And welcome to whatever number this fucking is. I'll figure it out and add it to the actual episode, and nobody really cares what the number is, but what they do care about is that this is the commentary for Godzilla 2000.
Featuring my co-host Matt.
Insert math joke here. Anyway, we are getting on to some good Godzilla shit. Yeah, yeah. Godzilla 2000, uh the Millennium Area.
is my favorite sculpt of Godzilla. Yeah. Okay. Um, there are some designs that they did for the Millennium Godzilla that were quite spiky and looked very sinister and they pulled back from that. Okay. Like
Like there were spikes coming out of his elbows and off of his arms in some of the designs. Yeah. And like like
The sort of s uh alligator or reptile, like various lizard types of reptiles, like the horny toad kind of looking lizards or whatever whatever they are. I can't remember what the name of them are, but that look is what he had. It was super, super spiky on top of the plates.
And even the plates had more spiky, sharp edges to him. Yeah, so he was yeah. Spikier. He just looked really angry and just like this is b
This era of Godzilla is a return to the anti-hero. Ah, yes. In a way that I really, really enjoy. But also it is the most all over the place. One movie has nothing to do with the next.
Reboot quill after reboot quill that they're trying to do here.
Man, every director wants to tell their own story, don't they? Yeah. It's gonna get really confusing and it's gonna get really, really weird, which is why I'm glad we're just gonna sit here and talk over it rather than try and
Have you explain it or understand what's going on? Yeah,'cause I I would just clip the whole movie and say you figure it out. Absolutely. Or just sit here and play on your phone like you did on the last one instead of actually looking at the screen. Yeah, but I knew what was going on.
I knew the whole fucking story. What's funny is I was watching the entire time, but I was so stoned I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. I knew more about what was happening in the movie than you did. You were activating your ADHD. You needed three things to be able to pay attention to one. That's what happens, man. All right?
I told you I have ADHD and I got nicked by the TISM. All right? I just
I got a lot of shit going on. Yeah. Alright, so Godzilla 2000, and by the way, the 2000 or Millennium Era Godzilla is going to be
The influence for my back piece of Godzilla. Okay, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Nice, nice. This is with Matthew Broderick, right? We're gonna have a good time. Fuck off the dog. I know I always know that joke will end.
came across this table at you. God damn. Uh oh. Corts hot, everybody got hot about it. I have all of these paperweights to choose from too.
Oh boy. All right. So we're gonna we're gonna shake that off everybody. Let's go ahead and do this commentary. Uh this is a regular Blu-ray Sony release uh from when the twenty fourteen era, I think they did a bunch of Blu-rays from Sony for
uh the Godzilla millennium era and things like that. And that's what we're doing for that actual Blu-ray.
It's basically just a direct copy that Matt and I are watching that is his review copy. So there we go. We're ready to go. We're on the black screen wherever it starts right at the beginning of the video. So three, two, one, click.
It's time for mu V M.
No, right now it's time for the Sony Columbia pictures. Time for intro magic.
Yeah, it's classic.
TriStar. And they also released some of my favorite flicks from the nineties too. They really did. Tri-hard.
Toho Company LTD. Even though I had confirmed earlier that we were recording, the minute the movie actually is starting and we're actually getting into the commentary, I still looked three times to make sure the recording was ticking up. Of course, yeah.
Anxiety man. If you can use it right, it's a superpower.
Alright, setting up some antennas.
So Son of Godzilla is one that I don't watch very often, which is why I didn't know what's going on. Yeah. This millennium era I have watched a shit ton. Gotcha. So I don't need to I can know where I'm at in the movies what I'm getting at. Yeah, so you can get as stoned as you want.
Yeah, except for the fact that I have to drive you home after follows somebody else.
We always have a reporter in Godzilla movies. Have you ever noticed that? It happens frequently, yeah. Yeah. Roger, loud and clear. What's up? Past kid bedtime. Child genius. Of course.
No, seriously, she's uh No, I figured a child genius. She's out here setting up antennas.
Expresses voltage regulation. It's a rough one for him, folks. Hit him hit him right.
I would advise those of you out there if you're going to hit a disposable vape, make sure you don't breathe out through your nose midway through. Oh yeah, that's gonna get ya. It burns and it's not fun. No, what'd you do that for?
Uh I'm a masochist? Yeah, uh you some kind of masochist. I'm gonna have to blow my nose if this doesn't.
That movie's so bad I'm glad he died as horribly as he did.
Damn man. Fucking poor Matthew Perry. He just fucking He was fine. Yeah. Yeah. If he wasn't fine, he sure was numb before. Uh yeah.
Yeah, for the buttons that they pumped into him.
I'm being facetious actually. I do like Matthew Perry and he done. And that was a murder. I think they've they've changed it. Oh, he got killed. Somebody murdered him. Well they say that whoever sold them the drugs, they're gonna charge him with murder because they or no, not even sold him.
The uh the rumor I heard it was a lady who was staying at his place provided him and gave him a dosage that was far too much.
Hotshotted basically. Yeah, for especially for someone who had quit drugs for a long time. It's the same thing, same way how Philip Seymour Hoffman
That was heroin. Yeah, but I mean it quit heroin for a long time and then he did his normal.
Don't look at me, look at the screen. Look at I'm looking at the screen.
It's ghost ship. No it's not. Oh it's Godzilla?
Ooh, yeah.
The suits are a whole nother level in God's in the 2000 millennium area. Yeah.
They augment things with C D really well too.
Godzilla.
You ever notice everything in 2000 was something 2000?
That year's WrestleMania was WrestleMania two thousand. Well yeah, of course. Instead of sixteen they called the two thousand. Dude, you only go to the even thousand years every one thousand years, so why not use it? Yeah, take advantage of it. Yeah.
They're millennium for a reason. Yep. Yeah. We lived into a new millennia.
We almost didn't if the Y2K bug hadn't gotten fixed, shit would have gotten really bad.
Shout out to all the engineers.
All those dudes and dudettes out there rewriting lines and lines of code. Changing the date value for the year or the the data value for the year from two digits to four.
Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, but what are we gonna do when we have to go to five?
Well uh luckily enough we'll be dead, so we don't have to worry about it.
That'll be they'll be at someone else's I still have to worry about it. Why? Oh because you worry? Yeah. Yeah. I'm just concerned. You're just concerned. I mean that's something that since it's gonna happen in a thousand years, I'm lightly concerned about it. Lightly concerned about that? Yeah.
That's uh I I would say that I'm more concerned about an actual Godzilla rising than I am about that problem coming in a thousand years. Yeah, I'm more worried about actual zombies before it would be coming in eight thousand years. Yeah, eight thousand years, yeah.
They really need to make it afloat. It's whatever. Listen, by that point in time I just think future generations are all assholes at each other.
Get off my lawn. Yeah. See the Godzilla tail hit the shack.
It's a good mix of CGI compositing and practical suit and then model work as well as some live action set stuff. It's really well done and blended.
No, she worries about me.
Yeah, so the kid's in charge in this scientific endeavor. Of course. Uh oh.
I compress this down too much, so the way that this looks for us is not how you would see it on the Blu ray. The Blu ray actually looks terrific, yeah. Hang on. Yeah, the egg bake was good though. Oh, thanks. Yeah.
Bacon, cream cheese, pepperjack cheese, egg.
Uh a little bit of half and half. Yeah, it's good shit. It was delish. Yeah. We took a break between recordings. Yeah. Fatty needed some food, ladies and gentlemen. But I'm talking about me.
Yeah, I'm getting really gone.
That quartz like fucking looks like he's going through chemo. No. Jesus. Thank you, but like also Jesus. Like thanks, but fuck. It's the darkest
Compliment you can pay one. This is great. This is like going up Godzilla. Yeah.
And you know they accomplished that with just like a flashlight in the camera really, really close. Yep. Or a couple flashlights, but it's terrific.
You can see how sinister the suit looks already with what they've shown and why you can tell why I like this go ahead turn off the lights there, you can't see it now.
Oh yeah. Godzilla definitely looks a little bit angrier these days.
But the way his teeth look, he had spines sticking out of him like a like the Sun Dragon thing. Why does he do that?
She didn't mean to do it. Uh it was a fear response where she was grabbing her camera too hard and she set it off.
This shit's cool dude. This shit is so cool. Watch Nice Um homie maybe try to get more into the middle of the road there, I'm just saying.
Just because they're called guardrails doesn't mean you need to hang on the rails. Yeah, right? Yeah.
It's not a water slide, it's a tunnel.
And that's a great composite. Oh I know.
Yeah, dad. Fucking foot to the metal. Yeah.
All the Godzilla stuff and this is about that intense. Yeah, nice. Like they they film him like he's supposed to be a threat again and they make him an anti hero.
