WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:11.920 Music. 00:00:12.111 --> 00:00:15.891 Welcome back to the Life on 11 podcast, the podcast where we turn up the volume 00:00:15.891 --> 00:00:17.111 on faith and everyday living. 00:00:17.531 --> 00:00:20.491 Today, we're diving into one of the most important parts of life, friendship. 00:00:20.811 --> 00:00:24.431 What does the Bible really say about friends? Is it someone we hang out with, 00:00:24.531 --> 00:00:26.451 or does scripture paint a deeper picture? 00:00:26.611 --> 00:00:29.171 From a proverb reminding us that a friend loves at all times, 00:00:29.331 --> 00:00:33.171 to Jesus calling his disciples friends, the Bible shows us that friendship isn't 00:00:33.171 --> 00:00:35.211 casual, it is covenantal. 00:00:35.411 --> 00:00:39.951 It's about loyalty, truth, encouragement, and pointing each closer to God. 00:00:39.951 --> 00:00:42.871 So without further ado, hey, friend. 00:00:43.911 --> 00:00:47.691 What's happening, my brother? Nothing. How's your day? 00:00:48.671 --> 00:00:54.071 Oh, it's been a pretty good day, actually. Yeah? Yeah. That's good. Yep. Yep. 00:00:54.851 --> 00:00:58.471 Honestly, I'm still trying to get back in the groove of work, 00:00:58.471 --> 00:01:01.811 even though I've been back from vacation for a week and a half. 00:01:01.991 --> 00:01:03.291 Maybe it's a sign you need to retire. 00:01:04.491 --> 00:01:07.811 Hey, I like the sound of that. All right. There's a cricket in here. 00:01:07.811 --> 00:01:12.691 There's a cricket in here and there are multiple flies buzzing around all right 00:01:12.691 --> 00:01:17.811 so just so folks know maybe maybe it would help to let folks know that the the 00:01:17.811 --> 00:01:20.231 lord's lair the life on 11 studio, 00:01:20.911 --> 00:01:24.691 is under some pretty major renovations we 00:01:24.691 --> 00:01:28.111 may or may not have major ish major ish we may 00:01:28.111 --> 00:01:30.931 or may not have busted out a wall so it's uh 00:01:30.931 --> 00:01:33.571 and by may or may not we did 00:01:33.571 --> 00:01:36.451 it definitely it definitely happened so there's there's just 00:01:36.451 --> 00:01:39.211 a lot of stuff and yeah so there's a cricket in the background a lot 00:01:39.211 --> 00:01:42.771 of stuff including a cricket a cricket hey we 00:01:42.771 --> 00:01:45.691 did something fun this week we did we went 00:01:45.691 --> 00:01:49.511 to the to the commanders and bangles preseason game yep 00:01:49.511 --> 00:01:55.191 we saw four plays four plays by the offense by the offense the starters yeah 00:01:55.191 --> 00:01:59.311 by the starting offense which really was still missing like three linemen both 00:01:59.311 --> 00:02:04.411 wide receivers or two of the three wide receivers and terry and yeah so it's 00:02:04.411 --> 00:02:06.271 it It was missing a lot, but man. 00:02:06.631 --> 00:02:09.351 Man, they looked good. They looked good. For them four plays, 00:02:09.491 --> 00:02:11.851 they looked good. I don't know, man. That Jaden kid. 00:02:12.951 --> 00:02:15.191 He's all right. Pretty special. He's all right. Pretty special. 00:02:15.311 --> 00:02:16.391 He's a pretty good football player. 00:02:16.751 --> 00:02:21.611 It was a good game. Shout out to our friend Justin, who got us some tickets. 00:02:21.791 --> 00:02:24.491 So we took Aiden and Elijah and went down and had a good evening. 00:02:24.571 --> 00:02:26.131 I watched a little foosball. 00:02:26.631 --> 00:02:29.991 Yes, sir. It's been the highlight of my week. Mine too. Yeah. 00:02:30.651 --> 00:02:34.231 I mean, it had to be a pretty good something to overtake that, I think. It's fine. 00:02:34.932 --> 00:02:40.892 Now, I'm going to my second professional sporting event this week on Saturday. Yeah. Yeah. I know. 00:02:41.732 --> 00:02:45.452 Sick invite. Okay, friend. Sick invite. Are we no longer friends now? 00:02:45.712 --> 00:02:48.292 Well, I guess we'll find out by the end of the podcast. Ooh. 00:02:49.232 --> 00:02:52.652 How about that? Wow. All right. This is getting serious. 00:02:52.892 --> 00:02:55.752 Tomorrow's the start of school for all the Rockingham County, 00:02:55.792 --> 00:02:58.992 our local school systems. Goes back tomorrow, so both of your kids are headed back? 00:02:59.692 --> 00:03:05.052 Yep. Yep. They're both headed back. And I would bet that probably at about, 00:03:05.052 --> 00:03:07.652 I'm going to say about 830, 00:03:08.332 --> 00:03:14.652 Tara will be at the house sitting down on the couch with a blanket and the dog 00:03:14.652 --> 00:03:18.652 and her coffee and just enjoying the silence. 00:03:19.152 --> 00:03:23.772 I'm going to drive by and like lay on the horn. No, go park in the driveway. 00:03:23.972 --> 00:03:26.332 Oh, that's even better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't just drive by because it's kind 00:03:26.332 --> 00:03:27.712 of hard to hear from that far. Okay. 00:03:27.932 --> 00:03:31.572 Yeah. Just go in the driveway and just. Yeah. Or blast some music or something. 00:03:31.772 --> 00:03:33.692 Oh, man. She would love me. 00:03:34.652 --> 00:03:37.972 She, yes. She would very much be your friend. 00:03:39.472 --> 00:03:43.252 Yeah. So in case you haven't figured it out yet, today we're talking about friendship. 00:03:44.072 --> 00:03:46.692 We talked about community and why Christians need community, 00:03:46.692 --> 00:03:47.732 and that's all well and good. 00:03:47.932 --> 00:03:51.452 Yep. But we were kind of, well, I think it was when we were on the way to the 00:03:51.452 --> 00:03:52.232 community's game, wasn't it? 00:03:52.732 --> 00:03:56.612 Yeah, it might have been. And we were talking about friendship and acquaintances 00:03:56.612 --> 00:04:00.712 and what the difference is and how you determine what's what. 00:04:01.092 --> 00:04:03.892 Yeah. Just a little bit of everything. Yeah. Yeah. Because, I mean, 00:04:03.972 --> 00:04:08.972 we all have different circles of friendship, right? 