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Cailin: Welcome everyone to
Faith and Purpose podcast.

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Each episode of this podcast contains the
personal testimony of an ordinary person

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transformed by an extraordinary God.

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My name is Kaylin and I'm
here to introduce this podcast

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for my friend Jesse Duke.

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Jesse is a husband, father, author,
life recovery guide, lay counselor,

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and small group leader, but his
most important role is disciple.

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As a disciple of Jesus.

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Jesse created this podcast to help other
believers tell their faith stories.

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We'll be hearing the personal
testimonies of all sorts of people

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who have one thing in common,
Jesus has transformed their lives.

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Jesus used parables because he created
us to learn best through story.

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And as we listen to how God has worked
in others lives, we find encouragement

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and inspiration for our own faith walk.

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Whether you are already a believer or
just a curious seeker, we believe that

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as you listen to these stories, you will
be encouraged on your own faith journey.

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We are sure that God can speak to you
through one of these episodes and that you

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will see that our Heavenly Father truly
works all things together for our good.

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When we simply love and trust him.

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If you are currently going through a
trial, we believe that you will come

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to see that your troubles, heartbreaks,
and failures are not gravestones, but

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stepping stones into new life in Christ.

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Here's Jesse with today's guest.

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Welcome everybody to
faith and purpose podcast.

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Today.

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I have my friend Patrick
Kelly here to tell his story.

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I'm looking forward to it.

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Well, thank you, Jesse.

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This is an honor.

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I'm really glad to be here to do this.

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I guess I'll just start
from the beginning.

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I was born in California in 1973.

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the only reason I was born out there is
my dad was in the air force at the time.

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but him and my mom both grew up here.

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So as soon as he was done with the air
force, I moved back here when I was five.

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I was able to start
kindergarten at that time.

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I had a great childhood.

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A normal childhood, like.

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Pretty much what anybody had.

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I was very active kid loved to
be outdoors, and I love sports.

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And, from the very early age I
got right into doing those things.

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Found surfing at a very young age.

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And to this day I still do it.

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And I'm glad that I found that that
was an outlet that I knew that, um,

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I truly needed throughout my life.

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And it really connected me with the.

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With the outer world and I, and I
just love that aspect of my life.

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Um,

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My parents divorced when I
was probably around 11 or 12.

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It really shaped my childhood.

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It just.

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I was lost for a little while.

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You know, like my walls
came tumbling down.

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I'd so to speak.

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So I'm back and forth every other
weekend with my mother and my father.

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The father was kind of
striked I'll I'll say this.

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Uh, my dad's side of the family, my
dad's dad was a, an Episcopal priest.

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In fact, he was the
Episcopal priest here at St.

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Peter's church.

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For a number of years.

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He retired.

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When I was 15.

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So.

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I grew up in the church.

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I had a, a God of my understanding.

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I had a spiritual life.

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Um, And I'll explain to this
later, but I just didn't feel super

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connected, especially after he retired.

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So my dad had a very structured
life and when I was with my mom

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on the other weekends, so she kind
of gave me a little more freedom.

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So I had this.

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This kind of double.

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Double childhood life.

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It was pretty cool.

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But, I graduated high school.

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in 1991.

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And, uh, that was the year the Ritz
Carlton opened up here on Amelia island.

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And I tried college.

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I tried to go to school to be a fireman.

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I did complete that, but as I got
out, I had a couple of friends

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get killed in a car accident.

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And I thought, maybe this
isn't really the job for me.

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Um, I started with the
Ritz Carlton in 1993.

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I was 20 years old.

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And.

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That job shaped me to
be the man I am today.

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Um, I was very thankful the way I
was raised, but like, yo yes, sir.

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No, sir.

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Yes.

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Ma'am no, ma'am I was able to, I
was really able to fall in to that.

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To that role, you know, wear black socks.

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You know, tuck your shirt in, wear
a belt, you know, comb your hair.

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All those things came into play.

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And as I got older, I was very
thankful to be raised like that.

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Um, I worked through its culture for a few
years, and then I transferred out west.

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I moved out to California.

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Um, when I was around 22.

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lived out there for a few years,
just living the free life surfer life

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worked at a really nice Ritz Carlton
out there called Laguna Niguel.

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And a very, very nice part of California.

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I was about an hour south of LA and
about an hour north of San Diego.

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So I'm lived out there for a few years.

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I had a great time.

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Um, but then, you know, home
just tends to drive somebody

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back and it drove me back home.

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Um, stayed with the Ritz
I'm back in Florida.

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About 25, I think at the time.

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And, um, things are just going great.

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You know, I'm just living this free life.

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Just.

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You know, making good money at the Ritz.

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basically doing anything that I wanted
to do, I'd say a few years go by and

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I, I make this quick because I'm.

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Probably around.

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29 or 30 now.

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I'm your typical?

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I was never like a hard partier.

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In high school or anything.

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And.

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And I love to have a good time
and I could manage my drinking

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or anything I was doing.

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Oh, outside of that.

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But around 29 or 30, I, uh, somehow got
wrapped up in pharmaceutical painkillers.

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Um, and I hate to be very direct, but
I just feel like I need to say that.

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And I had never been really
riddled with addiction until then.

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I never had anything grab
a hold of me that just.

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Like basically the partying
was done after a few years.

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So probably in my early thirties,
I would say around 2006, I tried

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to get off of myself and I did
for a very short period of time.

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Um, but I wasn't very successful.

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Um, let's back on him again.

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And then 2007, I went to my very
first detox center in Miami.

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I was there for about 10 days.

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And when I came back, I'd like to say
that I got sober, but it only lasted

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about another five or six months.

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Back on him again, 2008, I went
to my second treatment facility.

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I went to a Willingway hospital, which
is in Statesboro, Georgia in 2008.

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Um, stayed there for 30 days.

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And within two months of being back.

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I was using again.

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2009.

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Unfortunately, I lost my job at the
Ritz-Carlton due to my use drug use.

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they let me go.

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I felt like I was under the influence.

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They took me out.

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They drug tested me and I
failed and I lost that job.

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Losing everything very quickly
due to this drug addiction.

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Um, I moved in with my
mom after about a year.

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She'd had enough.

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I mean, I moved out.

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Basically on the street.

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I moved in with a friend for a
very short period of time and that

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didn't work out and I was on the
street and in 2010, I got arrested.

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they caught me squatting in
a condo here in the island.

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And when I got arrested, I was
facing seven felony charges.

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Uh, things I'll really want
go into, but obviously theft.

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Uh, fraudulent use of a
credit card, forged check.

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Um, Just if it was crazy
now, let me say this.

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I had never been arrested in my life
and the first time I got arrested, I got

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sentenced to a year in the county jail.

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but during that, my family was able to
work out a deal with the state that I,

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after I got done doing a year in their
county jail, that I would be able to

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go to a six month treatment facility
because they wanted to let these notice.

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These, these.

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Actions would not have happened.

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Had he not been a drug addict
and they were okay with that.

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So that was the first time that I went
to a long-term treatment facility.

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I went to a place called the bridges
of hope and Chauncey, Georgia.

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And I was in there for about six months.

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And I got released in February of 2012.

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Um, Parents are being
very supportive, still.

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Dad gave me a job.

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He had his own pest control company here
on Amelia island and he gave me a job.

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But by April of that year,
I was already using again.

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I've been away for 17 months.

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And I just treated, I
didn't treat treatment.

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It was the first time I ever got
introduced to the big book of alcoholics

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anonymous, but I still think I was
using it as like I was just buying time.

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If you don't mind me interrupting.

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I just curious.

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Cause I think people might.

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have the same question when you
get out of a treatment center and

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you've been claimed for awhile.

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What is the thought process
that you go through to get.

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Where you start using again?

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What does that.

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Look like.

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Just no connection.

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You know, trying to find your
way, you know, I would go, I'm

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just going to AA the first time.

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That I went to AA was 2007 and I
would just be in and out of the rooms.

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Um,

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I don't know at th it's just, it's it
kind of be welders me a little bit that.

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You just want the pain
to go away, I guess.

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Um, I wouldn't say I ever was like
very depressed or anything, but a

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lot of times you just get lonely.

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And, um, you just want to
change the way you feel.

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Okay.

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There it is.

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Yeah.

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I just wanted to change the way I felt.

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And I'll get to that later.

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so here we are 2012, They're struggling
with addiction again all summer long.

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And then by that fall, my dad had had
enough of me and, and, um, He fired me.

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When your own dad fires you.

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That's that's tough.

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I'm looking for job again, I ended
up working for a really nice, uh,

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formal restaurant here in the Melia
island no, you got to understand

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I was on probation at this time.

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And I was.

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Uh, Joe basically rolling the dice
every month that I went in, um, my

00:10:32.574 --> 00:10:35.784
parents were drug testing me that
summer and I was failing their tests,

00:10:35.784 --> 00:10:37.764
but I was passing the probation test.

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Um, I don't know what they were testing
for at probation, but I was rolling

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the dice and if I had violated my
probation, it would not have been good.

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So here I am working for a formal
restaurant here on the island,

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and I worked for them for that.

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The next.

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five to six years.

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Um, And all this time.

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I'm just deep in addiction.

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I'm living with my mom.

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I just really not doing it right.

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If you know what I mean.

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and I hate to say this, but
from 2007 to 2018, I picked up

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a methamphetamine addiction.

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Which dot was probably the worst of the
worst than the darkest had ever got.

00:11:17.974 --> 00:11:21.724
June 25th, 2018, I suffered
a near death overdose.