And it's nice to do this one immediately after Son of Godzilla because that contrast makes it pop that oh my god, give that guy in the background with the scar there a monocle. He's like Mr. Monopoly over here. Give him a top hat. Look at that guy. Yeah, no kidding.
The whole area is fogbound, sir. We'll have to wait till tomorrow morning.
Oh look at that. Look at this motherfucker.
Oh yeah, he's way spikier. Way angrier. That train in the foreground, like the the way that they have the s the everything set up. Yeah. It's the scale of it is really believable. Nice little lanterns there.
Scare me more than Godzilla, you just stared out the window at him.
Abrazo.
What the fuck Billy? Settle down.
You know what? A little less screen time for you.
I can tell you why I downloaded a VPN onto my laptop. Yeah. Well we live in Nebraska, so you have to have one. Yeah. But be careful where your India where your uh your laptop or uh other VPN section can be.
Because now when you're in Indiana you need one as well. Yeah, no, I uh my VPNs if I ever use one, uh I just go to Canada.
I like to connect into Europe and then connect to another VPN and then connect back into Canada. Yeah. And then connect into a third VPN. Right back into Nebraska. My lawyers are advising me to stop talking. I don't know why.
I like to use a VPN, I connect to a European country. Is everybody comfortable? We're really crowded with all them in the room. Yeah, I know, right? You can just count them if you want to to figure out how many I have. They're low whispering. I told you I don't know how to count. You keep bringing it up. Is that why you always ask?
Ask me because you wanna know the exact number of people in the room with us. Yes. Helps. It's a little packed in here. Makes it a little bit warm. They're breathing up all the good air. Can you tell'em maybe to hold their breath. Dude, we're in the room. There is no good air. Yeah, well.
Not after the egg baked. That and the unbelievable hint of axe body spray I get every time I walk past your coat. It's not axe body spray I'm not
year old fucking bite me I'm not some fifteen year old high school kid. Oh sorry I actually do but like not for any other reason other than I don't want to shower. I'm just gonna spray this away. That's fine cologne that my wife bought me.
Yeah. No, I'm not saying you don't smell good. Your manly musk that you have is is definitely there, but what I'm saying is it's permeating the air and we have no good airlines. Yeah, between that and me vaping every five seconds to try and keep from freaking out
The room's a little stacked. Yeah, it's a little rank in here.
Man, these are great scenes here.
Why are you heading back towards Godzilla? You were just driving away.
The way that they used to light Gygan is how they how they light uh
Godzilla in this film where they use the red lighting to indicate filling. See it? Where they're highlighting it with all the burning fire and everything. But they do a lot of red under lighting when they're trying to make'em look monstrous like here and more threatening. Yep.
They did that with in Godzilla versus Gygan and then uh the follow up with that where it's Godzilla versus Megalon. Um
as well. They used a lot of that red lighting on Megalon and uh I think they had
Yeah, even in Godzilla vs Gygan they had Ghidra helping and they used they underlit Ghidra with the red as well if I remember. I think so. Yeah. Right, right. Like I said, all these movies are melding together. It's the way to make anything look evil, is red light underneath it. Yeah.
I should probably also mention that what I am a partaking of
is known as a knockout blend of various cabinoids. So yeah. Everything's going great over here. Yeah. The what I'm basically getting at, Matt, is if you want to ride home anytime soon after this movie's over, you should probably not let me do that again. Alright, yeah, don't hit that.
Again, please. Yeah, try and remind me of that. Yeah. Thank you. Because I will forget and I will reach for it again, and then I'll go, oh shit. No, no, no. I
Hopefully I'll sober up during the movie. We'll see what happens. Yeah, you should. I'm glad my car drives itself. Yeah, me too. I'll just let you drive. I'm just gonna go to sleep.
Not driving my car. I don't drive my car. My dri my car drives itself. Yeah. Billwood drives your car. Sometimes a bear drives my car.
Which is me. It's you. I'm the bear.
Even the effects for the sub, like the plasmic everything looks really good. At first I could tell if they're in the water or in space, but they're in sp they're in the water. Yeah, doing underwater effects like that or making it appear like it's underwater is really difficult. For me it's all the stuff that's falling in it.
It made it look like stars.
You quite literally have to film underwater and have things that flow off of the thing that you're filming to really make it believable to be underwater. But I suppose I should have figured it was water just'cause Godzilla movies, it's all water.
Yeah. Unless it was coming from space to Earth, which could happen. Now go and try again. God damn, I'm stoned as shit. I couldn't even remember the name of Guy Gan. Yeah. That's awesome.
Yeah. What none of her pictures came out? No. А, Кимура, это ты?
I am enamored with the rustic look of the loft apartment that they have.
It's like a loft industrial space, but it's rustic and old school. Okay. Sure. Excuse me.
But also you know that that loft that they're in has been there for a while. Yeah. And it's gone through the various levels of construction, how they've changed the way that they build over there. Yeah.
If you want to work with us, you have to join. This little girl's extortion technique here is terrific.
This is some commie shit. Yeah. That's that's that communist shit that you're telling you to worry about.
It's weird, like they all pitch in and pull all of their resources.
And in order to participate or benefit from what they're getting in the resources, you all have to pay in what everyone else paid in. Yeah. In order to benefit. There. See? Yep.
Yeah, we're just talking about ya uh But they share all the information that they get. They all benefit from all of the work that all of them are doing. Yep. And they all pool all of those resources for the dues that everyone pays in. Yeah. That sounds so evil.
So terrible. Why would anyone want to work together in a cooperative manner that benefits the whole of the group?
Disgusting. You know what? What are we in Star Trek? That's awful.
still think Star love Star Trek. It's like Y y you love that society, I sure do. So you love socialism. No, I hate it.
Oh, but I was just thinking, you know, I was talking about how two thousand was twenty six years ago. Yeah, if they made Back to the Future today, Marty McFly would be going back to nineteen ninety six. Sounds fair. Yeah. I'm like
You know what that means? Uh we are old enough to be Marty McFly's parents and back to the future. Yeah, no, I'm pissed off about that.
I feel old enough.
Yeah. We gotta go back, Marty, Marty. We gotta do something about your kids. Alright, so the scientists have found this uh rock rock that was a meteor that fell to earth ages and ages ago.
Oh, maybe that made Godzilla. And has been in the ocean like forever. Uh oh. More or less. And they decided to try and raise it. Yeah. They got it to a certain point.
Obviously, it's rising on its own. Yeah. I think this is an FA FO moment. Yep. They're they're we're at the FO part now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They already FA'd. Now they're gonna FO. Sometimes it's just better to let Like try to move.
There's a giant turd at the bottom of the ocean, just leave it there.
It's crusty from being in the bottom of the ocean.
I can tell you this much, it's not a turtle. It's not a turtle. It's definitely not a turtle. It's a turtle. It's not a turtle. It's definitely a turtle. It's not a turtle.
Why would I steer you wrong when it comes to giant monster threats? Because you want me to be surprised when it's a giant turtle? Honestly, you should always be surprised when it's a giant turtle. Because you're like, oh man, how slow is this thing coming? Good lord.
That's the best photo she could get of just the Godzilla.
Yeah, it's lazy. He's supposed to be in there chopping cabbage. This daughter is such a taskmaster. She does that cabbage. It looks like cheese at first. No, it's cabbage. He's just just really chopping it.
I there no, she was frying rice in she was deep frying rice ball. There might be something in the center of it though. It's at post two oh three one.
Hey, I've been analyzing some new tremors.
Alright, I just settled down from the uh psychoactive overdrive part of the high and now I'm just hungry and want to eat that stuff.
Whatever that fried shit is, I want some. I don't know why, but I suddenly have an urge to buy cannon. Seems like chicken tenders.
Chicken tendies? Chicken tendies. I'm pretty sure she fries up chicken tendies'cause it's the only way she can get her dad to eat. Yeah.
There's definitely a reversed parental situation going on here. Spotted him again? Yeah. There you go. Well, yeah, we're gonna get a dirt pike scenes then.
You stink.
No, breath.
See you tomorrow. Later, baby. Bye.
Say later baby? Jesus Christ, what kind of work environment is this?
Still I didn't call anybody baby in the office place.
Mean you, but we worked together, that was different.
Yeah, you called me baby outside of the office too. Yeah. And rather often. It wasn't just in the office, baby. It was outside of it too. It's uncomfortable. This is what we call pillow talk, baby. The line that I always use where I s say something like thanks or or I use
I use thanks babe from Shauna the Dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When he's like, He's not my boyfriend and then he hands on the beard. The beard's a bit warm. Thanks, babe. Thanks, babe. Yeah. I actually I say that to my car whenever I plug it in and sh and it says car charging, I go, Thanks, babe,'cause it's a it's a lady voice. Yeah. Bev gets jealous.
She's like, You do not call that car babe. And then I've the the Siri voice that I use is an Australian accented meaning lady. Lady. And I've said thanks babe to it whenever it says something to me off the phone and Bev goes, Do not call that babe.
