WEBVTT 00:00:07.530 --> 00:00:10.320 Jim Conrad: Welcome to the Conovision Podcast, episode eight. 00:00:10.950 --> 00:00:17.400 I am Jim Conrad, AKA Cono, and in the spirit of storytelling, we 00:00:17.400 --> 00:00:22.380 will hear the story of Connection Lab, ConnectionLaboratory.com, with 00:00:22.380 --> 00:00:28.065 founder Russ Hamilton, and how the story of human to human engagement 00:00:28.335 --> 00:00:32.025 is so crucially important to the survival of the human species. 00:00:32.595 --> 00:00:33.705 That's later. 00:00:34.125 --> 00:00:40.394 But first, a story about why stories, our stories, matter. 00:00:53.490 --> 00:00:58.140 Listening to stories, and telling them, helped our ancestors 00:00:58.140 --> 00:01:02.220 to live humanly, to be human. 00:01:03.060 --> 00:01:11.580 But somewhere along the way, our ability to tell and to listen to stories was lost. 00:01:12.960 --> 00:01:20.759 And as life speeded up, as the possibility of both communication and annihilation 00:01:21.300 --> 00:01:28.289 became ever more instantaneous, people came to have less tolerance 00:01:28.559 --> 00:01:31.889 for that, which comes only over time. 00:01:33.750 --> 00:01:37.710 The demand for perfection and the craving for evermore control over 00:01:37.710 --> 00:01:44.490 a world that paradoxically seemed evermore out of control, essentially 00:01:44.490 --> 00:01:47.729 bred impatience with story. 00:01:48.960 --> 00:01:55.050 As time went by, the art of storytelling fell by the wayside, and those who 00:01:55.050 --> 00:02:03.330 went before us gradually lost part of what had been the human heritage, the 00:02:03.330 --> 00:02:06.330 ability to ask the most basic questions. 00:02:08.585 --> 00:02:14.310 Mythologist Joseph Campbell observed one of our problems today is that we are not 00:02:14.310 --> 00:02:20.445 well acquainted with the literature of the spirit, we're more interested in the news 00:02:20.445 --> 00:02:22.845 of the day and the problems of the hour. 00:02:25.785 --> 00:02:30.765 Thus distracted, we no longer listen to those who speak of the 00:02:30.765 --> 00:02:35.025 eternal values that have to do with the centering of our lives. 00:02:38.519 --> 00:02:43.440 The news of the day and the problems of the hour, we have inherited a world 00:02:43.440 --> 00:02:46.320 that has lost all real sense of time. 00:02:47.190 --> 00:02:49.859 Our most common complaint is that we have no time. 00:02:50.880 --> 00:02:55.140 We moderns are problem solvers, but the demand for answers, 00:02:55.140 --> 00:03:02.010 crowds out patience, and perhaps especially patience with mystery. 00:03:04.290 --> 00:03:10.080 And that which we cannot control, we deny our own ambivalences, searching 00:03:10.080 --> 00:03:15.780 for answers to our most anguished questions in technique, hoping to find 00:03:15.780 --> 00:03:18.600 an ultimate healing in technology. 00:03:20.730 --> 00:03:27.240 But feelings of dislocation, isolation, and of off centeredness persist as 00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:29.700 they always do, as they always have. 00:03:33.450 --> 00:03:37.950 What do we do with this confusion, this pain? 00:03:38.460 --> 00:03:44.970 How do we understand that inevitable part of life captured in the term angst, 00:03:46.230 --> 00:03:51.450 the anxiety and anguish that seem an essential part of being alive today? 00:03:53.460 --> 00:03:55.829 Tradition suggests listen. 00:03:56.610 --> 00:03:57.630 Listen to stories. 00:03:58.965 --> 00:04:05.685 For spirituality itself is conveyed by stories which use words in ways 00:04:05.685 --> 00:04:11.535 that go beyond words, to speak what's called the language of the heart. 00:04:13.305 --> 00:04:18.975 A spirituality of not having all the answers, stories convey the mystery and 00:04:18.975 --> 00:04:24.285 the miracle, the adventure of being alive. 00:04:53.955 --> 00:04:56.985 I am Jim Conrad, joined by Russ Hamilton. 00:04:57.255 --> 00:04:58.155 Hello, Russ. 00:04:58.185 --> 00:04:58.785 Russ Hamilton: Hello, Jim. 00:04:58.935 --> 00:05:01.995 Jim Conrad: You have a company called Connection Lab. 00:05:02.025 --> 00:05:02.505 Russ Hamilton: I do. 00:05:02.625 --> 00:05:06.285 Jim Conrad: Gimme a thumbnail sketch of what Connection Lab does. 00:05:06.465 --> 00:05:10.575 Russ Hamilton: Connection Lab provides workshops and executive coaching for 00:05:10.695 --> 00:05:14.925 um, organizations, individuals that want to get better at communication, 00:05:14.925 --> 00:05:16.755 presentation, and leadership development. 00:05:17.295 --> 00:05:22.185 It is a methodology that can save your business, it can save your 00:05:22.185 --> 00:05:23.805 community, and it can save the world. 00:05:24.555 --> 00:05:29.565 Jim Conrad: How important in business is communication? 00:05:29.655 --> 00:05:30.645 Russ Hamilton: What's the scale? 00:05:30.945 --> 00:05:33.585 Jim Conrad: I'd have to answer that question by asking you the same question. 00:05:33.585 --> 00:05:33.945 Russ Hamilton: Yeah. 00:05:34.335 --> 00:05:38.565 So if we say one to 10, how important is communication in helping a 00:05:38.565 --> 00:05:41.295 business fulfill its potential? 00:05:41.295 --> 00:05:41.895 Jim Conrad: Thrive. 00:05:41.895 --> 00:05:45.705 Russ Hamilton: Thrive, I would say 9.8. 00:05:46.094 --> 00:05:51.585 Before it's a business crisis, before it's a healthcare crisis, before it's a climate 00:05:51.585 --> 00:05:52.945 crisis, it's a communication crisis. 00:05:53.760 --> 00:05:58.300 Jim Conrad: So companies that recognize this try to then embody or 00:05:58.320 --> 00:06:05.250 teach these skills to their workers, but is that relationship changing 00:06:05.250 --> 00:06:10.469 between employer and employee in the new technological marketplace? 00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:11.250 Russ Hamilton: Constantly. 00:06:11.250 --> 00:06:15.000 First of all, it's a new technological marketplace every 15 minutes, 00:06:15.150 --> 00:06:18.100 so it's constantly changing. 00:06:18.100 --> 00:06:22.210 We joke in our workshops and say, well, at least that's the last change. 00:06:22.240 --> 00:06:23.800 Oh, thank goodness. 00:06:23.800 --> 00:06:24.340 Change. 00:06:24.340 --> 00:06:25.810 No more changes. 00:06:25.810 --> 00:06:26.420 That's the last. 00:06:26.440 --> 00:06:27.670 Oh, hang on, I'm getting a text. 00:06:27.700 --> 00:06:28.840 Oh, there's a new change. 00:06:28.900 --> 00:06:29.410 Oh crap. 00:06:29.800 --> 00:06:31.150 It's constantly changing. 00:06:31.420 --> 00:06:32.320 Jim Conrad: And that's stressful. 00:06:32.410 --> 00:06:32.860 Russ Hamilton: Totally. 00:06:32.875 --> 00:06:33.955 Very stressful. 00:06:34.075 --> 00:06:35.245 Again, on a scale. 00:06:35.575 --> 00:06:40.705 Some companies are very good at adapting, so they're very good at self-diagnosis. 00:06:40.705 --> 00:06:43.525 They're very, you know, but those are very small companies. 00:06:43.525 --> 00:06:47.245 Big ones really struggle with adaptation and flexibility. 00:06:47.275 --> 00:06:51.325 They struggle with, uh, you know, adopting new technologies. 