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We review the Gary Payton strain from Powerzzzup Genetics — giggly, euphoric, and named after The Glove — then break down Congress delaying the federal hemp-derived THC ban, sparing Delta-8 gummies and THC seltzers as the bill heads to Trump's desk.
This week: a strain review of Gary Payton — the balanced hybrid named after the NBA Hall of Famer — plus the Washington cliffhanger that almost pulled every hemp-derived THC seltzer and gummy off the shelves.
In this episode:
Sources:
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Daisy: —and I'm telling you, I opened the jar and my dog LEFT the room.
Astoria: Your dog left the room?
Daisy: Astoria, she got up, she made eye contact, and she walked out. Like she had somewhere to be.
Astoria: Okay that's not a review, that's a restraining order.
Daisy: It was Gary Payton. The strain. Not the basketball player.
Astoria: I was gonna say. I was like, did Gary Payton come to your apartment.
Daisy: "Hey, it's The Glove, let me in, I brought snacks."
Astoria: Wait, is it actually named after him though?
Daisy: Yes! Yes. Powerzzzup Genetics. It's Snowman crossed with The Y, and they named it after Gary Payton, the Sonics point guard, Hall of Famer, guy who trash-talked people until they cried.
Astoria: Huh. And what's it supposed to do to you?
Daisy: Okay so Leafly has it as a balanced hybrid. Not a knockout, not a racehorse. People report giggly, relaxed, euphoric. They literally use the phrase "even-keeled experience."
Astoria: Even-keeled. Named after Gary Payton.
Daisy: I KNOW.
Astoria: The most un-even-keeled man in professional sports history.
Daisy: Right? The man was NOT even-keeled. He was famously... keeled.
Astoria: He was fully keeled.
Daisy: But here's the thing, and this is my hot take, the terpenes actually check out. Because it's chatty but chill. It's a strain that makes you WANT to talk. Which is on brand.
Astoria: Okay that's fair. A weed that makes you run your mouth in a good-natured way. That IS Gary Payton.
Daisy: That's The Glove.
Astoria: So back up. Your dog left the room.
Daisy: My dog left the room. Because I opened the jar and I went, "OH." Out loud. In an empty apartment. To no one.
Astoria: You scared her with your enthusiasm.
Daisy: I scared her with my enthusiasm for a jar.
Astoria: Daisy.
Daisy: I know.
Astoria: You're a grown woman.
Daisy: I'm a grown woman who yells at cannabis.
Astoria: Okay and then what, you smoked it, and did the even-keeled thing happen or did you become Gary Payton?
Daisy: So this is where I have to be honest. I don't actually know what a normal hybrid is supposed to feel like anymore.
Astoria: What do you mean.
Daisy: Like. I've been smoking for so long that "balanced" doesn't register. Someone hands me a balanced hybrid and I'm like, is this doing anything, is this a placebo, am I dead.
Astoria: Oh no, the tragedy of the seasoned professional.
Daisy: I'm serious! I don't have a control group anymore. My baseline is broken.
Astoria: So you can't even tell us if it worked.
Daisy: I can tell you I giggled. I can tell you I ate a sleeve of Ritz crackers. I can tell you I texted my mother, which I never do sober.
Astoria: Wait, wait, what did you text your mom.
Daisy: I texted her, "you were right about the crockpot."
Astoria: What?
Daisy: I don't know! I don't know what it means! I don't own a crockpot! She hasn't responded!
Astoria: Oh my god she's staring at that text right now trying to figure out if you're okay.
Daisy: She's gonna call my sister. My sister's gonna have to do a wellness check.
Astoria: Because of Gary Payton.
Daisy: Because of a balanced hybrid.
Astoria: Okay okay okay, so, giggly, relaxed, euphoric. Check, check, check. It's on the label. It did what it said.
Daisy: It did what it said. Which, honestly? Refreshing.
Astoria: That IS refreshing. Because half the time you buy something and it says "creative energizing daytime" and you wake up nine hours later with a pizza box on your chest.
Daisy: "Creative and energizing." I made a pizza appear. That's creative.
Astoria: You manifested a pizza.
Daisy: I manifested a pizza. That's a daytime strain.
