1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,760 Welcome to the We Are More podcast. 2 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,640 My name is Alyssa. 3 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,640 And my name is Bri. 4 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,640 We're two sisters passionate about all things faith and feminism. 5 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:25,520 We believe that Jesus trusted, respected, and encouraged women to teach and preach His 6 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:26,520 word. 7 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,720 And apparently that's controversial. 8 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:32,360 Get comfy. 9 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,360 Hello! 10 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,360 Bonjour. 11 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:43,880 Should we just every episode start with hello in a different language? 12 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,800 We're gonna run out of languages because we only know a few. 13 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:47,800 That's true. 14 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:48,800 We're gonna be offensive. 15 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:53,800 Hey, but we are going to Disney and we could ride the Small World ride and make notes. 16 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,880 They say hello in a billion languages. 17 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:57,880 Probably not a billion. 18 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:58,880 But a lot. 19 00:00:58,880 --> 00:00:59,880 A few. 20 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:05,920 Did you know if you haven't ridden that ride recently, so last time I was on it, well the 21 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:13,120 last couple times I was on it I guess, they had at the end it pops up on a screen. 22 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:17,920 There's a bunch of different screens as you're about to get off the ride and it says goodbye 23 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,800 Alyssa, goodbye Brianna or whoever's name is in that boat. 24 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:22,800 Because they're tracking you. 25 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:23,960 Because of your magic band. 26 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:24,960 That's creepy. 27 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:25,960 That really freaked me out. 28 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:32,960 I was like wow, what a weird coincidence that they just happen to have all of our names. 29 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:36,520 So if you think Disney's not tracking you when you're there, they for sure are. 30 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,040 They absolutely are, there's no question about it. 31 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,360 Unless maybe you don't have a magic band on, but what fun is that? 32 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:43,360 Very boring. 33 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,360 I love a magic band. 34 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:45,360 I want them to track me. 35 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,000 If I get lost, come and find me please. 36 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,800 They did not track me though when I got lost. 37 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,080 Well that was your own dumb fault. 38 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:57,840 But the magic bands, sincerely it breaks my heart at the end of our trip to not wear a 39 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,280 magic band anymore. 40 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,120 It would break my heart. 41 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,400 I hate it, I hate taking it off. 42 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,040 I just want to wear it all the time, it makes me happy. 43 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaking of Disney, actually when you were younger did you hear about the subliminal 44 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,680 messages in the Disney movies? 45 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:16,400 Like the Renaissance Disney movies? 46 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:21,160 There was like inappropriate stuff drawn into the Little Mermaid and Lion King. 47 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,280 I remember Lion King distinctly. 48 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,600 And Aladdin, and it was really popular. 49 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,280 It was going around when I was in high school and they're like, they're subliminally trying 50 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:34,920 to put these ideas, bad ideas into your kids' heads. 51 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:40,920 There was one in the Lion King, it was the clouds, I think as Mufasa is talking to Simba 52 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:44,520 or whatever, and people thought it said sex. 53 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:49,400 Supposedly, according to Disney, now believe what you want I guess, but according to Disney 54 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:54,920 it was actually supposed to be SFX, which was like the special effects team. 55 00:02:54,920 --> 00:03:00,800 But I mean, I don't know, seems like a risky move Disney. 56 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:04,920 Pick a different acronym for your name. 57 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:14,040 But today, today we're talking about subliminal sexism. 58 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,740 Which we got to do some research for. 59 00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:18,640 We did some in field research. 60 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:21,920 Yes, in field if you mean going into Target. 61 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:22,920 We walked into Target. 62 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:25,920 It was a great time. 63 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:31,720 We used it as an excuse to go to Target and get a Starbucks and you know, do a little 64 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:32,720 walkabout. 65 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:33,720 We did take pictures. 66 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,440 I had videos. 67 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:39,080 And we looked around at the things and we probably bought some stuff, I really don't 68 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,080 remember. 69 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,000 I've been there so many times, it's so hard to say. 70 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,600 I can 100% guarantee we bought stuff. 71 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,880 I want to start to get to know those people's names because I see them all the time. 72 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:50,880 Yeah, we're there a lot. 73 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:55,640 I should just walk in and be like, hey, Billy, hey Bob, hi Joe. 74 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:56,640 Those are all their names. 75 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:57,640 Billy, Bob and Joe. 76 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:58,640 Yeah. 77 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,720 I noticed that you have no girls names. 78 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,520 Billy could be a girl name and so could Joe. 79 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:09,680 I've never met a girl named Bob though. 80 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:11,720 We could have a Bob listening. 81 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,120 Bob. 82 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,040 This is special shout out just to you. 83 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:21,240 So we're going to talk about subliminal sexism in our little mini-sode today. 84 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:29,200 And if you're confused on what that means, to me it kind of means little subtle sexist 85 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:36,540 acts that you don't really realize, but it puts ideas in your head. 86 00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:39,240 And we went into Target because Bree watched a TikTok. 87 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,760 I'm always on TikTok. 88 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:48,040 And how children's clothing is different for boys and girls. 89 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,520 And not just in the colors. 