 --> 00:13:48.957 Even today I had plenty of work to do. 00:13:48.957 --> 00:13:51.087 Plenty of actual work to do. 00:13:51.837 --> 00:13:57.837 And all I want to do is sit here and do like ADHd20 marketing and D 100 00:13:57.837 --> 00:14:00.297 tables and the world's going to go on. 00:14:00.327 --> 00:14:01.647 I'll get to those things. 00:14:01.677 --> 00:14:02.487 It's fine. 00:14:02.487 --> 00:14:06.490 But for a brief period of time today, nothing else existed. 00:14:06.490 --> 00:14:07.150 And I'm sure. 00:14:07.150 --> 00:14:10.751 you experienced that with me a lot where it's Alison, just leave it. 00:14:10.751 --> 00:14:12.073 It'll still be there tomorrow. 00:14:12.463 --> 00:14:13.303 It's fine. 00:14:13.423 --> 00:14:17.418 Matt: Yeah, but that stuff can be really difficult for us to let go of. 00:14:17.478 --> 00:14:21.762 And I am always trying to balance that, because that kind of 00:14:21.762 --> 00:14:23.292 thing does not give me comfort. 00:14:23.342 --> 00:14:24.422 As much as it does, you. 00:14:24.478 --> 00:14:25.851 so I've already said before that. 00:14:25.904 --> 00:14:31.344 I am envious of your hyper fixations to a point, and you're not envious of mine. 00:14:32.144 --> 00:14:32.894 Which is fine. 00:14:33.134 --> 00:14:36.594 My feelings are not hurt, but, but one thing that, that I, I can get 00:14:36.594 --> 00:14:41.847 into the habit of beating myself up about is not on unlocking and stuff. 00:14:41.895 --> 00:14:44.355 We should do one of these about productivity, because I 00:14:44.475 --> 00:14:45.375 think about it all the time. 00:14:45.795 --> 00:14:46.125 Um, 00:14:46.568 --> 00:14:47.408 But I'm with you. 00:14:47.948 --> 00:14:48.998 Getting locked in. 00:14:49.508 --> 00:14:51.098 Getting locked in is. 00:14:51.698 --> 00:14:54.008 Alison: And nothing else exists or matters. 00:14:54.111 --> 00:14:57.129 And that really is grounds for most of my anxiety. 00:14:57.189 --> 00:14:59.619 And if I could just figure, if I could just figure that. 00:14:59.977 --> 00:15:01.523 Let me focus on fixing 00:15:03.823 --> 00:15:05.923 Very counterintuitive to everything that you just said. 00:15:05.983 --> 00:15:07.033 Matt: But no, that's it. 00:15:07.033 --> 00:15:08.917 That's what I'm trying to do with these things. 00:15:08.917 --> 00:15:13.625 And I, do have a coach and she tries to keep me from jumping 00:15:13.625 --> 00:15:15.335 down those productivity. 00:15:15.764 --> 00:15:16.124 Alison: I will. 00:15:16.754 --> 00:15:22.544 I will say though, that one thing I am envious of you for is I feel like even 00:15:22.544 --> 00:15:27.194 though a lot of what you do is never a done state just by nature of the thing. 00:15:27.704 --> 00:15:29.684 I feel like you finish more than I do. 00:15:29.834 --> 00:15:34.047 You hyper fixated and got your folders in order. 00:15:34.047 --> 00:15:38.997 Had that been me, I would have sat around, started 18 times, 00:15:39.387 --> 00:15:41.637 gotten frustrated and walked away. 00:15:41.706 --> 00:15:45.246 your hyper fixation glues your butt to the chair. 00:15:45.456 --> 00:15:47.766 I am not leaving and you're going to change it tomorrow, 00:15:48.066 --> 00:15:49.600 but you did finish it today. 00:15:49.660 --> 00:15:50.170 Matt: I did. 00:15:50.230 --> 00:15:50.770 You're right. 00:15:51.250 --> 00:15:51.670 You're right. 00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:56.030 I cannot tell you how many times I've come home, and , Lindsay 00:15:56.030 --> 00:15:57.028 is like, how has your work? 00:15:57.028 --> 00:16:00.148 I was like, I just, haven't beaten this thing. 00:16:00.958 --> 00:16:02.818 There's something that I haven't beaten. 00:16:03.568 --> 00:16:04.588 It's so violent. 00:16:04.621 --> 00:16:07.501 yeah, I just got stuck and I just could not beat it. 00:16:07.711 --> 00:16:08.791 Alison: I couldn't beat it. 00:16:08.881 --> 00:16:09.361 Yeah. 00:16:10.001 --> 00:16:15.071 So Matt has done the lion's share of the editing of these episodes. 00:16:15.671 --> 00:16:17.231 And even in doing those, I've noticed. 