well hello all you beautiful
people you know what time it
is ladies and gents guys and dolls and
everyone in
between gather around get you something
real nice to sip on and comfy to slip
on cuz it's time for Smite Club here's
your hosts Chelsea and Hannah
[Music]
[Laughter]
hey everybody and welcome to Smut Club
i'm Hannah and I am Chelsea and this is
the show where we are two licensed
mental health therapists who uh read and
review varying calibers of smut often
while daydrinking
did I I feel like I haven't said the
spiel in a while and I feel like it
didn't roll off the tongue as easily i
was going to say you did it in a
different order but I liked it yeah cuz
I couldn't remember the order but I was
like I feel like that covered the basics
you did you hit all points that's what
matters like what also we're like over
70 plus episodes in yeah you guys get it
i keep saying it and at this point I
don't know who it's for like unless you
just picked up this as your first
episode and then welcome and I was going
to say it's for you
only for you and no one else i feel like
at this point it's part of our flow like
we don't know how to start like how do
we how do you start without that like
apparently like I did today which was
awkward so we got to go back
okay all that said today we are
reviewing Butterfly by Joe Briner it is
listed as a dark hockey college romance
that feels like a lot of trope that's
only like half the tropes oh good okay
oh yes the very good we've got step
siblings we've got bullying we've got
morally
gray situations going there's
there's so much happening
it's so fully
sent and if you're not in that headsp
space it's probably not going to be the
book for you in that moment right but
I'm like if you're willing to suspend
belief and just like lean into the
number of tropes in this book I'm like
this is so much for 244 pages i have to
be in such right place for a bully
romance yes because the majority of the
time I'm just like I don't like this
everybody just be nice well and so we're
obviously about to hop into it the the
two main characters we have Mason and
Lesie um and I will say most of the
bullying takes place like right at the
beginning okay which somehow makes it
feel better
even enough okay close enough so it's
enough to let you know like the bullying
happened but not so much that you're
like deeply uncomfortable because
they're so mean yeah yes um very much
the the energy where you're like if you
look back on it and they refer back to
it throughout the book repeatedly but I
also feel like the way it's described
like is palatable enough that you're
like okay I can I can move beyond this
right so we start the the prologue is
Mason at his dad's wedding um his mom
passed away 5 years ago very tragically
like rare illness sort of situation um
and his dad is getting remarried he's
not super thrilled about it and I just
like we're starting off with a bang
Hannah i like my the first quote I
already have highlighted at 18 I'd
already been with dozens of girls around
my age and a handful of older women too
all forgotten as soon as I
came a
But did they come
no they didn't yes he's like revered as
a sex god at 18 at 18 yes just graduated
high school sure he's supposed to go to
Harvard in the fall okay um and play
hockey oh I didn't know Harvard had a
hockey team i don't know if they if they
know they have a hockey team either
never checked have no idea oh god so at
the wedding he looks out and on the
dance floor sees like the most beautiful
girl that he's ever seen in his entire
life and he's like dibs mine i will
conquer this woman i need to go
introduce myself immediately um and then
his dad walks up and is like oh yeah
that's your new stepsister whoops yeah
how did they never meet before the
wedding
we don't really have a lot of details on
the parents'
relationship like and they're like
they're clearly very happy together it's
a it's a good marriage for them like but
it also kind of sounds like it was maybe
more their marriage was kept more
privately um Right right their
relationship was about them yes and both
of their kids are seniors in high school
at that point who he plays hockey very
competitively and then she dances and
like I think is like a dance major sort
of in so like
full Yeah i'm like I don't know how long
they dated before they decided to get
married but yes apparently that's
independent they're on their own sorry
i'm just going to need you to suspend
belief and if if we can't suspend belief
about the fact that they hadn't met yet
we're [ __ ] for the rest of it
understood yeah got it got it got it
well I did read a book recently where
that happened like but it was
established that her mom was like super
flighty and would do this kind of thing
and had only been dating the guy for
like 4 weeks and so it was like What
book was that girl i don't remember i
think I read it though but they met in a
bar or something and she didn't know
that it was him yes but he knew that it
was her that situation yes and then
everybody died
i'll maybe I'll review it if I can
remember the name of it first step
remember the book how many books did you
end up reading in 2024 exactly 300 good
for you i know yeah i think I
hit 160
which for having a toddler running
around and working full time I feel
really good about that number and you
should it well cuz I All right i'm
absolutely that [ __ ] that sets my
Goodreads goal low so I don't disappoint
myself andor stress myself out cuz I'm
like I don't set the goal to 160 for the
year because then I like would feel very
stressed about maintaining that pace and
so I set my good readads goal to 52
books a book a week is reasonable yeah
yeah now mind you at the time of
recording this episode we're like it's
three almost 3 weeks in yeah and I'm
like okay we're already like 15 10 to I
don't know how many but I roughly 10 to
15 books in at this point
so I think we're already beyond our goal
but I Well I like using good readads to
track but I also don't want to be
stressed out if I don't keep a certain
pace yeah so that's how I've that's the
that's the way I found to manage my
stress levels about it well at the end
of the year I was listening to books and
reading them at the same time which I
used to do all the time but I really
haven't but I was like I'm almost there
i'm going to listen at like 1.5 speed
yes absolutely but I definitely lowered
my goal for this year i can't listen to
like anything on a standards like I
don't listen to podcasts i can't listen
to books on standard speed it's always
like time and a half two is too fast
yeah two is far too fast unless they're
like a super like slow talker but I feel
like at like the cadence with like which
you and I speak two is too fast that
sounds stressful yeah anyway yeah all
that said um so now he's mad about it
yeah so now he's like big mad that he
like has seen the most perfect woman in
the world and she's off limits but like
and every other line at this point is
already like thinking about her lips
like around his [ __ ] and I'm like
good sir this is so out of pocket so
fast have you even spoken to her like
buddy no he has not um his dad
introduces them and he's immediately a
dick to her where his dad's like "Hey
like this is my son." She's like "Oh I
guess that makes you my new
stepbrother." And Mason goes "I see you
got your intelligence from your mom."
like that big of a dick from the start
and that big of a dick the entire book
like he's unapologetically himself this
entire time and so Leslie's like not
really about this new this new
stepbrother um but he ends up excusing
himself goes to grab his girlfriend off
the dance floor takes her to the pool
house and like demands she like gets on
her knees and suck him off while he's
thinking about Leslie the entire time so
that's that's the prologue right sure
that's where we're starting
it's like Joe wants me to hate Mason
like
Yeah i feel very conflicted about Mason
because if you're looking for a
possessive morally gray I will do
anything for you right right kind of
alpha male i don't know i once again
he's 18
i I couldn't take some of some of the
things where we go in this book
seriously but yeah the I feel conflicted
about Mason the entire time um so we
switch to Leslie's point of view now and
the whole book is is dual point of view
going back and forth between them and
her mom and Paul Paul is Mason's dad are
about to leave on their honeymoon and
she wants to go back to Harlem and like
stay on her friend's couch for the
summer she's like "I don't want to be in
this large house with this random
[ __ ] stepbrother like I I'll go back
to Harlem and like hang out with my
people while you go on your honeymoon."
And her mom is like "No like nonsense
like Mason will keep you company." And
Mason is like "Nah about that life." And
like he just wants to rage with his
friends mhm
and is like throwing parties every night
where to the point where like Leslie
finally like is like I can't sleep this
has been going on incessantly so she
goes out to the pool house where all of
them are
partying mason has one girl between his
legs and another girl sucking his neck
like
yep the 18-year-old sex god
but all I'm hearing is that the women do
all the work i'm not hear like I'm not
like I'm not hearing how he's
contributing like I don't get
it but like no all I could think was I
know that you have not seen the movie
Barbarian because you don't watch those
things but part of part of the premise
of that is like this woman books an
Airbnb and this random white dude shows
up and says he also booked the same
rental on a different website
and he is so kind and lovely it's Bill
Scarsgard he's so kind and lovely but
you're immediately like "No I don't know
you." Like I wouldn't stay with this guy
even if he was really nice like I don't
know you yeah you're like "This feels
like murder." When you haven't spent
time developing a f a new family unit
i would probably let her go back to
Harlem just throwing it out there yeah
yeah that's spoilies bill Scarsgard
turned out to not be the bad guy at all
and he stayed lovely the whole time i
was hoping yeah yeah and now I really
don't need to watch it you really don't
because that's not the point of the
movie at all
i'm sorry at this point the number of
times that I look at my husband and I'm
like "What do you want to watch?" And
he's just like "Anything that's not
animated for the love of God." He's like
"I just want to watch real people on the
screen."
