Welcome to the Love Sex and Leadership podcast where you can discover simple tantric teachings to embody your true power, awaken your soul's wisdom and live an inspired life as a natural intuitive and heart centered leader. Welcome everyone to another episode of Love Sex and Leadership. I'm very grateful to have a dear friend and fellow colleague in this wide world of tantra and transformational work. Uh My friend Dra, who he and I will actually be teaching a men's initiation journey. Coming up in a couple of months. We've known each other for many years and he's a, a fellow uh tantric man on this journey of, of helping people around the world and very grateful for his uh presence in my life. Welcome to the show, Don Rush. Happy to be here, Aaron, thanks for inviting me and uh very excited to be here. Yeah. So those of you who don't know Dan Raj and maybe want to find out a little bit about him. You know, he came into my life, gosh, probably 78 years ago. And um my experience of him was just this very intensely loving, passionate being that was so like deeply doven into this field of Tantra and that's my experience of him in my day to day life. And, you know, we've been friends now for many years and, yeah, I'd love for you to just start, you know, I know your former path is as a, you know, dentist and how you've gone from being a dentist into, you know, teaching tantra. A lot of people listening, you kind of finding their transitions in life. And you know, I think your story would be inspiring that side. Great. So starting in university, you know, I, I'm from the U SI, went to school in University of Illinois and starting from university, I, I was on the medical path going towards of dentistry. And also I was studying human sexuality and anatomy physiology. This was all very um biology of reproduction. This is all super interesting for me and that was when I first got exposed to tantra massage. So before any other aspects of tantra, relational tantra or sexuality or, or meditation, it was really very much about the uh massage piece, the body work piece. So I met Charles Muir, my first kind of tantra teacher or tantra massage teacher. So while I was studying to become a dentist, I was also training to be a tantra massage therapist. And of course, those two paths can never meet in the US where tru massage is considered prostitution illegal. So then I took on of course a pseudonym which which now is my, I don't even use my, my, my given birth name anymore. Now I'm, I'm only going by Dharmaraj, only the government and my parents call me something else. Right? So, um, so I trained to become a tantra massage practitioner and then tantra massage teacher. Well, and then I went to dental school, became a biological holistic dentist. And then in 2015, uh my life changed drastically when I met um as you know, Erin Nanda Sarita, great Tantra master who took me under my, under her wing and also we became partners. We went into relationship for 4.5 years. And basically, I knew from that point that dentistry was no longer my path. I couldn't live this dual life of, of t massage therapy and being a dentist. So I actually mostly dropped both and went into more tantra facilitation and teaching tantra meditation and different tantric practices. Um and went a little bit away from the the tru massage aspect, which I still give those sessions professionally from time to time. But that's not the core of what I do. So um since 2015, yeah, as as faculty and then lead faculty in Tantra in school with uh with the Serita. So this is what uh brings me joy out of um teaching Tantra, especially Tantra transformation group for, for singles and also for couples and also teaching men's work with you, Aaron, the men's initiation journey. So these are the things that, that bring me joy right now. Hm. Yeah, beautiful. I can uh celebrate your, your journey and, and coming more into your true essence. I, I think a question that I, I have and you know, it's a question I get a lot and I'd love to hear your perspective on it is, you know, in this field of tantra, especially you could say Neo Tantra or different kind of derivatives from Osho. And that, that lineage, how, how do you describe to someone kind of the the differentiation between these, you know, kind of ancient tantric scripts that you know, of course, deal with aspects of sexuality and what a lot of the main humanity and people look at tantra is just all about sex and, and how, where, where, where does that come in? Like where does the, the scripts and the ancient texts of Tantra really begin to meet your work? And in this work, you know, I, I I'm curious, your answer is something that comes across my desk quite often as well. Sure, sure this, this, there's, there's many different angles I could approach on this. And um so my, my training with Sarita is through the Osho lineage and, and Osho is a great tantra master, but he kind of coined the term Neo Tantra because he kind of brought Tantra to the awareness of the West in the uh in the 19 seventies. But um we really traced back the roots of Tantra and, you know, kind of why it got this, this kind of name of, of cult of sex because it's really misunderstood and mislabeled. And you know, this word has really become corrupted and perverted. There's, there's plenty of people out there teaching Tantra that in my opinion, is not at all anything to do with Tantra. It doesn't mean that it's wrong or bad, but it's just simply just not Tantra at all. So um you know why Tantra kind of got this label, we could really trace it back to Victorian England. And you know, as Americans, we blame the English for a lot, right? But so they colonized, took over raped and pillage, whatever, you know, took over India. And then the scholars, the Victorian Age scholars started to translate the ancient Tantric scriptures, right that they found. So they um they