00:16:17.711 --> 00:16:21.101 I like editing now because Matt has shown me how and Descript is 00:16:21.101 --> 00:16:23.851 the best shameless plug I don't want to finish any of them though. 00:16:23.881 --> 00:16:27.459 I'm like, I'll get them to 90% and then I'll pass them to my friend, Matt. 00:16:27.539 --> 00:16:28.719 He can finish it. 00:16:28.809 --> 00:16:31.332 Matt: Yeah, but here's something that I've been thinking about a lot. 00:16:31.892 --> 00:16:33.392 With ADHD. 00:16:33.398 --> 00:16:38.717 with finishing things, all this stuff, I feel like this concept of giving yourself 00:16:38.717 --> 00:16:41.927 points and getting to a level like points 00:16:41.927 --> 00:16:42.917 Alison: that you didn't know exist. 00:16:43.937 --> 00:16:47.676 Oh, cause I know we've talked about this on the podcast 00:16:47.706 --> 00:16:50.226 before we, we didn't say XP. 00:16:50.796 --> 00:16:51.516 Oh, my God. 00:16:51.606 --> 00:16:52.176 That's it. 00:16:52.416 --> 00:16:52.956 That's it. 00:16:53.226 --> 00:16:54.366 That's how I'm going to track it. 00:16:55.146 --> 00:16:58.866 Actually I've been trying to come up with a system to track these points 00:16:59.106 --> 00:17:00.606 my coach has been talking about. 00:17:01.656 --> 00:17:03.266 I just have to track XP. 00:17:03.636 --> 00:17:04.906 And then I can level up. 00:17:04.906 --> 00:17:07.048 Matt: Damn, that's going to be a rabbit hole. 00:17:07.228 --> 00:17:07.678 That's going to be. 00:17:08.128 --> 00:17:08.908 That's fun though. 00:17:09.028 --> 00:17:09.628 That's really fun. 00:17:09.628 --> 00:17:09.928 Okay. 00:17:10.498 --> 00:17:10.888 All right. 00:17:10.918 --> 00:17:11.278 Yes. 00:17:11.488 --> 00:17:15.868 Giving yourself XP for doing things that neurotypical brains 00:17:15.928 --> 00:17:18.688 have zip zero problem with. 00:17:18.995 --> 00:17:19.565 Starting. 00:17:19.595 --> 00:17:20.435 Sitting down. 00:17:20.715 --> 00:17:24.195 Opening up your pen, opening up, getting to the email. 00:17:24.224 --> 00:17:26.587 Without being distracted by something else, so you give 00:17:26.587 --> 00:17:28.567 yourself experience points. 00:17:28.649 --> 00:17:30.834 Um, along the way, oh my God. 00:17:30.864 --> 00:17:32.544 Are we going to build a methodology? 00:17:36.114 --> 00:17:36.894 Oh, no. 00:17:37.104 --> 00:17:38.184 I hope so. 00:17:38.604 --> 00:17:39.534 Alison: I hope so. 00:17:40.254 --> 00:17:41.617 Matt: Anyway, you know, you give yourself points. 00:17:41.617 --> 00:17:44.773 So what I'm thinking is like, I bet that there is a system somewhere 00:17:44.773 --> 00:17:48.680 in there where you get XP for the stuff that you're good at? 00:17:48.723 --> 00:17:52.410 Just like a fighter is going to be up front in a party Uh, 00:17:52.410 --> 00:17:53.820 walking through a dungeon. 00:17:54.150 --> 00:17:56.847 The magic user will be in the back or the ranger. 00:17:56.907 --> 00:17:59.000 Somebody with, ranged weapons will be in the back. 00:17:59.210 --> 00:18:03.740 And it's not like you expect one person to do all of those things. 00:18:04.550 --> 00:18:07.820 I love the last bits of editing to pulling all together. 00:18:07.820 --> 00:18:10.340 So maybe your job is just going to be, Hey. 00:18:10.820 --> 00:18:12.560 Just clean everything up. 00:18:12.590 --> 00:18:15.097 Just make all the words make sense. 00:18:15.137 --> 00:18:19.298 In the transcript, and then that's so much work from me that I don't like. 00:18:19.748 --> 00:18:22.778 If you could just get to that point, which is probably really comforting. 00:18:22.781 --> 00:18:26.078 And then I can do all the reconfiguring or the adding of sound. 00:18:26.678 --> 00:18:27.818 Noises. 00:18:28.598 --> 00:18:29.168 Alison: I love it. 00:18:29.588 --> 00:18:30.938 That's all I've ever wanted. 