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Speaker 4: Welcome everyone
to Faith and Purpose podcast.

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Each episode of this podcast contains the
personal testimony of an ordinary person

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transformed by an extraordinary God.

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My name is Kaylin and I'm
here to introduce this podcast

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for my friend Jesse Duke.

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Jesse is a husband, father, author,
life recovery guide, lay counselor,

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and small group leader, but his
most important role is disciple.

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As a disciple of Jesus.

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Jesse created this podcast to help other
believers tell their faith stories.

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We'll be hearing the personal
testimonies of all sorts of people

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who have one thing in common,
Jesus has transformed their lives.

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Jesus used parables because he created
us to learn best through story.

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And as we listen to how God has worked
in others lives, we find encouragement

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and inspiration for our own faith walk.

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Whether you are already a believer or
just a curious seeker, we believe that

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as you listen to these stories, you will
be encouraged on your own faith journey.

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We are sure that God can speak to you
through one of these episodes and that you

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will see that our Heavenly Father truly
works all things together for our good.

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When we simply love and trust him.

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If you are currently going through a
trial, we believe that you will come

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to see that your troubles, heartbreaks,
and failures are not gravestones, but

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stepping stones into new life in Christ.

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Here's Jesse with today's guest.

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Okay.

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Welcome everybody to
faith and purpose podcast.

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I'm very happy today.

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Have a new friend, Lisa
Palmieri to tell her story.

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And I know you're going to get a
lot out of it, so let's get to it.

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How are you doing Lisa?

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Jesse: Okay

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Thank you for having me on this podcast.

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I'm very humbled to be here.

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Lisa: tell us how the Lord's been
dealing with you in your life.

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Jesse: Okay.

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I guess the best place to
start is the beginning.

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And, and we always had a sign in our
kitchen all the years growing up that

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the best way to begin is to start.

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So I'm going to start.

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I was, I was, born in, Okinawa.

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My dad was in the service.

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I was born, to.

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Two Italian parents, very Italian.

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My, my mom, I have an older brother
who was 11 years older than me.

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So I prayed for many years.

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so it was, I was thought of as a
miracle, to my mom and dad when I, they

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found out that they were pregnant with
me, my birth was somewhat traumatic.

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my mom almost died and so did I, and,
looking back, I suppose that was the hand

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of the enemy from the beginning, but,
we survived, and I had a younger sister,

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so my mom had another baby a year later.

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And we moved to Las Vegas, Nevada,
when I was four and I, had, another

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brother who was born in Las Vegas.

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So my mom had three of us, as an
older woman at the time, she was 40

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when she had my younger brother and
my dad was still in the service.

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And, I grew up, Roman Catholic,
so very Catholic parents.

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and so I remember on the base, even back
in that time frame, getting on a blue bus,

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going to church with my older brother.

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my mom didn't take me, but he did.

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And, vague memories of
that, but I do remember it.

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And, In 1969, my dad, decided he was
not staying in the service because they

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were going to deploy him to Vietnam.

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And because he had young children, he made
a decision that it was time to retire.

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As a senior master sergeant in the
Air Force, so it was a decision was

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made to move back to Massachusetts
where they were both from, and to be

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with family, especially for my mom
to help her with the younger kids,

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so we moved back to Massachusetts
and so my first real experience with.

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I'm going to say religion because
it really wasn't with Jesus.

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It was more religious, was in first grade.

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I went to a Catholic school, went to
Catholic schools, in my early youth.

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But as a young girl, going
to Catholic school, formed.

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I'm going to say my, what I thought
was who God was and who Jesus was and

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really the Holy Spirit was somebody
that was referred to as the Holy

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Ghost and never really talked about.

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And so God, was someone to fear.

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So my image of God as a young
child was someone that I feared.

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And so because I was taught, early
on that, God was looking at me and he

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was seeing all the things I did wrong.

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and I was taught by nuns.

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And so in that, back in that time, the
nuns could hit you and the nuns could,

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I remember getting our knuckles slapped
with a stick and it was just a, it was

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just a different way of understanding God.

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But I was a very holy little girl at
the time, very much, knew what sin

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was, knew what the right and wrong was.

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And I was always very hyper vigilant that
I didn't do anything to upset God because

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I didn't want the black spot on, I was
told that black spots would go on my soul.

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And because God looked at those spots.

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And so I, as a little girl,
didn't want any spots on my soul.

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and when you look back, when I look
back and I, as I teach now, I realized

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how horrendous that was of a teaching
for a young child, but that's what,

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The belief was that was the teaching.

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And and that was my image of God.

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And that fun carried through, for me,
all through my experience in Catholic

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schools was, I was always afraid.

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I was a very anxious child because I was
always afraid I was going to do something

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to upset God and he would punish me.

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And my mom, My mom hard.

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my dad was because he had retired.

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He still had to work.

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So he went into the post
office civil service job.

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So he was gone a lot.

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he worked a lot on a lot of overtime.

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My mom didn't drive.

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We used to have to rely on my uncle
and other people to take us places.

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But my mom suffered from depression.

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I didn't know that at a young age, but
as the years went on, she struggled.

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So my mom was, it was hard to be around
my mom at times because she was volatile.

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Like sometimes she was nice.

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Sometimes she wasn't, we didn't
really know what to expect.

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So I always felt I was being punished.

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If some, if she would have an, a
period of time where she wasn't

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okay, I felt like it was my fault.

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I did something wrong and
the Lord was punishing us.

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So I lived in that sphere.

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and my mom used to always tell
us if we did something wrong or

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if we made a face or something.

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God's going to combine say amen, meaning
we're going to get stuck that way with

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the ugly face, or, that, so this was the,
it just added to my image of who God was.

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I always was searching.

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I, as I look back in
retrospect for the answers.

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So I was always, digging.

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Unfortunately, I was looking in the wrong
places because God was someone I feared.

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in middle school, junior high
school, I started to, try to get

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answers to, to just life in general.

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And I had a very, a very keen,
understanding that something, there was

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a big, there was something bigger, but I
was, I decided that it was somewhere else.

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And so because my, my mom and she didn't
mean anything by it, but when I was a

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little girl, my birthday is in October.

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And so when I had a birthday
cake, the cake always had witches.

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And so for me, which is in
that type of thing, there were

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good, that was my birthday or
associated with something good.

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And sometimes like a coloring book and
crayons, my mom would hand me a coloring

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book and say, the witch brought it.

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I don't know why she said or
used those things, but she did.

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So in my mind, they were the
good thing that was good.

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So I ended up because living in
Massachusetts and having to study

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the Salem witch trials, a somewhat
fascination with witchcraft in the occult.

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And I just started reading books and
spirituality and just, my mind went

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towards that, but at the same time,
I always went to church and I always

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prayed, and so there was some confusion.

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A lot of confusion.

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in high school, I had a very
typical high school experience.

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I had a high school boyfriend that I had
to my whole high school, thought that he

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would be the one that I'd stayed with.

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But as things go on, after we
graduated, things didn't work out.

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And that began for me.

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a trajectory of a downward spiral of,
just being under in a home where things

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were just unstable, with my mom and
not truly understanding who I was.

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In my identity, and who God said I was, I
believed the things that were spoken over

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me, by people and anger, because I'm short
and little, I was teased a lot growing up.

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I was, just.

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You're sure you're, and I equated
that with, I wasn't worthy or

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I wasn't good enough or, I was
small, so I was overlooked.

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I no one knew me or saw me.

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I was just this thing, and
that was just the enemy's lies.

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But sadly, that's what I believed.

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And because of the breakup with my
high school boyfriend, and there was

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a lot of rejection, and I then felt
like, I, no one would want me and

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I was just lucky to have anybody.

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so I met, my, I met someone who I knew
was not the right person for me, McGecko.

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he had a lot of issues.

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he was a drug addict.

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He did drugs.

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I didn't, but, I thought I could save him.

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I thought I could be this, the savior.

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I thought that I could make a difference.

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I made a choice in my early twenties
to, it was either staying at home

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in the situation that was with my
mom and just, there was some things

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going on in the house that was,
there was trauma and I can, I just

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didn't want to be there anymore.

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I didn't want to get
sucked into the vortex.

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So I made a decision to move to
Florida with this person and it

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was a very difficult time for me.

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That was back in 19,
in the early eighties.

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and.

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Even though when I look back at that
time, I'm lucky that I'm alive, some of

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the things that happened to me because
it was an abusive relationship and many

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people ask, like, why would you stay?

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And it gets worse because I end up
marrying him, but why did you stay

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and why, and the only answer you can
give to someone is if when you're in

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an abusive situation or when you're,
have these things happen to you, you

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become, you must become under their
influence, per se, and you don't

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really have the ability to leave.

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So that ability to really realize
like I have the strength to leave and

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even though people said you have to
get out or why you with this person.

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In my mind, I wasn't worthy.

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It wasn't, I, God was already mad at me
for making some bad choices in my mind.

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I had all these black spots.

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I turned away from the Lord, not that
I didn't pray, but I just felt like

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there was nothing I could do to make
up for all, the choices I was making.

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And I just got further into it.

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And we moved back to Massachusetts
in 1988, and I wanted to move home,

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but that just didn't work out.

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So I ended up moving in with him because
we really had nowhere else to go.

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And then pressure to, from everyone.

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you can't live together.

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You have to get married.

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and I postponed the wedding date a couple
times and ended up getting married.

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It was a very big mistake for me.

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because it was in a very abusive
situation and that lasted, some time.

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And I was able to get out.

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the situation when we had a big church
wedding and everything and I remember

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that morning of the wedding being in the
limo and it was a rainy, it was April,

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and it was should have been a nice day
but it was cold and rainy and we had wet

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snow, and so if that didn't tip me off.

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I don't know what would have,
but I was remembering in the

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limo just wiping the mist off.

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looking at everybody gathering and
saying, I don't want to do this.

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And my dad was saying like, let's go.

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And I just, I felt like
I had to just go with it.

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Like I, I was just in this thing.

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I was in this marriage
and it was very abusive.

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And, during that time, I met a group of
people, group of women in the supermarket

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who asked me, do you know who Jesus is?

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to know the Lord.

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And I said, Oh, yeah, in
my, what I thought was.

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And so for a while, I was going to a
Bible study with this group of people

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that are born again, Christians.

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And, but I struggled
because I was Catholic.

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I was struggling with this new
understanding of the Bible and scripture,

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but I was very interested in it.

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but this particular group of
people were only interested

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in people that were married.

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and even though I confided in them
about the abuse, they basically

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said I had to stay in this.

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So they just made it worse,
because they said I had to stay.

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So my goal was to convert my husband.

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So we tried to have different meetings and
he would just go out of his way to, to say

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things and he was just not going for it.

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and so they, when I kept saying
I need to leave this situation,

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they stopped talking to me.

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It just, unless I stayed married
to this person, they just.

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And had him convert or, they, it
was whatever it was, they weren't

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there to support me for that.

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one day I went away for a weekend
and my husband went a little berserk

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and broke everything in our home.

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So my girlfriend and my sister
went and took whatever they could.

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And so I, after that, never went back.

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I got an apartment.