00:06:51.325 --> 00:06:54.325 They struggle with adopting new cultures. 00:06:54.385 --> 00:06:56.645 Um, you know, mergers and acquisitions. 00:06:56.645 --> 00:06:59.015 There's a new company that we're bringing in that's bringing a whole 00:06:59.015 --> 00:07:03.275 new culture, and while we want all the benefits of that organization, we're 00:07:03.275 --> 00:07:05.465 also bringing their cultural baggage. 00:07:05.495 --> 00:07:10.445 And sometimes that can infect a whole part of our organization or like most of it. 00:07:10.785 --> 00:07:15.705 So it's extremely dangerous for some companies to have poor self-awareness 00:07:15.705 --> 00:07:19.455 and have poor self-diagnosis skills and to kind of reject that 00:07:19.455 --> 00:07:22.275 we're in a river that's constantly changing every few minutes. 00:07:22.425 --> 00:07:25.385 'Cause there are companies that would prefer just to reject that that's true. 00:07:25.915 --> 00:07:28.245 And just focus on what we control and what we're good at. 00:07:28.425 --> 00:07:30.910 And those companies are short-lived and struggle. 00:07:31.505 --> 00:07:36.664 Jim Conrad: What is the spark in a CEO's brain when he decides or what, 00:07:36.724 --> 00:07:38.675 what is the information that he gets? 00:07:38.794 --> 00:07:40.175 Is it from a consultant? 00:07:40.235 --> 00:07:44.914 Is it from internal diagnostics to say, okay, we need to hire Russ 00:07:44.914 --> 00:07:49.235 Hamilton and bring him in with his connection lab methodology because 00:07:50.159 --> 00:07:52.835 we're obviously not communicating. 00:07:52.895 --> 00:07:55.985 And how does that manifest itself in, let's say, the day-to-day 00:07:55.985 --> 00:07:57.245 operations of any company? 00:07:57.365 --> 00:08:00.305 Russ Hamilton: A company that doesn't communicate well often has a very 00:08:00.305 --> 00:08:05.555 toxic culture, very protective, very siloed, very internally competitive. 00:08:05.585 --> 00:08:10.175 Dominant personalities tend to suppress introverts and quieter personalities. 00:08:10.265 --> 00:08:13.720 Dominant personalities identify if the company is safe or not. 00:08:14.020 --> 00:08:16.870 The loudest person in the room gets to determine if the company 00:08:16.870 --> 00:08:17.979 is safe to communicate in. 00:08:18.130 --> 00:08:18.310 Jim Conrad: Right. 00:08:18.400 --> 00:08:19.330 Russ Hamilton: Of course it's safe. 00:08:19.330 --> 00:08:20.710 Why wouldn't you think it's safe? 00:08:20.710 --> 00:08:22.150 Who doesn't think it's safe? 00:08:22.359 --> 00:08:25.359 And of course, everybody who's an introvert and doesn't feel safe is 00:08:25.359 --> 00:08:30.010 gonna sit on their hands and not gonna communicate 'cause they don't feel safe. 00:08:30.219 --> 00:08:35.684 So, we want to be careful not to generalize CEOs because they are as 00:08:35.684 --> 00:08:38.025 varied as any other kinds of human beings. 00:08:38.414 --> 00:08:42.855 So this idea that a CEO is suddenly, you know, its own unique thing, I 00:08:42.855 --> 00:08:44.385 wanna be careful not to generalize. 00:08:44.715 --> 00:08:47.805 Jim Conrad: Because some of those CEOs are brought in from other 00:08:48.345 --> 00:08:50.475 companies with other cultures. 00:08:50.564 --> 00:08:50.805 Russ Hamilton: Yep. 00:08:51.015 --> 00:08:54.915 Jim Conrad: And now they either try to force their culture, what they've 00:08:54.915 --> 00:08:59.115 learned, upon this new organization that they're running, and they can 00:08:59.115 --> 00:09:01.665 do that because they're the CEO. 00:09:01.874 --> 00:09:06.349 Or they have to try to adapt to whatever the culture that exists in that company. 00:09:06.439 --> 00:09:09.949 Now, usually if they're brought in, that company isn't, as a new CEO, that company 00:09:09.949 --> 00:09:13.370 isn't doing well, and so they have to try to turn things around, quote unquote. 00:09:13.400 --> 00:09:14.449 Russ Hamilton: That's one story. 00:09:14.540 --> 00:09:17.810 Another story is the company has grown out of the founder. 00:09:17.959 --> 00:09:21.709 That in fact it's been very, very successful and the founder has helped 00:09:21.709 --> 00:09:27.290 it go from four employees to a thousand, which is overwhelming for this person who 00:09:27.290 --> 00:09:32.860 is great at a technology or a service, and has no experience organizing a 00:09:32.860 --> 00:09:37.750 board, organizing funding, organizing a variety of finance, organizing 00:09:37.750 --> 00:09:41.980 shareholders, IPO, um, I mean, this person has no experience with that. 00:09:41.980 --> 00:09:45.670 And so the existing board says, look, you've done great and we're gonna find a 00:09:45.670 --> 00:09:50.025 role for you, but you are not qualified to bring this organization to the next level. 00:09:50.295 --> 00:09:52.845 Would you like to see it fulfill its potential? 00:09:53.204 --> 00:09:56.055 And that CEO, that man or that woman, is inevitably, you know, 00:09:56.055 --> 00:09:59.115 gonna say yes because this is great, but it's also very hard to let go. 00:09:59.145 --> 00:09:59.265 Yeah. 00:09:59.265 --> 00:10:03.765 I've seen a lot of varied experiences in the C-Suite. 00:10:03.915 --> 00:10:07.185 Jim Conrad: Sometimes people don't know if they built, especially if they built 00:10:07.185 --> 00:10:08.954 a company, they don't wanna let go. 00:10:10.090 --> 00:10:13.750 Because it's so intrinsically tied to who they are. 00:10:13.780 --> 00:10:14.530 Russ Hamilton: Their identity. 00:10:14.590 --> 00:10:14.890 Jim Conrad: Yeah. 00:10:15.070 --> 00:10:18.640 Russ Hamilton: It can be an excruciating process to convince or 00:10:18.640 --> 00:10:22.960 otherwise remove a founder because they are now harming their company. 00:10:23.080 --> 00:10:25.780 And sometimes the founder is right when they put on the brakes and 00:10:25.780 --> 00:10:27.790 say, we don't want another CEO here. 00:10:27.790 --> 00:10:31.780 We don't want another C-suite because it is a culture based organization 00:10:31.780 --> 00:10:35.650 and I am the magnet for that culture, and they can be right. 00:10:35.950 --> 00:10:38.110 Getting a new CEO is extremely dangerous. 00:10:38.110 --> 00:10:42.445 Have you seen, I forget the film, the name of it, but it's basically the 00:10:42.445 --> 00:10:45.104 story of Apple, Steve Jobs, and the CEO. 00:10:45.574 --> 00:10:49.675 And you know, they bring in the, the Pepsi guy, you know, the CEO of Pepsi 00:10:49.675 --> 00:10:52.465 to come and take over Apple, and he doesn't understand the product. 00:10:52.525 --> 00:10:55.915 You know, he's trying to take all the money from the older computer and 00:10:55.915 --> 00:10:58.945 put it in all these new products, and they don't want to invest in the thing 00:10:58.945 --> 00:10:59.800 that's making them the most money. 00:11:00.130 --> 00:11:01.780 And Jobs gets removed. 00:11:01.780 --> 00:11:04.510 And of course, you know, that's, that's a pretty delicate story. 00:11:04.510 --> 00:11:07.400 But so are all these stories are enormously sophisticated 00:11:07.400 --> 00:11:10.200 and packed with nuance. 