90 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,520 No. 91 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,760 So like the characters that are on it, right? 92 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:57,960 So she was saying, think of the animals you typically see on boys clothes. 93 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:02,800 You see lions, you see tigers, you see T-Rexes, you see sharks. 94 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:08,520 And on girls clothes, more often than not, you're seeing hedgehogs, you're seeing piglets, 95 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,440 you're seeing mice, you're seeing rodents. 96 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:19,000 And the difference there is that boys clothes are predators and girls clothes are prey. 97 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:24,320 Which you said that to me a while ago and that blew my mind. 98 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:28,300 Because you do think of, if you think of sexism in clothing, you do often think of one is 99 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:30,440 pink and one is blue. 100 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:37,240 You don't think of the actual characters or the animals or whatever that are on there. 101 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:43,040 And one of the other things that we observed while we were in Target was that for TV shows 102 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:48,520 and stuff, if it was kind of a gender neutral show or game or whatever, like we saw one 103 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:51,920 for a lot for Mario. 104 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:57,160 And the boys clothes would have the hero or the main person on there. 105 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,440 And the girls clothes would often have the secondary characters. 106 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,800 Side characters, yeah. 107 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:06,800 So the boys clothes had Mario and Luigi and the girls clothes, you didn't really see Mario 108 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,280 and Luigi at all, you saw Toad. 109 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:15,080 And the secondary, they're supporting characters but they're not usually used as the main character. 110 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:19,080 You're not seeing a lot of girls clothes with Mario and Luigi on them. 111 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,920 And it's hard to argue, oh well it's because those characters are boys and these characters 112 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:26,480 are girls and obviously girls only want to wear girls on their shirts and boys only want 113 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,480 to wear boys. 114 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:32,020 Because Toad I think is supposed to be a male character too, correct? 115 00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:34,680 So that one's on girls clothes. 116 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,460 But it's a less assuming character. 117 00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:37,900 It's a less threatening character. 118 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,360 It's a little mushroom. 119 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,360 He is cute. 120 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,040 He is pretty cute but not without his hat. 121 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,040 No. 122 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,040 Is that a hat? 123 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,040 Mmhmm. 124 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,040 What? 125 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,580 Did you not watch the Mario movie? 126 00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:50,400 I sat through the Mario movie. 127 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,400 Quick to Google that. 128 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,400 No, that sounds horrifying. 129 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,400 It's a hat? 130 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,400 Mmhmm. 131 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,400 I thought he was a mushroom. 132 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,400 He's bald. 133 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,400 Oh I don't like that. 134 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:58,400 Yeah. 135 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,400 I just like that very strongly. 136 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,920 I mean if you're bald that's fine. 137 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:04,920 But Toad is confusing. 138 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:09,560 Well he's always shown with the mushroom head. 139 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:14,160 I don't like that at all. 140 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:19,000 So those are some of the things that you had seen and then we went into Target and we absolutely 141 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,440 confirmed that that is true. 142 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,440 Yeah, absolutely. 143 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:25,920 You're not gonna see, I don't think I saw any girls clothes with bears or sharks or 144 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,920 T-Rexes. 145 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:32,640 I think I saw a few with cute tigers but they were very like few and far between. 146 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,040 The boys clothes, it's very obvious. 147 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,120 There's no prey animals on there. 148 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,040 It's all aggressive animals. 149 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:47,440 Yeah and I think, you know I know people that don't necessarily believe in feminism think 150 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,660 that some of this stuff is very far-fetched. 151 00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:54,800 Like oh come on it's not really prey and predators, it's just whatever. 152 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:58,840 But you have to ask yourself the question, then why? 153 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,840 And why is everything like that? 154 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,680 Why wouldn't you see some things that were different? 155 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:10,600 Also I think the wording on clothes is very different for boys and girls. 156 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:15,840 You'll see boys it's a lot of, and this is any kind of graphic tease that you see, it'll 157 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:21,440 be adventure and I don't know superheroes and whatever. 158 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:27,200 The things that it talks about are extreme and even violent sometimes. 159 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:31,080 Whereas for girls it's like inspirational, live your best life. 160 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,080 Love. 161 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,080 Yeah live love laugh. 162 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,080 Eat prey love. 163 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:39,720 I don't think we should have little girls watch Eat Pray Love. 164 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:40,720 I don't think that's little girl appropriate. 165 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,720 I actually haven't seen it. 166 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,880 I don't think that's kid appropriate. 167 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,840 I'm pretty sure she just sleeps around India. 168 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,600 I think that's basically the movie. 169 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,600 Really? 170 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,600 I'm pretty sure. 171 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,680 I've been saying Eat Pray Love all the time, is that what I'm referring to? 172 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:54,680 Maybe. 173 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:55,680 Oops. 174 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:56,680 Sorry mom, sorry grandma. 175 00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:00,680 Sorry everyone that you said that to. 176 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:07,720 So one of the things that I saw as I was researching for this episode, it was a term that I hadn't 177 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:14,520 heard before but makes total sense, was benevolent sexism. 