The podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing. I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
One of us.
Hello and welcome to the Podcast on Haunted Hill, episode 183. Not episode... No, not podcast on 183, which is what I tried to do originally. I don't know why...
I do the intros, to be honest with you, because there's only ever issues with me. Why don't you do it? Otherwise, we'd be cutting out this at least 20 seconds of flaff conversation, which is insulting your oral cavities as we speak.
Daniel, my name's Gav. Wow, my name's Dan. Welcome. Yes, well if you didn't do that Gav then I think there's probably a small percentage of our listeners that only really tune in for the first two minutes just to hear you do that.
And that's it, really. Get the little fix and that's it. Fair enough. Yeah. This is episode 183, like Gav just said. And this is a slightly delayed episode. Apologies. We've been very busy.
um and you'll probably be listening to this at the earliest you'll be listening to this is September unless you're very far in the future
which you might be if you've got a time machine or you just listen to this back. So this is our summer blockbuster special. Or this is the episode you decide to choose to...
Get me and Dan's voice of all the hours we put in today's episode and replicate us and, you know, manipulate our voices.
make terrible things happen like murders go on and say look these guys mentioned it they talked about it to each other on the phone we didn't we didn't we're two minutes in and he's brought up ai and next on the bingo card will be
Simulation at some point in this episode. Life is a simulation. So yes, we're excited to...
talk about some slightly horror adjacent films for this episode. We'll be covering two films from Roland Emmerich, the king of explosions and summer blockbusters and blowing things up and blowing up...
big American buildings quite regularly in his films as well. We'll be talking about Independence Day. A king of spectacular eruptions. That's you, Gav.
We'll be talking about Independence Day from 1996. We're talking The Fresh Prince versus Aliens. And then we'll be covering... That was the name after Independence Day, Fresh Prince versus the Aliens. Imagine that.
Independence Day, I was born and raised. I've got to say, straight up, I'm not even going to mention Will Smith again, apart from talking about his character's role in the film. It's 90s Will Smith. I'm down with 90s Will Smith. I'm into the guy. He's fine. I'm happy.
the 80s to 90s, I'm down with that.
and then that's it we don't need to speak anymore he had a streak he had a streak in the 90s you know we could just not bother and then we just talk about him as an actor just bad boys independence day men in black he was knocking them out the park yeah and then he started knocking chris rock out so yeah i just can't be bothered to speak
about him anymore he gets you know whatever so that's that end of no more and we'll be pairing it up with another roland emmerich film so in a way this is a double bill roland emmerich films uh and that is it's a director special
And that is 1998's remake of the Japanese classics, because there's a lot of them. And most people don't like this film, but actually...
It's got a bit of a cult following over the years. Gav and I have a real soft spot for it, as a lot of you guys probably do. I'm a big fan of this one. It's just really weird. I don't know why. I kind of really like it. Very strangely, though. Hang on. Let me see. Sorry.
Godzilla from 1998. Now carry on. I'm getting so excited about that. Yeah.
it's it's you know it's the first sort of before we obviously we're not getting to now but it's for the first talk of american godzilla after like many uh japanese godzilla um so it's funny that
that was the first one and everyone's just like no we don't like it go back watch it now it's like it's pretty decent effects it's okay yeah you you can just go if you really if you want to be die hard and watch something with pure passion it's like watch that new gods in the minus one or whatever
absolutely this is a totally different film this is a summer blockbuster type movie and to be fair i love it it's set mainly in the rain in the dark of blue gray skies and stuff and then it goes into the city don't know
I kind of dig that shit. And both of these films will be covering a kind of peak 90s, really. You know, 90s, all the money thrown at the screen. It doesn't always work, but we kind of have a bit of a love for that, really, like a lot of people do, like we do for the 80s.
80s and the 70s I think there is a lot to be said for some of those 90s big budget movies that were just
A bit too big for their boots, really, but I do really love them. And there's a lot of them out there. I won't go through them all, but yeah. Well, funnily enough, I went to visit my uncle today. He's the man that really kind of got me into film collecting. He used to go over to his house, and he had the big box Warner VHS tapes, which I have quite...
a few of them but he had all the like the doctor who's and stuff he never had a horror but he had sci-fi but i just loved this collection and put them out looking at them and that was where i was like proper young before sort of going down video shops probably maybe five or so you know
And I went to visit him today because it's his 92nd birthday. And I was checking out his movie collection. He still has a movie collection. He's still one of us.
And I was just going through it, and it was like, Dirty Harry box set and stuff, and I was like, oh! And he had a Roland Emmerich film, and he had The Day After Tomorrow, which I'm a big fan of as well. Yeah. Okay, that was a great disaster film.
Very quickly, just before we get into it. And then I tried to explain to him and his wife what podcasting was. That was quite hard. And then I said I was going to make a lasagna and my auntie Pat in a very naive...
in a box british way he said lasagna yeah lasagna no we're not into that foreign mark it's like
It's like, you don't know what a lasagna is? It's like, there's probably like five Italian restaurants in every town in England. What the fuck is going on with you? It's just like...
Just that is the sort of people who probably read the newspaper and believe everything is just literally said to them in those five words on the front of the paper. And they're like, see, that's what's going on. And that's their opinion based. It's like, oh, my God. Anyway.
Anyway, we will talk about Ron and Emmerich briefly when we start off with Independence Day, but that's what we're covering in this episode. Me and Gab are excited to get back together because it's been a bit of a delay. I've got the biggest nipples. A lot's been going on. He's got the biggest nipples.
and that's it um and my kids started school that's exciting they're now school children which is crazy that's part of the reason i've been busy because they've been settling in
which means they do really crazy hours for about three or four weeks. But why are you busy at school? You're just skiving off. You're just skiving off and podcasting, that's what it is. Yeah, but they're at school for three or four hours.
And then I have to fucking drop everything and look after them. They won't look after themselves, unfortunately. I've tried to send them out of the house to go and do work, but apparently the government don't like that. I'm only joking. I know exactly how it goes.
Even when they're at school, you're doing fucking loads of housework and washing clothes and doing all the other shit that has to get done when they're not there. Exactly. As soon as they go to bed, that's when you actually start doing all the housework. A quick funny moment, though. Today, my wife...
and i went to the first sort of parent teachers meeting which really they've only been there three weeks so it was more of a how are they getting on
um and they read out to us because they're in separate classes our children they read out to us our you know some some questions they'd ask the kids some questions about family family life to get a feel for who they are and what they know about their life and stuff like that.
Edith sort of read out her things were like, me and my daddy build giant Lego castles. My daddy is very good at cuddling. My mummy goes to the office in London sometimes to work. Daddy works in the bedroom upstairs on his computer. So really...
intelligent, really cool, you know, truthful things. Is that code for you watching Pornhub? No, no.
And then Jack's answers were, we live in an empty police station. We don't have any furniture. We don't have any food at home. We don't have a TV. My favourite thing to do is watch TV.
Yeah. I saw the police station, Bill. I thought that was amazing. What the fuck are you talking about?
And then they said, bear in mind that our school is a five-minute round trip walking. Can you see very early on there, ages, how sensible ladies are to how silly men are? Jack is me, and I was like that when I was this age. But the final thing he said was...
and we live a five minute round trip so it takes me about two and a half minutes to get to the gates drop them off and come home
So he said, we live in a house with a blue door. This is correct. Very, very far away. We have to get a taxi to school every day. Fucking hell. He just made it all up. Yeah, love it. Love it.
Brilliant. Imagination. So, that's us, Scav. You've been somewhere. You've been to Frightfest. Frightfest. Frightfest. Frightfest. Shout-outs to Kate and Matt.
You got to meet Matt. I'm jealous because we and Matt are brothers from another mother that haven't... We can touch. Yeah, I haven't touched Matt yet. We did touch, actually. We touched. You touched Matt. There's lots of hugging at Fryfest. It was great. I'll show her.
People saw the social media pictures and stuff from Deadbolts.
account if you follow us on instagram and stuff yeah it's nice to just hang out all day long hanged out with nick as well uh teeth chatterer from hellraiser he's uh been working on some stuff he's been writing um a story for an upcoming comic for us and obviously
He did a little cameo bit in Amanda. But yeah, we're working on some stuff with him hopefully.
um it was really great to sit with matt and chat to him and but it's so i wanted to matt i wanted to chat to you about skateboarding um so uh be good to do that another point i just did it was just so busy so many people to talk to and it's all talking film
But yeah, it's really good. We all sat outside in the sunshine and enjoyed a drink and stuff. It's nice to see Kate. Yes, I watched a few films. Didn't watch all of them. I missed the first one and I missed the last one just because...
fright fest to me it was like my 22nd or 23rd year there now i i just kind of know a lot of people so like it's one of those things where you've just got buddies who are into something do you mean like a few like games or i don't know if i can
I don't know. You're insane. Every once a year, you just sort of see him. He's like, oh, how are you doing? And it's really nice to catch up with people. So I kind of miss the movies. It's more about the socialising, isn't it? I like the socialising because sometimes movies, you know, whatever. I do like doing that. I do watch a couple of things.
I watched three films, Mother of Flies.
uh adam's family movie um which was all right it's a nice symbolism in it it's okay um watched um another movie something bamboo and it's terrible i don't know the names i don't really know the name of the next one as well but i think people will be able to find them if they want to
French movie. Simple, simple fucking idea. It's not really spoiling it. I'll just say the basis of it. Some people tied down in the woods with bamboo planted underneath them.
oh it's old vietnamese torture apparently and bamboo goes quite quickly grows and it stabs through them so yeah it's it's all right it's worth a watch actually bamboo something it's french it's called bamboo i don't know
There we go. And then I watched another movie, The Rose or something like that. I'm terrible. A roving reporter, go. I didn't even do any podcasting from there this year. I didn't bother. It was a movie just about...
This kid, the first half of an hour had no dialogue at all. It was quite nice. And this kid just being hunted by these three guys with like masks on their head with all sort of tan jackets. The orange tone, there's a lovely orange tone to it all.
and they were just with shotguns with white sax faces, kind of like Jason, Friday, Friday, Part 2. It's just looking for this girl, and it's not a bad movie, that's okay. The first time director, chat to the director outside. Tom was fucking pissed out at his head. He didn't even...
Tom didn't even fucking watch the movie. Outside, I'm going like, Tom, I'm taking you home now because it's so fucked so we left the last movie. Tom goes up to the little girl who's in the movie and says, oh, you're really good.
I said to him, mate, you don't even watch the movie. It's nice that you complimented him. He said, oh, I saw the trailer.
And then he's chatting to the director about writing. Do I say to the director? He didn't fucking watch your movie. He was too drunk. He came in last minute, just before the credits roll, came up, sat next to John in the aisle, kissed John's knee, then went forward and sat in the lap of the guy.
in front of us um which is funny but anyway fright fest was all right it was nice to say hello to all my buddies there and stuff and yeah it was all right and i'll be going there again next year so you know um
Shout out to Martin Unsworth from Starburst magazine. There we go. That's right, Fest. What have you been doing? Well...
just before I'm really doing much other than working and getting the kids settled in school just before we get into what I've been watching and what we've both been watching one other thing I wanted to quickly mention is give a shout out to one of our patrons Sheila thanks for reaching out to us she was worried about where we
were because obviously there's been a bit of delay but we're back we're recording and also Sheila I wanted to give you some information I mentioned a couple of episodes ago that our highest rated episode
uh in about 18 months was the episode that was also a patron pick it was the greasy strangler um however that has changed now and we now have sheila's
patron episode which was the pope's exorcist and uh um what did we do the pope's exorcist and the ninth gate that is now our highest listened to episode
in about 18 months so our patrons are absolutely smashing it whether it's the greasy straggler or whether it's uh you know chubby russell crowe on a moped they whatever our patrons pick seem to be getting us
a lot more listens and a lot more downloads so yeah thanks for the patreon picks people yeah definitely yeah indeed that's so funny
It is, isn't it? But there we go. I was writing down notes earlier, just movies when we were chatting to you. I just looked at my next one. What's my next one? Custard creams? What the fuck's custard creams? I was like, no, I was eating a custard cream when I was writing a fucking note down while talking.
Talking to you, I just wrote the note custard cream rather than the fucking item. I don't know what it was. My memory doesn't know what... Anyone not from the UK, a custard cream is a biscuit. Obviously a biscuit. So my note is the biscuit's name.
it's a little sandwich of biscuit with custard in the middle my brain would have gone sweet that's that's nice you've written that down that's good that is all right
I don't think about it anymore. Forget about it. So I don't know what it was. All I know is Custard Cream. Sounds like a great horror film.
Well, I'll kick things off. I am late to the party, but I finally watched Bad Boys 4. Just because we're covering a Will Smith film. Bad Boys, Bad Boys. Bad Boys Ride or Die. It was...
absolutely ludicrous crazy i like the way the style i really enjoyed it there's really shot in a really interesting way actually there's a lot to be said for faster than the furious franchise because i feel like the bad boys franchise has kind of gone that way now it's they've
They defy gravity, they flip cars, they immune to bullets. There was a nice flip in the middle of it where they switch personalities because Will Smith suddenly develops anxiety and panic attacks and Martin Lawrence just thinks he's invincible.
I remember laughing for a bit as well and going like, this is actually quite an enjoyable movie, even though I'm not really into post-2000 and Will Smith. The best bit, which you would love as well, was the hip-hop.
reference there was a needle drop moment where the song kicks in where they were he was trying to hype will smith up during a shootout towards the end and he said come on you're the big bad wolf
you're the big bad wolf in the neighborhood not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good and then the run dmc song kicked in and they just pulled their guns out and i was like
this is good yeah there's lots of bits in which i enjoyed like i wouldn't show it to sarah she'd go this is a load of shit but i don't know i enjoyed that where the first bad boy movie i didn't mind um and then um
we just want to borrow some sugar i remember it's quite funny and then but then after that there's two and three i don't know uh not really it's kind of memorable then it's whatever but then this one is quite good but um yeah yeah
um so that was that i did go to cinema again apart from fright fest but i did go and watch weapons with my eldest child
I'm very excited to watch this. It's just coming to Prime, so I'll be renting it. Everybody's raving about it. You can add it to the list.
for an episode, maybe that and Bob Berry or something. I knew you'd say that. A lot of people have told me that we'll probably end up covering it. Yeah, we will. Absolutely. It's really just a fun, it's a really fun original movie.
which is what we need so i would suggest supporting it so if you could not download it for free and rent it when it comes to australia not you particularly i'm saying general people
Give it a support. I've heard it. It's a really original idea. We need original voices. And this dude with Barbarian as well. Yeah, I think he could probably keep doing...
he's but next movie he's doing though saying this okay support he's always getting next movie and he's already gone up there anyway he's doing resident evil
I think we'll probably end up covering barbarian and weapons. The thing is, you know, the next step, boom, Resident Evil. Adam Wingard, boom, Godzilla. Do you know what I mean? When they do these step up, sometimes they can't do the step down.
um i know wingard sort of then did player witch and stuff which would have been but like i hope he doesn't because weapons is such a nice original
Oh, wait. I think that was Gareth Evans. I'm thinking Gareth Evans. But the same sort of principle, though, do you know what I mean? They did a big step up, so Wingard did some big things. He did do something very, I can't remember what it was, no. But, like, I, like...
Weapons is really... It's that in-between going to the... Doing a big movie for a studio and coming out of a real solid independent film. Weapons is... The scope's bigger. It's just set in a town, but it's just...
really well made and i do hope that he can carry on making original pieces because you won't it's brilliant you don't really you could do it you could do with anything but you don't really want a weapons to the prequel or whatever it wouldn't happen
It's just going to be weapons and that's it. You could do, like, oh, what was going on? But it'd be a load of bollocks and there's no point. And that would only be completely fuelled by cunts and selfish...
selfishly wanting money like it's x so i think weapons would just be a standalone and it's an excellent film so it needs supporting excellent
That sounds good. I didn't even talk about anything of it. I literally talked about no content of the film. I don't need to, really. Everybody who's talked to me about it has said, don't spoil it. Just message me. There's a cameo in it, apparently, that I don't know anything about, so I will avoid it. I can't remember.
I'm going to talk about a TV show next. Not the one you want to talk about. We'll talk about that one at the end because there's a TV show we both want to talk about. But I started re-watching Stranger Things because Stranger Things Season 5 comes out next month. Well...
the first part of it comes up next month and the rest of it wraps up around Christmas. So I wanted to restart that. So I've been very slowly every now and again, watching one, maybe two episodes on an evening. I'm just finished season one. I'm starting season two. Great show still holds up for me.
um does all the nostalgia that i needed to do but it's also this time around i'm really noticing it's actually quite scary i didn't really not to me but
I didn't notice how horror it was the first time around. I think I was more interested in sort of the 80s nostalgia this time around because I'm used to all of that. I think this might be my third watch now of it all. Oh, wow. I'm enjoying...
just the horror side of it and actually how they get away with a lot of the stuff they do considering it's kind of aimed at younger teens it's got quite a lot of gore and some scares in it and some great references to horror films for horror fans so
I know you like Stranger Things. Will you be watching season five, the final season when it comes out? Yeah, I'm looking forward to watching it. I didn't mind it at all. Funny enough...
i would probably go back and watch it all again i know for example again sarah hasn't watched it it's not interested she she looks at it as like a younger sort of
teen type sort of thing which is essentially but it's got other stuff obviously um so i know it's not for everybody that sort of thing and especially now it's been a long time since that first one come out you know so everyone's grown up a real long time so
2016. I did, though, enjoy it as a TV show. It was a solid fucking TV show. It had horror elements. It had mystery. It had a lot of stuff. So I probably would because I'm such a fucking... brainless twat i i forget everything anyway so for me it's like watching a new tv show
And as always, as a parent now, this is the first time I've watched it since being a parent, I really get Winona Ryder's character now. She's lost her son. Oh, yeah, yeah. But also, I realised how great her performance was in it so far. You know, she's amazing. I thought she gave her breasts for some reason.
No, but Winona Ryder was my first crush, so, you know. Fair enough. Peace of juice. I watched at the weekend, I watched Rosera, we, because, why did we watch that?
i thought we watched one of these others cubics we we sat and watched 2001 space obviously oh nice um i've not seen i've seen it once when i was like 18 19.
And it was just like, let's sit and watch this on a Sunday afternoon. You know, had a roast on in the background, cooking away.
And Sam watched it and it was really interesting. Then it gets to the point at the end, you're like, this is trippy as shit. What the fuck's going on? Really interesting movie.
yeah at some point i'll sit and think about my thoughts on it really but i need to do that in a dark room it's sort of movie 18 year old us would have found quite boring just not just stuff is memorable obviously but um i thought at the end i thought
went back to he landed a spaceship back where the monkeys were then the monkeys came along and smashed them up and killed him and that's how it ended that was in my head that's how it ends and that's not how it ends you just hate monkeys you just hate monkeys i'll get um all right monkeys now um oh brilliant i like the monkey
Yeah, I'm alright. I need to get my clown thing on the go. We were going to watch Clowns of the Cornfield, but we didn't get around to it. I'll tell you what, though. When I was at the cinema, the weirdest fucking thing coming out in October, because we've always got spooky season coming up, the weirdest thing...
is...
Radiohead's Kid A album, which I really fucking like. I'm a big fan of that album. It was using a Chaos Pad, which is something I used when I was DJing, so at the exact same time I was doing music, kind of weird stuff, that album came out, and so I felt quite...
Symbolic? Maybe. Anyway.
Regardless, I really like the album. And it's coming out of the cinema as a soundtrack combined with Nosferatu. What the fuck? So they're playing Nosferatu. I didn't expect you to see that. Radiohead's Kid A underneath it.
So I said to my oldest, I said, I know you don't smoke weed, but that right there is something you'd smoke weed to.
you know because that sounds insane so i'm a big fan of it so it looks like i'm probably going by myself to watch radiohead kid hey listen to that because i love the album and just see a vampire wandering around
because i once watched wizard of oz with the dark side of the moon pink floyd i've heard playing yeah i watched it and it works it does work you know but it'd been edited together because it doesn't quite work no of course
you know the timing isn't quite there but it does work it's just literally some stoners like hey man let's do this dude yeah man but i did watch it and it was it put a new spin on it you know it's weird and crazy but
But yeah, so some fucking acid heads come up with this idea, so I'm going to go and check that out. But yeah, so 2001.
You or me? Can I get two? I'll do two. You slip in two, Daniel. Oh, hello. Only because one of them is...
I was disappointed. I watched the Eminem documentary Stans. Yeah, it's not very good. It was like having a wank for about 90 minutes and nothing happening at the end.
And the reason I say that is because what they do is they get about 10 fans, diehard fans, and they basically get them to tell the story of Eminem from their knowledge of him.
you know, some of them are quite extreme. One of them is the most tattooed Eminem fan in the world. She's got like...
25 tattoos of eminem on her body seems quite normal but she's got all these tattoos and they they chat to them all from all around the world and you know all colors and ages and you know genders they chat to them all there's like a trans person on there there's a couple of black people white people
the french people they're all on there and they're all chatting about eminem and it's brilliant and all the way through you're thinking oh man when they meet eminem at the end of this it's gonna be brilliant and right at the end the director says to them all
so what would you do if M&M walked through the door now were you expecting to meet M&M today and they're like yeah I was oh my god if he walked in the door I don't know what I'd do he doesn't walk in the fucking door that's the end of the documentary what who on earth
for that what producer for this this is great idea so are we going to show him no there's even he's in it you know and he does talk and he talks about his fans
It's a documentary about his fans. Exactly, I don't know why they did that. The cruelest thing they do, right, they get this one girl that's been a fan of him. Is Jeremy Beardle set it up?
No, but the cruelest thing they do is there's one girl who moved to Detroit and she got a job in the same sort of McDonald's style fast food restaurant that he worked in for years.
And she works there now. She's worked there for 10 years. And at the end of the documentary, she's sat in the cafe. But she still works in...
and they're talking to her about what it'd be like to meet eminem and outside you see a big hummer drive by and you think oh my god oh my god and then they cut to eminem in a humvee chatting
So it's not the same place. This is, from a filmmaker's perspective, I've made documentaries. This is a cheap-ass motherfucking documentary. It was enjoyable. Cheap tricks, though.
Yeah, it was enjoyable, but I dropped it a point for the trick it played. So anyway, watch it, but don't expect much from it. Then the other thing I wanted to mention, and then I'll go back to you, is I...
thought it was I'd seen it before but turns out I haven't I watched Dracula from 1979 oh Frank Langella Laurence Olivier
My God, that was good. I've not seen it. My God. It was so, so good. It was like, if Hammer Studios had been given a really big budget and could hire Oscar-winning actors like Frank Langella...
You know, and Laurence Olivier. Laurence Olivier as Van Helsing is amazing. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's really good. It's really sexy, romantic, gothic. It's just...
It's everything you want a Dracula movie to be. And I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed it. And it's now probably in my top three Dracula movies of all time. Watch your other two. Obviously, Bram Stoker's in there.
Bram Soga's number one. Thanks to Matthew Godley, one of our patrons, for making me realise when we covered that. And then Universal for a second.
Probably Universal, yeah. What about Horror of Jackson, the American title? I like some of the Christopher Lee ones. They're all enjoyable, but they're not in the top three.
um the the universal one is much better in my opinion much more atmospheric yeah i might have to watch some of the universals again this year because i do like those films yeah and so that was my that was my double there speaking of the documentary that charlie sheen documentary came out was really good
Yes, I can't wait to watch that. I really enjoyed it. I've always been a Charlie Sheen fan. I really enjoyed the fact that he... At one point, some crazy shit goes on in that documentary. At one point, he was smoking...
five no no seven grams of coke rocks in one hit seven grams in one hit how is he still alive no um uh fucking
Sean Penn's there going, his biology, Sean Penn being all fucking, I'm fucking cool, man. His barge is all different, man. You know, he's, he's just fucking, no one like Jai. That's what Sean Penn's like.
Yeah, it's a really good documentary. Well worth a watch. I thought they could bring up the Clint Eastwood stuff a bit more. I only had Clint Eastwood ring them up one time saying to him, hey kid, sort it out. We don't want to lose you. That's about it really. Because obviously he did a film with him.
it's on netflix uk and probably netflix everywhere now it's really decent um getting on to watch it yeah definitely getting on saying also sarah and i fuck me sarah and i friday night we're like right let's watch horror movie look each other like normally means we both check out our lists
Do we have anything corresponding crossed over a week ago? Oh, let's watch that movie. Let's see if there's anything new on Netflix. Let's see if there's anything on Disney. Let's see if there's anything on Prime. Oh, Prime's got fucking thousands of horror movies.
right so we're gonna spend next hour we'll find a movie we put it on it'll be we won't watch it all you know it's that thing no no no within within moments i was like the cave
I've never seen that. And we love caving videos. Well, I quite like people being stuck in caves. I don't like people being stuck in caves, but I like watching the videos because it's creepy as all shit. And it's just like, oh my God.