He gets jealous of that too. She's getting a little worried when the sex robots come out.
As she should be. Everyone's gotta be on their toes when the sex robots come out. You gotta up your game. Yeah, you really do. Everyone though. I mean not just the women, the men.
Yeah. I n I am concerned. I have up my game. I have become a better masseuse because I know the sex robots are here. Yeah, the sex robots are here. Yeah.
Stay here. Listen, you're never gonna have as hard of a penis as a sex robot will. And I'll never last as long as a machine. Yeah, exactly. Especially a well-oiled one. Yeah, well oiled.
But I can be attentive in my back rubs. Yes, you can you can listen and be funny. Yeah. See, I've up my humor game. Well, as anybody who has ever heard this podcast knows I don't have a very good sense of humor, so I can't No, no, no, that's done.
It's not like I've got charisma to bat to fall back on either. That's the only th I uh only thing I have is being funny. And I'm a good listener. I said my back rub and foot rub abilities are off the chain though.
rub feet. I'm not a good back rubber guy. I gotta get better at that.
This is not a drunk And I I actually hate feet but I I will rub my wife's feet, you know, with their pain, just'cause I know that helps her.
And it helps keep me around. The thing is is if somebody loves feet, I don't know how much you want them to rub your feet in. No, because yeah, then it's it's not it's just
that loves feet. Yeah, because then it's not about you, it's about them. It's more about them. Although back rubs can become more about the other person'cause they're hoping that, you know, you'll be like, all right, turn around for your happy ending.
I mean, I didn't become really good at back rubs because I didn't want to get laid. Yeah, yeah, I mean there you go. So
Exactly. There's a reason why my back rub and foot rub game is on point. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah yeah, no, I I got the good foot rubs, but gotta work. That's why I'm that's why I'm attentive in other ways. I'm a good listener and I make you laugh.
You should have come with him when I established CCI. Not in a thousand years. I could never have worked for a man like that.
Yeah, I could never work for a man like you. I'm also quite handy. Uh I fix a lot of stuff and that's that's something that I bubbed my game in. Yeah.
Yeah, I can cook. Yeah, your robot may be able to fuck you into a coma, but can it fix your dryer?
In the meeting.
Maybe your robot makes love to you better than any other bean in the world, but can they smoke you a really good brisket? Eventually probably. I mean maybe, but you can probably also fix the toilet too. That's fair.
I said the dryer. The dryer. I mean all of it. I'd probably fuck the dryer. Fuck it till it works. Fuck it into working again. Fuck it back to the driver. It's so good at sex, it'll fuck the dryer working.
Good lord, how long have we been on this bit? We've been on this bit for a while.
General Takana of the 1st Division. I was told to report to you, sir. You know that guy's a bad person because he's wearing a long black trench coat. Yep. Bastard. You really think you can kill Godzilla?
Actually so many people have tried and failed.
Uh best though they can do is make him go to sleep for a bit.
Oh, Surazawa did kill a Godzilla though with the Oxygen Destroyer. Oh yeah, the Oxygen Destroyer did kill Godzilla. And then when they tried to bring the Oxygen Destroyer back, they ended up making destroy ya. Destroy ya
The big turd's back. Cause it's a turtle.
It's totally not a turtle. It's definitely a fucking turtle. That is not a turtle. Is it a clam?
Um
Oh no, okay. I thought it was opening like a clam.
I don't know if I would say that it is.
Yeah. Uh
No, no, that was the last movie. Oh yeah.
It's definitely not a clan.
Now it's just giving us all the finger.
That's a giant turd from the butt Ha ha ha.
Yeah, but the ass that produced that turn is terrifying Oh yeah yeah I mean you don't want to see that butthole and that one's been clearly pinched off yeah yeah that means there's more in there Fucking children.
I don't know where they got the footage of actual tanks, but we have footage of actual tanks. We have footage of actual tanks. Cool. Yeah, this does not look like stock footage and if it is, it's really cleaned up. Yeah. We've had a lot of bad stock footage of tanks in these movies. Yeah.
Now let him f fucking launch in the world. And then the model tanks as well. Oh well stopped.
Yeah, they're protecting the shorelines by being in the way and getting stomped on later. Roger Yeah, tanks never work.
As we know from experience, I'd like to have one of those. Yeah, the big six wheel thing. Yeah, that can go underwater. Yeah, that'd be perfect for a zombie apocalypse situation. Yeah.
Take it out onto a lake and just like live off of it. Mm-hmm. Convert one of those things into like an R V. Get a good air conditioner in there though, because they don't come with them and it gets hot in those things. Oh well I'm gonna convert the whole thing into like a Howls moving catchl castle situation. There you go. Yeah.
And if the mines are not a little bit more than a little bit of getting hot in the old rhino.
Blue like Jim Carrey all naked coming out of its butthole.
That's still one of the most disturbing seasons, but it's the only funny the only funny things about Ace Venture 2 was that
And then when he knocks out the rich guy and he goes, Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars and the guy's mouth was moving. Those are only two funny things to me. Oh, yeah, yeah.
That still makes me chuckle. Still makes you chuckle. Just the implication of the Tarzan call. It's the implication. It's the implication.
Uh
This really is filler. This is the most filler filled filling shit that we've ever done. This is the stuffing of podcasts. And not even the good stuffing, like the knockoff fucking stovetop stuff. It has raisins in it and shit.
It's like the dollar store stuffing. No, no, no. It's that stuffing when you go to somebody else's Thanksgiving and their mom is like, No, I make my own stuffing. It's the family recipe. It's got apples and raisins in it and you're like, What the fuck is this?
I feel like that style of stuffing is still too nutritious for kind of filler that we're going to do. Oh yeah, oh. This is mostly circus animal. So Godzilla coming out of water is like my favorite thing. Yeah. I love that. So cool. Yeah. Heavier green too.
That's what my tattoo is gonna be is Godzilla coming up out of the water and water cascading off of them. Oh nice. But it's gonna be done in the traditional Japanese style. Oh okay. So it'll be like that traditional style of water coming out and stuff. It's gonna be bad.
I haven't seen it yet. That's just what I told him I wanted and I know he's gonna do it.
The CG helicopters are a little ropey. Yeah, it's a little rough. Those are good.
The only
Depositing is coming up here when you finally hit shore. It doesn't quite look right.
Oh yeah, see that's bad. Yeah. Oh that was bad. That's okay. No, it's coming up soon. This is good. Yeah, no, it's coming up soon. The part I was talking about that looks bad. That was y it was obviously composited, but Yeah, the part I'm talking about is when he actually hits the land.
And they kind of cut to an angle of him walking on the beach and he's way too big for the background that they have of him. It just doesn't it looks odd.
I love these upshots of'em. Yeah, right here. Oh yeah. Watch as they pull out. It just it doesn't fit and it's obviously like rear projection. Oh yeah.
Yeah, he's just not there.
It doesn't look right. It's still cool. Yeah. They should have started the shot here. It looks better here. That looks okay. Oof. Yeah, that was a little roof.
But we're fine here, see? Yeah, this is good.
Yeah, so the way that the body is shaped on this, all they did was kind of remove the spines. Yeah. So each of those like little rigid pieces of scale on the body had some kind of spine that looked like his teeth.
Kind of coming off.
There was a couple of different designs, but I really like the one that they settled on.
Oh tanks are actually doing some damage there.
This is one of the Godzillas where you get to see all the blood and guts but he heals really fast. Yeah. It's one of that version of Godzilla. I love the spines for this design, for his back.
Good compositing here.
That's all model.
Pull back, motherfuckers!
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where they got all of these tanks for this, but they'd spent some money.
This movie is a direct response to how much they hated the Matthew Broader Godzilla. They rushed to make this because they were so angry at how.
They fucked Godzilla. How much they disliked it. How much Americans just ruin everything?
Yeah, it was a lot of work for it to get back into American hands to try again for the legendary pictures. Yeah. Because of the Matthew Brodock one. Oh. Alright, we promise we won't fuck it up again.
I know some people are hot and cold on it. I I like the legendary picture stuff too. Mm-hmm.
I look at it this way.
As long as you were doing it like at least somewhat with God the Godzilla lore and Yeah, yeah. Or at least are creating your own and it's sticks with a lot of what Toho wants for Godzilla. Yeah. Since they control the can character, then I'm fine.
and that's totally what legendary did. Yeah.
They stretched a few things and they moved some things around but they leave Godzilla himself pretty much. Becca Godzilla was cool. Oh yeah. And this legendary that legendary film? Yeah. Yeah.