translated from Sanskrit to English and the oldest scripture that, that they they managed to find was the Vigyan by Rav Tantra at that time. So that was more than 5000 years old Tantric scripture, which is Lord Shiva. Um having a um a conversation with his consort Parvati uh about every aspect of the human experience because ultimately, Tantra is about every aspect of the human experience, including sexuality. So about um life and love and communication and the senses and, and um the chakras and their Kundalini energy and like everything that has to do with our human experience and with it. And in this scripture, there is 100 and 12 sutras which are methods of meditation. So one of the definitions of tantra, the word tantra is methods of meditation. So these 112 methods of meditation, very powerful, like even the Vasa of Buddha is one of these methods, right? And then 100 and 12 methods of meditation and six are sexual meditations that you would do with your partner in the bedroom through intercourse, right? Six out of 112 that's like 5%. So these scholars translating are coming from a prudish Victorian age society where they have to, you know, cover the table with the table cloth, cover the legs of the table because the legs were way too sexual, right? And all the women had to wear dresses all the way down to their feet. So this is a culture that's so suppressed sexually like, oh my God, sexual rituals. So five or six out of 100 and 12, this is the cult of sex. They must be all about sex. Ok? It's, it's 5% just like, you know, there's so many aspects of the human experience and sex is an important part of it. But one could make the argument that it's, it's 5% of the human experience. Um for some people, it's more than that obviously, but it's not the totality of what Tantra is not the totality of the of the human experience. But, you know, since then, Tantra's kind of got this reputation of being the cult of sex. And plus in our very much, in my opinion, sex negative, in a lot of ways, sexual culture or through religions that are sex negative than like, anything to do with sex is like, oh, my God. And this using Tantra as a buzzword because, oh, because, uh, it's, it's ancient and it's like spiritual and we can use this word. And now, now what we're presenting is more conscious than just, you know, an orgy or sex party. No, it's a tantric temple night. So, but potentially the same thing dressed up as something else. I know that you, you and I both lead Temple knights that are, that are not orgies that are actually really sacred and uh um and really kind of honoring this, this ancient spirit uh of, of the sacredness of sexuality. But um this perversion of the word and like I said, this, this Osho kind of lineage that I come from through Serita, through Osho. You know, she was 26 years in Oso's community, 17 years by his side before he started the Ashram to, after he died. So literally, she was always there with Osho absorbing his transmission and then I absorbed from, from her. So this is kind of what this is Neo Tantra as a um as uh Osho labeled it. And then after, after Osho came for example, Charles Muir, my teacher in the US who's now in his eighties, I have so much respect and gratitude for him. And he brought tantra in the US in through tantra massage and kind of goddess worship in the early eighties. And then that, that became kind of like a new age, new age tantra where there was a lot of focus on the, the, the chakras and the colors of the chakras and breathing together and sharing the energy of the heart and this kind of thing, which is part of tantra as well. But you know, the ancient, the ancient view of contra is, is way more broad than any of these, these categories that we might uh subscribe to. And then when we get closer to the late nineties, two thousands, it seemed like at least wherever I looked that Tantra, especially in the US was really focused on um sexual sovereignty and orgies, polyamory B, Ds M and kink like nothing wrong with those things. If in, in the right context, with integrity, all those things can be super beautiful. It's not contra from my perspective because if it doesn't include love, the feminine um principle and meditation and witnessing the masculine principle and the merging of these two opposites, then it's not tantra. So there's plenty of things out there that are sacred sexuality without meditation, I wouldn't consider that Tantra at all. So um anyone out there who's looking at tantra schools for example, I would my opinion first ask like, what is the lineage, where is this coming from? And is it based in love? And is it based in meditation? And if it's not, and is it based in like full presence and honoring the totality of the human experience, including our sexuality? And if it's not those things, it's not tantra. And as I said before, it doesn't mean that that thing, whatever it is is inherently wrong or bad. That could be a beautiful and healing, an amazing thing, but it's just not tantra. So I'm kind of sick and tired of, of people calling their shit tantra when it's, when it's really not. Yeah, totally fair enough. Um You know, I, I think they, there's been a tremendous amount of um misunderstanding around it. And, you know, part of the reason that I'm having these conversations with individuals as yourself. And part of the reason I started this podcast was to really have more conscious conversations around love, around sex, around um leadership around meditation, around how people can actually learn more grounded tools. And it's not just these esoteric concepts but actually ways to make an embodied difference in your day to day life and, you know, and, and experiencing and knowing you through the years, it's really, you know what I've experienced in, in your being. And I think this misunderstanding of, of tantra that's quite widespread, unfortunately puts