00:04:09.652 --> 00:04:13.372 I think every living organism kind of has that. I think the church, 00:04:13.632 --> 00:04:16.412 I think even in churches, you have like a core. 00:04:17.032 --> 00:04:20.652 One of the, Nelson Searcy was a guy I read some stuff from a few years ago. 00:04:20.652 --> 00:04:26.132 He talked about how you have your core, your congregation, your community, and then your crowd. 00:04:26.632 --> 00:04:31.912 Oh, okay. And people kind of fluctuate between those layers of community within 00:04:31.912 --> 00:04:34.552 the church and what that means. 00:04:35.274 --> 00:04:39.194 Yeah. And so I think all living organisms have that. 00:04:39.434 --> 00:04:43.594 So we as human beings, we have friends and we have acquaintances and we have, 00:04:43.754 --> 00:04:46.134 what other layers can we think of? 00:04:47.094 --> 00:04:53.014 I mean, there's, I would, I would even, I would say there's different layers of friendship even. 00:04:53.294 --> 00:04:57.814 Okay. I don't know, like in the English language, we don't necessarily have 00:04:57.814 --> 00:05:01.614 different words for them. You know, I love the English language. 00:05:01.834 --> 00:05:04.094 I can love my wife and I can love a taco. 00:05:05.814 --> 00:05:10.054 Makes a lot of sense to me. Makes a lot of sense to me. Are you saying you don't love them the same? 00:05:10.194 --> 00:05:13.634 Is that what you're telling me? I'm saying... Maybe taco wasn't a good example 00:05:13.634 --> 00:05:17.454 for you. If my wife was holding a taco, wow. Oh. 00:05:17.894 --> 00:05:21.054 Now that's... That's double the love. Double the love. Wow. Yeah, 00:05:21.234 --> 00:05:23.614 but yeah, English language doesn't do a great job. 00:05:23.834 --> 00:05:30.754 Yeah, it does not do a great job. But I know once we talked a little bit about acquaintance. 00:05:30.794 --> 00:05:33.494 You have an acquaintance, which is somebody you know who they are, 00:05:33.494 --> 00:05:38.894 but you're not necessarily going to go out of your way to maybe have a deep 00:05:38.894 --> 00:05:40.274 conversation with them. 00:05:40.434 --> 00:05:42.914 It's, it's normally just like a, Hey, how you doing? You get the bro nod. 00:05:43.114 --> 00:05:44.634 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The head nod. 00:05:45.014 --> 00:05:50.114 And then you have like your, your friends who are like, you would maybe go out 00:05:50.114 --> 00:05:54.614 to lunch after church or just get together occasionally. 00:05:55.314 --> 00:05:59.434 But then you, I mean, and it's probably more than just three levels, 00:05:59.474 --> 00:06:01.174 but this is just what I'm thinking of right off. 00:06:01.474 --> 00:06:06.534 Then you have your, what I like to call your ride or dies, your homies, 00:06:06.814 --> 00:06:13.014 your homies, which is the person you can call anytime, day or night. 00:06:13.294 --> 00:06:19.134 And if they see that it's, they see who's calling, they're always picking up the phone. Yeah. 00:06:19.474 --> 00:06:21.734 Yeah. That's true. They're there for you. That's true. Yeah. 00:06:22.266 --> 00:06:24.266 Can you think of another layer? I mean, I'm sure there's more. 00:06:24.446 --> 00:06:27.646 I mean, there's definitely more, I think. But yeah, I think those are kind of 00:06:27.646 --> 00:06:29.386 like painting with broad strokes. 00:06:29.686 --> 00:06:33.406 Okay. That sounds right. Well, I'm not much of an artist, so painting with broad 00:06:33.406 --> 00:06:35.586 strokes might be the best thing for me. There you go. 00:06:35.726 --> 00:06:39.026 We talked that the New Testament has different words for friends. 00:06:39.486 --> 00:06:43.266 Again, because the language is just different. A statement like John 15, 00:06:43.486 --> 00:06:47.246 13 to 15, Jesus says, you are my friends if you do what I command. 00:06:47.246 --> 00:06:51.286 And the word there is phylos. It means loved one, dear friend, 00:06:51.306 --> 00:06:56.266 or companion. It emphasizes affection and closeness, someone who's bound in love. 00:06:56.406 --> 00:07:00.906 But then, like in Matthew 20, 13, the parable of the workers, 00:07:01.146 --> 00:07:05.966 and in Matthew 26, when Jesus actually talks to Judas, the one who's going to betray him. 00:07:06.546 --> 00:07:12.046 The word is heratios, which means comrade, companion, or associate. 00:07:12.306 --> 00:07:15.586 I'm not 100% sure if I'm pronouncing that right, but hey, it looks right to me. 00:07:15.786 --> 00:07:18.606 It can be less intimate. it is it can mean just 00:07:18.606 --> 00:07:22.946 an associate not necessarily a trusted companion right 00:07:22.946 --> 00:07:25.866 you know i thought of another layer since you said that when you 00:07:25.866 --> 00:07:28.846 said associate work yeah like you 00:07:28.846 --> 00:07:31.926 know people that you don't want to call felt forced fellowship 00:07:31.926 --> 00:07:34.746 but i mean i mean in a way there's a 00:07:34.746 --> 00:07:38.006 it kind of is like we we we live 00:07:38.006 --> 00:07:41.626 in circles of social we live 00:07:41.626 --> 00:07:45.026 in social circles that are sometimes created by power is bigger than us that's 00:07:45.026 --> 00:07:48.286 a very good way to put it yeah you know so you don't they always 00:07:48.286 --> 00:07:50.906 say you don't get to choose your family and that's true you also don't get to 00:07:50.906 --> 00:07:54.566 choose your co-workers unless you're the boss then i guess you do yeah yeah 00:07:54.566 --> 00:07:59.806 in a way i guess you could yeah yeah so so let's let's let's think about this 00:07:59.806 --> 00:08:05.546 for a little bit what it what is it that we think, 00:08:07.146 --> 00:08:11.446 determines a person who is a let's just let's start with acquaintance versus 00:08:11.446 --> 00:08:14.506 friend what's the difference in an acquaintance and a friend, 00:08:16.286 --> 00:08:18.966 trying to think of a good way to describe. 