Are you a purposeful and present (P2) dad? Being a dad is the only thing that we do at best responsively, at worst, reactively. So how do we move from reactive to responsive? How do we become more present? What can we do to change the way we show up?
Jeff Hamilton is a husband, father, pastor, high school sports coach, and founder of the ”Dad Academy.” Jeff founded Dad Academy to help men become the fathers they wanted to be. Because men function best when they know what’s expected of them and have a plan to accomplish that.
So he took his graduate degree in Strategic and Organizational Leadership and created a workbook that helps men write a business plan for being a better dad. Learn all about the principles he teaches in his academy in this episode of Dads on Tap.
You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in...
- Jeff’s relationship with his dad [4:13]
- Learning about Jeff’s wife and children [7:55]
- The background of Dad Academy [10:12]
- Understanding your mission as a dad [12:51]
- Preparing your kids for adulthood [14:20]
- Defining your family culture and values [20:54]
- What Jeff would’ve done differently [28:35]
- The lightning round [35:57]
Understanding your mission as a dad
Jeff credits “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” for heavily shaping him (and believes it should be on everyone’s reading list). One of the principles outlined in the book is to “begin with the end in mind.”
What is the end outcome of being a dad? For Jeff, the answer is “Raising healthy adults to contribute to their community who speak life and bring value to their relationships.” If that’s the end in mind, every step you take along the way must help you accomplish that goal.
You’re partnering with God’s mission. He entrusted these lives to us. It’s a wonderful privilege and responsibility. Jeff firmly believes that your success in life will be measured by the kind of kids you raise. They are how you will be remembered.
Preparing your kids for adulthood
A dad’s mission is to pass on his values and skills to his children. As a parent, you’re developing courage in the life of your kids. They have to learn how to make decisions. That starts from the very beginning. Even the little things like teaching a child to cross the street, tie their shoes, or hold their silverware are important. After all, everything a child knows how to do is learned somewhere.
It isn’t just about learning hard skills like learning to paint, changing the oil in a car, or using a drill. Your kids also need emotional intelligence. They need to learn soft skills, relational skills, etc.
You have to intentionally share everything you know how to do. And when there are things you don’t know how to do, invite other people into your family’s life to give them those skills that you’re lacking. It truly takes a village to raise a child.
Defining your family culture
What are your norms? What are acceptable behaviors? The norm in Jeff’s family culture is “Everyone contributes.” Your expectations of a five-year-old will be different from a 15-year-old but everyone contributes in some way.
Culture also has to do with language. What tone is acceptable? How do we navigate conversations and communication?
Rituals and traditions are also important. These things define and remind you who you are. How does your family celebrate holidays? What special things do you do for birthdays? Memories are associated with those traditions.
Part of your family culture is memory-making. Traditions and rituals are one way to create a resource bank of memories. But Jeff believes that vacations are key. You have to set aside intentional time and create space for memories to be made. The things you’ll remember about your family will be the things you did throughout the years that connect you to your identity.
It doesn’t need to be extravagant—but it must be meaningful. Do something that shows your family they are a priority.
Learn more of the things you need to think about to be a better dad and raise amazing humans in this episode of Dads on Tap.
Resources & People Mentioned
Connect with Jeff Hamilton
Connect With Scott and Dads on Tap
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