00:11:23.734 --> 00:11:24.274
Um,

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It's kind of hard to talk about today.

00:11:27.364 --> 00:11:27.694
but.

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When the paramedics got there, I was
taking one breath, every 15 seconds.

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And they, I was told they used four
times the legal dose of Narcan.

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Um, had my stepbrother not been there.

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Who was providing me CPR phone.

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I found out later, um, I
probably would not have made it.

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Um, so I'll wake up in a hospital.

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Not knowing how I got there.

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I got my aunt on one side and my
mom on the other, and they told me I

00:11:54.454 --> 00:11:56.134
had suffered a near death overdose.

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Uh, No money at this time, obviously.

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Um, so I didn't have any way any means
to get into a treatment facility.

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So I try to.

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Uh, I went out to this Christian.

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Uh, tr rehab out here off of 17, I
think it's called set free by the sea.

00:12:15.814 --> 00:12:18.064
Um, and I ended up
staying there just a week.

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'cause I get there.

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There's no big book.

00:12:20.554 --> 00:12:21.724
There's no steps.

00:12:22.084 --> 00:12:25.084
The only way they tell me
to get well from my disease.

00:12:25.654 --> 00:12:26.884
Of drug addiction is.

00:12:27.394 --> 00:12:28.174
Jesus Christ.

00:12:29.614 --> 00:12:32.494
And I just, to be honest with you,
I just wasn't having it at the time.

00:12:32.524 --> 00:12:33.784
I didn't want to go that route.

00:12:34.054 --> 00:12:35.734
So in the middle of
the night, I stuck out.

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Two suitcases and a duffle bag.

00:12:38.224 --> 00:12:40.324
And I walked 12 miles all
the way back to the island.

00:12:41.464 --> 00:12:43.954
Ended back in it, on my mom's back forge.

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She gets up the next morning and.

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She's just so disgusted with me and
she's like, I can't do this anymore.

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So I was basically on the street
for a very short period of time.

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Again.

00:12:54.574 --> 00:12:58.114
Um, it's strictly hot out in
the summer, you know, here.

00:12:58.174 --> 00:13:01.894
So I checked myself into a
hotel off of airport road.

00:13:02.284 --> 00:13:05.164
And the only person that was talking
to me at the time was my stepmother.

00:13:06.334 --> 00:13:08.554
And I begged and pleaded
her that I needed help.

00:13:08.944 --> 00:13:09.484
And.

00:13:10.324 --> 00:13:14.014
So I was supposed to get into this one
facility and I was struggling with my

00:13:14.014 --> 00:13:15.544
insurance and there was a lot of little.

00:13:16.204 --> 00:13:17.404
Things that weren't working out.

00:13:17.494 --> 00:13:21.574
And so the day that she met up with me,
she had happened to call the bridges

00:13:21.574 --> 00:13:23.344
of hope, which is only two hours away.

00:13:23.344 --> 00:13:25.594
She basically just said, you
know, get your butt in the car

00:13:25.774 --> 00:13:26.674
with one of the bridges of hope.

00:13:28.444 --> 00:13:30.874
Now as I go there, I'm still
thinking about my mind.

00:13:30.874 --> 00:13:32.794
Well, I'm just going to, it's
a six month facility, but I'm

00:13:32.794 --> 00:13:33.934
only going to stay two months.

00:13:33.964 --> 00:13:35.074
I still was in.

00:13:35.434 --> 00:13:36.154
In charge.

00:13:36.154 --> 00:13:36.544
Do you know?

00:13:36.604 --> 00:13:39.664
I just wanted to get the heat
off my back and get back to work.

00:13:40.684 --> 00:13:44.734
Um, At the two month mark, my
stepmother had come to pick me up.

00:13:45.484 --> 00:13:49.144
And cause, you know, obviously she's
not going to pay any more, but the, the

00:13:49.144 --> 00:13:52.474
guy running the facility allowed me to
stay basically scholarship to me and.

00:13:53.434 --> 00:13:56.194
God doing for me, what I couldn't do
for myself, I'll get back to this.

00:13:56.194 --> 00:13:57.754
God was always had his hand in this.

00:13:57.964 --> 00:13:59.674
I ended up staying nine months, Jesse.

00:14:00.964 --> 00:14:02.374
Had I not stayed that long.

00:14:02.434 --> 00:14:05.734
And this is where I really got into
the big book of alcoholics anonymous.

00:14:06.184 --> 00:14:07.384
Um, I tell a funny story.

00:14:07.504 --> 00:14:07.984
Uh, denied.

00:14:07.984 --> 00:14:10.624
I struck out from that Christian
rehab, I'm walking over the bridge, the

00:14:10.624 --> 00:14:12.124
shade bridge onto the Amelia island.

00:14:12.544 --> 00:14:14.344
And I remember telling God, listen, God.

00:14:14.644 --> 00:14:15.994
I've got no problem with you.

00:14:16.954 --> 00:14:19.534
I just need to understand
what is wrong with me.

00:14:20.014 --> 00:14:22.084
I've been struggling for years with this.

00:14:22.084 --> 00:14:23.014
What is wrong with me?

00:14:23.524 --> 00:14:26.194
And when I was at the bridges of hope,
you know, you get into the big book of

00:14:26.194 --> 00:14:30.334
alcoholics anonymous and they teach you
that you have a physical allergy fall by

00:14:30.334 --> 00:14:35.284
a phenomena, crabbing, mental obsession,
but more importantly, A spiritual malady.

00:14:36.694 --> 00:14:38.254
Um, I'm a spiritually sick.

00:14:39.514 --> 00:14:43.414
Um, I get out of the bridges
of hope of may of 2019.

00:14:43.414 --> 00:14:45.364
And I'm on fire for recovery.

00:14:45.694 --> 00:14:46.564
Like I'm loving it.

00:14:46.564 --> 00:14:47.434
I'm going to AA.

00:14:47.464 --> 00:14:47.854
I'm doing it.

00:14:47.914 --> 00:14:49.684
I'm doing everything that's asked of me.

00:14:50.284 --> 00:14:53.464
Um, I even started sponsoring guys.

00:14:54.184 --> 00:14:57.874
Um, I was just doing everything
I felt that was right.

00:14:57.904 --> 00:15:00.214
Uh, I found a guy that I really admired.

00:15:00.214 --> 00:15:01.654
I worked the steps through him.

00:15:02.824 --> 00:15:06.964
But, you know, there's steps are to
designed to provide you an awakening.

00:15:06.964 --> 00:15:10.654
And I think really all it did for me
at that time was just boost my ego.

00:15:11.404 --> 00:15:13.834
Now I've done this four
step that nobody's done.

00:15:14.194 --> 00:15:17.584
Uh, you know, I just, I
just, I, I just don't.

00:15:17.674 --> 00:15:21.754
I just think it got me to a place
where I, I couldn't learn anymore.

00:15:22.984 --> 00:15:24.364
And I'll get to that later.

00:15:24.514 --> 00:15:27.754
Um, So I'm doing okay.

00:15:27.754 --> 00:15:28.594
I'm doing great.

00:15:28.624 --> 00:15:29.494
I'm on fire.

00:15:30.184 --> 00:15:32.764
Um, I stay with my mom for a
very short period of time just

00:15:32.764 --> 00:15:33.964
to get money back in my pocket.

00:15:33.964 --> 00:15:34.444
And then.

00:15:35.254 --> 00:15:38.974
February of 2020, I move out of
my mom's house and I get my own

00:15:38.974 --> 00:15:40.204
apartment here on the island.

00:15:40.204 --> 00:15:41.914
And three weeks later, COVID hits.

00:15:43.114 --> 00:15:44.734
And I'm like, God really.

00:15:45.244 --> 00:15:48.424
Like I get sober and now this
hits, I mean, we're not working

00:15:48.424 --> 00:15:49.444
and anybody knows COVID.

00:15:49.474 --> 00:15:50.974
I don't like the whole world shut down.

00:15:52.114 --> 00:15:52.804
And I'll be honest with you.

00:15:52.804 --> 00:15:53.974
It was a little fear in there.

00:15:55.024 --> 00:15:58.744
Um, But I was able to
get through that summer.

00:16:00.004 --> 00:16:01.084
And early fall.

00:16:01.084 --> 00:16:03.514
And by that fall, I
thought, you know what?

00:16:04.684 --> 00:16:06.034
Maybe I've ever thought this thing.

00:16:07.534 --> 00:16:08.554
I'm off the drugs.

00:16:08.554 --> 00:16:09.544
I'm doing great.

00:16:10.624 --> 00:16:13.114
Uh, my mind goes back
to when was I happiest?

00:16:13.594 --> 00:16:16.354
It was in my late twenties when I
was just doing a little drinking.

00:16:17.104 --> 00:16:18.244
And enjoying life.

00:16:18.604 --> 00:16:22.684
So I decided to pick up drink and I
start drinking within a few months,

00:16:22.684 --> 00:16:26.044
I realized that drink was taking me
to the same place that the drugs did.

00:16:27.664 --> 00:16:30.334
Um, you're 2021.

00:16:30.514 --> 00:16:35.104
I go to multiple detox
facilities of my alcoholism.

00:16:35.154 --> 00:16:37.764
I go to detox four times in five months.

00:16:38.394 --> 00:16:38.934
That summer.

00:16:39.924 --> 00:16:42.714
Now during the summer, it
gets really bad for me.

00:16:43.074 --> 00:16:45.264
Um, may of 2021.