00:08:21.426 --> 00:08:25.286 An acquaintance of somebody like you probably you know their name you probably 00:08:25.286 --> 00:08:29.106 know their family then half the people i know are not my acquaintances okay 00:08:29.106 --> 00:08:32.866 all right all right fair enough i guess if you know you maybe not necessarily 00:08:32.866 --> 00:08:35.006 know their name know their face you've been around them, 00:08:35.366 --> 00:08:38.306 you are, you recognize one another. Okay. 00:08:38.786 --> 00:08:44.266 Okay. Okay. Where you say you see them in the store, you give the head nod or, Hey, how you doing? 00:08:44.306 --> 00:08:47.206 Or you might even have a short little conversation. Okay, cool. 00:08:47.326 --> 00:08:52.606 But it's not like, it's not like they're, you know, at the top of your list 00:08:52.606 --> 00:08:55.486 of people that you're texting or calling all the time. Okay. 00:08:55.666 --> 00:09:00.166 You know, like you're not necessarily, you don't necessarily know what's going 00:09:00.166 --> 00:09:02.906 on their life unless you run into them somewhere. Okay. Okay. 00:09:03.568 --> 00:09:06.608 Is that fair? I think that's fair. Yeah. I think that's fair. 00:09:06.728 --> 00:09:09.708 Well, with the book face, you can see all the good stuff that's happening in their life. 00:09:09.848 --> 00:09:12.508 Yeah, we might get into that by the end of the podcast. We probably will. 00:09:13.808 --> 00:09:21.108 Okay, cool. I like it. So then a friend would be someone who you are more aware, 00:09:21.108 --> 00:09:22.768 at least, of what's happening in their lives. 00:09:22.928 --> 00:09:26.988 I'm going to guess you probably know their name. I would hope. I would hope so. 00:09:27.248 --> 00:09:30.488 You know? Yeah. I mean, I would almost say that's a requirement. Okay. 00:09:30.908 --> 00:09:33.688 At that level, I would say. i'd probably agree with that 00:09:33.688 --> 00:09:36.468 and you're probably texting each other and call i 00:09:36.468 --> 00:09:39.608 mean and and probably getting together 00:09:39.608 --> 00:09:42.848 fairly regularly i mean not necessarily every 00:09:42.848 --> 00:09:46.068 week but right like you're getting together and doing things 00:09:46.068 --> 00:09:51.868 right okay i like it the people so i would say for me one of the differences 00:09:51.868 --> 00:09:56.248 between a friend and acquaintances if i see an acquaintance in the store i like 00:09:56.248 --> 00:10:00.548 hey how you doing it's good to see you you know how's everything if it's a friend 00:10:00.548 --> 00:10:03.068 then my kids are They're probably sighing in the background like, 00:10:03.228 --> 00:10:05.528 oh, we're going to be here forever. 00:10:09.668 --> 00:10:15.368 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What do you think that do you think that someone becomes an 00:10:15.368 --> 00:10:16.348 acquaintance to a friend? 00:10:16.688 --> 00:10:18.988 How does that happen? Is that intentional? 00:10:19.788 --> 00:10:24.288 I would I would say yes. I would say it needs it has to be intentional. 00:10:24.608 --> 00:10:28.868 Okay. Yeah. So like like there's something that maybe draws you to that person, 00:10:29.048 --> 00:10:32.128 whatever, you know, You find out you have something in common, 00:10:32.128 --> 00:10:37.188 some way, some conversation, or you end up at the same place together and you're 00:10:37.188 --> 00:10:38.968 like, oh, hey, I didn't know you like this or whatever. 00:10:39.448 --> 00:10:43.128 You find out you have something in common, then that usually sparks more conversation. 00:10:43.148 --> 00:10:46.388 And then you're like, you know what? We should get together sometime. 00:10:46.888 --> 00:10:51.028 And then I would say, you know, it builds from there. 00:10:52.352 --> 00:10:55.992 You start hanging out more, getting to know more about each other and likes 00:10:55.992 --> 00:10:59.512 and dislikes and all those things. Okay. 00:10:59.932 --> 00:11:03.972 I mean, that's what I think. Yeah. I mean, I would agree with that. I would agree with that. 00:11:04.552 --> 00:11:11.072 I think that there has to be, I don't think that you like accidentally become friends with somebody. 00:11:11.372 --> 00:11:15.092 Fair. Right? Yeah. I think you can accidentally become acquaintances or that 00:11:15.092 --> 00:11:15.932 like forced fellowship. 00:11:16.172 --> 00:11:19.072 Oh, absolutely. Yeah. absolutely yeah like you should say you 00:11:19.072 --> 00:11:22.372 show up to a friend's birthday party right and 00:11:22.372 --> 00:11:25.152 they have invited other people that you don't 00:11:25.152 --> 00:11:28.052 know right well you you become 00:11:28.052 --> 00:11:31.612 acquaintances with them because you meet them at the party and you know maybe 00:11:31.612 --> 00:11:35.372 you have a conversation that night and you run into them at the store two weeks 00:11:35.372 --> 00:11:39.752 from now and you're like hey i saw you at so-and-so's party like yeah yeah okay 00:11:39.752 --> 00:11:45.752 so then the next layer of friendship then would be the rotterd eyes your homies your 00:11:46.192 --> 00:11:52.532 family or whatever you want to call them, your BFFs, your BFFs, 00:11:52.532 --> 00:11:56.252 what is it that makes somebody that? 00:11:57.132 --> 00:12:01.272 That's a really good question, too. Man, that's a good one. 00:12:01.372 --> 00:12:05.012 Because obviously you have to go from acquaintance to friendship, 00:12:05.012 --> 00:12:11.212 and then that next step to become homies or ride or dies or whatever, 00:12:11.412 --> 00:12:14.932 there has to be something else. Mm-hmm. 00:12:15.752 --> 00:12:18.152 To draw you together, whether it's. 00:12:19.960 --> 00:12:26.220 Similarities in personality or similarities in your families or just things 00:12:26.220 --> 00:12:31.720 that you find out you're like, man, like we, we see eye to eye on a lot of things. 