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And I found myself as a single mom and I,
thankfully my mom helped me with my son

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while I was in work full time, but I found
myself as a single mom raising, two boys.

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One was in daycare when she had.

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And.

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Working full time.

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And once again, in that same position
of being passed over, not being

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good enough, there was people had a,
written who they thought I was based

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off of me being a single mom and,
not being married and, having had

00:15:39.691 --> 00:15:41.911
this relationship that was traumatic.

00:15:41.911 --> 00:15:44.681
And I, what the people
that were close to me knew.

00:15:45.141 --> 00:15:48.511
About the abuse, but most don't most,
and this may be the first time they

00:15:48.511 --> 00:15:50.931
ever hear about how bad that was.

00:15:51.351 --> 00:15:56.241
But I knew that I left with
my life intact, and I may

00:15:56.241 --> 00:15:57.781
not have if I had stayed.

00:15:58.431 --> 00:16:03.101
and that had to do with the drugs, because
when the drugs weren't there, then it was

00:16:03.101 --> 00:16:06.741
a totally different person you're dealing
with, but drugs will do that, addictions.

00:16:07.301 --> 00:16:13.451
so this is all part of my story because
I felt as I come from where I am today.

00:16:15.186 --> 00:16:20.436
I can do what I do because the Lord has
let me live through these stories so

00:16:20.436 --> 00:16:25.886
that no matter who comes to me, no matter
who I pray for, I, nothing shocks me.

00:16:26.426 --> 00:16:29.806
There's probably nothing I haven't
seen or done or, have been a part

00:16:29.806 --> 00:16:33.716
of that someone's going to say
to me or know somebody that has.

00:16:33.876 --> 00:16:39.301
So as, as sad as it sounds, In
hindsight, I understand why I

00:16:39.301 --> 00:16:40.791
had to go through these years.

00:16:41.371 --> 00:16:46.041
but the years with my boys, were
hard because I worked full time.

00:16:46.601 --> 00:16:50.541
we didn't have a lot of money,
but I did the best that I could.

00:16:50.941 --> 00:16:56.981
Now, my, my second son was
a very difficult, child.

00:16:57.061 --> 00:17:00.421
So as a single mom, I now have this.

00:17:01.011 --> 00:17:06.541
two year old who I'm getting calls
from a daycare almost constantly that

00:17:06.701 --> 00:17:09.941
I have to either come pick him up
that he was acting out his behavior.

00:17:09.951 --> 00:17:11.301
There was all these things.

00:17:11.881 --> 00:17:13.601
this was a whole new world for me.

00:17:14.341 --> 00:17:22.001
And at three years old, we took him to
McLean hospital for an evaluation and

00:17:22.001 --> 00:17:27.261
they told me I have a report, we never
have encountered a child quite like this.

00:17:27.261 --> 00:17:29.361
We don't really understand now.

00:17:29.871 --> 00:17:34.291
It could have been, I'm not going to
say my, my, it could have been some

00:17:34.311 --> 00:17:37.861
autism could have been from vaccine.

00:17:38.606 --> 00:17:40.436
Because he was as a baby and infant.

00:17:40.446 --> 00:17:41.266
He was very good.

00:17:41.276 --> 00:17:43.056
He was one of the easiest one.

00:17:43.386 --> 00:17:46.956
It started after a, a doctor's visit.

00:17:47.016 --> 00:17:50.836
Some, there was some noticeable changes,
but then it just got progressively worse.

00:17:50.866 --> 00:17:53.426
But whatever the case is, God knows.

00:17:53.716 --> 00:17:58.281
And, it opened, it began this, I worked
full time for a job that I was getting

00:17:58.281 --> 00:18:02.851
called all the time to come pick up
my son, or he couldn't be managed.

00:18:02.851 --> 00:18:08.111
And at that same time,
I met my husband now.

00:18:08.471 --> 00:18:13.171
and so he was very supportive
of, me trying to find help for my

00:18:13.171 --> 00:18:15.161
son and, just different things.

00:18:15.171 --> 00:18:18.351
So when we decided to get married.

00:18:18.776 --> 00:18:23.166
We also made a decision because we
worked in the same company, that I would

00:18:23.406 --> 00:18:27.596
not work anymore and that I would stay
home and concentrate on getting help

00:18:27.596 --> 00:18:32.046
for my son, Joshua, and what I did.

00:18:32.586 --> 00:18:37.046
And, shortly there after three
months after having gotten married

00:18:37.256 --> 00:18:40.756
for a second time and a marriage
was something I wanted to do again.

00:18:41.786 --> 00:18:44.206
And it took a lot for me to say yes.

00:18:44.691 --> 00:18:50.701
To want to get remarried and to open
myself up to, a new relationship.

00:18:51.121 --> 00:18:55.696
And, but I did it because I really
wanted to give my children, my

00:18:55.696 --> 00:18:57.846
sons, the better part of me.

00:18:57.846 --> 00:19:00.926
I thought I, I could stay home and
I could take care of them and we'd

00:19:00.926 --> 00:19:05.296
have a nice home and, it didn't quite
work out the way I wanted it to,

00:19:05.706 --> 00:19:07.786
but it's been a work in progress.

00:19:07.836 --> 00:19:09.066
my, my son.

00:19:09.406 --> 00:19:16.706
It got progressively worse as time
went on, and at the same time, I found

00:19:16.706 --> 00:19:23.336
myself pregnant at 40 with my daughter,
three months after we got married.

00:19:23.936 --> 00:19:26.896
Our anniversary is actually
next week, so it'll be 20 years.

00:19:26.956 --> 00:19:30.676
three months later, here I am
pregnant with another child.

00:19:31.146 --> 00:19:35.756
And dealing with this child with what
happened to be, mental health issues

00:19:35.766 --> 00:19:37.276
or something that looked like that.

00:19:37.906 --> 00:19:41.666
And, that first year of marriage
was very difficult because

00:19:41.666 --> 00:19:43.476
there was a lot of stressors.

00:19:43.906 --> 00:19:49.586
Going on, with my son, with my daughter,
and my husband has a son too, and there

00:19:49.586 --> 00:19:55.626
was just trying to figure it all out,
and it became very stressful, for me,

00:19:56.546 --> 00:20:02.456
my, and then when I was pregnant in
March of that year, my, my son got,

00:20:02.506 --> 00:20:07.276
It was in kindergarten, called, he
was in school and he made a little

00:20:07.826 --> 00:20:11.046
thing with a paper clip and they
said that he made a little weapon.

00:20:11.456 --> 00:20:14.056
And they called the police
and the ambulance came and

00:20:14.466 --> 00:20:15.916
he went into a hospital.

00:20:16.516 --> 00:20:21.706
So here I am, newly married with,
pregnant with my son in a hospital

00:20:21.706 --> 00:20:23.186
and it was a whole new world for me.

00:20:23.186 --> 00:20:27.016
It was just, I didn't, I had
never, Even knew that this existed

00:20:27.016 --> 00:20:30.356
that, five or six year old would
be in a psychiatric hospital.

00:20:30.846 --> 00:20:35.006
and so I spent a week mostly
in the hospital at the same

00:20:35.016 --> 00:20:36.406
time my grandmother died.

00:20:36.906 --> 00:20:40.296
and my mom got very sick
all, all in the same time.

00:20:40.296 --> 00:20:41.416
So there's a lot of trauma.

00:20:41.416 --> 00:20:44.386
There was a lot of stuff going on
when I was pregnant with my daughter.

00:20:45.291 --> 00:20:45.641
Lisa: Wow.

00:20:45.881 --> 00:20:50.971
Jesse: yeah, but I had my faith at
the time I did lean on the Lord.

00:20:50.971 --> 00:20:54.541
I always prayed, I was always
carrying, my books of prayers.

00:20:54.561 --> 00:20:59.301
And, I always, no matter where
I was always had that be upfront

00:20:59.301 --> 00:21:02.641
and people would always notice
that, how are you standing up?

00:21:02.691 --> 00:21:03.531
Like, how are you doing this?

00:21:03.531 --> 00:21:05.461
And I said, I'm praying, I have faith.

00:21:06.121 --> 00:21:10.011
and again, it's not like the faith I have
now because it was more that rote prayers

00:21:10.041 --> 00:21:13.631
as, pleading with God to help me, but
not understanding that he was with me.

00:21:14.181 --> 00:21:17.341
it's more of, he's out there
somewhere, but I'm just gonna hang on.

00:21:18.151 --> 00:21:22.691
and so for Josh, it was a long
road that we had with him.

00:21:23.191 --> 00:21:26.791
he had five hospitalizations
before he was 10 years old.

00:21:27.266 --> 00:21:31.406
and a lot of it was because nobody
knew really what was going on with him.

00:21:31.756 --> 00:21:37.036
We had tests and different things and,
because I was not understanding, I,

00:21:37.076 --> 00:21:38.536
it was in a different place back then.

00:21:38.536 --> 00:21:43.386
I was just under, didn't understand
the whole world of psychopharmacology

00:21:43.396 --> 00:21:45.976
and medicine and different things.

00:21:45.976 --> 00:21:50.686
And so a lot of what I know now
was probably medicine related.

00:21:51.246 --> 00:21:52.516
Sometimes it made him worse.

00:21:53.071 --> 00:21:58.061
Some helped, but he really
struggled and, in those years

00:21:58.061 --> 00:22:00.311
of him being in the hospital.

00:22:00.311 --> 00:22:04.071
I had my daughter who, also struggled.

00:22:04.421 --> 00:22:08.721
She was almost as difficult as
him, and she had selective mutism.

00:22:09.181 --> 00:22:11.591
By the time she was two
years old, she wouldn't talk.

00:22:12.001 --> 00:22:13.611
She would talk to us, but no one else.

00:22:14.361 --> 00:22:14.891
And.

00:22:16.146 --> 00:22:18.526
The Lord blessed me
with two other children.

00:22:18.716 --> 00:22:25.176
So in four years from 40 to
45, I had three more children.

00:22:25.306 --> 00:22:31.556
yeah, so the Lord, for whatever
reason had, it has this all plotted

00:22:31.556 --> 00:22:35.746
out and I know he knows what he's
doing, but at the time it was a lot.

00:22:35.991 --> 00:22:39.531
There was a lot, and I have my older son
who was, he was in high school by the time

00:22:39.531 --> 00:22:41.951
I had my youngest son, he was graduating.

00:22:42.451 --> 00:22:48.181
So by the time Josh was 10, Josh went
to live somewhere else, because we

00:22:48.191 --> 00:22:51.091
could no longer manage him safely.

00:22:51.891 --> 00:22:55.381
and there was I'd like to say
that everything in the home

00:22:55.391 --> 00:22:56.811
was perfect, but it wasn't.

00:22:56.901 --> 00:22:59.891
So there was a lot of, in our
marriage, there was a lot of.

00:23:01.176 --> 00:23:01.946
discord.

00:23:02.166 --> 00:23:05.066
There was a, there's, there was
a, we weren't on the same page.

00:23:05.066 --> 00:23:07.266
There's a lot of difficult time.