00:11:10.330 --> 00:11:14.770 And to your earlier question, the problem is usually communication, 00:11:14.980 --> 00:11:17.240 which can take a while to unpack. 00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:19.100 What does that mean, communication? 00:11:19.100 --> 00:11:23.390 Because it is a galaxy of definitions and predispositions. 00:11:23.450 --> 00:11:28.520 I've been studying epistemology and linguistics as part of a requirement 00:11:28.520 --> 00:11:30.380 to really understand what's going on. 00:11:30.830 --> 00:11:35.150 And did you know that there were 6,000 languages in human history? 00:11:35.155 --> 00:11:39.065 There have been 6,000 languages recorded in human history. 00:11:39.080 --> 00:11:44.410 And of those 6,000 languages, 5,000 of them are impenetrable to the other. 00:11:45.275 --> 00:11:51.305 I've been caught in a winter storm in Magadan Russia, Northeastern Russia, 00:11:51.905 --> 00:11:54.245 and man, there's no Spanish there. 00:11:54.245 --> 00:11:58.085 There's no like Latin based languages. 00:11:58.085 --> 00:12:00.875 There's no Scandinavian, Germanic English. 00:12:00.875 --> 00:12:02.825 You know that, you are looking at symbols. 00:12:04.400 --> 00:12:06.380 You have no idea what they mean. 00:12:06.410 --> 00:12:07.520 Jim Conrad: Only the locals know. 00:12:07.520 --> 00:12:09.290 Russ Hamilton: Only, and they look at you like, why are you 00:12:09.290 --> 00:12:10.760 standing in eight feet of snow? 00:12:10.760 --> 00:12:12.589 And it's like, well, we're trying to find a restaurant. 00:12:12.709 --> 00:12:16.490 But you can't have that conversation 'cause nothing I'm saying is 00:12:16.490 --> 00:12:18.110 penetrable to the people hearing it. 00:12:18.500 --> 00:12:21.470 Jim Conrad: Now that speaks to what's happening today, where 00:12:21.650 --> 00:12:26.240 the universal language is quickly becoming our mother tongue, English. 00:12:26.880 --> 00:12:29.730 Russ Hamilton: Yeah, it's still a dominant business language. 00:12:29.730 --> 00:12:33.330 It's still the language that pilots use in pretty much every 00:12:33.330 --> 00:12:34.740 commercial airline in the world. 00:12:34.740 --> 00:12:35.670 They use English. 00:12:35.910 --> 00:12:39.450 It's the language most often in finance, but language is 00:12:39.450 --> 00:12:40.950 also used to separate people. 00:12:40.950 --> 00:12:44.265 Think of twins in the house, kids that are born together. 00:12:45.135 --> 00:12:47.355 They suddenly come up with their own language, right? 00:12:47.355 --> 00:12:51.405 They can whisper and hum and talk and use hand signals, and the rest of the family 00:12:51.405 --> 00:12:53.475 has no idea what they're talking about. 00:12:53.475 --> 00:12:55.245 And they are pretty good with that. 00:12:55.305 --> 00:12:57.824 They're pretty good with the fact that nobody can understand it. 00:12:58.064 --> 00:13:02.699 So language becomes a way to separate ourselves from people 00:13:02.699 --> 00:13:05.400 and isolate, and in a way elevate. 00:13:05.459 --> 00:13:10.920 We are better than you and now we're into a territory that is worth exploring 00:13:10.920 --> 00:13:15.510 to say, how is this an impediment to people around the world communicating? 00:13:16.050 --> 00:13:19.620 Jim Conrad: How is language and tribalism, is language part of tribalism? 00:13:19.650 --> 00:13:21.290 Russ Hamilton: I feel like that's what we're describing. 00:13:21.970 --> 00:13:23.625 I think language is self-developed. 00:13:23.685 --> 00:13:26.625 It's interesting, there's a couple of schools of thought around how, 'cause 00:13:26.625 --> 00:13:30.705 we don't know, communication is one of the great mysteries of science. 00:13:30.705 --> 00:13:34.515 We don't know who was the first person to actually use language. 00:13:34.515 --> 00:13:38.295 We don't, you know, we've seen artwork on the walls in France and Africa, 00:13:38.805 --> 00:13:41.615 um, but we don't know how it began. 00:13:42.125 --> 00:13:44.880 There's the Noam Chomsky argument that says, one day one 00:13:44.880 --> 00:13:46.199 person woke up and could do it. 00:13:46.439 --> 00:13:49.740 There's also the more anthropological background, which is, 00:13:49.800 --> 00:13:50.850 Jim Conrad: Over time. 00:13:50.939 --> 00:13:52.319 Russ Hamilton: Over time, it was developed. 00:13:52.319 --> 00:13:55.580 Jim Conrad: Our guttural grunts and squawks and squeaks started to 00:13:55.580 --> 00:13:58.950 have different meanings if we link them together in some way or shape. 00:13:58.950 --> 00:13:59.400 Russ Hamilton: That's right. 00:13:59.425 --> 00:14:03.450 And anthropologically, you know, we would kind of as chimpanzees 00:14:03.450 --> 00:14:05.040 kind of walk on all fours. 00:14:05.220 --> 00:14:08.010 And then we started to walk upright which left our hands free to 00:14:08.010 --> 00:14:11.610 communicate, which was a whole new thing when we started to stand upright. 00:14:11.700 --> 00:14:11.880 Jim Conrad: Yep. 00:14:12.210 --> 00:14:15.360 Russ Hamilton: And then when we weren't working as hard to do things, our facial 00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:16.800 expressions started to get involved. 00:14:16.800 --> 00:14:19.869 And so the grunts with facial and with hands started to 00:14:19.900 --> 00:14:21.579 offer a communication source. 00:14:21.640 --> 00:14:22.780 So there's that school of thought. 00:14:22.780 --> 00:14:24.670 Those are the two primary schools of thought. 00:14:25.180 --> 00:14:28.959 That it developed over time, or one person woke up one day 00:14:28.959 --> 00:14:30.040 and started teaching everybody. 00:14:30.430 --> 00:14:33.729 Jim Conrad: And we are, as human beings, we are symbol identifying, 00:14:33.790 --> 00:14:36.609 meaning seeking creatures, aren't we? 00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:41.329 Tie that back into, in one of your seminars on leadership development, is 00:14:41.329 --> 00:14:44.589 meaning and value a part of the equation? 00:14:44.890 --> 00:14:45.250 Russ Hamilton: Yeah. 00:14:45.609 --> 00:14:50.565 Well, what that, that question makes me think of is the distinction 00:14:50.565 --> 00:14:51.765 between autonomy and community. 00:14:52.740 --> 00:14:54.300 Jim Conrad: Autonomy and community. 00:14:54.720 --> 00:14:56.880 Russ Hamilton: 'Cause everybody has their own definitions of value. 00:14:56.880 --> 00:14:59.580 Everybody has their own definitions of who they are and what they 00:14:59.580 --> 00:15:00.690 are and what's happening. 00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:04.410 Often those definitions are informed by the what they're fed and what 00:15:04.410 --> 00:15:06.750 narratives they're consuming, and media they're consuming. 00:15:07.590 --> 00:15:10.590 But the difference between autonomy and community, if you think of a 00:15:10.620 --> 00:15:14.670 teeter-totter and on each end of the teeter-totter at one end is autonomy. 00:15:14.670 --> 00:15:15.780 The other end is community. 00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:19.790 Where do I put myself at any given moment between autonomy? 