And Kong finding his axe of power, I guess. It's technically Mecha King Ghidorah, the way that they did that. Oh really? Because yeah, it was Ghidorah's skull that they built the Mecha Godzilla from
So he's it's kinda like um the Kiru that we'll see later on where they there's there's a mechagodzilla in this series that they build out of a Godzilla skeleton. Oh okay. They use a Godzilla skeleton as the frame to build the mechagodzilla. They're checking out the poop on the
Well it's a very fascinating turd.
It's the most charismatic turd since uh Whoever laid this is ready for their colonoscopy. What was the turd's name in South Park? Mr. Hanky. Yeah, Mr. Hanky. The Christmas poop. Yeah, he's the most charismatic turd since Mr. Hanky. Yeah. Yeah.
I hope that me not being able to remember names of various things that I want to remember when I'm stoned is not a sign of early onset dimension.
When I'm stunned.
Either way, you'll meet new people every day. That's getting sadder and sadder. Uh oh. I feel like that ship should probably move. Yeah, it probably should move. You're about to be crushed by a giant poo. Calcified if no less.
Oh yeah. Uh-oh, now it's got a hole in it. That's its nostrils, sniffing it. I'm telling you, this is not a turtle. It's a turtle. Why would you think that? Because you said it's not a turtle first thing, but I didn't even bring it up. Okay, that's fair, but I'm trying to
Dude, this is seriously it's not a turtle. It's definitely a turtle. It is not a turtle. I know for a fact this is gonna be a turtle.
Sorry I brought it up. It's definitely a turn. I'm trying not to lead you astray and I'm failing miserably at it. I like that these missiles are doing damage. Yeah. I like that the humanity can fight Godzilla a little bit.
Targeted sight!
Honestly, that's more terrifying. You can hurt it and really piss it off, but it heals so fast that you really can't mean anything. Yeah, you can't get any headway with all your weapons.
And if you hit it with the strongest thing you got, it just powers it even more. Yeah, the nuke. We can't even use a nuke because it'll just power them even more. Yeah.
That straightens his tie. The rock's gone. It it just flew away. It'd like it flushed.
Uh-oh. Yeah, it's a flying turd. It's a turtle.
Ah, nice little Star Wars there. Dead and Star Destroyer view.
Okay, it's more of a flight of the navigator situation than it is a turtle at this point.
I do not leak, Navigator. You leak, remember? I have not watched that in ages. I used to watch that so much as a kid. Yeah, when I was a kid I watched that all the goddamn time. Just but honestly, dude, I'm a little nervous to go back and check it out again.
Yeah, me too. I'm like yeah. Maybe my like the last starfighter. Yeah, yeah, but it's a safety at the last starfighter because I just saw us the last starfighter on accident and it did not hold up for me. Oh, we're like deep in guns.
Uh oh. Oh the sh the uh flight of the navigator turret is uh scanning Godzilla's DNA. It likes what it sees. It sniffed him with its DNA.
What the fuck am I looking at?
When in doubt he's gonna atomic breath.
Yeah.
Yeah that Godzilla just looks pissed off. Yeah he's always mad.
Oh He went through and I mean right the fuck through that building.
Guy's not very careful with his bike.
We've already established that he's a careless child and that his daughter is raising him. Yeah.
Ooh, atomic breath, here we go.
Yeah, that's pretty powerful at breath. That was impressive. That was awesome.
You always have to have a train somewhere in a Godzilla movie too. Yeah Godzilla hates trains. Yeah. Godzilla has to hurt trains. Yeah. Which is weird. You never see him eat anything, but he's always biting trains and ships and ships. Yeah, he'd be hating trains.
Now this thing hates a train. Everything hates trains in Godzilla movies.
You gotta think they probably remind him of snakes. Yeah. And you know, it's almost the same size as that, or it's big enough to be a threat to that monster. Or they're just like it's gross. It's gross on a train.
I would never admit that I had a large fancy.
Infall, but there will be signs like I will pay to have that put into a pizza.
A big footprint.
Just for no reason. Just for no reason. Beaches will have like giant Godzilla footprints on the room. Like the news could be like, what the hell's going on on beaches?
Giant lizard-like tracks found all over the beaches of the world.
Specifically you should do it in Japan, actually, just to
I don't know if you could get away with it. Do it on the beaches of uh Thailand and you really start to cause a stir.
I don't want to start an international incident. Maybe China won't want it as bad then. Alright, now there's metal coming out of this thing. Yeah, so it's it it's a poo and crusted ship. The poo is melting. Yeah, it's a poo encrusted ship. Yeah. See like I said, it's flight of the navigator more situation. I didn't know how to do it.
how to describe it like and I wanted to let the poo come away before it was gonna happen. Yeah, before I see the turtle. Yeah but there's no turtle. It's it's it's a turtle slight of the navigator looking shit. You're lying to me and it's a turtle. It is
I promise you that you will not see a turtle in this I bet I'm gonna see a turtle in a half a minute. You will not see a turtle in this. I can promise you that.
There may be a giant dead turtle later on in this series, but you're not gonna see a turtle in this movie. No, okay. Yeah. I'm gonna I'm I feel like I'm about to see a turtle. In another movie, not today. No, okay. This is the last one we're doing today. I'm gonna see a turtle today.
Not in this film. I'm I'm definitely gonna see a turtle now. Oh my god, you make me wanna kill you. But it's been inaction. This is why we can't have you in the same room. No, no, no, man.
Because I can hurt you and I'm taking everything I have. And I have all of these weapons in front of me to choose from. And I really should stop, but I don't. I have all of these weapons in front of me to choose from. I know. You have a lot of things to choose from to hurt me.
I have a few choice selections from my Switchblade collection. A few choice uh But then do you really want to space the time to clean up the blood that gets all over your consoles?
I'm gonna just decommission this anyway. Uh yeah, okay. The real problem is who do I put up with to do a podcast with after I murder you? Yeah, right?'Cause it's gonna be the same. I hate everyone, so it's you have the face that people want to annoy.
I mean it's really low-hanging fruit to get on my nerves. Yeah, yeah, it really is. That's why it's so much fun to hang around. I've got some irregular amygdala issues, man.
Fucking just go, go, go. Everything seems like such a threat to me. Yeah. And I get so fucking irritated, so easy about everything.
That missile is uh a little lacking. Oh no, little missile, can't make it happen. Shh.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
It's like the foreskin peeled back.
Okay. That's made out of metal with an off-centered hull. Robot dick. It looks more like a shark's nose right now. It does actually.
But it's not a shark. It's not a shark. So it's definitely a shark, is what you're telling me. Fine. That's not a spaceship.
Oh, it's a spaceship? That's awesome, bad. Cool. It's a flight of the navigator. There we go.
Why didn't you just say that? Jesus Christ. Had me thinking it was a turtle this whole fucking time. Fucking child. I hate you so much some days. Why am I your friend?
We're friends? Doesn't feel like it's a good thing. This is what I get for feeding you. Yeah, right.
Believe me, I was trying to communicate that with you. Yeah, I didn't pick that up, sorry. But in all seriousness, there will be a dead turtle later on in this series. Where there?
Yeah. Alright. This is gonna be in this movie. I'm gonna tell you right now if a turtle is up showing up in this movie, I will freak the fuck out on you.
The best is that we're building this up and I honestly don't know if it's in this movie or not anymore. Like you've gaslit me to the point where I'm second guessing turtles shows up.
Be like you motherfucker. That's I'm seriously like I've gaslit to the point I am second guessing whether or not there actually is a turtle in this movie. Oh my god.
To be blunt
And I'm not gonna look it up because I just wanna live in this state we're living in the moment now. I gotta live in this f state of self-doubt that you have put me in because it's all your fault. How's it my fault? You're the one who couldn't shut about the there being a
I was so convinced and now I'm not so sure.
Why'd you just tell me it was a spaceship to begin with? I I swear I tried. I don't know what happened.
You've gaslit me into believing I don't even know what reality is anymore. Gas leading is not real. It just made it up. It's all in your head. It doesn't make sense. Yeah, I agree with you. Gas leading's not real. Gaslighting, it's still not real. It's all in your head.
You're acting crazy again.
Everyone says so. Just in case. You acted just like your mother. Actually, I probably am.
But nothing could be my father from the truth. Oh no What? Uh you're alright. It's okay, you need to go back throw the ball around a bit. Mutilate yourself in some other way. I am gonna get tattooed next month. Yeah.
I heard that your torso sucks. Like there's nowhere on your torso that does not suck to be tattooed. Yeah. And that's the area that I'm on now. So I'm gonna have a lot of breakthroughs coming.
It's gonna be the whole back. Your whole back should be Godzilla. My whole back will be Godzilla. Is it yeah? Nice. Whatever is already not tattooed that is part of my back and stops at my neck will all be Godzilla. Just Godzilla. Yeah.
You should get a tattoo of Godzilla on your face.
No. I'm stopping at the neck. Right on the forehead. I'm stopping at the neck, wrists, and ankles. Should do a Godzilla eye right on your forehead. And I won't be doing the bikini thong area either. Aww.