So I was like, okay, if you've not seen this, and this was kind of buried. It's like that thing when movies come out at the same time.
The Descent and The Cave came out around the same time. So no one thought about The Cave because everyone was like, Descent, Descent, Descent, you know, Dog Soldiers director.
We watched it. That's a really good film, The Cave. Yeah, it's good. I like it. I've not seen it, and it's the first time, the cinema photographer, his first movie that he's shot, and it's beautiful, and it must have been in some fucking hardcore conditions.
It's an excellent film. The effects are good. The story's good. The acting's good. It's fucking well produced. I recommend watching The Cave if you've not seen it.
Yeah, it's definitely good. It's not as good as The Descent. That is just up there. No, that's what Sarah said, but at the same time, it's a pretty decent movie. And they would make a good double bill if you want to watch. It's better than The Descent 2, I'll say that. When I got home from Weapons, I was like, fuck it, I want to watch another movie.
Hostel and then last night with Sarah I watched Hostel 2 because she's a Hostel 2 fan and I said is that just because it's a lady's perspective no no no she likes it gets to it quicker then we discussed the fact that I was like yeah but you need Hostel 1 to set up the storyline the characters
And then we're going like, well, if you watch Hostel 2 without that set up and just went into it like that, it would work as a movie. And I said, yeah, it does work. But anyway, Hostel 2 is pretty good as well. So I enjoyed that. Hostel 3 is not good. No, and the director died recently. But Hostel 3? Scott Spiegel.
Oh, wow. So, rest in peace. Speaking of rich, Robert Redford died today, so rest in peace, Robert Redford. Not really done any horror though, to be fair. No, but he's a very classic actor. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yes, go on.
I've got one more to talk about before we talk about one that we both realised we were going to be talking about. Very quickly, I watched The Endless as well. The Endless. Moorhead and Benson, Benson Moor.
films about Alien Death Cult. It's pretty good. Alien Death Cult.
What a great name for a band. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. The end is worth a watch. Oh, talking of which, you've reminded me we need to give a shout out to another one of our patrons, Matthew Godley, for sending us a lovely present. Thank you very much. Which I allowed you to have. It was...
complicated journey but it got there he sent you a vhs copy of the entity the entity where if you've never seen this movie a lady is gang raped by ghosts not making that up it's not like some shit joke it's a strange that is legit compelling film
Yeah, we're going to cover it at some point because it's the sort of film we need to talk about. But yes, thank you. Finally got to be after three attempted deliveries. Me attempting to go to the warehouse to get it. Not open. Have to go back again. Fuck's sake. Got it.
but thank you so much super generous oh yeah really appreciate that he's a good guy uh matthew and he always always helps us out he's got a vast library of films he sent me a few stuff over the years really really kind really kind um
The other one I was going to talk about before we talk about the TV show we've both been watching, I watched a recent movie, The Monkey, Stephen King, directed by Osgood.
I watched it recently with Sarah as well. And I've really enjoyed it. It was very funny. I really liked the main guy that played twins in it.
um the deaths were good he's in that um lock stock tv show ah that's where i've seen him before yeah uh
yeah i didn't mind the film um towards the end i got a bit bored of the twin gimmick but i thought it was a really fun film um had vibes of sort of final destination but also a few other things yeah the depths of the way to say it for sure
Yeah, but it was really enjoyable and I'll be re-watching it in October because I'll be doing all Stephen King films for my 31 Days of 31, which is creeping up on us. So I'll be re-watching that in October for that.
That was the last film. Yeah, I've got no agenda for the 31 yet. So you and I both want to talk about a TV show we've both been watching. I have no idea what you think of it. You've no idea what I think of it. But I'm talking about the most recent Disney Plus...
Go on. Go on, what were you going to say? I was going to say, I think everyone who watches it is probably going to be, unless you're crazy, is going to probably have a positive opinion. Yeah. Alien Earth.
really good which is the tv show um that is so far as we record there's been six episodes there's two more to go it takes place two years before the events of alien um and
i'm really sucked into it um right from the first two they released two episodes on the same day and then it's one a week and i like that you're up to date as we speak
Yeah, I haven't watched... Obviously, the new episode will be out tomorrow as we record. Yeah, I've got to wait until I'm with Sarah. There's only two episodes left. I know. But what I was going to say was, whether you like it or not... I think you would. Episode five...
is one of the best is probably the best piece of tv horror without spoiling it what episode is that it's the flashback episode where we find out what happened on the ship yeah yeah to the point when i went back with sarah i was like oh because i was so enjoying
The flashback, when we went back to the young kids again, you know, the ones... Yeah. Don't spoil it. I was a bit like, a little bit like, no. But that episode... It's like a standalone movie.
It was an hour and five minutes long, and I'd happily just watch that episode as a horror film. Yeah, absolutely. The gore is insane. The effects are incredible. They're mostly practical. I think you could do that as well. It's the first time they've ever had practical fate.
it's people in Xenomorph costumes you can see it's people in costumes for sure which is kind of a noise in a way though because it's kind of like well it's there it's right in front of them it's sliming actually on their faces you know and this is no spoiler but it's not just about the Xenomorph
species it's about about four or five other species of aliens that are equally as nasty but in very different ways particularly my favorite is and i think everyone's favorite is the eyeball alien
um that eyeball alien is something magical and disgusting all at the same time it is without getting spoiler detected fancy it is that thing like what's what's its beef with xenomorphs like what's going on i know
It's great. And there's two episodes left. I'm really glad you're loving it as well. I don't think you can't. The production of it, just on a visual level, it looks like there's a nice bit of grain in there and stuff. It looks like...
like the color tone they've got the palette the way they've got their costumes everything looks like a fucking mid 70s film it looks and i know it's easy to do that i do that myself i make the films look certain ways but like it's they've just there's such
attention to detail has been produced so well with someone who fucking loves that shit has done it with absolute respect
One thing that might put some people off, and I know online people don't like, is they use contemporary music in it. So they're using much more modern music in it. Yeah, right at the end they have a song. Right at the end of episodes. It's like a theme. It doesn't bother me that much. Who gives a fuck about that? If you're thinking about that, you're a twat.
simple is that oh i'm glad so yeah that's us recommending it alien earth it'll be eight episodes in total and they're about an hour each
So you've got an eight-hour Alien movie to watch. And if you like the Alien movies, they're going to love that. And I'd happily go through that and watch it again, that TV show. If there's going to be one season as well, it'd be nice.
I'll probably binge the whole thing in a couple of years again. Absolutely. Because I love waiting for the week by week, don't get me wrong. Yeah, it makes it old school, doesn't it? It makes it like wearing X-Files or Twin Peaks or something.
I love those days. Yeah. Back in the days. Shall we get on with this motherfucker? Yeah. So we're doing summer blockbusters. So before we go to our first trailer with trailer voice, it will probably be him doing it. He did all the summer blockbusters.
I thought we'd have a quick discussion and review of summer blockbusters. No, we'll do that when we get to Independence Day.
We're just going to quickly talk about summer blockbusters. What is a summer blockbuster? And just to jog some people's memories and then talk about some of the biggest selling and blockbusters of all time, that kind of thing. Well, we know straight away off the bat. I know you could do this, but straight off the bat, the only knowledge I'm going to give you.
It was coined from the phrase after the first one being Jules topped everyone's, and they're like, oh my God, and they've obviously been a summer movie, and they went, summer blockbuster. That's kind of where it came from. Am I correct? Yes, Jules is...
historically known as the first summer blockbuster. So it's typically a movie that, you know, there were ones before Jules, but...
That was the big one that made over $100 million. Presumably, it's large in every sense. It's large-scale films, large productions, large amounts of money they're taking.
Yeah. Exactly. And people, multiple viewings, people go back and watch them again. The same people see them again. So people were going back to see Jules two, three, four, five times, you know, during that summer. What a summer that must have been.
So, yes, exactly. You took the... Jaws is the first one, really. Jaws is in a cinema right now. Yes, it's 50, isn't it? 50, yeah. So that's... jules so i just thought we'd have a quick chat about 70s 80s 90s and what some of the highest grossing movies were of those decades
just to give people an idea of what we're talking here and obviously godzilla you know when we get to it was is considered a flop
But it still was a summer blockbuster of sorts. That's the reason I'm going on this tangent, really. The thing is, watching Godzilla now, you watch it and you go...
The movie's got such scope and stuff to it. There's a lot of films come out now and it's not very good.
Do you know what I mean? There's a lot of things not very good. This is actually quite a lot of practical stuff in it. There's a lot of actual things going on. It's not all CGI. It's really a lot of detail. So to look at it then, I think we were all blinded by the fact...
especially in the 80s blinded by all these amazing movies coming out at the same time when another movie which is just a bit under the level of that amazing movie we were into at the time we go
whatever like The Cave and Descent and come back to it and go that's actually a pretty decent film and you watch it now compared to films that are coming out now you go if this film came out now you'd be like oh that's fucking well good you know the reason I'm only really taking a look at the 70s 80s and 90s is they're quite prolific
years but also after the 90s is where the cgi really started coming in so unfortunately and i love them but a lot of superhero movies are going to be blockbusters now those transformer movies those kind of stuff that people don't necessarily all like
um because they're all cgi and they're easier to make although they still cost a hell of a lot of money um but yeah so let's get into that then so 70s so the highest grossing movie of the 70s
wasn't jewels jewels was number two it was actually star wars the original star wars from 1977 was the highest grossing film of the 70s
But again, off the back of, you know, Jules, George Lucas was like, well, I'm going to make myself a summer blockbuster because he's buddies with Spielberg. So he would have wanted to get in on that. Quite surprising, though, with some of the ones after that, the third highest grossing film of the 70s was The Exorcist.
for us horror fans. Okay. Because of the controversy around that and people wanted to go back and see it and then the hype and people were being sick in the cinema and all this stuff, rubbish that you read about, you know, it's a cursed film and all that kind of stuff. So people wanted to go and see it.
Sucking cocks in hell. Number four is Enter the Dragon. What?
Because Kung Fu was fucking big in the 70s. People loved Kung Fu. Bruce Lee in the 70s. I fucking love it when these things come in like that. So you get a certain period, you can watch a TV show and all of a sudden they'll just be like...
And you know when you've just reached the 80s, because there'll be a ninja, the 80s came around in the... uh sorry the ninjas came around in the early 80s so you know if you're watching magnum
or the A-Team, and they have to suddenly fight a bunch of ninjas, you know you're in the 80s. I've started shooting a fake ninja trailer for the ninja movie that me and my son Elijah are making. We went out and filmed a couple of shots the other day, and we call it Ninjid, so it's like Ninja Kid.
ninja nice that's what it's called like injured i was like i suppose ninja yeah yeah um and then after that weirdly greece was number five so you know it's a big movie everyone everyone knows of it um
Close Encounters of the Third Kind was number six. Let's have a triple bill, shall we? Exorcist, Grease, and Enter the Dragon. That would be a crazy one, wouldn't it?
um superman of course it had to be on there but really surprisingly at number seven not sure why that was so low down when it's considered the biggest or one of the biggest and first superhero films of all time um smoking the bandit at number eight
britt reynolds gets in there uh and then we've got the godfather the rocky next to the exit i love it next to the exit so william freed can love to be in this list amongst these movies rocky alien was the 18th
highest-grossing film of the 70s, which is still decent, you know. So that's the 70s. So that was where they were born, really, the summer blockbuster. So on to the 80s then. I'd love to have been in cinema at first when people knew nothing about Goyga, nothing about Alien.
nothing at all when they watched that first movie and you're like, what the shit? That John Merritt scene would have blown everyone away, wouldn't it? You have cinemorphs in the first Alien, yeah.
Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. Okay, so I was just thinking, oh, does anyone just come out in the aliens? Okay, so aliens versus multiples, yes. The alien is hunting them down and the facehugger gets on Kane's face. That's just shit people up.
Yeah. So on to the 80s then. Now you'll notice that Mr. Spielberg is all over this and Mr. Lucas. So... number one highest-grossing movie of all time was obviously et in the 80s everybody knows that it's what it was at one point one of the highest grocery movies of all time ever
That's been punched down way down the list now since we've had all the superhero movies and Avatar and all that come out. And I will get to the all-time list later. But E.T. was number one. Number two was The Empire Strikes Back.
And number three was Return of the Jedi. I saw the Impostorics back as a kid in the cinema, so I paid my way. Well, my parents did. Number four was Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, so the third one. I watched that again a couple weeks ago.
Batman, Tim Burton's Batman was number five. I saw that twice at the cinema myself in 1989. Right. So I helped get that up to number five. Well done, Daniel. Well done. Raiders of the Lost Ark was number six. Nice.
Back to the Future, number seven, Ghostbusters, number eight, Top Gun, number nine, and Rain Man, number 10. Then you had Temple of Doom was 11, Back to the Future 2, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Beverly Hills Cop, Rocky IV, and a bunch of other movies in there as well.
So 80s was a magical decade, as we know. We love that decade. But yeah, Spielberg and Lucas were, they were making some money then, weren't they? And then we'll move on to the 90s.
So the highest grossing movies of the 90s. So obviously it was Titanic, James Cameron.
he held that top spot for 15 years james cameron is probably up there and the directors of scoping scale of spielberg and lucas is needed for films that he's bringing out well titanic and avatar
two of the highest grossing movies of all time. I think Avatar is still the highest grossing movie of all time. I've still never seen it. But yeah, Titanic. But Spielberg was back in the 90s because Jurassic Park was the second highest grossing film.
um of the 90s is he still making avatar films it i need to he's got he's got three three and four coming out is anyone good care by that point i still haven't seen the second one because like when you have these long distances between things like the fad goes
and that that was a fad everyone talking about avatars on the site it doesn't look like something i fancy watching personally i saw it in 3d at the cinema and it did blow me away with i heard the effects and that reason's good but that was definitely a 3d was a fad as well then so it's like
else is keeping people to wanting to watch that really
I know. Well, Jurassic Park was number two. Lucas was back with Star Wars The Phantom Menace. You know, the hype around that when it came out in 1999. And this is the last year of the 90s and it's still the third highest grossing.
um disney got in with the lion gang at number four independence day was the fifth highest grocery movie of the 90s it made big money it was an event movie i bought it on vhs
from a shop that gave you a free t-shirt of independence day when you bought it you know back then you remember those days you used to get a t-shirt when you bought it from like walworths or whatever forrest gump
six six cents number seven jurassic park two the lost world was number eight men in black will smith was in at number nine as well um
Armageddon, Terminator 2, Ghost, and then it just goes on to a few others, like Home Alone and a few other ones. The Matrix is way down now. It's definitely going to be a summer blockbuster. It's set in the fucking winter. I don't know why. I don't know why.
But that is the 90s for you. No sign of Godzilla. That is one thing. The summer blockbuster is definitely one thing with Jaws set present, really. It's set in the fucking summer as well. So, like...
you could probably go for that list you just had and have movies which are not that which i feel like in a way you kind of need that it gives it that you know it's set in the summer it's coming out then it's a summer blockbuster do you know i mean i know it doesn't there's no rules but
Well, I now have the definitive summer blockbuster top 10. So these are films that are considered summer blockbusters the year they came out and they came out in the summer. So Jaws, number one.
The Omen, number two. Star Wars, the original, number three. Grease, number four. Rocky II. Rocky II. Which is, I prefer...
I prefer it to the first one. The Empire Strikes Back. I've seen it once when I was a kid. Raiders of the Lost Ark, E.T., Return of the Jedi, and Temple of Doom. So that's your top ten of all-time summer blockbusters.
because finally i'm going to talk about the highest grossing films of all time and this is where you'll see cgi come in and kind of like
change the game you know and make things in films like et and that are way down the list now because of these films and there's you'll see a trend here gav oh sorry you say cgi coming in also high grossing because it would have it still costs money but i know computer graphic engineers
get paid peanuts to work slave hours to make these graphics for these films we like the cgi so that's why they're getting more of a profit on it and that's why they're probably coming in better because their overheads are lower because they're not actually doing prosthetics
And ticket prices are more expensive. And ticket prices more, so those things... So it might not be that the content is actually mainly better. You know what I'm saying? So...
highest grossing movie of all time is indeed james cameron's avatar very cheeky because um it was overtaken by endgame avengers endgame and then um
He re-released Avatar in the cinema to mark its fifth year or whatever, or ten years, and then pipped it back to the top spot. Cheeky boy, Mr Cameron. Because he was just adding back on to what he already had. Yeah.
so he wasn't going out to do it on purpose he was just releasing it because people you know want to see it so but yes in this context it looks like he's like hey i'm gonna do that but obviously that's not the case it's and it's very minimum minuscule because that was
2.9 billion worldwide gross. I've got that in my pocket. And Avengers Endgame was 2.7. My very big pocket. 2.8. Avengers Endgame is 2.8.
uh so just behind it but avengers endgame is the second highest grossing film of all time the hype around that obviously you had 18 films that led up to it if you were if you wanted to watch them
um it put everybody that you've been wanting to see on screen i went to see it four times at the cinema so that was probably the most i've seen a film at the cinema
And it was the best cinematic experience of my life, as I've said many times. The hype in the cinema, the crowd reactions, brilliant.
Avatar 2, The Way of Water, is the third highest-grossing film of all time. And get this, Titanic is number four. So James Cameron holds the spots of one, three, and four. The highest-grossing films of all time.
time it's all right if you've never seen it a sunday drama and you're bored and it's raining outside yeah it's all right that's about it and then the list gets weird because then it's star wars the force awakens from 2015
Just because the Star Wars hype. Yeah, I did see that one. Avengers Infinity War, Spider-Man No Way Home. I've seen the Spider-Man's. Inside Out 2 is number eight. I saw that as an one. That is the highest-grossing animated film of all time.
Weird. And then Jurassic World. Like Toy Story or something. More people spent money on Jurassic World than they did Jurassic Park, the original, which is crazy.
And then the rest of the list I won't bother because it's all superhero movies and Fast and Furious movies and Pixar movies. Very quickly, with Inside Out 2, it's because the first one didn't because people didn't know what it was and it got on such a big thing.
Second time it comes around. It goes to make money. We had Toy Story. People wouldn't know how good it was. Toy Story 2 might have made more money. Do you know what I mean? I don't know if it did. Yeah, alright, cool. Well, I think everyone's saying shut the fuck up, you guys, and get on with the fucking reviews.
Excellent. Well, let's bust some blocks and we'll get into Independence Day. So let's get our American... um flags up in the air and um light some cigars when the fat lady sings and slap chris rock in the face because we're going to independence day baby let's do it
It's the real thing. A radio signal from another world.
It's settled into a stationary orbit. Part of it is broken off into nearly three dozen other pieces. Smaller than the hull, sir. Yet over 15 miles in width themselves. Where are they heading? They should be entering our atmosphere within the next 25 minutes.
Let's just get there as quickly as possible. What's the rush, huh? If you go get to Washington, it won't be there. It is confirmed. The unexplained phenomenon is headed for Moscow.
It's like a chess. First, they're positioned to pieces. Here's this one signal to synchronize their efforts. And then what? Checkmate. I really don't think they flew 90 billion light years to start a fight.
Independence Day from 1996 rated PG-13 or 12A in the UK.
Two hours and 25 minutes. It's a big one. The aliens are coming. No, the aliens are coming and their goal is to invade and destroy Earth.
Fighting superior technology, mankind's best weapon is the will to survive. The will, Smith, to survive. Oh, baby. Oh, baby, like rawr.
Now, it's directed by Roland Emmerich. So before we get into our thoughts, initial thoughts of this and when we saw it and that kind of stuff, we'll just quickly have a quick chat about Roland Emmerich. An interesting German director who...
He's definitely made a name for himself doing sort of big disaster type movies and explosions or whatever. Now, you know, being German, he's made a lot of German films and shorter, unknown films. He made a film called Ghost Chase.
in 1987 which i have to see it looks great 1987 it's also called the Hollywood monster I think in the US title but it's also the international title is Ghost Chase looks great it looks cheesy it's got 4.3 in IMDb might check it out at some point
He then made a moon movie, Moon 44. Then he made... You keep talking. Just grab my notes. You just keep talking. Then he made Universal Soldier.
starring obviously JCVD Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren so he's dabbled in a little bit of horror and spooky stuff he's done some sort of a little bit of sci-fi but then he goes
I don't know how you describe Universal Soldier, really. Is Universal Soldier science fiction, action? It's a bit of all of it, really. Dead zombie soldiers brought back to life. But that was his first one that really, really people were like, okay, he...
Universal Soldier. Oh, did he direct it? I don't know. Yeah, that was the big one he did. That was in 1992. Then he really got together. It was a big hit.
It was. And then he got together with Kurt Russell and a huge special effects team and made Stargate in 1994.
which was a huge success to the point that there's several movies, but four TV show spin-offs, there's Stargate Atlantis, Stargate this, Stargate that. And it was a huge 90s franchise.
I think my mum used to watch the Stargate series. I didn't really ever see much of it, but the first Stargate movie is really good. It's all to do with the Egyptian pyramids and the ancient aliens, all the stuff that I absolutely love.
So by this point, this guy can do big explosions, science fiction, that kind of thing. So that was 1994. He then made the movie we're about to speak about, Independence Day, which...
Blew the doors off and, yeah, made a name for Will Smith. It got, you know, Jeff Goldblum involved, Bill Pullman and everybody else, and they made a sequel to it.
Which wasn't very good. I do miss these type of films, these all-star films. Yeah, back in the day, like Earthquake or... yeah it's from the 70s and you have like some sombra of cast of all different people we get it now we're having a resurgence of it now but it's with the murder mysteries um yeah
which have always been a staple of that as well anyway, which has always had a big, vast character from different types of films all put together in a situation. But I do miss these blockbuster ones, for sure. I don't get them so much now.
He would have grown up in Germany watching Earthquake, The Poseidon Adventure, and all those kind of movies. Towering Inferno. And essentially, this isn't a disaster film, it's a sci-fi film.
because of the nature of it and we do need to speak about the nature of the aliens and that happening and stuff like you know with atlas 3i coming around at the moment i know well i will talk about that in a minute yeah absolutely that relates to some of this film actually
at this 3i no because it's a third interstellar i've been calling it 31 no it's 3i third interstellar object because i was i was in the science museum with the kids on the weekend and the lady we were talking to the lady about um in there about
and meteorites and she said do your kids want to touch a real meteorite and i was like do that i do so she got a book i want to be the stephen king in creep show
So she got this box of meteorites out and they were so heavy because a lot of them are made of iron. Right. And they were so heavy. So you held something which was in space. Crazy. My kids were just like...
They were more interested in the fact, because she said to them, here's a big magnet, this really powerful magnet she gave them. She said, tell me what the difference is between these rocks. And obviously, most of the ones from space have got iron ore in them.
and she was just like telling me about these different rocks and i was just holding all these different rocks and thinking this has been like millions of years away you know it's crazy that i'm holding this it's but yeah anyway um i started talking to her about atlas
3i i was i was calling it i was 31 so she probably thought i was stupid but we'll get on to that because there's some parallels to independence day yeah i agree then after independence day 96 he took a rest while he started post-production on
Godzilla. So that was his next movie, which he regrets. He really regrets. Spielberg phoned him up and said, do not make this film Spielberg.
It sounded like Spielberg. Is that Spielberg's fucking whack cousin? I made a new movie, Bob Spielberg's my name. He phoned him and said, don't do this. It's the Japanese.
originals are so beloved and he was right he probably shouldn't have done it but he said he now appreciates the cult following it's got but he still wishes he hadn't made it in some ways um
He steps away from the big blockbuster movies in a way for his next movie in 2000, which was The Patriot with Mel Gibson. It did do well, but it wasn't your kind of typical... Yeah.
You know, it was more of a historic Braveheart style movie. But yeah, I love this film. It's very good. Which film? Independence Day.