00:15:19.810 --> 00:15:22.150 Do I, am I like more on the autonomy side? 00:15:22.300 --> 00:15:23.380 What does autonomy mean? 00:15:23.680 --> 00:15:27.970 Autonomy means my, how I define my right to self govern, self determine. 00:15:28.120 --> 00:15:32.650 My autonomy, my experience, my senses, my sense of smell, touch, 00:15:32.650 --> 00:15:34.390 taste, sound, all these things. 00:15:34.840 --> 00:15:37.480 My personal experience in this world. 00:15:37.480 --> 00:15:41.895 My right to determine who I am, to self govern and to self-identify. 00:15:41.895 --> 00:15:43.545 That's autonomy. 00:15:43.605 --> 00:15:48.885 Community is you and I in a room together with some friends in the booth out there 00:15:49.365 --> 00:15:52.875 and we are a little community doing a recording right now on what we assume 00:15:52.875 --> 00:15:55.855 is a common mission to create some interesting content for Conovision. 00:15:55.935 --> 00:16:00.495 Both things exist simultaneously, so in a way, this is our approach to duality. 00:16:00.975 --> 00:16:04.935 The particle in the wave, that light itself is both a particle and a wave. 00:16:05.415 --> 00:16:07.935 Communication is both autonomy and community. 00:16:07.935 --> 00:16:12.375 Both have to exist simultaneously for a successful communication to take place. 00:16:12.495 --> 00:16:16.365 And we live in a society that tends to want us to choose, pick a side. 00:16:16.425 --> 00:16:19.725 Do you want to be heavy autonomy and see the world as a threat to 00:16:19.755 --> 00:16:21.675 your autonomy or as a benefit to it? 00:16:21.975 --> 00:16:25.185 Or do you wanna live in a community and see the world as a threat to 00:16:25.185 --> 00:16:26.895 the community or as a benefit to it? 00:16:26.985 --> 00:16:32.080 The call to action is to embrace autonomy and community as two opposite 00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:35.140 things that are existing in the same place at the same time, duality. 00:16:35.530 --> 00:16:39.910 Jim Conrad: When you're doing your seminars and explaining that concept, 00:16:40.980 --> 00:16:45.580 another part of your practice and methodology is to make people 00:16:45.580 --> 00:16:49.880 aware how they react under stress. 00:16:50.710 --> 00:16:55.245 Because we act, react differently when we're relaxed and we have minimal stress. 00:16:55.275 --> 00:16:58.875 If we can have certain ideals, certain ways and practices that we do things. 00:16:58.995 --> 00:17:05.024 But then when we are under stress, all manner of things begin to occur, including 00:17:05.325 --> 00:17:09.825 reflexive thinking, thinking that's been buried back in there for a long time. 00:17:10.514 --> 00:17:13.754 But as soon as we become stressed out, boom. 00:17:14.385 --> 00:17:17.675 So your methodology is to identify that. 00:17:18.005 --> 00:17:21.245 Identify when you're in a stressful situation, but more, more 00:17:21.245 --> 00:17:25.445 importantly, look at yourself and, and see how you react under stress. 00:17:25.505 --> 00:17:25.985 Russ Hamilton: Yes. 00:17:26.705 --> 00:17:31.535 Uh, how do I show up under stress is the first primary question out of three 00:17:31.535 --> 00:17:34.205 primary questions in our six box model. 00:17:34.865 --> 00:17:38.645 We have a six box model, three primary questions, three primary relationships. 00:17:39.305 --> 00:17:43.385 The questions we use as lenses to look through at the three primary relationships 00:17:43.385 --> 00:17:45.335 and they can be applied to everything. 00:17:45.665 --> 00:17:49.265 The first question in the six box model is, how do I show up under stress? 00:17:49.905 --> 00:17:53.745 And of course, as soon as I introduce that question in a workshop, people 00:17:53.745 --> 00:17:57.014 kind of glaze over and start thinking about how they show up under stress. 00:17:57.075 --> 00:17:59.504 And it's like, the answer's not great, right? 00:17:59.504 --> 00:18:02.595 So I can see their faces starting to change and they're like, uh, 00:18:02.595 --> 00:18:04.065 you know, am I really supposed? 00:18:04.065 --> 00:18:06.195 And I'm like, no, that's not the purpose of the question. 00:18:06.195 --> 00:18:10.419 The purpose of the question is a lens to look through at our three primary 00:18:10.419 --> 00:18:12.370 relationships, self content, and audience. 00:18:12.580 --> 00:18:15.340 If you wanna check this out, you can do this on the Connection Laboratory website, 00:18:15.340 --> 00:18:18.939 and we have our six box loud and proud there, and that's the framework that 00:18:18.939 --> 00:18:20.230 we step through into all of our work. 00:18:20.230 --> 00:18:23.630 Jim Conrad: So the lens looks at, uh, self, content, 00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:25.160 Russ Hamilton: Audience. 00:18:25.190 --> 00:18:26.100 Jim Conrad: And the audience. 00:18:26.130 --> 00:18:26.400 Russ Hamilton: Right. 00:18:26.460 --> 00:18:28.550 Those are our three primary relationships. 00:18:29.100 --> 00:18:31.260 How do I show up under stress is our first lens. 00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:33.870 And instead of going, oh, let me tell you about how I show up under 00:18:33.870 --> 00:18:36.390 stress, that's not the purpose of the question in this context. 00:18:36.600 --> 00:18:39.480 Instead, people will say, well, what do you mean by stress, Russ? 00:18:39.480 --> 00:18:42.330 Because what's stressful for you might be different than what's stressful for me. 00:18:42.570 --> 00:18:44.820 And I'm like, fantastic, let's have that conversation. 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:49.095 And then the next follow up question might be which of my skills and abilities 00:18:49.095 --> 00:18:53.825 disappear first under stress that I have in abundance when I'm chill and relaxed, 00:18:53.825 --> 00:18:55.385 which was a point you were making earlier. 00:18:55.975 --> 00:18:57.915 What a lovely thing to explore. 00:18:58.245 --> 00:19:02.595 The next follow up question is, can I notice how I show up under stress 00:19:02.595 --> 00:19:08.205 without judgment or correction, or do I automatically lay the boots into myself 00:19:08.205 --> 00:19:10.245 for being such a jerk under stress. 00:19:10.515 --> 00:19:12.165 What a bag of fertilizer. 00:19:12.165 --> 00:19:12.885 I showed up that way. 00:19:12.885 --> 00:19:14.930 I'm supposed to be a pro, a professional. 00:19:15.310 --> 00:19:16.980 But here I am, right? 00:19:16.980 --> 00:19:21.185 And now I'm supposed to be the model for all the, no, no, right? 00:19:21.375 --> 00:19:24.285 Can I notice how I show up under stress without judgment or correction? 00:19:24.345 --> 00:19:27.615 And the target phrase, anytime I notice how I'm showing up under stress, the 00:19:27.615 --> 00:19:30.805 target phrase is, isn't that interesting. 00:19:30.845 --> 00:19:33.975 Because that one phrase means it's not right, it's not wrong, 00:19:33.975 --> 00:19:35.295 it's not good, it's not bad. 00:19:35.295 --> 00:19:36.945 It's just how I'm showing up under stress. 