Joe: What we take to be a self is tentative, fictitious,
constructed by clinging, temporary
identification with some parts of experience.
Self arises, solidifying itself, like ice
floating in water.
Ice is actually made of the same substance as water.
Identification
and clinging harden the water into ice.
In a similar way, we sense ourself as
separate.â t
This realization that the separate self is an illusion must be one of the most useful
things I've ever learned.
I spent most of my life I was a separate self-
contained unit and I felt disconnected from those around me.
From the universe as a
whole.
But where exactly is this seat of the self?
Where's the little Joe who's up there
in my head, directing everything?
Where is the seat of attention?
If I look for myself,
where do I find myself?
I find a constant flow of sense data, sights, sounds, smells, temperature.
I find thoughts.
But who are these thoughts occurring to?
As Kornfield says, identification and clinging harden the water into ice.
The
closest thing I can find to a separate self is this contraction
in my chest that seems to
create some kind of locus in time and space.
But actually I am in no way separate
from the flow.
This has been seen through for me in meditation.
What I find in
meditation, if I have a good session, is I drop into a much larger, possibly
infinite, ocean of awake awareness.
Which mostly has a fairly neutral quality, but there's
actually a lovingness there.
A gentle sense of And I find this encouraging to
say the least.
Of course, I have a social self and I need to function.
And go to work and perform my
roles in society.
But there's no need to constantly reify the separate self, this particle, somehow
split off from the rest of the universe.
What I actually find is an openness, a
sort of infinite openness, where I used to imagine my separate self to be.
Jack Kornfield talks about ice and water.
heard it talked about in terms of a
wave.
A wave that somehow thinks it's separate from the ocean.
Or a Sunbeam
that's forgotten it's part of the sun.
I'm a part of something much bigger than I always
took myself to be.
But it's also something incredibly simple.
It's just the present
moment.
I'm not separate to you who's reading this.
I really am just part of this flow.
I only care about this because I guess I've always just wanted to know the truth.
I
guess I've always suffered feeling so separate from things around me.
I's a great
relief when I realize and drop into the fact that I'm this open, loving awareness.
And I
can then accept everything just exactly the way it is in the present moment.
After all, what other choice, do I really have?
What did we take to be yourself?
Is.
Start again.
What did we take to be itself?
Is the tentative fictitious.
Start again.
That we take to be yourself is tentative.
Fictitious.
Constructed by cleaning.
Uh, temporary identification with some parts of experience.
Self arises, solidifying itself.
Like ice floating in water.
Ice is actually made of the same substances water.
Identification in clinging harden, the water into us.
In a similar way.
We sent ourselves as separate.
We sent ourself a separate.
That's Jack.
Kornfield the wise heart.
This revelation.
For me that.
The separate self.
Is an illusion.
Uh, persistent illusion that I've had.
My whole life until quite recently.
He's maybe the most important thing I've ever learned.
And I learned it through experimentation.
Closing my eyes and looking for the state of attention.
Looking for what's looking.
Is there a little.
Mini Joe.
Up there in my head.
Controlling labors.
I'm moving my body around.
And making me act in the world.
If I look to find myself my separate self.
Where exactly is it located?
I've seen other writers use this metaphor of like ice in water.
I've also seen the metaphor of a wave.
In the ocean.
But our lady that imagined itself.
To be separate.
Or a bane of sunlight that plays itself to be completely separate from the sun.
I take this to mean that.
There's only one entity.
And I'm a part of it.
And what I actually am is an open awareness.
Experiencing a whole bunch of sense data.
In the present moment.
But what I'm not.
Is something separated off.
Somehow apart from.
From you, who's listening to this.
Well from anything else in the universe.
What I experienced.
In meditation.
Is that I am loving awareness.
I'm not on part of this huge ocean of consciousness.
Which mostly has a pretty neutral feel to it.
But there is a very subtle.
Well,
And there's a very subtle.
Kindness to this ocean of awareness.
Which I am.
That's a wonderful.
Thing to connect with.
And it's a great relief.
And this identification and clean.
That Jack Kornfield talks about that hardens mortar into ice.
That's where most of my pain in life comes from.
Well, I can feel.
I'm not chest.
It's like a little.
Hook.
That you could almost.
Hook something on to.
That is the seat of my.
Clinging clenching.
Contraction.
Which tells me it's a separate self.
And what I'm working on.
Is releasing that.
Letting go of that hook.
And just resting in open.
Awareness in the present moment.
And accepting things.
Exactly as they are.
Because what are the choice?
Do I really have.