I don't even want to go near my ass. I'm not gonna ask somebody to tattoo. Yeah, yeah, gonna get back there, please. Yeah. Plus I don't wanna have to like be weary of how I sit on a toilet after I get tattooed. Yeah, you know that would be bad. Gonna get a tramp stamp.
No, because it's going to be all one piece of the big big big backup.
Literally a full back piece for Godzilla. Yeah. It's gonna take forever. Mm-hmm. And it's gonna suck. Yeah. I'm gonna have major breakthroughs with God's eye. Major break yeah, it's gonna be nice for you. Yeah.
Really? Yeah. This is not, you know, avoidance behavior that is escalating to a point where it might be damaging to my psyche. Yeah. On your back tattoo. Uh huh. Is it gonna be a turtle?
There's definitely gonna be a turtle on your back.
Thank you.
He would have to get caught up in the ocean waves that are with Godzilla. So hard to see, but you know it's there.
Yeah.
No, I'm hoping for a little bit of Godzilla popping out of the water and like a bit of a cityscape, but it's primarily just Godzilla coming out of the water. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see what we can fit in there. I mean I got a pretty wide back. Can be Godzilla coming out?
The clouds are clearing, sir. He's gonna have a pride flag at the end. No, no, that would be more Mothra. Yeah, Mothra oh yeah, Mothra.
I'm gonna do Mothra and Batra on the side. No, Mothra's a total skank. Don't you be talking bad about Mothra and Batra? Well though for me, skank is a term of endearment. It could revolutionize.
More sluts the better. But Martha Mothra's kind of like reproducing asexually most of the time.
God. Must be hot. Gives birth to herself. Yeah, look at that. You didn't hear me. I said I'm getting Mothra and Batra on my tits. Are you? Yeah. That's gonna be my chest tattoo.
What, pecs are just man tits, basically.
I mean Yeah. A man chest is just tits made out of meat, usually.
Yeah. I don't have pecs. I'm not saying I have pecs. I'm just saying Yeah, on your titties. Yeah. Yeah, you could say just say chest. Yeah, on my chest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you could've just said that. Yeah, but quite literally. On my tits.
Slap Mothra on my titties. I don't need anybody out here slapping Mothra and Batra. Leave them titties alone. Titties are not for slapping.
Oh, this is the worst fucking commentary. The only one that's worse than this one is the one that we've done before. It's always the second movie. We're chittends. At least we're
Hawking World. Yeah, yeah. Well I mean we were that was but you showed me a really good movie in that wrestling one, so it's I got interested in it. Yeah, no. Dark Match was really interesting for sure. Uh oh uh oh. I really dig that movie. I hope it comes out On at least Blu-ray D V D.
Oh my god, look at that penis grow. Now it's a penis, it's not a turd anymore. Still a flight of the navigator ship, dude. I don't know man, now it's starting to look more penisy.
If your penis looks like that, you might need to see a doc.
Uh make an appointment.
It looks like a like late nineties ergonomic mouse. It's definitely like the more flight of the navigator now. Yeah. It looks like a nineties ergonomic mouse for sure. Yeah.
They're your own discs, right? Do we run? Yeah.
The UFO just flew away again.
Uh oh.
Gotta get out in the field work. Getting soft in the office. Soft. You know, even when it's uh turch.
looking like a giant turd, if it's flying, it's still technically a UFO.
But it doesn't look like a turd anymore. No.
And I can promise you now that that thing is not a turtle. Why do you keep telling me it's a turtle, man? We just established it's flight in the navigator. How could it still be alive for so long?
God damn. I don't think it's turtle, man. It's a little bit more.
Fuck will you stop telling me there's a turtle in here. Now I'm all expected turtles to come popping up. When someone says something is definitely not, that means what to you? Not when someone. When you say something definitely isn't something.
So it all steps with your trust issues with me? Yes. Okay.
I don't know how to counter that. Because if you won't trust anything I say, I I can't defend or or bring you from a different position to get you to trust me.
Trust you.
Your psychology is a little bit
Just concerning. Now you sound like my doctor. What do you would you go to medical school?
No, I've just been around enough fucked up people to know you need some help. What'd you do Cort? You go to school or something? This is a guy who gets tattooed rather than actually see a therapist telling you this. Hey man, you gotta school tomorrow.
What I like to call it is advanced ank acupuncture. There you go. Is the therapy that I do. Yes. Advanced acupuncture.
Well acupuncture should not help your mentality. It's supposed to just make your joints feel better. I'm unblocking my chakras, man. Your uh your chakras? Keep those fucking blocked, okay?
Keep those chakras tied up tight.
Stop releasing your chakras in public. It's inappropriate. You sound so Midwestern right now. So uptight. So uptight. That's just not Midwestern, that's just American. But particularly the way we talk about chakras is so.
Yeah, that's true. Everybody So the ship is landing on a building. As it does. No! I thought it's a picture! No time, sister! Let's get out of here! No time, sister! Let's go!
First they call her babe, then we call her sister.
All streets around City Tower.
Right away, sir.
Yeah, this way let's go on our little motorcycles You know, once that thing perches on top of the building there, it looks like a really deformed penis.
God, penises are everywhere nowadays. You ever notice that? Certainly more places than I would like them to be. Yeah. Yeah.
Keep that shit in the bedroom people.
Now that we know it's hostile. It's like we're juveniles. We are. Thank God it's going to be a good thing. That's why we have a podcast.
I'm so glad that we came back to do this, Matt. Me too. It's a good time. Just wasting our lives.
No. Why not both? Why not both? I mean there's a table here. We just keep our hands under the table and don't look anywhere other than the screen. Just look at the screen. Look at that penis up there.
Actually it almost looks like a rock hammer. That's kinda rough.
Yeah. You gotta compare this against like the fucking mummy and then Scorpion King that came out. Yeah, oh the Scorpion King. This is nineteen ninety nine. Yeah, that's true.
So that's not when he was the scorpion oh my god, he looked terrible. That wasn't a dis that was an executive fault. It wasn't the guys who did it. They rushed it and they just put it out as is.
Or do anything with texture mapping or anything. That's why it looked that bad. Yeah. It was the executives just po
Media in a movie to come out. Yeah, it was basically the previs version of the CGI they put in that movie. Oof. Essentially. Jesus Christ. Like I I don't know, like I'm not
I'm I might be being a little bit like facetious about that and going a little overboard and overemphasizing it. But it was a basically that bad where it was like they had no time to get it done. Yeah. And that was like their very first pass at it. Oh. If that. That sucks. Yeah.
So that's why the Scorpion King shit looks so bad. But the actual CG they took their time in in the first mummy even looks rougher than what that Godzilla did. Oof.
And that's around the same time. This is nineteen ninety nine.
I mean you can tell by the IMAX here. Yeah, right. Those were such a big thing back then. The Macs
With the colored monitors. That particular iMac. No, that was all the computer. The whole thing was in that. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But I meant the the colored
Yeah, the special thing that everybody knows about. Blue, yellow, orange. And because they were so stylish they were in like every fucking movie. Every movie had an IMAC in it, yeah.
I'm sure Apple paid a hefty penny to have their stuff featured. That's probable.
It's just resting on that building. Oh stuff's coming out of it now. It's uh spaghetti data lines. Ooh, yeah. Invisible or some kind of like weird?
Power. Yeah, somehow it connects there, but we can't see how it's connecting. But that uh That lady just does not want to leave the office.
She's a uh reporter who wants more than what she has in the salacious newspaper company or not newspaper, but the salacious news company that she works for. Yeah.
So she's willing to go above and beyond.
It's getting all the data.
So she severed the power there to kill all the servers and it's still taking it.
It's like Doing it with ghosts.
I don't know if I believe this. No, yeah, it's affecting all the buildings. Well it's an alien species or some sort, so sure it's got technology I don't know anything about. At this rate, all of Tokyo's data could be gone in a few hours.
It's not just copying the data, it's taking it from you. Yeah. Yeah, it's taking the data.
So it's Facebook. It's not a spaceship, it's Facebook. It's Facebook, yeah. It's m it's meta. Just taking everything. Just taking everything.
We didn't know how good we had it with uh MySpace. They didn't want our data. Just Tom giving us a place to go. Give it a customize your page.
He actually lets you edit the script that your page would display on the ad
That you didn't want on your page. What did we do? We turned our back on him. Now, luckily, not until after he already sold MySpace for millions and millions.
And then he just went away to try to control what the other thing is.
Luckerberg, nothing, just he went away to take photos of the world which is his passion was always photography, apparently.
I wanna fuck Tom. I kinda do.
I mean that one I understand. The guy's rich. Seems like a nice guy.
You wanna fuck Tom? No, I want Tom to fuck me. Engineers have just left, sir.