Oh god parenthood it's the best um okay
so Leslie goes out there because she
wants to tell them all to turn it down
and Mason just like is like looking at
her and like making eye contact with her
while the girls between his legs and the
other one is like kissing his neck and
so she ends up pulling his friend Emory
out on the dance floor and he's like
"Okay fine." Like if we're here to rage
let's rage and he is not about that like
he is automatically like you're not
welcome here like makes a big show of it
and she ends up like running back to the
house and is like this is not a great
setup and then the bullying and like
prank feels like prank is too light you
know like but you might call it a prank
it's bullying mhm uh that's where it
like really kind of starts to escalate
where she is supposed to go for her
first dance class at the local studio
and he [ __ ] in her point shoes
oh no yeah cuz like
Yeah and she like had another pair
you don't do that well then like she
puts a dead fish in his car
and it's just like going back and forth
with that but like his parents end up
getting back or their parents end up
coming back from the honeymoon and then
this is like continuing to go on just
like silently under their noses and so
like Mason mails all of her underwear to
the dance studio
good yeah and then like the other girls
are like "How did you get on Mason's bad
side?" Like he's not someone to like go
against like the lore of this
18-year-old recently graduated high
school senior
and so uh she picks the lock on Mason's
bedroom door and goes and she's like "I
know he mentioned that he had lucky
hockey skates i don't know which ones
are the lucky ones." So she just takes
all of his hockey skates and and donates
them
and so then the next night she wakes up
and feels like someone's watching her
he's just in her room like staring at
her in the dark while she sleeps and
it's very like this whole like this
means war sort of right like you've
crossed a line now like me sending your
underwear to the dance studio and coming
in your point shoes is fine right but
messing with my hockey skates is not
fine yeah so his response is that the
next day she's driving and gets pulled
over and her car gets searched for drugs
that are in her car
yeah that's not a prank anymore like it
was questionable anyway but but there's
absolutely some white privilege going on
in this situation because she calls her
new stepdad and apparently he's able to
get her out of the situation sure so it
you know it wasn't that big of a deal oh
to be white and have money
oh to be Caucasian and affluent how
great would it would it be
i'm like "What?" Like "That's okay
fine." Once again we just likeending
that's cool it's the whole time we're
like "Sure why not that too?"
So her response to the drugs in her car
is she uh emails Harvard and tells them
he cheated on his AP exams
like so for the record Leslie's not in
like completely innocent here like Mason
is doing some [ __ ] up [ __ ] and Leslie
is also doing some [ __ ] up [ __ ] in
response she's absolutely matching his
freak already
so this goes on for a while um and then
like Leslie like calls for a truce
eventually and is like this is
exhausting and just like isn't fun and
so a few days after that she's taking a
midnight swim and she hears a splash and
like Ma Mason joins her and is like
swimming close to her
and pulls her up to him and like he's
obviously hard and I'm like "Yeah sure
okay a truce means [ __ ]
that sort of energy." Obviously yeah
well and then she's like "You don't want
this you hate me." And he's like "Yes."
like as he like pulls her against him
he's like "This is hatred want to hate
me
back."
[Laughter]
Okay he
ultimately lets her go but it's like the
first like intimate like she's not fully
against it and Right right yeah but it's
the first time either of them has been
explicit about the attraction yeah like
that's where the first kind
of and is that I guess maybe it explicit
about the it's still feel like it feels
vague like a lot of it just like
alluding to like the what's there i
don't know so did he get like his offer
from Harvard rescended or is he still
going to Harvard well we'll get Oh sorry
we'll get there in a second okay because
so the next day he's having his friends
over for a pool party and so Leslie like
he's like "Come out and join us." And so
she does and she goes out and she has
her headphones in and she's just she's
been dozing by the pool and then one of
the guys and um Emory the dude that
she'd kind of been dancing with and
Tiffany who is Mason's on again offagain
girlfriend the one that was at the
wedding with him at the very least or
invite her invite Leslie into the pool
with them and then when she sits up she
didn't realize they had untied her
swimsuit when she was dozing so when she
gets up her swimsuit just falls off and
she's just naked in front of all of them
m and like the look on Mason's face is
pissed and she's like is he pissed at me
like what like I does he really hate me
like this much um and so she like runs
back in the house and is like I'm
[ __ ] done i'm out i'm not doing this
i'm going to Bee's house her best friend
and she's like "I'm not staying here the
rest of the summer it's not worth it."
Yeah 1,000% said "I tried." Yeah not
worth it like looks at him and is like
"You won." Like okay the truth meant
nothing got it yeah very much
um so cut to Mason's perspective he's
now standing alone in her room she's
left he knows he [ __ ] up but also he
was not part of that prank he's like he
didn't realize he's like I didn't know
that Tiffany cared that like would care
that much that like I was showing
interest in someone else or like that
she was that jealous and so before
everyone like Mason kicked everyone out
of the house but before they left he
like made everyone go through their
phones and delete like delete all of the
photos of Leslie and also like you know
because he's an 18-year-old alpha sex
god is like send them to me first
i was going to say he threatened all of
them within an inch of their life if
they
got I just assumed he was like send them
to me and then delete
them
sorry yeah so Got it got it got it do
you want to airdrop it or what's the
quickest
way
um but he's also like standing in her
room while it's dark and he's like
"She's mine i'll fix it." Like and then
his dad is in the doorway and is just
like "I don't know what you did but like
if you hurt that poor girl like
things are not cool." And he's like "I'm
going to make it right." Like I know
like I've got this i'm going to make it
right he threatens Emory his best friend
and his best friend's like he's like "If
you cuz he was the one who who did it
who who did it right?" And then he like
facetimes Tiffany who's nude in bed
already and like hold and she's like
"Hey baby." Just like holding her tits
for him so he takes a screenshot and is
like "And if you ever do anything to
Leslie these photos will get
leaked." Okay fine
so okay buddy so now it's a month later
you literally almost got her arrested on
drug
charges what yeah and they
untied her bathing
suit okay i'm sorry i'm suspended i'm
sorry but he can't let other people see
his woman like that you know I
unsuspended for a second because I
forgot but I've resuspended you got to
resuspend it's the only way this works
if you unsuspend
you see where it leads the most
believable thing would be if he had them
send him copies of the pictures that's
that's
where Sorry
okay the most believable thing is that
he now has a stalker collage of all of
the nude photos that they sent him
okay okay so it's a month later uh
following Leslie's perspective it is her
first day at Tab University okay who I
don't know but apparently their hockey
team plays Cornell at some point in the
season so okay you know that that realm
of of schools um she's moving in the
last of her clothes and her last load of
boxes and when she like runs into a wall
that's six foot three named
Mason I hated everything about it um and
she's like "The [ __ ] are you doing
here?" And he's like "I transferred from
Harvard i just wanted to see your face."
Was it everything you hoped it would be
yeah it
was yeah i feel like this is one of
those books where we're rapidly
approaching the point where I just keep
going okay because I was there in the
prologue like I was trying so hard sure
why not of course obviously yeah you do
you Mace get it bud um he offers to
help pick up her boxes and help finish
moving her in but he's also like "Why
are you like your shorts so short?" He
like he doesn't want he doesn't want
people seeing his legs nope yeah no so
they like get to her dorm and as he's
putting the boxes down her creepy RA
shows up who like clearly is a little
interested in her and like "Yeah I just
wanted to check if you needed any help
like nailing art to the
wall." And Mason's like he'll be nailing
nothing to any wall in this freaking
dorm the RA is like "Because you're the
art and I'm the nail lol."
Like "Did I ever tell you about one time
I had someone chat me?"