00:18:31.538 --> 00:18:33.728 For you to say, I will finish it. 00:18:33.728 --> 00:18:34.598 If you will start it. 00:18:35.135 --> 00:18:37.788 Matt: See, that's what we have to do, I know we're laughing, but that 00:18:37.788 --> 00:18:42.588 is really, truly, I think, what humans with our brains have to do. 00:18:42.828 --> 00:18:47.808 And I think the sooner that we are not ashamed of that, and for me, the 00:18:47.808 --> 00:18:53.138 sooner that I can let something go and accept that and say, if this person 00:18:53.138 --> 00:18:55.228 doesn't mind doing it, let them do it. 00:18:55.888 --> 00:18:59.878 And then handoff and then you'll move so much faster in life. 00:19:01.558 --> 00:19:02.538 Good job, Alison. 00:19:02.988 --> 00:19:05.848 Alison: Solving all of the world's problems, Mattie, or at least our own. 00:19:05.933 --> 00:19:06.293 Oh, my God. 00:19:06.323 --> 00:19:07.133 We're going to have. 00:19:07.133 --> 00:19:09.773 an RPG methodology. 00:19:10.673 --> 00:19:16.040 This is, the one time in the world that I wish that this podcast 00:19:16.040 --> 00:19:19.250 was video too, so that you guys could have all seen Matt's face. 00:19:19.610 --> 00:19:20.990 Matt: Oh, my God, I must've been like. 00:19:21.560 --> 00:19:22.310 Alison: Adorable. 00:19:22.817 --> 00:19:24.727 Hyper fixating on that. 00:19:25.157 --> 00:19:29.002 I have no idea what I opened up that can of worms that it would 00:19:29.002 --> 00:19:32.532 lead us through that, and, by gosh, by golly, I am thrilled. 00:19:32.846 --> 00:19:33.146 Thank you. 00:19:33.146 --> 00:19:34.016 Elyse Myers. 00:19:34.016 --> 00:19:34.976 Matt: Thanks Elyse Meyers. 00:19:35.040 --> 00:19:37.475 I went to Tik TOK just for you, Elyse. 00:19:37.527 --> 00:19:38.891 Alison: That is that something. 00:19:39.411 --> 00:19:45.270 Alright, well, we got our first fan mail today, we'll call it fan mail. 00:19:45.360 --> 00:19:49.602 It's a question from our good buddy Meg Anderson-King who listened to, 00:19:49.639 --> 00:19:51.319 first two episodes that we put out. 00:19:52.249 --> 00:19:57.412 And wrote my teen got diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type in May, 2021. 00:19:57.802 --> 00:19:59.722 We're still working on the coping strategies and have 00:19:59.752 --> 00:20:01.192 yet to figure out meds. 00:20:01.462 --> 00:20:05.002 What is something you wish your parents had done to support you as a kid? 00:20:05.602 --> 00:20:08.872 We've gotten the kid diagnosed, in therapy, and have a 5 0 4 plan. 00:20:08.902 --> 00:20:11.992 Medication has been a challenge, inattentive type doesn't react the same 00:20:11.992 --> 00:20:14.302 way as impulsive type does to meds. 00:20:14.572 --> 00:20:16.192 I want to be the best mom I can be. 00:20:16.372 --> 00:20:19.402 So any and all ADHD life hacks are welcome. 00:20:19.402 --> 00:20:20.362 I hope y'all are well. 00:20:20.362 --> 00:20:21.292 And that life is good. 00:20:21.352 --> 00:20:21.892 Cheers. 00:20:21.952 --> 00:20:23.072 Meg Anderson-King. 00:20:23.122 --> 00:20:23.797 We love you, Meg 00:20:23.797 --> 00:20:25.557 Matt: I really do, I really do, Meg. 00:20:26.407 --> 00:20:26.857 Really do. 00:20:26.925 --> 00:20:27.225 Wow. 00:20:27.255 --> 00:20:27.945 That's great. 00:20:28.047 --> 00:20:28.557 Alison: Right. 00:20:29.727 --> 00:20:32.264 I mean, the fact that you're even asking is. 00:20:32.564 --> 00:20:35.594 80,000 steps and in the right direction. 00:20:35.594 --> 00:20:35.654 it. 00:20:35.840 --> 00:20:41.447 leaps and bounds from where many of us came from as children of 00:20:41.447 --> 00:20:43.517 the seventies, eighties, nineties. 00:20:43.560 --> 00:20:44.340 Matt: Amen. 00:20:44.970 --> 00:20:45.480 Amen. 00:20:45.960 --> 00:20:47.437 That is the, yes. 00:20:48.277 --> 00:20:50.324 Alison: And I don't say that to point fingers. 00:20:50.354 --> 00:20:53.684 I think all of our parents were doing the very best they could with the 00:20:53.684 --> 00:20:55.274 information that they had at the time. 00:20:55.304 --> 00:20:55.664 But. 00:20:56.177 --> 00:20:57.900 I'm glad that you asked that question. 00:20:57.925 --> 00:21:00.565 that's what the 39 question was the beginning of this episode. 