00:16:46.494 --> 00:16:48.174
Um, I lost my stepbrother.

00:16:49.224 --> 00:16:52.674
He had gotten arrested and they had put
him in Duvall county jail and they had

00:16:52.674 --> 00:16:54.264
to separate him from general population.

00:16:54.264 --> 00:16:57.994
Cause I guess they had what they
call Marceau And in the course of

00:16:57.994 --> 00:17:02.584
him being by himself and I'm sure he
was detoxing off, um, heavy drugs.

00:17:02.584 --> 00:17:03.844
He took his own life.

00:17:04.114 --> 00:17:04.774
In the jail cell.

00:17:06.694 --> 00:17:08.554
You would think that would wake me up?

00:17:09.124 --> 00:17:11.764
Um, and how fortunate I was.

00:17:13.084 --> 00:17:14.404
Um, but it did not.

00:17:14.644 --> 00:17:16.294
Um, the drinking continued.

00:17:17.674 --> 00:17:20.254
And three months later, I
got a knock at the door.

00:17:20.254 --> 00:17:22.414
I had three friends
show up on my doorstep.

00:17:23.014 --> 00:17:26.014
And they had, let me know
that my dad had died of COVID.

00:17:26.314 --> 00:17:27.904
My dad had got hospitalized.

00:17:28.504 --> 00:17:29.584
About a month before.

00:17:29.584 --> 00:17:31.684
And so September 9th, I
get a knock at the door.

00:17:32.524 --> 00:17:34.504
Saying that my dad had
passed due to COVID.

00:17:36.874 --> 00:17:37.684
Uh,

00:17:39.544 --> 00:17:41.044
My world just came tumbling down.

00:17:42.784 --> 00:17:45.304
It does something to a man
when he loses his father.

00:17:46.354 --> 00:17:47.434
I just really does.

00:17:48.394 --> 00:17:50.344
Um, me and my dad weren't super close.

00:17:50.824 --> 00:17:55.234
Um, Growing up, but he was
always a major part of my life.

00:17:56.074 --> 00:17:58.744
And I really admire that man,
more than he will ever know.

00:18:00.634 --> 00:18:01.924
Drinking continues.

00:18:02.044 --> 00:18:03.664
You would think that would wake up.

00:18:04.264 --> 00:18:05.734
And I.

00:18:07.084 --> 00:18:09.964
Lose another job downtown that
I was working at a restaurant.

00:18:11.044 --> 00:18:14.434
Um, I started another job where they
immediately know that I'm drinking and

00:18:14.434 --> 00:18:16.024
I struggled for the next two years.

00:18:16.024 --> 00:18:16.474
Jessie.

00:18:17.824 --> 00:18:21.184
On and off drinking on and off
detox, detox, drink and drinking.

00:18:22.594 --> 00:18:25.624
Um, finally in.

00:18:26.584 --> 00:18:28.654
September of 2023.

00:18:29.914 --> 00:18:32.584
I had a dear friend that
was able to come by.

00:18:33.694 --> 00:18:35.824
I was, I was rock bottom with my drinking.

00:18:36.844 --> 00:18:39.244
Um, There's a funny story.

00:18:39.844 --> 00:18:41.914
He got so bad that I was basically just.

00:18:43.064 --> 00:18:47.174
buying cheap Barrett the Jiffy and buying
those cheap fireballs at, at the counter.

00:18:47.204 --> 00:18:51.674
And if you really look at the,
the cover, those, uh, fireballs.

00:18:52.394 --> 00:18:53.594
Um, it has the devil on it.

00:18:55.574 --> 00:18:59.414
So, let me backtrack a little bit before
I get into this before I really dive

00:18:59.414 --> 00:19:01.064
into what I really want to talk about.

00:19:02.774 --> 00:19:06.434
I had came out of detox in 2022
with a good friend of mine.

00:19:06.464 --> 00:19:10.184
He had come and picked me up
and I immediately realized

00:19:10.184 --> 00:19:11.534
that I do have a bad problem.

00:19:11.534 --> 00:19:13.004
So let me go to AA.

00:19:14.234 --> 00:19:14.954
So.

00:19:15.644 --> 00:19:16.484
22.

00:19:16.814 --> 00:19:19.694
C 22 going into 23.

00:19:19.724 --> 00:19:22.244
I'm trying to go to AA and
I'm just like, I'm just not

00:19:22.244 --> 00:19:23.564
really finding my place in it.

00:19:23.984 --> 00:19:26.144
And I feel like there was
something more that I was missing.

00:19:27.044 --> 00:19:30.254
There's a friend of mine that
I was riding e-bikes with.

00:19:30.254 --> 00:19:33.674
I have an electric bike and we were
riding the bikes and I came to his house.

00:19:34.364 --> 00:19:35.504
And he lived around the corner.

00:19:35.504 --> 00:19:39.014
He lives around the corner from me and,
um, He's like, what do you want to watch?

00:19:39.014 --> 00:19:40.094
So he puts on YouTube.

00:19:40.124 --> 00:19:40.244
Now.

00:19:40.274 --> 00:19:41.414
This is really crazy.

00:19:42.584 --> 00:19:43.664
He puts on.

00:19:44.684 --> 00:19:45.704
Billy Graham.

00:19:46.994 --> 00:19:49.244
1971, Chicago.

00:19:50.294 --> 00:19:51.614
Who is Jesus Christ.

00:19:52.784 --> 00:19:54.884
Now I'd always thought Christ was cool.

00:19:54.914 --> 00:19:56.174
You know, I always admired him.

00:19:56.174 --> 00:19:57.584
I thought everything was great.

00:19:58.064 --> 00:20:00.674
Um, I'm already watching
this show called the chosen.

00:20:00.734 --> 00:20:02.084
I don't know if anybody had seen that.

00:20:02.294 --> 00:20:07.214
I had, I had started watching that
during COVID in 2020, just upon seasons,

00:20:07.214 --> 00:20:08.774
but I was just looking at it and just.

00:20:09.254 --> 00:20:10.214
Checking it out.

00:20:11.084 --> 00:20:12.764
But I was really getting into this show.

00:20:13.274 --> 00:20:17.984
And it was like for the first time in my
life, I had eyes to see and ears to hear.

00:20:20.414 --> 00:20:22.364
It really chokes me off a little bit.

00:20:22.364 --> 00:20:25.124
So I'm like, you know, the old me would
have looked like, man, out of all the

00:20:25.124 --> 00:20:27.644
things we're going to watch on YouTube,
we're going to watch Billy Graham.

00:20:28.574 --> 00:20:31.814
And it's about 40 to 44 minutes long.

00:20:31.874 --> 00:20:33.854
And I ended up watching
the whole thing with him.

00:20:34.634 --> 00:20:37.214
And this is, and I ended up
going home that night laying

00:20:37.214 --> 00:20:38.564
in bed and I watch it again.

00:20:38.864 --> 00:20:40.724
Like it was just so into my heart.

00:20:40.724 --> 00:20:42.974
It was like, something was speaking to me.

00:20:43.244 --> 00:20:46.304
And this is what Billy Graham, this
is how he starts out that sermon.

00:20:46.724 --> 00:20:48.344
He says for the next hour.

00:20:48.794 --> 00:20:50.564
It's going to be an
hour to decision-making.

00:20:51.704 --> 00:20:53.534
Some of you will accept Christ.

00:20:54.104 --> 00:20:55.574
And some of you are rejecting.

00:20:56.384 --> 00:20:59.804
And even if you walk away today,
You will never be the same.

00:21:01.484 --> 00:21:03.764
And I've listened to that
sermon so many times.

00:21:04.334 --> 00:21:06.764
I thought I knew who Jesus Christ was.

00:21:07.514 --> 00:21:08.624
But boy was I wrong?

00:21:09.824 --> 00:21:13.184
So I'm listening to Billy
Graham classics every night.

00:21:13.184 --> 00:21:13.574
Now.

00:21:14.114 --> 00:21:15.704
Um, watching the chosen.

00:21:16.184 --> 00:21:19.724
I had found this other pasture
that goes on these college campuses

00:21:19.724 --> 00:21:23.324
that debates these college kids
about who God is his name's cliff.

00:21:23.324 --> 00:21:26.804
I think pastor cliff nettle, if I can
pronounce Nectaly or something like that.

00:21:27.464 --> 00:21:28.814
So I'm just soaking it up.

00:21:28.844 --> 00:21:31.274
Jesse, I'm just thirsty
for knowledge of who this.

00:21:32.564 --> 00:21:33.794
Jesus Christ, you know?

00:21:35.474 --> 00:21:37.304
So everything's going great.

00:21:37.334 --> 00:21:38.324
I'm still not drinking.

00:21:38.324 --> 00:21:39.284
I'm doing good.

00:21:39.494 --> 00:21:42.044
And I turned 50 years old last year.

00:21:43.754 --> 00:21:46.064
My birthday landed on April.

00:21:46.154 --> 00:21:48.494
I mean, uh, April 9th,
which happened to be.

00:21:49.214 --> 00:21:51.224
Easter Sunday, I turned 50 years old.

00:21:51.254 --> 00:21:52.304
You think God had a plan?

00:21:53.414 --> 00:21:55.484
Um, so I have this cool birthday party.

00:21:56.234 --> 00:21:59.054
Um, I knew it was kind of supposed to
be a surprise, but I knew I was having

00:21:59.054 --> 00:22:00.344
it, but I didn't know who was attending.