00:12:31.720 --> 00:12:34.620 Like we're just, we are there. 00:12:34.980 --> 00:12:36.480 You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. 00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:43.540 And the world I think looks at that differently than we do as Christians. 00:12:43.780 --> 00:12:48.500 Yes. I would say you're right. You know, I believe, I believe in divine friendship. 00:12:48.500 --> 00:12:54.820 I believe that there are people in our lives that God places in our path. Oh, yeah, for sure. 00:12:55.080 --> 00:13:02.360 That we are, that relationship is literally a gift from God. 00:13:02.580 --> 00:13:07.500 Yeah. I mean, we talked about some of that last, when we did the community podcast. 00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:12.540 Yeah. And like, I mean, I've said, I don't mind getting all emotional on the 00:13:12.540 --> 00:13:16.180 podcast. Like, I believe that my friendship with you is a divine gift from God. 00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:21.440 Agreed. because like we, we met, I mean, you guys are coming to church, 00:13:21.440 --> 00:13:27.140 but there was a time in my life where I needed a friend. 00:13:27.320 --> 00:13:29.920 And there are a lot of people who, of course, lots of people, 00:13:30.100 --> 00:13:31.760 even at church know that we are very close. 00:13:31.960 --> 00:13:36.600 And I've told them that, you know, COVID was going on, Jess was pregnant with 00:13:36.600 --> 00:13:41.060 Libby and we were, had a lot of questions and God, I just believe that was, 00:13:41.180 --> 00:13:42.640 that was literally divine appointment. 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:46.700 And I think there are other friendships like that. I think that there are people 00:13:46.700 --> 00:13:53.360 that God like literally places us in space and time and it is almost unavoidable 00:13:53.360 --> 00:13:57.840 that our past would cross with that person in the same way. For sure. Yeah. So. 00:13:58.640 --> 00:14:01.520 Yeah. I mean, same thing. Like I would say about, you know, I mentioned the 00:14:01.520 --> 00:14:03.100 friends with the special needs daughter. Yep. 00:14:03.280 --> 00:14:06.800 That Tara and I became friends with like same thing. It was amazing. 00:14:07.521 --> 00:14:13.641 We had seen them before, so we were borderline acquaintances, 00:14:13.641 --> 00:14:22.641 but I ended up on this mission trip with the husband of the couple, and next thing you know, 00:14:22.721 --> 00:14:26.061 we come back from this mission trip, and we're starting to talk about hanging 00:14:26.061 --> 00:14:27.181 out and getting together, 00:14:27.381 --> 00:14:30.301 and the rest is history. 00:14:30.461 --> 00:14:33.701 Yeah, I mean, 100%. That was divine intervention. 00:14:33.901 --> 00:14:38.021 Yeah, yeah. For sure. And I think Jesus even uses some of these terms, right? 00:14:38.161 --> 00:14:43.981 Because I mean, after all, like the parable of the good Samaritan is about neighbors, right? 00:14:44.321 --> 00:14:49.721 It's about that everyone that you interact with is in fact your neighbor, right? Right. 00:14:50.361 --> 00:14:55.161 It teaches us that, you know, even if you are just passing someone on the street 00:14:55.161 --> 00:14:56.941 that they you should treat them as a neighbor. 00:14:57.481 --> 00:15:04.721 But yet there is there is a closer a closer love for brothers and sisters that 00:15:04.721 --> 00:15:09.061 Jesus Jesus, I think, talks about. And we even see that in Jesus's ministry. 00:15:09.221 --> 00:15:11.741 Right. Like he had 12 disciples. But inside of that, he had, 00:15:11.781 --> 00:15:15.661 you know, three that were like his inner circle that, you know, 00:15:15.741 --> 00:15:16.541 they were maltransfiguration. 00:15:17.281 --> 00:15:20.741 They went to the garden with him. Like he, you know, Peter, James, 00:15:20.901 --> 00:15:25.481 John, like those were his like three core guys that he was in. 00:15:25.761 --> 00:15:30.561 Right. And so I think for us thinking of this as a Christian concept, 00:15:30.561 --> 00:15:36.541 it doesn't mean that we treat people any worse. 00:15:37.781 --> 00:15:41.321 Oh, yeah. No, definitely not. I agree with that. 00:15:41.461 --> 00:15:47.861 I mean, I would say as far as like helping each other out and doing things, 00:15:47.981 --> 00:15:53.121 I mean, I would help any of my friends as much as I would help my homies. 00:15:53.281 --> 00:15:54.701 Right. In that sense. Right. 00:15:56.250 --> 00:15:59.870 Yeah, I mean, maybe not at 2 o'clock in the morning, necessarily, 00:16:00.050 --> 00:16:01.850 depending on what it is, but, you know. Right, right. 00:16:02.250 --> 00:16:06.450 And there's definitely that, like, there's, like you said, like, 00:16:06.710 --> 00:16:09.870 there's about four or five people in my life that I knew that, 00:16:09.950 --> 00:16:13.870 like, if tomorrow morning at 2 o'clock I had an emergency, like, 00:16:13.910 --> 00:16:15.830 I would have no problem calling them. 00:16:16.270 --> 00:16:18.630 And it would not bother me, not 00:16:18.630 --> 00:16:22.070 even a little bit. Yeah, and it wouldn't bother them either. I hope not. 00:16:23.530 --> 00:16:27.770 Fair enough. In my mind, it wouldn't. You know, only one way to find out. 00:16:27.830 --> 00:16:30.770 That's true. That's true. Like, hey, man, I really need a burrito. 00:16:33.270 --> 00:16:36.670 Don't talk about a burrito because I didn't eat dinner. Oh, baby. 00:16:37.130 --> 00:16:38.710 Buc-ee's. We go to Buc-ee's anyway. 