00:21:01.345 --> 00:21:06.085 Because I was just basically told as a child, by everybody, every adult 00:21:06.085 --> 00:21:07.345 in my life, just deal with that. 00:21:07.975 --> 00:21:08.725 And nothing's wrong with you. 00:21:08.755 --> 00:21:09.265 Just deal with it. 00:21:09.362 --> 00:21:13.322 When every sign in the book was like, I was plenty bright. 00:21:13.322 --> 00:21:14.402 I was plenty smart. 00:21:14.972 --> 00:21:16.422 I just lacked focus. 00:21:16.457 --> 00:21:18.177 So, you know, just have more discipline. 00:21:18.177 --> 00:21:19.687 Alison is what they all said. 00:21:19.710 --> 00:21:21.630 without any reasonable accommodations. 00:21:21.693 --> 00:21:26.081 So I think that's, the main thing is asking, is reaching out, which is clearly 00:21:26.081 --> 00:21:30.071 what you're already doing both to licensed professionals, which Matt and I are not. 00:21:30.101 --> 00:21:30.971 Matt: Definitely not. 00:21:31.031 --> 00:21:32.891 Please let us be clear about that. 00:21:32.970 --> 00:21:33.870 Alison: but the whole, 00:21:33.892 --> 00:21:37.282 Like sharing with others and being willing to just try. 00:21:37.349 --> 00:21:41.435 and that's, I think we talked about this and one of our earlier episodes where. 00:21:41.463 --> 00:21:45.273 I had a below C average in high school and was really miserable. 00:21:45.903 --> 00:21:48.573 I hated everything about it and then thrived in college because 00:21:48.573 --> 00:21:51.843 suddenly it was the type of class that worked with my brain. 00:21:51.843 --> 00:21:55.383 So you're going to have to be willing to get a little bit scrappy. 00:21:55.983 --> 00:21:57.933 And to try things. 00:21:57.933 --> 00:21:59.823 And when they don't work, try other things. 00:21:59.848 --> 00:22:01.957 and to find, to fight for your kid. 00:22:01.982 --> 00:22:05.042 I think that's what I had wanted that I didn't get as it was feeling 00:22:05.042 --> 00:22:09.092 like somebody was in my corner instead of that, I was a failure. 00:22:09.137 --> 00:22:11.567 So having that adult advocate. 00:22:12.257 --> 00:22:14.567 These days, I have to imagine. 00:22:14.930 --> 00:22:16.100 That must feel pretty magical and your kid is pretty lucky to have you. 00:22:17.460 --> 00:22:18.770 Matt: Super lucky. 00:22:18.837 --> 00:22:23.307 Super lucky Meg because, you don't have to know anything. 00:22:23.337 --> 00:22:25.377 You don't have to, you can stumble through this. 00:22:25.407 --> 00:22:27.117 you're a parent, so you obviously know that. 00:22:27.547 --> 00:22:31.897 There's no manuals there's no, and unfortunately there's not really even 00:22:32.077 --> 00:22:34.867 amazing manuals for something like ADHD. 00:22:34.867 --> 00:22:36.597 they don't really know enough. 00:22:36.897 --> 00:22:38.007 It's changing all the time. 00:22:38.007 --> 00:22:42.446 I feel like recently, like five, 10 years, they have had a lot 00:22:42.446 --> 00:22:45.142 of cool groundbreaking thoughts. 00:22:45.682 --> 00:22:49.967 About ADHD and how it might relate to autism, anyway, but I. 00:22:50.837 --> 00:22:53.597 I think that we're all stumbling through a little bit. 00:22:53.907 --> 00:22:58.118 I'm with Alison, just keep learning, keep talking, if Tik TOK is your thing 00:22:58.148 --> 00:23:01.688 or YouTube or something, just watch as many people as you can because. 00:23:02.318 --> 00:23:05.774 The people that are stepping up and talking about this in an honest way, and 00:23:05.774 --> 00:23:07.181 It's it is really important. 00:23:07.231 --> 00:23:10.749 The thing about your kid is that they probably think they're the only ones. 00:23:11.728 --> 00:23:12.328 And. 00:23:12.561 --> 00:23:12.921 They're not. 00:23:13.257 --> 00:23:16.854 And especially if mom's like, Hey, I don't necessarily know what you're 00:23:16.854 --> 00:23:18.384 going through, but what can I do? 00:23:18.414 --> 00:23:19.564 How can I make this easier? 00:23:19.591 --> 00:23:23.041 and honestly, be willing to do try anything. 00:23:23.144 --> 00:23:26.631 Like, um, one example is I trip. 00:23:26.666 --> 00:23:29.521 and knock my ankles, knees. 00:23:29.551 --> 00:23:32.251 I cut myself all the time on things. 