00:22:01.604 --> 00:22:04.274
And in attendance, there was a good
friend of mine that I've known my

00:22:04.274 --> 00:22:06.584
whole life, him and his wife show up.

00:22:07.484 --> 00:22:09.674
And, um, he pulls me off to the side.

00:22:10.094 --> 00:22:12.284
And he asked me
immediately, where am I at?

00:22:13.694 --> 00:22:15.464
I knew exactly what he's talking about.

00:22:16.544 --> 00:22:20.264
And so I kind of filled him
in briefly and he said, pat, I

00:22:20.264 --> 00:22:21.734
got a guy for you to listen to.

00:22:22.874 --> 00:22:23.354
And.

00:22:24.014 --> 00:22:27.344
He tells me it's his name is
pastor Joby Martin church, 1122.

00:22:27.344 --> 00:22:31.094
And I said, man, you're the third guy
that's told me about this numbers church.

00:22:31.904 --> 00:22:35.294
So I take his word and
I immediately go home.

00:22:35.294 --> 00:22:37.964
I get the app and I start
watching pastor Joby Martin.

00:22:38.804 --> 00:22:42.464
And man, I'm going to tell you what
something came alive inside of me.

00:22:42.734 --> 00:22:44.294
I had never heard a guy.

00:22:44.654 --> 00:22:45.614
Preach like this.

00:22:46.274 --> 00:22:49.904
Just the way that he would deliver the
word of God, he'd make it so funny.

00:22:49.904 --> 00:22:51.344
He'd make it so relatable.

00:22:52.214 --> 00:22:57.884
And I'm I was on fire and he
three weeks later, He takes me

00:22:57.884 --> 00:23:00.644
to see Joby Martin at the church.

00:23:00.674 --> 00:23:01.514
We go to this big church.

00:23:01.544 --> 00:23:03.044
Now I walk in and I'm going
to be honest with you.

00:23:03.044 --> 00:23:04.394
I'm not a big fan of these.

00:23:05.294 --> 00:23:07.784
Big huge mega church as they call them.

00:23:08.504 --> 00:23:11.504
I used to always turn my back
on that like, oh God, here comes

00:23:11.504 --> 00:23:12.764
the money aspect, you know?

00:23:13.304 --> 00:23:15.524
Um, But I walked in there.

00:23:15.554 --> 00:23:18.704
He has a seat, him and his, him and his
wife, how he had their little area, they

00:23:18.704 --> 00:23:20.834
sat and I sit down and then the music.

00:23:20.924 --> 00:23:23.144
Uh, the music starts the worship music.

00:23:25.634 --> 00:23:25.934
Um,

00:23:29.714 --> 00:23:32.114
I stand up and everybody's singing.

00:23:32.234 --> 00:23:34.964
I look around and this
church holds 3000 people.

00:23:35.954 --> 00:23:36.644
Plus one.

00:23:37.094 --> 00:23:39.914
So 3001, there's always
the one more, right.

00:23:40.394 --> 00:23:43.994
And, um, I look around and I'm
having this talk with myself.

00:23:44.354 --> 00:23:46.064
And I'm seeing all these people
saying, and I'm thinking.

00:23:46.904 --> 00:23:48.134
Oh, this is for real.

00:23:48.914 --> 00:23:49.844
This is a thing.

00:23:50.354 --> 00:23:50.714
Like.

00:23:51.644 --> 00:23:53.444
I could feel the power.

00:23:54.044 --> 00:23:54.764
In that building.

00:23:56.204 --> 00:23:57.704
And I was like, wow.

00:23:58.274 --> 00:24:00.014
And then of course Joby comes out.

00:24:00.014 --> 00:24:02.564
And to me, he, at this time
he was like a rock star.

00:24:02.594 --> 00:24:03.944
I just loved to listen to him.

00:24:03.974 --> 00:24:04.574
Preach.

00:24:05.114 --> 00:24:06.104
And I'll get back.

00:24:06.104 --> 00:24:09.464
But in this sermon he says something
that I'll get back to you later.

00:24:09.974 --> 00:24:12.704
Um, So everything's going great.

00:24:12.704 --> 00:24:13.634
I'm on fire.

00:24:14.084 --> 00:24:17.414
So in the course of that, Billy Graham.

00:24:17.954 --> 00:24:20.594
Chosen now it's Joby now.

00:24:20.624 --> 00:24:22.754
Ah, I see this movie
called Jesus revolution.

00:24:24.314 --> 00:24:29.024
And in there, the only reason I saw it
as the guy that plays, uh, Jonathan Rumi,

00:24:29.024 --> 00:24:30.344
who plays Jesus Christ in their chosen.

00:24:30.374 --> 00:24:33.434
Now I was playing Lonnie Frisbee in this,
in this movie, which I learned later.

00:24:33.824 --> 00:24:36.794
So I was like, oh, I'm definitely in,
you know, well, in the course of that

00:24:36.794 --> 00:24:40.364
movie, they're doing they're baptizing
people, like kind of like an inlet

00:24:40.394 --> 00:24:42.134
over on the west coast of California.

00:24:42.464 --> 00:24:44.624
I remember sitting in the
chair, in the theater going.

00:24:45.554 --> 00:24:47.414
I want to be baptized like that.

00:24:48.284 --> 00:24:51.014
Because Billy Graham was already
telling him, me and my heart that I

00:24:51.014 --> 00:24:53.474
have to proclaim my faith publicly.

00:24:54.494 --> 00:24:55.544
That was very important.

00:24:55.604 --> 00:24:56.564
And I knew that now.

00:24:57.194 --> 00:25:00.644
And I was always apprehensive
to truly crossover, you know,

00:25:01.214 --> 00:25:03.824
And I was like, if I'm going to
do it, I'm doing it like that.

00:25:03.944 --> 00:25:07.094
Now I was going to get baptized
with a church 1122, but they had.

00:25:07.184 --> 00:25:09.014
It had a huge group to do it.

00:25:09.014 --> 00:25:10.784
And I was like, ah, I don't
want to get lost in the mix.

00:25:11.024 --> 00:25:14.564
So I did it here with the local church
and I got baptized at main beach

00:25:14.564 --> 00:25:16.094
where I have served my whole life.

00:25:16.994 --> 00:25:19.904
Um, the big joke is I had a friend
of mine and was able to baptize

00:25:19.904 --> 00:25:21.104
me and his name's John too.

00:25:21.104 --> 00:25:24.314
So my day joke was I got
baptized by a guy named John too.

00:25:24.374 --> 00:25:24.464
You.

00:25:25.244 --> 00:25:28.634
Um, And right after I got baptized.

00:25:28.634 --> 00:25:29.654
Now I'm on fire.

00:25:29.654 --> 00:25:31.424
I just thought, man, I'm
going to get baptized.

00:25:31.424 --> 00:25:32.984
And my life just gunna, just.

00:25:33.494 --> 00:25:34.844
Just take off.

00:25:36.134 --> 00:25:39.134
All right after my Baptist and
I had several people tell me.

00:25:39.614 --> 00:25:40.964
That the devil was after me.

00:25:41.774 --> 00:25:42.824
And I'm thinking why.

00:25:43.454 --> 00:25:45.914
I don't understand you guy
gets in the mountain top.

00:25:45.944 --> 00:25:47.354
Now you want to pull him down.

00:25:48.074 --> 00:25:49.184
And, um,

00:25:50.847 --> 00:25:55.407
I'd say within two months, Jesse,
my life went to a H E double hockey

00:25:55.407 --> 00:25:58.777
sticks  Went to a hell in a hand basket.

00:26:02.177 --> 00:26:04.037
I was listening to Joby talk one night.

00:26:04.727 --> 00:26:06.917
And he said, man, if you were
your own worst enemy, how

00:26:06.917 --> 00:26:07.997
would you come at yourself?

00:26:09.827 --> 00:26:12.257
And the devil came at
me through my addiction.

00:26:14.117 --> 00:26:16.607
In fact the very first
Scripted I ever Memorized.

00:26:16.607 --> 00:26:19.127
was Luke 22 31 32.

00:26:19.667 --> 00:26:22.397
And when he's telling Simon,
Simon, behold, Satan has demanded.

00:26:23.027 --> 00:26:24.557
To sift you all like wheat.

00:26:26.597 --> 00:26:27.947
But I have prayed for you.

00:26:28.337 --> 00:26:30.287
At your own faith may not fail.

00:26:31.547 --> 00:26:34.277
And once you have turned back,
you must strengthen your brother.

00:26:35.327 --> 00:26:38.837
So my addiction takes off
again through my alcoholism.

00:26:38.837 --> 00:26:42.377
I start drinking and within two months
it just, it just came falling down.

00:26:42.647 --> 00:26:45.677
And luckily the same guy that
turned me on to Jimmy Martin.

00:26:46.637 --> 00:26:49.307
Was able to just come into my
apartment and asked me, man, what.

00:26:49.427 --> 00:26:50.177
What are we going to do?

00:26:50.417 --> 00:26:51.107
What were you going to do?

00:26:51.797 --> 00:26:54.857
He said, man, it's obvious these, these
small detoxes aren't working, man.

00:26:55.937 --> 00:26:58.487
And he said, I think I can make a call.

00:26:58.487 --> 00:27:00.167
And it was a lot of
moving parts that got me.

00:27:00.167 --> 00:27:03.047
And I had a dear friend that I
grew up with that runs a treatment

00:27:03.047 --> 00:27:04.757
facility in Jacksonville.