00:16:39.470 --> 00:16:44.910 So but that there is something to say about that, right? Like there are people 00:16:44.910 --> 00:16:46.150 you just wouldn't hesitate for. 00:16:46.510 --> 00:16:48.490 Yeah, it just wouldn't be a thing. Yeah. 00:16:48.930 --> 00:16:51.990 Some of the some of the scriptures talk about this, too. Here's what I think 00:16:51.990 --> 00:16:54.410 a biblical when we talk about a biblical. 00:16:54.990 --> 00:17:00.650 A biblical divine intervention friendship. There is a few that come out to me. 00:17:00.790 --> 00:17:03.710 One of them is Proverbs 27, 17. 00:17:04.110 --> 00:17:09.130 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. 00:17:09.130 --> 00:17:14.970 I think a biblical friendship, especially one of divine intention, 00:17:15.330 --> 00:17:19.710 is one that forms your life in Jesus. 00:17:19.890 --> 00:17:27.250 That person has not only access, but has permission to help shape you as a human being. 00:17:27.830 --> 00:17:30.530 Yes, I would agree with that. 00:17:30.530 --> 00:17:37.310 There are some people in our lives that say things to us, and even though they might be our friends, 00:17:37.670 --> 00:17:46.530 we resist their counsel or we resist their sharpening because either A, 00:17:46.670 --> 00:17:53.070 they don't know us well enough to actually know what's happening in our lives to speak that to us. 00:17:53.070 --> 00:18:00.330 Or B, there is not a high enough level of trust or camaraderie for that person 00:18:00.330 --> 00:18:04.270 to say that to you and counsel you in that way. 00:18:04.770 --> 00:18:09.470 Sure. Okay. So I think a biblical example of what a close friend is, 00:18:09.610 --> 00:18:12.850 it's somebody who you have that kind of relationship with. 00:18:12.930 --> 00:18:17.350 They could be like, look, dude, we need to talk about the 00:18:17.350 --> 00:18:20.130 anger issue that you had like i'm seeing this in 00:18:20.130 --> 00:18:23.790 your life or whatever that is they're they're actually molding 00:18:23.790 --> 00:18:29.170 you and and influencing who you are at the most core of your being sure you 00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:33.730 have friends like that i mean oh absolutely yeah absolutely yeah yeah yeah i'm 00:18:33.730 --> 00:18:37.730 trying i mean yeah i'm trying to think of a number right off hand i mean yeah 00:18:37.730 --> 00:18:41.870 probably four or five yeah six yeah people yeah absolutely, 00:18:42.900 --> 00:18:48.840 And related to that then, right, is then Proverbs just before that verse, 00:18:48.920 --> 00:18:54.480 a few verses before, it says, the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. 00:18:55.820 --> 00:19:03.900 Right? I think friends care about us enough to tell us the truth and to give us counsel. Yep. 00:19:04.420 --> 00:19:09.260 Right? Like, there are people, now it's a little different, and I actually thought 00:19:09.260 --> 00:19:12.520 maybe I might talk about this from a pastor's side for a minute. 00:19:12.520 --> 00:19:17.340 But there's there's there's definitely people that they say something and you're 00:19:17.340 --> 00:19:23.080 like, I don't have the ability to speak to them about this right now and recognizing that. 00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:27.400 And I think that's one of I will tell you, friendship is a very I think friendship 00:19:27.400 --> 00:19:29.700 is very hard for ministers. 00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:33.100 And your dad was a pastor. So maybe you know where this is coming from. 00:19:33.460 --> 00:19:38.580 It's very hard as a minister because I just told someone the other day. 00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:42.040 A big part of my job is relational management. 00:19:42.660 --> 00:19:49.260 Ooh, right. It is managing relationships between people, between people in the 00:19:49.260 --> 00:19:51.060 Lord, between people in the church. 00:19:51.260 --> 00:19:58.240 And so, and that's not a bad thing by any means, but I, as a minister get entry 00:19:58.240 --> 00:20:04.600 into some of the most intimate parts of people's lives because I'm a minister and. 00:20:05.064 --> 00:20:08.064 Sure. Okay. I see what you're saying. That makes sense. Yep. 00:20:08.464 --> 00:20:14.544 Right? Yeah. And so there's a level of trust that's built on the calling God 00:20:14.544 --> 00:20:17.964 has, not the friendship that we have. 00:20:18.144 --> 00:20:24.564 And so it can be complicated because while someone lets a minister into the 00:20:24.564 --> 00:20:26.084 most intimate parts of their lives, 00:20:26.384 --> 00:20:31.524 there's still this like, but there are people that I've talked about some of 00:20:31.524 --> 00:20:34.044 the most intimate things that they've ever went through. 00:20:34.044 --> 00:20:36.684 But I don't know their kids' names. 00:20:37.864 --> 00:20:43.444 Yeah. I mean, when you think about it, that's even, as a minister or pastor, 00:20:43.684 --> 00:20:51.804 however you want to phrase that, that is probably one of the only professions 00:20:51.804 --> 00:20:55.964 where you have some level of relationship with the person, 00:20:56.064 --> 00:21:02.164 but also the conversation or the emotional involvement doesn't necessarily match 00:21:02.164 --> 00:21:04.004 the friendship. Exactly. 00:21:04.604 --> 00:21:08.064 Because when you think about, you know, you think about someone who is a counselor 00:21:08.064 --> 00:21:13.344 there, they are literally a third party. 00:21:13.344 --> 00:21:18.964 You know, they're not a, they're not necessarily even an acquaintance because 00:21:18.964 --> 00:21:23.924 you're literally going to them to talk to them about whatever's happening in 00:21:23.924 --> 00:21:27.504 your life, whatever you're dealing with. But they have, they're not privy to any of it. 00:21:27.564 --> 00:21:30.344 They don't know anything about it until you tell them. Right. 