00:23:32.461 --> 00:23:33.151 All the time. 00:23:33.283 --> 00:23:35.743 And I don't know, I don't remember it, but I'm always just tripping 00:23:35.743 --> 00:23:38.713 on things and bruising my legs. 00:23:38.763 --> 00:23:40.953 And Lindsay will say, where did you get that? 00:23:42.513 --> 00:23:44.223 Bruise, cut, gash, whatever. 00:23:44.253 --> 00:23:45.333 And I'm like, I have no idea. 00:23:45.783 --> 00:23:47.713 But then she started noticing. 00:23:48.073 --> 00:23:48.583 Oh, my gosh. 00:23:48.663 --> 00:23:50.793 My brain is already where I need to be. 00:23:50.793 --> 00:23:54.453 So I'm not it's that whole, I can't see the middle thing. 00:23:54.813 --> 00:23:58.416 So I, if there's anything in my way, I'm going to hit it. 00:23:58.906 --> 00:24:00.046 I'm not actually clumsy. 00:24:00.096 --> 00:24:03.846 If things, aren't the way that they should be, then my focus is going to be.... 00:24:04.576 --> 00:24:06.046 Elsewhere, and I'm going to slam into something. 00:24:06.046 --> 00:24:09.806 So she's just okay, I'm going to go extreme and I'm going to try to. 00:24:10.556 --> 00:24:13.886 Not leave my shoes in the middle of the floor, even though I really want 00:24:13.886 --> 00:24:15.656 to, because I'm adult and I can. 00:24:16.326 --> 00:24:20.216 Because Matt will trip on them, guaranteed. 00:24:20.316 --> 00:24:22.866 She acquiesces sometimes because. 00:24:23.616 --> 00:24:25.692 She knows that's part of my disability. 00:24:25.700 --> 00:24:27.245 so it can be super weird. 00:24:27.435 --> 00:24:31.597 Alison: I know that a spouse relationship is very different than 00:24:31.597 --> 00:24:35.807 a parent child, but pay attention to everything that Matt just said, Lindsay 00:24:35.827 --> 00:24:37.537 is willing to be his partner in this. 00:24:37.597 --> 00:24:41.677 She is willing to roll up her sleeves, get on his level. 00:24:42.247 --> 00:24:44.497 And walk through it with him. 00:24:44.497 --> 00:24:47.197 I've actually had this conversation with my own mother. 00:24:47.227 --> 00:24:51.277 as someone who went through all of elementary, junior, and high school and 00:24:51.277 --> 00:24:55.879 college and into adulthood, I was in my mid thirties before I was diagnosed. 00:24:55.879 --> 00:24:58.189 And to Matt's point, you just, you feel alone the whole time. 00:24:58.189 --> 00:25:02.182 And if somebody had just been willing, one thing I've noticed is, I think 00:25:02.182 --> 00:25:04.585 I was giving all the cues, but nobody was paying attention to them. 00:25:04.585 --> 00:25:06.546 and I again say that not to point fingers, but 00:25:06.606 --> 00:25:10.056 Pay attention to is your child an audible learner or a visual learner. 00:25:10.356 --> 00:25:13.656 And if your child is a visual learner, don't tell them to do something, 00:25:13.836 --> 00:25:15.246 show them how to do something. 00:25:15.276 --> 00:25:16.566 Walk with them through that. 00:25:16.566 --> 00:25:19.236 I've had that problem, even in adulthood. 00:25:19.626 --> 00:25:24.396 In work where I have bosses who just want to shriek orders at me 00:25:24.396 --> 00:25:28.656 and tell me something and I'm over here pleading, can you show me an 00:25:28.656 --> 00:25:30.066 example of what you're looking for? 00:25:30.216 --> 00:25:32.826 Cause we're not on the same page right now and I just need to see it. 00:25:32.884 --> 00:25:35.986 and that's when we're saying like, try different things, but ask your kid 00:25:35.986 --> 00:25:40.216 if it's okay to sit with them while they do their homework explaining 00:25:40.216 --> 00:25:43.616 not because you're, watching them and checking them, but like to see where 00:25:43.616 --> 00:25:46.646 they stumble and see where they need some help and see where they need to be 00:25:46.646 --> 00:25:48.716 shown a different way of doing something. 00:25:49.076 --> 00:25:51.486 I was talking with my mom, she was complaining that my dad, who 00:25:51.486 --> 00:25:55.746 very clearly has ADHD, just like me, that has never been diagnosed 00:25:55.746 --> 00:25:57.156 and never will be diagnosed. 