And I was overseas i was in Europe for
the summer i was 17 and I turned 18 as
soon as I came back it was a friend who
was already legally an adult okay and
chatted me and was like "Dibs on your
leg 18 kiss." and then followed it up
with a chat that said "You're cute i'm
cute sometimes cute people do cute
things together." Nope
i've thought about that line for 15
years
i can see why
16 years oh god that hurts it does a
little bit oh
god for so many reasons yeah but that's
kind of the blatant energy the RA is
giving and Mason's not having it and
just he's like "You won't be nailing
anything to the walls." And like slams
the door in his face and Leslie's like
"That's rude what you just did." And
Mason's like "He wants to [ __ ] you." And
she's like "Well that's none of your
business." And Mason is very much the
anything that has to do with you is my
business
okay
sure mhm why not Mace
obviously like you've done nothing for
her come on now truly you've carried a
box outside of that you've made her life
hell for months right carrying one box
does not suddenly make you like the man
of her dreams you're a douche like come
on Mace you might be an 18-year-old sex
god but you're still an [ __ ] and I
haven't seen any evidence of that to
this point because all the women are
doing all the work i'm just saying he
tells her that now that they're not
under their parents' roof he's taking
what's his
they start kissing okay and then his
hand starts to
wander up the you know maybe he does
like the short shorts maybe maybe they
do serve a purpose um but then he
discovers that she's waxed and
immediately is like "Who's that for who
did you do this for
who gets to see what?" Like that whole
energy and she's like "No one i'm a
virgin." And then he's like "Yeah [ __ ]
right you're a virgin." She's like "I'm
a dancer do you know how tight leotards
are [ __ ] gets awkward."
I don't miss being in a dance class no
the smell of that studio oh god like all
very clean people but like it's just
it's a lot of bodies well it's a lot of
polyester it's a lot of
spandex it's just a
lot have you watched or did you even
know it
existed on Max there's a roller skating
competition show
no it's fantastic i should have known
that well you do now i do now
it's all of the outfits you want it to
be and more yes i'm looking forward to
that and they're all so
impressive but I also say that as
someone who's only tried to roller skate
once in her entire life and it was on my
25th birthday and I haven't ever
attempted again
so anyone who roller skates is very
impressive to me
if you just have them on it's impressive
to me i grew up rollerblading and so I
don't like I don't think it computed
that it would be that different it's
[ __ ] different well it also didn't
dawn on me that when we went to the
skating rink on my 25th birthday that
they wouldn't have both cuz the roller
rink I grew up at they had both
rollerblades and roller skates and the
rink we went to exclusively had roller
skates so I was like "Oh I don't know
how to do this." H and learning a new
skill in a sea of 13year-olds who are
very good at that skill already
made for a memorable birthday
one of our friends had his camera out
and was like "You I know you're taking
photos of us on the rink but there's too
many children it just looks like you're
a grown man taking pictures of
children."
Oh no
a we know you were trying to be
thoughtful but you you missed the optics
of this he's also a very tall white man
who wears shorter shorts
because he's so tall it doesn't matter
yeah yeah like it can be an 8 in inseam
and they're still going to look like
shorty short shorts just because of his
build
so everything about him was just tall
white man showing a lot of thigh with a
camera at a roller rink questionable at
best
poor guy yeah we're like "Choices were
made by all of us tonight and now we
know." Uh
so she's is defending herself that like
the the waxing's just for me like it's
not for anyone else um but then she also
is just like I'm really confused this is
a new energy like this is not this was
not how we were over the summer you hate
me i hate you
now your hand is in my pants like what's
happening here what are we doing and she
asks him to leave she's just like this
is too much and he's like not until I
fix it and she's like I will call our
parents if you don't leave like right
you are doing the opposite of fixing
you're making it worse please leave
1,000%
um so switch to Mason's perspective he
immediately from leaving her room goes
to threaten the RA to to leave her alone
um and people on campus already seem to
recognize him and know him because he's
going to play on the hockey team for TAB
he's second string so that did feel
slightly more believable that he wasn't
you know given a the hockey star yeah
the hockey star full scholarship
starting spot right right right he's the
power forward for you know whatever
we're like felt I'm like second string
center felt more
realistic but then he's also like well
what's my next step with Leslie and how
do I make this right and he's like and I
don't want any other girls he's like but
I know like over the summer Leslie like
didn't like seeing Tiffany on me and so
like that's why she like danced with
Emory like maybe I like need to make her
a little jealous
healthy you get it yeah really good
nothing but very healthy relationship
dynamics throughout this entire book
yeah through and through we don't need a
conversation why would we right i can
just make out with another girl how
helpful could a conversation be in this
situation stupid so back to Leslie she
didn't sleep well
um kept she she was like just kept
thinking about how her stepbrother had
been like no one else will ever touch my
[ __ ] and she's like his [ __ ] what like
she but it's mine it's attached to me
when she she goes and like ends up
taking a cold shower and uh meets
another girl in her in the shared
bathroom and her name's Lucy and Lucy's
like what's the story with that guy that
came out of your room yesterday and
she's like cuz not going to lie girl he
was hot and then I love the quote he's
like lose your virginity and don't care
if he calls you back
hot i said "Okay I would still care."
Yeah yeah
i I don't know if I've ever seen anyone
hot enough that I'm like "You can
justify being a piece of shit." Right
it's just not how my brain computes
things me either
like even if we're ships in the night I
would like to know that you're not a
total douchebag yes make one i don't
want to be rewarding terrible
people obviously I'm a reward i just
realized i was like obviously that's
really good you are what a great way to
view yourself more people should view
themselves as a reward amen maybe if
more people viewed themselves as a
reward they would care if they got
called back after they lost their
virginity respect yourself please you
are a reward amen and everyone deserves
to be treated as such
um but in this conversation like
Leslie's like "Yeah like we're nothing
to each other." And then when the girl's
like "Well like let him know I'm
available." Then Leslie's like "I'm
sorry Lucy he's not available." And
Lucy's like
respectfully you need to get your [ __ ]
together
lucy's the real MVP here yes like Lucy's
like he's like too hot to like if you
don't lock him down someone else will
try so like you you're not going to have
the luxury of just like this level of
indecision right make a decision right
we love a new friend lucy Lucy is a real
one for sure so uh she ends up going to
the dining hall that morning to grab
breakfast and Mason is sitting with some
hockey players friends I don't know
doesn't [ __ ] matter and when he sees
her he ends up like pulling another girl
down onto his lap and like kisses her
neck and the girl's like
giggling yeah and Leslie's like "The
fuck?" Like "This is not great." Um well
it's also like "Okay dude so you had
your hand down my pants yesterday you
told me that I'm yours and all this
stuff and clearly that didn't mean
anything." Like that would be my fault
like well and I forgot that on she ran
into him again on her way into the
cafeteria like bumped into him and he
like made sure she didn't fall but oh
the book is called butterfly because he
calls her butterfly incessantly it's the
pet name it's the pet name from the jump
I personally cannot refer to her as
butterfly it just doesn't feel authentic
to me um I appreciate that but when she
when he like grabs her so she doesn't
fall he's like I guess even butterflies
are clumsy sometimes
and like is just a little she's like the
warmth that I saw in him yesterday is
gone like more of like the coldness and
I don't know cruelty might be like too
strong but like indifferent yeah like
she was like "Okay so like what the [ __ ]
that like yesterday you were telling me
these things and now you're being kind
of cold and indifferent and then he
pulls another girl onto his lap." Be
consistent dude yes like this is not
helping me trust you 1,000% mhm and so
she ends up getting flustered gets lost
on her way to class by the time she
finds her way to class she's like 5
minutes late mason is in this class and
he's seated with his friend she ends up
grabbing a seat further back but is like
very flustered this whole time and is
like confused and trying to figure it
all out and ends up like gripping her
pen so hard she snaps it and the ink
starts to like go everywhere and so her
seatmate like gives her a napkin and is
being kind um so Mason threatens him
with murder
maybe not
murder but at the break the seatmate Dan
introduces himself and he's like "Oh you
have a little bit of ink on your face."
So he like grabs the napkin to try and
get it off and Mason is immediately
there and is like "Feel free to take
your hands off my steps
sister." Immediately like Mason you
cannot have it always cuz then he
immediately turns to Leslie and goes "Go
wash your face." So both of y'all [ __ ]
or get off the pot like no yes like and
she's like "You you don't control me."