a bit of a, a bad name you know, I found myself for many years not wanting to teach Tantra and not wanting to even have that label because the moment, you know, you show up in the world as a male tantra teacher, it's like, oh, you're this way, you're that way. And I haven't even opened my mouth and said hello. So that all of the, the thoughts and the projections and the beliefs get quite strong. And I also recognize I'm sure similar to you that there's a place of creating a healthy framework of what tantric can be in someone's life. Um And, you know, especially when it comes around tantric sex and, you know, this kind of theme of what we're talking about here. And, you know, I guess uh question to lean into, especially, you know, both of us being male bodies and working with a lot of men through the years and, you know, finding men who often kind of just want to find tantra maybe to be better in the bedroom and, you know, want to find ejaculation control or semen mastery or all these different pieces. And yeah, I'm curious like what your thoughts are or um support can be for men who are just kind of stepping into this path and wanting to find their way into this distant journey into this sexual journey into really discovering themselves more. You know, what, what does that look like? You know, from your framework and, and, and how do you see men can really open themselves into this field more. Yeah, great question Erin. I, I want to start a little bit with, with my personal story, my personal journey, like with my father being my male, main kind of influence or role model. And he was, you know, very loving and at the same time, quite abusive, physically and emotionally. And I kind of got this transmission that men are abusive and aggressive and angry. And I just want nothing to do with men, right? That this is just man equals bad. And the society also kind of echoes this, right? Like especially nowadays, like everyone's a toxic man, toxic masculinity, all this. Um but and I really believe that for many, many years, decades and it was really until I found this tantric community of loving conscious men and you being, you know, one of the leaders of that community, Erin and realizing that that's entirely just a story based on my own childhood trauma. And it wasn't true. And there's so many loving conscious men out there and tapping into that community was one of the highlights for me when I started getting into this field of men's work, men who come together and love and support each other. And when I grew up in the US, there was a lot of like fear of being gay and all this like, oh if you have any kind of, if you hug a man, you have any kind of intimacy with a man like you, you're so gay and there's like this fear, this homophobia, this fear of, of being a man that's just like freezes, freezes you from even hugging a man, you don't want to be considered gay by the other kids in the class or whatever. And you know, any kind of fear like this really, you know, keeps us from freedom, keeps us from, from being liberated beings from, from who we are. So through men's work, like really having like non sexual, like touch and hug and massage and intimacy with men, like sharing love with another man doesn't make you gay, just makes you a loving being. And it's, it's such a beautiful journey. It's one of the reasons I'm so passionate about this is to help liberate men from this kind of pervasive homophobia that anytime you like hug or you hold the hand of a man or you, you have any kind of physical touch or interaction, intimacy, even emotional intimacy with the man, you love a mother man, then that makes you you gay and you have to stop that. Like it's, it's totally, it's totally ridiculous. Um So I love, I love this, supporting men come into their freedom. So that's one of the things and I feel like that even precedes the sexual mastery piece because how, you know, first liberating yourself, freeing yourself from homophobia, freeing yourself from sexual shame and inhibition, being able to love your own body, self pleasure and all this. And then we can really talk about semen retention, sexual mastery, giving your woman or man or whatever your partner like the, the time of their life through being in your sexual mastery. Like there's, there's, there's a lot before that. So a lot of men come to, you know, get a men's coach such as me or you and they're like, oh, I really want to last longer. I wanna cure my premature ejaculation. I want to have the best sex ever. It's like, yeah, definitely, we will help you with that. And there's a lot of, there's a lot of shit that you need to do before that you got to take care of expressing your emotions. You got to do the deep inner work, your childhood work, your, your mother and father wounds your homophobia shit like there's so much there. So it's a wide field when we work with men and it's, it's, it's really exciting work. Hm. You know, I love this and, and what I really hear you're saying is that um for men to be more masterful in the bedroom, it's really about finding their own inner liberation inside. And, and you know, that's obviously one of the, the reasons I'm passionate in this work. And you know, the, the place of a man actually beginning to become free inside meanings, confronting a lot of their deeper dark shadows. And, you know, I came from a similar us background. I can definitely relate, you know, the level of homophobia and fear and, and all of that, that's so deeply and programmed and, you know, even for myself, I remember just to hold the hand of another man was like, whoa, what does that mean? It means you're holding the hand of another man and, and so many pieces inside of that. And, and one of the things that, you know, of course, you both witness in these men's initiations and retreats is just this deep level of brotherhood that forms, that has nothing