178 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:19,000 And I think this plays into this subliminal sexism as well. 179 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:24,520 So I'm gonna go into what that means exactly. 180 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,960 I just do. 181 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:34,560 Benevolent sexism is often also related to the church and it's this concept of it is 182 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:42,960 absolutely still sexism but it's protecting women because they can't protect themselves. 183 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:48,040 And we cherish women but they're just a little bit weaker than we are. 184 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:54,120 And they're mild, they're meek, we have to preserve their femininity. 185 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,160 Seen as like a flower. 186 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,460 Exactly yes. 187 00:09:58,460 --> 00:10:03,720 So this is from Medical News Today and it says, benevolent sexism includes views and 188 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:08,520 behaviors that frame women as innocent, pure, caring and nurturing, fragile and in need 189 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,040 of protection, and beautiful. 190 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:14,240 Now it's not that as a woman you can't be those things. 191 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,000 I think I'm very beautiful. 192 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000 I think I'm occasionally... 193 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,000 Nope. 194 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:23,880 I think I'm occasionally fragile. 195 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,680 Only when you watch movies for sure. 196 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:27,720 And commercials and just my own thoughts. 197 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:28,720 Yeah. 198 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,160 I'm a little fragile. 199 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,520 It's not that there's anything inherently wrong with that. 200 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:38,060 It's other people putting that on all women. 201 00:10:38,060 --> 00:10:44,120 Anytime you say this must apply to an entire people group, whether that is a gender or 202 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:48,600 a race or anything, it's not gonna fit everybody. 203 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:54,760 And it automatically lends itself to sexism or racism or wherever you're at because you're 204 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:58,320 trying to fit everybody in the tiny box. 205 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:03,240 Now there might be some women that are beautiful. 206 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,440 Such as I. 207 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,160 And that's okay. 208 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,760 There are some women that are innocent and that's okay. 209 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:15,480 There are some women that feel more fragile at moments and in need of protection and that's 210 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:16,600 okay. 211 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,320 But we can be so much more. 212 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,320 Exactly. 213 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:23,080 You know, I can be fragile but I can also be powerful and confident. 214 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:28,240 And I can be emotional but I can also kick your fricking butt. 215 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,720 And I think it's important to flip that around too. 216 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:34,160 I think I said flip around like a million times in the last episode. 217 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:38,760 Flip it and reverse it. 218 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,560 I love when you sing and don't know the words. 219 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:42,000 Well she sings it backwards. 220 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,000 What? 221 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,000 Yeah. 222 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,000 You haven't heard that song? 223 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000 No. 224 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,000 Oh, it's Missy Elliott. 225 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,000 Isn't that old? 226 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000 Yeah. 227 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,000 Okay. 228 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:57,640 Anyway, I think it's important to also say that we put this stereotype on women exclusively, 229 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:01,480 which means that men don't get to be these things. 230 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:07,520 Men can't be, in this view of benevolent sexism, men can't be caring and nurturing. 231 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:13,080 And what does that do to a family when dad, husband, boyfriend, whatever it is, isn't 232 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,240 caring and nurturing? 233 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:20,480 A man in this view can't be fragile and in need of protection. 234 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,360 Apparently also can't be beautiful. 235 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,560 Real struggle for him. 236 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:27,720 You hear that, man? 237 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:35,840 But I think an interesting piece of that is that men, again in this view of things, can't 238 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:42,400 put on makeup, can't care about personal grooming, can't have nail polish, can't whatever, because 239 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,720 they can't be too concerned with their look. 240 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,920 Because that would be considered feminine. 241 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,720 And feminine equals weak. 242 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,800 So femininity to them equals weakness. 243 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,820 And a man can't be weak. 244 00:12:56,820 --> 00:13:01,800 Because if you've got one weak link in the chain, it all falls apart. 245 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,120 But that does not equal weakness. 246 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,320 Absolutely not. 247 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:11,400 If you want to wear a little bit of concealer because you don't like whatever's happening 248 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:15,760 on your face, or you just want to invest in skincare, you want to take time in the morning 249 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:22,680 getting ready, you want to, hey, you enjoy going out to a nice meal with a glass of wine. 250 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:23,680 That's okay. 251 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,000 That does not make you weak. 252 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:32,080 It's such a weird stereotype because you look at these men, women, and we can't do any of 253 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,080 these things. 254 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:40,560 But then you look at, I think the idea is women won't think a man is attractive if he 255 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:44,200 looks feminine in any way, if he takes care of himself a few, whatever. 256 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,960 And can I just say, please take care of yourself. 257 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:55,840 But then on the flip side, you have Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean with all 258 00:13:55,840 --> 00:14:00,280 this eyeliner, and women found him very attractive in that role. 259 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,280 We were swooning. 260 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:06,840 But he has super obvious, thick black eyeliner on. 261 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,280 Or the lead singer from Panic! 262 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:11,480 at the Disco, I think he paints his nails and wears eyeliner. 263 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,480 He's also very attractive. 264 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:20,200 Well, makeup heals a lot of this stereotypically now feminine stuff. 265 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,240 Was made for men, initially. 