Yeah. Oh, sorry. Did you not want me to finish? Well, you can do. What else are you talking? What else are you doing? But only because they relate to the films we're watching. In my head, we started going into Independence Day.
then he then he did the day after tomorrow so another big bang explosion end of the world star movie yep that was in 2004 i like he made that 10 000 bc movie which i didn't really like very much have you seen that all about the
the caveman no the japanese are playing something bigger then he did 2012 which i really liked just just a minute ago so the japanese are playing with something really bigger cutting on you but it's gone again now so don't worry about it what sorry
IMDB just wanted to throw something at me. Don't worry. It's on the recording. It's on the podcast.
Yeah, so then he did 2012, which came out in 2009, confusingly, which I quite liked. 2012, the end of the world. For no reason at all, the world just begins to end. I think John Cusack's in that as a limo driver. I remember liking Day of the Smart Bear, but yes, but same.
same director doing it so he does everything is though he he knows how to like in scope to do it with all these like because like day after tomorrow is like very world widely with adventures to it and stuff
Then he did White House Down, which is another Michael Bay style, maybe explosions. It's kind of a disaster movie because it's about terrorists.
um and then he did a couple more stuff including the independence day resurgence which we've talked about which is sad really it's all right but it was a bit sad to watch and his his upcoming film is he's doing a remake of stargate
Which he directed himself in the 90s. So Roland Emmerich is a man that loves big explosions, buildings being destroyed, end of the world type stuff.
And he directed these two movies we're going to cover, specifically this first one. Now we can talk about it. Independence Day from 1996. Did you go and see this at the cinema? No. Did you not? No.
I was there. Watch this. I was 18. I was in the heights of skateboarding. I got to admit, there's a period of my life where I actually kind of...
did like avoid cinema and tv and things because i was just like literally skateboard skateboard skateboard and that's the only thing i was absorbing at time and that's probably for a span of around this actually so no i missed it it's quite funny there's a lot there's a period of movies which i missed
in cinema you know randomly yeah well i saw this at cinema it was real sort of um what do you call it uh
It was just, everyone was talking about it. You know, it was all over everything. It was making all the money. And also you've got to remember, a different time then really as well. We didn't have the internet. I wouldn't have looked at my phone or you wouldn't have messaged me on WhatsApp and said, you've got to check this movie. I know obviously people would say in the playground or whatever.
around the water machine in the office or wherever the fuck or in the pub around the pool table and that's kind of the way it got out and yeah I don't know I think you could probably easily miss some of these films at the time
before then, before it was so easy to have known what was going on with the hype and stuff, a little bit. I'll tell you something that this shares with Godzilla is, and a lot of big budget movies like this in the 90s, this was before 9-11, so this was when...
people weren't quite so concerned or worried.
And they didn't mind showing things blowing up and exploding, you know, the White House or whatever it is. And in fact, you see the Twin Towers in both this film and in Godzilla. And it's interesting that the world felt a bit safer.
back then the only sort of explosions we were really seeing were aliens attacking will smith or godzilla or whatever it might be beginning of the 2000s then we had 9 11 and obviously the world was a little bit different
after that really so that's another little thing really for me on this but yeah i i love this movie and i'm going to be talking about how much i love this movie
for the next hour or so and in speaking of the aliens with it it's a really interesting I watched Contact again recently while Ford's through it because it's very long I've got a boring film actually with Jodie Foster just getting you know
a contact from an alien well no contact from a signal in space um but this this being the whole idea of like i like this is for me probably the best uh interpretation of what would probably happen.
I say loosely, if an alien came down, I think the panic, the different stuff going on, the sort of things, the groups of people wanting to go, we're hippies, we want to say hello to them, and just the breakdown of...
society um it doesn't have i don't think it really steps upon religion too much in this can't remember there is a little bit of religion in it there's certainly a lot of patriotism in this yeah so I think there's a lot of but it still keeps with
America, which isn't at the moment, and I'm not really, we're not political or commenting or anything really, but this keeps with America being, we're all fucking together and we're going to fucking kick your fucking ass. And that is a kind of felt that very...
80s America from a perspective of just watching films.
Yeah, I know what you mean. As a kid, you wouldn't fuck with America. And I feel like this is still one of those last films, which is they all come together to fight fucking spaceships and they get the best pilots.
And in some ways that's quite a positive because it shows that a country or the world can pull together. Regardless of what you are, who you are. I was actually listening to a podcast yesterday about...
um the government's secret sort of zombie apocalypse protocols they've got you know they just in case they've got these the alien invasion they have to write these things governments you know and they were basically saying the the takeaway from it was
There are two types of people when it's the end of the world. They're the people that won't, they'll just see it for themselves, the looters, those kind of guys. And then there's the people that will go above and beyond for their fellow man.
And there'll be more of those, they think, than there will be the looters and the people who are in it for themselves. The looters and the people who are in it for themselves will slowly start to wean itself out because of the nature of their selfish ways. People won't stand for it. Yeah, it would go where the groups of people...
who are in communal which are more positive would strive for sure totally this movie stars so what i'm saying very quickly finish that very quickly what i'm saying is that maybe we need a spaceship to come down to bring everyone together
And we've got Atlas 3i coming down. Well, we don't know what it is. There's speculation it could be a ship. It's slowing down. Apparently it's released some frequency of sound.
which is strange and it's also maybe heading towards mars so who knows well we won't know until november what it really was really going on because
It's going behind the sun for almost the whole of October. And then November, we'll know a bit more about it. But it's exciting. I do read up on it every couple of days. I like it, but yeah. Rabbit hole. Don't get scared, people. You get a dangerous rabbit hole with it.
So top three actors in this, obviously Will Smith, Bill Pullman is probably my favourite in this. I've never liked Bill Pullman. Oh, what? I don't know why. I just don't like the guy. He's so, he just feels so...
safe i don't know i just don't know in my opinion that's why he's the president is but i just i've never really been a fan myself
Jeff Goldblum, hot off of Jurassic Park. Love Jeff Goldblum. You can't not love Jeff Goldblum. He's brilliant. And a couple of other people to mention. Randy Quaid. Yeah.
Randy Quaid is insanely good in this. Playing a fairly crazy person in this.
And in real life, him and his wife are conspiracy theorists and believe that aliens are coming to take us away. And he's going through loads of crazy stuff in real life. We've also got data.
from star trek the next generation shows up is brent spiner his name is he plays a crazy doctor in this yeah to be honest looking at it sorry no no that's uh and then we've got vivica fox
adam baldwin shows up briefly one of the lesser known of the bold yeah i was gonna say look at this now i was like this big ensemble of cars you look at it you're like well not really
The money went on the effects, really, because Will Smith wasn't really that big at this point. Jeff Goldblum. No. He's leading. No problem.
I got on here, James Duvall, who was the... He was the rabbit in Donnie Darko.
He was. And he was in a movie where in the background he's listening to hip-hop with his other gangster friend who's in Half Baked. And in the background, the song they're listening to is mine.
Ah there we go. That's my claim to fame.
and you've also got robert loggia in this as well who is an older old school actor and he is my favorite role of his ever was as tom hanks boss in big when tom hanks suddenly becomes a human an adult and gets a job in a
a toy office, his boss is Robert Doggier. Where Tom Hanks as the Toy Story toy turns into a real-life cowboy. Nightmare. That'd be quite matter, wouldn't it? Fucking nightmare fuel.
so that's who's in this not really not really anything special to be honest with you really it's really funny because you don't notice that because i think really the unsung cast in this is a the spaceship ensembles itself do you mean the whole Thing.
Yeah, people have come to this to watch the explosions and see the spaceships. And it's great. This film just has fucking scope. You messaged me after watching this going, that's a fucking great summer blockbuster. And I watched it almost twice in the same week because I was just like, first time writing notes is...
very hard for a movie like this you need to just sit and watch the film because it's got everything you want as an enjoyable it's It's got the cliched storylines, the three acts, everything which the human body resonates with perfectly to enjoy the thematic story of the movie.
it's got it all perfectly at no point I go oh that's annoying oh that's collegiate I don't care I'm watching it going yep that's great now they've got the spaceship oh they can drive the spaceship great they're going to go attack them it's
perfectly formulated well let's get this out of the way there's a couple of you know faults with it of course it's cheesy the script is clunky and cheesy at times there's some really big plot holes involving just coincidences where characters find other characters
in the middle of nowhere. And you're like, well, how would you just find them there? And also the people that survive the biggest giant, most biggest explosions you've ever seen. And the one character whose name is on 10th on the cast list happens to survive. You're like, what? But...
because of everything else in it it works and it pulls it all together yeah so so let's get into it we start with some epic transforming credits um we don't we don't we just cut the bullshit it just goes straight to independence day like straight away
There's no sort of starring Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans until it says the title. It's just straight in there with Independence Day. And both these films we're doing today are fairly hefty. This is two and a half hours, so I'm going to say that...
we probably don't linger too long on everything otherwise we'll be all night alright that's me getting told off no no no I'm just saying we need to like keep this one going because it's a lot goes on it's
boom boom boom boom which is quite impressive and you say straight away the title comes up and they're like we don't need to around this there's so much story we could put it sometimes when you're writing a film you get like the third the third acting it's where it goes a little limp
Because all your great ideas have already come up, and you're just trying to get to that end point, which is always quite hard, you know? And it comes to be boring. This fucking just rolls. Roll, roll. That's why I was trying to take notes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So...
uh this film takes place over about four days it starts on july 2nd we get a title card each time it's a new day and obviously july 4th is significant day for america so that's and the film was actually known as id4 independence day
um in post production in production because they didn't they didn't think that the title independence day would work doomsday was the title they were going to go with for quite a long time but they ended up calling it independence day doomsday
Probably still works, still be popular, I think. Well, the next Avengers movie is called Avengers Doomsday because it's Doctor Doom, so there we go. So we start off on the moon.
And we see the US flag on the moon. And then we see an Empire Strikes Back style shadow of something large.
over the moon the sounds of the moon vibrate and and there's something big happening the thing is though we all pretty much like dinosaurs fucking love shit about space we do i was up the other night in a fucking parking
like when it's getting dark trying to look for some big bloody red moon with the kids in the freezing cold because we just love space we just all love it we really do it's such a mystery we don't it's such a confusing thing and there's so many scales of people and
and non-religion and so many different things it's we all love it so much just so watching this i was just like yeah there's a moon a big spaceship shadow that's so fucking cool you know
And as always, with spoilers, you know, we are going to spoil this. But what I like as well is they keep the, the aliens are like those Russian dolls because we don't get to see the real alien for quite a long time. So we see a shadow. Then we see a cloud.
Then we see a ship, but then there's small ships within that ship.
and then there's smaller ships within those ships and then within those ships is an alien but then there's an alien within that alien because that turns out to be a bio suit so they keep revealing you the true alien all the way through and it does hide it quite nicely using that jewel
less is more sort of thing um you know so we do wait a while before we actually see what is happening you know i do like that they've done that and then we cut to rems the end of the world as we know it playing while somebody who works for seti
the search for extraterrestrial intelligence, which is a real government facility. He's sort of mucking around in his offices. It's nice, though, when you write the script and you go, and then on the radio you play, watch our song playing.
it's the end of the world rem but it's like just little touches and that's when watching that it's a lovely little just audible thing which doesn't it just you just
it's throw away like oh that's kind of funny but makes you go like oh why are they saying that the end of the world's coming and it's almost like a really good info dump to a story and it's just literally a song playing
But also quite, like, tongue-in-cheek and quite fun as well. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. It works on many levels. I'm still in that. Not that song. Well, the big alarm goes off. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. And the guy's like, oh, my God. He picks up the phone and calls his boss.
We've got a radio signal from space. We've got one! He says, where is it coming from? And they check, and the girl says, it's actually not coming from that far away. It's coming from the moon? We're getting a signal from the moon.
what the then we get a military briefing and they're discussing
This thing that we can track, this thing that's near the moon, the size of this thing is phenomenal. Is it a meteorite? I don't know. And this is like the Atlas 3i thing. Because they're all saying, what do we do? Do we blast it out of space?
be waiting until it gets closer and see what it is is it going to be a comet a meteorite or is it a ship and they're looking at each other like i don't really know what this is and somebody says it's not a meteorite what do you mean it's slowing down
And it's slowing down as it gets towards the earth. And then we get to meet President Pullman. Bill Pullman. President Pullman. He's got a nice ring to it. And he's a lovely guy. He's a good president. Not saying there's bad presidents. But there are.
um he's a good president he's got a wife he's got a daughter and he is quite a young president he used to be in the military and he's got a reputation people don't like him because they think he's too young
to be a president and he's too nice let's have him at 90 years instead you know yeah let's get a nice 18 year old one do you um atlas stands for you know if you're atlas is the asteroid terrestrial impact last
alert system oh the last alert system for an impact in asteroid there we go nice to just say no no anxiety people please well bill pullman
uh chats to his wife who's in another part of america they're looking after their daughter they're raising her right even though you know he's the president and she's the first lady and then suddenly he gets a phone call from the secretary of defense um who says
There's something in space and you're needed immediately, Mr. President. We see a satellite destroyed in space. That's not good, is it? That's not good. If you're the president and they say there's something in space, oh.
God, this is above my pay grade, possibly, because I don't know. Not really. If you're the president, you kind of... I know. You've got to be like, oh, this is when you go, oh, I could have just wrote the wrong thing on the application form here. I just wanted to play some golf.
I want to play golf and grab pussies. That's what I want to do. Like when George W. Bush was sat in that school.
um that's crazy that's it's really interesting like having that told him then to see him just like okay
I think it was The Hungry Caterpillar that was being read out at the time, and he was just like, oh, I'll just come around and see what the end of this book's like first. As he just goes, in his head. We also then meet...
Jeff Goldblum, who plays David, David Levinson, and his amazing dad. I also love his dad in this as well. And his dad's like a proper, typical old American New York.
Jewish person yeah and they're playing chess in the park sitting in the park playing chess absolutely they're very very clever both of them and Jeff Goldblum is obviously a genius as we'll come to find I do very much I've not I've not
been to new york and stuff but i whenever you see the movies it's a really nice summery day with trees and flat plainness people just sit there playing chess it seems quite nice yeah it's quite i've seen it i've seen it in the flash it's decent um it's decent
uh we also found that jeff goldblum is really a captain planet because he is all about recycling saving the planet he preaches to everybody in his office we must recycle these cans i want to save the planet come on guys yeah which is like if
For then, it was when people were like, oh, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, well. And obviously, he cycles everywhere as well to save.
the carbon footprint. So he cycles to his office. He happens to work in a TV station. He's very 2020, isn't he? I suppose, yeah. Apart from the COVID stuff.
He cycles to his office, which is a TV station, and he's told...
There's lots of weird TV interference going on here. Haven't you seen all this weird interference? All the channels seem to be like this. Almost like the satellites aren't around anymore. We can't understand what's going on. So we're building up this little dread.
just creeping in and you've had places here and there you've had tv static and shit just playing it's just it's it's
Yeah, it's like, I guess, the alien spaceship in this is the antagonist. This is basically our horror monster, essentially. And this is like it's sneakily coming in. It's the dread coming in. We then see a...
trailer that a family lives in and it's Randy Quaid's trailer and Randy Quaid is an old drunken pilot
who claims to have been in Vietnam and claims to have been abducted by aliens. But everybody in his town thinks he's just completely drunk and full. And they even tease him and say, oh, did they abuse you sexually?
and really wind him up. He's got a couple of kids and a few people that live with him in the trailer. The best thing is this, with this character, he's the cliched character. He is the...
uh the wall i can't remember the walton guy there's just so many abductees that have said that i've abducted it and people obviously have always poo-pooed them and laughed at them most of the time do you not mean that always has been done but i love this we don't even have that
build up to it at all which would have been nice for him to build up to this a little bit longer for him then all of a sudden the spaceships come down and everyone that does it just like mouth open it doesn't play out like that
But I do like the fact fairly early on in the movie, everyone that had dissed him would have been like, oh, fuck. He was right, you know.
Maybe he did get anally probed. So it's quite funny. He is definitely one of the comic reliefs in this and definitely one of my favorite characters in this. He is a crop duster. That's what he does since Vietnam. But because he's so drunk.
Yeah, as I say, Jeff Goldblum's also sort of has that comical relief, that kind of left-field comic relief. I feel like Jeff Goldblum has quirkiness.
He brings exactly what he brought in Jurassic Park. He brings Jeff Goldblum. Yeah. Yeah.
And Will Smith's funny in a Will Smith way where he delivers the one-liner, you know, after punching an alien and stuff like that. And going back to what you're saying, actually, Dennis Quaid is quite funny. Sorry, Randy Quaid in this is quite funny, you know.
There's a hilarious scene where we're really introduced to him where he's been paid to dust the field and he ends up dusting the wrong farm because he's so drunk. It's the wrong... His son says to him, what are you doing? I'm doing the dust cropping. It says it's the wrong fucking farm.
and his kids are just really disappointed and this goes back to fucking the badness of alcohol in general and the kids are just disappointed with him because he's an alcoholic and like how many kids are disappointed with their parents who are fucking alcoholics you know but there you go that's not
you know a lot of the guys that came back from Vietnam did go into substance abuse and alcoholism absolutely because they were fucking a lot of them you know forgotten about the same as it's always the same way I'm not getting into war but same
same thing you know always the same um we see a quick shot of smaller ships launching out of the mothership so this is the russian doll effect i'm talking about so smaller ships launch out and now we're in the oval office
And there's this frantic discussion around the White House desk. And the president's being told, look, there's three dozen ships out there, which is a lot. Yeah. And each one of these ships is 15 miles wide.
Okay, says President Pullman. That sounds bad. So there's about 36 ships and they're 15 miles wide each. Well, how far away are they? And somebody says, 25 minutes away. Oh boy, we don't have a lot of time here.
What did you possibly do if that happens? Did you see recently... Have a wank. Did you see they've just released the footage of them shooting a Hellfire missile into an alien spacecraft?
Yeah. And it just doesn't do a thing at all. It's crazy. And they can't understand what it is. They just can't understand what the hell it is. Don't shoot at it if you don't know what it is.
uh i don't know what this is shoot it are you sure we should shoot at things that we don't know what they are absolutely that's the probably the most sensible thing we could do
well at least in this movie they do try and say hello first of all um we'll get to that in a moment so yeah this frantic discussion is going on um so america the american government secretly is in high alert right now
And we have a quick shot of somewhere in Iraq where these crazy clouds are appearing in the sky. And this is appearing all over the world, it turns out. And we don't know what's in these clouds. It's not nope.
It's actually a secret cover for... You're making me think of a note then.
Yeah, it's a secret cover for these 15-mile spaceships. Another good spaceship film. It is. I absolutely love it. As a spaceship nerd myself, I like a good spaceship movie, and I remember watching that going, that's a good spaceship film.
Me and Alice have watched it twice now, and whenever we see a cloud in the sky that looks suspicious, she's like... do you think that yesterday right yesterday i'm just with uh sarah's at work and i'm with her daughter ren we're just like hanging out and all of a sudden you just hear
um what sounds like an airplane going by you could hear it coming like really like it's gonna break barrier speed where it's you can really hear this massive sound so it's oh i'm gonna go run outside and have a look and watch it go over and it's quite a cloudy day so i couldn't see anything
but the sound didn't go away the sound stayed then Ren comes out and she's like is that maybe it's circling it's like it can't circle at that speed because of the sound it's making
and it's like why is it so so for about a minute i went inside came back up with my phone and filmed it for a bit it's just for about a minute the sound stayed and it's like that doesn't make sense and it's a really cloudy day it's like is it is the clouds just gonna go and there's gonna be a fucking spaceship
Like, what the fuck? I'm going to shit myself and anxiety is going to go to number 11, not a spinal tap. It wasn't. The sound went, but that didn't make any sense why it was last for so long, you know?
They're out there, Gav. They're out there. They're watching us. I am one. We bounced to a US nuclear naval submarine who used their radar and they see a ship as well.
So these news reports are coming in now from everywhere, and it's all over the news now. And the worst thing for the president is, like, right, we need to tell the public something, don't we? The same with anything that happens. We've got to tell the public something.
yeah something something can't tell the truth because they shit themselves because well they don't even know what it is yeah um so the the clouds are now being uh reported on the various news
stations all around the world and everybody's starting to become aware of this now also just to state we kind of need to it is a film set in the late 90s internet was very early stages people had internet yeah but it was a dial-up connection meaning you couldn't use the phone on the phone
same phone line uh while it's going and people didn't have mobile phones like you do now so communication was a little bit slower it's the old school method so just keeping that in mind while discussing this
This was even earlier, because this would have been made in 95, came out in 96, so there weren't even mobile phones. Not many people had even mobile phones. Well, there was. There was mobile phones, but not many people had them. And there was the internet, but not many people had it. A few people.
That's why Jeff Goldblum at one point says, I'll call her on a portable phone because they didn't even call them cell phones or mobile phones because not many people have them. Only people in really high jobs have them. I set up my email address in 97, I think.
Bloody hell. Yeah. What was it? Gav69. It's the same email address I use now. I've never changed it. Mine is the same as well. Luckily I didn't come up with a fucking stupid name. I know.
I have to deal with customers sometimes. I have to deal with customers sometimes. You've got names they set up when they were 16, and I think, can you confirm your email address to me? And they're like, um...
Sarah Big Tits, 52. And you're like, yeah. And they always say, I set it up when I was 50. You think, yeah, maybe get a new one. Yeah.
So what do they do, the army? Let's fly some of the Air Force planes into the cloud and see what's in there. Good idea. Let's do that. It's like shooting a hail fire missile into a spaceship. So they fly in.
And they get torched. Literally, they fly in. I don't think that was a good idea, everybody.
There's just a wall of flames that hit them and they're just absolutely torched. Totally. So they're like, oh, this is no good. So they're like, all right, we need to probably evacuate you, get you somewhere safe, President. He's like, no, I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm a...
I'm Bill Pullman. I'm going to stay. He says, we'll send out the emergency public warning. And he asks one of his advisors, do you think they could be hostile? And his advisor says, who knows?
oh shit well exactly who does know nobody has any fucking knowledge of actual extraterrestrial activities or what it is because we don't know
So the White House gives a speech saying, look, we're aware of this, obviously. It's in all the skies around the world. Everybody stays safe. You might want to think about evacuating. We're not sure what this is. And obviously Jeff Goldblum's saying that on TV. So he's like, oh, it's interesting.
Randy's in his cafe, Randy Quaid, and this is where they're really gooting him about the alien abductions, asking him if they sexually molested him. And these are the guys I was thinking about. Aren't they going to be eating their hats, eh?
yeah they're really they're really mean to him and obviously he's just lonely little old drunk sat in the corner and they're really teasing him about it and the fact that he is pissed as well i don't think it's just the fact that he's getting ptsd from vietnam ptsd from being taken up another thing
could pop your ass from an alien. Well, maybe more than a finger, you don't know. Yeah, who sort of popped his ass?
An alien fist. And E.T.'s got very long fingers. All sorts is alien technology. They could have somehow figured out how to make that circumference huge. I could get an elephant in there. I don't know. But we do...
In this scene, the ship does arrive outside and those guys suddenly look at him like, oh shit, maybe he wasn't talking crazy after all. And the shadow is being cast over loads of cities now.
And Will Smith wakes up, butt naked in bed with his girl. We're all face slapping, motherfucking Smith. Um, we... Will sort of...
doesn't really see what's happening. It is quite amusing that he's just really half asleep going to the toilet and just doesn't know what's going on. Go to the toilet.
He grabs the newspaper off the lawn. This connection's bollocks. He's just literally going out of this girl. They've probably been together for a little bit, but it seems like real fast. Why didn't they just make him the husband?
Yeah, well, he was going to propose to her, wasn't he? So there's that kind of connection of rather than just be a husband, he's going to propose to her and become a good stepdad for the kid. I guess it's trying to make him look a good role model for the kid, but I thought it just...