to do around sexuality, but is actually deep intimacy. It's like this intimacy between men when they can just let all of their, their fears and, and, and all the trust that they often don't have for other men. And, and that's something, you know, I'd love to even dive deeper for you because I know you've had your own journey with your father. And you know, the all, all of the pieces of that like men that really don't trust other men. It's not something that we often talked about. It's like men just push things aside and they might get into a fight. But this deep rooted place that I think is in the male psyche that feels, you know, I can't trust a man. AAA man's gonna take advantage of, of women, he's gonna rape, he's gonna destroy, he's gonna pill it. He's gonna do all these things in the world. And I think so much of it has to do with like healing the father wound and, and I, you know, I know you've had a big journey with that. I'd love to hear more of like, how has that been for you to like have this, this deep level of, of frustration at times. I know I've had a lot of frustration towards my own father but to, to move through it in a way towards what's the, what's the resolution? Like, what's the place where a man listening who still is like, yeah, my father is a douche bag. Like how, how does he get beyond that? Like how does he move to a place that actually have loving acceptance for the father that brought him in this world? Yeah, and that can be challenging. It's challenging for me in that, in that journey as as well. Um coming to that space of forgiveness and love and, and just kind of realizing that he's a product of his generation and his culture of product of also the American influence and also the Chinese influence where, where he came from and how his parents raised him and uh the society and, and religion for many people. Um And it's, it's nothing personal and he did the best that he could. And I have tremendous gratitude. He came from abroad with like $100 in his pocket, which got stolen at the airport. So he literally had zero like it really. And gave me all the opportunity for education, for living in a safe uh country and escaping communism and all this and, and I have tremendous gratitude for that. And you know, the I did a lot of work around uh around this father wound and I did child a primal childhood deconditioning. I did color, color light therapy, uh prenatal series. I did um um what is it called Hoffman Institute process. I did many to trick processes, men's groups, mankind project like all these things were supportive to, to healing my my father wound. And the very interesting thing is that when I did the work myself and healed myself and then I would meet my father. It was as if he equally did the work, even though he did nothing, he just continued to live his life the way that he lived it. But it was like the healing happened for both of us and now I can visit him. We can have a great time. We can, you know, honor each other's choices in life and we can um you know, have that love for each other. And yes, the the forgiveness. There were things that he could have done better. But, you know, I'm, I'm very happy of where I am in my life now. And maybe if he would have done something, maybe if he didn't beat me, then I would have had a very different experience of, of life, maybe I would have ended up as a, you know, as, as a, as a doctor in some boring American hospital and I wouldn't be 100 teacher right now if I didn't have the suffering or the, the challenges or, or the abuse or whatever it was, it made me who I am. So, um and I also firmly believe that, you know, everyone will have a different world view or, or opinion or belief on this. But I, I really believe that we choose our parents. That's what I believe. I believe that I chose my parents to have the experience that I had, which includes him, beating me or whatever it was. So to make me who I am today, for me to have the experience that I have for me to show up here as a leader of men teaching men's groups and as a tan facilitator in one of the world's leading schools that, you know, my father was a big part of that. And as much as I received some negative imprint for me from him, he also imprinted in me many positive things as well. And, you know, through the men's retreats that we teach here. And it's like every time we ask the men, you know, who here has like a very positive male role model. You know, very few hands are being raised like who, who had, whose father was like really an ideal father treated you well and you know, very few hands get raised in this situation. So it's, it's pretty wide, it's very widespread that we don't have these proper male role models in life. And, you know, many, many fathers are douche bags, I guess and, and many of them are doing the best that they can based on their circumstances and based on their own traumas. So, um yeah, that's been my journey. I've done a lot of work probably more than most people will do about it. But even coming to men's initiation journey, like so so much will be healed around the father wound so much will be re imprinted about a healthy relationship with the masculine and within yourself and the the external masculine. So, you know, my my journey with this was significant from thinking all men were abusers and that the the penis is just a weapon that is used to hurt women. I literally energetically castrated myself as a as a teenager, like hitting puberty and like, oh no, now my dick is getting hard and I can use this to like hurt women just like my father or just like other asshole men. I literally like it. It's like the bottom half of my body didn't exist. And I became like the the neutered um best friend to the women that was not a sexual threat. And then wondering why, why is no woman desiring me? Like I did this to myself to protect them actually. But