00:27:06.317 --> 00:27:11.327
Was able to come scoot me up and,
um, And had they not had they

00:27:11.327 --> 00:27:12.737
not, I wouldn't have made it.

00:27:13.127 --> 00:27:13.997
I know I wasn't enough.

00:27:15.077 --> 00:27:17.327
My deep, my disease was taken way over.

00:27:18.377 --> 00:27:20.357
Um, so here I am.

00:27:21.647 --> 00:27:25.487
Um, back in detox and it's a long,
so I do a 30 day detox followed by

00:27:25.517 --> 00:27:27.887
60 to 90 day treatment facility.

00:27:27.917 --> 00:27:31.007
So it's tides as the detox
beaches, the recovery center.

00:27:32.207 --> 00:27:33.437
And you want to talk about.

00:27:34.667 --> 00:27:37.007
Total incomprehensible demoralization.

00:27:37.037 --> 00:27:39.767
I'm sitting in detox and knowing
the big book forwards and

00:27:39.767 --> 00:27:41.867
backwards, but I can't stay sober.

00:27:43.547 --> 00:27:45.437
but I thought I had God, I got Jesus.

00:27:45.437 --> 00:27:45.977
Right.

00:27:46.697 --> 00:27:47.327
So.

00:27:48.167 --> 00:27:51.797
I'm in detox, um, um, you know,
going through the motions,

00:27:51.827 --> 00:27:53.717
doing anything and, um,

00:27:54.113 --> 00:27:56.183
I remember having my last one on one.

00:27:56.483 --> 00:27:56.963
Counselor.

00:27:57.233 --> 00:27:58.133
I'll get to this.

00:27:58.643 --> 00:28:00.413
He, um, I tell him.

00:28:01.163 --> 00:28:03.473
That this time I'm not
going to let anything.

00:28:04.013 --> 00:28:05.633
Getting my front of my recovery.

00:28:06.893 --> 00:28:08.063
And he goes, including you.

00:28:09.233 --> 00:28:09.863
And I thought.

00:28:10.553 --> 00:28:10.943
All right.

00:28:11.003 --> 00:28:13.373
I can take that, you
know, has God been sober?

00:28:13.973 --> 00:28:15.503
You know, he knows what he's doing.

00:28:15.533 --> 00:28:16.793
So I kinda took he to that.

00:28:16.823 --> 00:28:17.843
I remember that.

00:28:18.923 --> 00:28:20.063
I get out.

00:28:20.573 --> 00:28:21.233
At tides.

00:28:21.233 --> 00:28:24.883
And luckily, since I knew the guy that
ran the facility, he takes me surfing.

00:28:25.783 --> 00:28:28.783
And we're out surfing and
we're talking about, you know,

00:28:29.053 --> 00:28:30.553
We're catching up basically.

00:28:31.123 --> 00:28:33.913
And in the course of a surf and he
looks over at me and we're talking and

00:28:33.973 --> 00:28:38.653
he said, pat, You know, in Bill's story
where it says, um, he says this line.

00:28:38.713 --> 00:28:42.553
Um, if one fails to enlarge
and perfect a spiritual life.

00:28:42.823 --> 00:28:45.583
He will not be able to face
the trials and low spots ahead.

00:28:46.693 --> 00:28:48.253
And I looked at him and
I was like, where's that?

00:28:48.253 --> 00:28:49.633
And he's like, I think it's bill story.

00:28:50.803 --> 00:28:51.283
And I remember.

00:28:51.523 --> 00:28:52.183
Resting on that.

00:28:52.183 --> 00:28:53.293
Jessie, I remember going.

00:28:54.493 --> 00:28:55.183
That was it.

00:28:56.203 --> 00:28:56.803
That was it.

00:28:56.803 --> 00:28:59.473
I did not continue to
live in 10, 11 and 12.

00:28:59.473 --> 00:29:01.573
I did not do increase my
relationship with God.

00:29:01.813 --> 00:29:03.733
I didn't turn around and
go help the next man.

00:29:03.733 --> 00:29:04.993
I didn't stay there.

00:29:06.313 --> 00:29:11.053
Um, so now I'm really, really
understanding where, where,

00:29:11.083 --> 00:29:12.883
where kind of what went wrong.

00:29:13.603 --> 00:29:17.833
Um, I did not enlarging and
perfect my spiritual life.

00:29:18.193 --> 00:29:19.813
So I'm really hanging on to that.

00:29:19.813 --> 00:29:23.323
So now that I've got my phone back
and I'm back in treatment, I'm

00:29:23.323 --> 00:29:25.723
going and doing a lot of counseling,
which I'm very thankful for.

00:29:25.723 --> 00:29:27.163
I got a lot of good therapy.

00:29:28.363 --> 00:29:33.043
And in there, I, um, really push for
a, what they call trauma therapy.

00:29:33.463 --> 00:29:37.063
And I had a very good
trauma, um, therapist.

00:29:37.633 --> 00:29:38.593
Who worked with me.

00:29:38.683 --> 00:29:41.923
Um, it was about a six to eight
week course, but a six week course.

00:29:42.343 --> 00:29:45.343
And you would meet as in a group
setting two days a week, and

00:29:45.343 --> 00:29:46.303
then she would meet with me.

00:29:46.333 --> 00:29:47.233
One-on-one.

00:29:47.683 --> 00:29:48.553
Once a week.

00:29:49.213 --> 00:29:50.263
And that went great.

00:29:50.263 --> 00:29:51.193
I really needed that.

00:29:51.223 --> 00:29:54.463
It was a lot of things that I needed
to mend with my father, you know,

00:29:54.643 --> 00:29:58.423
um, things that were kind of at
the forefront that were blocking

00:29:58.423 --> 00:29:59.923
me from the sunlight of the spirit.

00:30:01.897 --> 00:30:02.887
So this is funny.

00:30:02.887 --> 00:30:04.597
So I've already had this
one therapist say this.

00:30:04.597 --> 00:30:07.807
So when we got done towards
the end of my tenure, there.

00:30:08.437 --> 00:30:11.437
She sat me down with my last
one-on-one and she says, Hey

00:30:11.437 --> 00:30:13.117
Patrick, I got to ask you something.

00:30:13.117 --> 00:30:13.957
And I was like, what's that?

00:30:14.017 --> 00:30:15.697
She said, are you texting any girls?

00:30:16.177 --> 00:30:19.027
And I said, no, ma'am I can honestly
tell you I'm not doing that.

00:30:19.597 --> 00:30:21.907
And she says, well, you know,
there's two sins in the program

00:30:21.907 --> 00:30:23.227
of alcoholics anonymous.

00:30:23.767 --> 00:30:24.997
And me being a big book dump.

00:30:24.997 --> 00:30:26.347
I'm thinking, where does that out?

00:30:26.347 --> 00:30:26.437
Where.

00:30:26.857 --> 00:30:29.887
Where's this, you know,
So I go and look for it.

00:30:29.887 --> 00:30:30.967
She said, I'm not going
to tell you where it's at.

00:30:30.967 --> 00:30:32.617
You gotta go look for
it so I can look for it.

00:30:32.647 --> 00:30:33.577
And I can't find it.

00:30:33.997 --> 00:30:34.687
We'll be holed.

00:30:34.687 --> 00:30:36.187
It's not in the fourth edition.

00:30:36.307 --> 00:30:40.027
It's in the third edition and
it's a story it's on page 5 42.

00:30:40.597 --> 00:30:45.907
And the two sins are the first sin
is she tells me is interfering.

00:30:46.807 --> 00:30:48.457
With someone else's recovery.

00:30:49.357 --> 00:30:49.807
I've done it.

00:30:50.767 --> 00:30:53.947
And the second sin was interfering
with your own recovery.

00:30:55.267 --> 00:30:57.517
So I've got two different therapist.

00:30:57.967 --> 00:31:00.397
That have known me for a
very short period of time.

00:31:01.027 --> 00:31:03.397
Basically telling the
same thing about myself.

00:31:04.057 --> 00:31:05.407
I'm in the way.

00:31:06.097 --> 00:31:09.457
And I've got to get out of the
way, whether it's in my recovery.

00:31:10.117 --> 00:31:11.647
And whether it's in my spiritual life.

00:31:12.727 --> 00:31:14.377
And I joked with her later.

00:31:14.377 --> 00:31:17.017
I said, all you told on yourself,
it's in the third edition.

00:31:17.017 --> 00:31:19.417
So you've been sober longer
than 30 years cause it can.

00:31:19.837 --> 00:31:24.337
So it's the 2000, cause the fourth edition
came out in 2001 anyways, moving along.

00:31:24.967 --> 00:31:25.627
Um,

00:31:27.277 --> 00:31:30.217
And the cool thing was, I didn't want
to, again, get to say this earlier.

00:31:30.247 --> 00:31:34.147
When I get to beaches recovery, they
take us to church every other weekend.

00:31:34.717 --> 00:31:36.277
And you know, where
they took us to church.

00:31:37.297 --> 00:31:38.707
Church of 1122.

00:31:39.757 --> 00:31:43.357
I'm thinking, this is God, God has
got his hand all in this thing.

00:31:44.077 --> 00:31:45.807
So, Anytime I had free time.

00:31:45.807 --> 00:31:46.737
I'm either watching.

00:31:47.487 --> 00:31:48.357
The pastor.

00:31:48.747 --> 00:31:51.507
Debate on college campuses
and I'm learning all about

00:31:51.507 --> 00:31:52.557
the word and the gospel.