But he should have just been husband and be done with it. You know, it seemed a bit silly. So he sees all the neighbours packing up their cars and he says to his soon-to-be fiancé, Hey, all your neighbours are leaving.
and uh then he suddenly sees what's on the tv and well then he sees what's outside well he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't really notice the tv he goes wandering outside he picks up the newspaper and looking around and what the fuck's going on then just
looks up forward to him he's like what the fuck and there's a spaceship in the horizon and president pullman says okay i need to address the nation right now honestly you know i tell you the only time i've ever experienced it
i'm grateful to say to be honest with you um and i was fortunate for some people and i hope none of our listeners have you know until i've really experienced that mass proper anxieties and like i don't know what's going to happen this is a worldwide thing was the night when
the night before we were getting locked down for COVID.
and i was up at sarah's and i had to drive back like i need to drive back to my morning this is getting locked down and it was the only time it's actually been proper scary like sarah cried we hugged it was like proper like oh my god this is a worldwide thing bigger than us which we have no control over because we don't know the
outcome so yeah that was a that was a crazy night boris johnson jumped on uk tv and said well you're all locked down from tomorrow yeah and i have to get back to do it yeah and we all got a letter didn't we from from the houses of parliament from boris johnson
sent to every single house in the uk i've kept that because the kids will want to see that when they start school well when they learn about that at school but but what i'm saying is that's the only time i've had that sort of mass proper anxiety and you imagine like being there then you look up and actually see a spaceship and
All of a sudden, after the first couple of seconds, you're probably going to go, that's not real. Your brain's going to go, that's not real. It's some sort of like fake. But then all of a sudden go, oh my God, look at the neighbours moving out and go, oh my God, that would...
be proper like i've lost appetite i've lost all appetite i don't i just i oh my god you know that'd be fucking it it really would i think i think even if you're mentally prepared that'd be
fucking hardcore so if it ever happens prepare yourself mentally training from tomorrow listeners so there's a trope that this movie uses which
which can be overused and can be cliche but they use the news to give us info dumps quite nicely yeah and again we cut back to the news that says so far we've got reports of 15 of these giant ships
stopping over capital cities and again doing the jaws thing they're just showing shadows here and they're just going over buildings at different buildings just a shadow go with the sound of like vibrations is the most simplest things do but perfect brilliant
Jeff Goldblum has been secretly working on the signal that they're getting from the mothership. And he seems to have broken the signal when he's realised that it's a countdown.
and it can't be something good if they're counting down to something. Happily, though, isn't it, his wife, ex-wife, well, still married, but I haven't actually saw that, is... linked to the president so he's got an inside line yeah so he knows that we've got six hours until
something bad is going to happen potentially something boom by the way just before all this when it has all started happening with all the shadows there's one thing which cements this again as a kind of like a blockbuster it was a classic sort of new york shot where we have in world war z stuff like where you have like this busy
centre town of cars were all just gridlocked and people running out of them screaming Godzilla again that sort of thing that's what those sort of things really make do you know what I mean brings home the scope of it more
yeah because you get everyone just gets out their cars to look up yeah and again crashing into each other it's not showing us still it's so well done in fact it's cheaper but better the cop that gets out of his car and then his car is hit by a bus
just missing him. He's the same guy that gets out of his car when Godzilla first emerges. It's the same actor. So Ronan Emmerich used him for the similar shot in Godzilla as well. Oh, wicked. So he's the guy that gets out of the car when something crazy is happening. That's his role.
um so bill pullman gives his white house speech it's really good he's great in this as i said i know you're not a big fan but he's great and as you said his pa one of his pas
really highly ranking secretaries is jeff goldblum's ex-wife so coincidence plot hole whatever it works it's the way it is i don't i don't dislike bill paulman i just he's just not really anything to me i have no really anything
Jeff Goldblum calls his ex-wife to try and say, we've got six hours until potentially the end of the world. She just hangs up on him. And because there wasn't really any... other ways of communication as you said gav he decides to take his dad and drive all the way to washington to
to speak to his wife in person and tell her about this i do like when he does that and he's like look out on the phone or where are you look out the window what am i looking at hi she's like oh no how did he figure this out because he's a clever bugger now
I like it when the president does his little thing on TV. Standing behind him, I dare if you notice this, because I'm very good at faces, I was like, there's fucking Bill's dad from Bill and Ted.
really was it and I'd like to say and like to think in my mind it's the same character and his day job is working with the president
I would really like to say that Bill and Ted is actually in here as well but just on the side and actually Bill and Ted are somewhere going oh dude there's an invasion man watch that on TV bogus bogus
That was another sad sequel, the third one of those. I think I watched it. I don't know. I watched it with my dad and we really wanted to like it. Because we loved the first two. But it's like now Spinal Tap 2's out at the moment. Oh, it's flopped hard.
It's flopping big time. Again, who's the audience for this? No. Well, we see some inserts now with looting, general riots, craziness, people packing, trying to get out of the cities.
he said in his speech evacuate los angeles evacuate new york he's basically saying evacuate these major cities and just head for the hills because we don't really know what this is going to be but it doesn't look good
Will Smith gets the call to duty and his fiance is very annoyed. And he's like, well, look, you knew what this was. You know what?
I'm a pilot and I've got to look after this country. You know, he's proper military. He's got to go to war, potentially. Like I said, Jeff Goldblum's grabbed his dad and they drive to the White House. And Randy...
says his family i guess it's time for us to pack up the camper van and drive and he actually ends up taking like a hundred camper vans with him full of families that probably all quite similar to him driving across the desert we'll see more of them
And then we cut to a strip club. That's not the music, but it could be. Vivica Fox is a stripper. Will Smith's partner in this. She is a stripper.
Really weird. Why?
I don't know. There's no reason for her to be a stripper. It doesn't. Can we go, well, sex work is good work and she's still a good person. Is this needed? We're watching a movie about an alien invasion. It's not needed. The character arc is not needed.
she could work out anywhere because because this scene all this scene does really is she's chatting to one of her colleagues um backstage after dancing and her colleague says so what do you think then do you think it's the end of the world or do you think do you want to come to this party
It could be any work colleague. Yeah, exactly. And the only thing is, she says later on, when she's chatting to the very important lady there, whoever she is,
at the fire when there was the first lady first lady okay yeah and she says oh what did you almost sort of dance and she says oh i'm sorry he says no it's okay that says sorry like i'm sorry that you have to do that
do you know what i mean it's like what what why we don't even need her in it doing this why are we bringing even this into our heads what you're not wasting conversation talking about it it's also like not a very
adult movie so they didn't even put any boobs in it or anything it's just completely weirdly pointless it makes no sense but the exposition we get is there are lots of parties going to be happening tonight because people think
A, this could be the end of the world, or B, they want to welcome the aliens with open arms. So there's a load of parties going to be kicking off tonight. So Jeff and his dad are right at the White House. Waking up at a hangover and looking around next to you and there's like an alien.
What the fuck happened last night? Don't you remember? You said you loved me. Look at this video. What have I done? How many tentacles have you got? You're pregnant. You're pregnant now, Gav.
Gav, you're pregnant now and you'll be laying eggs soon of my babies. You can have bum babies. So Jeff, like you said earlier, Jeff and his dad arrive at the White House.
And he calls his wife on a portable phone as he calls it, tells her to look out the window. There she is. The army says, we want to try to communicate with them.
So we're going to send out this big giant helicopter with these big flashing lights on it that sort of flash semaphore, you know, an international language that everyone should understand. Maybe an international, you know.
intergalactic language who knows so they try flashing these lights at this helicopter and the helicopter gets boomed
Exploded. Big time. Well, the president goes on, or somebody goes on at some point and says to the people, everybody, don't shoot guns at the spaceship. I love the fact that you have to tell some people who owns guns not to just...
randomly shoot because they they had to do the same thing well they did it the same thing is in new orleans when they had the uh flooding and people were stuck and they were needed help they were shooting at the helicopters the press helicopters because
were so pissed off which made the people not get emergency response quicker because they were scared to go in because they get shot at so it's counterintuitive so don't shoot at things
The same thing happened with all those drones or alien spaceships when they were in New Jersey. Don't shoot at the people, they were asking, yeah. But they did. It's quite a funny moment, actually. It's just a news reporter. He says, oh, and one other thing. The government have said, remind people, please don't shoot.
at the spaceships because people are like in their garden like get out of here it's just like the only way I can communicate and figure this out is by shooting at it No, Jeff Goldblum is dragged into the Oval Office to meet the president and his dad's with him.
He says, don't worry, I'm not going to punch him this time. And his dad's like, what? Who did you punch? And he said, oh, the president. He wasn't the president then. I thought he was having an affair with my wife, and that's why she wanted to leave me. So they don't like each other. There's bad blood between them.
which is cool uh but he speaks to him and he says look i've come here to tell you about a countdown there's literally 28 minutes left on this countdown now it's taking me fucking hours to get here yeah
And this is where the president says, evacuate the world, basically. Everybody evacuate. Essentially, Jeff Goldblum's figured out that they're using the satellites, which are up there, which we planted up in space, to...
relay a signal back and forth so basically it's a clock ticking away and the satellites are you know Surely if that was the case, though, could they not just... I know it'd fuck a lot of things up, but surely they could probably take out some of the key satellites, possibly, or move them.
Or something. Fuck it up. But they've got 28 minutes to do it, though. Oh, God, yeah. It's going to take fate. Oh, no, OK. Forget that. So in 28 minutes, simultaneously, using our satellites, these spaceships are going to do something. And it probably isn't going to be very good.
And like I say, that chopper has been exploded. So we know they definitely aren't here to do something nice because every time we've interacted with them so far, they've exploded our army. So, yeah, not great.
Nine minutes to go. The White House itself is finally evacuated. The whole city is in a frenzy.
The ship opens up and this is your trailer shot now. This was the shot on the t-shirt that I got given when I bought it as well of that beam of light coming down to the White House and just completely annihilating it. And this happens all over the world.
um every capital city in the world seems to have a ship above it and you can imagine the destruction and the destruction is big because this doesn't just blow up the building it blows up like a mile radius around that building as well killing thousands of people what's interesting though
when it comes down to it why are they the the spaceships obviously got such intelligence that they know that these buildings are particular ones that we need to take out but surely at the end of the day it doesn't matter we're all just ants it doesn't matter who's the queen ant or not
It literally doesn't matter, surely. You know? There's a really funny moment. It's funny for the action movie. One of those parties that's welcoming the aliens with open buttocks. I mean, open arms is...
um on top of a giant skyscraper and they're like yes he's out there's the ship's opening and they're all like whoa i'm gonna alien come to earth welcome to her and they obviously just completely including vivica fox's stripper friend
gets completely annihilated along with everything in about a mile radius it's quite funny because they thought they were all going to get something cool and they just got burned to a single crisp so that's that's your money shots that's your trader shots there
and we get these incredible um tidal waves uh the empire state building gets destroyed um air force one manages to just about avoid it because it's you know a movie and there's the coincidence of the flame of the explosion it's just behind it but air force one escapes
um vivica and her heroic dog and child also gonna have to mention the dog because he gets this epic michael bay style moment where they're in a tunnel it's so an explosion bad this please don't the cgi fire and explosion comes and this dog just go it's like what
It's the equivalent of Chary and Fat jumping through the air in slow motion or Will Smith in Bad Boys. That should be cut. There's no need for that shot. Getting nothing to the movie makes you go, this is bad.
i think the dog's called boomer and he avoids the flames and weirdly out of everybody in the mild vicinity everybody else is dead apart from viveka fox and her son and the dog again
plot hole coincidence cliche whatever i'm here for it it's great so yeah they they managed to um to survive and then we get our next title card july 3rd
So we get all the aftermath scenes. There's multiple casualties and deaths. Explosions, destruction. Most of LA is gone. Most of New York has been taken out.
randy is in his wagon and he listens it's a funny name randy isn't it it's a weird funny name randy it's obviously not his character's name but randy quaid is in his wagon listening to the radio and he can hear all about you know
all the destruction around the world and whether or not he was abducted by it is and on a tangent do you think his character really was or do you think what do you think do you think his character was making that art what do you think
This is solidifying that he did actually get anally probed or has he just got loads of PTSD norm stuff going on? No, no, no. I think it actually happened. Absolutely. I think that's what happened and he's always been that deemed that fucking nut job.
who has got PTSD from the war. But this goes to prove that he was probably probed because they come down to attack. So the president and his close allies are sort of...
feeling guilty that they didn't do anything sooner they couldn't have known of course until jeff goblin showed up with just 28 minutes to spare but
That's that. It is one of those things when a massive disaster goes and the president or whoever's leading all of a sudden has to make decisions for a split second. No one really knows the right decision to make.
like they always get blamed you should have done that if i get and it's like yeah i should have done but at the same time like we don't it's it's like right go we don't know what to do okay deal with it go for it don't jump in so like
Sometimes you don't know what is the correct thing to do. You're just going by... Well, that's why they've got these advisors, multiple advisors, haven't they? Yeah. But I don't know. He also gets the confirmation that, unfortunately...
The area that your wife was in no longer exists. So your wife is probably dead. He thinks she's dead, yeah. So it gives Big Willie Smith more...
fucking bite more fucking far in his ass to get up there and shoot them. Vivica Fox crawls out of the wreckage with her son and the dog and LA is completely gone. It looks like escape from LA. And they...
They wonder what they're going to do. Well, we're going to do a counterattack. So here we go, Gav. Let's fight back. Fight at Will. Will Smith.
Will Smith and Harry Connick Jr., who he didn't mention. The worst! Like, I wasn't sure. I messaged you saying, my God, this guy is the most...
boringest shit fucking double person to be with make him more interesting you're like harry kott juniors i think it is but like so like nothing he says is funny nothing he says is good or interesting he's he's completely forget
fool yeah douche he's all right i think he's all right he does some funny does nothing good um but they are yeah they're put in in the team that are going to go and try and attack
And the president observes all of the attacks happening on screen, of course, because he's in his bunker now. And like I say, far at Will, not Will Smith, like I said, but it's a cheap joke. And they find out that the spaceship has a force field, so shooting at it does fuck all. Yep.
there's some kind of protective shield and then they also find out that this isn't the smaller ship because suddenly more thousands of tiny ships fly out of this ship yeah
Absolutely tearing the US Army apart. Now, at one point, I think someone says, watch the dick, but I'm not sure. It did sound like he said, watch the dick. Seemed a weird thing to say, but maybe.
I should have washed my dick before I left this morning. Oh, washed a dick. I don't want to die with a dirty dick. I guess. But then... the aliens are also they know us and they start bombing the u.s military bases as well
which is terrifying this all looks really good the spaceship looks really good still like you look at these effects and it looks really decent better than some shit that comes out now
Yeah, and there's a good sound effect with the ship, isn't there? Like a whistle as it flies by. It just looks great. It's an extremely well-produced movie. What studio was it? I'm going to have a look.
Will Smith is really annoyed that most of his crew have been taken out. Even his douchebag friend. He ejects from his ship and floats down into the desert after taking out...
A really good dogfight, actually, with this ship that he sort of lures into a canyon. It's very sort of Tatooine-type stuff. But he manages to take out a ship which crashes nearby. He opens the ship.
and there's an alien in there 20th century folks there we go there's he opens the ship and there's an alien in there he punches it and he says welcome to earth
And then he says, that's what I call a close encounter. It's like so cheesy, but you know.
it's fine there's some really beautiful scenery here of him walking through this pale desert pulling along this massive parachute with the alien in it it's just really
Just a really cool looking scene, you know. Yeah, it was a salt lake, dried out salt lake. And apparently the line of him saying, and what the hell is that smell? He ad-libbed that because there was a terrible...
smell because apparently there's these little crustaceans that all live in the in the ground and they stink like really fishy stinky smell um and apparently everybody got really bad sunburn during this this set of scenes out there i'm not surprised it was really bouncing off the ground
people were covered up and still got sunburned up their trousers because the sun was reflecting up their trousers yeah yeah it's crazy it does look good for like i'm looking at a picture now look does look good for like silhouettes and just the fact you got
Got him all going along this massive scope of field, this really wide shot, and it's just him, and it all suddenly cuts, and it's just loads of RVs coming towards him, tons and tons, which just makes it look really cool as they start shooting past him.
yeah um that's right but before that air force one jeff is on air force one with his dad jeff goblum's air sick and they say well what can we do about what's our plan b nuclear
Yeah, let's use some nukes. And Jeff Corbin was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't just use nukes on this. Because if you do that, then all the other countries are going to do that. And then we're going to just wipe out the whole wide world. It's so fucking dumb. And then his dad says...
this is all you guys knew about this because you knew about this in the 50s with roswell and then i that was all
Bill Pullman's like, that was all nonsense, sir. None of that ever happened. And he's like, no, it's all real. And Area 51. And he says, there is no such thing as Area 51. Well, that's not exactly correct, sir. What do you mean?
I love this moment. I absolutely love this moment. Quickly, Vivica Fox grabs a big truck and she becomes like Rambo and saves a bunch of people driving along.
She's on her way somewhere with her son and dog. And she's got a truck full of survivors in the back. And she finds the first lady, the president's wife, who is the only person who survived.
the entire white house explosion god knows how but she is dying she's got a lot of blood loss so it's not looking good for her um yeah we talked about wheel dragging the alien we had that indian plane crash recently where there's one survivor
and everyone else died and he didn't really nothing wrong to come and walked away from it so like what the fuck it's like unbreakable isn't it yeah it's totally like that
So yeah, here we are. Randy Quaid and his convoy turn out and they take Will Smith. And he's like, why should we take you? And he goes, because I've seen the aliens. And he shows him he's got an alien in his parachute. And they're like, all right, come with us, son.
And then we're at era 51. The president is completely shocked that it exists. He can't believe it. And he's shown around. And Jeff Goldblum is like, I just can't believe it. I can't believe this is real. And they meet.
data brett spiner who is a crazy long-haired bearded madman of a scientist who
Apparently he hasn't seen daylight in years. He just works in Area 51. He even says at one point, they don't let us out much in here. This is quite amusing because he doesn't look that kind of crazy. Like we've seen...
we've all seen many many crazy looking people nowadays at 2025 do you know what I mean but um
I do like the fact that he comes out and they're like, we don't go out much. It's so cool. I smell the woman. Wow, okay. But also, he's got total...
boner because he works in area 51 no one knows about it and neither president is here and he gets to show his toys what he's been working on he's so enthusiastic
he's showing them around it's like going to um a nerd toy shop museum oh yeah yeah and they're like look at this he says like oh do you want to see the roswell ship come on and everything he's revealing to them the president's just more and more blown away because he's like yeah
i'm betrayed i'm the president and i don't know about this so he shows on the roswell ship which they found in the 50s and they show them how they've tried to reverse engineer it and they can't open it but but you know they can't figure it out but
they've they've learned loads from it but not a lot because it's really hard to figure out and reverse engineer it all and then he says
Do you want to see the alien bodies? And Jeff Goldblum starts like, I knew you had alien bodies here. But before we do that, they do say like the spaceship itself of past few days has just been coming a bit more active than it ever has done before.
Yeah, he said the most exciting thing that happened since the 50s was two days ago when that signal started coming in. The spaceship woke up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Yeah, so he shows him some big-headed aliens. Yeah, he says...
these are the three recovered from the roswell site one of them survived two of them were dead on impact one of them survived for a few days and they look like the greys basically they're like a slight version of the gray aren't they and he says
However, they were wearing biomechanical suits, which we could cut them out of, you know. So this is what they actually look like. They're quite small. There's no mouth.
So we wonder if they communicate with ESP or some other form of communication we don't know about. But we'll never know because they're all dead. But we keep them here. And I like to call this place The Freak Show. And they were just looking at him like, you like this a bit too much.
you left alone with these alien bodies at times what do you do you weirdo randy's trailer convoy shows up at area 51 so huge huge convoy rednecks and trailer shows up at area 51 but what do they do
They let him in because Will Smith's got a body, an alien body. It's a bit cheesy. He goes, I can't let you in. He says, oh, OK, come here.
Wiggles his finger over to him. Look at that. It's a bit of a cheesy scene. There's your goddamn clearance. Will Smith chews the scenery here. And again, Data is...
Cannot believe his luck, because not only is the president visiting today and the aliens are invading, Will Smith has brought him a live alien. And he's like, this is amazing. This is the best alien. Oh, my God.
so they bring the alien in and they say they've got it looks like we've got 36 hours they work out you know if they can do that what they've just done
in about 36 hours they'll just they can exterminate the entire population of the planet um and it looks like that's what they want to do potentially they're moving from planet to planet
just wiping them out and taking their resources and that kind of stuff. Apparently there were some deleted scenes where you would see the aliens drilling down into the core of the earth to extract like some of our fossil fuels and our oils and stuff.
So they come and they just drain us dry, wipe out every bit of life, and then move on to the next planet. Not very nice, aren't they? Yeah. An IET. We kind of... slightly midpoint-ish with a movie here where we have Will's girlfriend chatting to the...
first lady etc and it is it comes a little bit boring here um because i think we've just been too much setting luxury with everything we've had
before this but it's okay because it gets back up again we have the alien on the operating table now you'd think you'd think if you've got an alien operating table you'd have it handcuffed down or something and have people
standing around it at all angles with guns at its head no they just just start cutting into it but it's just unconscious surely it's going to wake up when it feels the pain but it's not feeling the pain no that's true but
doesn't matter it still does wake up and fucking put a horrible frequency into the nerd's head yeah so data it knows about the biomechanical suits he studied them for years so he knows how to cut the suit off of this ending so we as an audience like
Is he cutting up this alien? But instead, he's opening the suit up, a couple of jump scares here and there, and there's a little alien inside it. And it's like, have some guards with guns. Have something.
like it seems the really most like oh we forgot about security on this don't worry about it have lunch we've got this alien which we've never ever had ever it's fine
The alien puts its suit back on and it's got these dreadlock tentacle things that come off the back of it as well. It's pretty cool. And it kills everyone in the room. This scene is really horror. It's a proper horror scene.
Yeah, because Bill Pullman sort of goes up to the glass and Brent Spiner slams against the glass with blood all over his face. Do you think Bill Pullman's like, I think we should have probably had G-Shakuri in there with the alien, maybe? Maybe? He doesn't say that. He doesn't.
The alien starts talking to them using Brett Spiner as a puppet. This is disturbing.
it is he says no peace what can we is there any inter any transaction i can offer you that will bring peace between us and you and the alien says no peace and then he says what do you want from us and he just says die
and that's it and then goes all scanners goes all scanners on the president's head and starts going so they shoot it and kill it there's literally no argument now these aliens definitely are not good no they've tried three times and yeah yeah what do you want i just want you to die
It's just they had to do this fucking net logic of not having a security guard there to get over this whole scene to bring this on. But it's a really cool badass scene because the president says to his body...
is that glass bulletproof? And he says, absolutely not, sir. And they just smash the glass and they empty all of their guns into this alien and kill it. And even a final headshot from Adam Baldwin just to take it out a little bit more.
and will smith says i'm just gonna steal this helicopter and he's like if if you try and steal that helicopter i'm gonna shoot you because you're not gonna shoot me and he's gonna go and try and vivica fox because
That's what Will Smith does in this film. He just goes to Friday's stripper, fiancé. That's what you do. So he steals the helicopter. Meanwhile, the American army are using a stealth bomber.
to approach the big ship and they are firing a nuke at it yep and they fire a nuke and it goes boom and they can't see anything on camera i think we've destroyed the target sir
I need confirmation. I need visual confirmation. And after about a minute of agonizing, searching radars, they go, no, no, it didn't do anything. Did literally nothing to it.
the target is not destroyed. So even nukes won't defeat them. No. Biggest plot hole coming up now in the next scene. Will Smith lands his helicopter right next to Vivica Fox.
who just happens to be with bill pullman's wife as well what in all of america where all these explosions and aliens are these three characters can find each other yeah okay but you know what
okay so bill is reunited with his wife however gav it's quite sad actually and well written they say to her they say they say to him she's not going to be with us for much longer sir
it's a weird thing to put in here to add this drama in here i know obviously it brings a bit more humanity and drama but it's a strange one to drop in it doesn't
really change the course of any events he's still got to do what he does i think it does it shows us that not major characters but major characters partners can be killed off you know the stakes are quite high so the little the president's daughter goes in and hugs mummy
and then they go outside and then there's this really sad moment where she says he says he says is mommy okay and he's like i think mommy's gonna be sleeping now and she's like yeah mommy's gonna sleep now and it's like oh my god this is horrible like
The poor little girls now only got one parent. These goddamn aliens. More fuel for Will Smith's fire. That's what it is. So, another title card. July 4th, Independence Day is here.
Jeff Goldblum gets hammered in Area 51. And his dad's having a go at him saying, put yourself together, Jeff Goldblum. Jesus Christ. You know, you were the same when you were a kid. You know, you get a cold, da-da-da-da, and then he suddenly tweets.
Twix a virus I need to give them a virus I'm a computer whiz I can give them a virus so they bring Will Smith
and the president and everybody into the room and jeff goblum gives this great explanation of his plan which is basically him and will smith are going to get because he's worked out how to get around the force field
Him and Will Smith are going to use the same trick, which is a computer virus, to break down the force field of the mothership, fly in using the Roswell ship, the original ship.