He's like She's like "If I want to have
ink on my face I'll have ink on my face
bitch." Well and he's like "Want to bet
I don't control you?" What
like good sir you guys bullied like had
a shitty escalating prank war that was
just mean all summer then you show up at
her her college when you're not even
supposed to be there with the reported
intention to fix things and your answer
to fixing things is making out with
another girl in front of her and then
being really mean to her new friend Dan
i know it doesn't make it any better but
I guess he didn't technically make out
with Emily he just kissed her neck oh
that's worse that feels more intimate it
does feel more intimate yeah yeah now
that you say that it does feel I don't
even My husband gets sad cuz I don't
want him to kiss my neck half the time i
know i'm like I told him last week I go
"You can kiss my neck." And then I like
I locked up and just tilted my chin i go
"Get your chance
and he's like "Yes this is
exactly what I had in mind
this is the romantic moment I was hoping
for with my wife that's so
good oh my god we're the queen of really
great romantic moments." Yeah seriously
oh my gosh um so then the professor
walks up at this point in the break and
is like "This seems like an interesting
dynamic." Anyways you guys are gonna be
partners for the everyone needs to pair
up and choose a partner so you guys are
going to be a team and like pairs up
Mason and Leslie but then CL class goes
back to happening and then Dan is like
saying to Leslie he's like "Oh well like
I can like see if like my partner would
trade to work with Mason like you and I
can work together if you don't feel
comfortable working with him." A and
Leslie's sitting there and she's like
"There's a snowballs chance in hell that
Mason would let me work with anyone
who's not him even if I don't fully
understand." Yeah he's gonna make all of
our lives miserable if I try to do this
so like justice for Dan but we're not
going to do that
and
honestly Dan isn't a big enough
character to need justice if he doesn't
get justice no one will remember that's
fair we'll all move on and still be okay
after class Mason is like "Okay we
should go back to my place and work on
the work on the project." And she's like
"I'm not going to your place like we are
going to a neutral location we're not
going back to either of our homes." Yeah
and so she's like "Let's go to the
library." And Mason is immediately like
"Okay yeah the library works." And she's
like "Why was he so agreeable to the
library?" And as soon as they get off on
like the fifth floor she's like "Oh
because it's literally empty." Yeah
there's just a one study table amidst
all of the the shelves of books and no
one in sight
whoops should have gone to a coffee shop
yeah or maybe like a lower floor i
imagine i'm like right i was like was it
the specific topic is that why you ended
up on the fifth floor because I imagine
the lower floors are still busy the
first week of of of class at a new
college
but sure let's go to the fifth floor
that's Yeah that was one I'm like I feel
like we had other solutions very readily
available in the same [ __ ] building
we did yeah we absolutely did um and he
holds her hand on the walk to the
library and she's like trying to pull it
back and she's like "People might see."
And he's like continues to hold her hand
good well he says "Maintaining my
reputation meant I almost lost something
incredibly important to me i hadn't
realized it at the time but after I
decided in order me in order for me to
get it back I had to change my my
outlook." And she said "It's that easy."
And he says "Butterfly when you crave
something this desperately anything you
have to do to get it is
easy." I don't know exactly what my face
did
but I have a feeling it was both
distinct and uh disbelieving perhaps
yeah well and I think Leslie feels
similarly where she's like it seems like
he's alluding to me
could it be could it be and so like
she's into it but is also legitimately
fearful that like it's still all a cruel
prank right he's This is all some sick
joke yes um and so in the library when
they get to the fifth floor Leslie
absolutely realizes the mistake that she
made with how isolated it is and he sits
immediately next to her at the table and
like pulls their chairs super close
they're like touching the whole time and
she tries to start the project and he's
like "Well I just want to check on you
how how are you adjusting to college
like how are you adjusting to all this?"
And she's
like "The [ __ ] this feels like a trick
can we just do our project so I can go
home?" Yes and he's like "Well you
looked upset in the cafeteria earlier."
Gross and she's like "I am upset
yesterday you were a caveman this
morning you had someone else in your lap
you're telling me you're here for me you
treated me like an [ __ ] all summer
it's emotional whiplash and I have no
idea what the [ __ ] is happening." Yeah
and now you're you're asking me how I'm
doing and how I'm adjusting like how do
you think I'm adjusting feels like
you're setting me up for something yes
very much and to Mason's credit he like
pauses and he like he owns it and he's
like "You're right." like I can be more
intentional and clearer about what I
want moving forward which is basically
to [ __ ] you welcome well that that too
because she when she's like "You were a
caveman you were an [ __ ] now you're
acting like we're more than we're now
you're acting like we're more than
friends or something or we're friends
however it was worded." And he's like
"We aren't friends we're more than
that." Like one of those and she's like
"Okay so he does view this
as more right i don't It's all erratic
but he owns it he apologizes and he's
like "I'll I'll make it up i'll show you
my intent." And she's like "How how are
you going to fix this?" And he's like
"It's more of a show versus a show like
than tell situation." And then he like
traps her in at the table and fingers
her at the table in the library and then
I mean it's definitely working for her
and then he's like "That's right you
come for
daddy." Um okay and thus the start of
the daddy era of this book
it doesn't stop at any point
okay okay okay okay
it's just daddy all the way through for
me to run
out okay okay
okay
so she comes it's also apparently like
the first time she's ever had anyone
include like she's never digitally
penetrated herself let alone Not anyone
digital
penetration
okay
okay tell me you've had to ask
about histories in a med chart
no what specifically what I was thinking
of was um once many years ago on a
treatment team call with like everybody
so every therapist at the facility all
of medical the head RA everybody
everybody everybody is on this call oh
no somebody got on and was
like and mind you this is like before
9:00 a.m like well before 9:00 a.m
somebody got on and was like "Well there
have been reports of digital
penetration." So I haven't had enough
coffee for this [ __ ] yet like everybody
like immediately is messaging each other
like does that mean what I think it
means i can't please help me like oh
god well that's like and I know I've I
think I've told this story before but
there was a we got a call from a
hospital when I worked crisis in
Nashville uh and they said that a man
had removed their exact words were a
chunk of his penis mhm mhm yeah the
penis chunk
i'm so sorry and we just got to be like
how do we medically write this how do we
professionally and clinically write this
and one guy goes he removed his Oscar
from his meer
we like yep that is what we should put
in this medical chart to follow this
client it's what we're going to report
to Medicaid got
it i don't know the ICD10 code for
that woo yep so after she comes on his
fingers and they go back to working on
the project she's like "This can't
happen again." And he's just like "Sure
thing wink." And she's like "I don't
think he understands that I'm I mean
that." And he's like "I do sure thing
wink." Okay i'm really bad at winking
for the record
you do turn your whole body when you
wink it's because I'm bad at winking
that I like when I'm like You do extra
with
it it's so much shoulder it really is a
whole shoulder with
it it's like Pat
Benitar i feel like I just tried to wink
to not move my
shoulder it was worse you weren't
successful the shoulder actually helps
unfortunately damn it okay so Mason is
late for hockey practice with the team
because of their library shenanigans
good sir you're a collegiate athlete
right like that's a serious And this is
like your first week of practice yes
like
bro the [ __ ] ain't worth
it and Mason would wholeheartedly
disagree with me he was like "Nothing
matters as much as Leslie's [ __ ]
explicitly."
So after practice he gets back to his
apartment and immediately Hugh Jackman's
himself obviously yeah and he's like "I
wish I could still smell her on my
fingers but I had hockey
practice so the smell dissipated over
time you know." Put in your hockey glove
bud just stick your nose in it oh I'm so
sorry i'm so sorry i'm so
sorry that's a different fetish there's
not a lot that I often immediately
regret but that was one that was really
gross sorry so he then texts Leslie to
like make sure she like made it back to
her dorm and he she's like "New phone
who this like but she's legitimately
like "How did you get my number?" And
he's like "We're step siblings did you
think it would be that hard to I asked
your mom?"
Yeah i asked our parents because we are
related and they Yeah you know this
whole like we were going to go to the
same university and I'm surprising you
here thing they gave me your number yeah
you know once again we we got to keep
suspending i mean that's pretty
believable that you'd be like "Hey I'm
going to be at the university." I more
meant that it the parents would be like
"Yes this is a surprise that's not
weird."
Right makes sense yeah sure not like I'm
going to visit her but like I'm
transferring schools from Harvard right
to TAB which just makes me think of the
soda from the 80s
great soda yeah yeah um I looked up Tab
University and it seems like there's
like a TAB center at John's Hopkins so
I'm like okay is that what this was
loosely based on i'm not I'm not quite
sure but like okay it's supposed to be
like that genre right right of school
um when he's texting Leslie though she
like shuts it shuts it down and is like
I wasn't lying earlier like this this
can't happen again like this isn't okay
we are lab partners or whatever and
nothing else yeah and he is not about
that at all um and so then he goes and
asks his roommate
Matt for his plug and hookup for some
new drugs that are on the market vice
and Vixen vixen I think is the like
aphrodesiac that it's like an MDMA
ecstasy kind of thing or
we're suspending all we Okay yeah vice
and Vixen okay vice apparently you have
no refractory period and can just go all
night seems unhealthy but okay
the balls have drained let them gross i
was going to say let them fill before
you go again but I hated everything
about going to go with let them rest but
okay
let them Well they would fill as they
rested so technically speaking we're
both right still correct i don't want us
to be right here though it doesn't
doesn't really feel good so yeah he asks
his roommate for the assist in getting
some drugs um switch to Leslie's point
of view after the library she had dance
and Emily the girl that had been on
Mason's lap is in the dance program and
just like peak ultimate mean girl
decides to come up and start
[ __ ] and is just embarrassing Leslie in
front of everyone like just like oh you
think he'd really be into you like what
do you even have to like you're like why
are you walking up to this random you
sat on his lap once
What he's mine now yes like that level
of like Regina George mean girl
you You sat on this man's lap once and
you've never talked to this girl before
this is wholeheartedly unnecessary
yeah
um so after that class like after the
dance class when the girl was giving her
[ __ ] about Mason was then when she got
the text from Mason as well that was
like checking in on her and she's just
like "We're step siblings people like
I'm really not doing this with you."