266 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,240 When it came out, it was for men. 267 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:29,720 And it fell out of fashion because women started using it to look more masculine. 268 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:35,480 And the men were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, you can't look like us. 269 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,640 And so they started not wearing those things. 270 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:45,320 Yeah, think of King Louis the question mark, whoever was married to Marie Antoinette. 271 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,840 He was wearing pastels, he was wearing heels. 272 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:52,460 Well, because that was the fashion, it was the style. 273 00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:56,800 And we like to take our 2024 vision and shove it all the way back in history and pretend 274 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,000 it was always this way. 275 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,800 There were always the manly men and the whatever. 276 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,460 And that wasn't really the case. 277 00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:04,760 This wasn't a concern. 278 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,200 Or that was what was considered manly back then. 279 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,200 Yes. 280 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:12,560 Be a man, you must be swift as a coursing river. 281 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,560 You know, it breaks my heart because that's such a good song. 282 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,560 There are so many songs from like older Disney movies. 283 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,640 What's the one from Little Mermaid? 284 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:23,640 Where she- 285 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:24,640 I could sing all of them right now. 286 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,520 I know you could. 287 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,880 Where Ursula sings about- 288 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:28,880 Kissing girls. 289 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:29,880 Sing it. 290 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:30,880 Poor unfortunate souls. 291 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,120 Yeah, but I need you to sing the proper part. 292 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,560 Men up there don't like a lot of glamour. 293 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,440 The men out there don't like a lot of blabber. 294 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,440 That's it. 295 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,760 They think a girl who gossips is a bore. 296 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,800 Yes on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word and after all, dear, what 297 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:46,800 is- 298 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:47,800 On a planet- 299 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:48,800 Poor. 300 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:49,800 What does she say there? 301 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:50,800 Idle prattle. 302 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,600 I don't even know what that is. 303 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:54,600 Just talking. 304 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:55,600 Yeah, shit chatting. 305 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,600 Poor unfortunate souls. 306 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:57,600 Thank you. 307 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,600 Now we get to listen to that later. 308 00:15:58,600 --> 00:15:59,600 I love that. 309 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:06,840 I know you do. 310 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:13,160 But all these songs back from Disney and again, subliminal sexism to tie it back around. 311 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:14,160 We love all these songs. 312 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:20,280 They're fun to sing, but what are they teaching young girls about who they are? 313 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:24,160 I think Disney, at least with that one, was making a joke. 314 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,840 And the Mulan one too. 315 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:29,400 I think, yes, they were making a joke, but it's still in there. 316 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,400 Great. 317 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,240 They've removed that part from the new Little Mermaid. 318 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,640 I know, Melissa McCarthy. 319 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:39,920 Or even things like, jumping off that again, things that we say all the time and they're 320 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:45,280 just a slip of the tongue because it's so commonplace, but like, boys will be boys or 321 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:51,680 throw like a girl or I'm crying like a little girl automatically means, oh, I don't want 322 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,360 to do that because girls are weak. 323 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,360 Girls are weak. 324 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:56,760 Girls are weak, men are strong. 325 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,440 Boys will do whatever they want. 326 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:05,880 Well, one of the insults for being weak is a girl's lady parts. 327 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,040 And first of all, why? 328 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,040 Those lady parts are doing a lot of work, let me tell you. 329 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:13,040 It's like the strongest muscle out there. 330 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,040 Yeah. 331 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:15,760 I have pushed out two babies. 332 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:16,760 I didn't. 333 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:17,760 Still strong, Bree. 334 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:18,760 Still strong. 335 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,360 Still strong. 336 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,500 We just accept it in society. 337 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,880 It's one of those things that we just say, well, it is what it is. 338 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:34,480 Or I have a son and people all the time because he's very rough and tumble. 339 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:35,800 He wants to climb up things. 340 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:36,800 He wants to whatever. 341 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:43,600 He's also very cuddly and sweet, but I'm constantly getting, well, he's such a boy. 342 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:47,080 You were used to a girl and he's such a boy. 343 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,240 And no one means anything bad by that. 344 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:54,720 I don't think anybody is meaning anything bad, but why are they saying it? 345 00:17:54,720 --> 00:18:00,080 They're saying it because he's adventurous, because he takes risks. 346 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:07,280 Now he's two, but takes the risks that a two year old would take and is a little bit rougher, 347 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,280 wants to play outside, whatever. 348 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:15,880 I get questions like, well, what about when he wants to go play sports, hunt camp fish, 349 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,320 all the things that boys are supposed to want to do. 350 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:22,040 And it's like, that doesn't make him a boy. 351 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,720 It's not what will make him a man later in life. 352 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,200 What does he as a person enjoy? 353 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,680 And if that means camping, fine. 354 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:36,360 If that means going to the theater with us, that's fine too. 355 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,240 We would be pretty happy about that. 356 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,240 Yeah. 357 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,880 We're going to go see Shrek the musical soon. 358 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:41,880 So excited. 