Good. I wanna put my dick in it.
I just want to remind you that as we are recording this, the noise from the film is not going on the recording and everything you say is crystal clear. And if I were to choose to, yeah, I could clip the shit out of you again. Probably.
You just don't care anymore.
Have it for a long time. That's just a seven dicks comment. I think after that it's all I had you trained to be careful what you said for like the longest time, but then I stopped clipping and then the clips I did use I abused you so much you stopped caring. Yeah.
I made you numb. We gotta know why they're interested in the case. A seven dicks king just wore you out. Just w just was like, eh, it's done. Are you there? Can't get any worse than this comment.
Well, some of the stuff that I took out of context too like Yeah, though that was that that's different though, that's taken out of context. Now it's I can't say anything worse than the seven dicks comment that that was not taken out of context at all. It's just what I said.
Well, it was taken out of the context that you were making a wise crack about the lady pretty much going. American World of London that she was pretty much going through her S T D panel with the dude before we go ahead and Well I think she was just trying to say that she had had a
rather boring life and she's not accustomed to taking men from the hospital back to her boring life. In the late seventies into the eighties that's not that many. Especially in Europe and England. But that was being safe.
I mean'cause you know, AIDS was just right around the corner. But I'm saying it's not that much. It's not that big of a body count. No, I'm not saying it was a big body count, but I'm not saying it's low either. I mean that sounds pretty reasonable for a reasonable person. Yeah, that's what she was trying to do.
Yeah, I'm a reasonable person. Right. Now, let's fuck.
She's like everything you say, she's like, I'm a reasonable person. Let us fuck You need to stop talking about this woman's life because everything Everything you say about this woman's name.
I don't know, I think I think me a clip of me going, I'm a reasonable person, let us fuck is one of the most tamed ones I could do. It's the wokest clip you'll ever have. Yeah, yeah, I'm a reasonable person, let us fuck.
Hey, listen to me. Tell others in the building, understand? It does sound a little demanding. Yeah. You could probably throw in there with your permission. With your permission, let us fuck.
Oh intended.
For your consideration.
That's kind of my lovemaking style. Yeah. I just stand there naked and go, For your consideration. For your consideration. And once they stop vomiting, sometimes it works. And a penis for the lady?
Can I interest you in a mild invasion? It won't take up a lot of your time. We gotta get out. You'll barely notice it. Literally know I was there.
Oh Jesus Christ.
Oh, that's her mom? No. Hurry up! Don't be too alone. He literally said that to her.
That's not the mom, that's the reporter. That's a reporter, but uh but he said that. Your mom's in that building.
Well I think he's divorced.
Oh. I I don't know. Yeah. Her mom if that lady that was standing there was her mom, then he would have said, Your mother will take you. So more about our way was we flirt with our wives to try to get to have sex with us. Do you do a nice little presentation with
the penis. Like I try to have a nice little platter. Maybe decorate it up with stuff around it. Trying to make it as appealing as possible. No, the joke that I used to make is the line that Samuel L. Jackson says in uh Loncas Connor.
Yeah. Usually I sock him in the jaw and say Pop goes the weasel. Jesus Christ. But obvious for obvious reasons that's not woke at all. Yeah, that's just not the joke that you can do anymore. No, that's the opposite of woke. W unless you have prior consent for that sort of thing. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean like if that is like how you and your partner throw down. Yeah. Is to literally throw down. Is liter that I mean yeah, if that's if that's what you're into, that's what you're into. But you need to you need prior consent. There's like yeah, I'd get written consent, maybe a verbal consent there. I'd I'd you know
Backups. Sign in triplicate. Uh then we gotta take you to a notary and then I'll throw you around. Right. If physical assault is how you play, you need to have protections. Yeah, I mean lots of them too. Yeah. I mean your lawyers are all nodding their heads.
Yeah, they're very happy that we're having this conversation. Triplicate. Listen, I just mentioned paperwork and they're all jacking off right now. It's really weird. They're not HR specialists. No, they are not. No, but I mean you you talk about paperwork
Maybe we shouldn't come back. Maybe this should just maybe we should just stop doing this.
Just stop in the middle of this movie right now and just shut it down. Good night, everybody. See ya.
Sorry, this was a huge mistake. Last thing you'll ever hear us say is ruined lawyers jerk it off, and that's it. That's the last thing ever. We say the dumbest thing we've ever thought of, and then the show just ends.
That is kind of how year 10 ended though. Yeah. I mean The dumbest shit we could possibly say in that year. Dumbest shit we've ever said in our lives. And then it was over with. And then it was done. Yeah.
And thank God we already had that pre-planned break with everything that happened in my life right after that. Almost didn't make it to it, man. Yeah. Thanks again to uh Darren and uh Danny Sarah for helping us get there. Yeah.
Too late. We gotta go. Follow me. Nice car.
How do you afford a car like that on a reporter's salary?
Blackmail. Yeah. Yeah, she definitely has a picture of the president of Tokyo like fucking a goat.
Well that went there. Yeah.
Somebody clearly likes Black Mirror, that's all I'm saying. Never seen it. Oh, yeah. Okay. No, I haven't actually.
There's a whole thing where the Prime Minister of England is blackmailed into fucking a pig in Black Mirror. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, not just blackmailed, but like he has to do it on camera or like some kind of a terrorist attack will happen or something. I can't remember what it is. Jesus Christ.
It's really dark. That's a whacked out fucking thing. Yeah. And the show goes there when it shows it to you, but it's yeah. Mm. I'm not a huge fan of Black Mirror. I I got into Channel Zero a lot more. Yeah. Than I did Black Mirror.
Woods channel zero.
It's like a horror anthology, but every season is like its own contained story. I gotcha. Yeah. And some of the stuff in Channel Zero really fucked my shit up. Mm-hmm. It's based around creepypastas, I think, is what they based it on. But like the ones that they picked are really fucking weird.
Oh Jesus. And like the stuff that they expanded it on, it gets really, really dark. Yeah. Yeah. There's one season that deals with grief in a way that I was not prepared to watch. Oh wow. Yeah. Don't do it. Almost as depressing as bring her back. That deals with grief.
Grief in a way that's just really difficult to get through. Yeah. I bought that on uh four K, bring her back, and when I finally got Bev to agree to rewatch it with me, we had to watch it in the bright sunshiny day. Oh Jesus. Like yeah, like like midday, like
right after lunch and then we had to watch something else afterwards to make her happy again.
They destroyed the building to try and stop this thing from harvesting data. And and it's still there. Yeah, that's how you can tell that this is a fantasy because they're trying to destroy the creature that's harvesting data. Yeah, instead of you know giving it more political power.
Power and The ship is unpassed.
Uh oh.
Oh and it just Independence Day of the building Independence Day came out 1996 I think so Oh yeah that's totally yeah
I'm not arguing. When I looked at you I was like, you're right. I was just waiting for you to finish. He's gonna Alright, number one, his hands would be shredded to try and slide down those cables for sure. Yeah.
Especially at that speed. Yep. And that still wouldn't save'em because all those collapsing pieces would come down that elevator shaft eventually all the time. And they're right there. Yeah.
Was that the bomb that did that or the alien spaceship? A little bit of both. The bomb did like the first couple of floors and the alien spaceship said, Oh, you wanna blow some shit up?
Here, check this out. Check check me out, motherfucker. Yeah, and then at Independence Day the whole way through the building. It's a dead end. Don't say that to the kid right now. Don't say dad. Jesus.
I hear something.
It's a Oh look at that.
That was a bit grim. I just processed it. Yeah yeah. It's like wait before he had that one.
Need to put this fucking switchblade down and stop opening it under the table so you don't hear it on mic.
Yeah oh yeah that's the comb one. Yeah.
I collect switchblades for the dumbest reason possible. Because I was obsessed with them as a kid in fourth grade. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I collect switch. You watch that one movie that was in the fifties and some greaser was like, whoa, we gotta dance.
No, Switchblades were all through eighties movies, too.
Like even in the Toxic Avenger. Yeah. Yeah. Actually that's probably what got me into Switchblades was how hot she looked opening up a Switchblade. Yeah.
That that might have done it. And then Freddie shot her up with so much heroin she died. That's what kept me off heroin. Yeah. I was like, wow, if it's bad for that chick, I can't handle it. No, man. She She looked like she could handle some heroin. Yeah. She
You know, I don't know how to how to respond to that. What she just has this Keith Richards. She just has this Keith Richards. Well all I know now is that's how I'm gonna describe people from now on.
Well what the person look like?
The guy looked like he could handle his heroin, that's for sure. Not like a Philip Seymour Hoffman character, but more like, you know, like he can handle it. Yeah, I'm talking like someone from the stones, like the Jagger or something. Like they figured out the right amount.