00:21:30.624 --> 00:21:35.924 So yeah, that's definitely a complicated situation for sure. And even as a minister. 00:21:36.104 --> 00:21:41.204 So like right now, our congregation has about 300-ish members. 00:21:41.804 --> 00:21:46.724 So you could make this false assumption that John has 300 friends. 00:21:48.044 --> 00:21:53.764 Right. And that's not true. Yeah. I have 300 people that I love dearly, 00:21:53.864 --> 00:21:58.564 and I have 300 people that I will serve, but I know that, like you said, 00:21:58.664 --> 00:22:01.484 there's definitely layers to that, right? Oh, yeah. 00:22:01.844 --> 00:22:07.184 And to be clear to everybody that's listening, there's more than three layers. We simplified. 00:22:07.484 --> 00:22:11.244 Oh, absolutely. We definitely simplified this. Absolutely. Absolutely. For the podcast. Right. 00:22:11.564 --> 00:22:17.504 And I think that's one of those moments where it's hard in the context of a church, right? 00:22:17.504 --> 00:22:23.564 And we're kind of, in a way, we are blessed, I think, more now. 00:22:23.564 --> 00:22:27.844 I think that we have ways of connecting with people. 00:22:28.224 --> 00:22:31.484 Connecting with people is easier than it's ever been. 00:22:31.644 --> 00:22:36.784 Oh, absolutely. Facebook, Instagram, text messaging, all the things. 00:22:37.564 --> 00:22:42.584 Connecting is easy. Intimacy is hard. Yes, there you go. 00:22:42.844 --> 00:22:49.164 Right? And so we live in a world where we are more connected to people than 00:22:49.164 --> 00:22:57.164 we ever have been, but we are less intimate because I think we are all trying to manage things. 00:22:58.735 --> 00:23:01.475 Expectations and relationships. I mean, if I, I don't know how many friends 00:23:01.475 --> 00:23:03.295 I have on Facebook, it's at least seven. 00:23:05.555 --> 00:23:10.835 How many of those people would I have no access to their life? 00:23:11.395 --> 00:23:14.895 If, if the internet dropped off the face of the earth tomorrow, 00:23:15.775 --> 00:23:20.455 how many of those people would I literally never have another piece of contact 00:23:20.455 --> 00:23:23.675 with for the rest of my life? If not for. 00:23:24.455 --> 00:23:27.755 Oh yeah. I'm going to say, I don't know how many friends I have on Facebook 00:23:27.755 --> 00:23:30.735 either, but I'm going to say more than 50%. 00:23:31.375 --> 00:23:36.415 More than 50% of those people, if Facebook ended or whatever, 00:23:37.095 --> 00:23:42.135 more than 50% of those people, I probably wouldn't even cross their path again. 00:23:42.515 --> 00:23:47.775 Well, I just want to let you know that you have 569 friends. 00:23:48.035 --> 00:23:49.815 Oh, well, thank you for letting me know that. Good job, dude. 00:23:50.175 --> 00:23:51.855 Good job. I bet you have over 1,000. 00:23:52.395 --> 00:23:55.755 Just over 1,000. I have 1,033. 00:23:56.775 --> 00:24:00.975 1,033. Which is kind of depressing when then you look at how many people like 00:24:00.975 --> 00:24:02.135 actually like your stuff. 00:24:04.175 --> 00:24:09.075 But all that to say, do I have a thousand and thirty three friends? No. 00:24:09.735 --> 00:24:13.115 Do I have a thousand and thirty three acquaintances? Well, obviously. Yeah. 00:24:13.755 --> 00:24:19.655 Right. And so that's that that trick. Right. Social media. Man, what a horrible term. 00:24:20.275 --> 00:24:25.275 Yeah. What a horrible term. Because it's I don't know what you would call it. What would you call it? 00:24:26.895 --> 00:24:29.595 I mean i i don't think that's what jesus had in store for 00:24:29.595 --> 00:24:38.335 us do you no no i don't think so at all i don't no yeah no i mean yeah it's 00:24:38.335 --> 00:24:43.455 hard to even it's hard to even say like what it would have been like in ancient 00:24:43.455 --> 00:24:48.075 times that would yeah that's hard for me to even fathom honestly yeah. 00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:57.120 Because, I mean, even, you know, even our generation growing up was the beginning 00:24:57.120 --> 00:25:01.940 of like instant messenger and all of those things where somebody who in the 00:25:01.940 --> 00:25:05.580 past may have just been an acquaintance. Right. 00:25:06.220 --> 00:25:12.040 It kind of changed things because you were able to talk to them more than you 00:25:12.040 --> 00:25:13.200 would have in the past. Yeah. 00:25:13.660 --> 00:25:18.120 Yeah. So, yeah, it's hard for me to even imagine things any differently. 00:25:18.600 --> 00:25:21.420 Yeah. Yeah. strange it it is 00:25:21.420 --> 00:25:24.320 it's very interesting because you know 00:25:24.320 --> 00:25:27.200 one of the things i often hear especially in the 00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:29.900 the older generation is talking about like 00:25:29.900 --> 00:25:32.760 oh nobody sits on the porch and you know on sunday 00:25:32.760 --> 00:25:35.420 afternoons and talks anymore like there's not a 00:25:35.420 --> 00:25:38.220 need to do that right i mean before 00:25:38.220 --> 00:25:41.480 that's how you that's how you communicated yeah right and 00:25:41.480 --> 00:25:44.440 then now there's just not that um because i mean 00:25:44.440 --> 00:25:47.480 i'm an old soul in a new body and so i mean there's no 00:25:47.480 --> 00:25:51.140 better part of like i would love that like that would make me happy 00:25:51.140 --> 00:25:53.840 as a lark i mean you and i are both social people just sitting on 00:25:53.840 --> 00:25:56.660 the porch just sitting on the porch and people coming by or going over and 00:25:56.660 --> 00:26:00.140 spending time but man like there's just 00:26:00.140 --> 00:26:04.220 well why would i do that i can just text them yeah why would i do that just 00:26:04.220 --> 00:26:08.900 i could just call them yeah i mean not not to change i mean everything's so 00:26:08.900 --> 00:26:13.820 busy now too yeah that sitting on the sitting on the porch is like all right 00:26:13.820 --> 00:26:17.880 i there's something else i gotta be doing? I can't just sit here on the porch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:26:18.060 --> 00:26:21.300 Which is interesting because then, you know, one of the things that I've noticed, 00:26:21.420 --> 00:26:25.760 and maybe you have too, is the amount of people and the amount of things now 00:26:25.760 --> 00:26:31.120 that they label themselves to be family, right? 