359 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:42,880 I'm so excited. 360 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:50,040 One of the things I actually saw a long time ago was someone had posted, they were like 361 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:55,840 a greeter for plays and stuff like that. 362 00:18:55,840 --> 00:19:00,440 And he said that it was so sad to see how many women would come in there with their 363 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:06,680 partners and the woman would be all dressed up and so excited and pumped to be there and 364 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:07,680 whatever. 365 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:12,840 And the man would be like in jeans, clearly doesn't want to be there, has been dragged 366 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:17,240 there, is throwing a hissy fit, you know, whatever, because that's not men and men shouldn't 367 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,600 like to do that. 368 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,600 And that is toxic behavior. 369 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,520 I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. 370 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:28,520 Like my husband Nathan the other day for a date night took me up to see the symphony 371 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,000 because they did a Disney one. 372 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,800 How many times can we say Disney in this? 373 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,600 Another Disney date. 374 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:38,720 And it was totally his idea and he was the one that wanted to get all dressed up and 375 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:44,280 because he as a person enjoys those things and knows that I enjoy them and wants to enjoy 376 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,480 things with me. 377 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,760 And what a wonderful thing to be able to do together. 378 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:57,040 Well, as women were constantly told, and even in movies and whatever, find an interest in 379 00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:01,000 what he has an interest in and talk about that with him. 380 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,680 But men are not being told the same things. 381 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:08,480 They're not being told, oh, see what she's interested in because that will help your 382 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,160 relationship along. 383 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,640 Change yourself to fit him. 384 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:20,720 It's like how there was a movie, Bride Wars, and she said the one girl is shopping for 385 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,720 her wedding dress. 386 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,200 I think it's Anna Hathaway is shopping for her wedding dress. 387 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:30,960 And the consultant says, somebody says, that's Vera Wang. 388 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,400 You don't alter a Vera Wang to fit your body. 389 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,200 You alter your body to fit a Vera Wang. 390 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:42,480 And you listen to that and you're just like, no. 391 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:43,480 Right? 392 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,360 That's what we're telling girls in their relationships. 393 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:48,520 And how much worse is it in a relationship? 394 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,800 You don't alter a man to fit yourself. 395 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,720 You alter yourself to fit a man. 396 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,080 Your entire being. 397 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,080 Yeah. 398 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,080 Everything you like. 399 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,880 Every bit of who you are. 400 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,720 Now that can go either way. 401 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:05,160 If both of you like hunting, camping, fishing, whatever, great. 402 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,640 Do those things together. 403 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:08,640 Enjoy that. 404 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:15,160 I think for those reasons that enjoy fishing a lot and camping, that is not our vibe. 405 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,160 Sorry, family. 406 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,680 Our side of the family. 407 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:22,440 We actually would rather stay in a bed and breakfast. 408 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:29,480 But I've seen them, this couple get to grow together and take their boys fishing and enjoy 409 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,680 that together. 410 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,720 And what a cool thing that is. 411 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,120 And for me, that's not something that I would enjoy. 412 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,440 It's not really something my husband enjoys a whole lot. 413 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,280 But we get to do the things we enjoy together. 414 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:49,880 Because I can give a little and he can give a little and we can meet in the middle, Bree. 415 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,720 You start walking your way. 416 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,920 I'll start walking mine. 417 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:59,600 We'll meet in the middle beneath that old Georgia pine. 418 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,600 Did you forget? 419 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,600 I wasn't sure what kind of tree it was. 420 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,600 We gained the light of ground. 421 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:10,640 We're all part of you. 422 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,680 Half of this episode is you singing. 423 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:13,680 That's not true. 424 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:14,680 I guarantee it. 425 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:15,680 That's just not true. 426 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:16,680 All right. 427 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,560 All of you out there, I would like you to listen through. 428 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:19,560 Give me some timestamps. 429 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:20,560 Please cut it. 430 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:21,560 Cut half of that song. 431 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:22,560 Timestamps. 432 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:23,560 That's what I want. 433 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:29,200 That could be another fun title. 434 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:33,920 So back to this article from Medical News Today that talks about benevolent sexism. 435 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:38,160 It says, this is some examples of what that could be. 436 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:44,880 I really like this because it pulls apart a lot of what we see in churches that pretends 437 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,240 it's good for women. 438 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:53,320 So it says, examples include basing a woman's value on her role as a mother, wife, or girlfriend. 439 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:57,480 Focusing attention and praise on someone's appearance rather than their other attributes 440 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,920 because beauty is the most important thing. 441 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:03,720 It's no pain, girls. 442 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:07,520 Assuming that people should not do things for themselves, such as manage money or drive 443 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,260 a car because of their gender. 444 00:23:10,260 --> 00:23:14,000 Assuming that a person is a nurse, assistant, or secretary, not a doctor, executive, or 445 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,040 manager based on their gender. 446 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:20,560 And then supporting policies that make it difficult for women to work, have independence, 447 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,960 or deviate from traditional gender roles. 