00:23:07.836 --> 00:23:13.526
And I really had to lean on the Lord
in those times because I found myself

00:23:13.556 --> 00:23:20.196
here, like I said, 45, five kids in
a marriage that didn't necessarily

00:23:20.196 --> 00:23:26.316
turn out the way I'd envisioned it
to, and leaning on the Lord the best

00:23:26.316 --> 00:23:28.576
I could, but also aging parents.

00:23:29.436 --> 00:23:35.136
and I ended up having to take care of
them or, help, especially with my dad.

00:23:35.406 --> 00:23:38.396
I was driving my dad back and
forth to doctor's appointments

00:23:38.396 --> 00:23:40.436
and just, different thing.

00:23:41.266 --> 00:23:44.726
Being the caregiver, in my family,
I guess that's what I've always been

00:23:44.726 --> 00:23:49.556
looked at as even though I wasn't the
oldest, I just took on the role of mom.

00:23:50.396 --> 00:23:54.276
Especially, for my younger sibling
when my mom really couldn't do it.

00:23:54.816 --> 00:23:58.726
so it was something I was used
to, but it was without my faith.

00:23:59.246 --> 00:24:01.646
I don't know how I would
have been able to handle it.

00:24:02.256 --> 00:24:06.356
so when my son was, when we were
really trying to fight the system

00:24:06.356 --> 00:24:11.726
to get my son the best care and the
best schools, I decided to go back to

00:24:11.726 --> 00:24:14.226
school to become a special ed advocate.

00:24:14.326 --> 00:24:20.046
which I did and that I
used a lot of my faith.

00:24:20.046 --> 00:24:24.456
I brought my faith into a lot of things
and each, it's, it, when I look back how

00:24:24.456 --> 00:24:29.446
God was in every single moment, where I
could witness, even though I didn't know

00:24:29.446 --> 00:24:33.796
at the time, that's what I was doing,
the power of God and the strength of God.

00:24:34.206 --> 00:24:35.946
just the way he laid out different things.

00:24:35.946 --> 00:24:40.686
And so as a special ed advocate,
I was able to get my son the best.

00:24:42.336 --> 00:24:47.496
schools and in the best programs
where no one thought I could.

00:24:47.536 --> 00:24:54.786
So this is where I started to gain some
strength of this is who I am, not who the

00:24:54.786 --> 00:24:59.736
world tells me I am, and not the labels
that have been put on me by meme calling.

00:24:59.756 --> 00:25:04.491
Because, at this point, Being
in abusive, verbal abusive,

00:25:04.691 --> 00:25:06.571
physical abuse, verbal abuse.

00:25:07.111 --> 00:25:11.571
The words spoken over me were always like,
you're not good enough, you're not smart

00:25:11.571 --> 00:25:15.261
enough, you're ugly, you're fat, you're
this, you're that, whatever mean thing

00:25:15.261 --> 00:25:19.781
somebody would say would come at me, it
was, everything was on me and those were

00:25:19.781 --> 00:25:21.811
the labels that I carried for a long time.

00:25:22.286 --> 00:25:29.116
So that self condemnation and just being
in trauma really does affect your body.

00:25:29.276 --> 00:25:33.256
It affects how you think, it
affects a lot of different things.

00:25:33.766 --> 00:25:38.036
So for that period of time, when I was
the advocate, when I was advocating for

00:25:38.036 --> 00:25:43.571
other I really felt like the Lord was
using me in many situations to bring.

00:25:44.751 --> 00:25:48.161
I would pray with people, it was
every single person that he brought

00:25:48.161 --> 00:25:52.761
me to was somebody that was open
to prayer, where I was able to pray

00:25:52.761 --> 00:25:57.801
with them through situations and get
services and get, especially fighting

00:25:57.801 --> 00:26:02.831
the system, it's almost impossible to
gain, get services and IEP meetings.

00:26:02.831 --> 00:26:06.511
And if anybody's familiar with that,
they know that it's very difficult.

00:26:07.011 --> 00:26:07.221
and

00:26:07.361 --> 00:26:10.171
Lisa: So you were you
advocating for other parents?

00:26:10.411 --> 00:26:12.841
Jesse: other parents, as well
as from my own children, yes.

00:26:13.761 --> 00:26:15.731
I didn't charge anything.

00:26:15.871 --> 00:26:20.211
it was more for me to just, because
advocacy can cost a lot of money.

00:26:20.371 --> 00:26:24.221
So I know that when I tried to get
one for myself, it was, would have

00:26:24.221 --> 00:26:27.461
been thousands of dollars that I would
have spent to have somebody help me.

00:26:27.461 --> 00:26:30.391
So I chose not to charge people.

00:26:30.761 --> 00:26:33.341
I just gave them my time to do it because.

00:26:33.956 --> 00:26:39.926
It was important for me to see these kids
be successful and not, push to the side.

00:26:40.436 --> 00:26:40.946
yeah.

00:26:41.126 --> 00:26:48.566
And so I'm happy to say that for
my son, I fought for him to get

00:26:48.566 --> 00:26:51.856
into a specific school that had
everything he needed because he

00:26:51.896 --> 00:26:56.816
was in a place that was not helping
him and the school was denying him.

00:26:57.321 --> 00:27:00.621
they said they wouldn't pay for
it and Department of Mental Health

00:27:00.631 --> 00:27:03.691
didn't want, they weren't able to
pay for this when they would have,

00:27:03.721 --> 00:27:07.471
but they weren't allowed to give
that money to this particular school.

00:27:08.101 --> 00:27:12.471
but this school had everything he
needed and I even sought out attorneys

00:27:12.901 --> 00:27:15.671
and, they said, Lisa, there's
no way you're going to win this.

00:27:16.306 --> 00:27:19.726
Because you have, you have to
set them up to fail before the

00:27:19.726 --> 00:27:22.716
way the system's set up, you fail
before you can get what you need.

00:27:23.076 --> 00:27:24.896
And I said, no, we're
not going to do that.

00:27:25.196 --> 00:27:28.086
I, and so I prayed and I prayed
and we came to the meeting

00:27:28.636 --> 00:27:30.736
and I let everybody talk.

00:27:30.736 --> 00:27:34.526
And then I just basically
spoke from my heart, what the

00:27:34.526 --> 00:27:35.966
Holy Spirit told me to say.

00:27:36.386 --> 00:27:41.446
And, I just, leaned on the Lord
and I trusted that he was going

00:27:41.446 --> 00:27:42.556
to do what he was going to do.

00:27:42.566 --> 00:27:44.761
And Sure enough, he won.

00:27:44.821 --> 00:27:49.661
I won and my son was able to go
to the school and they, so it

00:27:49.661 --> 00:27:51.991
was twice that the Lord did that.

00:27:52.561 --> 00:28:01.171
and then in 2014, my dad, 2013,
he got sick New Year's Eve.

00:28:01.171 --> 00:28:02.761
We, he was diagnosed with.

00:28:03.236 --> 00:28:07.256
colon cancer, and they told us
he had six months, but it was

00:28:07.256 --> 00:28:08.746
really six weeks that he had.

00:28:09.196 --> 00:28:16.836
So in 2014, my dad passed away and my
dad was really my, Person that I relied

00:28:16.836 --> 00:28:19.026
on, so my dad was always there for me.

00:28:19.026 --> 00:28:21.046
He was my rock.

00:28:21.046 --> 00:28:26.516
And so I think that's why I'm able to
understand the love of the father, because

00:28:26.516 --> 00:28:28.706
I had the love of the father and I get it.

00:28:29.266 --> 00:28:31.256
so when my dad passed away.

00:28:32.141 --> 00:28:36.641
at that time, my now it was my
daughter's turn to be facing

00:28:36.641 --> 00:28:38.341
some things that my son did.

00:28:38.341 --> 00:28:42.581
So the school, said that she could
no longer attend public school and

00:28:42.581 --> 00:28:46.961
they had her in a 45 day placement
trying to evaluate where they

00:28:47.141 --> 00:28:48.631
thought that they could send her.

00:28:49.221 --> 00:28:54.541
my dad was had passed away and my
son was now having to be moved to a

00:28:54.541 --> 00:29:00.361
different school because there are some
problems and all in this timeframe.

00:29:01.931 --> 00:29:04.191
I was trying to hold it all together.

00:29:04.211 --> 00:29:07.011
So I remember just fighting
the fight for my daughter.

00:29:07.011 --> 00:29:11.911
Once again, when I found myself
fighting for my son, my dad having

00:29:11.911 --> 00:29:14.971
passed away and having to take care
of my mom and trying to get her

00:29:15.491 --> 00:29:17.741
everything she needed and settled.

00:29:18.321 --> 00:29:25.111
And I remember fighting the same
fight with Ava and the school was

00:29:25.111 --> 00:29:29.941
telling me that she had to go to a
behavioral school, which was, It would

00:29:29.951 --> 00:29:33.961
be detrimental for my daughter because
she, my daughter needed a very quiet

00:29:34.681 --> 00:29:38.541
place that was trauma informed and this
place wasn't and they weren't listening.

00:29:38.551 --> 00:29:42.291
Again, it was try it if it
doesn't work, then we'll, and

00:29:42.291 --> 00:29:43.901
I, so I was fighting, fighting.

00:29:43.911 --> 00:29:45.841
And it was that same, was the same thing.

00:29:46.346 --> 00:29:47.346
You're not going to win.

00:29:47.356 --> 00:29:48.506
This isn't going to work.

00:29:48.726 --> 00:29:54.606
And the school I wanted her to
go to had only so many spots.

00:29:54.606 --> 00:29:55.876
So it was like a lottery.

00:29:55.886 --> 00:29:58.466
So as the spots went, that was it.

00:29:58.476 --> 00:30:01.356
Once the spots were gone, there
was no, there was nothing.

00:30:01.906 --> 00:30:04.916
and when we first started the
process, there were six spots.

00:30:05.516 --> 00:30:08.416
And as we were getting closer
to the school, just not giving

00:30:08.416 --> 00:30:10.006
in, there was one spot left.

00:30:10.956 --> 00:30:13.806
And then I got a call saying
that the spot was taken.

00:30:15.206 --> 00:30:20.286
So I was devastated and I said, I'm
still going to fight for her to not go to

00:30:20.286 --> 00:30:22.126
this other place, whatever that may be.

00:30:22.366 --> 00:30:23.376
But I prayed to the Lord.

00:30:23.376 --> 00:30:26.816
I remember getting on my hands and
knees and saying, Lord, I really, I need

00:30:26.816 --> 00:30:29.266
this, why Ava needs this, we need this.

00:30:29.826 --> 00:30:33.686
And I got a call saying the person backed
out, they weren't able to get the funding.

00:30:34.606 --> 00:30:36.116
So I said, okay.

00:30:36.116 --> 00:30:41.386
And I went to the meeting and I said,
listen, this isn't about bureaucracy.

00:30:41.386 --> 00:30:43.986
It's not a, whatever it is,
this is about a child's life.

00:30:44.006 --> 00:30:53.276
And I got a call and it was from the
school and they said, you can have it.

00:30:54.596 --> 00:31:00.026
And so I knew that the Lord was with me,
but I have to tell you at that point, I,

00:31:00.076 --> 00:31:02.766
felt like I ran the belt Boston marathon.