Land in the mothership. Now, Will Smith's never flown a spaceship, and I presume that Michelle Corblum's never been to space. However, they're going to fly this spaceship into the mothership, then upload...
a computer virus and you kind of think that the computers like might be more advanced but then again computer code is something which has been going on for many years apparently if you take dmt and shine a laser pointer at a wall and go up close to it you can see
code like the matrix yeah i'm not taking dnt yeah just i'm not gonna take but yeah i love the fact that they're just winging this but then again
I guess. So the plan is to do that. I guess that's what you've got to do. Then what happens? He says, well, then we'll have about 30 seconds to get back out of the mothership before the US Army completely annihilates the mothership and all the other ships.
Okay, let's do it. So that's your plan. So we've got the weirdest buddy cop movie going on. Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum. Imagine that. New Lethal Weapon movie.
It would be Will Smith saying things that Will Smith always says, like, now that's what I'm talking about. And then it would just be Jeff Corbin going, hmm, yeah, now that's what I'm talking about.
The whole world, very patronising now for anyone who's not American, the whole other rest of the armies of the world are trapped in the desert with no communications. And particularly the British, they're all drinking tea.
in the desert, and they go, oh, bloody hell, the Americans are going to try and take them out. Bloody hell, those damn yanks, they know what they're doing, don't they? Good on them.
We're ready to move with the drop of a hat. Just say the word, America, and we'll join you and help you. Frederick, I see you have bad teeth. Yes, Lionel, I have bad teeth. So do you. Yes, we are British.
Let's kick a football around again a little bit more. Fish and chips by the beach, sir. Yes. What's your favourite Beatles song?
But anyway, it is what it is. I think I've said it's four. I met a lady once while I was in America in a hotel room. And then she went back to New Orleans. And I gave her a ring the next day to see if she got back all right. And her dad...
answer the phone and I can hear him saying there's a beetle on the phone for you
Liverpool. I have no... My accent is not a Liverpoolan in the slightest. I know. But, you know, the same with us. We can't really differentiate between a lot of American accents quite easily. I could go down south to fucking not down south.
Do you know what I mean? Liverpool then to me, I'm more London, if anything. Well, when I was in New York with Rob and Dave in a month after 9-11, as you know, we went there, not to...
look at it we just happened to have a holiday booked that took place and not a month after that happened um but we did see it of course because we were in new york we went to grain zero it was crazy but um we got asked if we were australian
We got asked if we were Scottish. And we got asked. I was very drunk. And I was in the taxi. And he said, so are you guys German?
And I stuck my head with the guy and said, German? Do you know how fucking offensive that is to an English man? And my friends were like, shut up, Dan. But yeah, we got asked. And it's the same in Australia. People thought I was Scottish.
You know, I guess if you don't hear the accent, you know kind of roughly where it's from. I guess. But there we go. Anyway, I don't know how we got onto all that.
so loads of because you're saying about different countries so those different countries are on board now with what's going on so basically this is the counter-attack
Yeah, this is the counter-attack. So it's all down to Will Smith and Jelford Goblin. It's all down to the Fresh Prince and the Fly to see if they can...
He'd be better off turning into Brundlefly. Fucking eat them all. Brundlefly and Fresh Prince dressed up in his multi-coloured hyper-techno Fresh Prince 90s clothing. With his hat on sideways. With Brundlefly next to him in the...
Oh, my God, please make this movie. I'd love to see it. He'd be like, hey, yo, man, you want one of these donuts? And he'd be like, yes. Puking all over it. Yo, that is gross, man.
Let's do a beatbox. Now, just before they go up into space, there's a few things that happen. Randy Quaid volunteers.
So it's almost like that scene where they get the Marines together and aliens. They get a ragtag bunch together.
How desperate is it that we take the fucking pissed person? He looks fucking drunk out of his face. He's trying to put coffee in him. He's obviously drunk. Why are you giving him a spaceship to get into? Surely...
Surely that's not good. Still, that can't be good. What if he just flies into all of our guys? What qualifications have you got? And he goes, sir, I was in Vietnam, served for whatever. And then he says, and...
Those bastards took me up and probed me when I, you know, a few years, and they're just looking at each other like, he's all we've got. So they go, yeah, all right, go on, and there you go, here's the keys. Here's the keys to a million pound, you know, a million dollar.
airplane i guess it's the end of the world fuck it we ain't got a choice have we will smith says let's get married to vivica fox fuck it never might never see you again this could be the shortest marriage ever so they get married
Jeff is a witness, Jeff Goldblum. I see no reason why these two shouldn't be married. President does a speech.
Present as a speech an amazing speech incredible speech an iconic Trump's speech should be like
Absolutely not. A lot of people like me. They say I'm the best. They've got special weapons.
Big special weapons. Some of the best. Some of the best weapons. But we are the best. 99% of everybody says we are the best. Hands down. I've heard talk that these aliens are racist. Very racist.
Some of the worst racists. And they're eating dogs and cats. Grab her by the pussy. Amazing. Amazing that he said that. And yet here he is in the White House.
so um so jeff uh oh yeah bill pullman says i'm getting in a plane as well like sir
Okay. I fought in whatever war it was. We've come up with an idea. We're going to build a massive wall in space. It's going to be the best war. The very best war. And the aliens...
are gonna pay for it they're gonna build it and they're gonna pay and they're gonna pay for it we've had negotiations and it's starting now it started yesterday
Mr. Trump. I love the fact that now we live in this world where it's literally like a comedy sketch. The whole of it, everything, everything, every country. It's so weird.
Bill Pullman would be a much better president. He would. Donald Trump wouldn't get in an F-16 fighter jet and say, I'm joining you guys because I know how to fly. He'd be like, Donald Trump would just be like, I'm going to go play golf in Scotland for a bit.
tell me when the spaceships have been dealt with some of the best um so the unfortunately when they take off in the ship this alerts the aliens
who are only 26 minutes away from attacking Area 51. So we've got a time limit now. Will Smith struggles to fly the ship. Obviously he puts it in reverse comically.
and then he goes forward and there's some comedy moments between him and jeff goldblum like you said it's a bit of a buddy cop thing and as they get closer to the mothership the controls turn off
and jeff goblum says ah i thought this might happen and he's like what what what might happen god damn and he says they're pulling us in with a tractor beam so they pull them in it's like you know yeah
So they pull them into the ship, and as they enter the ship, it's like another planet inside. It's huge, because it's the mothership. And inside this mothership are like 50, 15 mile...
Spaceships. Wide ships. So it's huge. And they go inside and there's millions of aliens ready to go to war. Millions of ships. Jeff's like, we need to shut this window. Let's shut the curtains. Shut the blinds.
he says he says to him oh my god that alien's gonna see us any minute and jeff goldman says all right shut the curtains so they've got like a shield that they pull us pull across and they dock they land in there and jeff says right i'm going to upload the virus now
So he starts uploading the virus using his really old school laptop. It's about a foot thick. Click, click, click, click, click.
the first ever windows i just i just feel the technology would they'd be looking again what is this ancient this is like an old compass we found in the ground or something like compared to like the technology we have now what is this the aliens be doing like you know i don't feel like it
but we forgive it because it was mid-90s you know i mean like there's i've got a nostalgia for that time when technology was there but not
it didn't rule our lives no no no of course and but like i'm saying though computer code is generally the same throughout those numbers zeros and ones do you know i mean it's made up of so it could be translated for
and they can see back on the ground that he's uploading the virus and oh it's oh my god they're in and they're uploading the virus everybody get pilots get ready to attack so bill is like luke skywalker leading them all it's basically it's star wars because the shield's still up the shield's still up there's like go for it
go for it. Like, you know, it's very much Star Wars. Use the force, President Pullman. Use the force, President Trump. I use the force. I'm the very best Jedi. I've used the force. Let everyone know. Use the force.
I've heard that he is a Sith. A very bad man. A racist man. They're all racist eating dogs and cats. They're eating Jabba the Hutt. I even hear they eat Wookiees.
that very nice people um so a firefight begins um and because all the aliens launch out of the the ships the little ships come out again and you know and we start looks like we're winning we're taking them out
It's pretty good. Some good manoeuvres. Some great. Do you want to know an interesting fact about this film? It's always like it ran my nights already to me. Every single aeroplane in this film, apart from Randy Quaid's crop duster, doesn't exist.
Every single aeroplane in this film is a CGI effect. The only film that was real in this whole, the only plane that was real is Randy Quaid's Quat Duster. The rest of the film, the helicopters are real, but every plane and obviously every spaceship.
are not real i'm sure that's where the money was going yeah because i'm shocked at how good the effects are and they still hold up today i've got i've got a bit because obviously president's up there isn't he i've got a bit where um it should say president doesn't have a shot but my eye
iPad always changed it to shit so president does another shit and it goes into craft some people say I do the very biggest shit very orange
So Will struggles then to disconnect the ship from the mothership. He can't seem to, you know, uncuff it.
and basically the alien that's in charge of the docking bay of the spaceship Bob his name is Bob he's just sitting there going what's going on with fucking 0210 over there what the fuck's wrong with it
Is he trying to back up eggs? What the hell? I'll press the button to override the curtains a minute. Yeah. Oh, it's humans. Oh, it's Jeff Goldblum and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. What are they doing in there? It's the fly and the Fresh Prince.
Will's like, I'll distract him. Puke into your hands. I'll be boxed. Quick, throw your penis at him. The penis in the jar. Throw it at him.
I'd love to see that. Again, with AI, we'll be able to see that at some point soon. So the ship begins to fire its big, big laser. We know what that big, big laser does.
and the army have run out of missiles it's okay because han solo i mean randy is gonna fly in to save the day like han solo at the end of star wars which i've only just realized now they say
Well, it's actually Lando Calrissian you're thinking of. Oh, it is. Yeah. Sorry to be a Star Wars nerd. No, no, no, no, it's not. It's Han in the first one. Oh, okay. Lando's in Empire. Okay. Well, yeah.
either or it's that last man because they're like well we got nothing left sir mr president we're gonna all have to just retreat and then suddenly out of nowhere and he's like he's like sorry i'm late boys
I had a few things going on. And then he...
He can disengage his missile, but he's got the only remaining missile. So he realizes he's going to have to kamikaze this and fly into the mothership to explode his missile. He looks at his picture of his kids. Side note.
complete different tangent very quickly because i was thinking about super edits just then that hostile 2 works well better with my taken idea and doing a mega
Movie mix. Now I'm thinking if I could take some parts from Taken 2 and Taken 3, just certain scenes, to make it a bit more grimy, I reckon I could get Hostel 2 and take them as a...
edited film together with lee news and going after his daughter you could do so many of these you could do like john matrix
And his daughter's the one in the hostel. But it works though, because he goes over to Europe and he catches a plane over there, so it would work. You could do it.
This is your challenge, Gav. I know. I want to make this movie. By 2027, I want you to have edited that together by 2027. I'll write a note. Because I'll be watching this. I don't know what it'd be called.
I'll come up with a good title for it. Taken to the Hostel. That sounds like an album. Is that by alien cult worshippers or whatever it was you said? Sex. Cult. Def.
Death Cult. Alien Death Cult. Alien Death Cult's new album. What's it called? Take Me to the Hostel. Take Me to the Hostel. Sounds like a rave song from the 90s. It's terrible. I'll make the movie a lot better than the name. Carry on.
Anyway, Randy Quaid looks at the picture of his kids on his cockpit shelf and thinks, I'm going to have to say goodbye. So he says to the radio, tell my children I love them.
and they're like oh my god and his son's down there listening to all of this happen and his son's like proud but also oh my god i'm losing my dad now
And he flies into the ship and he says, Hi, boys. I'm back. You went up my ass. I'm going to go right up yours. In an Al Pacino voice.
If he'd have said that instead, that would make this even better. This is what I call a probe! Now I'm probing you! Again in Al Pacino voice. And he explodes the ship.
um the massive explosion obviously and will and jeff just managed to get out of there just in time they land in the desert um they have a cigar
oh no they sorry they like they start lighting the cigars on the ship because they think they're going to die um but they managed to get free and they got 30 seconds to get out of the explosion before they're toast they managed to um they race to the exit
And there's just a huge bunch of explosions. He says it's Jurassic Park. I never, ever, ever clocked it before. But when they're trying to escape the ship, he says to Will Smith, must go faster, must go faster. Which is exactly what he says when the T-Rex is chasing him.
And then everyone cheers. They think that Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum are dead.
uh everyone on earth is excited it's almost like the ewok celebrations there's a lot of star wars references here because all around the world we've got all these different people chanting and shouting and singing and it's like all the ewoks celebrating when the final death star got taken out but there's no ewoks
and there's downships everywhere crashing into the planet so this is going to be a bit of a tidy up job isn't it when this is all done and dusty if these spaceships are 15 miles wide they land in the sea that's quite a big tsunami yeah
But anyway, there's no word from the Fresh Prince and Brundlefly. But we see them in the desert with cigars walking along.
Will Smith says, we did it. And he says, yeah, I always wanted to save the world and I guess I finally did. And they walk heroically through the desert. Now, Will Smith is six foot two. Jeff Goldblum is six foot seven, I think.
fucking hell so so they had to get will smith to stand two paces in front
So when you see that shot of them walking heroically, Will Smith's actually two paces in front of Jeff Goldblum to make it look like they're the same height. But clever use of camera angles.
and everyone sees them everyone finds them it's a very feel-good ending and at the end the little girl says to the president her dad happy 4th of july daddy even though my mum died today happy 4th of july daddy
i love the fireworks and the ships explode all around the world and it's like fireworks for the whole world independence day for the whole wide world and that's the end
And it's a brilliant film. It's a real feel-good film. That's a good movie. And it leaves you on a real like, yeah, we won. Because a lot of the times we see, and there have been some dark elements in this, you know, the wife dying and a few other things.
randy quaid but he died heroically but overall it does pump you up and it that's what i think that's what it's for particularly if you're american i think uh it's a thumbs up it's a pump up for me
it's a pump up for me one factoid i forgot to give you when he gave his speech at the air force and said today is our independence day quite a lot of people in that were just random
us air force and other extras that didn't really they were just told to stand there and they actually thought some of them thought it was a real speech so that's why everyone and they were most of them were so blown away because they'd never heard that speech before that cheering
They didn't have that planned, but they kept it the film because Bill Fullman gave such an amazing speech that the crowd went wild. He didn't give it a speech. He read the script and memorised it.
no he didn't just read it he performed it incredibly well okay it's one thing to like read a script isn't it but to be able to do that i always think some of the harder scenes must be when you're speaking to like 100 200 a thousand people even though it's a film
set you know like think of dicaprio when he's in the office in war for wall street and he's chatting he's shouting to like 100 200 people in an office it's not the confidence must be insane that you've got and the cocaine
you know but yeah it's a thumbs up guys Independence Day it's an old school 1996 classic it's a thumbs up it's a good science fiction disaster feature type sort of thing not disaster but science fiction drama action
thriller. On a side note, one of the producers saying that the most coked out film set that they've ever been on, ever,
back in the day when it was like a thing, was apparently Popeye the Sailor Man. Robin Williams. I've never seen the movie. Apparently it's the most coked up film. And I was thinking maybe we should cover it just for the hell of it because it's supposed to be the most coked up film ever.
Well, you'd have to do that with Maximum Overdrive, wouldn't you? Because I should imagine that set was... Oh, yeah, cocaine. Both fuelled off cocaine. Wasn't Charlie Sheen in that, or was it Medio Estevez? Medio. Still cocaine.
um right we need to because this is gonna be a long one we need to get on to your world of the strings that's right yeah bill murray's coming in
Well, of course, Bill Murray's over here translating it. So Bill Murray's in his E.T. outfit, and I think he's got one of the wrong fingers in the wrong place. That's literally what I'm about to say. That should not be there, Bill. Even though the end is lighting up in red, and it does look very inviting.
I feel like a bug going towards a bright light. Yeah. But I don't want to. I called him Will then. It'd be great if Will Smith was doing World of the Strange, but Bill. William Murray.
take us into world of the strange you sexy alien hi welcome back to world of the strange
of the strange world. Strange world. Hey yo, it's the Fresh Prince. What a strange. Yeah. So.
Our next movie we're going to cover is obviously Godzilla, which is a radioactively mutated creature that grows to an enormous size and destroys things. So I figured...
what better thing to do for order the strange than to talk about some real life mutations in animals because everyone loves that we all see we've all seen the three-eyed fish in the simpsons probably got a name
you know what it's about actually i think lisa had it as a goldfish for a bit in a pot maybe i don't know i can't remember of course she did um
so i'll start off quite nice and fluffy in fact it's not it doesn't get too horrible this world of the strange it's quite nice but um here's some strange i'll start off with mutations and then i'll move on to something called gigantism
in animals which is more in line with godzilla so animals have evolved over many many many generations many many multiple millions of years and there's mutations along the way in some of their dna
so i'll start off by talking about some of those strange mutations and they're all quite nice and fluffy a lot of these so first of all i'll start off with a strange animal called the axolotl which i'm sure everybody has seen or heard of my son loves axolotls
I was going to say, didn't one of your children want one as a pet once? My son wants one as a bit. I knew somebody did. There we go. So it's kind of like a little salamander type thing. They're so cute.
Over the last few thousand years they've mutated to be able to regenerate any of their limbs, their heart.
their hearts, Gav. They can regenerate their organs, their heart, their brain, parts of their brain, an eye. Wow. And obviously scientists are now like, firstly, when did this mutation start? And secondly,
we need to replicate this in humans because if we can start injecting ourselves with axolosal dna you know i could lose an arm and grow one back in a few weeks like deadpool so
it's really weird and scientists a lot of these ones i'll be going through they don't have an answer for they're just weird mutations um but yeah that isn't a new thing that sorry that isn't an old thing i didn't sorry that isn't
Yeah, that's a relatively new thing for the axolotl to be able to... They can even regenerate their spinal cord. Fuck. So imagine if we could do that. Yeah. There's been a mutation in cats over the last hundred or so years.
some cats are being born polydactyl what's that i mean they've got a sixth toe really yeah
If you type in polydactyl cats, in fact, I know someone who's got a polydactyl cat, someone I work with, and it looks like, almost like a hand. Very strange.
So maybe cats are sort of mutating so that in time they'll be able to have, you know, opposable thumbs and they'll be able to really fuck us up a bit. Because cats like fucking us up anyway, don't they? And I love cats. Yeah, but if cats are big enough, they'll just eat us, wouldn't they?
If a cat could use a keyboard or, you know, open a door. Play songs, yeah. That's where your mind went. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Be famous on YouTube. Yeah.
Some cats have even got seven toes on each foot. But people, the scientists don't know where this weird mutation has come from. And again, humans have evolved and mutated over the years.
obviously millions of years so maybe we're just witnessing some of these types of mutation potentially because we're studying animals so much we weren't studying animals 500 years ago as much as we all know
An interesting fact that I didn't know about was around a mule, M-U-L-E, the type of horse. So a mule is a type, is a...
male donkey and a female horse their baby is called a mule and mules have a weird mutation which means they take all of the best bits of a donkey and a horse and that means they've got a horse's speed
a horse's endurance but the strength of a donkey that's weird isn't it so it's only ever when it's the male donkey and the female horse and that's where you get a mule uh but they are born
So nature stops them from being able to have any further children themselves. But it means that mules are really strong, can work really hard for really long hours, and are really fast as well.
Isn't that weird? I don't know why. That just sort of really interested me when I read that. Yeah, strange. The best of both worlds. Throw a zebra in there as well. Throw a zebra in there. What would a zebra do?
Just look good. Just got the stripes. Style. Zebra's the most stylish of the kind of horse world, isn't it? Let's incorporate a zebra now. Why? We want a stylish animal. Okay.
Maybe chuck a bit of rhino in there to get a horn and you've got yourself a unicorn. Yeah. You know? Unicorn. Unicorn. Okay. Anything else? No.
I went to a Pride thing the other day where we were making flags. I was sitting there with some people making the Pride flag. Because my kids were going to Pride the weekend just gone. And I was like, yeah, I'll come down.
I was like, I don't know what to draw. So I drew a unicorn in a rainbow. I'll send it to you. I might even get a print off on a t-shirt. My daughter has literally what you sent me in that picture. Pretty much has that on her pyjamas. Oh, I sent the picture to you, didn't I?
yeah yeah she's for christmas we got i mean santa got her pajamas with the rainbows and unicorns all over them and it's pretty much like your drawing really i think though because it's my drawing it's a little bit special i think that looked good on a t-shirt yeah i want one
podcast on haunted hill t-shirts and that's our fucking hell that's to show our unison with the lgbtqa plus community love it and it's got to be a pink t-shirt love it
my ex-wife's like right well you only design on paper now you got to put it all actually on a flag because i'm not doing this again on the flag that's it done well another mutation moving back to that is
monarch butterflies now the monarch butterflies are very pretty you'd know it if you saw it it's red with like black markings on it one of the most common butterflies you see in the uk however over the years monarch butterflies have become
Well, some of them have become poisonous. Oh, really? Yes. So some of them are developing the ability to have a high level of poison in their bodies, which makes them incredibly toxic to predators. So it wouldn't really affect us.
But, you know, something that would eat them, like a spider might try and eat one. Firstly, the reason they're brightly coloured is to try and warn off predators. But secondly, if someone tries to have a munch on them...
they're going to die because there's toxins in them, which will sort of melt the stomach of the things that want to eat a butterfly. And that's a new thing. That's a mutation in butterflies. So next time you see a lovely monarch butterfly...
fluttering past you don't touch it no last one on the back and go for a fly with it actually got a couple more on this list one of them is a new species of mushroom a mutation has been discovered called a foxfire mushroom heard of them no but i do love mushrooms and the power of mushrooms
No. This type of mushroom, its mutation means it glows in the dark. What happens when you take it?
Fuck me. I don't know. When you go for a poop at night time, you don't need to turn the light on. Maybe you can see in the dark. You look like, what's his name from Ghostbusters 2 and his eyes light up. He goes, the giant. Yeah.
But yeah, they've developed a mutation in their chemical composition, which means that they now glow in the dark, they're bioluminescent, and they call them the foxfire mushroom. And again, scientists are trying to understand how this organism has done this, because apparently mushrooms are...
quite closely related to us yeah uh strange the origin of mushrooms are really comfortable if you look into the history of it and i i now
you know take lines very mushroom supplement every day and i have to take it because i found out when i don't take it the chemicals in my brain don't make me very happy i myself have been taking it for about six months every day yeah um
Yeah, it's a fantastic thing. Yeah, it's really good. Jellyfish, which are scary at the best of times. Jellyfish have evolved. Some jellyfish have evolved.
Like the lion's mane jellyfish. And a mutation means that some of them have 100 foot long poisonous tentacles. Fucking hell. 100 foot long.
The ocean is big.
it means that they can sit in the same spot or float in the same spot and they've got wider scope yeah just grab anything and then it will die and then they'll move over slowly because they're quite slow they just bob over to it while it's dying and then they'll sort of melt it into it oh
Imagine that. It's hardcore. But imagine, because they don't travel on their own a lot of the time. The ocean's weird. It is. The ocean is weird. And that...
kind of it for my mutation side of things so i'll move on to um gigantism now and i'm pretty sure you can guess what gigantism is is it when they're really small exactly that well done
So animal gigantism or island gigantism is something that happens when a population of an animal is restricted to a small island.
And they can become incredibly big because they don't interact with anything else. So they've got no sense of what size they need to be in the food chain. Do you know what I mean? So I've got a few examples of some pretty scary...
giant animals there's a type of rat in indonesia which is 1.2 meters long that's four feet long in indonesia and it's called the flores giant rat on an island and this rat there's a picture of it here is mutated so that it's four foot long four foot i'll say it again
Imagine a rat that's four foot long. It's pretty big. It'd be like Splinter from the Ninja Turtles, wouldn't it? It might even be Splinter. Maybe it's where his family come from. Probably. He's Indonesian. Hmm.
So here's your first one. Next one is the Solomon Island Skink. Do you know what a skink is? Small animal.
Yeah, it's a small, tiny, quite a small lizard. Oh, no, I didn't. Very small lizard. But the Solomon Islands skink has just evolved to be much larger than a normal one.