Yeah this isn't This doesn't feel worth
it mhm um and
then while like when she gets back to
her dorm there's a knock on her door and
she like thinks it's Mason at first and
then when she opens it it's the creepy
RA and it's like 400 p.m and he's three
sheets to the wind yeah and so she's
like really uncomfortable and asks him
to leave and he's like "Oh like what are
you going to do like stick your brother
on me?" And she's like "I need you to
leave." Yeah and so he does but it's
it's not great and doesn't feel good
yeah and like she's just looking for
some comfort and like FaceTimes her mom
and like her mom and Paul are like in
the kitchen cooking together and it's
just like a sweet moment and Paul asks
if Mason has been helpful and she's like
"Okay like this is the moment like if I
like wanted to like tell if I wanted to
like destroy Mason's world like Right
this is the moment that I could tell our
parents and like [ __ ] his day up." Yeah
and she doesn't obviously yeah what i
was so surprised uh I think my notes
technically say she decides not to
mention the finger
[ __ ] I'll leave out the digital
penetration in the library i don't think
my parents need to know
about my stepbrother digitally
penetrating me between the stacks
yeah that feels like details we could
leave out for them
yes
boundaries great great boundaries yeah
that's one you don't need the detail on
that no you really don't um so it is
Wednesday which is the day that Leslie
will have class with Mason again and
she's feeling a bit nervy about all of
it and she runs into Lucy in the
bathroom who's like clearly like "You
good girl you need to talk?" Like "Yeah
I got a bottle of tequila in my room we
can trade secrets i got some secrets."
It does seem and I haven't looked uh for
as out of pocket as this book is will I
read other Joe Bunner books absolutely I
will and it there's several that I'm
like "Oh okay." There's like links of
like spin-offs or potential spin-offs
but I like didn't do a lot of research
into what spin-offs already exist but it
very much seems like Lucy and the
college hockey coach will have a
spin-off book if they probably already
do i haven't checked you know good for
them can't wait to find it if it exists
so we're we're doing an age gap trope
there I imagine
i Well with how this one's going we we
go at least five tropes deep yeah so
can't wait to see what will be added to
age gap
guardian okay trope yes um in class by
the time Leslie gets there Mason is
already there and so she goes and
sits far away yeah and he grabs all of
his stuff and gets up and goes to sit
immediately next to her which I'm like
Leslie how did you think that was going
to go baby girl yeah
this man is
unhinged and and we literally read a
book called Unhinged about a door that
[ __ ] a h like and that somehow felt
more believable than you thinking he
wasn't going to follow you zeus showing
up felt more believable zeus [ __ ] a
sacred tree and has a sensient door son
and I was like "Yeah I can I can believe
this more easily." Yes um so he hands
her he has a coffee cup for her and
she's like "What's this poison?" And
he's like "It's a lavender oat milk
latte," which is her favorite and then
he's like "I had to go to three shops to
find it for you." So he has these sweet
moments that
Yeah but it's like is going to three
shops for a latte
enough no not for me the answer is no
the answer is no leslie's bar might be
different than mine though and I can
respect that for
her i forgot what happened
next so in class she's sitting there
drinking her latte he's crowding her
space like they are their chairs are
right next to each other and he ends up
putting his hand up her shorts and like
teasing her throughout the class to the
point like she gets called on and his
hand is still in her pants and no one
notices no one has any idea that this is
happening this entire time what kind of
desks are these i have a lot of
questions i was like "Okay so it's not
like stadium seating." Yeah yeah yeah
unless the fronts are all covered
i've never had stadium seating like that
no it's always been like open
yeah so that was really the biggest
issue that I had with the whole scene
was you're telling me he finger blasted
her in a college English class sure she
got called on managed to answer a
question while your hand was still in
her pants and no one noticed the entire
time
okay yeah sure why not Mace yeah
absolutely uh she's right about to come
as class is ending and he's like "Oh
class is over." wipes his hand off and
is like "Don't come." Winks again "yes I
wink with my whole body i'm I'm learning
this about myself as I just winked at
you again." Oh [ __ ] learn something new
every day
so switch to Mason's perspective
now he absolutely drugged her latte i
was going to say he put that in her
latte which again I'm like "Okay so Oh
no no no no Hannah it gets worse oh good
good good before the semester started
she said "Save your outrage." Save your
outrage because before the semester
started over the summer he bribed campus
housing for her dorm number where he
then installed
cameras so he's been watching her this
whole time so let me guess she's now
Nope nope i'm not going to you just tell
me i'm just going to We're
not Yeah so she immediately like goes
back to her dorm and is a ball of need
but like the drugs are like such a
powerful aphrodesiac that like she's
like "As soon as I put my hand in my
pants I orgasmmed and was left
unsatisfied." And one of those where
she's like "I've been masturbating for
like an hour and just like my body still
kidnapped." That does not sound fun that
sounds [ __ ] miserable like truly
awful yes yeah so I'm like I don't think
I need that drug no thank you um but
also when Mason pulls up the cameras to
like see if she like made it back to her
dorm and like where she was at with the
timeline of like when the drug should be
the most potent and hitting he uh was
like just looking back through footage
and saw footage of the creepy RA and
he's like what the [ __ ] like he like the
RA clearly left but also clearly made
her uncomfortable and so he's like looks
like I'm going to need to have another
conversation with him sort of energy
yeah so then he takes off
to her room so after he's like "Okay
she's been masturbating for a very long
time she's probably ready for me at this
point tag me in coach." Like the book
says she's crying because she's been
going for hours and is still unsatisfied
this is like an omega heat yes yes but
he did this to her like that is really
without her consent yes and then watched
her be
tortured like
Well he shows up to help with you know
how kind
that's Mason for you such a giver
um he ends up taking her
virginity which she's gladly offering
him in this moment but like they [ __ ]
all night really leaning into the whole
daddy thing like she's only can't call
him Mason he's only daddy in the bedroom
okay
and I know we've talked about it on here
before but I always think of when I like
looked at my husband and I was like
"Would you want me to call you daddy in
the bedroom?" And he goes "Could you say
it with conviction?"
See I asked my husband that and he just
went "No."
[Laughter]
I feel like Vance is very much like I
try anything once can you say it with
conviction i need I need the answer to
that question before we can move
on generally Matt's game to try whatever
ridiculous scheme wherever I happen to
come up with anything but not that he
was like I don't think so no
I I've known you for a couple of years
now mhm a few just a few
there's not a bone in my body that can
see you calling someone daddy and mean
it that's more the issue I think than
Matt's energy it's me i'd be like "Sure
daddy."
Like
like code for punk ass [ __ ] like that
is how I would say
[Laughter]
it but the issue that I have here is
that he's 18 they are the same age okay
they are the same age
we've not established any kind of
anything in terms of like a consensual
BDSM even like top energy
there's been no conver real conversation
at any point except her saying I don't
want to do this with you and him being
like got it
got it but what if I try a little harder
but what if I drug
you let me try again
uh she crashes and then he like wakes
her up in the middle of the night and to
be like what's your darkest fantasy and
she's like being shared and he's like oh
I don't he's like pick a different
darkest fantasy he's like oh really
[ __ ] hell i'm a little too possessive
for that one and she passes back out uh
the next morning when she wakes up and
feels like she got hit by a semi and
she's like "Oh my god why do I feel so
horrific?"
To Mason's
credit he's like "Because I drugged
you." Good yeah he just straight up owns
it mhm
but like the the whole kind of
conversation about it in the book is
that
like the the vixen just helped get her
over the mental barrier to like get her
there sure is like how it she really did
want it the drug just enhanced the want
the pleasure was already there yeah you
get it exactly okay um so when he
confesses to putting the drugs in her
coffee she's like "I need you to leave."