448 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:30,160 And this study that they reference here also says that men who endorsed or believed in 449 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:37,480 benevolent sexism were more likely to support political policies, laws, things like that, 450 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,040 that limited women's freedoms. 451 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,600 Karly We watched a TikTok earlier. 452 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,440 My gosh, we need to get off that app. 453 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:45,440 Not me, it's you. 454 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:51,640 But this guy shared a clip from a pastor preaching at his church. 455 00:23:51,640 --> 00:24:00,960 And he said that women are to be treated as princesses and treasured and that if there 456 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,400 was an intruder in their home, he's not going to tap on his wife and say, all right, it's 457 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:05,760 your turn to take care of it. 458 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,840 He's like, no, of course, I as a man, that's my job. 459 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,920 I sleep closest to the door. 460 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:15,760 I on a plane sit in the aisle seat in case someone were to come after her. 461 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:17,620 I'm the protector. 462 00:24:17,620 --> 00:24:21,120 But that almost, like you were saying, it limits women. 463 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:22,800 It keeps them in a box. 464 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,680 You're not allowed to protect yourself. 465 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:29,560 You're not allowed to sleep on the other side of the bed. 466 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:30,560 Or have the aisle seat. 467 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:31,560 What if she wants the aisle seat? 468 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,840 What if she needs to get up to pee 17 times? 469 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:39,640 Now she has to climb over you 17 times. 470 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:44,200 And I think, you know, when you hear that, well, women are supposed to be princesses 471 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:45,800 and queens and protected and whatever. 472 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,880 Like at first it sounds pretty good. 473 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,160 I mean, I'd love to be a princess. 474 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:51,440 It sounds like a great time. 475 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,400 It depends on where you're the princess of. 476 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,400 That's true. 477 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:55,400 That's very true. 478 00:24:55,400 --> 00:25:00,960 But the practicality of it is that it sounds great until you realize that you're not allowed 479 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,240 to deviate from it. 480 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:07,960 That if you decide that you want to sleep on the other side of the bed, or if you decide 481 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:15,200 as a woman that you want to drive a car, pump your own gas, have a career, whatever, that 482 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,900 you're not allowed to. 483 00:25:16,900 --> 00:25:20,480 It keeps this stereotype that women are weak. 484 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,480 Right. 485 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,480 That we can't protect ourselves. 486 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:27,640 And one of the things that that pastor actually said was like, if someone breaks into our 487 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,040 home, they've got three problems. 488 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,080 It's me and Smith and Wesson, which is a gun. 489 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,400 I didn't actually know that. 490 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,840 Well, that's what it is. 491 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:41,520 As though, because he's a man, he's more likely to be able to use a gun. 492 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,520 I know plenty of women who love shooting. 493 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:45,520 Yeah. 494 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:53,760 But it's the whole concept of as a man, he is more likely to fix everything for her. 495 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,160 To fix the situation. 496 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,600 And it goes from lots of things. 497 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:03,960 It's all the way from like, she can't pump her own gas. 498 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,400 Mom. 499 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:12,660 She can't arrange the furniture because she can't lift it up or whatever. 500 00:26:12,660 --> 00:26:14,720 She can't paint the room. 501 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:15,840 Because she can't. 502 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,440 Or you won't let her. 503 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,440 Exactly. 504 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:24,720 Now, if as a woman you prefer not to paint the room by yourself, that's fine. 505 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,640 If he prefers to paint the room. 506 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,120 As a person. 507 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:29,720 If you prefer those things. 508 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:34,440 Or in your relationship, you've decided like, okay, I prefer things this way and you prefer 509 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:35,440 things that way. 510 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,440 That's fine. 511 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,440 Yeah. 512 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:43,920 Well, like there are certain parts of my marriage that would fall into that stereotypical marriage. 513 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,120 Person generally takes out the trash. 514 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,100 Because frankly, it smells bad and there are flies. 515 00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:49,960 And I really dislike flies. 516 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:55,360 But just because he normally does it, because it works within our relationship, doesn't 517 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,620 mean that he has to do it or always does it. 518 00:26:57,620 --> 00:27:02,260 If I notice that that's not happening, I bring the trash cans back. 519 00:27:02,260 --> 00:27:06,000 Or what if as a single woman, I have to do everything? 520 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,640 I have to pump my own gas because that's my stupid car. 521 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:14,400 Or, you know, I have to pay the bills or any single woman out there. 522 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,800 That doesn't make you less of a woman. 523 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:17,800 Right. 524 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:25,640 Well, when you look at the women in the Bible, you look at Mary Magdalene or Martha. 525 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:30,680 These women are not spoken about as having husbands, to my knowledge. 526 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,960 They dropped their stuff and followed Jesus around. 527 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,580 They were Jesus's friends. 528 00:27:35,580 --> 00:27:38,080 They dropped it like it was hot? 529 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:43,120 They didn't have a man to protect them. 530 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,920 And they were living in a much more dangerous time. 531 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:47,880 They didn't have a man to take out the trash. 532 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,780 They didn't have a man to do all these things. 533 00:27:49,780 --> 00:27:51,320 So they were doing it by themselves. 534 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,360 And that was biblical womanhood. 535 00:27:54,360 --> 00:28:00,360 Within the church, keeping that idea in mind that women are weak and must be protected 536 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:01,920 keeps women in their place. 537 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,940 It keeps men in power. 