Bad Counsel

Sound Bites
  • "Well, I don't know if this was fun, but I kind of wanted to, actually I'll wait. I have a story I want to share with everybody. I want to brag a little bit. I want to brag a little, so I'll wait."
  • "I went grocery shopping today and as I'm putting my stuff out of the cart onto the belt for the cashier to ring it up, a woman pulls in behind me on her cart and she's probably, you know, late 30s, early 40s. She starts giggling. I look up, she goes, my God, I'm sorry, but you are so cute."
  • "We went to a new weed doctor. Oh, did you?"
  • "But he likes to lick it off Michelle's ass crack."
  • "MDMA, it's fun. You can't do too much though."
  • "I have a drug scale and MC capsules."
  • "Let's talk about some labor issues, motherfucker."
  • "Let's get Burt going on unions and his opinion of unions."
  • "Cat gate"
  • "Yeah, that's funny. I was watching a little porn today and this young girl had a pretty hairy bush and she was using it to like adjust it. She'd grab that fistful of hair and pull it up and to the side and use it as a tool. I liked it. Good for her."
  • "Maybe it's like Chatbot AI trying to get smarter and this is how it learns about relationships. What to do with, like somebody must have typed into Chatbot, my balls stink. And they're like, you know what? We got nothing. Let's write back council. Let's leave back council voicemail."
  • "Maybe leave a note on his door. Dear sir, your kind is smelly."
  • "You know what I would do if I was this chick? I would start talking about one of our friends that he thinks is hot might like him or might be asking about him and see if there's a change in his grooming behavior. So he thinks, hey, maybe if I get laid, I'll start washing my shit. Her cooter."
  • "So no cleaning crews, right? Nobody cleaned that place for four days. They couldn't find a dead body at a desk."
  • "He was innocent. Poor our Bud Dwyer."
  • "I was only doing baby ketamine, Katie, not the 40 milligrams of ketamine."
  • "On the nights we share tab, I spend almost twice as much as I normally do."
  • "Well, you know, I'll help this guy because I feel it's our obligation to help this guy."
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What is Bad Counsel?

The most Outrageous Advice podcast you've ever heard.