And he's like "You want your daddy to
leave?" And she's like "You're not my
daddy." Like
the daddy runs strong and I just not in
a book there are so many books that have
daddy kings that I'm like "Yeah I can I
can get this." And this one I'm just
like "No I'm sorry my nephew is 17
what oh I didn't even think of it like
that yes like my nephew's Oh God i don't
I guess he's a junior i'm like he'll be
a senior next year and I'm just like no
i Because I know a few 18year-olds not a
lot but literally a few and they're all
pretty tall and they're just all elbows
and knees man like they are just all
elbows and knees
which is so funny cuz like I remember
like being 18 and being like they look
so strong and I'm like I know they have
[ __ ] string bean arms i'm like and I
married a man that they're like his
brute man strength showed up when he was
in like middle school i once saw four
people try and take my husband down
wrestling on a beach and he just walked
them into the ocean i was just going to
say he's huge like a guy came up to me
afterwards panting and he's like
Vance is real strong Chelsea
yeah I know mhm
mhm
but like I feel like everyone else you
look at at 18 and you're like it just
the strength hasn't come in the way you
think it has yet you haven't filled out
the way that you have in your mind yes
so much so god all right so it's now
been a week and Leslie is really
struggling well yeah yes she's like "I
[ __ ] my stepbrother." Not only did I
[ __ ] my step brother I lost my virginity
yep to my stepbrother
in a where like I kind of wanted it but
also like I didn't really like Yeah like
I didn't really consent and so just the
full mess that has come along with that
and her stomach has been in knots she's
not eating
um in class or no she goes to the
cafeteria that morning before class and
Mason is sitting there with some friends
and she just grabs like a banana and
some toast and he's watching her and she
like can like barely get the food down
yeah
dan and Mason text her and she's like
it's like going to be like a don't sit
next to him sort of text but the text
just says are you eating like are you
okay
like
okay yeah and and she's she's clearly
not right uh but also like also like her
blood sugar is now low to the point
where she's like out of sorts where
she's like she doesn't realize class
ended and she's just kind of still
sitting there and like the professor
walks up and is like are you okay and
Mason is like standing there as well mhm
she's like "I'm fine." Yeah and she like
tries to stand up gets dizzy immediately
kind of falls over so like Mason like
picks her up well and especially if
she's been dancing like if she's been
going to dance practice like that and
not eating like Yes so he ends up
carrying her across campus all the way
back to her dorm um not the infirmary
though not her dorm his dorm of course
yeah yeah not the infirmary because he
lays her down to take a nap on his bed
and then he's like "Okay I'm going to
make all of her favorite foods." cuz I
handed her mom this summer to like find
out what all of her favorite foods are
but I don't have the supplies for all of
them so he like orders groceries but
then he like can't find the ice cream
she wants so he like orders groceries
from three different grocery stores to
get everything and then I guess like her
favorite meal is like blackened chicken
fetuccini alfredo okay he like [ __ ] it
up and like Yeah destroys the chicken
like twi like has to make it three times
and it's like
it's a pure moment of actually seeing
you're like oh maybe this is the first
time you've actually done anything for
her look at us go we call this growth
so generous of you
they end up having a pretty good
heart-to-heart conversation uh she asks
him if the nude pics over the summer
like if that prank was his idea and he's
like "It wasn't." In fact I like broke
up with Piffany that day and I literally
haven't been talking to her since i've
made everyone delete the photos um she
tells him a little bit about her dad i
guess her and her mom were the side
family so she just like thought that
like her dad was always away on business
and had this super important job and
then found out that like oh no he has a
wife and a full other family and when it
all came out like chose his wife and
family yeah um and so I think that's
also where like Leslie's been frustrated
with Mason where he's like made a couple
digs about like her mom being a gold
digger or things like that and she's
like my mom deserves all of the
happiness in the world right quite
frankly so does your dad like after the
way y'all lost your mom so like [ __ ] you
like let them be happy like why are why
are we [ __ ] on other people's joy
like but then Mason is like I'll kill
your dad for you okay well and she's
like "You don't need to hurt anyone for
me." And he's like "But I no I'll do it
for you." And she's like "If you hurt
anyone for me I'm done." Like that's not
right this is a hard line buddy simmer
down you grew up in the BBS and drive a
Tesla how are you killing the Like what
is You're not a mobster like what is
your plan here
so I'll figure it out when I get there
right well and then he asks if she's
ready for ice cream she's like "I'm
full." And he's like "Okay then it's
time for your punishment." And she said
"My punishment?" He's like "For not
taking care of yourself stop and bend
over like a good girl." So then he's
spanking her gets the ice cream there's
some food play sure
too sticky
yes correct no do not put ice cream in
an orifice oh no no chocolate syrup no
no whipped cream aanu
i food play is not something that is
appealing at all just sounds like a
yeast
infection sorry
unless you're leaving a trail of Cheetos
for me and I don't think that's going to
have the sexual appeal you're looking
for
unless you are leaving jalapeno cheddar
Cheetos like rose petals
i can [ __ ] with that i know you can i
can work with that yeah but I feel like
most people aren't trying to use Cheetos
for seduction and that's their laws for
real oh my god
oh listen you can still lick the cheese
powder up if you need something to lick
better than a sticky chocolate syrup all
I'm
saying condiments have no place in the
bedroom
have you watched American Auto
no wait is that is that a sitcom yes
peacock yes i think I started the first
episode and I might have had had an
edible and I fell asleep and didn't
finish it should I finish it should I go
back i I very much enjoy it but there's
an episode where they get hacked but
they really only get the CEO's stuff and
she and her husband had been in like
couples therapy or something and they
had been trying to like spice up their
sex
life and the hacker puts up a photo of
her clearly masturbating and vaping in
the middle of a meeting and there's like
the corporate attorney behind them and
so she's on the phone with her husband
telling him that like all their pictures
got hacked and everything and the
husband is like "Even the mustard." And
she's like "Even the mustard Herald or
whatever the fucker's name
is." Mustard it's like "Even the
mustard." And then she's like in tears
and she's like "Mustard stains skin did
you know that?"
I highly recommend that show it's very
out of pocket
i'll have to circle back
but the mustard oh my god okay so the
food play is happening right and she's
also enjoying it but having a hard time
reconciling that she's enjoying it yeah
and he tells her that she's his and
he'll wait as long as needed for her to
understand that
um yeah like just like a you will you
are mine and however long like like it's
a little Stockholm syndromey but like
they Yeah they aren't in the same like
they she has her own dorm they they
don't live together yeah she can leave
of her own valition but apparently she
can't because he then like tells her
that she's like staying at his place for
the weekend okay
and then they just like [ __ ] all
weekend lots of orgasms sure yeah
uh he ends up dropping her at her place
and as she's going inside after this
like sex weekend yeah wonderful
reconciliation sex weekend where he
thinks everything is going great uh when
she's walking down the hall she sees the
RA and she's like "Oh hey Chris." And
then he like looks up and he's like
covered in bruises and she's like what
happened seriously yeah well and she's
like "Oh my god what happened?" And he's
like "Stay the [ __ ] away from me like
your stepbrother did this he was pissed
that you and I almost hooked up." She's
like "We didn't almost hook up." She's
like "When was that?" Yeah
you mean the night that you wouldn't
leave my dorm room when I asked you to
leave cuz you made me feel uncomfortable
we have different memories of how that
night went your definition of hooking up
and my definition of hooking up are
different yes and
so she like he's like "I need you to get
the [ __ ] away from me i don't want him
like coming after me again." So when as
she's like gets back into her dorm she's
sitting there and she's like "How would
he have known about that?" Like I didn't
tell him about Chris yeah i didn't tell
anyone that Chris showed up at my dorm
how would he have known he would have
had to have seen it how would he have
seen it and so then she starts looking
around her room and is like "Holy fuck."
And like found the first camera then
she's like "If there's one there's
more." So she spends the next hour and
finds like five other cam how big is
this dorm room i had some I was like
"How many different angles do you need?"