00:25:57.250 --> 00:25:59.380 She was complaining that he hadn't hung up a fan. 00:25:59.404 --> 00:26:01.504 It had been sitting in the box for a year. 00:26:02.274 --> 00:26:03.414 We don't know how to do something. 00:26:03.414 --> 00:26:05.304 So what, sometimes we it's just easier not to start. 00:26:05.754 --> 00:26:09.234 Why don't you like, take the fan out of the box with him and 00:26:09.234 --> 00:26:10.524 put together a project plan? 00:26:10.554 --> 00:26:12.324 Today, we're going to read the instructions. 00:26:12.534 --> 00:26:14.634 Tomorrow we're going to make sure that we have all the supplies and they 00:26:14.634 --> 00:26:16.104 didn't leave out any of the screws. 00:26:16.434 --> 00:26:19.296 The next day, we're going to pull the wires down, And write those things 00:26:19.296 --> 00:26:21.456 down because there's some comfort. 00:26:21.456 --> 00:26:22.506 It's what I've talked about. 00:26:22.506 --> 00:26:26.436 I think on every episode of this is like finding that, that comfort zone, 00:26:26.436 --> 00:26:28.465 that safety blanket I know what's next. 00:26:28.465 --> 00:26:29.275 I know what's up. 00:26:30.145 --> 00:26:33.205 So help them navigate through that middle part where they're stumbling. 00:26:33.535 --> 00:26:37.075 Either figuratively or literally in causing bruises. 00:26:37.605 --> 00:26:38.085 By. 00:26:38.135 --> 00:26:40.234 Like, okay, homework is going to get done today. 00:26:40.234 --> 00:26:42.304 We're going to take the papers out of your backpack. 00:26:42.544 --> 00:26:43.774 We're going to see what we have to do. 00:26:43.774 --> 00:26:45.064 We're going to come up with an action plan. 00:26:45.064 --> 00:26:46.384 We're going to do the hard homework first. 00:26:46.534 --> 00:26:48.064 You hate math, let's attack that. 00:26:48.064 --> 00:26:50.986 Then we're, we're going to give you 27 XP for doing it, whatever, 00:26:51.036 --> 00:26:54.439 Matt: Or, or if energy levels are such that. 00:26:54.510 --> 00:26:56.483 they're like, they need to sort of. 00:26:56.612 --> 00:26:57.212 Alison: Ramp up. 00:26:57.542 --> 00:26:57.782 Matt: up. 00:26:57.861 --> 00:26:59.114 Can I, can I share real quick? 00:26:59.237 --> 00:27:02.578 A, a true like saintly person. 00:27:02.669 --> 00:27:05.261 I have a really difficult time packing. 00:27:06.461 --> 00:27:07.871 Period for anything. 00:27:07.918 --> 00:27:11.366 And, especially for a trip, I've got like travel anxiety and. 00:27:11.366 --> 00:27:16.094 My wife, having a disability herself understands that I, you can't get 00:27:16.094 --> 00:27:17.894 mad for Lindsay for not hearing you. 00:27:18.284 --> 00:27:19.214 You just can't do that. 00:27:19.364 --> 00:27:20.624 It's not a personal thing. 00:27:20.664 --> 00:27:24.294 She's not, not answering you to be a jerk, right? 00:27:24.294 --> 00:27:28.541 so she, she has a lot more patience than a lot of people, but she also 00:27:28.541 --> 00:27:29.921 has the ability to apply that to me. 00:27:30.191 --> 00:27:30.641 And. 00:27:31.151 --> 00:27:32.681 What I have to do when I pack say. 00:27:33.731 --> 00:27:34.511 I have to go. 00:27:35.021 --> 00:27:39.791 And I have to learn like the military roll system for your t-shirts. 00:27:40.031 --> 00:27:41.951 I have to learn something new. 00:27:42.251 --> 00:27:45.821 That is fun to even get to the process of doing it. 00:27:46.241 --> 00:27:49.211 And I think when she first experienced this, she was like, is that 00:27:49.211 --> 00:27:50.171 really what you should be doing? 00:27:50.201 --> 00:27:51.701 And then she realized, oh, okay. 00:27:51.821 --> 00:27:57.311 So that's what he has to ramp up into to even get the stuff done. 00:27:57.731 --> 00:27:58.571 And so she was like, yeah. 00:27:58.601 --> 00:27:58.931 Okay. 00:27:59.051 --> 00:27:59.411 Okay. 00:27:59.501 --> 00:27:59.801 Okay. 00:27:59.831 --> 00:28:00.701 It's going to take longer. 00:28:01.181 --> 00:28:01.995 Than her, but. 00:28:02.775 --> 00:28:03.375 I'm not her. 00:28:03.442 --> 00:28:05.182 And that's, you're already there. 