00:31:03.256 --> 00:31:06.886
And everything I had just gave way.

00:31:06.886 --> 00:31:09.796
And I just remember feeling like I
just needed to fall on the ground,

00:31:09.806 --> 00:31:17.216
like it, just, and at shortly
thereafter, my body, got sick.

00:31:17.896 --> 00:31:22.936
And so this is the part of the story
where all this, all these years of

00:31:22.936 --> 00:31:28.926
trauma, all the years of abuse, all the
years of fighting took a toll on my body.

00:31:28.976 --> 00:31:30.956
And swells, the grief of losing my dad.

00:31:32.606 --> 00:31:40.056
In, September of, or August of that
year, I was diagnosed, I was told that

00:31:40.056 --> 00:31:46.196
I had, tendonitis in both my feet, and
I was not, so at the time I was doing

00:31:46.196 --> 00:31:51.226
a lot of, boot camps, and I was at the
gym, and I was spending a lot of time

00:31:51.266 --> 00:31:54.666
at the gym because it was an outlet.

00:31:55.296 --> 00:32:00.506
But it was also something I was good
at and I was doing training to be in

00:32:00.516 --> 00:32:03.906
these, obstacle courses and probably
shouldn't have been doing it at age

00:32:03.906 --> 00:32:07.426
of 50, but I was doing it and I was
keeping up with the younger kids and

00:32:07.426 --> 00:32:09.176
I actually felt good about myself.

00:32:09.706 --> 00:32:13.466
and so I was diagnosed
with the tendonitis.

00:32:14.521 --> 00:32:18.021
But then it got worse, where
I couldn't walk at all and the

00:32:18.021 --> 00:32:21.011
pain in my feet was unbearable.

00:32:21.711 --> 00:32:26.901
So I went to the doctors and
they couldn't figure it out.

00:32:27.281 --> 00:32:29.751
And this is what happened.

00:32:29.751 --> 00:32:34.881
I went to an internal doctor and she
looked, she looked at me and said to

00:32:34.881 --> 00:32:38.991
me and spoke this over me and this
power of what people say matters.

00:32:40.251 --> 00:32:42.701
You have an autoimmune disease.

00:32:43.566 --> 00:32:46.406
You had a good run, but it's over now.

00:32:47.696 --> 00:32:51.456
And, you could have lupus, you
could have this, you can have that.

00:32:51.466 --> 00:32:52.876
Sent me down a rabbit hole.

00:32:53.366 --> 00:32:59.791
and so for a year and a half,
my life was very difficult.

00:33:00.001 --> 00:33:00.981
It was very sick.

00:33:01.361 --> 00:33:04.081
My entire body was riddled in pain.

00:33:05.191 --> 00:33:11.021
I did have to an MRI on my feet and both
my feet had the same exact injuries.

00:33:11.481 --> 00:33:15.351
there was torn tendons, torn
ligaments, there was some

00:33:15.351 --> 00:33:17.641
deformities in the bones of my feet.

00:33:18.201 --> 00:33:19.721
I could, couldn't wear shoes.

00:33:19.731 --> 00:33:24.681
it, it was so hard for me to, it
went from this to not to nothing.

00:33:25.081 --> 00:33:31.251
I had also something going on in
my skin where my skin felt like

00:33:31.251 --> 00:33:34.261
it was on fire and it would burn.

00:33:34.791 --> 00:33:38.671
I can't tell you in painful, but if
you touch my skin, it was ice cold.

00:33:39.311 --> 00:33:40.441
my face would go numb.

00:33:40.441 --> 00:33:43.451
Like the right side of
my body would go numb.

00:33:43.671 --> 00:33:45.031
My feet would go numb.

00:33:45.041 --> 00:33:50.461
it was extremely difficult and I was
told, I rheumatologists and I was told,

00:33:50.861 --> 00:33:54.271
you're just going to have to live with
it, you'll get used to it kind of thing.

00:33:54.331 --> 00:33:55.911
And I said, I'm not
going to get used to it.

00:33:55.911 --> 00:33:58.101
I'm like this and my, and
I was in a lot of pain.

00:33:59.421 --> 00:34:05.411
So for during that year and a half,
I found myself back at church.

00:34:05.811 --> 00:34:11.171
So instead of going to the gym every
day, I went to church every day.

00:34:12.231 --> 00:34:13.411
And I.

00:34:15.126 --> 00:34:21.126
Again, was being told things
that were not what I believe now.

00:34:21.136 --> 00:34:26.146
So I was being told that God loves me
so much that he gave me the sickness.

00:34:26.256 --> 00:34:26.686
Lisa: Yeah.

00:34:26.956 --> 00:34:31.266
Jesse: that the suffering was a gift
and that I, to offer it up for other

00:34:31.266 --> 00:34:33.426
people, to share in the cross and.

00:34:33.861 --> 00:34:39.581
And I have to tell you that in that
time frame, when you're in so much pain

00:34:39.581 --> 00:34:43.481
and you don't really know what your
day, what life is going to give you,

00:34:43.481 --> 00:34:47.611
what it's going to look like, it almost
made me feel better to know that if,

00:34:47.611 --> 00:34:52.286
okay, if I'm suffering and I'm helping
someone else, And I'm okay with that.

00:34:52.286 --> 00:34:55.326
I can live with that
sort of, but I would cry.

00:34:55.336 --> 00:34:59.726
I was in, and I, my kids were
small and I still had to deal

00:34:59.776 --> 00:35:01.676
with my son was still in a place.

00:35:01.676 --> 00:35:03.446
My daughter was in special school.

00:35:03.936 --> 00:35:10.456
my, my mom needed me and it was just a,
it was a really difficult period of time.

00:35:11.266 --> 00:35:16.296
And this is where, I was
invited to go to a church that

00:35:16.296 --> 00:35:17.926
was having a special healing.

00:35:18.206 --> 00:35:20.486
It was called the School
of the Holy Spirit.

00:35:21.046 --> 00:35:24.556
And it was a charismatic conference.

00:35:25.126 --> 00:35:27.006
And I'd never gone to anything like that.

00:35:27.006 --> 00:35:28.646
I didn't even know that was a thing.

00:35:28.946 --> 00:35:31.666
I thought I was suffering for
the souls and all these other

00:35:31.666 --> 00:35:32.746
things that I was taught.

00:35:33.286 --> 00:35:37.176
so I went to this conference and
there was praise and worship.

00:35:37.796 --> 00:35:39.996
And I remember just,
everybody was dancing.

00:35:39.996 --> 00:35:45.406
So I must, I wanted to, part of the story
I left out was that I, as a kid, I was

00:35:45.406 --> 00:35:50.026
a dancer, dancing was always something
that made me feel better even today.

00:35:50.406 --> 00:35:54.686
and then I had always aspired
to be a dancer, professionally,

00:35:55.066 --> 00:35:56.406
but that didn't happen.

00:35:56.416 --> 00:36:00.706
But when I was hurt, there was, they told
me I'll never be able to dance again.

00:36:01.111 --> 00:36:02.891
We'll never be able to
do any of these things.

00:36:03.231 --> 00:36:08.681
So I saw everybody dancing and praising
the Lord and I was sitting there crying

00:36:08.731 --> 00:36:14.691
and they had some speakers come and
talk about healing and talk about Jesus

00:36:14.771 --> 00:36:19.651
and at the end of the third day, the
person running the conference said,

00:36:19.651 --> 00:36:25.071
if there's anybody here who's never
really invited Jesus I was listening

00:36:25.071 --> 00:36:28.461
to a lot of things that I teach now,
but I didn't have never heard before.

00:36:29.011 --> 00:36:33.541
if you, want to invite Jesus into
your heart, if come to the altar

00:36:33.891 --> 00:36:38.411
and I remember I ran to the altar
and I didn't even give a thought

00:36:38.411 --> 00:36:39.991
about my feet hurting or anything.

00:36:39.991 --> 00:36:43.991
I just made my way to that
altar and they prayed over me

00:36:43.991 --> 00:36:45.181
and I fell out in the spirit.

00:36:45.181 --> 00:36:46.561
I was out for a long time.

00:36:47.181 --> 00:36:53.371
And I woke up with a
hunger for the word of God.

00:36:54.091 --> 00:36:58.691
So from that moment, I just took, I
always have my Bible with me, but I

00:36:58.691 --> 00:37:02.391
was hungry to understand who Jesus was.

00:37:02.421 --> 00:37:04.621
Who is this new Jesus
that I'm hearing about?

00:37:04.981 --> 00:37:07.971
Who is this God that actually
loves me and didn't punish me?

00:37:07.971 --> 00:37:09.891
And this is not from the Lord.

00:37:10.231 --> 00:37:12.001
This is not something I have to keep.

00:37:12.061 --> 00:37:16.211
This is not, and so I'd like
to say I was instantly healed.

00:37:17.926 --> 00:37:21.386
But I wasn't, but I had a lot of fear.

00:37:21.616 --> 00:37:24.126
There was a lot of fear with this illness.

00:37:24.146 --> 00:37:28.966
And what I learned was there was a lot
of, forgiveness I had to go through.

00:37:29.186 --> 00:37:32.926
There was a lot of internal inner
healing prayer that I needed.

00:37:34.276 --> 00:37:39.626
But it was the first time that I felt
like Jesus loved me, who Jesus was.

00:37:40.216 --> 00:37:44.376
And I started to read the scripture and
understand more and more about how to

00:37:44.376 --> 00:37:49.626
pray the right way and how to pray for
people and how to pray for my family.

00:37:49.626 --> 00:37:52.416
And not, it doesn't have
to be these real prayers.

00:37:52.436 --> 00:37:54.586
And, at the same time.

00:37:55.671 --> 00:38:02.011
My son, Joshua, was still living away
from us and they were telling me that

00:38:02.011 --> 00:38:07.401
I would have to start to get used to
the idea that he may never come home

00:38:07.451 --> 00:38:12.351
and that he would have to live in a
group home or something to that effect.

00:38:12.956 --> 00:38:14.846
Lisa: So how old was he at this time?

00:38:15.291 --> 00:38:16.941
Jesse: 16, 16.

00:38:17.651 --> 00:38:21.071
And so I, had him come to the conference.

00:38:21.481 --> 00:38:24.201
I took him out of the school, I
had him come to the conference,

00:38:24.201 --> 00:38:25.121
the rest of the conference.

00:38:25.821 --> 00:38:32.871
And my son, at the last day, went to
the altar, got prayed over, received

00:38:32.881 --> 00:38:40.311
the Lord, went back to his school,
and in, by November of this, that

00:38:40.321 --> 00:38:42.531
year, he was back home living with us.

00:38:43.276 --> 00:38:43.606
Lisa: Whoa.

00:38:43.846 --> 00:38:48.516
Jesse: yeah, he attended, he was
able to go to a high school, a

00:38:48.696 --> 00:38:50.246
special high school, but it was.

00:38:51.596 --> 00:38:53.506
very much academic based.

00:38:53.666 --> 00:38:58.526
He was accepted into Newberry
College in Boston and happy to

00:38:58.526 --> 00:39:02.186
say he is, has zero medicine.

00:39:02.296 --> 00:39:04.456
he's medicine, he's very successful.