00:19:37.455 --> 00:19:41.745 Another follow up question we ask is, does my audience know more about 00:19:41.745 --> 00:19:43.215 how I show up under stress than I do? 00:19:43.635 --> 00:19:45.135 Jim Conrad: And the audience could be anybody. 00:19:45.500 --> 00:19:46.820 Russ Hamilton: Could be anybody in front of you. 00:19:46.820 --> 00:19:49.610 Could be one person, could be the person across from you on the bus. 00:19:49.640 --> 00:19:50.850 Jim Conrad: And that speaks to relationship. 00:19:50.850 --> 00:19:54.740 You have to be, you have to be in relationship in order to have an audience. 00:19:54.740 --> 00:19:54.830 Russ Hamilton: Right. 00:19:54.860 --> 00:19:58.610 But if I have like a tick that I don't know about, and the person 00:19:58.610 --> 00:20:01.430 sitting across from me on the bus is like, oh, I hope they're okay. 00:20:01.720 --> 00:20:05.920 That person knows more about how I'm showing up under stress than I do, right? 00:20:05.920 --> 00:20:08.230 Jim Conrad: Because of our innate inability to see ourselves. 00:20:08.230 --> 00:20:10.360 Russ Hamilton: We, we, I can't have your experience of me. 00:20:10.810 --> 00:20:12.520 I can't have your experience of me. 00:20:13.030 --> 00:20:15.940 I can only have, I'm busy in here trying to manage what's going on. 00:20:15.940 --> 00:20:17.080 And the same for you, man. 00:20:17.170 --> 00:20:21.689 So, this question, how do I show up under stress is a place that we can just spend 00:20:21.689 --> 00:20:23.550 the rest of our lives, and people do. 00:20:23.669 --> 00:20:28.350 In our case, we use that question and it pivots into the next question, which, 00:20:28.409 --> 00:20:32.159 the next primary question, which is, how do I want to show up under stress? 00:20:32.159 --> 00:20:33.330 If I could choose? 00:20:33.810 --> 00:20:35.850 I, I can't end stress in my life. 00:20:35.850 --> 00:20:38.730 And the fact is I quite like some forms of stress. 00:20:38.730 --> 00:20:39.990 I show up really well under it. 00:20:39.990 --> 00:20:41.430 I like deadlines and things. 00:20:41.430 --> 00:20:43.560 I show up well in game time situations. 00:20:43.560 --> 00:20:44.850 I kind of love that excitement. 00:20:45.030 --> 00:20:48.810 Other people are like, oh, some kinds of stress are just absolutely debilitating. 00:20:49.080 --> 00:20:51.240 But how do I want to, if I could choose. 00:20:51.390 --> 00:20:55.890 I wanna honor the stress that I'm under and still find a way, develop 00:20:55.890 --> 00:21:00.120 my relationship to stress, to such a point where I can choose how 00:21:00.120 --> 00:21:03.730 I show up in this moment instead of my stress choosing for me. 00:21:04.090 --> 00:21:06.640 'Cause that's what usually happens. 00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:10.180 There's a moment where I just shrug and I step away from the wheel and 00:21:10.180 --> 00:21:13.900 my stress takes over and the next thing you know, I'm throwing furniture 00:21:13.900 --> 00:21:16.690 across the room and I'm gonna have to rebuild relationships or find a new 00:21:16.690 --> 00:21:21.250 job or a new spouse, or who knows what, 'cause I show up poorly under stress. 00:21:21.250 --> 00:21:25.740 Jim Conrad: And that, sometimes that reaction is a reflexive response 00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:27.570 from something deep inside you. 00:21:27.600 --> 00:21:31.320 So, you know, what you're doing essentially is kind of business therapy. 00:21:32.010 --> 00:21:32.400 Russ Hamilton: Yeah. 00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:35.820 I mean, if that's language that's comfortable for you, I, I'm not 00:21:35.820 --> 00:21:38.100 sure I would use that language, but I'm not attached to it. 00:21:38.100 --> 00:21:39.780 I, I'm not attached to outcomes so much. 00:21:39.810 --> 00:21:43.950 What I'm interested in is introducing these questions and it's this methodology 00:21:44.010 --> 00:21:45.750 and then helping people use it. 00:21:45.930 --> 00:21:48.360 So if they start attaching their own language to it, fantastic. 00:21:48.360 --> 00:21:50.370 If that's, if it's business therapy, fantastic. 00:21:50.370 --> 00:21:50.880 Use that. 00:21:50.940 --> 00:21:53.040 Jim Conrad: So how does stress then influence through 00:21:53.100 --> 00:21:55.440 with the lens onto content? 00:21:55.870 --> 00:21:56.230 Russ Hamilton: Yeah. 00:21:56.440 --> 00:21:59.290 So if we finish the six box, how do I show up under stress? 00:21:59.290 --> 00:22:02.210 Question one, how do I wanna show up under stress, question two. 00:22:02.540 --> 00:22:04.360 Question three is, what do I want to get better at? 00:22:04.600 --> 00:22:04.900 Right? 00:22:04.930 --> 00:22:09.340 If I'm noticing how I'm showing up under stress, if there's a gap between how I'm 00:22:09.340 --> 00:22:13.155 showing up under stress and how I would choose to, what do I wanna get better at? 00:22:13.395 --> 00:22:16.635 What competencies do I want to get better at, so I can start choosing 00:22:16.635 --> 00:22:19.905 how I show up under stress instead of my stress choosing for me. 00:22:20.024 --> 00:22:23.115 And people will say, well, Russ, can I put anything on that list that, 00:22:23.115 --> 00:22:24.225 uh, I'm trying to get better at? 00:22:24.225 --> 00:22:25.034 And the answer is yes. 00:22:25.034 --> 00:22:27.135 Can I put my golf swing on the list? 00:22:27.135 --> 00:22:27.585 Yes. 00:22:27.585 --> 00:22:30.284 If that's what you want to get, like making Thai food, yes. 00:22:30.284 --> 00:22:31.485 If that's what you want to get better at. 00:22:31.754 --> 00:22:35.530 But if you find yourself in a team lead situation, if you find yourself, you 00:22:35.530 --> 00:22:40.210 know, uh, leading a team of people or an organization or a community center 00:22:40.210 --> 00:22:44.080 or a family, you might wanna start identifying competencies that will help 00:22:44.080 --> 00:22:46.979 you and your team fulfill your potential. 00:22:47.199 --> 00:22:48.490 And I say it like it's easy. 00:22:48.490 --> 00:22:53.050 Identifying the outcome is easy, but identifying the competency 00:22:53.050 --> 00:22:56.170 that's gonna lead to that outcome, oh, that's a good question. 00:22:56.170 --> 00:22:57.310 What is the competency? 00:22:57.310 --> 00:23:00.929 And when I say competency, what's the thing I can practice? 00:23:01.300 --> 00:23:02.810 The, like piano. 00:23:02.990 --> 00:23:04.695 Or saxophone or whatever. 00:23:05.055 --> 00:23:06.855 Um, so those are our three primary questions. 00:23:06.855 --> 00:23:07.845 How do I show up under stress? 00:23:07.845 --> 00:23:09.105 How do I wanna show up under stress? 00:23:09.105 --> 00:23:10.065 What do I want to get better at? 00:23:10.335 --> 00:23:14.205 Our three primary relationships are self, content, and audience. 00:23:14.685 --> 00:23:15.735 My relationship to myself. 00:23:15.735 --> 00:23:16.515 How's my breathing? 00:23:16.515 --> 00:23:17.325 How's my hydration? 00:23:17.325 --> 00:23:18.015 How's my fitness? 