It can be almost three foot long. Kind of look like those dragons. Yeah, they do look a bit like little Komodo dragons. Yeah. But they've also evolved so that their tail, because they're sometimes called monkey tail skinks.
and their tail has become really really long and they can wrap around a tree and hang down from it and stuff like that so it's like not only is this a big giant lizard it can also hang around on its tail and bite your head off yeah totally so there we go
That's the next giant animal. There's no Godzilla on this list, by the way. Right. The Chapel Island tiger snake. What do you think of snakes? Are you scared of them? You like them?
My eldest has a snake now, a boa. Really? I didn't know that. Yeah, Charlie got a snake now. What's Charlie called it? I think it's a boa python.
I don't know. I can't remember the name of it. Brilliant. Sneaky. So, the Chapel Island snake is the largest of all tiger snakes, which is quite an aggressive snake.
And it can grow up to, oh, just eight feet long. Nice. It's not that poisonous, though, although it still is a bit poisonous.
But not that poisonous. But its bite is the most painful thing. How about a millipede? You know what a millipede is? Yeah, how big?
So there's the Madagascar giant millipede. It's known by scientists as the pill millipede or star poo because it rolls up into a ball around the size of a baseball.
This is a millipede. So imagine a woodlouse that can roll up in a ball the size of a baseball. And they've no idea why it's grown that big, but this type of millipede has.
yeah i wouldn't like to get near one of those well here's an even creepier one for you excuse me the saint helena giant air wig So in St Helena, there's an earwig which grows to the size of four inches long.
there's a picture of one on someone's head near the ear and it's like literally it's reaching literally from like the eye to the ear you know you know on star trek 2 the wrath of khan those things they put in your ear that eat your brain yeah yeah it's literally like one of those wow uh
And it just basically eats anything it comes into contact with. It doesn't have any predators because it's quite a big bug. So that's not great. The...
Got to mention the Galapagos Islands tortoise, the giant tortoise. Everybody knows about them. They use them as taxis over there, don't they? They sit on the backs of them. It's going to be fucking slow.
um they can live to the oldest known one is 152 wow they live a long time and they are usually up to five feet long
I didn't realise they were that big. That's real big. Five foot? I'm 5'10"? Yeah. So it's almost as long as me. Yeah. But fucking slow. Fucking slow, though. Yeah.
And the picture they've used, as I'm reading through this article where I'm grabbing more information from, is of two of them humping. And they do apparently mate up until 140 years old.
Good on you. They kind of give up in the last 12 years. They ain't bothered so much. Yeah, I get that. I can understand it. But 152. There's going to be that one period in time where I'm just like, you know what boning I used to love doing?
I don't love it anymore. I'm bothered. It doesn't work. Yeah, I can't be bothered anymore. I'll just shit myself. The giant, the biggest beetle known...
to man is the giant vijian longhorned beetle so it looks like a snag beetle it's got really spiky things on the front of it i don't know what you call them mandibles yeah and it
grows to seven inches long nice so just over half a foot of beetle coming at you there um and his horns are really really sharp um but it you know it doesn't really attack you because
But if you're a bug that's smaller than it, you're fucked. I mean, these things, that's why they grow big. Not to fuck up us, I hope. And then finally, it's now extinct, but it's worth mentioning the elephant bird.
oh yeah this was a bird that lived in madagascar um now it was about three meters tall which is 10 feet tall it weighed 900 pounds or 400 kilograms so imagine an emu they're about six foot tall normally and then add another four feet to that height
It died out a long time ago, but they found all these fossils and relics of it. And here's the most painful fact. Their eggs, imagine it having to lay this, were three foot.
in circumference three foot around the poor female elephant bird that laid a three foot round probably why they die
I can't do it anymore. I'm not letting it out. But we're dying out. We need you to lay the eggs. There's only a few of us left. No. Have you seen them? But yeah.
That's the elephant bird. I didn't even know that existed. It died out in the late 17th, early 18th century. Wow. So a couple of hundred years ago. Well, that was very interesting.
yeah it wasn't so strange as no no but it's factual but it's just a bit creepy though isn't it yeah my least favorite of those is probably either the earwig or the um the bug
The millipede. Yeah. I don't want to see a giant bug. No, not really. All right, Bill. Well, Bill. Put your E.T. finger away. Stop pro trying to probe me.
and take us out of order the strange because we need to go and see what Matthew Broderick's up to let's see what little Burmy man is up to
The worm guy. I'm the worm guy. Here we go. That's all the time we've got for this week on Worldless. Strange. Next week, though, give me Ira. Hairless pets. Weird.
This is the 7th November call. The target's heading right at us. He's too fast. The Panamanian government is showing evidence of passengers dead or alive.
Please stand by miles off the eastern American seaborne, we don't even know what the hell it is.
Godzilla for 1998. PG 2 hours 19 minutes. French nuclear tests irradiate... irradiate? God damn it! An Iguana into a giant monster that heads off to New York City. Full stop.
The American military must chase the monster across the city to stop it before it reproduces. I can't read. My name is Gav. I am Gav's character.
1998, saw this in the cinema. Obviously Roland Emmerich directing. Again, stands up. Nowadays, it looks pretty decent.
yeah there's a couple of um cgi moments that look a bit dodgy but overall looks good and the reason for that is less is more because like you said earlier a lot of it takes place in the dark or during the rain um
Although they said that the rumour was that the rain was there to hide the CGI, but actually Ronan Emerit and the cast and crew said it made it harder. Oh, I guess, yeah. I personally like that, you know.
They had to wear wetsuits under their costumes at all times because there was so much rain. And Matthew Brodrick was really annoyed because he found it really hard to put his wetsuit on.
One day he saw Jean Renaud with just his wetsuit and he said, oh man, you've got a front zip up one. Mine's a back zipper and I cannot do it up on my own.
And where do I get a front zipper? Do you turn it around? John Renau said every single scuba one is a front zipper. You've been wearing it backwards for three weeks.
So he'd been wearing it backwards for the first few weeks of shooting. Has he not? I've never been scuba diving. I could figure it out. I would look around at other people and be like, there's a zip at the front. It'd be the first thing I'd do to go, oh, fuck, I'm ready to swing it around.
Come on. Every time you hear the piss, it must be a nightmare. Come on. And surely the person's going beyond and going, laughing as they're doing the zip up because they're like, he thinks it goes from the back.
because he must be like you're wearing it wrong this movie before we get into the cast this movie was an event movie again you know everyone wanted to go see Godzilla the trailer showed him stomping on things it was coming on hot on the heels
of jurassic park five or six years after and it's saying the same principle in it yeah even the poster said you know size does matter we all like big monsters in the cinema that's the way it is
There was even a trailer where you saw it stomping on a T-Rex skeleton to try and get one over on Jurassic Park. And the other reason it was an event trailer, an event film, was because it had...
a soundtrack that everybody wanted to buy. It was a really good soundtrack. P. Diddy was on there, unfortunately. I released a skate video every past couple of days, an old video I made not a long ago, but I think it just got...
People just didn't see it because of the... I couldn't put it up on YouTube because of song copyrights. My Instagram, and then it shows on Facebook, I couldn't have it up. So it's called the songs that I just, you know, pay for it because I wasn't selling the skate video, but you just try and make it real fun. At the end of it, there's a...
bloody p diddy song on there i didn't even realize there's nothing i could do about it i can't cut it again now
Yeah. Well, it's got Peter Day, it had Jamara Kwai on there. It's a really good soundtrack overall. I think Batman Forever was around about this time, and that had a really good soundtrack. So I was buying movie soundtracks. It was a big thing, wasn't it?
Yeah, because you'd like the film, and then you'd buy the soundtrack. Around the same time, Beavis and Byer to do America, that soundtrack was banging.
Yeah. So I was watching a film and if I liked it, I'd show how much I liked it by then listening to the soundtrack. You just don't do that anymore. And obviously I could do two things. You could buy the soundtrack, then buy also the score. Yeah.
totally different albums some shops would do a package for you where you'd get like two for whatever you know the soundtrack and the film
Great stuff. And the Jomaraquois, just quickly, the Jomaraquois song is still incredible in this. I'm going deeper underground. That one, yeah.
This is essentially a monster movie because they're putting Godzilla out as a bad antagonist in this, essentially. As a monster, really. They're putting it across the mask. I disagree.
I see this as a Frankenstein remake. No, but what they're saying, well, I feel like they're putting across that he is the bad monster. Yeah, I feel like he's a misunderstood monster.
He is. He's last day. She, they, we don't really have a sex for it, we discover. Yeah, but I feel like that they just want to get somewhere to lay their eggs, so they're thinking about their young, and...
even at the end when Godzilla dies, is very sort of Frankenstein-esque. And you do feel sorry for it because there's sad music. And, you know, I love Frankenstein and I love that whole story. And it does feel like...
yeah I could be and as we go through it we might discover this and also the film starts off with like this old news footage of like shit happening you know bombs going off etc all black and white
with a music score and it's very end of the world shit and seems a bit like it's a bit bleak and full on to start us off but I quite like it I think it's a good way of going into it that's Roland Emmerich quickly about the cast Matthew Broderick
michael j fox was originally going to play this role um i can see him in that role um and i think there was a couple of other people like they offered it to stallone and a few other people but
You don't need a nerdy worm guy, Stallone, come on. No. Hey, yo, these worms, man.
These worms are twice the size they used to be in Chernobyl. It would be a Stallone movie. It wouldn't be a Godzilla movie. You can't have two stones. Stallone would be as big as Godzilla in that sense. You know what I mean? It wouldn't work.
we've got genre now in this as well um he's brilliant and so funny in his french dry wit and it's just in one of the first scenes when the japanese ship we have the guy from die hard this is the stunt guy the old man
al young yes it's fucking our man um and gav you'll be pleased there's there's three simpsons voices in this i i i love the fact actually i've put them
I've put a point somewhere. I think it's in an elevator or something. At one point, I was like, right now, it's in the helicopter or something like that. Right now, you have so many voices. That's more than three. There's many, many voices. No, there's three voice actors.
Oh, sorry, sorry, yes. A lot of The Simpsons' actual characters are in here right now. Hank Azaria, obviously. It doesn't do Mo anymore, because obviously...
apu you mean apu sorry yeah not my he does um harry shearer as well he's he does the he does he do the mayor who is out in the cinema at the moment in fucking it's the bottle tattoo
oh yes of course and there is another person who i don't know because i can't remember now but i know there was three voice actors in this from the simpsons and apparently the bit where hank azaria climbs over the cars and almost gets stepped on when he says
whatever the line is he says they go oh my god apparently he does a bit of um mo he said it must have just slipped out um so i'd love to hear the whole movie just with him doing mo all the way through it oh my god yeah um
kevin dunn's in this as well and there's not really anybody else you'd probably recognize but that's enough really because it's all about fucking godzilla this isn't it there's one guy in it when this i remember um
I don't know when I was watching it, but I used to watch Desperate Housewives for whatever reason. I got really into that for one point in time. I remember that. I have no idea why.
And there's a guy in it, one of them is one of the husbands. The guy with the blonde hair is the army guy who's trying to take orders and get things right and gets them wrong. Yeah. He's one of the husbands. Yeah, he's one of the husbands in Desperate Housewives. Yeah, that's right.
I've seen every episode of Desperate Housewives. Well, I can trump you on that. Yeah, go on. I've seen... every episode of sex in the city yeah i haven't i've seen quite a few my my friend she went to australia uh well actually me and her went to australia together and then i came back
And then she went back out there for an even more extended period and to travel the other side of Australia that we hadn't done, the West Coast. And she said, oh, you can just pick from my DVDs while I'm away. I'm going to be away for like nine months.
so i was at her house and i was like well i'll just borrow all six seasons of sex in the city um and i just plucked loads of dvds from it and i actually sat down and watched them all over the course of i don't know and i gotta say some of them are very funny but
having re-watched them recently with Alice, they have not aged well at all. They are so racist, sexist, homophobic, stereotyping everybody, whether you're black, gay, whatever.
and it's at the time they thought they were being really cutting edge but oh baby they haven't aged well
But you get to see Kim Cattrall's Norks quite a lot, which is fantastic. Yeah, it's an interesting one because it wasn't generally on TV. It'd just be like, and then he went down on me and the camera stays with the woman in his face. Then he's giving her...
rim job but she's like and then it is oh oh he was licking my ass or something it's like you wouldn't turn on any channel on tv right now and see someone describing about her ass being licked so that's what that's what pulled the people in yeah
That's probably why it made me watch it, to be honest with you. So, Godzilla. Enough about Kim Cattrall's boobs. We could talk about that all day long.
yes we start off with some scratchy footage of it seems real doesn't it and i love it when films do this um i remember um uh wrong turn starts with almost like textbook
pages from a book of like mutated people and inbred people and it does the same with this it's like um islands being exploded the french have done nuclear testing big bombs going off
you know mushroom clouds and then we see lizards and lizards crawling and hatching out of eggs and they're kind of laying the groundwork of okay the french the french are to blame spoiler alert it's all the french's fault in this um
And what they did was they set off a nuclear bomb in French Polynesia and it seemed to mutate a salamander into this big giant.
Fuck off. Fire breathing. City destroying Godzilla. So the French team that go over, are they there because they're guilty? Because I know they're investigating it. Or are they there because they need to clean it up?
They need to clean it up and cover it up. And cover them as being the case that did it. Right. Yeah. But partly because they're guilty, I think. That's it, yeah.
and i love how just quickly on a tangent i love that even though they're there there's only four or five of them to go and sort out this giant monster
They're just like so French about it. They're just like, get me some more coffee. Oh, this coffee's disgusting. They call it, oh, what's this? A donut? No croissants?
And they're just being so laid back in French about the whole thing. I just absolutely love that. Well, the Americans are like, oh my God, there's a monster. And they're just like, this coffee's not very good. It's brilliant. Yeah. Jean Reno. I'm a big fan of Jean Reno. I do think he's...
He's a fun actor whenever you see him in anything. So we end with an egg, an egg hatching. That's the end of that montage sequence. And we're off. So we start off with a boat, a Japanese...
fishing boat on the side of the Pacific Ocean. Al Leung is on there, as you said. The candy bar stealer. I was about to say in candy bars. But he was also in Big Trouble in Little China. You can name a billion movies he was in.
Al Young is on there and an alarm goes off there's an issue the boat seems to something huge is showing on the radar and suddenly a huge tail smashes through the boat the boat capsizes
That's the end of that. We'll get back to them later. There's only one survivor, a poor little old Japanese man who named the beast. Godzilla. Godzilla. Well, he says Godzilla.
which is the real name for it um but they they go oh it must be Godzilla uh and then we meet Dr Nico who is Matthew Broderick Ferris Bueller
So we've had the Fresh Prince fighting aliens. Now we've got Ferris Buda fighting a giant... I do like the fact that he's just like super happy pouring in the rain listening to I'm singing in the rain and I love the fact that he's just like so like a pig in shit because he's got these massive
He's in Chernobyl and he's basically got worms that have got bigger. And he's so happy and he's shocking them. Yeah, bring the worms up. Yeah. Yeah. Super happy. He's in Chernobyl.
studying mutations uh hence our word of the strange different in animals this film sets the scene it's pouring rain which pretty much is probably why i like this film a lot actually most of the film is set in the rain
imagine the rain in chernobyl talk about acid fucking rain that is the one place you wouldn't want to be ringed on but he's there
And it's brilliant because he's nonchalantly got his headphones on. He uses his car battery to shock the soil to bring the worms to the surface because he's studying how big they are. There's no way those headphones are going to be working in that rain. That is pouring rain. Like, come on.
foam ones. They're tape cassettes. We have these. It's not like they're in here. They're going to stop working. It's not got wireless Beats by Dre on.
The little foams would have gone so soaking wet. But the only other funny thing is, apparently the headphones work so well, he doesn't hear a giant US Army military helicopter land 10 feet from him either. Which seems silly because they're just little foam headphones.
again.
so he turns around and sees this helicopter he's quite shocked he takes his headphones off and he's speaking to them in very broken russian i have got permits for all of this i do love this whole setup here then when he's quickly taken to which we get to in a moment obviously but he's taking
it's that footstep says you're standing in it and it's like i do love this whole quick quick quick quick quick set up boom boom boom boom boom but explain go that's good so they say to him
yeah we know you've got permits for it but you pack up your stuff you're leaving and he goes what do you mean i'm leaving you're being redeployed reassigned so he's no idea what's going on one minute he's studying the worms are three times bigger in chernobyl next minute he's in a military helicopter
And this also, having a helicopter come down and just saying it's in Chernobyl, we don't know that. It doesn't matter. You've planted that in our scene. It makes this film massive scope again. It makes it worldwide, even though it isn't.
But just those little secret sneaky things that you can do. Well, they do that a lot here. They show you where in the world we are, because the next scene in says Tahiti. But it could literally just be the camera just over there. Tahiti.
Now we're in Japan. Yeah. Oh look, now we're in the UK. Yeah. There's a man with bad teeth. Fish and chips. Yeah.
so we're in tahiti there's been an incident and they've got this japanese old japanese man in bed john renault storms into the hospital bed
and holds a light in front of his face to sort of snap him out of his catatonic state and says to him tell me what you saw old man tell me what you saw and he the old man all he can say is which is the japanese word for you know giant
terrible lizard slash godzilla of course i must be killing killing me now because he's obviously the big biggest godzilla fan in the whole wide world um so apologies if i of course it doesn't translate as that but so that's as much as we know
all the genre knows is this thing is called gojira nico meets the army uh the army guy and it's kevin dunn weirdly who is in charge of quite a big part of the army comedy actor normally but he's he's high up in the army does pretty well
yeah he's alright in this actually this is so weird I'm looking at the cast very quickly and at no point do I see Cheech Marin now I swear in my head it must be another movie Cheech is watching Cheech is watching at the water at the dock and the thing comes he's like oh my
God. That's Ghostbusters. Is it? Yeah, where the Titanic arrives.
And all the dead ghosts are coming off the Titanic. In my head it's this movie. I can't wait till I'm an old H-pinchster and I've got all these movies mixed together like a mega mix in my head. You could mega mix Ghostbusters 2 with this. There's so many we could do.
You can have the Ghostbusters fight Godzilla. In fact, the Ghostbusters did fight Godzilla in a comic book. There was a crossover. I've got to do Hostel yet. Don't give me too much to work on. Peter Venkman. What are we going to do? Get the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
back out of the containment unit get him to fight godzilla and then he just toasts him like a marshmallow yeah
I wonder if I... I'll do that. I wonder if I could put it... I don't know if the gods have let me put it on deadbolt. I don't know if I can get away with it doing the Megamix. I'm not sure how it works. Because it's not really copyright. If it's a fan edit, I think you could probably get away with it like we did the Star Wars movie, maybe. Maybe.
People do lots of fun edits. Yeah, I'll have to look into it. So, Nico, then, that's Dr Nico, Matthew Broderick, he meets the army, and he's brought to this place where there's been something to happen in Tahiti, and...
They've all got radioactive detectors everywhere. And he's like, what's going on? Radiation? I'm not really a specialist in radiation. I'm a specialist in bugs and worms. I'm the worm guy.
And he says, what is it? What are we looking for? And he goes, you're standing in it. He says, standing in what? He says, your job. It's so good. Yeah. And the camera does this. Birds eye view. Go on, you describe. The camera. What?
What am I standing in? And he's just standing around as the camera just pulls back and up and looks down. And basically we're standing in a massive footprint, but he's still there going, what? What am I looking at? I don't understand. And he still doesn't get it, which is quite nice, actually. It's a nice little way of doing it.
and and then then the next shot is him running along and oh my god that was a footprint wasn't it a footprint i was standing in and he says um no creature on this earth could you know
make a footprint that big what the hell what the hell's going on and he meets Elsie the sex pest she wants a bit of Ferris Bueller she wants his day off it's weird what's going on with this
She's like, wow, you're kind of cute, huh, Mr. Worm Guy? She hasn't had it for a while, I think. She fills him in on what's been going on. And they talk about what type of animal it could be.
you know they just no one can figure this out and again we're not seeing godzilla yet we've seen a footprint we've seen a bit of a tail on that japanese boat at the beginning yeah we don't really see a lot to begin with emmerich knows what he's doing he's what
basically being brought up on jaws as far as i could assume agreed agreed they tell him about the japanese boat and they take him to to see it um
and it's obviously got these giant claw marks like a giant wolverine has scraped down it three times or a giant freddy krueger back to new york we meet audrey
Now, Audrey, played by Maria Petillo, she used to date. So again, we've got a tenuous link here, like in Independence Day. She used to date Matthew Broderick back in college, and she dumped him.
Because he was a bit too full on. And he loved her and he wanted to marry her. So she dumped him. So there's the tenuous link. Worm guy used to date this Audrey girl. But she works with Harry Shearer. That's her boss.
simpson's voice hank azaria is one of her best friends he's dating her best friend his name's animal in this brilliant
And he's so New York, isn't he? He's like, hey, yo. Hey, yo. Yo. Hey, yo. I just got some coffee. I'm going to get some donuts. I'm trying not to do any of my Simpsons voices too much. And then I'm going to turn into one of them. He's just totally like a couple of times.
where he does turn but if you do that many voices oh yeah you are accidentally gonna do it oh thank you i saw an interview with him recently where he said he when he reads spare time stories He does the voices for different characters to his kids when his kids are older now.
But he said he used to read, like, Goldilocks and Three Bears or whatever it was, and he'd do, like, the bear sounded like Mo, and then, you know, all these different voices he'd do. Oh, my God, that'd be so amazing. Can you imagine that? Imagine if there's been a fly on the wall.
yeah but if he starts doing a poo you're like dad don't do that voice anymore come on you're not allowed to do that anyway um so yes uh nico the army etc
They're looking at this ship with the giant scratch marks down here. This is where Elsie's really throwing herself at him. Like Matthew Broderick, he wears a fucking...
It's not even a beret. What hat has he got on? I don't know. She just wants some nerd fucking. She just wants to take advantage of this little nerdy guy. Nico then meets a Frenchman, Jean Renaud.
who's very mysterious and he claims to be working for an insurance company that's all he ever tells anybody i work for an insurance company and obviously we know he's in the french secret service who are these coffee drinking
french badasses who are there basically to cover up any involvement from the french but also hopefully destroy godzilla yeah um
He also takes a sample. Nico finds where the scratches on the ship are. He finds little bits of flesh from Godzilla. So he takes a bit of sample and he's studying the sample. And we see another boat.
uh an american boat this time in u.s waters there's a few of them there's three of them and they're fishing boats at night time perfect gav setting it's night time there's a storm on the sea the rain's lashing down
the waves are crazy must have cost a lot like even if they use like a water tank to do this you know yeah it must because it looks amazing and all of a sudden one of their nets gets snagged oh come on pull the net in and they use them all the
the vices to try and pull it in whatever it is grabs all three of the fishing nets from all three boats and just pulls them under the water and all the guys on the boats jump off and then it's really cool
it's really cool yeah because you're like well what the hell could be pulling that we know it's the title of the movie and then it spits them back out doesn't it because they say what's that noise and it's the sound of the ship being spat out
It splashes back out of the water. Great stuff. Is Amy the ex-girlfriend? Audrey. Audrey. Yeah.
She's got a letterless boss who's basically saying, like, well, I know you want to get up in your career, which is, unfortunately, her mission in this, which makes her do...
bad things her character it's her mission to try and get better in her job and her career she wants to be a reporter a proper reporter on the tv to do it she knows she has to make some sacrifices but before we get to that he wants to give her an easy
option uh you know come out for dinner with me and basically blow me you you know you'll get a raise it's not i don't want to well i don't want dinner but i want to think we'll come for the dinner and then you have the raise it's like oh my god that's horrible yeah
unfortunately very real as well yeah and it just throws it's just a passing thing it's not we're supposed to make that character that bad from that even though it's a horrible thing they should be you know
Elsie, meanwhile, this sex pest, is talking to Nico and they get information, something, we just got a report that three trawler ships went down on American waters.
And Elsie says, well, I think this is a dinosaur. I think this is some kind of dinosaur that we thought went extinct, but it's actually just been hiding out. Which would be...