Astoria: Okay so the rec is, if you can find it, Gary Payton, it's a real strain, it's not made up, it's out there in dispensaries, and it does the thing.
Daisy: It does the thing. And say his name out loud when you light it. Show some respect.
Astoria: "For Gary."
Daisy: For Gary.
Astoria: Okay. Speaking of respect. Or lack thereof.
Daisy: Uh oh.
Astoria: Did you see what happened in Washington this week?
Daisy: Astoria I'm gonna be honest with you, I have been actively not looking at the news.
Astoria: Okay well, buckle up, because this one is actually about your fridge.
Daisy: My fridge?
Astoria: Your THC seltzer, specifically.
Daisy: Not my little cans.
Astoria: Your little cans almost got illegal-ed this week.
Daisy: WHAT.
Astoria: So, September 2nd, the House passed the funding bill the Senate had already passed, and tucked inside it was language to delay the federal ban on hemp-derived THC products. It's on Trump's desk to sign.
Daisy: Wait. Delay the ban. So there WAS gonna be a ban.
Astoria: There was gonna be a ban. Without this delay, all the Delta-8, all the hemp-derived THC gummies, all the seltzers, all the hemp beverages, gone. Federally.
Daisy: Hold on. Gone gone? Like, gas station gummies gone?
Astoria: Gas station gummies. Liquor store seltzers. All of it. Poof.
Daisy: Okay I need a second.
Astoria: Take a second.
Daisy: Not the little cans.
Astoria: I know. I know.
Daisy: Okay wait, but state-legal weed, that's fine? Dispensary weed?
Astoria: Totally untouched. This is not about dispensary cannabis at all. This fight is specifically about the hemp-derived THC loophole. The stuff that got legal-ish because of how hemp was defined a few years back.
Daisy: The farm bill loophole.
Astoria: Yeah, that whole thing. So this is only about that lane.
Daisy: Okay. Okay. So Congress SAVED the seltzer.
Astoria: Congress delayed the funeral.
Daisy: "Delayed the funeral." Very grim.
Astoria: And here's the thing, and this is my hot take, Daisy. They did not save it because they love it.
Daisy: No?
Astoria: They saved it because they realized if they yanked it off the shelves overnight, they were gonna nuke a multi-billion-dollar category they don't understand yet. Every gas station, every liquor store, every corner beverage cooler.
Daisy: Right, like the whole shelf just... disappears.
Astoria: The whole shelf. And a bunch of small businesses go with it. So they were like, okay okay, we're gonna delay this so we can figure out how to actually regulate it instead of just banning it.
Daisy: So the vibe now is regulate, not ban?
Astoria: The vibe now is regulate. The conversation has officially shifted. Lawmakers are openly talking about HOW to regulate hemp THC, not IF to ban it.
Daisy: That's actually a huge shift.
Astoria: It's a huge shift. It's the whole ballgame.
Daisy: Wait so I have a dumb question.
Astoria: There are no dumb questions.
Daisy: There are, I ask them constantly.
Astoria: Fair.
Daisy: What's the difference between the hemp seltzer and the dispensary drink. Chemically. Like in my mouth.
Astoria: Okay so, like, functionally, at the mouth level, it can be very similar. It's the sourcing and the legal category that's different. One comes from a plant classified as hemp under federal law, one comes from a plant classified as marijuana.
Daisy: Same plant, different paperwork.
Astoria: Basically same plant, different paperwork.
Daisy: That is so stupid.
Astoria: It's very stupid! And that's kind of the whole issue! The paperwork is doing a LOT of work in this fight.
Daisy: Okay but push back on me for a second.
Astoria: Okay.
Daisy: Isn't it fair to want some rules around this stuff? Like, I've seen the packaging on some of these gas station gummies. They look like fruit snacks. A kid could grab one.
Astoria: Yeah no, I'll push back on you a different way actually. I don't think anyone serious is arguing against ANY rules. Like, the "regulate it" camp includes people who want real rules. Age gating, dosing, labels that don't look like a Sour Patch Kids box.
Daisy: Right.
Astoria: The fight was really between "ban the whole category" and "regulate the category." And regulate won. For now.