00:39:04.986 --> 00:39:07.851
and The Lord has done wonders in his life.

00:39:07.971 --> 00:39:14.411
that was that very same conference that I
went to where I began my healing journey.

00:39:14.491 --> 00:39:18.571
And as you can see now, I'm
completely 100 percent healed.

00:39:19.031 --> 00:39:21.161
my body has zero pain.

00:39:21.201 --> 00:39:22.961
My feet are completely healed.

00:39:23.121 --> 00:39:23.871
I dance.

00:39:23.901 --> 00:39:25.371
I walk six miles a day.

00:39:26.941 --> 00:39:29.661
I do whatever the Lord asked me to do.

00:39:29.751 --> 00:39:32.081
the same thing happened
for my daughter, Ava.

00:39:33.151 --> 00:39:37.361
She, so I ended up, wanting to
know more about how to pray for

00:39:37.361 --> 00:39:42.571
healing and how to, seek healing for
myself outside of this conference.

00:39:42.971 --> 00:39:47.111
So I was, I ended up in Jacksonville,
which is why I'm here, at

00:39:47.111 --> 00:39:48.641
Christian Healing Ministries.

00:39:49.211 --> 00:39:53.346
And I took their schools,
Levels 1, 2, 3, and 4.

00:39:53.856 --> 00:39:59.436
And then took part in their internship
and I am now an active prayer minister

00:39:59.486 --> 00:40:00.936
at Christian Healing Ministries.

00:40:00.956 --> 00:40:06.286
But I also have my own ministry,
in, as I said, in the Winter Healing

00:40:06.296 --> 00:40:09.776
Ministry where I go back and forth to
Boston, but I also do local things.

00:40:10.686 --> 00:40:18.166
But the Lord has taken me from this
place of brokenness and through,

00:40:18.436 --> 00:40:19.886
forgiveness and forgiveness.

00:40:19.886 --> 00:40:19.976
Amen.

00:40:20.306 --> 00:40:24.706
Forgiving the people in my life that have
hurt me and letting them go, surrendering.

00:40:25.266 --> 00:40:31.866
I have, I've been able to
understand who Jesus is and who

00:40:31.866 --> 00:40:34.226
God is and who the Holy Spirit is.

00:40:34.266 --> 00:40:40.036
And the Word of God is not to be feared
as far as God is not our punisher.

00:40:41.416 --> 00:40:43.516
He doesn't look at the black spots on us.

00:40:43.996 --> 00:40:45.496
He impacts us and see them.

00:40:46.216 --> 00:40:48.106
He sees us as his creation.

00:40:48.646 --> 00:40:53.941
and all those imperfections that, We
have, all those things that I lived

00:40:53.941 --> 00:40:58.861
through, the different, the different
trials, especially with my children

00:40:59.111 --> 00:41:03.131
and my marriages and, God has been
there through every single step of

00:41:03.131 --> 00:41:05.941
the way, and even in the hard times.

00:41:07.126 --> 00:41:10.556
When I look back, you can see, I can
see where he was in each one of those

00:41:10.576 --> 00:41:17.086
places and how I was able to influence
all the people around me with my faith

00:41:17.086 --> 00:41:19.936
and especially with my daughter Eva.

00:41:20.456 --> 00:41:22.506
As I, they knew me when I was sick.

00:41:22.716 --> 00:41:26.976
So she first started that, that school
in the, when I first got diagnosed.

00:41:26.986 --> 00:41:32.166
So they knew me as very sick and, by
the time she left that school, I was,

00:41:32.686 --> 00:41:36.456
on my way, I was healed when I was
well on my way to the, to this healing

00:41:36.466 --> 00:41:43.486
ministry, but they were able to see
firsthand miracles happen and even, I

00:41:43.496 --> 00:41:49.216
had shoulder surgery and I had a big
giant bruise and it was a big hematoma.

00:41:49.661 --> 00:41:55.071
And I was there the day that I had the
surgery because I had to pick my daughter

00:41:55.071 --> 00:42:01.071
up and they saw it and they told me there
was because of the surgery because I had

00:42:01.071 --> 00:42:07.211
such a big tumor taken out of my arm that
it was going to be like that for months

00:42:07.281 --> 00:42:09.221
before that hematoma would go down.

00:42:09.741 --> 00:42:10.911
So we prayed over it.

00:42:11.356 --> 00:42:14.266
And when I returned it,
it was completely healed.

00:42:14.906 --> 00:42:17.106
Two days later, it was completely healed.

00:42:17.106 --> 00:42:18.046
It was like completely healed.

00:42:18.046 --> 00:42:19.016
As you can see, there's nothing there.

00:42:19.356 --> 00:42:21.206
it was, they saw with their own eyes.

00:42:22.016 --> 00:42:27.326
But I was able to open up a place that
didn't really ever pray, it wasn't even

00:42:27.396 --> 00:42:29.036
a place where people wanted to pray.

00:42:29.096 --> 00:42:31.996
it was a school that probably
was different than that.

00:42:31.996 --> 00:42:36.546
But then people said, I remember as a
girl going to church and I remember this.

00:42:36.546 --> 00:42:40.186
And so people then were
open to the prayer.

00:42:40.646 --> 00:42:42.746
They said, you should
pray at these meetings.

00:42:42.746 --> 00:42:46.786
And, I just see that the Lord
has been working in my life.

00:42:47.486 --> 00:42:53.126
with this ministry, I was sick and I
went to the trials and everybody saw

00:42:53.126 --> 00:42:57.336
me go through them and then they saw
me get well and I got well through

00:42:57.336 --> 00:42:59.676
the process of inner healing for me.

00:43:00.136 --> 00:43:04.916
there were some physical healings,
but as I healed on the inside,

00:43:04.926 --> 00:43:06.626
my body healed on the outside.

00:43:06.676 --> 00:43:12.076
I was rid of the fear, the labels,
just the different things that, the

00:43:12.076 --> 00:43:14.386
enemy made me believe about myself.

00:43:14.926 --> 00:43:21.266
So I lived in shame, I lived in guilt,
I lived in, just blame, different

00:43:21.276 --> 00:43:26.196
things, regret, which are all the
topics that I talk about, and teach

00:43:26.196 --> 00:43:27.786
on because I lived through them.

00:43:31.736 --> 00:43:36.766
Lisa: So let me just ask you, you
not only got physically healed, but

00:43:36.766 --> 00:43:38.666
you got healed of a lot of the trauma

00:43:38.981 --> 00:43:39.251
Jesse: huh,

00:43:40.266 --> 00:43:44.776
Lisa: and the, the attacks of the
enemy, all the, there's condemnation

00:43:44.776 --> 00:43:47.046
and all that stuff that he throws at us.

00:43:47.551 --> 00:43:49.251
He's the accuser of the brethren.

00:43:49.251 --> 00:43:53.391
He accuses us night and day.

00:43:54.111 --> 00:43:54.481
Jesse: Really.

00:43:54.981 --> 00:43:59.546
Lisa: was this healing I know you,
you're, you said your physical

00:43:59.556 --> 00:44:01.456
healing wasn't instantaneous.

00:44:02.076 --> 00:44:06.076
What kind of work did you have to do
in order to start seeing the freedom

00:44:06.076 --> 00:44:11.076
from the the mental stuff, the
condemnation and the shame and all that?

00:44:11.711 --> 00:44:18.221
Jesse: So for me, and what I find to in
my healing ministry is that unforgiveness

00:44:18.721 --> 00:44:25.271
and bitterness are the biggest things that
hold us back and can cause us to be sick.

00:44:25.671 --> 00:44:29.421
So when we get sick, we think
of it, we have a disease.

00:44:29.911 --> 00:44:33.381
It's because we're diseased,
we're not at ease, we're diseased.

00:44:33.721 --> 00:44:37.741
It has a lot to do with how, that
bitterness and unforgiveness for me.

00:44:37.991 --> 00:44:42.941
And I didn't even understand, a lot of
it, that, I thought I forgave people

00:44:43.181 --> 00:44:45.261
or that things I needed to forgive.

00:44:45.601 --> 00:44:47.731
a lot of it had to do with my mom.

00:44:48.726 --> 00:44:57.516
and I, and thank God for, my understanding
of the prayer now, because my relationship

00:44:57.516 --> 00:45:03.066
with my mom in her latter years was
much better than it ever was, because

00:45:03.506 --> 00:45:05.486
I understood, I saw my mother as.

00:45:06.346 --> 00:45:09.056
Where she was coming from,
where she, where her heart

00:45:09.056 --> 00:45:10.536
was and where her pain was.

00:45:10.536 --> 00:45:14.866
And I could see her as the way the
Lord saw her, not how I used to

00:45:14.866 --> 00:45:17.176
view my mom in that critical eye.

00:45:17.636 --> 00:45:22.986
So I had to forgive my mom, for
lots of things that I didn't even

00:45:22.986 --> 00:45:25.116
realize I needed to forgive her for.

00:45:25.116 --> 00:45:26.606
But, even my dad.

00:45:26.976 --> 00:45:30.506
for letting me stay there in the
situation as much as I love my dad.

00:45:30.656 --> 00:45:34.836
He left us in the situation
knowing that my mom struggled and

00:45:35.176 --> 00:45:38.436
may or may not be able to care
for us in the way that we needed.

00:45:38.956 --> 00:45:43.836
and then from my ex husband and even,
in my own current marriage, like There's

00:45:43.836 --> 00:45:48.236
things that we hold on to, and I had to
let go of a lot of the stuff that I was

00:45:48.236 --> 00:45:54.666
hurt by, the rejections or the, betrayals
and the different things that, It's the

00:45:54.666 --> 00:46:00.066
inner healing piece for me, which is why,
I teach on inner healing and I pray for

00:46:00.066 --> 00:46:04.696
inner healing because I feel like it's
really the key to a lot of, what holds

00:46:04.696 --> 00:46:09.126
us back from living the destiny, the
life and the purpose that God has for us.

00:46:09.126 --> 00:46:14.506
And the enemy uses that mostly
to keep us from our destiny.

00:46:14.886 --> 00:46:19.016
so it's one of the very first talks I
ever did was on the power of the tongue.

00:46:19.936 --> 00:46:24.306
And it's not just what we speak, but
what's spoken over us can act as a curse

00:46:25.036 --> 00:46:25.426
Lisa: Right.

00:46:25.596 --> 00:46:26.216
Jesse: for our life.

00:46:26.246 --> 00:46:27.966
And then we live under that curse.

00:46:27.996 --> 00:46:30.646
And that's truly what happened to me.

00:46:31.081 --> 00:46:34.331
because as a girl graduating high
school, I want, I always wanted to be

00:46:34.331 --> 00:46:39.131
an accountant as silly as that sounds,
or I'm a car mechanic and they always

00:46:39.131 --> 00:46:40.801
told me I couldn't be a car mechanic.

00:46:40.801 --> 00:46:45.361
You're a girl, but I wanted to be a
CPA and that was what I wanted to do.

00:46:45.401 --> 00:46:49.791
And I got accepted to Bentley
and my dad said, no, you, I'm

00:46:49.931 --> 00:46:51.151
not going to send you there.