Right. Exactly. Right. I keep wondering which year I think I should take Keith Richards this year, Deathpool. It's getting close to halfway. It's gotta be. I mean I know he's pickled himself in so many chemicals. Yeah. Yeah.
I have no problem making fun of Keith Richards or McJagger because so many
died in their wake because of getting them into the kind of drugs that they just ingested. Yeah. And they need to be held accountable for that a little bit. You know? Because everybody got so reckless and they really, really caused a lot of deaths. Oh hold on. In the music industry.
You can't blame Keith Richards. No, it's no use. And I mean you can blame them for a lot of things, probably like sex with underage girls and people in other bands that died of overdoses and had drug problems.
It's because they were partying with the stones in that era. But they were making their own decisions to do that partying. That's fair. But the fact that those guys could do it and be able to do it the back. Okay, but you can't make them like evil because their bodies get hit.
handle it and other people's couldn't. This is like sounding like somebody who drinks way too much and is trying to find a justification for I didn't I make no justifications. I just enjoy how much Godzilla stuff is.
Yeah, we're we're at Godzilla now. The debate's over. Yeah, we don't need to argue that shit. No. More pointy of a face for this Godzilla. Look at this set. Oh, it's good. I don't it's obviously some CG augmentation, but it looks like he's actually in a the city street there for a second.
Godzilla's like, I'll handle this my fucking self.
So you're saying it's their own fault for trying to keep up with them is what you're trying to get at. Yeah, I mean dude don't don't do your shit know your body
Listen, there are plenty other things to yell at Big Jagger and Keith Richards about than that. Yeah, that's whatever.
I'm not going to try and That looked like a support cup. I'm not gonna try and indict them for drug offenses when they've done much worse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At this point let's talk about probably all the underage girls they had sex with. There there we can
Fucking statutory rapist pieces of garbage. Well, Bowie's guilty of that and so is a lot of other fucking musicians from the seventies. A ton of musicians of the seventies.
I mean some of their songs even talk about it. And it goes all the way back to rock and roll even in the fifties. Yeah. And then it's not even just rock and roll. No, it's just music and brand. Our society was just fucking gross back then. We just were okay with it and they shouldn't have been. No.
Or if they weren't okay with it, they didn't do anything about it or shame the fuckers for it. 14-year-olds should not have been going to rock concerts. Fourteen-year-olds should not have been invited backstage. 14-year-olds should not have gone to rock concerts without parents with them?
It's supervision. And then yes, they should not be invited backstage. I don't know, I don't think kids should be limited to rock concerts, but I think kids should be kept more safe there. Yeah.
Yeah, they should not be inviting kids backstage. Yeah, that's where the that's don't do that. That's the obvious demarcation line. Yeah, don't do that.
Definitely without not without a parent. You shouldn't be leaving anybody like not like that. Yeah, they should be inviting him back there anyway. Like if it's a make a wish thing, at least then there's like officials around. Yeah, and family. Yeah. Yeah.
Shit dude. Some rock stars got their
fucking wives families to sell their daughters to Yeah, yeah. Or sign over rights to them. Yeah. Steven Tyler did that shit. Steve Stephen Tyler who had his uh parents sign over a sixteen year old
you know, guardianship to him so she can go on tour with him. I forget the actor's name, but some fucking like fifty year old dude just recently did that with a teenage rock.
He was the guy who played Looney Bin Jim in fucking Punisher with uh Ray Stevenson. Yeah. No, yeah. In he g when he was on the Green Mile. Yeah. They're not together anymore. No, they're not, but that happened. But that happened, yeah. Yeah. That's gross. Yeah, way gross.
Not good. Yeah, if you have to become your spouse's legal guardian in order to be able to marry them, something's wrong. Yes, very wrong.
Something that's very illegal. This is definitely not a turtle, man. No. It's starting to look like a turtle, Cort.
Cort, I swear to god, if I see a fucking turtle in this show. You know what it looks more like? The Predator's shoulder pad. Especially when the candy fires. It looks like a jock support.
With a pee hole. Yeah!
But definitely when it was shooting upward, it looks like a jocksword.
No, it looks like one of those like metal s medical supply things that's supposed to help a male incontinence. Oh yeah yeah. It looks like a cod piece. Yeah, but like for male incontinence. Yeah, yeah. Where it has where you hook the tube up to Oh yeah, there you go. Shh.
No, that's not incontinence. Incontinence is when you can't control whether or not you go to the bathroom. It I don't it looks like the You're thinking impotent. It looks like the cup that had a pump that uh that was uh the bad guy used in uh average Joe's
Or dodgeball and dodgeball. Dodgeball. Yeah for the ball.
Oh!
Dodgeball's another one of those movies that got quoted all the time. Yeah. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. Before we had the memes.
That shockwave's pretty cool. Yeah. Dropping a building on Godzilla. That's that's some shit.
That was gonna be my second choice was Godzilla emerging from being buried in rubble. Oh yeah. No, the water though is more traditional. Well the water is less used as far as tattoos go. He's usually in a cityscape from what I've seen. Ah, gotcha. Or like smashing a city anyway.
Yeah.
No, from the animation it looks like moth or dust. It does actually.
Cort, I swear to god, if a turtle pops out of this thing, man.
It'll look more like the Muto whenever it shows up.
The Muto from the American Godzilla film. Okay. The creature that comes out of this thing. Yeah. That ends up fighting Godzilla.
Spoiler alert, an actual creature fights Godzilla. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Um Still trying to get data. It looks more like a m no, it's harvesting DNA from an injured Godzilla right now. Uh apparently.
This spaceship can do anything, Matt. It can do it all. Except love. This guy's been talking about this regenerator G property is what makes Godzilla heal. Uh-huh. It's harvesting that. Oh shit.
And we're tired of seeing a CGI spaceship, so now we're going to see a weird looking suit preacher. Nothing wrong with that.
It also mutates like a lot of Godzilla's opponents.
This is some roof CGI. Yeah, this is rough. But again, think about what some of the L's look like in like the Men in Black and stuff like that.
Some of that CGI was a bit roof too.
So the spaceship Kinda looks like uh also uh uh invasion or uh no uh War of the Worlds. Yeah.
Little bit.
The ship had a bit of a War of the Worlds feel to it. Yeah. In Flight of the Navigator a little bit.
It doesn't stay like this thing for very long.
It's like a squid in a stingray had a child.
Gross. Yeah, this CG is a bit. It also looks like the alien from Independence Day with the head. But I think that was a bit of an influence on us for sure. It's regenerator G1. He's using it to adapt to our atmosphere.
Well there you go. For our atmosphere.
That's all say, what the fuck was that all about?
I also didn't want to have Godzilla emerging from rubble because it looks like he's coming from a place of weakness.
Or if he's coming out of the water about to smash something that looks like a place of strength. Oh the ship's still there. It didn't morph into that thing. And the ship was just destroyed.
So now all that's left is the creature. I don't know Matt. I think the ship's gonna come back from that. Is it? I I don't think there's anything to come back from.
I mean there's some of it still left. Is it gonna be a turtle?
Get the fire stinkers, hurry!
I don't think that part's going to turn into a turtle, though. You don't know anymore, do you?
I honestly I'm not sure. If it turns into a turtle, I'm going to freak the fuck out on you. I'm pretty sure there's no turtle in there. This will be the last show if it's a turtle. This should just be the last show. It'll just cut off with me going, it's a fucking turtle and then just silence.
Alright, here's the Muto looking at the first one. Yeah, here we go. Now this is starting to look better. Oh it's not the final form. It's an actual suit though. Yeah. But yeah, I think the Mudos in the twenty fourteen Godzilla are patterned after this. I gotcha.
I forget what this thing Two as
But people are a little harsh on this one. Yeah.
I don't know, man. I just any giant monsters fighting, I'm happy. Yeah, it's just good stuff. Yeah. Any kaiju action you can get. It's only when you cut away from the kaiju action for annoying people and kids that I don't want it anymore. Same thing with my problems with the Michael Bay transport.
Transformer movies. It's like stop cutting to the people. If I wanted to see people, I'd watch period drama. I want to see robots. I want to watch Transform. I want to watch people, I'll watch Bridgerton. Yeah. Yeah. I want to see Autobots and just such
Transforming into shit and transforming giant robots. That was a good punch. They have a good old slobber knocker. Yeah.
Oh look he's got a little gun too So it harvested Godzilla's DNA and made this creature out of the ship and
DNA. Yeah. Told you it could come back. Oh it did come back. Look at that shit. See I saw some of it was left. Yep.
But I'm positive now it won't turn into a turtle.
Fuck there's gonna be a turtle.
Fuck me.
It also kind of looks like those weird crab-like monsters from the Dark Crystal that go hunting the Gelph. Yeah. A little bit.
Goodness, my lower back is killing me from sitting in this chair and leaning forward and not actually enjoying the chair. I'm gonna lean back now. Ugh.