00:28:05.182 --> 00:28:07.549 Meg, you're already there because you get that. 00:28:07.598 --> 00:28:07.968 Yeah. 00:28:07.968 --> 00:28:12.370 this, This question from Meg was interesting because it kind of leads into 00:28:13.305 --> 00:28:16.225 this thing that I wrote just today. 00:28:16.312 --> 00:28:18.532 So I try to journal a little bit every day. 00:28:18.596 --> 00:28:19.729 What it does for me. 00:28:20.209 --> 00:28:22.849 And we haven't talked a lot about D&D on this episode. 00:28:22.849 --> 00:28:23.239 That's okay. 00:28:23.239 --> 00:28:25.039 We talked about it a lot last week, but. 00:28:25.105 --> 00:28:29.474 it writing a little bit a day, like 500 words will jumpstart 00:28:29.894 --> 00:28:31.274 writing about anything else. 00:28:31.764 --> 00:28:34.604 Ie, world-building or creative thought. 00:28:34.744 --> 00:28:37.960 So it's 500 words and, look at the number and then I stop 00:28:37.960 --> 00:28:39.070 as soon as they get to 500. 00:28:39.125 --> 00:28:41.615 So this new app that I've been trying, because it's a 00:28:41.615 --> 00:28:42.935 new app and I have to try it. 00:28:43.475 --> 00:28:44.005 Alison: Naturally. 00:28:44.005 --> 00:28:45.525 Matt: Is called Stoic. 00:28:45.825 --> 00:28:46.585 Period. 00:28:47.395 --> 00:28:50.965 And it is real pretty looking. 00:28:50.965 --> 00:28:52.825 I've already written the developers because there's some things that 00:28:52.825 --> 00:28:54.715 are not accessible about the UI. 00:28:55.765 --> 00:28:56.905 Like literally not accessible. 00:28:56.905 --> 00:28:58.405 You can't actually read some of the things. 00:28:58.765 --> 00:29:01.225 So I've already written to the developer saying you should make it 00:29:01.225 --> 00:29:05.455 more accessible, but it is really, well-made really, well-made, it's a 00:29:05.455 --> 00:29:08.810 journaling app and some meditation in there and some other, just things, but 00:29:08.810 --> 00:29:10.580 the coolest things are the prompts. 00:29:11.096 --> 00:29:15.266 And so the prompt for today was what would you say to your five-year-old self? 00:29:15.296 --> 00:29:18.679 So in this whole, I'm going to be more honest about everything. 00:29:18.859 --> 00:29:20.759 I'll read parts of what I wrote. 00:29:20.769 --> 00:29:24.459 I wrote don't stop trying to be different. 00:29:26.139 --> 00:29:28.959 I said, I know that you're already starting to be different. 00:29:29.859 --> 00:29:32.919 You're getting picked on for being different, but don't stop it. 00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:36.485 Because the thing that you end up doing now is going to 00:29:36.485 --> 00:29:37.565 be the thing that you crave. 00:29:37.595 --> 00:29:38.195 Being different. 00:29:38.495 --> 00:29:39.515 That's what you're going to crave. 00:29:39.581 --> 00:29:42.761 Understand that you actually do have a disability. 00:29:43.241 --> 00:29:45.236 And there isn't anything you can do about that. 00:29:45.373 --> 00:29:49.947 especially in 1977, because it was not something that people were talking 00:29:49.947 --> 00:29:55.002 about, ADD, so just again, that whole you're not alone thing I think is just 00:29:55.002 --> 00:29:59.034 going to make a whole generation of kids a whole lot safer and happier. 00:29:59.334 --> 00:30:02.544 And then I write: your brain does work differently. 00:30:02.604 --> 00:30:05.364 And when you're in situations where your brain has the encouragement 00:30:05.364 --> 00:30:07.104 and room to shine, it will. 00:30:07.524 --> 00:30:10.074 The rest of the time, just ask for help, right? 00:30:10.374 --> 00:30:10.944 Ask for help. 00:30:10.944 --> 00:30:13.084 Don't be afraid to ask for help. 00:30:13.085 --> 00:30:16.625 Do your best not to beat yourself up too much along the way. 00:30:16.685 --> 00:30:18.485 Cause it might be a tough road sometimes. 00:30:18.497 --> 00:30:19.127 if you can. 00:30:19.877 --> 00:30:24.634 And then also tell dad to buy 10 times the amount of those star wars action figures, 00:30:24.655 --> 00:30:28.365 then do not open them because they are going to be worth a ton of money someday. 