that's not what any woman wants. Actually a new Yeah. No. Exactly. So really what I hear you say, sharing about your father is that you went through a tremendous journey of, of forgiveness and actually like coming into and saying, well, thank you. I, I wouldn't have wanted any other father because it's made me the man that you are today. And yeah, I just wanna honor and celebrate that. And I've, I've had a, you know, very similar journey with my own father. And, you know, at times being like, you know, I think the words that I always wanted my father to say was just like, I've got this, you know, like can, can, can I actually let go a little bit and trust in, you know, my father and you know, he did other things great, you know, a lot of love and, and respect and appreciation, but just this place of like being able to get things done and, you know, I know for yourself with, you know, the actual physical abuse and finding men that come into this path that have had that physical abuse from their own father. And just how much of a deep uh wound that can leave and, and witnessing, you know, your own journey through the years and actually coming into recognizing the gift of that and the recognition to of course, not want to, you know, um abuse that power. So then cutting off your, cutting off your balls and cutting everything off and saying, I'm never going to be that way because men that use that are, are, are terrible. And unfortunately, I think that's where so many men almost go wrong as they have this feeling of like walking on eggshells. Well, society wants me to be really strong and powerful. But then, um, and then there's a me too movement that says don't be too strong and don't do too much. And so it's this constant feeling. So almost the easier way and even a lot of spiritual traditions, the easier way is just like having an ascension journey out of sexuality, but just so much of sexuality for men gets condemned and gets blamed and shamed and pushed down. And so this place of like, really, you know, maybe you call it like the dark masculine or like really a man owning his dark power in, in the bedroom and in, in life. And, and this is really where I find this conversation so sexy and intriguing because to me, this is where leadership comes in. This is where like a man who's powerful in the bedroom and masterful with Toric sex actually is a more leader, not because he's overarching and super strong and, and assertive, of course, that's necessary, but he also has a capacity to receive information to have receptivity. And I'd love to hear like you, you know, you mentioned earlier, polarity and tantra and, and how you feel like this place of both leadership of a strong leader that, that is, is assertive and confident and clear and, and how does his receptivity apply into that leadership? Because that's clearly what a man needs to be, to be a good trick lover. So where does that correlate to leadership? Absolutely. That's, that's a great question. So as far as a masculine leadership and being an integrated man and a ton trick man, it's really merging the feminine and masculine inside of ourselves and finding the strength in both. So on one hand, like just this like um aggressive kind of powerful strength like that alone is not the full picture of an integrated and and an effective leader. We also need the feminine side of the receptivity of the vulnerability and to be able to be receptive and vulnerable, that takes an incredible amount of strength and courage to be receptive and to be vulnerable. And however, to be only one and not the other, only the the hard ass strong ruler without the receptivity, well, that can lead to um oppression and, and aggression and violence and whatever. And if we don't have and if we're just the, we're only receptive, we're only in our soft feminine and we don't have that solidity in our leadership that also doesn't have the the structure that's needed to get things done. So really tantra another definition of the word tantra in sense because in scans frit, every word has multiple definitions and another definition is to weave. So tantra is also weaving masculine and feminine energies, weaving the strength and vulnerability and the strength and receptivity um for integration. So it's, it's kind of acknowledging that we come from oneness. However, we're playing in the three dimensional world that has duality and it's simply just the game and that and so this play of opposites is, is very much the human experience, very much. The tantric um experience is merging this uh um receptivity and the strength. So to have both, then you are the benevolent king, then you are the the the integrated masculine. Then you are the the true masters that can really create a better world of, of this merging of feminine and masculine. So this is where it's where things are lost, where a lot of, for example, women are um they're, they're cutting the balls of their men, right? It's like we have, we have to fight the patriarchy, we have to prevent the masculine from oppressing and abusing us. We need to denigrate them, we need to take them down a notch, emasculate. That's what I was looking for. So there's, there's a whole emasculation happening and, and almost a celebration of, of weak men in the, in the western world. And then there's a whole generation, I guess of single mothers telling their boys like raising their boys without a father and then it's like telling, don't be like your father. He's an asshole men are assholes, don't be like him. Well, we, we are men, right? Like so than to hate ourselves simply for the way that we were born. You know, we, we, we talk a lot about the, the struggles of the feminist struggles of, of women and that, that's, that's very much warranted. Like the, the, the challenges that women have. And we don't speak enough about the challenges of men. Like we don't speak