00:46:51.161 --> 00:46:53.981
I'm not going to spend the money
because you'll just get married and

00:46:54.751 --> 00:46:57.601
never use that degree kind of thing.

00:46:57.611 --> 00:46:58.941
And that was his mentality.

00:46:59.961 --> 00:47:04.411
And I, wanted to go and I didn't, but
it really did act as a curse and a

00:47:04.411 --> 00:47:09.711
trajectory to why I made the choices
I made, because in my mind it was

00:47:09.711 --> 00:47:11.161
like, Oh, I just have to get married.

00:47:12.271 --> 00:47:16.061
And I just had to get married because
that's what my father said, like whether

00:47:16.061 --> 00:47:18.581
he meant that or not, it's what happened.

00:47:18.601 --> 00:47:21.351
And so I'm just going to get
married and have kids anyway.

00:47:21.731 --> 00:47:22.951
So I need to do that.

00:47:22.951 --> 00:47:27.941
And so when that didn't work out with my
high school boyfriend and I just was like

00:47:27.941 --> 00:47:29.691
in this hurry, I need to get married.

00:47:29.711 --> 00:47:30.731
I need to have kids.

00:47:30.731 --> 00:47:34.771
I need to, whether it was a good or
bad or the ugly and it was all of that.

00:47:35.141 --> 00:47:41.821
it's very important what we believe about
ourselves and what our image of God is.

00:47:42.161 --> 00:47:47.631
So that's the other thing that I really
try to teach is God is a loving father.

00:47:47.761 --> 00:47:49.121
He's a protector.

00:47:49.411 --> 00:47:50.901
He's always there for us.

00:47:51.281 --> 00:47:52.511
He's always with us.

00:47:53.096 --> 00:47:57.796
he never leaves us or forseeks us and
it's, we leave him lots of the time,

00:47:57.806 --> 00:48:01.346
he never takes his eyes off of us,
but we tend to take our eyes off of

00:48:01.346 --> 00:48:05.546
him, especially when we're in sin and
when we're doing things that we know,

00:48:06.026 --> 00:48:08.126
Tend his to tobacco, I know I did.

00:48:08.126 --> 00:48:10.946
I'm not gonna speak for everyone,
but I just just I don't want him

00:48:10.946 --> 00:48:15.916
to look at me, so I'm just gonna
kinda pretend he can't see me.

00:48:16.196 --> 00:48:20.581
and then the enemy swoops right on
in with his lies and his deceit.

00:48:20.581 --> 00:48:26.831
So if there's people that need to forgive
someone, today's a good day to do it.

00:48:26.881 --> 00:48:29.931
just hand them over to
the Lord and release.

00:48:30.171 --> 00:48:32.841
The other piece is to release
people from our judgment.

00:48:33.616 --> 00:48:37.416
That's the other side of forgiveness,
so it's not just forgiving people,

00:48:37.846 --> 00:48:39.646
it's releasing them from judgment.

00:48:39.646 --> 00:48:41.916
So there's three pieces
that I had to learn.

00:48:42.476 --> 00:48:46.656
I had to forgive, I had to
release them from my judgment,

00:48:46.656 --> 00:48:48.446
but then I also had to bless them.

00:48:48.996 --> 00:48:53.006
And that was the hardest part for me
because people would give me these

00:48:53.036 --> 00:48:56.546
prayers to pray blessings over the
people that hurt me and I didn't want to.

00:48:57.226 --> 00:48:58.936
And for a long time I wouldn't.

00:48:59.711 --> 00:49:02.971
I said, no, why would I want them to
have all these good things that, why

00:49:02.971 --> 00:49:05.441
would I want them to be prosperous?

00:49:05.471 --> 00:49:06.881
Why would I want them to have favor?

00:49:06.891 --> 00:49:09.681
Why would I want their life to be
good after what they did to me?

00:49:10.216 --> 00:49:15.986
And then I realize now I gladly say those
prayers because it only benefits us.

00:49:16.006 --> 00:49:18.766
It only benefits me and only
benefits those that know them.

00:49:18.816 --> 00:49:22.626
that's when you truly know that
you're able to forgive and it's gone.

00:49:22.956 --> 00:49:26.366
It's when that, when you don't, when
you think about the situation and it

00:49:26.376 --> 00:49:30.416
doesn't make you crazy anymore, it
doesn't bring that fear and anxiety.

00:49:30.416 --> 00:49:31.666
You just feel peace in it.

00:49:32.196 --> 00:49:35.086
Then you know the Lord has done the
work that needs to be done in your

00:49:35.086 --> 00:49:36.886
heart because it's all about the heart.

00:49:37.646 --> 00:49:38.026
Lisa: Yeah.

00:49:38.516 --> 00:49:39.656
Jesse: That's what we hold there.

00:49:40.196 --> 00:49:45.686
Lisa: Yeah, I was just talking to somebody
yesterday about how the resentments are

00:49:46.546 --> 00:49:52.996
really holding them back and that, and,
unforgiveness is such a powerful thing.

00:49:53.036 --> 00:49:57.586
There's a really good reason
why Jesus put it in the Lord's

00:49:57.586 --> 00:49:59.406
Prayer, And so we have to forgive.

00:50:00.136 --> 00:50:05.286
Others, the way that God has forgiven
us, but the only way that I've

00:50:05.286 --> 00:50:11.116
found that I can do that really
is to remember who I am in Christ.

00:50:11.116 --> 00:50:16.086
It all has to do with my
identity and how I see myself.

00:50:16.596 --> 00:50:20.016
So what you said about forgiving,
and forgiving yourself and letting

00:50:20.016 --> 00:50:22.746
go of the past, that's so important.

00:50:23.261 --> 00:50:23.551
Jesse: Yeah.

00:50:24.786 --> 00:50:25.546
And it's hard.

00:50:25.606 --> 00:50:26.286
it's hard.

00:50:26.836 --> 00:50:31.356
And it's hard when you, I guess this
biggest hurdle to that is when you

00:50:31.356 --> 00:50:37.156
start to begin to heal and you begin to
work on yourself, it doesn't mean those

00:50:37.156 --> 00:50:39.136
other people are going to do that too.

00:50:40.041 --> 00:50:40.481
Lisa: Right.

00:50:40.596 --> 00:50:43.256
Jesse: if they're still in your
life or they're still around

00:50:43.256 --> 00:50:45.706
you, you have to find a way to.

00:50:46.131 --> 00:50:48.681
to have peace and not
let them take the peace.

00:50:48.681 --> 00:50:50.051
And that's the struggle.

00:50:50.511 --> 00:50:53.571
And that's where we lean
on the word of God always.

00:50:53.961 --> 00:50:57.261
And, when I was walking and praying
this morning about talking with

00:50:57.261 --> 00:51:02.551
you today, the Lord reminded me
of, there's this Japanese art.

00:51:04.121 --> 00:51:05.841
They take all the broken pieces.

00:51:05.841 --> 00:51:10.511
So if there's a vase that breaks, they,
that it, they put it back together, but

00:51:10.511 --> 00:51:13.301
they put it back together with gold.

00:51:13.576 --> 00:51:17.236
or silver or platinum, but you
can see where it was broken.

00:51:18.166 --> 00:51:22.816
And the whole theory behind that is
that it's a beautiful, beautifully

00:51:22.826 --> 00:51:25.636
imperfect, but it doesn't hide our flaws.

00:51:25.636 --> 00:51:27.486
It enhances the beauty of it.

00:51:28.286 --> 00:51:31.076
And so we have to know
that's who we are in God.

00:51:31.116 --> 00:51:33.646
Like he'll take us and
he'll put us back together.

00:51:34.276 --> 00:51:38.066
And it says in the scripture, he
refines us with the gold and the silver.

00:51:38.066 --> 00:51:39.446
he does that with us.

00:51:39.966 --> 00:51:42.086
And it's so that we know who he is.

00:51:43.301 --> 00:51:44.561
And who we are in him.

00:51:45.361 --> 00:51:48.991
And we're that beautiful base
that's been put back together.

00:51:49.981 --> 00:51:54.871
Lisa: I love that image, Psalm 147, 3
came to mind, where it says, He heals

00:51:54.871 --> 00:52:00.021
the brokenhearted and binds up their
wounds, and it's that binding, that gold

00:52:00.031 --> 00:52:05.376
streak that, in all the broken places,
that was what makes, Him shine through,

00:52:05.506 --> 00:52:06.136
Jesse: That's right.

00:52:06.416 --> 00:52:07.026
That's right.

00:52:07.366 --> 00:52:07.906
That's right.

00:52:08.181 --> 00:52:09.071
Lisa: that's beautiful.

00:52:09.406 --> 00:52:09.806
Jesse: Yeah.

00:52:12.071 --> 00:52:15.591
Lisa: we might run out of time in a little
while, but I wanted to ask you, what

00:52:15.591 --> 00:52:18.501
does a typical day look like for you?

00:52:18.501 --> 00:52:20.111
how do you start your day?

00:52:20.161 --> 00:52:22.751
what kind of spiritual
practices do you have?

00:52:23.116 --> 00:52:25.076
Jesse: my day starts, I get up early.

00:52:26.026 --> 00:52:28.756
I spend time, in the word and pray.

00:52:29.521 --> 00:52:34.161
I'm a constantly in prayer,
though, like my day is there's God.

00:52:34.211 --> 00:52:36.171
I'm always in conversation with God.

00:52:36.781 --> 00:52:40.531
And so as I teach prayer is
just a conversation with God.

00:52:41.211 --> 00:52:44.091
So coming from that Catholic background.

00:52:44.871 --> 00:52:48.251
The hardest part for me or I remember
saying like the hardest part to pray

00:52:48.251 --> 00:52:50.081
with people is I don't know how to pray.

00:52:50.621 --> 00:52:54.391
I only know these cards and these
prayers on the, the road prayers.

00:52:54.391 --> 00:52:56.301
I don't understand how to pray scripture.

00:52:56.301 --> 00:52:57.281
I didn't understand that.

00:52:57.811 --> 00:53:00.821
Now I know that prayer is
just a conversation with God.

00:53:01.221 --> 00:53:02.871
And that's what I tell everyone.

00:53:03.101 --> 00:53:06.761
You just start talking to God and
sometimes it's just being quiet.

00:53:07.531 --> 00:53:10.521
but my day always starts in
that quiet reflection time.

00:53:10.521 --> 00:53:12.661
And then I go for a walk every morning.

00:53:13.336 --> 00:53:17.176
And I do some more talking with
God, or just reflections, or just

00:53:17.226 --> 00:53:20.426
try to figure out what my next talk
is going to be about, what does

00:53:20.426 --> 00:53:24.326
the Lord want me to share with the
world, what is it he wants me to do.

00:53:24.866 --> 00:53:25.786
I still live.

00:53:26.541 --> 00:53:31.961
I have four kids at home still, Josh was
still here and Ava and I have two kids, my

00:53:31.961 --> 00:53:33.791
daughter and son are still in high school.

00:53:33.791 --> 00:53:40.021
So the busyness of being a mom, living
here in Florida has been a challenge

00:53:40.051 --> 00:53:42.311
because we don't really know anybody.