I guess, the logical thing to think. You weren't not going to think it's a lizard that's had the radiation that's gone that big. But they've seen the footprint. Even though that's crazy. They've seen the scratch marks.
you know so they know that there is something that's leaving footprints you would think dinosaur wouldn't you you would even though it's a crazy thing it's you're gonna go what was nothing else that big we'd know about it so
yeah but nico says no no no i don't think it's a dinosaur i've done some some sample testing yeah he says it appears to be closely related to a salamander or something like that but i think it's a mutated new species
something we've never seen before and it's because of radiation so he knows he's very clever this worm guy he knows he studied worms gav he knows all about this shit big worms
big perm hey big perm i mean big worm there's a little friday reference for anyone who wants that he's in the charlie shindog
is he yeah they were in a film together yeah i've not seen it money changes or something money talks i've got it on vhs really good film really really good i'll check it out really funny yeah
um there's a really funny scene oh there's no point talking about that but anyway but it's a great film check it out um so where are we at so oh back to new york audrey and her friends and she's chatting to hank kazari and her and his
girlfriend and they're saying look the trouble is audrey you're too nice and unless you do something nasty or fuck your boss you're never going to get anywhere in life and this and this triggers something in her head because she thinks okay maybe i will
will be the bad guy maybe i will get her knife so she later on this leads her to later on screw over matthew broderick and steal something from him
which is a real shitty move from which in look look like in life there's there is always easy options to get places a shortcut she can get the things but if it comes into like a
a thing where you're doing something wrong you know it's wrong don't do it because it could come back and bite you in the ass in the long run you're gonna it's only gonna slow you down in the long run and if you've gone the slow path you'd be going ahead quicker when you get slowed down later on guaranteed
And that's all for Philosophy with Gav today. Indeed. Next week, sex tips. Well, the tip of his... Anyway.
i like the way no no no now while she's deciding to be a badass and fuck somebody over and it's going to be matthew broadway she actually sees him on tv
because they're reporting on this team that have been brought in they're in the pub talking they're in the bar chatting and it's like hey can you turn the tv up
doesn't, she grabs him, make control, turns up, and then she's like, I know him! He's my ex-college boyfriend. Yeah, which must be quite funny. And then we get a lovely little moment now.
of an old fisherman just on his own. He's having a little fishing expedition. Cheech is not in this one, is he? No, you are right. There is a scene where it's a movie, isn't there? What film is that? Yeah.
As short as this. Yeah, so...
And this old fella, he's about to go without a fishing rod. They're like, you're crazy. And he's like, I'm crazy. And he's just going out with a fishing rod. He's really eccentric. You're always doing this. You know, that sort of thing.
The only thing you're going to catch is a cold, which is really cool, funny. And then he says, I got a bite. And his line has been really pulled out. And then slowly this fin.
bearing in mind Godzilla's about 200 feet tall this fin emerges from the water and the water the waves start breaking and then whatever it is is heading towards the dock because
The jetty that he's standing on just starts exploding as he's running. There's no way this old man could run as fast as he is with the jetty exploding behind him. But he does and he manages to get away. I'm just looking up Cheech Marine.
fishing he was fishing in tin cup um which is that film with about the golf but um no i don't think he
I can't find him fishing but he does ring a bell. Oh my god this is a Mandela effect Gav. Me and you have seen a film where Cheech Marine was fishing.
well he's just there on the port and he mocks the person or he's looking at you know he looks at something coming in it's a boat or something off yeah I'm sure that's Ghostbusters then in that case maybe maybe anyway this poor old man manages to just escape
whatever it is that's chasing him and all of a sudden we get our first shot of godzilla and it is a sexy thigh this giant leg comes out the water and it's so um
powerful isn't it so cinematic yeah and the music kicks it's a great score by the way we've talked about the soundtrack it's a really good score for this film and this leg comes out the ground
domps down onto the road and again just like an independence day all the cars are bashing into each other yeah um we get that same guy in fact same actor from from independence day and then um boats are falling on the ground in the middle of the street because
They were on the back of Godzilla as he stepped out of the water. It's what you want, though, isn't it, really? Yeah, it's total chaos. There's fish everywhere. He eats a load of the fish.
And we cut to the mayor. The mayor of New York is an absolute fucking great character. Yeah, he plays this sleazy mayor really well. He says things like, what am I going to be, the mayor who led...
new york the mayor of the city that let new york get eaten by a giant lizard he says things like that all the time you know he said my god and the funny thing he's got going with his assistant is whenever he's stressed he eats candy
and this assistant's like sir you shouldn't be eating that he's like oh okay you're right you're right and then later on he's just like i'm eating this candy because there's a giant creature destroying the city fuck you um and he's basically
kind of the Jules Mare isn't he yes he is yeah it's not like they can shut New York down it's obviously it's going ahead it doesn't have that but he is kind of sort of that sort of way yeah I really he's really good I think he's great at it And then we get some nice shots of cars shaking.
shaking the car arms going off people looking around and it's Godzilla and our first real shot of him now is he emerges from behind a building massive legs
crushing everything in its path people running oh my god uh he passes by windows there's people in their offices just like i know we didn't really speak too much of it because we got carried around the cheech thing but the guy who was fishing though it is quite comical
obviously gets a bite on his rod and he's like oh wicked yeah he starts pulling it he's like oh my god they're like oh he's got one hey hold on to it he's like yeah yeah and it's obviously Godzilla yeah well done mate biggest catch of your life yeah I hope you survived
And there's a funny moment where some of the people in the office talking to Harry Shearer, Audrey's boss, and he doesn't see Godzilla.
walk past the window oh yeah he's on the phone saying we need a new story and she's like i think your story just read past the window and her looks out the window and looks back again
And when he looks back for the second time, the tail, he misses the tail. So he misses the head, then he misses the tail. See, I like this film. It's tongue-in-cheek, but I don't mind it. It's so innocent. When the mayor is talking earlier on, you've just got this boom. Boom.
just occasionally almost like the t-rex with the glass of cup of water vibrations that sort of thing it's really nicely done he says those damn trucks going past they shake the whole building
Well, Hank Azaria, Animal and Audrey see the huge foot from the cafe that they're in. And he is a fella like myself. If you've got a camera, fucking film that shit. So his head is just like, I've got to film this because that's...
what you these people are like I am like that myself if I'm like fucking film it film it and he's just like I'm going straight out of a camera and it's videotape big massive videotape cameras by the way
He's a great character in this because he's quite brave and wants to do his job. He's got a meaty role in it as well. Yeah, he's pretty decent. So yeah, you're right. He grabs his camera and he goes out in the street, confronts this beast.
And then we think he's dead because the foot steps down on him. But it turns out he's luckily just between the toes of this. It's really cool. It looks so cool. And he plays it so well. Because you imagine, you know, it's going to be...
uh cgi it's not gonna be a massive foot so he's playing that by playing that in that road and it's just done really really well his like reactions are proper like it's good really good acting in it it's just just the right amount of comedy timing yeah it all works nicely um
and the army now they gather in new jersey and that's where their sort of base is and they discuss they tell the mayor i think we're going to need to evacuate manhattan um and then they get a report saying sir
uh we lost it and he's like what do you mean we lost it we've lost the the creature what do you mean we've lost it it's massive and um they've lost it and maybe they think maybe it went into the river
and that means it can go go to a different part of america anyway the news report is obviously saying ladies and gentlemen what can only be described as a dinosaur has just just destroyed several buildings in Manhattan here.
Audrey again sees Nico is in New York. So she's like, oh my God, this is it. This is my chance. I can use my ex-boyfriend because I'm such a bitch. I can use my ex-boyfriend to get famous and become a...
Famous reporter. Yay! Matthew Boruck's theory is it's perfect. New York's perfect. Look at it. It's like a playground out there. They could go and hide. It could hide anywhere.
What do you mean it can hide anywhere? It's fucking massive. The only place it can hide is going to be on the ground. It's fucking... How's it getting on the ground? It's fucking massive.
What do you mean hide? It's not going to just hide behind a building and no one's going to know where it is. Shh. He's like that. Shh. Stop. And the dog's barking at him. Go away. It's icking it slowly with his foot. Sitting behind a fucking little tiddly bush.
Imagine that, people walking down the street. You go, what was that? I don't know. I thought I just saw a giant head poke out from the Empire State Building. Oh, don't notice me. Don't notice me.
Holding his breath up. God said he doesn't give a fuck. He's just like, I'm just going to walk through this shit, go, bring fire at people and just kill people. Your face. Your God's an impression.
He does do that. That's just for you. I wish you guys could see that.
So everyone, similar to Independence Day now, you know, we can see some mirrors in his films as we discussed. He does these films well, Roland Emmerich. Everyone's evacuating and it's chaos. There's traffic jams. People are deciding, do I get drunk?
do i you know have a massive party or do i evacuate manhattan as they're advising and most people are choosing to to evacuate manhattan the police and the army are on the streets and they're in control because there's rioting and looting but they're also trying to get everybody out safely
We see some of the buildings that have been destroyed. One of them's got an amazing hole right through the middle of it where his tail must have gone through. It all looks really good. Emmerich knows scope. He knows what he's doing.
and similarly to independence day there is not one single godzilla in this that's real they're all cgi gav did you know that
um the mayor is worried now he does show some signs of humanity because he is worried about how this is gonna go down but also how it's going to affect his career so there's that of course is it is this where they gets a bug put on him
Yeah, Jean Renaud goes over and says to him, just to let you know anything you need, my insurance company will deal with it. And then he puts the bug on the map. And he's just like, huh, what? And yeah, he's basically bugged on his collar so he can listen in and see what's going on.
Now, Audrey steals her boss, Harry Shearer's press ID, and she's going to use that to sneak into the army base later to steal something from not just his heart, but steal something else from Matthew Broderick as well.
Now, the French guys, we get to find out who they are at this point. They're all sat around drinking terrible American coffee, and one of them says, well, it says French Role's done it. You know, I...
coffee's marketed as french roast or colombian roast and it's never quite like if you go to colombia drink proper colombian coffee it's probably got gogain in it to be honest yeah why not that'll wake you up in the mornings charlie sheen
um and it's very funny but not done too cheesily and they're not insurance guys they're secret service and they're there as we've said to cover this up make sure the french don't get tied to it just think about when i says nine grams of coke that he was
I think it was crack. Crack is smoking at once. You can't smoke coke. I mean, I accidentally smoked coke once. Yeah, I know, but I think it was actually crack, because he starts smoking coke, but then he gets into his crack. I know I always say, I accidentally...
Like the time I accidentally smoked crack once because I didn't know someone was passing me something that wasn't the spliff. But I did also accidentally smoke coke once as well. I was at a party and a girl thought it would be really funny to lace the spliff with coke.
I felt mental. Oh, drugs. I love sharing these little nuggets with our listeners, Gav, don't you?
the mayor speaks to the army and this is where jean renault can get all the information about what their plans are what they know about this creature and this is how the french guys get all the sort of scoop really
The mayor says to the army that he thinks the evacuation was a mistake and he says, I don't think we should have done this. But the army are saying, look, we've got this under control. We're going to search every single building.
in Manhattan for Godzilla. Like you said, you're not going to have to look very far, surely? What do you mean? Look, a building's the size of him.
What building has he, what door has he snuck into in the building that gets him inside that they're not going to know he's in there? I don't understand the theory in this. He's not.
the statue of liberty into the water and he sort of stood there with a crown on standing still like oh they won't know it's me i don't know how they think oh it's perfect he can hide anywhere no someone's gonna see him
yeah it's pretty big it's huge um now while they're searching they do find a tunnel underground um deeper underground and
They think Godzilla might have got off the island, which is worrying because they were able to contain this to just Manhattan. And this is where Nico says, look, he's just an animal. OK, what do animals want?
Food. Warmth. We need to draw him out. And what does he need? What does he need? Gabby needs fish.
that's what that's what he needs so he delivers this really heartfelt speech and the punchline to it is he needs fish i'm looking at a a set photo and it's um they've made a miniature of the street which i presume they must have made these everywhere but when i say miniature
like there's a guy in there just adjusting a balcony with the steps coming down you know the whole balcony with steps coming down outside building he's adjusting he's bent down adjusting one two three four five the seventh floor balcony he's bent down
So him standing up is probably about, you know, the buildings and they still go taller than this person, this guy. So if you're averaging him out, they're probably like nine or ten foot.
miniature building streets height so that's so impressive they got like the tanks are like the size of his feet his shoes
so if you get miniatures right yeah that's what sells it you know the lord of the rings movies from peter jackson they used so many miniatures yeah um you can do it really well you know and and obviously
It's going to be a bit cheaper, and it's not CGI, than blowing up buildings, which you can't do. I remember Starburst magazine seeing a picture of behind the scenes of Ghostbusters, and there was a guy in the Marshmallow Man suit.
with his hat with the mask off taking a break stood next to all the buildings they're all miniatures and i just thought of course it's a man in a suit but
I just didn't put it together that they'd miniaturised New York and then got a man in a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man suit. It's incredible when they can do it right. It's funny, when I was chatting to Martin at Frightfest,
And I said to him, how long has Starburst been going then? Because he's chief of internet, he was a reviewer, and now he's like...
chief editor and he's just like oh i think he said 77 i was like that's how old i am that's how long that magazine's been going that's incredible so it would have covered ghostbusters and all these things back in the day i love that it's still a paper
It's still a magazine, yeah. And I said to him, how's it doing? He said, it's great. He said, our next cover out is Wednesday, you know, the TV show, whatever. That's what we're sort of focusing on that time. So, yeah, it was interesting chatting to him about the magazine.
yeah there's still a few of them kicking around still few magazines and people do go back to magazines well i said to alice yeah i said to alice the other day in a petrol station we were we were buying the kids some like
all patrol magazines or whatever and um i looked up at the top shelf back in the day you would have obviously seen porn at that no no but there was you know anglers monthly there was vintage cars of the uk monthly and i said to alice isn't it
sad that we don't have so much of this anymore there used to be a magazine for any interest and people would buy that and read that cover to cover you know you'd be a subscriber if you go wh smith's that is huge the variety actually you're very surprised actually
um there's at least two or three different horror magazines and they still go in dark side and a couple others and then starburst and some other science fiction taught ones so yeah they do people still do like it in print
They like holding it. Empire Magazine was like my Bible back in the day. I used to get that every month. I used to like Total Film. I like their guide. They had a little graphing I used to like.
I'd buy that one occasionally, but for some reason Empire seemed like the better magazine to me. I think it was, but I'd buy Total Film occasionally. Yeah, Total Film worked for me because I'm just a, you know, I don't know, street urgent. No.
anyway fish fish is what we need for godzilla to draw him out so
the army brings in trucks full of fish these weren't real fish fish they had to make they had to make thousands and thousands thousands of fake foam fish otherwise it would have smelled too much oh god yeah and the french are obviously spying on them while they're doing this
um and everybody waits they dump all this fish and they wait this is the thing with these things though because this is what i come to realize when i've spent all day i've said this before i spent all day waiting to be called on set of born ultimatum and i'm at waterloo train station
all day long with fucking about 200 extras in a pub waiting all day long then we get called up and i'm like there's loads of public up here though they're like oh no i was chatting to the guys like oh no we can't shut it down so you're just mixing with the public so why are you paying us
all just down there you're just throwing money away because it doesn't really matter you could only have you could probably just pay five of us or ten of us and have those sort of guys in the front of the camera just and like for example this someone was there going that fish has to be fucking make the fish again
Make the fish again! And they're shouting at all these young 10-year-olds in sweat camps just building these fish, making them look fucking perfect. And the camera doesn't even see it. The camera sees the first 10 fish at the front. Do you know what I'm saying? It is that sort of shit that...
drives me crazy with movie making i love where your mind goes i know i love it so everyone waits
This is the, this is a perfect gab setting again. Heavy rain. It's nighttime. I love this bit when they're all like back tap and it's dark and they're like, let's just wake.
they've got their night vision goggles because they're waiting they've all gone quiet waiting for this massive basically gigantic sound and physical thing come into shot so the quietness of that is like such a great build-up of tension without anything going on it's almost
like the t-rex coming in Jurassic Park you know nothing happens so yeah Matthew Broderick says I know what the problem is we need to open all the manhole covers so the smell of the fish will go down
under the ground and it will smell it and then it will come to us so he gets the army to pull up all the manhole covers no ninja turtles pop out sadly no chuds no alligators all those rumors about new york sewers but
still the smell of the fish goes down there and we get a dual shot the camera pulling back as it zooms in yeah it's just like you know we've already been saying like for these movies like he knows he's grew up on jewels and there we go yeah and the crown the ground cracks
And Godzilla emerges from under the ground. Not from behind the building like we expected. It's not bad. It looks pretty decent as well. Yeah, he's got big green eyes. He...
Puts his face right up to the worm guy and says, ah, you're a Ferris Bueller. Bueller. And he sniffs him and then breathes on him. And then I love the fact he's got a wind-up camera.
30 people didn't know this.
He went out and bought a disposable camera from a pharmacy nearby. I love the fact that that's what you did back in the day. You'd just be like, I need a camera anywhere you want, just get that, and it has a film in it, and you just use it, then just get it developed. It's such a wasteful.
thing but um it's such a cool idea in a way yeah but the thrill of getting them back from the chemist not knowing what
If any of your shots had come out. Yeah, and it's back in the day where any photo would be developed and you could have people at parties and you wouldn't know what was on the pictures. Do you know what I mean? That sort of badness.
Get pictures back and they're like, ooh, saucy. I'm just glad smart friends weren't around when we were growing up. Well, I'm glad I'm not young. Because the kids nowadays will be doing this shit, probably. Yeah.
So, he sniffs Niko like we said, and then it walks towards the fish. And then... Sorry, carry on. And it starts eating the fish, and the army say, Fire at will!
Poor old Will Smith. Don't fire at him. And what do they say? We're going to need bigger guns. He does. Rather than bigger boats. Oh my God. Could you be any more Jaws? Yeah. They try rockets. They try bullets. They do nothing.
Zilla runs really fast because it's so big it can move up to 200 miles an hour. So the helicopters come in. Great scene. Really great scene. Straight out of a video game. It's real cool. It's like Thunder Blade. Remember that game? Yeah.
yep and the sega had that yeah um so yeah we get these great shots with these helicopters zipping in between the new york buildings
tricks them godzilla plays a trick on them what the fuck this is this is probably why people are pissed off with this i thought it's hilarious but godzilla literally like i'm gonna make him think of i'm hiding in there but i'll be in the other building
behind them well first of all he breathes his fire he only does his fire breath twice in this film he breathes fire on a tank a few tanks and destroys them the choppers are like we can't keep up with him he's moving too fast the chrysler building has been destroyed
Get the heat seekers out. The heat seekers don't work because he's cold-blooded, of course. He's a lizard. And then, yes, the strafing looks great of the bullet.
through the night sky with the rain oh yeah looks so good yeah and then it vanishes we've lost him what do you mean you've lost him
And then they're like, I think he might be in this building. There's a hole in this building. No. Let's shoot. Let's just shoot the fuck out of it like we're in Predator. And then he sneaks up behind him and goes, takes him out.
hiya takes the most amount apart from one and they're like oh fuck let's go go he bitch slaps the helicopter doesn't he he sort of slaps it down and he's like fucking go go go go so they go and they're like we can't outrun it it's like go up
I know. Go up. Why didn't he go up? I don't know. I know it's going to be slower to go up, obviously, if you're going speed, going fast, but if you start to go up a bit, he's going to not be able to catch you, is he?
he gets one with his tail as well um and he's destroyed all the choppers and the army and the mayor oh my god there's been loads of damage but it's fine though because they say to the public don't worry it's all under control nothing it's absolutely fine we've got this under
control guys it's all good guys don't worry the 4th of july is gonna happen this beach will be open audrey finds nick at the camp
back at base camp just before that yep just before that we get an incredible shot of godzilla doing a king kong almost climbing up the i think it's the empire state building yeah it's a building and the lightning strikes the top of it
To your Godzilla again. That's it. And it does that. That's more of a zombie. It's actually at the chemist she sees him because he's there buying loads and loads of pregnancy tests.
Yeah, she says, that must be quite the harem you've got there. And he's like, Audrey, is that you? She's like, yes. It's because I'm such a player. I'm putting all these tests for all my bitches. And she says to him,
You're not still mad at me after eight years, are you? And he's like, well, yeah. She's like, what do you mean? He's like, well, you broke my heart. Of course I haven't forgotten you. I carry pictures of you around like a fucking psycho stalker.
Come on, it was eight years ago, Matthew Broderick. Get over it. Now, I love... I understand that New Yorkers will just get on with things regardless, but I love the fact that it's so nonchalant, the people here. The lady working in the chemist, she hasn't...
She hasn't decided to go home for the day. No, she's closed. Because there's a fucking massive creature walking around, crashing the place. Ain't bothered. She's just working as normal. She'll be like, have you not seen... You're going to a shop in England. You're like, oh, get the rain out there.
You'd even speak about the rain. You'd go in there and say, Oh, the godsend are out there. It's big, isn't he? Yeah, I'm going to shut up early today. I think you should, love. I think you should go home. You don't need to be working when you might be crushed.
She's just selling Matthew Broadway 12 different pregnancy test kits, not even questioning why.
And she's like, hey, it's the city that never sleeps. I got bills to pay. Don't worry. I keep my pharmacy open all day long. Yeah, outside there's a hot dog seller with his car. Get out of the streets, people. Chili dogs. Just down there, there's a monster with a stride of.
like three blocks he can he can walk to you quickly go away he might smell your hot dogs and want to eat them just business as normal i love it well anyway matthew broderick eventually says all right i i guess i do forgive you let's at least talk can i make you some tea
it's so such a nerdy pathetic thing let me make you some tea and she's like i'd like that very much again though we know that she's gonna fucking use him for something isn't she the bitch so she she goes into the army tent with him and
She gets all the information out of him. She asks what's going on. He says, well, he might not be a he. Well, he might not be a she either because some lizards can...
reproduce asexually and from what i can see this thing is pregnant so it looks like he or she or they are nesting and what they're doing is they're finding somewhere that they can lay their eggs um and
this thing will lay a lizard will normally lay like a dozen eggs but this is bigger so we could be talking a few hundred eggs we don't know
Anyway, I've told you absolutely everything. Let me just run off and get something from the other tent and leave you in here with all this highly confidential information, Audrey. I'll be back in just a moment. Okay, see you in a moment. He runs off.
she's like oh what's this tape that says first sighting on it oh puts it in and it's the gujira footage of the guy being interviewed in the japanese guy in the bed then the footage of the giant footprints and all the destruction in tahiti
She's like, great, this is my story. I'm going to take it. So she takes the tape. She takes the tape. She ends up getting fucking stitched up, so there's no point in doing it. I'm glad. No.
The army have got no luck searching. We get a montage now of them scratching their heads going, where the bloody hell is this bloody giant dinosaur? I don't know, have you checked under that tree? And they're just, no one can find it.
Even that comical moment where the two guys are in the tunnel and they're like, I thought I heard a noise. And he turns around and there's a giant eyeball behind him. Doesn't see it. Even though we as an audience hear, he doesn't hear it.
He goes, I don't know, probably just the wind or something. Yeah, these tunnels are really old and windy. Okay. They just carry on walking around. They didn't see the giant monster behind them.
He's about the size of the Empire State Building. I don't know. I don't understand. There's a little bit of logic where they've been like, it's just cast an eye over here and ignore that at times. Now, Audrey has got...
Hank Azaria to piece together parts of this tape she stole. And then she shot a story with her going, this is Audrey reporting for New York News or whatever.
And then this is exclusive footage that we can show you. She goes over to her boss, who isn't Harry Shearer, her boss's boss, and says, play this. And he's like, whose story is it? My story. And Harry Shearer's hearing this, though.
And he's like, hmm, interesting. Yeah. And it's just, it's that classic line which happens. He gets fucked over. So the French then start spying on this military and they hear more of the plans and they hear about the eggs.
um so they're like oh okay the eggs are eggs are gonna hatch really quickly so we need to find the nest come on then french guys let's go find the nest so they're on a mission as well movie does a great job of tying together several
parties doesn't it yeah you know because you've got you've got your political guys with the mayor you've got audrey and the cameraman and and stuff then you've got nico but then you've also got the french guys but it doesn't in any way feel
complicated it just works quite nicely together yeah no it's all fine um
The news reporters show, they're all in the pub, and Audrey's excited, and Hank Azari's like, hey, Audrey, your news story's coming on. Turn that up, man. Turn it up. They turn it up, and it's not Audrey. It's Harry Shearer. Yeah.
And he's stolen her story, the bastard.
Unfortunately, it's complete naivety from her part, and it's a lesson that she's going to learn, but... Yeah.
And the news report says we can reveal exclusively that this incident started in French Polynesia. So the French have now been thrown under the bus as well. And we call this Godzilla. And she's like, it's...