enough about our challenges, our vulnerabilities and it's not easy to be a man in today's world, like the amount of expectation that's put on us and, and you have to provide and you can't show your emotions and then no, but you also can't be too strong. So then you have to be weak and you know, it's, it's a lot of mixed messages and like, what does it even mean to be a man? And who can we look up to as a male role model? And it's like, you know, Joe Biden is not our role model and neither is, is Trump. So it's like who, who in leadership can we really look up to, to really be an example of an integrated man who's integrated their masculine and feminine? Um Yeah, so even I think these tantric circles are the best way to get an imprint of, of really the healthy masculine, I must say. Yeah, no, II, I definitely agree a lot of that and, and I guess it's like what I see is, is in the mainstream world, you know, the leaders that men do have aren't necessarily so integrated and, and then they look at, you know, transformational coaches or trick coaches and, and other people. And sometimes even with that, there's can be a lot of these like deep embedded shadows. So I find men are like, well, I don't even know where to go anymore. And, you know, and, and one of the things that I, I really celebrate about your work and also, you know, this, this men's work that we create together is that even inside men's circles, like a lot of time in men's circles, it's, it's only like head up, they're only dealing with the issues of like the mind. And there isn't even a, a deeper level of embodiment. Like just this past summer, I had, you know, a man come to one of the men's retreats. I, I run, I was running in Portugal. He's been doing men's work for over 20 years, a big community in Portugal, an amazing, incredible brother and 23 days into our, into the retreat. He's like, I've never done practices like this before. Like this is brand new to me and of course, I'm celebrating that he gets to evolve and grow. But I'm also like, even inside of men's circles, there's not the depth of embodied work that that is necessary for a man to get out of the mind into the heart into his body, into his healthy, his healthy balls. You know, I guess it's part of the reason I wrote the book as well. It's like for men to actually have healthy masculinity in their head and their heart and their balls and it, it's, it's unfortunate in many ways and I, I guess the, you know, individuals as ourself are, are leading that, that direction. But I also like, I really long for more men in leadership in politics to like, have a healthy embodied life that's just like, actually knows how to breathe, knows how to last longer. I was just looking up the other day, the practitioner teacher training, I'm teaching here most men, the average time they last in bed is like five minutes like, what the fuck. And, and it's unfortunate and I know men who are listening right now are probably like, hey, that's me. So where does someone actually start? Like, where do they actually begin to rather than just talk about these ideas? Like, where does that change? Maybe they're in a men's circle and they realize that they want more or they're, you know, they, they've read a, you know, an introductory transformational book and they, they really, they're like, OK, I want to actually get into my body, I want to get into, to sex. I wanna get into, you know, how to be a healthy embodied man. Like where, you know, from what you see, not just you know, come to the retreat. But like what's some simple things that they can do in their day to day life that can begin to open them up more? Hm. That's a good question. Um So, as I've mentioned before, that meditation is, is really one of the two main pillars of tantra meditation and love. So to cultivating these two pillars are something that anyone can do in their daily life in, in different ways. There's many different self love practices and by self love, I don't necessarily mean self pleasure, although that could be part of it, but really loving yourself as a man, loving yourself and who you are. And I do it. I teach a beautiful practice called loving is receiving. That's on my Instagram. I talk about it. I'll be, I'll teach it in my retreats. Um And there's, there's many, many other practices to come back to the heart and come, come back to loving yourself and then also the meditation piece. And this is not necessarily just sitting in silence, although that's a very, you know, important and powerful way to meditate but active meditation and also working with your emotions. So many men don't realize that premature ejaculation, like one of the root causes of that among a few are inability to express emotion and repressed emotions and on a to kind of express and release. So these are, you know, learning express and release practices, pillow beating and screaming in, in cushions. You can learn that at our retreat or you can also look that up on your own. It, it's very simple to do and you can just do that by yourself on your own. Um and just very simple things, learning how to breathe and circulate your energy, visualize, circulating the energy through your body. Because for example, like the ejaculation reflex is also happening because that energy is building in our sex center and has nowhere to go. But doing practices like microcosmic orbit, like you can read about it in Monta Chia's book in Multi Orgasmic Man or Taoist Secrets of Love. Um And you learn how to circulate that energy. It doesn't take a lot to learn these practices and to implement them in your daily life. So you don't necessarily have to come to a retreat. There's even simple things you can find online, simple things you can find in books. There's a lot of great practices and a lot of great um advice also in Aaron's book. And now your book is uh in an audio book form, right? I know I prefer to listen to a book than to read one. So there's a lot of options for men out there. And then if you get inspired to go deeper, then work with me or Aaron or, or another man who you feel resonance with as a coach or come to one of our retreats, come to men's initiation journey, come to counter transformation, but that's usually not a first step for people to come to retreat and a retreat is not going to solve all your problems. Like really daily practice, making small incremental um changes or additions to your routine daily is what's gonna make the most difference in your life. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah, definitely. Um, wanna reiterate that place of daily practice. That's, you know, one thing that with the academy I teach with, you know, it really um reaffirm that the necessity because a lot of people want to make change and they wanna make shift and it's like, who are you waking up every morning looking in the mirror? Like what is it you're doing? How are you moving? Your body? Are your emotions moving? Are you stuck? Are you loving what you do? Are you waking up? Especially? It's a big piece for man, like a man that's not on purpose a man that doesn't say, hey, I love this work that I'm doing. It's probably not very good in the bedroom because there's not like a, a vibrational alignment of how he's showing up in the world, in, you know, in, in clarity to the man he wants to be. Um And you know, II I wanna kind of lead in that direction of for yourself, like in the, the work that you do and the leadership that you do, like this place of feeling on purpose, this place of like when, when you feel like you're on purpose and you feel like you're, you know, really guiding and inspiring and, and teaching and creating like, how, how does, how does your beloved respond to that? And, and I know there's a new beloved in your life. Like, how does she feel when she knows that you're on purpose? Well, that, that just turns any woman on and gets them. We, I mean, a man, a man who's not on purpose, how can they trust that he's really gonna be a protector and provider and, and maybe he's not gonna be on purpose as a father, you know, he's gonna like fuck off and then, and not care for the kids or for the family. So this is, it's really showing her that, that you have integrity, you have dignity, you are like you care for something you stand for something as a man and that you're passionate and you are staying with your passions, you're not staying in a loveless sexless marriage. That, that's, that's horrible or, or in a terrible job that you, that you hate. Like this is not giving her the impression that you're going to be a great lover or that you're gonna be a great father or a great partner or anything. So being on purpose, that's one of the things women look for the most in their man is, are they present? And are they on purpose? Right? Like all the other stuff is, is also coming later like is he tall? Does he have a big dick? Does he have a nice car? Like no, that, that's, that's all coming like much later. Like first is he present? Is he on purpose? Like already you're not those things. I'm not gonna take this guy seriously. So present and on purpose. Two things, man. If you're listening, take that in, you know, being on purpose is showing that you have a healthy third chakra your healthy solar plexus, the solar plexus is the place that we can expand ourselves. To hold all the contradictions in life and to hold the feminine in all her storms, whether that's the external or the internal feminine, right? And it's, it's the place where we, we find that harmony of opposites and we find this integration of power and receptivity or power and vulnerability. So if we, we not on purpose there, that's already showing a lack of alignment in our solar Plexus. It's already showing that we are not truly powerful men, but we don't have this integration of our receptivity with, with our, our, our strength, with our power. Mm mhm mhm Yeah. There's a, there's a lack of alignment there so. Right. Yeah. Beautiful. Well, I'm uh celebrating you and celebrating uh the, the, the creation we have coming up in uh in, in Bali at the end of April. Uh many, many more I know will be coming up through the years. I'd love to hear like what's on the front for you? Like, what do you, where is your leadership as a, as a, as a man in this field? What's, what, what, what, what are you creating, what's coming into into your world? Right. So in Bali I've got um I've got a mystic tantra massage practitioner training that's starting just in a couple of days. So by the time this podcast was released, probably that training is up, up and running and then Tantra Transformation retreat, which is my, one of my favorite retreats to teach other than the men's initiation. So I'm offering that in Bali a few times a year and also in Spain uh at Hidden Paradise. And you know, this, I don't know any other retreats other than these two where in seven days, the level of transformation, the level of life changing that happens for people in such a short period of time. So I'm really focusing on the retreats and projects that bring the most impact and to bring the most um joy that make me feel the most on purpose, right? So I used to teach many other trainings and then I've really focused on these core ones that, that are really the most passionate about at this time. So um come and join me for, to, to transformation, which is for men and for women, for singles and couples or come for men's initiation, which is for male bodies and, and uh male identified beings. So uh um yeah, really excited about both and in April. So we have from April 26th to May 2nd our men's initiation and then on um with me, you and, and Xavier and then we have on May 5th to 11th, I'm running a to, to transformation. So it's incredibly powerful to go