00:31:52.767 --> 00:31:55.917
Uh, you know, all the gospels, Matthew,
mark, Luke, and John, and then so forth.

00:31:56.397 --> 00:31:58.977
Um, I'm watching the Watching the chosen.

00:31:59.457 --> 00:32:02.637
And I'm constantly, constantly
watching Joby Martin and

00:32:02.637 --> 00:32:06.357
anything else that's related to
spirituality and the word of God.

00:32:06.927 --> 00:32:08.577
But one night I'm watching the chosen.

00:32:09.387 --> 00:32:10.257
And Dallas Jenkins.

00:32:10.257 --> 00:32:12.177
Who's the creator he's talking.

00:32:12.777 --> 00:32:15.237
And he was talking about
the premise of season three.

00:32:15.927 --> 00:32:19.767
Now what I loved about season three and
what I love about Jesus Christ, is it.

00:32:20.637 --> 00:32:22.917
He didn't come down and
hang out with the elite.

00:32:23.727 --> 00:32:27.507
He came and hung out with the
broken and I qualified for that.

00:32:27.567 --> 00:32:29.817
You know, bad news bears basically.

00:32:30.807 --> 00:32:35.427
And, um, There was so much
joy and pleasure in that.

00:32:36.147 --> 00:32:40.887
But what he also was talking about the
whole premise of season three was faith.

00:32:41.847 --> 00:32:44.337
And there's two parts in there
that I there's two different,

00:32:44.397 --> 00:32:46.557
um, episodes that I really liked.

00:32:46.887 --> 00:32:50.397
There's the one with the, the
woman with the issue of blood.

00:32:51.417 --> 00:32:54.507
Um, and all she's saying is she can
just break through the crowd if she

00:32:54.507 --> 00:32:56.397
could just touch Jesus, this garment.

00:32:57.567 --> 00:32:59.187
That she, she will be healed.

00:32:59.817 --> 00:33:02.277
And of course, as you know, she
does, she breaks through the crowd

00:33:02.277 --> 00:33:04.017
and she touches Jesus's garment.

00:33:04.047 --> 00:33:05.217
He's like, Hey, who touched me?

00:33:05.937 --> 00:33:07.887
And you know, he's in a
crowd and hell is he is.

00:33:08.547 --> 00:33:10.167
Disciples are like,
everybody's touching to Jesus.

00:33:10.197 --> 00:33:10.677
What do you mean?

00:33:10.767 --> 00:33:13.587
But, um, he stops because
he said power went out.

00:33:14.337 --> 00:33:17.217
And he turned around and remember the
woman that's laying there on the ground.

00:33:17.577 --> 00:33:20.007
But what he tells her, it's not
that you touched my garment.

00:33:21.237 --> 00:33:22.797
It was your faith that healed you.

00:33:25.571 --> 00:33:29.261
So I watched that and there's the other
scene where Peter gets out of the boat.

00:33:30.041 --> 00:33:32.291
And he's walking towards
Jesus on the water.

00:33:32.291 --> 00:33:35.681
And at first he's man, he's like, like
Joby Martin said, he's like Rick flair,

00:33:35.681 --> 00:33:37.361
like, Ooh, he's walking to Jesus.

00:33:37.811 --> 00:33:40.301
And all of a sudden he starts to sink.

00:33:40.991 --> 00:33:42.011
This lack of faith.

00:33:42.791 --> 00:33:44.921
And it hit me, Jesse,
like a ton of bricks.

00:33:45.281 --> 00:33:46.811
That's what happened to me?

00:33:47.471 --> 00:33:49.151
I had come to Jesus.

00:33:49.661 --> 00:33:51.311
But it was my lack of faith.

00:33:51.791 --> 00:33:52.901
That was failing me.

00:33:55.401 --> 00:33:56.571
Makes me think of a story.

00:33:56.671 --> 00:34:00.571
One of the last times that I saw
my father, I had lunch with him.

00:34:01.711 --> 00:34:04.291
And this is when I was
on fire for recovery.

00:34:04.291 --> 00:34:07.681
And my dad leaned back in his chair
and he was just kind of rocking and he

00:34:07.711 --> 00:34:09.001
looks at me and he goes, Hey, sport.

00:34:09.721 --> 00:34:10.441
I said, what's up dad.

00:34:10.441 --> 00:34:11.671
He goes, man, why don't you take it?

00:34:11.911 --> 00:34:14.071
Once you take an easy
on those people in AA.

00:34:14.881 --> 00:34:15.631
And I was like, what do you mean?

00:34:15.631 --> 00:34:16.561
What are you talking about?

00:34:17.251 --> 00:34:18.991
He said, man, cause
they're not all seekers.

00:34:18.991 --> 00:34:19.801
Like you are.

00:34:21.511 --> 00:34:23.371
And I'm thought who's he been talking to?

00:34:24.091 --> 00:34:25.081
And as I got.

00:34:25.921 --> 00:34:26.701
Looking back.

00:34:26.701 --> 00:34:27.661
I started realizing.

00:34:28.831 --> 00:34:30.211
He knew exactly who I was.

00:34:30.211 --> 00:34:31.081
He was my father.

00:34:31.411 --> 00:34:33.631
I didn't even know Jesse
that I was a seeker.

00:34:33.691 --> 00:34:35.941
I didn't know that I was
thirsty for this thing.

00:34:38.621 --> 00:34:40.481
I think it's Matthew seven, seven.

00:34:40.931 --> 00:34:43.621
I love that line, Basically
it's ask, seek and knock.

00:34:45.211 --> 00:34:49.231
So it's asking you will be given
to you seek and you will find.

00:34:50.191 --> 00:34:51.991
Knocking the door will open to you.

00:34:53.401 --> 00:34:55.321
All this time, I was just seeking.

00:34:55.381 --> 00:34:57.661
I had knew that my
spiritual life had failed.

00:34:58.591 --> 00:35:00.841
I knew that was what
was lacking in my life.

00:35:01.621 --> 00:35:05.461
Um, I really didn't even know that I was.

00:35:07.021 --> 00:35:08.341
Really seeking out.

00:35:09.121 --> 00:35:10.801
You know, and asking for God.

00:35:11.701 --> 00:35:13.381
But boy was I knock and man.

00:35:13.978 --> 00:35:15.658
I was knocking on that door, man.

00:35:16.894 --> 00:35:21.877
And, uh, there's another line  Where it
says the seeing eyes and the hearing ears.

00:35:22.657 --> 00:35:23.677
Basically I had ears.

00:35:24.014 --> 00:35:26.204
I had ears to hear and eyes to see.

00:35:27.584 --> 00:35:29.804
I was just thankful for that, you
know, did that, cause that says,

00:35:29.804 --> 00:35:31.544
that's the gift that the Lord gives us.

00:35:31.874 --> 00:35:32.624
You know what I mean?

00:35:33.314 --> 00:35:36.134
You know, anything he gives you two
of you might want to use anything.

00:35:36.134 --> 00:35:39.914
He gives you one of you might want
to not use if you know what I mean.

00:35:41.624 --> 00:35:47.084
But, um, but what I'll say, and I want
him to say this so bad was, um, When I

00:35:47.084 --> 00:35:50.564
was listening to Joby Martin one night,
this is really what clicked for me.

00:35:51.824 --> 00:35:54.044
He gets a place in the sermon
and he's like how he talks

00:35:54.044 --> 00:35:54.914
to his, I was like, Hey man.

00:35:55.364 --> 00:35:56.924
So what he does too, he's talking.

00:35:56.924 --> 00:36:00.074
And he said I had to get to a place
one day where I wasn't a wrongdoer.

00:36:00.974 --> 00:36:02.114
And need of a program.

00:36:03.674 --> 00:36:05.444
I was a sinner in need of a savior.

00:36:07.334 --> 00:36:09.614
And I was like, that
was me this whole time.

00:36:09.854 --> 00:36:10.634
Here I am.

00:36:10.634 --> 00:36:14.684
And I, and I love AA and AA will,
I will be forever indebted to it.

00:36:15.224 --> 00:36:18.044
Because I think that's my
platform to help other people.

00:36:20.054 --> 00:36:20.594
But.

00:36:21.884 --> 00:36:22.874
This whole time.

00:36:22.884 --> 00:36:26.874
I always felt like I was a bad
person trying to get better.

00:36:28.224 --> 00:36:31.494
But the whole time, I was just
a black hearted rec center.

00:36:32.514 --> 00:36:33.744
That needed a savior.

00:36:36.294 --> 00:36:38.364
You know, I used to see ears to hear.

00:36:39.184 --> 00:36:42.434
that was just where I
I'm so thankful that God.

00:36:42.739 --> 00:36:43.129
Just.

00:36:43.395 --> 00:36:44.745
Kind of blessed me with that.

00:36:44.775 --> 00:36:48.465
So to speak, and I think what was cool
was all, this was all coming together.

00:36:48.885 --> 00:36:49.515
So.

00:36:50.205 --> 00:36:51.405
That I was able to just, you.

00:36:51.825 --> 00:36:52.965
I'm buddy was joking the other day.

00:36:52.965 --> 00:36:56.205
I said, I, I was able to, just to
get out of the way, just enough.

00:36:56.895 --> 00:36:58.965
For that, for that to come in, you know?

00:37:00.165 --> 00:37:00.945
Um, so

00:37:00.995 --> 00:37:04.615
I get out of treatment this
past January 18th, And, um,

00:37:06.505 --> 00:37:11.365
I'm just doing everything that's asked to
me now, you know, I really, really, um,

00:37:12.055 --> 00:37:12.895
How do I say this?