Like also most dorms are not uniquely
shaped like No it's pretty much a box
yes
so Mason calls her and she doesn't
answer and it sends it to voicemail and
he keeps calling her and she's not
answering and she just like gets in the
bed under the covers because she's like
there might be other cameras and I don't
want him to see so I'm going to hide
under my covers to cry yes the makings
of a healthy relationship um then she
hears her door unlock good because Mason
apparently has a [ __ ] key of course
he does why wouldn't he have a key he's
an 18-year-old alpha sex god
mhm sure he'll kill her dad and get a
key to her dorm what like good sir kill
her dad and get a key to
her oh he wants to know why she's not
answering and she's
like because of the cameras like this is
why I'm not answering like
like I'm real done with you dude i'm not
answering due to the stepbrotherness of
it all
like there's there's a couple reasons
that I'm I'm not really answering and
she's like I can't be with someone who
lies like I said if you hurt anyone I'm
I'm out and then you didn't tell me
you'd already hurt someone like not cool
and she's like I I can't be with someone
who would lie to me and he's not having
it but is eventually like and you'd
really hate me if I like didn't give you
a choice
so now we're giving her choices that's
cool well good and then he goes "Then I
guess it's goodbye." And she goes
"Goodbye
daddy." I'm
serious it's fine it's fine everything's
fine so then I don't know it's maybe
another week who the [ __ ] cares leslie
goes to ask her professor if she can
change partners for the project cuz
she's like I this ain't going to fly
yeah I can't do this and the professor
is
like no you got to like part of group
projects is learning to work with
different personal like sort of like
okay fine so like you don't understand
this man's stalking me and he drugged my
latte and this isn't and our parents are
married this isn't a different like
different personalities issue he wasn't
supposed to go here this is unsafe like
he he offered to murder my dad like he
got a key to my dorm he put [ __ ]
cameras in my dormer he made me call him
daddy i don't But I kind of like that
part that's also
conflicting there was ice cream i can't
I don't
know there was ice
cream yes just imagine telling your
college professor there was ice
cream so Leslie ends up reaching out to
Mason and is like "We need to to work on
the group project." And he's like "Okay
fine come over to my apartment." And
when she gets there he's looking pretty
beat up and he's like he he says he has
a rough day at practice cuz someone said
something he didn't like like alludes to
like defending her honor and asks if she
can grab the ice out of the fridge and
she's very happy to help move this ice
over his body to the different affected
areas you know
uh he asks how she's been and then very
quickly somehow she ends up pinned to
the couch getting spanked obviously yeah
do I I read it like three times and I
was like we this was like six sentences
how did we do that yes
like
she really is reconciling that she does
enjoy this which is you know the
difficult part of this book because
you're like "This is so unhealthy at
every level." Well I'm like "You can be
into that honey." But like maybe with
somebody who knows what they're doing
and and thinks your consent matters yeah
someone who's actually safe
yeah someone who you know when they ask
if you've eaten and if you're taking
care of yourself they care about you
like they're supporting you i mean he
made her the black and chicken Alfredo
yeah
we're That was the the the first moment
right we're trying so hard we really are
trying so hard Mason well so switch to
Mason's point of view he has been just
like waiting for her to reach out and
come back to him and he's like "She
needs time she's mine
if I she'll get I'm patient and yeah
play my cards right she'll she'll get
there she'll come back to me and so then
it says that he asked his roommate to
rough him up to look a little extra
pathetic
damn it Mason we were rooting for you i
wasn't
sorry you know that's probably the more
accurate response um I don't know why
I'm surprised by that turn of events
well and all right the level of delusion
here Hannah the quote she has to learn
how to forgive me for doing [ __ ] up
things in the name of her happiness
no you can't just kill her
dad you can't just murder
people yeah so then he like he keeps
spanking her and then she's saying she's
sorry to daddy for pushing him away and
I'm like once again it escalated like we
switched so quickly and then she's
telling him what happened to goodbye
daddy go back to that yeah go back to
goodbye daddy it's fine well so then she
tells him that like she's scared they
won't be accepted and he's like I I
think you need a distraction so then he
has her sucking him off which I'm like
that's not going to fix the underlying
issue that your step siblings like no
amount of [ __ ] changes that your
parents have a legally binding agreement
that's filed with the court system
have you considered that my dick is the
best distraction that there is have you
inspected it closely you should do that
now don't you understand i'm an
18-year-old alpha sex god
my dick is the pope he will bestow all
of the blessings upon you kiss the ring
babe
[Laughter]
so after she's sucking him off he tells
her to get on the couch face down ass up
and then Emory walks in their front door
because he's a roommate and Mason's like
"Just like I planned i'm giving her her
deepest darkest
fantasy so then he has her sit on his
dick while he while she sucks Emory
off emory finishes on her tits i don't
know it went from 6:00 to midnight she
was literally a virgin last
week
like what the [ __ ]
mason ends up after the sex shenanigans
takes her to the shower washes her off
but he like locks the door to the
bathroom and she's like "No you don't
want people to see me." And he's like
"Just to be very clear that was a
one-time thing." Like the one and only
time you will ever see another man's
dick it's giving Wolf Hotel
we should review Wolf Hotel you hate it
so much i'll outline it i know how much
you hate it i'll outline it should we do
all Well there's five cuz they did the
initial four box set then they released
a third a fifth one oh my god that was
not needed
respectfully Ka
Tucker I was good with the box set you
were not good with the box set you were
good with none of it i was going to
say
so yeah they end up talking in the
shower he confesses his love for her and
she's like "I don't forgive you for
everything that you've done i enjoy the
sex you are very hot and like I don't
forgive you." And he goes "I know i'm
not sorry for keeping you safe but I am
sorry for making you feel like your
feelings don't matter nothing matters
more."
What that's clearly untrue bud like your
Yeah your actions really don't align
with that yeah the show is not matching
the tell my guy no um Leslie ends up
having a girls night with Lucy and they
go hard on the bottle of tequila we
learn a little bit more about Lucy's
whole situation where I guess her
parents passed away her father was the
coach's the hockey coach's mentor and
when she when the parents passed away
they made him the guardian oh
yeah so that seems to be whatever
spin-off will be happening is that that
trope situation
um but also as Leslie's like confessing
to Lucy she's like "He's my my
stepbrother." Lucy's like seem fine and
clueless i don't
know yes when Paul Red is your step
brother i was going to say when Paul
reads your stepbrother it doesn't
count and I feel like Mason would say
when your stepbrother's an 18-year-old
alpha sex god it doesn't count either
it's fine um and Lucy kind of asked
she's like "So are these
hurdles with you and Mason are they deal
breakers or are they just hurdles?" Yeah
and like Leslie like is like you know
they're they're just hurdles like
they're not deal breakers i do love him
too okay yeah yeah um so then Mason
shows up sure just to because he missed
her and they
are five sheets to the wind they are
fully fully plastered yeah and so he
ends up taking like Lucy stays in uh
Leslie's dorm for the night and he takes
Leslie back to his place and she pukes
several times on the like and he just
does nothing but take care of her and
rub her back and get her ibuprofen and
electrolytes and
is is kind and sweet and does what you
would want a stepbrother boyfriend to do
for you step brother
um and the next morning she's hung over
but they they have a little bit of a a
heartto-he heart again before she goes
back to her dorm um she's agreed to go
to his practice later okay which I don't
I think it's the first time she's like
going to one of his practices so he's
excited about that um and but he's also
like "If I didn't think that she was
like so close to confessing her love for
me I wouldn't have even let her leave my
apartment." What like sir that's not how
relation No stop that's not how any of
it works it's not how it should work but
apparently it is how it works for Leslie
as well okay um so at hockey
practice Leslie is late and he's getting
like more and more frustrated that she
hasn't shown up yet and then suddenly he
sees Emily the girl that had randomly
been on his lap and she's like wearing
his jersey and like walking down like
trying to say hi to him and like "Hi
baby." And like tries to like touch him
and he like grabs her like wrist to stop
her from touching
him and she is straight up like what are
you even seeing Leslie and like what
like girl you have had like two
conversations with this man to be fair
it sounds like he's only had five
conversations with Leslie
but you've only had like two
conversations with it like we're going
real hard right now where is this
delusion coming from yeah um and so then
as that's happening Leslie starts to she
gets there and is walking down and is
like "Hey Emily like I know you and I
are never going to be best friends but
like we can be civil but part of that
like you need to stop harassing my" and
then like catches herself and she's like
"You need to stop harassing Mason." And
like Mason's a little sad because he was
hoping that she was going to like
claim him claim him and my boyfriend
whatever and Emily chooses violence
again once again why she feels this
strongly about Mason is beyond
me but her response to Leslie is "Who
you calling a harasser you brother
fucker?" Good yes
what way to deescalate the situation
Emily
oh and Mason just like immediately looks
at Leslie and is like "Are you okay?"
And she's like "No like I'm not having a
good time." Yeah
which correct answer i don't know if
anyone is okay in that moment and so
then Mason tries to like start
intervening and is like starting to like
lay in to Emily and then Leslie has a
moment and she's like "No I've got this
like I can stand up for
myself."