from a week with men journeying together in our male polarity and then into a space of, of a mixed group with women and men together um um doing contract meditations and healing and growing and working on ourselves and evolving. It's such a, it's even more powerful to do it in that progression. I would say so. So yeah, I hope those of you watching will, will join us, will join me or Aaron around the world and also me and you both have a lot of festivals this summer that we're teaching at. So, so if you can find either of us, come talk to us and we're very approachable. And if you want to work with us, do coaching with us, we're available sometimes as well or even though our schedules are quite limited. But uh yeah, very excited to, to share and to bring this, this masculine embodiment and support for men. But also I love working with women. I have just as many female clients as male clients and just as many couples working with me as well. So, yeah, beautiful, beautiful. I know, I know you do too. Yeah. And, and I guess to, to close, like looking at this, I think one of the pieces in these podcast conversations that's so exciting for me is looking at kind of a new paradigm of leadership and looking at a new way of showing up and, you know, in, in a, you could say, in a minute or two, looking at also kind of a global scale, what do you feel is going to both birth and create a, a new level of, of embodied leadership leading into this world? Because there's a lot of, you know, I, I just saw um yesterday Apple had its big release of the new VR Glasses and, you know, I just, I just feel like we're moving farther and farther away from like human touch and that's more and more of an anomaly. And I, I'm, I'm curious from your perspective, like looking out into the future in the next 30 40 50 years of our lives, like, what's going to be the, the way where like people can stay embodied and healthy sex can happen and, and, and we're not just gonna become addicted to A I, right. I think II I thought about this a lot lately actually. And if we look at societies that are more advanced, technologically and more reliant on A I or computers or robots and all this, if we could look to like South Korea and Japan, where you have a lot of men addicted to video games, addicted to porn, like a whole generation of men who are saying like, I don't even want a girlfriend. Like I, I think they're called flower men or, or there's some word for it in Japan where it's like they don't want to deal with the emotionality of a woman or of the complexities of, of human, human, to human interaction and disagreements and arguments and, and this and that. So there's, there's a whole like getting lost in this, this online world, which is, as you're saying, becoming more and more prevalent, right? And even in, for example, in porn and now there's this like deep fake technology where instead of approaching the woman that you have attraction to, you can now take the face of that woman and without her consent, put it onto a porn star and it would look real and you're just fucking this woman digitally with no effort and then not even taking the initiative to even like speak to humans anymore or engage in human interaction. So it's, it's a a dark slippery slope that we have in terms of A I in terms of uh technology. So it's really, and, and how dangerous, for example, porn is how addictive it is that hijacks our brain and uh really sets us up for, for, for this new A IVR experience of, wow, you can now be virtually fucking anyone, any model or any supermodel or actress or girl you have a crush on down the street and now you can be fucking them and, and now you don't need to deal with emotions and arguments and, and the mundane of living with someone and, and having disagreements and you know, it's, it's really scary. It's really scary and we really lose our, our sense of self. So as much as we can be in contact with the earth, go on hikes, spend time with nature, spend time socializing with human beings to self pleasure, perhaps with your eyes closed, instead of watching some images that are highly stimulating and that are impossible to replicate in real life. So it's just just to have that awareness not to get, get trapped in that very alluring and addictive situation. And in the future, I'm sure they're gonna have not just the VR headset, there's gonna be some kind of a robotic vagina also sucking you off while you're, while there's also sense coming from the VR headset, all the sense, all the senses are being aligned. There's, there's literally sex robots now that are with A I intelligence and you can have conversations with them and they'll never say no to you either. So it's, it's really fucked up the direction we're we're headed and what is, what is possible and it's going to be extremely tempting to fall into that. And then that will be the demise of humanity, basically. Well, that's a, that's a good place to leave it. Yeah. So if you don't want the demise of humanity. Men come join us so you can learn how to be embodied. The the future of humanity depends on it. Come to men, men's initiation journey. The future of humanity depends on it. Only you can save humanity. See you in April. I think that's a perfect tagline. Amazing, amazing. Well, I uh I appreciate you man. I'm very, very grateful for your presence and your friendship and your brotherhood in my life and I look forward to creating you in April and uh thank you for who you are and how you show up in this plane. So it's been a pleasure to have you here. Yeah. Thank you, Aaron. Thank you for being a leader of men and, and sharing and spreading this work and making this more and more available for, for, for men to come into their integrity and come into their integration. So, thank you. Thank you, bro. Till next time. Thank you all and uh have a beautiful day. All right, see you. Thank you.