00:23:18.015 --> 00:23:18.705 How's my sleep? 00:23:18.705 --> 00:23:19.515 How's my nutrition? 00:23:19.665 --> 00:23:22.455 People dedicate their lives to this relationship, and it's a perfectly 00:23:22.455 --> 00:23:23.685 noble way to spend your life. 00:23:24.015 --> 00:23:26.250 To your point, what is my content? 00:23:26.250 --> 00:23:28.440 That's our second primary relationship. 00:23:28.490 --> 00:23:29.250 What am I good at? 00:23:30.090 --> 00:23:31.040 How did I get good? 00:23:31.320 --> 00:23:32.490 What do I make every day? 00:23:32.760 --> 00:23:34.710 What artifacts do I create every day? 00:23:34.860 --> 00:23:36.240 And what if I don't make artifacts? 00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:37.830 What if I just have conversations? 00:23:37.830 --> 00:23:38.490 Does that count? 00:23:38.670 --> 00:23:41.070 What value am I bringing to these conversations? 00:23:41.310 --> 00:23:42.600 What experience or ambition? 00:23:42.660 --> 00:23:45.990 That's our second primary relationship, is relationship to content. 00:23:46.470 --> 00:23:48.750 Over there in the right hand corner is relationship to 00:23:48.750 --> 00:23:49.920 audience, and this is a big one. 00:23:49.950 --> 00:23:52.050 I mean, not that all of them aren't big, but does my 00:23:52.050 --> 00:23:54.540 audience feel seen by me, right? 00:23:54.689 --> 00:23:56.930 Well, first of all, who's watching me at any given moment? 00:23:56.930 --> 00:23:57.940 And can I see them? 00:23:57.989 --> 00:23:59.489 But does my audience feel seen? 00:23:59.520 --> 00:24:03.000 And almost more importantly, who decides if my audience feels seen. 00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:06.179 And this is a lovely moment in the workshop where people, you know, make 00:24:06.179 --> 00:24:11.610 the thinking face and who decides if my audience feels seen by me. 00:24:12.120 --> 00:24:13.009 And people will guess. 00:24:13.009 --> 00:24:17.129 But usually it funnels down to, don't I decide if I feel seen? 00:24:17.129 --> 00:24:18.655 If you're the presenter and I'm the audience. 00:24:19.875 --> 00:24:20.625 Yes. 00:24:20.655 --> 00:24:24.375 If you are the audience, you decide if you feel seen. 00:24:24.525 --> 00:24:26.865 We all decide if we feel seen. 00:24:26.865 --> 00:24:28.155 This is part of autonomy. 00:24:28.365 --> 00:24:30.035 Jim Conrad: And how do we know if we feel seen? 00:24:30.035 --> 00:24:31.395 Russ Hamilton: Well, that's a great question. 00:24:31.395 --> 00:24:32.205 Yes. 00:24:32.205 --> 00:24:34.995 What is the, and notice the word, the operative word is feel. 00:24:35.055 --> 00:24:35.325 Jim Conrad: Yeah. 00:24:35.895 --> 00:24:40.670 Russ Hamilton: So it's a sensation of feeling seen, and usually it has 00:24:40.670 --> 00:24:44.470 to do with, you know, actual, well, people know when they feel seen. 00:24:45.220 --> 00:24:47.330 They, they feel seen by their pets. 00:24:47.540 --> 00:24:49.220 They feel seen by toddlers. 00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:52.370 They feel seen by members of their family, who kind of accidentally 00:24:52.370 --> 00:24:53.180 connect with each other. 00:24:53.180 --> 00:24:54.560 There's no methodology involved. 00:24:54.560 --> 00:24:59.205 We're just natural connected people, where we're naturally connected to each other. 00:24:59.625 --> 00:25:03.495 Um, but we are increasingly in a world where that connection is kind of 00:25:03.495 --> 00:25:08.765 marginalized and things that happen out of relationship are emphasized and amplified. 00:25:09.195 --> 00:25:10.635 Uh, but does my audience feel seen? 00:25:10.635 --> 00:25:11.895 Does my audience feel heard? 00:25:11.895 --> 00:25:14.535 Does my audience feel necessary for this presentation? 00:25:14.865 --> 00:25:18.075 Does my audience feel invited to inform my process and my content? 00:25:18.255 --> 00:25:19.665 What is my feedback process? 00:25:19.665 --> 00:25:20.685 What's it really in service of? 00:25:20.925 --> 00:25:24.400 All of these questions, under the relationship of audience, imply a set 00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:27.460 of competencies that I can practice or not in service of that relationship. 00:25:27.730 --> 00:25:30.640 So now we have three primary questions and three primary relationships. 00:25:30.910 --> 00:25:31.990 How do I show up under stress? 00:25:32.020 --> 00:25:33.340 How do I wanna show up under stress? 00:25:33.340 --> 00:25:34.360 What do I want to get better at? 00:25:34.600 --> 00:25:36.220 Self, content, audience. 00:25:36.250 --> 00:25:39.160 Each of these relationships have their own set of competencies. 00:25:39.550 --> 00:25:42.090 It's kind of like playing three instruments at the same time. 00:25:42.290 --> 00:25:45.340 Saxophone, piano, and drums, which is why people don't 00:25:45.340 --> 00:25:46.480 want to give the presentation. 00:25:46.510 --> 00:25:48.520 They don't want to stand up in front of the group. 00:25:48.640 --> 00:25:51.550 Jim Conrad: Most people's worst fear is standing up in front of 00:25:51.550 --> 00:25:54.055 an audience and giving a speech. 00:25:54.315 --> 00:25:55.615 Public speaking. 00:25:55.975 --> 00:25:57.475 Now why is that do you think? 00:25:57.804 --> 00:25:59.425 Russ Hamilton: So, I think there's a few reasons for it. 00:25:59.425 --> 00:26:01.985 One is because you're playing three instruments at the same time. 00:26:02.664 --> 00:26:07.014 And the likelihood of failure is high with at least one of the relationships. 00:26:07.044 --> 00:26:08.215 And people hate failing. 00:26:08.215 --> 00:26:12.709 They are terrified, one of their greatest fears is looking stupid, looking foolish. 00:26:12.860 --> 00:26:18.034 Jim Conrad: It's not the, the doing, it's how I will feel if I fail, when I fail. 00:26:18.065 --> 00:26:18.995 Russ Hamilton: Not if, when. 00:26:18.995 --> 00:26:19.565 Jim Conrad: Yeah, when I fail. 00:26:19.565 --> 00:26:21.185 Russ Hamilton: And what that, what's that gonna look like? 00:26:21.185 --> 00:26:21.425 Jim Conrad: Yeah. 00:26:21.695 --> 00:26:22.865 Russ Hamilton: We have nightmares about it. 00:26:22.895 --> 00:26:25.655 We have nightmares, you know, the actor's nightmare of walking out on 00:26:25.655 --> 00:26:27.335 stage and not knowing your lines. 00:26:27.915 --> 00:26:30.274 It's an enormous primal fear. 00:26:31.264 --> 00:26:34.325 Uh, what we do in our workshops is we hold it up and we say, isn't that interesting? 00:26:34.325 --> 00:26:35.524 And then we actually practice. 00:26:35.524 --> 00:26:38.375 That, in fact, you can play all three instruments at the same time. 00:26:39.004 --> 00:26:40.385 You can, you can breathe. 00:26:40.655 --> 00:26:42.065 What you have to do is slow down. 00:26:42.455 --> 00:26:46.080 And in fact prioritize relationship with the audience. 00:26:46.770 --> 00:26:51.060 'Cause once the audience feels seen and heard and necessary and invited, 00:26:51.480 --> 00:26:56.550 now you are no longer carrying the burden of a perfect presentation. 