00:37:12.895 --> 00:37:13.555
I just.

00:37:14.009 --> 00:37:15.659
I just love Jesus Christ.

00:37:17.159 --> 00:37:20.429
It just, it gives me this whole
new meaning in my life today.

00:37:21.539 --> 00:37:25.469
Um, It gives me this moral
compass, so to speak.

00:37:26.549 --> 00:37:30.179
most of my friends today are either
in recovery or believers are both.

00:37:31.449 --> 00:37:32.409
I didn't even plan that.

00:37:32.409 --> 00:37:33.549
It's just the way it's happened.

00:37:33.579 --> 00:37:34.839
And there's another guy.

00:37:35.259 --> 00:37:36.879
The guy that actually baptized me.

00:37:36.909 --> 00:37:37.749
His name is John.

00:37:37.839 --> 00:37:40.719
I hope you don't mind me saying
this, but we meet periodically to.

00:37:41.679 --> 00:37:43.299
You know, the last three
steps in the program box.

00:37:43.479 --> 00:37:47.439
Hamas anonymous is 10, 11, 12, and we
maintain that relationship within ourself.

00:37:47.469 --> 00:37:50.169
And then we increase the relationship
with God, but we turn around and give to

00:37:50.619 --> 00:37:53.529
the next alcoholic or suffering addict.

00:37:54.699 --> 00:37:58.569
Um, the message that it was so freely
given to us, I call it the gospel now,

00:37:58.599 --> 00:38:00.469
because I use my walk with Christ now.

00:38:01.609 --> 00:38:03.619
And one of the things that
I like to do, I call it.

00:38:03.649 --> 00:38:04.729
The feel felt found.

00:38:05.359 --> 00:38:08.059
When I'm working with somebody or
talking to somebody, I can look at

00:38:08.059 --> 00:38:09.739
them and go, Hey, I know how you feel.

00:38:11.179 --> 00:38:12.409
I felt the same way.

00:38:13.579 --> 00:38:14.599
And this is what I found.

00:38:16.819 --> 00:38:21.469
And to me, I'm just so
thankful that God is using me.

00:38:22.279 --> 00:38:24.679
The way I was always tended to be used.

00:38:25.339 --> 00:38:28.399
You know, I've turned this
negative into a positive today.

00:38:28.939 --> 00:38:29.509
Um,

00:38:31.009 --> 00:38:33.229
My life has just taken
on a whole new meaning.

00:38:34.069 --> 00:38:36.229
As long as I continue
to stay out of the way.

00:38:38.359 --> 00:38:43.309
And as long as long as I maintain
my faith in Jesus, I can't go wrong.

00:38:44.812 --> 00:38:47.597
So let me ask you something
You know, earlier.

00:38:48.347 --> 00:38:50.057
I had asked, you know, what was the.

00:38:50.807 --> 00:38:53.687
Thought process that went through
your mind every time you get

00:38:53.687 --> 00:38:55.127
out of treatment and you'd been.

00:38:55.847 --> 00:38:56.777
Clean for awhile.

00:38:56.807 --> 00:38:57.947
And then your.

00:38:58.877 --> 00:39:01.427
Just decided to start using again.

00:39:01.487 --> 00:39:06.781
I just wondered what The thought
process was And,  I think you just.

00:39:06.951 --> 00:39:08.881
Explained it and it has to do with.

00:39:09.601 --> 00:39:11.341
Not using your faith.

00:39:12.181 --> 00:39:13.891
So, can you talk about that?

00:39:15.295 --> 00:39:16.555
you know, it's funny you say that.

00:39:16.585 --> 00:39:18.325
Um, I shared this story recently.

00:39:18.955 --> 00:39:22.645
Uh, Several months ago, I was all fun.

00:39:22.665 --> 00:39:24.285
From work, which usually is a busy night.

00:39:24.285 --> 00:39:25.755
And I didn't know what to do with my time.

00:39:26.925 --> 00:39:29.835
Um, I had ran some errands that day.

00:39:30.585 --> 00:39:33.645
Um, I had shopped as
much as a man could shop.

00:39:33.975 --> 00:39:36.825
I had a up until my belly was full.

00:39:37.305 --> 00:39:39.915
And I went and saw a movie that
I really didn't care to see.

00:39:41.145 --> 00:39:43.245
And I'm coming back onto the island.

00:39:43.755 --> 00:39:44.745
Over the bridge.

00:39:44.775 --> 00:39:46.605
It's probably about 10
or 11 o'clock at night.

00:39:47.295 --> 00:39:49.125
And that thought went through my head.

00:39:49.395 --> 00:39:51.255
I can still stop at this corner GFE.

00:39:51.975 --> 00:39:54.015
And as I was coming down the bridge.

00:39:55.575 --> 00:39:57.735
I say, wait a minute,
pat, hold up for a minute.

00:39:58.755 --> 00:39:59.655
And it hit me.

00:40:00.585 --> 00:40:02.655
How could you ever take a drink?

00:40:03.825 --> 00:40:06.105
After what Christ and
dirt for you on the cross.

00:40:07.665 --> 00:40:09.195
That was the stopping point.

00:40:09.465 --> 00:40:11.385
That was where the fate came into play.

00:40:11.565 --> 00:40:14.325
That was where the understanding
of what Jesus Christ came for.

00:40:14.325 --> 00:40:15.765
You know, Joby always taught us this.

00:40:16.335 --> 00:40:20.415
Uh, not only did Christ die for
us, but he died in place of us.

00:40:21.705 --> 00:40:24.495
And all this started
making sense, you know?

00:40:24.855 --> 00:40:30.915
Um, And I understood now for the first
time in my life, you know, I's the C.

00:40:31.575 --> 00:40:32.625
Ears to hear.

00:40:33.435 --> 00:40:35.085
I started understanding.

00:40:35.895 --> 00:40:37.845
How important my spiritual life was.

00:40:37.845 --> 00:40:41.385
And now that I had this in place,
That was the stopping point.

00:40:41.415 --> 00:40:42.765
There's a part in the book of alcoholics.

00:40:43.155 --> 00:40:46.575
Uh, anonymous where it says, uh, there's
there's, it's not, if it's when there

00:40:46.575 --> 00:40:50.145
is going to come a time, that the only
thing between you and I drank is God.

00:40:51.045 --> 00:40:55.725
And I witnessed that firsthand
and thank, thank God.

00:40:55.725 --> 00:40:56.625
Thank you, Jesus.

00:40:56.655 --> 00:41:00.375
That I had that thought process
and I was able to see that.

00:41:00.975 --> 00:41:04.875
And placed out in front of that And
so I tell people all the time, you

00:41:04.875 --> 00:41:07.935
know, I try not to, you know, I'm not
going to water down my, my spiritual

00:41:07.935 --> 00:41:09.915
pro spiritual program for anyone.

00:41:10.305 --> 00:41:12.735
If you're really out
there sick and suffering.

00:41:13.845 --> 00:41:15.165
You've got to find God.

00:41:15.975 --> 00:41:16.935
You just really do.

00:41:16.995 --> 00:41:18.105
I mean, that was that.

00:41:18.165 --> 00:41:19.935
That'll always be my story.

00:41:20.385 --> 00:41:22.785
You know, so many different
places in so many different

00:41:22.785 --> 00:41:24.255
times where that came into play.

00:41:24.615 --> 00:41:29.265
And then every time I fell, it was because
of my wife where I was spiritually.

00:41:30.195 --> 00:41:31.965
Um, and my relationship with God.

00:41:32.895 --> 00:41:35.535
And, I'm just thankful for
the people in my life today.

00:41:35.955 --> 00:41:38.625
Um, You know, I surround myself.

00:41:38.955 --> 00:41:39.705
I have a tribe.

00:41:39.705 --> 00:41:40.875
I always make this joke, you know?

00:41:40.875 --> 00:41:42.915
It is cooling as bad as Jesus was.

00:41:42.915 --> 00:41:44.655
He still had 12 disciples, you know?

00:41:44.985 --> 00:41:49.785
Um, but I, I'm just very thankful and I
tell people today all the time that I'm

00:41:49.785 --> 00:41:52.245
living the life today, that always wanted.

00:41:53.475 --> 00:41:55.185
Just total freedom, man.

00:41:55.455 --> 00:41:59.445
I mean, I can't tell you how
long I lived in active addiction,

00:41:59.445 --> 00:42:00.765
where I get up every day.

00:42:02.175 --> 00:42:02.775
And just.

00:42:04.365 --> 00:42:07.305
Oh, God, I just, I would
just be in so much pain.

00:42:07.305 --> 00:42:09.255
I would either be too high or too sick.

00:42:10.485 --> 00:42:13.335
And I just was not present in
the, in the, in the real world.

00:42:13.365 --> 00:42:15.255
And today I'm just, it's a gift.

00:42:15.945 --> 00:42:17.565
It's just a gift and, um,

00:42:18.062 --> 00:42:19.712
I just want to share it with everybody.

00:42:20.252 --> 00:42:21.422
I just want to tell everybody.

00:42:23.900 --> 00:42:28.550
Well, that brings me to a dilemma
that I've had to deal with for years.

00:42:28.550 --> 00:42:29.990
So I'm going to ask you something.

00:42:31.250 --> 00:42:32.000
No.

00:42:32.390 --> 00:42:35.090
AA had to come up with a generic God.