00:53:42.361 --> 00:53:44.311
Our family's back in Massachusetts.

00:53:44.311 --> 00:53:49.741
So there's been a lot of, Pressure on me
to just be everything for everyone here.

00:53:50.131 --> 00:53:54.641
So that's a lot of my days just trying
to make every sure everybody is okay.

00:53:55.111 --> 00:54:01.551
I have prayer appointments some days I
still do, help with the schools, I do.

00:54:01.681 --> 00:54:03.871
I minister to the prayer ministry.

00:54:04.411 --> 00:54:06.541
so every day is a little bit different.

00:54:06.561 --> 00:54:08.801
I do a food ministry on Wednesdays.

00:54:08.811 --> 00:54:14.461
So I, like every day is about trying to
serve the Lord the best way that I can.

00:54:15.191 --> 00:54:18.361
and then come up with where
the Lord is going to take me.

00:54:18.361 --> 00:54:22.861
What he wants me to do, with this
ministry, what my next topics will be.

00:54:24.986 --> 00:54:30.636
Just, and just every day the Lord
will send someone new to me or some,

00:54:30.676 --> 00:54:36.186
something new for me, a challenge
of, my past, just as we were just

00:54:36.196 --> 00:54:40.556
talking, somebody just reached out
about the school that my daughter went

00:54:40.556 --> 00:54:42.676
to and some challenges she had there.

00:54:43.086 --> 00:54:47.466
Somebody needs my help that is
facing the same challenges today.

00:54:47.816 --> 00:54:52.096
So again, the Lord is always on the
move and he's always, doing things to,

00:54:52.146 --> 00:54:56.246
to, to show me where he was in that and
where he'll be for that person as well.

00:54:58.266 --> 00:55:03.506
Lisa: Yeah, it sounds to me like you're
just totally devoted to hearing his

00:55:03.506 --> 00:55:08.656
voice and following him wherever he leads
and you're making yourself available

00:55:08.656 --> 00:55:12.296
to whatever he wants, That's awesome.

00:55:14.616 --> 00:55:18.336
if there was one bit of advice that
you could give to somebody out there

00:55:18.336 --> 00:55:22.526
in the future, this happens to come
to this podcast, what would Lisa

00:55:22.526 --> 00:55:28.106
Palmieri pass, want to pass along
to somebody that may be struggling?

00:55:29.061 --> 00:55:31.991
Jesse: I think that the biggest
thing I would want someone to

00:55:31.991 --> 00:55:33.511
know is that they are loved.

00:55:34.886 --> 00:55:38.406
That they are cherished by God,
that they are not forgotten,

00:55:39.166 --> 00:55:44.266
that they are not invisible, that
God sees them and he knows them.

00:55:44.386 --> 00:55:48.486
And no matter what it is that they're
going through, that he is always

00:55:48.506 --> 00:55:52.426
going to be there with them, that he's
for them and he's not against them.

00:55:53.376 --> 00:55:59.116
And I guess what I've learned is
to just to let go and let God.

00:55:59.771 --> 00:56:00.911
and to surrender.

00:56:01.431 --> 00:56:05.151
it's so hard not to try to do things
in our own strength, but to, to

00:56:05.511 --> 00:56:07.601
peen on the strength of the Lord.

00:56:07.891 --> 00:56:11.781
And I guess my favorite scripture
is that I can do all things

00:56:11.781 --> 00:56:13.411
through Christ who strengthens me.

00:56:13.661 --> 00:56:15.191
I have it on the wall behind me.

00:56:15.621 --> 00:56:19.351
to, as a reminder that, like I
said in the beginning, I cannot

00:56:19.501 --> 00:56:21.491
do anything in my own strength.

00:56:22.551 --> 00:56:26.551
I can, but I'll mess up if I
try, but I can do everything.

00:56:26.921 --> 00:56:27.881
With the Lord.

00:56:28.131 --> 00:56:33.541
And so I think if you can just remember,
and if you find yourself in a place.

00:56:34.676 --> 00:56:38.916
Of trauma or abuse that you
do not have to stay in it.

00:56:39.676 --> 00:56:43.266
You can go to those someone
you trust and tell them what's

00:56:43.266 --> 00:56:45.466
going on, but to seek help.

00:56:45.726 --> 00:56:48.306
I was given some bad advice early on.

00:56:48.746 --> 00:56:49.976
but that wasn't right.

00:56:50.186 --> 00:56:54.641
You don't have to stay
and you can find help.

00:56:55.001 --> 00:57:00.691
And so that for me, it's let go and
let God surrender everything to him and

00:57:00.691 --> 00:57:03.291
trust that he has the best plans for you.

00:57:03.531 --> 00:57:08.761
Even if they, even if your circumstances
don't line up to what you think they

00:57:08.761 --> 00:57:13.001
are, just stay to the word of God that
says that he wants to prosper us and

00:57:13.001 --> 00:57:15.171
he has a future full of hope for us.

00:57:15.771 --> 00:57:17.941
And then we have to just
hold on to that word.

00:57:18.431 --> 00:57:19.331
because it's truth.

00:57:20.166 --> 00:57:20.536
Lisa: Yeah.

00:57:23.066 --> 00:57:23.436
Wow.

00:57:23.536 --> 00:57:24.046
That's great.

00:57:25.541 --> 00:57:30.401
I wanted to go back and ask you, about
that healing service that you went

00:57:30.461 --> 00:57:34.651
to, you had the praise and worship and
the dancing and then the Holy Spirit.

00:57:36.651 --> 00:57:38.701
You fell out under the
power of the Holy Spirit.

00:57:39.111 --> 00:57:42.771
Do you think that was a baptism
in the Holy Spirit or that was

00:57:42.791 --> 00:57:43.391
Jesse: Oh, yeah.

00:57:43.431 --> 00:57:46.131
I'm pretty sure that it was a baptism.

00:57:46.131 --> 00:57:48.051
that's what it was a
school of the Holy Spirit.

00:57:48.051 --> 00:57:53.571
So basically, we're baptized in the
Holy Spirit now as Catholics, I received

00:57:53.571 --> 00:57:57.931
confirmation that is truly the baptism
of the Holy Spirit is not taught.

00:57:58.446 --> 00:58:01.446
That way, and I didn't even
know that's what I received.

00:58:01.786 --> 00:58:06.116
it was just more of, understanding
the power that I had through the

00:58:06.116 --> 00:58:10.266
Holy Spirit, understanding the gifts
and the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

00:58:10.636 --> 00:58:12.486
I never was taught any of that.

00:58:12.961 --> 00:58:17.831
So this, it was an all new
experience for me, and I did, for

00:58:17.831 --> 00:58:20.001
many years, go back to that school.

00:58:20.241 --> 00:58:25.061
They still are close to my heart and, I'm
very close to the people that, and they

00:58:25.061 --> 00:58:28.321
still do that school every summer in July.

00:58:28.331 --> 00:58:33.561
It's a week long school, in Massachusetts,
and I've seen lives transformed

00:58:33.561 --> 00:58:35.391
and changed over and over again.

00:58:35.811 --> 00:58:36.281
And.

00:58:37.641 --> 00:58:38.301
I love them.

00:58:38.301 --> 00:58:44.711
and so they, they were instrumental in me
and my healing and just, praying over me.

00:58:44.711 --> 00:58:47.581
They spoke words, prophesied over me.

00:58:48.646 --> 00:58:50.446
prophesied about the ministry.

00:58:50.446 --> 00:58:53.946
And at the time I couldn't
even fathomed that what the

00:58:53.956 --> 00:58:55.386
Lord was going to do with me.

00:58:55.386 --> 00:59:00.606
And I still don't know what he actually
has in store, but, even just me,

00:59:00.756 --> 00:59:05.171
having that YouTube channel and me
getting up there on the, And speaking

00:59:05.171 --> 00:59:08.171
was not something I was always the
person in the back of the room.

00:59:08.171 --> 00:59:12.521
I was not the person that wanted to
be up front in any way, shape or form.

00:59:12.521 --> 00:59:19.251
So the Lord can do immeasurable things
with us as long as we trust him.

00:59:20.391 --> 00:59:24.521
Lisa: tell us about your YouTube channel,
so in case people are interested in

00:59:24.521 --> 00:59:26.651
hearing more of what you have to say.

00:59:27.231 --> 00:59:31.021
Jesse: all of the nights of
healing prayer that I have, I have

00:59:31.071 --> 00:59:33.081
run are on my YouTube channel.

00:59:33.081 --> 00:59:38.721
It's Lisa Palmieri workshops and there's I
think there's probably 23 or 24 different

00:59:38.731 --> 00:59:45.671
videos now and each one is a teaching, but
there is prayer incorporated in each one.

00:59:45.671 --> 00:59:47.116
So as you listen, you'll hear.

00:59:47.296 --> 00:59:51.366
You will be able to pray through
certain subject matters or, I have had

00:59:51.366 --> 00:59:55.466
people testimonies of people who have
listened to them because as we know,

00:59:55.466 --> 00:59:57.916
there's no time and space for the Lord.

00:59:57.926 --> 01:00:01.936
And so people have listened and
have received, breakthroughs.

01:00:02.701 --> 01:00:09.541
They've, received healings, just physical,
emotional, spiritual, and the Lord

01:00:09.541 --> 01:00:12.601
continues to use them in powerful ways.

01:00:12.601 --> 01:00:15.771
And so that it's, there's
just different topics.

01:00:15.771 --> 01:00:16.731
There's the power of the time.

01:00:16.731 --> 01:00:18.201
There's one and forgiveness.

01:00:18.501 --> 01:00:20.481
There's a mother and father's blessing.

01:00:20.691 --> 01:00:22.161
There's gifts of the spirit.

01:00:22.521 --> 01:00:23.601
There's all different ones.

01:00:23.601 --> 01:00:24.711
There's all different kinds.

01:00:24.711 --> 01:00:26.331
So the Holy Spirit will lead you?

01:00:26.451 --> 01:00:26.841
Yeah.

01:00:26.996 --> 01:00:27.216
Oh,

01:00:27.711 --> 01:00:28.151
Lisa: okay.

01:00:28.161 --> 01:00:31.221
I'm gonna, I've never done it
before, but I'm gonna try to put a

01:00:31.231 --> 01:00:37.531
link to your YouTube channel in the
note, in the show notes for this

01:00:37.666 --> 01:00:37.667
Jesse: okay.

01:00:39.271 --> 01:00:42.861
Lisa: I'm sure if I can't figure it out,
I'll find somebody that can help me.

01:00:43.551 --> 01:00:44.581
Because it's awesome.

01:00:44.581 --> 01:00:47.731
I want other people to be
able to, experience that.

01:00:48.441 --> 01:00:48.741
Jesse: Yeah.

01:00:48.741 --> 01:00:52.431
And each one has a little
tidbit of the story.

01:00:52.461 --> 01:00:54.861
My testimony is in each story.

01:00:54.911 --> 01:00:57.941
there's something personal
that I, put out there.

01:00:57.941 --> 01:01:01.581
Something I'm struggling with because
life isn't perfect and we're all

01:01:01.581 --> 01:01:05.021
going to go through struggles and
it's how we deal with those struggles.