00:30:30.345 --> 00:30:30.525 Yeah. 00:30:31.185 --> 00:30:33.735 So that's what I, that's what I'd say to my five-year-old self. 00:30:34.755 --> 00:30:35.145 Alison: I love 00:30:35.385 --> 00:30:35.535 Matt: Yeah. 00:30:35.535 --> 00:30:37.455 What would you say to your five-year-old self? 00:30:37.545 --> 00:30:37.965 Alison? 00:30:38.009 --> 00:30:40.830 Alison: Um, I think a lot of those same things that, you know, 00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:44.450 What makes you different is what makes you special. 00:30:44.563 --> 00:30:45.553 That's a good thing. 00:30:45.582 --> 00:30:51.292 I think growing when I was five years old in 1987, And everybody tells you, oh, be 00:30:51.312 --> 00:30:56.109 like a duck, let's, let other people's commentary of you just roll off your back. 00:30:57.069 --> 00:30:57.729 Ignore them. 00:30:57.785 --> 00:30:59.525 ignore the people, making fun of you. 00:31:00.635 --> 00:31:05.492 And I think that I wish that five-year-old me instead knew. 00:31:06.242 --> 00:31:07.818 First of all that hurt people hurt people. 00:31:07.833 --> 00:31:11.710 You know, that, that it really is a reflection of how they feel 00:31:11.710 --> 00:31:12.760 and what they're going through. 00:31:12.763 --> 00:31:16.322 And I wasted a lot of time getting really fired up about the mean 00:31:16.322 --> 00:31:18.032 things people had to say about me. 00:31:18.932 --> 00:31:22.082 One not knowing where they were coming from and two, not understanding 00:31:22.112 --> 00:31:24.092 that it was none of my business, what somebody else thinks of me. 00:31:24.122 --> 00:31:25.604 so I wish I'd gotten there faster. 00:31:25.664 --> 00:31:29.534 I wish that I had understood that the people who are really exceedingly happy in 00:31:29.534 --> 00:31:31.814 high school tend to peak in high school. 00:31:32.834 --> 00:31:36.374 And in a lot of ways, I feel like you and I both are still just getting started. 00:31:37.270 --> 00:31:39.970 And I wish that there was a way to say that in a way that a five-year-old's 00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:42.764 brain under stands, just hold on. 00:31:43.694 --> 00:31:45.684 Just hold on and be a freak. 00:31:45.804 --> 00:31:47.844 Be a weird, let people make fun of you. 00:31:47.844 --> 00:31:48.114 Matt: Yeah. 00:31:48.324 --> 00:31:48.984 Scream. 00:31:49.464 --> 00:31:51.924 Be emotional it's O K 00:31:52.524 --> 00:31:54.694 Alison: If they don't like you go find less. 00:31:54.984 --> 00:31:55.884 Matt: Go find less. 00:31:56.166 --> 00:31:57.216 Yeah, for sure. 00:31:57.456 --> 00:31:58.176 That is... 00:31:59.376 --> 00:32:00.036 That is it. 00:32:00.137 --> 00:32:02.322 Um, Well, alison. 00:32:02.853 --> 00:32:04.623 Thank you for doing this podcast with me. 00:32:05.073 --> 00:32:06.123 Alison: Thanks for inviting me. 00:32:06.123 --> 00:32:06.913 It's my favorite. 00:32:06.983 --> 00:32:08.217 I mean that sincerely. 00:32:08.367 --> 00:32:08.737 Matt: Yeah. 00:32:08.773 --> 00:32:10.810 I mean, I'm no longer inviting you by the way. 00:32:11.290 --> 00:32:15.070 It could be cute if you keep saying that, like until the very end of the 00:32:15.070 --> 00:32:17.372 podcast, meaning 200 episodes in, but. 00:32:18.109 --> 00:32:18.367 Anyway, 00:32:20.407 --> 00:32:20.827 Thank you. 00:32:21.187 --> 00:32:23.107 Alison: Thank you for the original invitation. 00:32:24.067 --> 00:32:25.597 The gift that keeps on giving. 00:32:25.618 --> 00:32:29.184 Matt: And thank you guys for listening now that we know that there are some, and, we 00:32:29.214 --> 00:32:31.464 really appreciate it and appreciate you. 00:32:31.529 --> 00:32:32.190 So, thank you. 00:32:32.700 --> 00:32:33.000 Oh, 00:32:33.033 --> 00:32:33.783 And there it is. 00:32:33.789 --> 00:32:35.110 until next time. 00:32:36.580 --> 00:32:36.820 Love 00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:37.750 Alison: birthday weekend. 00:32:37.840 --> 00:32:38.110 I love 00:32:38.110 --> 00:32:38.770 Matt: man. 00:32:38.980 --> 00:32:40.600 Alison: I'll see you soon.