Okay fine it's the whole like female
empowerment like monologue cat fight
whatever my exact notes say female
empowerment monologue ending with "Yes
he's my stepbrother." And maybe that
makes me a stepbrother [ __ ] but you
know what i don't step brother [ __ ]
care so she publicly announces her love
for him and then he takes off his jersey
and he's like "Butterfly you better
always be wearing my number and my name
when you're in this building." And then
he picks her up and carries her back to
the locker room sure because daddy needs
a little time with her [ __ ]
sure yeah good they're [ __ ] He pulls
out because he tells her he has a little
treat in store because also he brought
supplies for
anal like he brought like an extra I'm
like she lost her virginity like 10 days
ago good sir you have like a vibrator in
your hockey bag just in case this
happened he also not only has supplies
for anal he has an engagement
ring and so he's like withholding her
orgasm and she's like "Please daddy like
let me come." As he's now in her ass
when once again she was a virgin you'll
marry me and I'll let you come is that
where we're going like please daddy let
me come what will you give daddy
anything and then he pushes him balls
deep as he grabs the ring box she
screams as she orgasms "Yes I'll marry
you." And then he said "Daddy's going to
fill his wife's little ass up with his
cum." Yeah so that happened right okay
and then the team the team is banging on
the locker room doors they're on a
They're They need to get back in there
as well i need my water bottle yes jesus
damn it Mason we've talked about this
have to pee oh my god well and so Mason
like goes to unlock the door and the
team comes in and the coach is like "Get
your girlfriend out of here bro." And
he's like "That's my fiance and keep
your eyes to yourself." And the coach is
like "You're a [ __ ] idiot." Like
literally dude like you banged her in
the locker room bud we all know what she
sounds like when she comes that was also
how you proposed get her out you're 18
and you've been in college for a month
i also I'm like with what job so daddy's
credit card like how the [ __ ] did you
buy this ring
so have you seen the show St dennis
Medical yes i love St dennis Medical
have you seen the episode where the guy
puts the engagement ring on his penis
because that's all I'm thinking about
right now
that was a very funny episode very good
yes my favorite is the poor sweet very
young nurse who's trying to be very
professional and he asks for the doctor
to come in and help and the doctor comes
in and is like "Oh my
god." Is that your [ __ ] dick dude
and honestly though that's the mark of
someone who's new in the field and
someone who's been around for a while
because you're like "We don't need to
pretend to be professional in a
situation when this is [ __ ]
there's the circulation to your dick is
currently being cut off we just need to
call a spade a spade like all the hot
dogs."
Again highly recommend
um also in that conversation the coach
is like like looks at Leslie and is like
"If you keep an eye on Lucy we'll call
it good." Like something where you're
like "Okay they're clearly getting a
spin-off." Once again it probably
already exists
um so after that it we now skip to the
first game of the season okay where
Leslie is anxiously awaiting her mom and
Paul's arrival because Mason is on the
hockey team so they're going to go
support him at his game um and when
Mason gets tagged in he's playing
fantastic like scores a hattick
very casually i'm like "Yes sure." Of we
second stringer coming in
nailed it you get it yeah um and
Leslie's cheering for him and like at
one point she shouts like "Yeah baby."
And they're like "Baby huh?" And then
her mom
sees the ring and is like "What's that?"
And she's like "An engagement ring." And
she's like "Who you engaged to?" Awkward
and she just like doesn't really answer
and just keeps watching the hockey game
and then her mom's like "Who are you
engaged to?" And then Paul is like "Baby
we already know this isn't this isn't
subtle they're 18 and very stupid well
and then but like Paul looks at Leslie
and he's like I don't know what my son
did to you but like I'll make it right
and
like leaves the stands
and so then we switched to
Mason and he's in the hall before the
third period talking to his dad and his
dad's like "Are is this like are you
rebelling because I got remarried?" And
Mason's like "It's not about you also we
both lost mom and she makes me happy
like you found your happiness why can't
I have my happiness?" And his dad is
like
"Well if y'all are happy then we'll I'll
learn to accept it."
And
then they play the third period and TABU
wins 15-3 and Mason scored the final
goal and at the end of the game 15
15-3 I think against
Cornell cornell get a better hockey team
i don't This isn't 15 yeah i'm like I've
never been at a hockey game
where they scored more than like eight
and that was like pretty intense yeah
also at a professional level right it's
al it's not like one team is in the NHL
and one is like a street youth team like
15 to three did feel a bit it's like
dad's playing hockey like
no like a pickup game with buddies like
no no no
just like a collegiate pickup game it's
fine yeah so they win 15 to three and
then
Leslie runs onto the rink and jumps in
his arms and he skates around with her
in his arms as they celebrate the win
and that's the end of the book that's
the whole book yeah no epilogue that's
no epilog full stop
okay all right m
but I'm also not going to lie the whole
time I was reading it I was just going
"What the fuck?" But I couldn't
stop i'm in it now like this [ __ ] is
[ __ ] what are they going to do next oh
he's going to put cameras up next didn't
see that one coming obviously oh he's
going to pretend that he got beat up at
hockey to gain sympathy from her
like I don't know if they're dating by
sophomore year
it's definitely going to ruin their
parents' marriage for sure poor Paul and
Anna innocent bystanders in all of this
very much so
yeah so what point shoes hockey sticks
what what butterflies
yeah I guess i Yeah I
three for every month they've known each
other like is
that so six
oh my god oh my gosh okay yeah so
butterflies let's
go out of 18
sure sure that feels just as gross as
the whole thing really i might go
with
seven
six between six to eight lower than
50% but I couldn't look away Hannah i
couldn't
stop and if you're willing to suspend
all of your beliefs about everything
i'm like this is ridiculous that the
entertainment value is high yes yes I
see it entertainment value is very high
but like it's so many tropes yeah it's a
lot of tropes like you have
stalker step sibling uhhuh bully
hockey college
and I feel like I'm probably still
missing one well and daddy i mean
yeah six right there
so it's a
journey it's messy
i I didn't find
myself rooting for
them but I do ultimately hope they're
okay
hope they get into some therapy
yeah both individual and couples
potentially maybe start with individual
yeah start with individual before before
couples in this situation
i think you both have some things you
need to process a little bit a few a lot
yeah it's fine everything's fine
but like he does so much [ __ ] up [ __ ]
yeah
yeah mhm and apparently he is that much
of a sex god because the orgasms are
enough that she just like literally
overlooks all of it
yeah okay but it's also
like how I Met Your Mother where it's
like "Oh college Lily thought those were
orgasms."
Like okay she's never had one before
like maybe well and I'm just like I know
we've said this before the person I
thought I was going to marry when I was
18
thank God like wish you well but not for
me right uh-uh and I'm just like
uhoh oh maybe that's why there's no
epilogue
you guys you don't want to know like it
didn't go well that's Joe's way of
saying like we're just going to leave it
here
unfortunately yes you don't want more
information yeah um okay yeah like
seven seven yeah seven out of 18 18
feels accurate the entertainment value
was high but also you have to suspend a
lot of belief and get real cool with a
lot of [ __ ] real quick and if that's not
where your head is at then this is not
the book to pick up yeah yeah if it is
where your head is at if you can match
Mason's
Freak I cannot no no no my moral compass
is maybe a little too ingrained to Yeah
just a little bit different you know mhm
we have different true norths there you
go that's okay yeah everyone has their
true north right so seven out of 18
butterflies mhm mhm that's a lot of
wings but sure yeah 14 wings yeah yeah
out of 36 look at my math not bad not
bad i've been practicing i haven't i
should though my math is not great uh
all of all of the 14 butterfly wings
seven butterflies total let us know what
you would rate this if you would use a
different rating system mhm how how you
feel about the journey that we just went
on cuz I really have so many mixed
feelings about it and would love to hear
everyone else's thoughts as well don't
forget to like subscribe comment um
please please please send us your
recommendations we always look forward
to knowing what what y'all would like us
to review because Hannah read 300 books
last year i did it's good to have some
guidance on what to review that's too
many to choose from decision paralysis
y'all
like if someone could just tell me
please i read too many i read too much
all right all that said we can't wait to
see you until next time yep that didn't
[ __ ] bye mud [ __ ]
well that's it for this week Smud [ __ ]
we hope it was good for you cuz it sure
was great for us if you're digging what
we're doing it would mean a lot if you'd
take a minute to rate and review the
show wherever you're listening right now
maybe tell that sexy someone to lend us
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