00:26:57.240 --> 00:26:59.010 You are collaborating in the room. 00:26:59.010 --> 00:27:03.840 You're carrying this exchange with everybody who feels seen and heard. 00:27:04.020 --> 00:27:05.820 It's a collaborative effort. 00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:11.880 Jim Conrad: So the operative phrase then would be the audience becomes the content. 00:27:12.300 --> 00:27:14.880 Russ Hamilton: I would say the audience co-creates the content with you. 00:27:15.030 --> 00:27:19.080 You have your slide deck, you have your offer, but you've built it 00:27:19.080 --> 00:27:22.350 in such a way where you invite the audience to constantly inform it. 00:27:22.830 --> 00:27:25.560 And if the audience feels seen and heard, they will, even in 00:27:25.560 --> 00:27:27.780 silence, they'll lean forward. 00:27:28.290 --> 00:27:31.065 They will give, offer you their energy and their attention. 00:27:31.065 --> 00:27:35.360 Jim Conrad: 'Cause the mistake a lot of people do, uh, making presentation 00:27:35.389 --> 00:27:40.959 is if they have enough technology and fancy gimmicks and slides, they can 00:27:40.989 --> 00:27:47.060 somehow perform an amazing, uh, you know, presentation that will wow everybody. 00:27:47.270 --> 00:27:49.100 Yet people glaze over. 00:27:49.189 --> 00:27:49.520 Russ Hamilton: Yeah. 00:27:49.669 --> 00:27:51.290 Jim Conrad: Because they're being talked at. 00:27:51.290 --> 00:27:52.260 They're not being talked to. 00:27:52.260 --> 00:27:53.179 Russ Hamilton: It's a different instrument. 00:27:53.179 --> 00:27:57.379 If we go back to our six box, people try to improve their relationship 00:27:57.379 --> 00:28:01.490 with the audience by investing in their relationship with the content. 00:28:01.610 --> 00:28:01.909 It doesn't work. 00:28:03.135 --> 00:28:08.685 If I change the content on slide 61 of a 90 slide deck, 00:28:09.645 --> 00:28:11.325 that's really gonna get 'em. 00:28:11.355 --> 00:28:11.555 Yeah. 00:28:11.555 --> 00:28:13.345 It's not, it's not gonna get 'em. 00:28:13.365 --> 00:28:14.565 It's a different instrument. 00:28:14.565 --> 00:28:18.085 Your piano playing is not gonna get better when you practice the saxophone. 00:28:18.645 --> 00:28:22.015 Your saxophone playing is gonna get better, which is a priority. 00:28:22.035 --> 00:28:23.535 It's a primary relationship. 00:28:23.535 --> 00:28:27.525 You need good content, but it's different than your relationship with your audience. 00:28:27.945 --> 00:28:30.195 Relationship with the audience is curiosity. 00:28:30.415 --> 00:28:31.415 What color are their eyes? 00:28:31.415 --> 00:28:32.495 What color are their eyebrows? 00:28:32.495 --> 00:28:33.360 What shapes do you see? 00:28:33.360 --> 00:28:35.010 We actually practice this in our workshops. 00:28:35.429 --> 00:28:38.129 And people start raising their hand when they feel seen because we 00:28:38.129 --> 00:28:41.790 get better as audience members and presenters, and we take turns being both. 00:28:41.879 --> 00:28:44.129 And the more we practice, the easier it gets. 00:28:44.129 --> 00:28:45.239 What was I so afraid of? 00:28:45.239 --> 00:28:45.959 Are you kidding me? 00:28:46.020 --> 00:28:50.909 And people who were convinced that they were introverts and terrible presenters 00:28:50.909 --> 00:28:56.690 and terrible creators and, and just awful as a contributor, suddenly have 00:28:56.690 --> 00:28:59.960 to re-identify themselves and go, what if I'm actually good at this? 00:28:59.960 --> 00:29:02.900 'Cause I just got a bunch of feedback from an audience, most of whom I 00:29:02.900 --> 00:29:06.800 didn't know, or maybe I work with consistently, telling me that I'm 00:29:06.800 --> 00:29:08.240 the best presenter they've ever seen. 00:29:08.300 --> 00:29:13.820 And now their world starts to wobble and shift because their whole world, 00:29:13.820 --> 00:29:15.800 their whole identity is rocked. 00:29:15.800 --> 00:29:17.570 I am not a good communicator. 00:29:17.870 --> 00:29:21.290 I've grown up my whole life knowing I'm not a good communicator. 00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:26.450 I've always felt that I had things to say, but I, it is never land, I never had 00:29:26.450 --> 00:29:29.870 the tools, I've never had the methodology that's gonna help me close that gap and 00:29:29.870 --> 00:29:31.430 make it possible, make it collaborative. 00:29:31.640 --> 00:29:34.520 And the moment it becomes collaborative and they get feedback from the 00:29:34.520 --> 00:29:37.760 audience saying, I can't wait to see every presentation you do, you are so 00:29:37.760 --> 00:29:39.770 good at this, that messes people up. 00:29:40.490 --> 00:29:41.760 Jim Conrad: And that can be life changing. 00:29:42.500 --> 00:29:43.189 Russ Hamilton: Repeatedly. 00:29:43.600 --> 00:29:45.005 That's why I have the best job in the world. 00:29:45.215 --> 00:29:49.955 Jim Conrad: If you were to give me an example of someone who had a breakthrough, 00:29:50.675 --> 00:29:55.655 uh, in your personal experience over many years of doing this, what would it be? 00:29:57.005 --> 00:29:58.955 Russ Hamilton: So, I have many to choose from. 00:29:59.585 --> 00:30:08.250 The person I'm thinking of is probably, 2016, 2017, I'm in Boulder, Colorado. 00:30:08.250 --> 00:30:12.120 I've been working with an organization for six years. 00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:16.110 We're doing module two of Connection Lab, demand a call to action. 00:30:16.590 --> 00:30:18.780 Uh, we have eight people in the workshop. 00:30:18.780 --> 00:30:20.700 One woman gets up on stage. 00:30:21.060 --> 00:30:23.580 Uh, I put her in her late fifties, maybe. 00:30:23.610 --> 00:30:24.720 She's well dressed. 00:30:25.070 --> 00:30:26.720 Um, she looks great. 00:30:27.170 --> 00:30:31.310 She's standing on stage, she's breathing, she's confident, and it's amazing. 00:30:31.940 --> 00:30:35.480 And so she's gonna, she's gonna do her presentation, whatever that 00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:39.680 is, and very quietly, she says, you don't remember me, do you? 00:30:41.600 --> 00:30:43.430 And I said, let's assume I don't. 00:30:45.470 --> 00:30:47.390 I have a lot of participants in the world. 00:30:47.390 --> 00:30:49.430 Can you remind me how we know each other? 00:30:49.580 --> 00:30:54.015 And she said, you were here just about three years ago doing module, 00:30:54.015 --> 00:30:57.555 doing a bunch of module work with Connection Lab, and she said, I looked 00:30:57.555 --> 00:30:58.485 very different in that workshop. 00:30:59.804 --> 00:31:01.064 And I said, okay. 00:31:01.064 --> 00:31:03.945 And she said, I don't know if you remember me, but I was 00:31:03.945 --> 00:31:07.274 wearing dark gray, black clothes. 00:31:07.274 --> 00:31:08.504 I was wearing a smock. 00:31:08.504 --> 00:31:11.115 I tried to hide in the world all the time. 00:31:11.445 --> 00:31:12.945 I had gray long hair. 00:31:12.945 --> 00:31:14.024 And I hid behind it. 00:31:14.024 --> 00:31:16.155 And I said, I do remember you. 00:31:16.725 --> 00:31:20.385 And she said, um, I did module one of your workshop. 