00:26:32.062 --> 00:26:36.502 Or which, you know, more like the friend term for family. But that bugs me. 00:26:36.902 --> 00:26:41.482 Like, you know, you'll hear people like, oh, come to work at Taco Bell because we're all a family. 00:26:42.142 --> 00:26:47.242 Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. No. You know what I mean? Like, people are so desperate 00:26:47.242 --> 00:26:49.402 for those relationships. Yeah. 00:26:49.702 --> 00:26:53.402 Because there is something that, I mean, God made us to be intimate with him 00:26:53.402 --> 00:26:56.202 and then intimate with one another in him. 00:26:56.202 --> 00:27:01.642 And when people are missing that, like the fact that you are going to turn to, 00:27:02.022 --> 00:27:07.462 you know, the that we have to project as humans of, you know, well. 00:27:07.982 --> 00:27:12.582 This is your family, you know, and we use that a lot like sports teams use that 00:27:12.582 --> 00:27:13.782 like this is your family. 00:27:13.782 --> 00:27:18.722 And it's like my family, according to the scriptures, my family is my biological 00:27:18.722 --> 00:27:21.802 family, and my family is those who are together in Christ. 00:27:22.022 --> 00:27:27.142 And I think it's very interesting that as much as we have going on, as connected as we are, 00:27:27.242 --> 00:27:34.502 people are starving to have intimacy with other human beings that is being fabricated 00:27:34.502 --> 00:27:39.862 by man-made institution, and people will run after it. 00:27:39.862 --> 00:27:45.562 You know, and really, I would say, I can't remember where I heard the statistic, 00:27:45.822 --> 00:27:52.342 but a lot of younger, younger people are getting back into church. 00:27:52.502 --> 00:27:55.962 You know, there was a strong decline for a long, long, long time. 00:27:55.962 --> 00:28:01.522 And I really think going back to the community podcast, I really think that's 00:28:01.522 --> 00:28:05.482 what's bringing the younger, younger people, younger families, younger couples, 00:28:05.842 --> 00:28:12.822 younger individuals back to church is they're searching for not only Jesus, but those friendships. 00:28:12.822 --> 00:28:20.082 Because it's easy to get the acquaintances at the bar or at the party or at 00:28:20.082 --> 00:28:27.382 whatever and maybe a little bit of friendship but to get a real divine friendship. 00:28:28.821 --> 00:28:32.621 Church is the best place to find it. It is. I don't know. Maybe you've seen the little meme. 00:28:32.821 --> 00:28:35.961 If I can find it, I'll share it on our podcast page. But it's like a bunch of 00:28:35.961 --> 00:28:37.641 guys sitting around a boardroom. It's like a little cartoon. 00:28:38.001 --> 00:28:39.941 And it's like, how are we going to go to the church? And the guy's like, 00:28:39.981 --> 00:28:41.001 oh, we need fog machines. 00:28:41.261 --> 00:28:45.621 And this guy's like, oh, we need to have a big band with all the lights. 00:28:45.681 --> 00:28:48.381 And somebody else is like, oh, we need to have giveaways every week. 00:28:48.501 --> 00:28:51.841 And then the guy at the end table is like, we need to have transparent relationships 00:28:51.841 --> 00:28:54.961 where we care about one another and empower one another and love each other 00:28:54.961 --> 00:28:57.381 like Jesus. And then it shows them like throwing the guy out the window. 00:28:57.881 --> 00:29:00.281 Right. I mean, there's a lot of truth there, right? Yep. You're right. 00:29:00.401 --> 00:29:02.321 You're right. It's more about a production than... Right. 00:29:02.441 --> 00:29:08.341 And I will say, dude, I was gone for two Sundays, and I missed people. 00:29:08.781 --> 00:29:11.761 Yes. I was itching to get back to church. 00:29:11.901 --> 00:29:17.081 I was giddy on Sunday morning about, it's church day. It is time to go. 00:29:18.441 --> 00:29:21.141 Yeah, I was excited to be back in the house to worship the Lord, 00:29:21.181 --> 00:29:22.381 but I worship the Lord all the time. 00:29:22.921 --> 00:29:26.821 I was excited to see my friends and worship the Lord together with them. Yep. 00:29:27.481 --> 00:29:32.181 Absolutely. And that man, that is just, that's amazing, right? It is. 00:29:32.421 --> 00:29:36.721 And you even talk about, that's the critique that I've heard because for a while 00:29:36.721 --> 00:29:37.761 we had the megachurch movement. 00:29:38.161 --> 00:29:41.661 Yeah. And everybody's going to these big megachurches. And more and more people 00:29:41.661 --> 00:29:44.861 that I've talked to, it's like they went to a megachurch for a while, 00:29:44.961 --> 00:29:48.041 but then they realized there was an intimacy that they were missing. 00:29:48.261 --> 00:29:52.501 Yeah. And so a lot of those folks have now found smaller places to worship and 00:29:52.501 --> 00:29:58.321 smaller congregations to get that camaraderie, that relationship that they want. 00:29:58.421 --> 00:30:04.021 And I think, like, ultimately, that is what Jesus wants for us, to have those. 00:30:04.861 --> 00:30:08.581 100%. I agree. Yeah. Yeah. So last question. 00:30:09.581 --> 00:30:17.561 How do we use our friendships to show other people Jesus? Hmm. 00:30:18.601 --> 00:30:23.801 I mean, I would say, you know, when we're together around other people that 00:30:23.801 --> 00:30:30.621 maybe aren't our friends or just, I mean, just see the love shared between one another. 