538 00:28:03,940 --> 00:28:11,240 And we need, as a womanhood, as a group of people, to stand up and say, hey, that's not 539 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:12,240 true. 540 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:13,240 Right. 541 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,960 I am not weak. 542 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,640 We have a place. 543 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,940 Get out of the way. 544 00:28:19,940 --> 00:28:26,360 If you think about that, if you take it far enough, that's where a lot of the power dynamics 545 00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:28,000 can come from really easily. 546 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:34,180 Because if you believe that women are weak, if you believe that they can't pump their 547 00:28:34,180 --> 00:28:39,200 own gas, that they can't pay the bills, that they can't whatever, you don't want them leading 548 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,200 your church. 549 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,280 You don't want a person like that to be leading your church. 550 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:48,320 So if you believe that, of course you wouldn't have that person lead your church. 551 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:52,920 And it just happens to be an entire gender that they've decided this about. 552 00:28:52,920 --> 00:29:01,560 So I looked up another article about clothing and how that can be subliminally sexist. 553 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,720 And I won't go too deep into it because we don't have a ton more time. 554 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:12,600 But this person was talking about awards shows and how nowadays you don't see as many women 555 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,500 in dresses necessarily. 556 00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:20,000 But at awards shows, you see women in these beautiful, elaborate, intense dresses. 557 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:25,400 And the author of this particular article talked about how these clothes that we choose 558 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:33,160 for women, whether it's a very, very tight fitting dress or a six inch heel or a heavy 559 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:39,320 purse because she doesn't have pockets to put her things in, these things all restrain 560 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:40,360 women. 561 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:44,800 Now if you love to wear a dress, if you love to wear heels, nothing against that. 562 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:50,580 But the choices that fashion designers make, whether it's putting a mouse on a t-shirt 563 00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:59,320 and only giving girls the choice of pink or red or yellow, or it's as a adult woman, here's 564 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,100 your six inch heel. 565 00:30:02,100 --> 00:30:05,020 You're going to be uncomfortable all night long. 566 00:30:05,020 --> 00:30:06,520 You might fall and break an ankle. 567 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,600 You have to hold on to a man for support. 568 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:10,600 Break an ankle. 569 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:18,640 But think about that, heels, I mean I'm not great at walking in heels anymore, but I have 570 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:23,360 to hold on to my husband for support if I'm in a high enough heel. 571 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,440 Especially going up and down stairs. 572 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:27,680 Girl, gotta hold on to something. 573 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:36,280 I think heels have kind of come a long way in that when we were in high school, the stiletto 574 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,600 platform heels were the most popular. 575 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:44,200 And I remember just practicing walking up and down the hallway because I was like, well 576 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:48,800 I don't want to look like an idiot giraffe, I need to figure this out. 577 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:54,160 Now I personally choose heels if I want to wear heels that are chunkier, shorter. 578 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:59,320 Give me more support, but I still get that look of the leg. 579 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,360 But yeah, you're totally right. 580 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:06,600 And also, whenever you see a dress and they're like, oh it has pockets, why do you think 581 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:07,600 that's exciting? 582 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,320 I don't have to carry a stupid purse. 583 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:18,280 Well, this author talked about how for women, if you do manage to have pockets in something, 584 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,720 it's usually like this tiny little useless pocket. 585 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:21,720 Like why? 586 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,840 If I sit down, my phone will absolutely fall out. 587 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:28,400 And you can't even make these, there was a time where phones were much smaller and so 588 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,620 maybe pockets were made to fit those. 589 00:31:30,620 --> 00:31:31,960 It's been a hot minute. 590 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:32,960 Phones are big. 591 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,200 We need bigger pockets. 592 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:35,200 Give me a pocket. 593 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:41,600 I remember the last time when we went and saw Six, I wore a blazer to that and it had 594 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:46,200 pockets and I didn't have to carry a purse with me into the theater that they had to 595 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,360 check that had all kinds of stuff. 596 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:53,640 I was able to put my phone in my wallet and all my stuff in this pocket and it was a game 597 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,280 changer, I'm telling you. 598 00:31:55,280 --> 00:32:00,240 Well, we make this joke like, oh women get to carry everything with them or whatever. 599 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,800 I don't want to carry everything with me. 600 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,600 I want to carry my phone. 601 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:10,160 My ID in case I want to drink and my debit card and that is all I want on my, and maybe 602 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:11,160 a lipstick. 603 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,160 A key, you know, so you can leave. 604 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:19,480 And if I had a proper pocket, I could do those things. 605 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:25,480 But because I don't, I have this purse that frankly can, depending on the purse, can cause 606 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:26,480 skeletal issues. 607 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:27,480 Okay. 608 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,480 I'm not even kidding. 609 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:34,200 I remember back in the day too, it was like almost a status symbol to see how heavy your 610 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,200 purse was. 611 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:36,640 How many things do you need to survive? 612 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,120 Just four books in here. 613 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:48,200 I'm like, I have my wallet, I have my firstborn, I have baby elephants in my purse. 614 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,480 We have a cousin and she's so funny. 615 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,160 She carries absolutely everything she's ever owned with her. 616 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,680 She has these gigantic purses. 617 00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,400 Just a little sherpa. 618 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:02,960 She's got her laptop with her at all times and all of her books and all of her assignments 619 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:03,960 and whatever. 620 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:08,360 And it's just, it's funny because obviously, you know, you can't put your laptop in a pocket 621 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,800 probably unless you're, you got some intense pockets. 