00:31:20.564 --> 00:31:24.165 And I wept like a child because I was facing my worst fears. 00:31:24.465 --> 00:31:27.584 And you helped me see that there were really nothing to be afraid of. 00:31:27.764 --> 00:31:31.125 And the more I practiced and the more I took a breath and just filled my 00:31:31.125 --> 00:31:35.205 lungs from the bottom up and sought the answer in relationship with my audience. 00:31:35.385 --> 00:31:37.905 'Cause I felt so alone and scared on stage. 00:31:38.145 --> 00:31:41.385 But when I started to practice confronting what I thought was my 00:31:41.385 --> 00:31:46.844 worst fear, actually connecting with people, it wasn't so bad there. 00:31:46.844 --> 00:31:48.495 People were kind of rooting for me. 00:31:48.554 --> 00:31:53.640 And I kind of had this breakthrough moment, and you asked me to 00:31:53.640 --> 00:31:55.230 tie my hair back, and so I did. 00:31:55.230 --> 00:31:59.880 I pulled it into a ponytail so people could see me, and I did my presentation 00:31:59.880 --> 00:32:03.390 and I did it with, you know, watery eyes and snotty nose and, but you 00:32:03.390 --> 00:32:07.140 gave me tissues and I cleaned up and I, I, I, I shared with the group 00:32:07.140 --> 00:32:10.530 what I want my leadership legacy to be, and I got a round of feedback 00:32:10.530 --> 00:32:11.760 that I'd never heard in my life. 00:32:12.095 --> 00:32:15.725 And she said, I was so deeply moved by the first experience, 00:32:16.355 --> 00:32:20.585 and I took pages of notes and I stayed in touch with my cohort, 00:32:20.585 --> 00:32:22.175 the people I did the training with. 00:32:22.625 --> 00:32:26.255 And, um, four months later, my communication got so 00:32:26.255 --> 00:32:27.395 much better I got promoted. 00:32:28.055 --> 00:32:30.525 Uh, I was a, I was suddenly on a team lead. 00:32:30.525 --> 00:32:34.965 I, I'm leading 12 people, you know, in our marketing department. 00:32:34.965 --> 00:32:37.995 And she said, I'd never been promoted like that in my life. 00:32:38.055 --> 00:32:41.115 And she said, I felt like, you know, I was, I didn't belong 00:32:41.115 --> 00:32:42.405 there and it wasn't appropriate. 00:32:42.405 --> 00:32:45.825 But the more I did it, and I, I became a communications leader on the team. 00:32:46.065 --> 00:32:49.395 Then a year and a half later, I got promoted again. 00:32:50.250 --> 00:32:54.510 And she said, as you see me today, I'm in charge of 35 people. 00:32:54.600 --> 00:32:58.890 And when I say in charge, I just modeled the practice of communication and 00:32:58.890 --> 00:33:00.720 people feel seen and heard and invited. 00:33:00.870 --> 00:33:03.540 And when I saw that you were coming back from module two, I 00:33:03.540 --> 00:33:04.680 was the first one to sign up. 00:33:05.190 --> 00:33:08.220 And I said, you have come a beautiful long way. 00:33:08.220 --> 00:33:11.550 And she said, I really appreciate all the, all the things you've introduced me to. 00:33:11.550 --> 00:33:13.830 And without your help, I, I would never be here. 00:33:13.830 --> 00:33:15.390 So I just, I just wanna say thanks. 00:33:15.804 --> 00:33:16.615 Jim Conrad: That's a great story. 00:33:17.054 --> 00:33:18.175 That's a great story, Russ. 00:33:18.294 --> 00:33:20.145 Thank you for being here. 00:33:20.245 --> 00:33:20.544 Russ Hamilton: Of course. 00:33:20.565 --> 00:33:23.145 Jim Conrad: Um, give us a plug again for Connection Lab. 00:33:23.475 --> 00:33:26.705 Russ Hamilton: Connection Lab is ConnectionLaboratory.com. 00:33:26.835 --> 00:33:28.155 Um, that's our website. 00:33:28.155 --> 00:33:32.955 We have the podcast Lab Notes and, yeah, we talk to participants all over the 00:33:32.955 --> 00:33:36.254 world who've been through the workshop and talk about their practice with 00:33:36.254 --> 00:33:38.054 the six box model and the six modules. 00:33:38.385 --> 00:33:41.264 Um, so I encourage people to check out the website, check out, I'm 00:33:41.264 --> 00:33:42.855 on LinkedIn and social media. 00:33:43.280 --> 00:33:46.040 Uh, we're developing the app, which I'm very excited about. 00:33:46.040 --> 00:33:48.650 We're developing the board game, which I'm very excited about, 00:33:48.650 --> 00:33:50.330 and I'm finally writing the book. 00:33:50.420 --> 00:33:50.990 Jim Conrad: Nice. 00:33:51.050 --> 00:33:51.650 Thank you, Russ. 00:33:51.650 --> 00:33:52.310 Russ Hamilton: Thank you, Jim. 00:34:02.655 --> 00:34:06.255 Jim Conrad: The evolution of human language from its ancient roots to 00:34:06.255 --> 00:34:12.225 modern complexity reflects the deep interplay between biological, cognitive, 00:34:12.345 --> 00:34:14.595 environmental, and social factors. 00:34:16.605 --> 00:34:20.775 The development of syntax and grammar allowed humans to move beyond simple 00:34:20.775 --> 00:34:25.665 communication, while the diversification of languages into distinct families shows 00:34:25.665 --> 00:34:28.755 the adaptability and richness of language. 00:34:29.625 --> 00:34:34.364 As humans migrated and adapted to new environments, their languages evolved 00:34:34.364 --> 00:34:38.415 to reflect both their changing needs and the complexities of their cultures. 00:34:39.824 --> 00:34:44.784 Understanding this evolution provides valuable insights into the 00:34:44.784 --> 00:34:49.525 nature of human cognition, social organization, and cultural development. 00:34:50.845 --> 00:34:55.014 The evolution of human language is a testament to the adaptability 00:34:55.255 --> 00:34:57.925 and creativity of human beings. 00:34:59.095 --> 00:35:03.940 The invention of writing allowed language to be preserved and standardized, while 00:35:04.135 --> 00:35:08.875 the rise of global languages and the impact of digital communication have 00:35:08.875 --> 00:35:13.735 further shaped the ways in which language functions in contemporary society. 00:35:15.700 --> 00:35:21.400 As the world becomes more interconnected, language will continue to evolve, 00:35:21.880 --> 00:35:26.110 influenced by both technological advancements and cultural exchanges. 00:35:27.940 --> 00:35:34.690 The study of human engagement shows how humans think, communicate, and interact 00:35:34.690 --> 00:35:42.310 with one another, offering a window into both our past and our future. 00:35:56.955 --> 00:36:00.015 That was episode eight of the Conovision podcast. 00:36:00.525 --> 00:36:05.355 We heard a story about stories from The Spirituality of Imperfection: 00:36:05.655 --> 00:36:09.855 Storytelling and The Search for Meaning by Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham. 00:36:10.485 --> 00:36:14.445 As well, The Evolution of Human Language: From Ancient Roots to Modern 00:36:14.445 --> 00:36:16.875 Complexity by author Bruce William. 00:36:17.475 --> 00:36:20.955 And, of course, Russ Hamilton, and the story of Connection 00:36:20.955 --> 00:36:23.535 Lab and Russ's stories. 00:36:23.985 --> 00:36:24.525 Amazing. 00:36:25.695 --> 00:36:26.805 Thank you for listening. 00:36:27.495 --> 00:36:32.055 And as always, remember, we are all stories to be told.