Pronounce Gorgere, you asshole. Then says, Nick Notopoulos says today that, and it's like, basically says, Broderick.
And just before this happened, we cut to the tent, which they're watching as well in the army tent, and say, hey, guys, just watch this. They turn it on. Matthew Broderick's just there. Everybody's watching it. And he's like, whoa. And they're like, they said your name.
in person he's like i know i know because i'm really confused how would they know that how they know this and as soon as that happened soon as the tapes going they're like right you're off this case and he's like he's like oh my god she took it and they're like right you're off
yeah because he is quite he does play quite innocent quite well here he sort of
it's really shocked he suddenly realized then he realizes oh my god she took it wouldn't be her that's all he has to say and they're like right someone took it so right you're off you can't they're trying to keep this under wraps
uh to keep everybody calm and we can't let information get out so your liability off go which is a shame because he obviously is a specialist it's going to help but
you know yeah he's he's really steered them right so far but and the army guy really likes him kevin dunn but tough he's he's broken and when he finds that out the french guys are like right we're going as well why why are they going
Just because he's been clicked off. Why do they go, right, we're going to go back as well? I can't remember. At the moment, well, just before that, Audrey tries to apologise to him and he says to her, it's unforgivable, basically.
don't talk to me and he drives off it's a boring conversation Hank Azaria follows him though which is the main thing and Hank Azaria follows him the French don't leave the French kidnap him
okay they kidnap him and they take him i know they don't but i'm sure they say right we're leaving i'm sure it cuts to them going right we're leaving
Maybe they're leaving to go get him. That's what they meant. Rather than leaving New York, rather than referring to go get him. Okay, that makes sense. So they kidnap Nico and they reveal all. They basically say...
the u.s army aren't searching for the nest we've got to tell you this you know so i think they say we're gonna have to leave now because we've done everything we can and if the army aren't going to find the nest then this whole thing is fucked yeah because
one of these is bad enough 200 of these is going to be terrible and they've got loads and loads of guns and bullets and ammunition
And they reveal, you know, we've been trying to cover up that it was our fault. So they tell...
Matthew brought about the entire story. But I love the fact that he gets his taxi and he's locked in and he's like, hey, where are you going? And luckily Hank's following him. Hank's like, well, that's weird. And he starts following him. Luckily he does because he's essentially kidnapped.
you know and he said he followed him because he had a hunch yeah just wanted to see what was going on and it's good that he does because he goes back and says to audrey nico and some crazy french guys
are going to go find the nest. They're going to sneak back into the city. This is your chance to A, redeem yourself with Niko. Make it better. B, get the story. Get the snoop. Scoop. It's really good. Snoop. I love this.
I love when they go back and they turn up at the gates and it's just like...
um uh i didn't ask you sir when i smash a product because obviously other cars aren't american uh they're well yeah so hang on let's break this down so they're disguised as american army officers and what's their disguise chewing gum
Chewing gum. He's like, what's with the gum? And he goes, makes us look more American. And the only thing they watch is Elvis Presley movies. Yeah, because they're all in silence. One of them gets to speak. And the truck pulls up and the guy goes...
what are you guys doing here? Matthew Prodbert goes, oh, Colonel Hicks wants to see us immediately. That's Kevin Dunn. And he's like, I didn't ask you. He goes, well, I'm telling you, Colonel Hicks needs to see us. And he looks at the soldier, who's John Renau. Is that something wrong? You can't speak? Yeah.
And he goes, oh, no, sir, everything's fine. Yeah, and a real proper Elvis voice. It's dubbed over, isn't it? And then he says to him, on your way, sir. And he goes, oh, thank you very much. It's like, what?
But it's funny and it works again. Silly. So Hank and Audrey follow them and the French and Nico into an old subway station and they see Godzilla hiding in a tunnel. It's burrowing.
It says Matthew Roderick. He's burrowing somewhere to lay his eggs nice and deep underground. And then Zilla hits the streets.
Bam, bam, bam. Like a disco. In a pin pack. Saturday Night Fever. Zilla hits his cheeks. And obviously the army spot him. They start tracking him to Central Park. We get some really nice shots.
of um of him approaching the army um he doesn't enter the park though he basically senses that there's a trap in central park and the army are like oh fuck it just opened fire anyway so they just start unleashing bullets at him again he runs and this time he dives
into the harbour. That's a lovely jump and dive. It's a nice little dive. A nuclear submarine happens to be in the harbour. They spot him.
so they fire a nuclear missile again and they nuke him out just like an independence day zilla swims and lures the miss i love this he tricks him again he he lures the missile
Back around so that it hits the other submarine. This is exactly why people don't like this movie. Because he's clever. He's a cleverzilla. Clever girl. He then takes out another sub with his claws.
And he basically fucks him over. But... I don't... But... Well, he gets fucking direct hit and gets blasted. Yeah. Then explodes him and...
They think they've destroyed Godzilla. And we see him float slowly down like Hans Gruber, but in water, floating down to the bottom of the harbour. And we think we've wiped out Godzilla.
So that's the end of him for now. Now Nico and the French guys are now underneath the Madison Square Garden. This is where they find the nest with all the eggs.
And these eggs are probably, what, five or six feet tall? They're fucking huge. It's just like, when they had to make them, they're like, right, you know, you've seen aliens, yeah? That, but bigger. Whoa. And there's so many.
There's about 200 of them. That must have took so much work making those. To be fair, to my attention to detail, those are worth it. Not all the fish, though. They probably only needed to make 20.
and then reuse them in different shots. But apparently it's supposed to be about 200 eggs. A baby hatches, and then lots of babies start hatching. It would take over the world, wouldn't it?
It would take over all of America because they would grow that quickly and reproduce.
say in a year six months they'd be big enough to lay their own eggs well i'm not quicker than that probably i don't know more and then more and more and more and eventually they'd just take over and eat everything in america wouldn't it and then obviously be if they could swim to the next
place and carry on. They just whip the rear reins. So basically this is like the end of the world. We need to stop this shit. It's like dinosaurs coming back. Um...
And the scene with the babies is quite good. Now, a lot of people, this is the big reason people don't like this film because the third act introduces essentially like raptors. I like it. They're like nine foot fucking Godzillas. That is scary as shit.
And they're babies, so they're not very steady on their feet. They're only thinking about their stomachs. And they're all in there, and it really all starts to hatch, and it turns into, basically, the kitchen scene in Jurassic Park, that sort of thing, where they're running from these creatures.
they stink of fish they're like oh fuck we smell fish and they're hungry that's not good
This scene does go on maybe a bit too long, where they're running from room to room, but I don't get bored of it. It wouldn't describe the whole scene to our listeners now. It's funny. It's kind of like World War Z, where I know World War Z, they ended up just re...
right in the ending because they thought i don't know whatever and it changes from a massive like two act series uh film of large huge worldwide scope what was he is to a really small area in wales hospital third act which is really odd which is kind of like this i actually really like that idea
even though that wasn't the intention i like the fact that world war c does that and then goes really small i think that's quite cool but people don't know i get that yeah but this is the same sort of principle most we've had this massive scope and all of a sudden we're kind of contained for a good moment
in this area the only bit i'll really mention before we um before the detonators is that is there's a really funny gag where rathy broadwick's in the lift and the elevator doors open, and there's just like five of these baby Godzillas eating popcorn, and they all just look up and go, hmm?
And he's like, oh, shit, and closes the door again. It just works so well. They're chasing them all around. And we've got some disposable French guys who get fucking plucked off, you know. Yeah, they're there to be killed.
all of genre no's team were wiped out apart from him expendables and the french set up a load of detonators to blow up all of the eggs
Hank and Audrey are surrounded. They're in a locker room. And he's like, hey, I really can't believe I'm here. This is where the New York, whatever, get changed after a game. Yeah, he's loving it. And I like Hank. I've always liked Hank as well. I think he's a great person.
I loved him in Friends. He's good in Friends. He's just super good, yeah. Yeah. Jean Renaud tells Nico, we need to bomb this building. It's the only way. So I think we're all going to have to die. So...
uh every single french guy's wiped out and nico nico gets chased by babies hank and audrey do a die hard they climb into some um air tunnel ducks whatever you want to call them
And they're crawling along through there. The dinosaurs are after them. Not dinosaurs, but the Godzilla's, the baby Godzilla's. Babyzilla's, let's call them that. Jean-Claude. Jean-Claude. I wish Jean-Claude Van Damme was in this. Sean Renaud.
manages to clear a path through the baby zillas with um by blowing up chandeliers so they land and then they run away from it and he shoots all the chandeliers to clear a path to scare them all away and
the planes are preparing to drop um an msg which is a big giant bomb that will pretty much burn everything to the ground around them and they do he does radio in and say i think she then does her story doesn't she audrey she says i'm reporting to you live from madison square garden
where we're about to lose our lives, because if you hear this story, you need to bomb this building and wipe it out. I'm here with Dr. Nico Tatopoulos, and he's like, that's right, we're all going to lose our lives, but we're going to be here, not in those words.
Basically, they're doing a brandy quaid and they think that's going to be the end for them. But Godzilla isn't dead.
And Godzilla smashes out of the ground, sees its dead babies everywhere. Oh, we didn't know where he was. Yeah, it was. And it sees its dead babies everywhere and sort of nuzzles one of them. It's so sad, isn't it? Goes absolutely...
crazy he's pissed off obviously yeah um so they run Godzilla chases them they steal a New York cab and and they it's now it's seen basically with Godzilla chasing them in a New York cab now
A helicopter couldn't outrun Godzilla, but a New York cab can just about outrun Godzilla. See, I think this is part of the movie. Yeah, I know. This part of the movie is where it's starting to lose itself a little.
bit it seems like we're two hours in now and it's like i've forgotten now it almost goes into this as well and i feel i don't i don't know if it needs all this it's very
popularist action type scenarios going on here rather than what we had before i thought was more i don't know more not suspense but a bit more something
Well, they're in a cab, they go in a tunnel, they blind Godzilla with their headlights, they burst out and they get a radio call from the army to say, can you lure him to the Brooklyn Bridge?
because they know that it'll probably get tangled up in all the cables on it. I love the fact that they throw the taxi tags to Nick, the army guy from Desperate Housewives.
for the reason so he could get on the radio, because before mobile phones, look up the cab number so he can then communicate. It's such a simple thing, but that's really cool. I like that.
But Kevin Dunn says to him that was a damn smart move with the taxi code. Damn smart move. And he's like redeemed himself because he's made a few mistakes. So that was a nice little bit for his character. And they do. They lure him to the Brooklyn Bridge.
um godzilla manages to bite the taxi and they really ridiculous now they drive out of godzilla's mouth flying through the air the taxi would the suspension on a new york cab wouldn't take that kind of a hit but they land about a 50 foot drop godzilla trips falls down um
And they kill Godzilla. I know, it's sad, isn't it? And we get this sad music playing as we get the final breaths. And then you hear the heartbeat.
because it's so big you can hear the and it slows down to the final and it's still trapped in the bridge wires because we had this whole big thing where it's going long in chase and it's shut and Broderick shook electric shocks the Godzilla and stuff and yeah it's a whole thing trapped on the bridge
Everyone's sad. Yeah. But New York is celebrating and the mayor is happy. And then Hank Azari says, hey, where's my tape? I had the whole thing on tape, man. Where is it?
and jean renault's got it and uh he says to them we'll send you back this tape but slightly edited so you can get your story in about a month's time but we need to remove a few things first
So they're all going to become rich and famous from that tape. We get one final shot of the very last egg. So we've won.
but there's an egg hatching because they were going to make three of these, but it flopped so hard. They didn't. Really?
Yeah, they had three lined up. They were so sure they were going to be able to do a trilogy of Godzilla films. I'm glad that they didn't because it's not... Why do that?
Yeah, it's better as a one-off, and I prefer this to the newer Godzilla film. I agree. The new ones when they came out were okay, but then it's a bit like that.
I thought the first Godzilla, those new ones, was so damn boring. It was quite boring. Honestly. I quite liked King of the Monsters, and I haven't seen the one that's King Kong X Godzilla, where they team up. I've seen them all.
my son's got the toys of it like he's got like four of the figures over there i'm looking at but i've never seen it he loves gods because weirdly my son never seen a godzilla movie he loves godzilla and he loves king kong he has to take godzilla to bed with him every night um
although although he doesn't call king kong king kong he calls him so he loves mario as well and he loves donkey kong and in his mind he's merged together donkey kong and king kong and he calls him donking kong
Not King Dong. Now, Dong King is obviously the famous boxing promoter, yeah? With the big hair. So my son, in his head, he's invented a character called Dong King Kong.
i think it's daddy daddy i need my godzilla my don king kong i'm just gonna get you godzilla now to prove it to you not the listeners because they can't see this king kong will be in his bed that's why he hasn't got it but here's his godzilla
Oh, nice. And it comes with a little bit that you put in his mouth because his mouth opens and the fire comes out. So it's still, you know, this is a character that's been around when the first Godzilla movie came out in the 50s. And obviously we're talking about King Kong as well. So it's good that they're still doing these.
stuff but this god's 1198 massive massive thumbs up from me yeah a bit bigger glory thumb up for me it
You know, it's cheesy. It's 90s. It's unrealistic. But if you want to sit there with a bowl of popcorn and enjoy two hours of nonsense, this is the one for you. Absolutely. So, you know, Roland Emmerich.
That was your episode, really. I never thought we'd do a role in Emmerich Doublebilt. It just so happened I realised he directed both of these when I was prepping our summer blockbuster episode. But two great movies.
A lot of money spent on them. Yeah, right. A lot of money spent on them. Funny. Right, well, that's that. Thank you very much, people, for listening to that. We've got to come back now for the outro. Yeah, we'll be back in a second. See you soon.
And we're back again. And we're back. Back again to say goodbye to you. Goodbye, goodbye to you.
So that was episode 183. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air versus Aliens and Ferris Bueller's Godzilla Off. Great stuff. Love these. They're cheesy. I feel like this episode is quite...
similar to when we covered american werewolf in paris you know some people will like that film you and i like it probably a lot more than we should particularly with claudzilla but it's great film um independence days
holds up well so that was that that was episode 183 summer blockbusters a bit later than the summer but you know it's wrapped up the summer but let's talk about what's coming next cav should we talk about that yeah we shall what's next our next episode is another episode 184 kevin s fife
You saw Sea Devil. You have selected a couple of creature features. Creature features. One of which I've never seen. The other one I found out I own on VHS. I was in the attic the other day rummaging.
And I found my copy of Squirm from 1976 on VHS. I've no idea where I got it from. It might have been from you. I don't know. I've got a feeling that was from me. Yeah. Because I thought I had it on video and I was like, I don't, but I'm pretty sure I did. So, yeah.
I wouldn't have taken it. If I'd borrowed it, I'd have given it back. So I think it was when you gave me a big bag of stuff one day. So I've got Squirm on VHS. I'm pleased about that. 1976. And we're going to be watching another film he's chosen, which...
I've never heard of nor seen from 1981 called The Boogans. No, don't know nothing about it.
yeah so that's cool he's picked those he's already sent me his email and i can't wait to read out his email it's gonna be fun so that'll be on our next episode a patron pick we are going to be taking our foot off the gas a little bit because
Halloween is coming up, but we're also both very busy with stuff out of, I was going to say out of work, but this isn't work. This is just our hobby. So after that will be our Halloween episode.
So do expect another episode in between the Halloween, which will be Kevin's. But episode 185 will be our Halloween special. And Gav, as always, will be covering another Nightmare on Elm Street film and another...
halloween film so it's a nightmare on street part six the final nightmare from 1991 and halloween six the curse of michael myers starring ant-man from 1995 it's so bad it is but at least after that we get to do h20
And then Halloween Resurrection. And we'll just do the one. We won't do the Producers Cut, which I once bought off eBay. So I'm pouring a DVD, which is the Producers Cut of Halloween 6.
oh my god yes it's got animation and stuff put in it and i think it was like drawing you led that to me and it's like this has made it even worse
we're really selling that episode to our listeners but that will be fun as always and we'll be celebrating halloween for that one so that'll be fun and then after that episode 186 will be a fine footage special nice
We'll be covering Ghostwatch from the early 90s, the famous spoof prank that they did over here in the UK and is now known worldwide. It's on Prime to watch. And famously premiered on Halloween Live. Yeah.
Everyone was talking about it in the playground the next day. Dub duped us as being live, but wasn't. It was kind of like War of the Worlds, wasn't it? The conversations could be fantastic.
And we'll be pairing that up with another fine footage movie in a similar vein, which is quite a recent film, and that is Late Night with the Devil. Sort of cinema. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
and i can still remember you seeing that in the cinema and messaging me the second you got out saying we will be covering this at some point soon just it's just interesting conversation sake sometimes i watch movies and it might the movie night not be like oh my god it's an incredible movie but sometimes
movies like this is a conversation like we need to have a conversation about this film and I've only seen it the once so I'll be excited to watch it again me too so it'd be really good to go back again so that's what's coming up we've got Kevin's episode
our patreon followed by our halloween special followed by some found footage spooky goings on so stay tuned and we should be back on track to try and drop a couple of episodes a month after that so
thank you for sticking with us everybody talking to which i'll do our thank yous and our administration now and then we can say our goodbyes and kiss each other good night so as always we've been The Podcast on Haunted Hill
um we are a proud member of legion podcasts network and also part of the deadbolt media umbrella more on that in just a moment you can find out more about legion podcasts if you visit legionpodcasts.com It's the network.
not only hosts us but many other shows as well um they're also on facebook if you go to facebook and search for the legion podcasts page you'll find it on there we're on facebook as well uh just search for the podcast on haunted hill on facebook and you can join us on there
Join us. It's a fun page. We've got hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people on there. I've become really good friends with some of them over the years. I may not have even met a lot of you, but I consider you all to be friends and family. It's a really good community of people.
um we also have a website um no we don't we have an email address we used to but yeah
we used to yeah uh our web our email address is the podcast on haunted hill at outlook.com if you're struggling to find any of the links or you just want to reach out to us or ask us a question or suggestions that's where you can go thepodcastonhauntedhill at outlook.
you can also message me directly on facebook i'm quite open you can just chat to me on facebook messenger i'll happily field your questions
And wherever you're listening to us now is where you can continue to listen to us. We're on most podcast platforms like Spotify, YouTube, PodNike, Podbean, Apple, and all the other usual places. Just search for the podcast on haunted
hill you usually find us we're also on instagram our handle is the podcast on haunted hill insta which is where we just use instagram really to promote the show and we'll include a link and a little collage of the movies we've covered for that episode
deadbolt media is the umbrella that we're under deadbolt films is our production company if you go over to deadboltfilms.com you'll find out more about the short films the features the comics
This podcast, Gab's other podcast. Yeah, the website is just about to get updated. We were actually chatting about that earlier because it's a little bit out of date. Yes, but it's still up and running. It gets in there, yes.
but your other podcast is called the high strange podcast my lovely sarah uh delays uh congratulations on your milestone episode which is about to come out gav hundred but um yeah we just uh are still
working on it because it's uh nazis and the occult which is um a lot because sarah so i'm gonna read this book for it all right now she really goes in on the research yeah so it's just taking a while to get done because life
we have a youtube channel deadbolt films if you go to youtube and search for that you'll be able to actually watch some of the features and short films that we've done music videos etc amanda
which was our found footage film that we dropped most recently. Just submit that to the film festival, found footage film festival actually.
Perfect. And also our Star Wars horror film Sanctuary Moon is on there. If you like Predator, you like Ewoks, and you like Star Wars and horror, that's the place for you. And we are also part of Patreon.
So if you wish to support us via Patreon in a monetary fashion, a financial fashion.
We would really appreciate it. You do not have to do it, but there are perks to becoming a patron supporter, such as, like Kevin, next episode you'll get to pick two films that we review. We have several.
patrons so we we go in rotation everybody gets a turn in fact a lot of them are on their second or third turn now which is really cool and as i've said recently our patron episodes are the ones that have been getting the big numbers which is crazy really
not only will you get to tell us what to watch and review we'll read out whatever you want you know send us an email or whatever it is a letter send a pigeon whatever it might be you also get a
t-shirt free t-shirt in one of three colors sent to you in your size wherever you are in the world there's exclusive bonus content we are talking about getting that
up and running again because we've been a bit slack on that recently so there's exclusive bonus content just mini podcast episodes and videos that you can watch via patreon once you become a supporter um
and you get your name read out at the end of every single episode which i'll do in just a moment so thank you to all of our patreon supporters for doing so um for as little as a pound or a dollar a month you can do that so thank you very much to sheila thank you
Dante. Thank you. Don Collier. Thank you. Matthew Godley. Thank you. Jamie Jenkins. Thank you. Kevin S. Fyfe. Thank you. Sarah Kay. Thank you. Rachel. Thank you.
RJ McCready. Thank you. And Lex Poole. Thank you.
thank you all so much thank you to everybody for listening supporting sharing joining the paper page yeah we're putting up with us yeah we're bearing with us get some more little mini content uh episode things going on i'll start doing a few more little reviews and things
for patrons only and and hopefully on a different note as we mentioned earlier october is coming up if you are taking part in 31 in 31 or or just 31 days of horror again there are no set rules you can just watch three films
one film you can watch a film on halloween night you can play a halloween game play a halloween video game you can read a book a comic or you can watch one film every day for 31 days um it is entirely up to you music whatever you want just
celebrate halloween with us share what you're doing on facebook page i always i will go on i will be watching uh my theme this year i have a theme most years now i did the universe or did the horror werewolves this year
as i mentioned stephen king i've selected 33 stephen king horror films adaptations of his books that are now horror films and i'll be watching them over the 31 days
Gav has no agenda. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. No, it's a thing for me. If I start doing a whole thing and planning it, then it turns into a thing. I don't know. It becomes a problem in my little autistic head.
But what I tend to do is I like to do 31 things. I generally try and go for 31 films in October. That's kind of my thing, not one every day. I try to do one every day, but sometimes, obviously, that can be really hard if you just...
just can't get a movie instead. So I try to do 31 through the month. And if I do a TV show, I generally try and do the whole season and class that as just one number because I'm savage. But... really comes down to time so if you can't do it don't worry about it
But what I do sometimes is, if I've got a day where I can't watch anything, I'll watch two or three films the following day. Although this year, I'll be busy with work. Last year, I was in between jobs, so I watched almost 100 things. But that was because I was also watching...
the simpsons tree house of horror for the first time ever yeah and i got through every single episode of that which was great um yeah i i haven't a plan yet really
But I'll get the crown shined up ready for Kevin for the next episode. I think I'll just get my favourites.
one thing i do like is i'm a big fan when it comes sort of that time when it starts getting it's starting to at the moment it's getting really windy the leaves are falling down it's getting dark and wet not really cold yet though which is quite nice but it still gets that sort of feeling
I do like being in bed at night and watching an old black and white horror film. Yeah, but then you've got... Over the years, I have to watch things like Hubie Halloween.
halloween itself i always think i'm not going to watch it and then
11pm on Halloween comes and I've watched whatever it is I wanted to watch and I think, wow, I might as well squeeze in John Carpenter's Halloween. I've got to watch it. Yeah, I did last year and I think I fell asleep before the end. Trick or Treat is another one I like to watch. Yeah.
So although I'll be watching Stephen King movies mainly, I will probably have a little tangent here and there. I might watch a few bits with the kids as well.
see if they they might like hubby halloween this year they might be a bit last year they were a bit scared of it they liked um goosebumps last year so we'll see well that's that so yeah stay tuned for more fun and halloween's coming and um thanks other than that
going on this ride with us a Roland Emmerich ride yeah so it's a good night from Roland Emmerich with big explosions behind him it's a good night from Godzilla brilliant it's a good night from Jeff
Goblin? It's a good night from Big Willie. Slap your face, motherfucker. Get out of your mouth.
And it's a good night from the worm guy whose heart was broken by Audrey, that bitch that stole the videotape from him. And it's a good night from Hank Azar doing a million voices. And Jon Renau drinking disgusting coffee. And it's a good night from you. It's a good night from you.
I did it the other way around then. Goodbye. So thanks, everybody. Remember, check under your bed because Godzilla might be under the bed. Godzilla might be under the bed. Or Will Smith. Will Smith might be under the bed. I'll take Will Smith.
No, keep your, his wife's name out of your mouth. Good night. Thank you for listening to the podcast on Haunted Hill. We will be back again real soon.
Tears, please.