622 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,160 I've seen some real good pockets. 623 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:24,560 But expecting, you know, and that's for work for her, but outside of that and just in normal 624 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:30,960 life, expecting women to have to carry all of these things, to have to carry your wallet. 625 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:34,160 And also, yeah, the thought of like, oh, don't worry, she's got it. 626 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:35,160 Don't worry, she's got it. 627 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:41,320 She's got the gum, the diapers for the baby, all the things. 628 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,600 And in heels yet. 629 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,400 And I know as women, we like to say things like that. 630 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:47,400 And I did it in heels. 631 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,880 To be like, and look how strong I am. 632 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:55,760 Because we've had to change the narrative to say, no, we are actually incredibly strong. 633 00:33:55,760 --> 00:34:00,400 We're going to do everything you did, but also in heels. 634 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,800 It's just sad that that has to be the comparison. 635 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,000 Imagine how much further we could walk if we weren't in heels. 636 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:11,520 Yeah, I saw a term on one of the articles that I was reading calling it social devaluation. 637 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,560 Yeah, that hits hard. 638 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:15,960 It does. 639 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,840 Let that sink in. 640 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:22,360 And what's really difficult about it is I see it seep into myself too. 641 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,400 They call that implicit sexism. 642 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:26,200 I was looking that up as well. 643 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:31,760 So it's one of those things, as opposed to explicit sexism, which is where someone is 644 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:32,960 like overtly sexist. 645 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,640 You know that when you see it. 646 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:40,680 It's these little biases that you don't realize got stuck in your head when you were 10 and 647 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,960 now they're coming back out when you're talking to your daughter. 648 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:44,960 Subliminal messages. 649 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:45,960 Subliminal messages. 650 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,120 Bring it back around. 651 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,320 You don't think about it. 652 00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,280 You don't realize it. 653 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:53,840 And how can we detox almost from that? 654 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:55,960 Or deprogram our brains. 655 00:34:55,960 --> 00:35:02,520 And I think it's so important to be aware of these things so that as we're raising our 656 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:08,280 daughters or our nieces or we're volunteering at church or at schools or wherever you happen 657 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:15,120 to be interacting with young children, that you can pull these things out of your vocabulary. 658 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,400 There's another TikToker. 659 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:22,440 And she was talking about little feminist acts of... 660 00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:27,760 I don't know what she does, but she was talking about how whenever she refers to someone that 661 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:33,460 she doesn't know exactly whether they're male or female and they're in a position of power, 662 00:35:33,460 --> 00:35:34,460 she always says she. 663 00:35:34,460 --> 00:35:37,680 Like if she's talking about a doctor, she's saying she. 664 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:42,000 Bekkah actually you showed that to me and she did one about her relationship as well. 665 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:46,440 And she said one of the things that she does is she doesn't essentially infantilize her 666 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,660 partner. 667 00:35:47,660 --> 00:35:53,360 She doesn't take on buying Christmas presents for his family or making sure that he texted 668 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,160 his mom on Mother's Day or whatever. 669 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,240 Ruthie And it's not out of aggressiveness or violence. 670 00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:03,400 It's just to deprogram her brain into always thinking, oh, this person's in a position 671 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,240 of power, they must be a man. 672 00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:10,860 Oh, because I'm a woman, I have to take on making sure that my husband maintains a relationship 673 00:36:10,860 --> 00:36:11,860 with his family. 674 00:36:11,860 --> 00:36:12,860 You know? 675 00:36:12,860 --> 00:36:20,160 Because at least in the marriage perspective, I did that for a while and then I realized 676 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,240 I'm not actually helping anyone here. 677 00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:29,760 My husband is a human being who has all the same abilities that I do and he can handle 678 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:30,760 it. 679 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:32,220 He can handle buying presents. 680 00:36:32,220 --> 00:36:34,160 He can handle his own relationships. 681 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:38,560 I don't need to do that for him because he's not a child and I'm not his mother. 682 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:43,240 Are you looking for a partner or a parent? 683 00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:47,760 All right, well, we should probably wrap this one up guys because this is longer than most 684 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:48,760 of them. 685 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,320 Well, we can really cut out a lot of my singing. 686 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,600 No, I'm keeping that in for sure. 687 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:53,600 Really rude. 688 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,440 100% of the singing is staying in. 689 00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:56,440 No, thank you. 690 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,560 Would you like me to think of another song to sing? 691 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,240 I would love if you didn't. 692 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:01,240 No! 693 00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:08,400 If I were the king of our ass! 694 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,160 Where did that one come from? 695 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:11,160 Not a mouse! 696 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:12,160 Not a... 697 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:13,160 I don't know. 698 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:14,160 Not a... 699 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:15,160 I don't know. 700 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:21,160 I hope you guys enjoyed that. 701 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,160 I'm sorry. 702 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,160 I'm gonna go have a margarita-ta. 703 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,440 Okay, you do that. 704 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,920 We'll see you guys next week when we talk about toxic femininity. 705 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:30,200 I said it right that time. 706 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,680 I also got really confused. 707 00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,360 I was like, we just filmed that. 708 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:36,360 That will come after this episode. 709 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,560 Alright, we'll see you guys later. 710 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:39,560 Love you. 711 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:40,560 Bye! 712 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:41,560 I love you! 713 00:37:41,560 --> 00:38:07,560 I love you!