Daisy: For now.
Astoria: For now. It's a delay. Congress still has to actually write the framework.
Daisy: Which they are famously good at doing quickly.
Astoria: Oh yeah. Congress, known for their swift decisive action on emerging industries.
Daisy: Their nimble grasp of new technology.
Astoria: Their deep familiarity with what young people are drinking on a Thursday.
Daisy: Okay so who was the villain of this story. There's always a villain.
Astoria: OH. Okay. So there's this congressman, Andy Harris, Republican from Maryland, he is the loudest anti-cannabis voice in the House.
Daisy: Loudest as in?
Astoria: Loudest as in, this is his THING. He hates it. He hates all of it. He especially hated the delay.
Daisy: Okay.
Astoria: So in protest, he tried to block House leadership's agenda. Like, threw a whole procedural tantrum on the floor.
Daisy: How'd that go for him.
Astoria: Oh, he won. Big victory. Named a stadium after him.
Daisy: He lost.
Astoria: He lost. He lost publicly. He lost specifically because he was mad about the hemp thing. And now the delay is on the President's desk.
Daisy: That is delicious.
Astoria: It's really good.
Daisy: A grown congressman throwing a fit about seltzers.
Astoria: About seltzers.
Daisy: It's beautiful.
Astoria: And it's not the first time this has come up, by the way. Back in August the Senate had already voted to delay the ban, this has been a slow-rolling summer cliffhanger. The House vote was just the final beat.
Daisy: So all summer, in the background, my little cans have been in danger.
Astoria: Your little cans have been in mortal peril and you had no idea.
Daisy: I've been drinking them like everything's fine!
Astoria: You've been living in blissful ignorance.
Daisy: Meanwhile in D.C.
Astoria: Meanwhile in D.C., Andy Harris is red in the face.
Daisy: Okay wait, one more push back on me.
Astoria: Go.
Daisy: Isn't there something a LITTLE weird about how much of the hemp beverage industry is just... a legal workaround? Like, the whole reason it exists at the gas station is because of a technicality.
Astoria: Yeah but Daisy that's like most of American commerce.
Daisy: Fair.
Astoria: Everything you buy is somebody's clever legal reading of something. That's not a reason to ban it, that's a reason to write better law.
Daisy: That's a good point.
Astoria: Thank you.
Daisy: You're smart.
Astoria: I know.
Astoria: So the takeaway, if we're doing a takeaway.
Daisy: Let's do a takeaway.
Astoria: The takeaway is: if you like your hemp seltzer, it's still legal, it just got a stay of execution, and the real fight now is about HOW it gets regulated, not IF it exists. So pay attention to what your state does, because state stuff is gonna matter here.
Daisy: That is a very responsible takeaway.
Astoria: Thank you.
Daisy: My takeaway is try Gary Payton and text your mother something confusing.
Astoria: Those are our two pieces of advice.
Daisy: One from each of us.
Astoria: Balanced. Even-keeled, one might say.
Daisy: A balanced hybrid podcast.
Astoria: We ARE a balanced hybrid podcast.
Daisy: Snowman crossed with The Y.
Astoria: You're Snowman.
Daisy: I'm SO Snowman.
Astoria: Okay we gotta go.
Daisy: We gotta go. Alright, that was way too fun.
Astoria: If you want more of this, more strain talk, more news, more of us yelling at each other about hemp policy...
Daisy: Which you do.
Astoria: Which you do, head to mncannabishub dot com. Everything lives there.
Daisy: Mncannabishub dot com. Say it with your chest.
Astoria: Bye Gary.
Daisy: Bye Gary. Sorry about your strain being chill.
Astoria: Bye everybody.
Daisy: Bye!
A weekly Minneapolis lifestyle podcast for the 90s-baby mid-30s crowd. Concerts, restaurants, art fairs, Mystic Lake shows, what's actually good in MPLS this week — plus a strain review, a chaotic story, and a hot take you didn't ask for. Sponsored by mncannabishub.com, mplsveganhub.com, Dr. Bronson at Uptown Core (uptowncore.com), and Quiet Coyote (quietcoyotemn.com).