01:01:05.061 --> 01:01:07.991
And so there's hope in each one of them.

01:01:08.661 --> 01:01:09.051
Yeah,

01:01:09.161 --> 01:01:09.471
Lisa: Yeah.

01:01:09.511 --> 01:01:12.321
That's, that's how God
works through our struggles,

01:01:12.441 --> 01:01:13.101
Jesse: that's true.

01:01:13.566 --> 01:01:14.266
That's true.

01:01:15.031 --> 01:01:18.001
Lisa: One more question and
then we'll wrap things up.

01:01:18.651 --> 01:01:23.051
You said that after you had this
experience of falling out, and

01:01:23.221 --> 01:01:28.221
the Holy Spirit healing you, that
you developed, you immediately

01:01:28.231 --> 01:01:30.171
had a hunger for the Word of God.

01:01:31.211 --> 01:01:33.591
did you want to make
any comments about that?

01:01:33.616 --> 01:01:36.696
Jesse: Yeah, I just took the,
I started to read the Bible.

01:01:36.856 --> 01:01:38.046
I went out and I got a Bible.

01:01:38.046 --> 01:01:41.506
I started to read it and really read it.

01:01:42.046 --> 01:01:47.526
And, but if you, for me, I take
everything that I read through

01:01:47.526 --> 01:01:49.256
the lens of an inner healer.

01:01:50.146 --> 01:01:56.146
So I see in each scripture, the Lord
highlights to me where there's healing

01:01:56.146 --> 01:01:57.416
in each one of those scriptures.

01:01:57.416 --> 01:02:00.576
And there's a story to
bring healing to others.

01:02:00.576 --> 01:02:03.916
And that's what I use in my talks is
scripture all the time, but I bring

01:02:03.916 --> 01:02:08.946
it to life in a way that through the
lens of an inner healer, where the Lord

01:02:08.956 --> 01:02:13.406
was and what he was doing and how he
was healing people through his word.

01:02:13.806 --> 01:02:16.796
And so for me, it was
just to understand Jesus.

01:02:17.261 --> 01:02:21.691
To understand God and the Holy Spirit
in a way that I wasn't taught, through

01:02:21.721 --> 01:02:23.971
catechism or through anything like that.

01:02:24.031 --> 01:02:25.551
it's God speaks to me.

01:02:25.981 --> 01:02:29.921
And I still have that hunger, like
I love to read the Word of God.

01:02:30.171 --> 01:02:33.551
I love highlighting, my Bible
looks like it, I mean if you

01:02:33.551 --> 01:02:34.541
see it, it's all written there.

01:02:34.671 --> 01:02:36.561
And it's got notes, it's got highlights.

01:02:37.171 --> 01:02:39.631
it's, I said, this
tells a story in itself.

01:02:39.741 --> 01:02:41.901
Someday somebody's going to pick
up my Bible and they're going

01:02:41.901 --> 01:02:42.981
to read a whole lot of stuff.

01:02:45.481 --> 01:02:46.341
Lisa: that's awesome.

01:02:47.491 --> 01:02:50.681
is there anything else that
you feel like you need to add?

01:02:52.121 --> 01:02:56.741
Jesse: just to never give up hope,
never, think you're alone because

01:02:56.741 --> 01:02:59.816
I think that's the biggest piece
when the enemy can isolate us.

01:03:00.376 --> 01:03:03.956
that's when he does the damage, when
he tries, always stay in fellowship,

01:03:03.966 --> 01:03:09.326
always confide in another believer,
surround yourself with people like

01:03:09.326 --> 01:03:11.776
minded, it really does matter.

01:03:13.476 --> 01:03:17.926
just never lose hope that no
matter what you're facing, God has

01:03:17.926 --> 01:03:19.896
the answer and it's in his word.

01:03:20.176 --> 01:03:23.896
And when you find it in his word,
you declare it to be and it will be.

01:03:25.091 --> 01:03:25.691
Lisa: Yes.

01:03:25.691 --> 01:03:27.351
Oh, that's awesome.

01:03:27.681 --> 01:03:28.241
Thank you.

01:03:28.566 --> 01:03:29.116
Jesse: You're welcome.

01:03:29.116 --> 01:03:29.241
Sure.

01:03:29.241 --> 01:03:29.366
Sure.

01:03:30.051 --> 01:03:32.111
Lisa: would you pray for our listeners?

01:03:32.161 --> 01:03:33.011
Jesse: Thank you, Father.

01:03:33.731 --> 01:03:35.671
Thank you for this time, Lord.

01:03:35.671 --> 01:03:41.311
And as your word says that we overcome
the enemy by the blood of the lamb,

01:03:41.721 --> 01:03:47.501
by the power of our testimony, the
word of our testimony, it brings life.

01:03:47.891 --> 01:03:51.891
Father, that I just ask that you
breathe your life over each and

01:03:51.891 --> 01:03:56.481
every person listening to this,
Lord, that you bring healing.

01:03:57.776 --> 01:03:59.246
That you bring refreshment.

01:03:59.246 --> 01:04:04.296
Father God, whomever may be listening
to this in whatever period of time in

01:04:04.296 --> 01:04:09.826
their life, father, that they know that
you are there with them, that right now

01:04:09.856 --> 01:04:14.566
in this very moment, that they feel your
presence, that you just enveloped them in

01:04:14.566 --> 01:04:17.776
a blanket of your love, your protection.

01:04:18.846 --> 01:04:22.201
When I ask you to protect Jesse
and I thank you Lord for everything

01:04:22.206 --> 01:04:25.171
that he's doing with this broadcast.

01:04:25.171 --> 01:04:29.331
Lord, I thank you that
he brings life and love.

01:04:30.266 --> 01:04:34.606
In the word to others, Lord God, so I ask
that you protect him and his family and

01:04:34.606 --> 01:04:42.086
this ministry surround him, your heavenly
host of angels, Lord, bring healing, bring

01:04:42.096 --> 01:04:44.826
light, bring peace into his life, Father.

01:04:44.826 --> 01:04:48.156
And I thank you for each
person that will hear this.

01:04:49.106 --> 01:04:51.286
I thank you for their life
and I thank you for what you

01:04:51.536 --> 01:04:52.536
are going to do in their life.

01:04:52.566 --> 01:04:57.956
Lord, I thank you for forgiveness that
on the cross, Jesus said, forgive them

01:04:57.966 --> 01:04:59.526
for they know not what they're doing.

01:04:59.526 --> 01:05:01.646
Lord, I thank you that you.

01:05:02.176 --> 01:05:04.486
That we are righteous and we are redeemed.

01:05:04.816 --> 01:05:07.286
I thank you for the love
that you give us, Lord.

01:05:08.456 --> 01:05:12.786
So Father, I ask that you just pour out
your Holy Spirit, that you just fill us

01:05:12.786 --> 01:05:18.366
up to overflowing from the top of our
heads to the soles of our feet, that

01:05:18.366 --> 01:05:21.976
any place in our bodies, our minds,
our souls, and our spirit that needs

01:05:21.986 --> 01:05:25.526
healing, you just bring healing, Father.

01:05:26.576 --> 01:05:31.806
We thank you, Father, for the testimonies
that will come out of this podcast, Lord.

01:05:31.816 --> 01:05:34.586
The testimonies of your
goodness and your healing.

01:05:35.046 --> 01:05:35.856
And your love.

01:05:37.076 --> 01:05:39.606
Father, I thank you for the
hedge of protection you place

01:05:39.606 --> 01:05:42.276
around us as we go about our day.

01:05:42.516 --> 01:05:45.676
We thank you that you
protect us and our families.

01:05:46.406 --> 01:05:49.696
Protect us from all sickness,
harm, accidents, Lord.

01:05:50.746 --> 01:05:53.956
And keep our feet on the firm
path that you set forth before

01:05:53.956 --> 01:05:58.336
us, Lord, that you are a lamp to
our feet and a light to our path.

01:05:59.366 --> 01:06:03.296
And I pray all this in Jesus
holy name, that he be glorified.

01:06:04.040 --> 01:06:04.420
Amen.

01:06:05.100 --> 01:06:05.760
Amen.

01:06:09.380 --> 01:06:11.580
Speaker 3: We hope you've
been blessed by today's story.

01:06:12.050 --> 01:06:15.770
In case you haven't noticed, there
are no advertisements on this podcast,

01:06:16.130 --> 01:06:17.670
and we hope to keep it that way.

01:06:18.320 --> 01:06:22.460
So if you've heard something that you
think could help someone you know, please

01:06:22.460 --> 01:06:24.600
share it using the link in the show notes.

01:06:25.430 --> 01:06:29.780
Also, if you will give Faith and Purpose a
positive review on your podcast platform,

01:06:30.230 --> 01:06:31.870
you could help more people find it.

01:06:32.480 --> 01:06:36.545
You will probably never know how
that small effort can make a big

01:06:36.545 --> 01:06:40.095
difference in someone's life,
but our Heavenly Father knows.

01:06:40.595 --> 01:06:45.395
Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus
follower with a story to tell, please send

01:06:45.395 --> 01:06:47.325
them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast.

01:06:48.295 --> 01:06:50.455
It may encourage them to tell their story.

01:06:50.855 --> 01:06:52.455
That person may even be you.

01:06:52.925 --> 01:06:56.055
Our only criteria is
that Jesus be glorified.

01:06:56.825 --> 01:07:00.335
Most Christians don't share their
faith because they mistakenly think

01:07:00.345 --> 01:07:04.715
their story is not interesting enough,
or that it's self centered to talk

01:07:04.725 --> 01:07:09.765
about themselves, or that they are not
competent to explain the gospel correctly.

01:07:10.205 --> 01:07:11.465
But none of that is relevant.

01:07:11.855 --> 01:07:15.295
If Jesus has changed your
life, you have a story to tell.

01:07:16.240 --> 01:07:18.650
All of our stories are completely unique.

01:07:18.950 --> 01:07:23.720
No one has a story like yours, and you
may be the only one who can reach someone

01:07:23.720 --> 01:07:25.500
else through telling your experience.

01:07:26.070 --> 01:07:27.440
So don't be intimidated.

01:07:27.770 --> 01:07:33.190
A story is just that, a true account
of your own experience, and no one

01:07:33.200 --> 01:07:35.140
can disagree with your experience.

01:07:36.095 --> 01:07:40.275
When we tell what Jesus has done in
our lives, we are being obedient to his

01:07:40.275 --> 01:07:44.495
command to go into all the world and
preach the gospel to every creature.

01:07:44.895 --> 01:07:48.745
It's not about theology, and it's not
about how interesting or special you are.

01:07:49.085 --> 01:07:50.745
It's all about Jesus.

01:07:51.525 --> 01:07:56.235
So when you're ready to tell how Jesus
has impacted your life, you can let Jesse

01:07:56.235 --> 01:07:59.355
know at his ministry website, jesseduke.

01:07:59.375 --> 01:07:59.635
net.

01:08:00.265 --> 01:08:03.445
There you can download guidelines
that will make it easy to

01:08:03.445 --> 01:08:04.905
prepare to tell your story.

01:08:05.525 --> 01:08:07.965
Thank you for listening today and Shalom.