Oh that's much better.
Yeah, you can see all the little sorta spikes that are on his back there. Yeah. They were much more prominent. Oh, okay. Yeah. Still way more spikes to get than he usually has. Yeah, that's why I like this one. The spiky nasty.
This model work is incredible. Oh, laser blast or time breath coming.
And I think the ship and the
Oh, the ship's gonna t take the brunt of it to protect it. Nice.
Oh not enough though. Gotta put the mic closer to your mouth. I said not enough though. There you go.
So this thing needs Godzilla's DNA, but it does have the healing factor that we're seeing here.
In the CGI. Now he's all pissed.
So this thing's sort of like a uh changeling or a DNA snatcher where it takes what it needs from
Which is an interesting villain for Godzilla if it can start stealing his power. Exactly. Yeah. I like the tail bashes to the head. It's like, fuck off. That's awesome. That was a good explosion of howums.
Yeah, going across the tops of the houses with the tail, that looks incredible.
This is why I love this era is they really took the suits very serious. Really took their time with the shots and made'em more dynamic. Oh yeah, made'em look really good. Yeah.
You feel each of the bites too as they're happening where they're fighting each other. Yeah. It's very visceral. Very much like uh two animals how they would fight.
Is Meg oh look he's uh pulling uh DNA out you with that CG there. He's starting to turn green like Godzilla. Oh yeah, look at that.
I think this is this creature is actually a commentary on the maps we brought her because it's trying to become it. Yeah, where it's doing its best and it's trying to destroy it to become it. Yep. Yeah.
I don't think they're mints and words about how they felt about that.
I love the way his spines glow. Yep. Whenever he shoots it. He's gotta open up its mouth and shoot fucking
Ooh, that was cool. I love that you know the technique it's gonna have to use to kill this thing. Yeah. Gotta breathe it into its fucking mouth. You're not wrong, but the way that this gets delivered is gonna surprise you still. Alright.
Other than the Godzilla minus one, this is some of the strongest Godzilla atomic breath. Oh yeah, look at that. Yeah.
Fire and explosions from the breath. Yep. Godzilla minus one, he does the atomic breath and it leaves off in a mushroom cloud. Yeah, well yeah, he actually nukes the the whole entire of Tokyo. It's the only way to be sure. Yeah. Poor poor Japan.
Yeah, man.
Shin Godzilla's laser is like a laser beam, yeah. And then that can come off of his spines, which is even more terrifying. Exactly.
Oof. Looking rough, pal. Looking like the first x-ray of your lungs before you quit smoking. Yeah, right.
That is terrific. The cityscape with them around it. Oh yeah. That looks so fucking.
And the the other one smoldering is awesome.
I believe that grow the dog Godzilla just did was him saying, Fuck around and find out now. Right then. What the fuck do I gotta do to put you down?
It's like the first thing Danny Glover says when he sees the uh The predator. Yeah, with the mask off is you're one ugly motherfucker. Or one ugly motherfucker.
I do believe that this uh monster just asked Godzilla, is that all you got? Is that yes.
He's like, look what's going on in here. That's not disturbing at all. No. Not at all.
That's it looks like a fuck. Yeah, now what? It's starting to do that thing shit from uh John Carpenter's The Thing. Yep.
It unhinged its jaw like a
Godzilla just went inside of it. Yeah. Oh, this is how he's gonna deliver. I told you I told you you were not wrong that he needs to shoot it into its mouth, but you're gonna be surprised at how it happens. Yeah, he's gonna eat He's eating me.
This lizard brain Godzilla can plan so. Oh yeah, Luna, he's just like he knows that it can't swallow him, but it is harvesting its DNA and it's really transforming into him. He's at the inside of it, the most where you're most vulnerable.
Does that mean that like Godzilla has that unchanging jaw thing that this thing just did? No, I think I think it uh even uh it's more of an evolution. Look, look, look. Oh yep, here we go. Yeah. Oh, it's a big charge up too. His whole body's glowing. Yeah, that's badass.
Oh, man, that's awesome. Yeah. Oh, it's high. It's just open like, oh, shit. Oh, yeah.
Jesus. You called it. You totally called it. The only way to kill it is from the inside.
I hope the half life of the radiation that's left behind from this is not very long. Right, yeah. No, they all have cancer now.
I just meant for future generations to be able to repopulate this general area that just got blasted. Yeah, that's that's that's gonna be in about another two thousand years.
Nonsense. They're just gonna move people in and hope for the best. Yeah, well. What is this, America? I mean that's what Americas would do. Yeah, exactly.
Godzilla's like, well that was weird. That r definitely rates a 10 on my weird shittometer. Oh, it's got a little uh zoo after effect where he cooked it to a fine crisp. Yeah. Oh look, it's a statue.
If it starts healing and turns into a turtle, are you gonna lose your shit? I will lose my shit.
Just checking the time, I am positive you will not see a turtle in this. Yeah, what is that? Six minutes left? Yeah, something like that. And a lot of that's gonna be crits. Yeah, we're good.
Godzilla all in red in here looks amazing. Oh yeah. So demonic and evil.
But he just helped everyone out. Yeah, so like all those scaly bits that are sticking out, yeah, they would have had teeth. Like like like actual spines like his teeth. Oh man. As well. That'd be cool. Yeah, he would have looked so vicious like that. I think with a choice they made.
made is right because this is enough still like Godzilla, just way more intense. Yeah. And that other version, if I show you a picture of it, he's really scary. Is he? Yeah.
Here's a speech where we get to hear that Godzilla is all of us and Godzilla is inside all of us.
It's like me when I realize that this movie's twenty-six years old. That's how I get sixty million years and then В нашем Yeah.
Yeah! Godzilla's coming!
Alright fuckers, you done now? Go back to sleep. Overcoat's about to get put into his place here. Oh yeah? Yeah. This is one of my favorite sequences in any Godzilla film. Coming up.
Катакири!
Come on! Run! If there was ever a time to smoke, smoke em if you got'em.
I've never seen Godzilla this close before.
Yeah, compositing there's a little rough. Yeah.
It's alright. Doesn't matter because look at that upshot of the suit. Yep. I don't know what they did about this sculpt, but it feels like it's gigantic. It doesn't feel like a suit. Check that out. Ugh.
Come on! Leave me! Do not try.
Yeah. It's almost like he wants to die though. I mean I suppose in theory standing up to Godzilla as your death is probably noble, but it seems kinda needless.
Yeah, he even put his claws in the building. Yeah. Like to just be like, you know, who's the fucking king? Yep, me. Yeah. That's the most find out you'll ever get from fucking around. Fucking around, yeah.
That's why he's the king of all monsters, goddammit. Fucking A. King of monsters. I love that. It's so badass. He just shreds the whole building to prove a point.
This is a very vindictive Godzilla in this fran this version of the Don't wake him up. It's not that hard. Let him be. Let him be. Don't wake him up.
That's why the people in Rome need to let him sleep in that Coliseum in the American versions. That's right. That's his that's his Godzilla bed. That's where he takes naps. Take snaps. Let him be. Godzilla. Here we go. He's inside of each of us. Yep. And ever since.
We tried to destroy him.
This is supposed to be the final point, you know, that we're all trying to make about living with a commentary as he goes and thrashes the city.
He saves he saves the city from being thrashed by a spaceship. Because if anybody's gonna do it, it's gonna be Godzilla. Right, so that he can go and thrash it. I love this with all of the extra signage that's lit up and everything. So bright.
Here we go.
There it is.
There's some version of that so then why does he keep destroying the city? Well don't you hate the city a little bit?
I mean look at that, he's inside of all of us, and then he just lights the place on fire. That's beautiful, look at that.
Wonderful.
That was my other decision I was thinking about doing is Godzilla walking in through a city on fire. Oh yeah. But I've seen that a lot in tattoos too. Yeah. Yeah.
Good on you folks. How much is he protecting them if he's lighting them all on fire?
Um I think he's thinning the herb.
There you go. It's a conservation technique like where you burn something so that you can keep the forest fire from burning further. That's uh where all the rich people went and hid, so he just lit them all up.
No, Godzilla, burn the financial district and free the people of their burdens. Maybe that is. That's a financial district. Yeah, very good on you. Alright, so we got about three or four minutes left. So I'm gonna just let it uh go out. We're gonna let it ride, huh? Yeah. Kick the fuck out of
This week and uh make it your bitch, folks.
I told you there wouldn't be. I'm okay. I I didn't I w I didn't know. You get mixed messages from
By mixed messages you mean I kept saying no there will not be a turtle. Why is there a turtle getting ready to pop up? Why do you keep talking about it? There will not be a turtle, I promise. I better not see a fucking turtle.
I will not see a fucking turtle.
Why am I still recording us? I don't know, but we're talking about turtles. Everybody's so fucking done with us. Uh huh. They should be.