00:30:31.181 --> 00:30:36.061 I really think that's, I mean, you almost don't even need to do anything. 00:30:36.201 --> 00:30:39.721 People can see it, whether you're doing anything or not. 00:30:39.841 --> 00:30:45.341 People just see that there's a different kind of connection. Right. 00:30:45.918 --> 00:30:50.058 And it makes them ask questions often. And I think that's the best, 00:30:50.058 --> 00:30:53.078 best way to be an example in public with our friendships. Yeah. 00:30:53.578 --> 00:30:59.518 And, and to understand, like, so it's okay to show that first of all, 00:30:59.558 --> 00:31:02.598 I think as guys, like lots of guys can resist that, right? 00:31:02.698 --> 00:31:05.438 Like for sure, you know, it's okay to, to show that. 00:31:05.578 --> 00:31:12.178 And then it's okay to want that kind of connection. 00:31:12.398 --> 00:31:14.278 Like, oh, absolutely. You know? Yeah. 00:31:14.838 --> 00:31:18.598 And there's definitely, I mean, you and I both, we are married to introverted women. Yep. 00:31:19.178 --> 00:31:22.918 We are. And so it plays differently for different people because, 00:31:22.918 --> 00:31:27.598 you know, Tara and Jess are both, 00:31:27.998 --> 00:31:35.158 their idea of a good time is sitting alone and reading a book or watching a 00:31:35.158 --> 00:31:36.978 movie or doing whatever they do or like, 00:31:37.178 --> 00:31:43.538 so Jess has intimate friendships and her intimate friendships look very different 00:31:43.538 --> 00:31:45.638 than mine because we are made differently. 00:31:46.098 --> 00:31:49.598 Right. Sure. And so we're not saying like in order to have an intimate friend, 00:31:49.818 --> 00:31:51.138 you have to be together all the time. 00:31:51.318 --> 00:31:54.718 That's, that's not necessarily true. No, it's the person that you, 00:31:54.718 --> 00:31:56.358 you bear your whole self with. 00:31:56.758 --> 00:32:01.838 Yep. And that's also part of how, how you become like you find someone that's, 00:32:01.978 --> 00:32:07.318 that's like you and, and can have a friendship the same way that you do. 00:32:08.138 --> 00:32:13.798 Absolutely. Absolutely. So in short, The Bible calls a friend somebody who loves, 00:32:14.198 --> 00:32:18.218 somebody who stands by you, someone who encourages, speaks truth, 00:32:18.458 --> 00:32:21.018 and ultimately points you to God. 00:32:21.598 --> 00:32:25.518 Last thing, friendship is covenantal. 00:32:26.598 --> 00:32:32.058 So I think that's the other thing that we forget. As far as the Christian context 00:32:32.058 --> 00:32:35.418 goes, friendship is not a contractual relationship. 00:32:35.738 --> 00:32:39.698 So in a contractual relationship, you get something and I get something. 00:32:40.418 --> 00:32:44.238 And if you don't give what you're supposed to, then I'm released from my bond. 00:32:45.398 --> 00:32:49.778 And biblical friendship is covenantial, right? It is more than that. 00:32:49.958 --> 00:32:53.898 It is one of the things that I often say to couples who are getting married 00:32:53.898 --> 00:32:57.778 is the second that you think that marriage is 50-50, you believe the lie. 00:32:58.058 --> 00:33:02.058 Because marriage is never 50-50 because that's perfect. 00:33:02.298 --> 00:33:05.758 And depending on the circumstance, one of you is always going to be giving more 00:33:05.758 --> 00:33:09.978 than the other, just depending. And so I think we must also remember that in 00:33:09.978 --> 00:33:14.738 Christian friendship, it is deeper than just a give and take relationship. 00:33:16.300 --> 00:33:19.860 Yep, I agree 100%. Yeah, and maybe that's one of the things that makes people 00:33:19.860 --> 00:33:23.380 ride or die, makes people your best friends and things like that. 00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:27.680 There's not this expectation of, well, I give and so you get, 00:33:27.820 --> 00:33:30.760 and the second that is imbalanced, we're out of here, right? 00:33:30.940 --> 00:33:34.840 Yeah. It is a covenantial, like, this is what we're doing together. Yeah. 00:33:35.480 --> 00:33:39.840 No, I like it. Good stuff, man. Well, I'm glad that we could unpack that. 00:33:40.020 --> 00:33:43.180 I'm glad that we could unpack that. I'm glad I could do it with my friend. 00:33:44.320 --> 00:33:45.920 You said that sarcastically again. 00:33:46.100 --> 00:33:50.320 No. We're going to have to look up a counselor after this. All right. 00:33:50.660 --> 00:33:55.900 If you know a good relational counselor, just holler at us. Just send it to 00:33:55.900 --> 00:33:57.840 the show. Unbelievable. And we'll see what we can. 00:33:58.340 --> 00:34:00.740 It's actually pretty believable. Yeah, it is. You're right. Okay. 00:34:01.060 --> 00:34:02.540 Well, thanks for tuning in to Life on 11. 00:34:02.800 --> 00:34:05.900 Today, we discovered that the Bible calls a friend more than just a companion. 00:34:06.080 --> 00:34:08.860 It's someone who loves at all times. They speak truth into your life. 00:34:09.160 --> 00:34:12.580 And they point you towards Jesus, the ultimate friend who laid down his life 00:34:12.580 --> 00:34:15.780 for us. And so as you head into this week, we want to challenge you to think 00:34:15.780 --> 00:34:18.920 of one friend you can encourage, pray for, or simply remind of God's love. 00:34:19.300 --> 00:34:22.980 Friendship is a gift, and when it's rooted in Christ, it becomes a reflection of his kingdom. 00:34:23.140 --> 00:34:26.080 So if this episode encouraged you, share it with one of your friends, 00:34:26.100 --> 00:34:29.340 and don't forget to subscribe so you won't miss what's coming next. 00:34:29.480 --> 00:34:32.960 Until then, keep it living life on 11, full out for God's glory. 00:34:33.240 --> 00:34:34.860 See you next time. Later.