00:42:35.888 --> 00:42:37.718
back in the beginning in order to help.

00:42:38.468 --> 00:42:39.728
Yes, many alcoholics have.

00:42:40.088 --> 00:42:41.318
As possible cause.

00:42:42.038 --> 00:42:44.888
You know, back in the thirties,
the church was pretty ignorant

00:42:44.888 --> 00:42:47.328
about how to handle those, stinky.

00:42:48.348 --> 00:42:52.458
Unruly centers and, Christian's basically.

00:42:53.298 --> 00:42:54.348
Either shunned.

00:42:55.128 --> 00:42:58.818
Alcoholics or solemn as
projects, you know, to be saved.

00:42:59.778 --> 00:43:05.298
And there wasn't really an understanding
of alcoholism as a spiritual disease.

00:43:05.868 --> 00:43:08.948
So, alcoholics got a pretty
bad taste in their mouth.

00:43:09.848 --> 00:43:11.468
Uh, no pun intended.

00:43:12.428 --> 00:43:14.258
From the, you know, all about church.

00:43:15.518 --> 00:43:16.208
Didn't one.

00:43:17.108 --> 00:43:18.368
Hear anything about that?

00:43:18.878 --> 00:43:21.308
God that the church had put forth.

00:43:22.238 --> 00:43:26.378
So the founders had to broaden
the concept of God by using the

00:43:26.378 --> 00:43:31.778
term, God, as we understood him,
So each individual could feel safe.

00:43:32.418 --> 00:43:34.668
coming into AA, working the program.

00:43:35.068 --> 00:43:38.728
of course that didn't change
God, but it did change peoples.

00:43:39.208 --> 00:43:40.228
Perceptions.

00:43:40.918 --> 00:43:43.198
And I think that was a good thing.

00:43:44.128 --> 00:43:45.478
But, knowing what, you know.

00:43:46.468 --> 00:43:47.008
Now.

00:43:47.918 --> 00:43:48.878
how do you handle.

00:43:49.718 --> 00:43:54.068
Talking to people who still have
this bad taste in their mouth about.

00:43:54.878 --> 00:43:56.568
Jesus, How do you handle.

00:43:57.198 --> 00:44:00.378
Someone who has that generic garden
and they're quite comfortable with it.

00:44:01.938 --> 00:44:02.298
What are you?

00:44:02.478 --> 00:44:03.648
What do you say about that?

00:44:05.396 --> 00:44:06.116
Oh, wow.

00:44:06.236 --> 00:44:06.806
Um,

00:44:08.786 --> 00:44:10.736
This is what I have come.

00:44:10.766 --> 00:44:11.966
This is, this is me.

00:44:12.746 --> 00:44:16.916
Um, I had a really good sponsor
that would always tell me.

00:44:17.306 --> 00:44:18.566
When I was helping somebody.

00:44:18.926 --> 00:44:20.426
Now we're talking about
the big book first.

00:44:20.426 --> 00:44:23.276
He would say, pat, let, let
the book do the work because

00:44:23.276 --> 00:44:24.626
it keeps you and I had of it.

00:44:26.786 --> 00:44:30.146
So now what I do is I
pick up the big, big book.

00:44:31.826 --> 00:44:36.986
And I tell people and I tell myself and
tell people, let the book do the work.

00:44:37.586 --> 00:44:39.506
Because it just keeps you and I had of it.

00:44:39.926 --> 00:44:41.906
Um, so.

00:44:43.046 --> 00:44:47.066
What if I think where my service will come
in is maybe not in a group setting, like

00:44:47.066 --> 00:44:50.366
in a, in a meeting, but it's a one-on-one
with another alcoholic or addict.

00:44:50.366 --> 00:44:52.556
Cause I think that's just
where I'm at today in my life.

00:44:54.326 --> 00:44:55.046
And.

00:44:56.966 --> 00:45:00.386
I just, all I can tell him is what
worked for me and what didn't.

00:45:00.806 --> 00:45:02.816
And the.

00:45:03.596 --> 00:45:08.036
This, just the whole storyline of
Jesus Christ, what he came for and what

00:45:08.066 --> 00:45:10.166
he did and what he continues to do.

00:45:10.676 --> 00:45:12.416
It's for me, it's just undeniable.

00:45:13.076 --> 00:45:17.456
And I understand that they AA
is very roomy when they come in.

00:45:17.876 --> 00:45:20.966
Because if I would have come in many,
many years ago and you told me, Hey,

00:45:20.966 --> 00:45:22.016
you got to believe in Jesus Christ.

00:45:22.046 --> 00:45:24.236
I'd been out the door, you
know, I wouldn't have stayed.

00:45:25.016 --> 00:45:27.296
But what I want to tell
people, man, is that.

00:45:29.126 --> 00:45:30.266
Just do the work.

00:45:31.226 --> 00:45:35.216
And if you don't have a God,
well, I'll let you borrow mine.

00:45:36.326 --> 00:45:38.726
And then let them come
to terms on their own.

00:45:38.726 --> 00:45:40.736
Let them see the truth for what it is.

00:45:41.516 --> 00:45:44.426
Um, that's kinda what I
wanted to say this earlier.

00:45:44.426 --> 00:45:47.486
Cause I mean, I could talk for
hours on this thing, but you

00:45:47.486 --> 00:45:50.456
know, when John, where it says I
am the way the truth and the lie.

00:45:51.236 --> 00:45:54.356
So to me, because I'm
a truth seeker, Jessie.

00:45:54.626 --> 00:45:56.756
So for me, Cause I got so.

00:45:57.386 --> 00:46:03.146
Uh, Enthused in the big book of alcoholics
anonymous and what it was doing well now

00:46:03.146 --> 00:46:05.836
it's just moved on to A higher level.

00:46:06.346 --> 00:46:09.196
Now I'm into the truth of the word of God.

00:46:10.066 --> 00:46:10.576
Because.

00:46:11.596 --> 00:46:13.496
With him, I can do anything.

00:46:14.576 --> 00:46:16.136
As long as I stay out of the way.

00:46:17.456 --> 00:46:17.816
And.

00:46:18.236 --> 00:46:23.186
And keep the fate, you know, But
I guess I answered your question.

00:46:23.246 --> 00:46:24.266
I hope I did.

00:46:24.296 --> 00:46:24.746
Yeah.

00:46:24.776 --> 00:46:25.286
I just.

00:46:27.566 --> 00:46:30.056
If I could tell anybody anything today.

00:46:31.286 --> 00:46:33.086
It was just, I would just tell them.

00:46:33.926 --> 00:46:36.356
Just do your best to stay out of the way.

00:46:37.706 --> 00:46:39.896
Just stay out of the way, man, because.

00:46:40.346 --> 00:46:44.516
W, you know, one of the most enlightening
words my grandfather told my dad

00:46:44.516 --> 00:46:45.986
one time, and then my dad told me.

00:46:46.736 --> 00:46:47.456
As a.

00:46:48.506 --> 00:46:50.006
God made a perfect world.

00:46:50.846 --> 00:46:53.186
But man's been messing it up for years.

00:46:53.966 --> 00:46:54.746
You know what I mean?

00:46:54.746 --> 00:46:55.436
And so.

00:46:56.726 --> 00:46:59.096
I am just a prime example of that.

00:47:00.266 --> 00:47:03.356
Every time that I got
in a way it got worse.

00:47:04.436 --> 00:47:04.586
Yeah.

00:47:05.276 --> 00:47:06.206
You know what I mean?

00:47:06.446 --> 00:47:08.186
And now that I'm out of the way.

00:47:08.726 --> 00:47:10.226
Things are only getting better.

00:47:11.066 --> 00:47:13.286
You know, I put him at the forefront.

00:47:13.316 --> 00:47:14.876
You know, I trust God.

00:47:15.566 --> 00:47:16.796
I clean house daily.

00:47:17.156 --> 00:47:19.976
And I turned around and I helped
him next second, suffering

00:47:19.976 --> 00:47:21.506
individual, whatever may it be?

00:47:21.806 --> 00:47:23.966
Mine happens to be
drugs and alcohol today.

00:47:24.536 --> 00:47:27.986
But, um, it can, it can manifest in
any different ways, you know, that.

00:47:28.616 --> 00:47:33.356
So, um, That's where I find the
joy, my singleness of purpose today.

00:47:33.386 --> 00:47:36.266
I'm I am living the life
that God intended me to live.

00:47:36.866 --> 00:47:38.066
I truly see that today.

00:47:38.696 --> 00:47:39.926
And to me, that's just a blessing.

00:47:40.676 --> 00:47:42.116
You know, I believe in miracles.

00:47:42.956 --> 00:47:43.556
I am one.

00:47:45.506 --> 00:47:46.196
All right.

00:47:47.696 --> 00:47:52.346
Well, we're getting close to the end of
our time now, but I just want to ask you.

00:47:53.216 --> 00:47:55.136
Uh, if you.

00:47:55.136 --> 00:47:57.176
could just share one bit of wisdom.

00:47:57.776 --> 00:48:01.736
I know you've already shared a lot
of wisdom, but if there's one major,

00:48:01.736 --> 00:48:05.066
bit of wisdom that you could share
with somebody out there who might

00:48:05.066 --> 00:48:06.626
be struggling, what would it be?

00:48:08.594 --> 00:48:09.614
that there is hope.

00:48:10.454 --> 00:48:11.564
And never give up.

00:48:12.644 --> 00:48:14.804
Even when, even when you're just down.

00:48:15.644 --> 00:48:16.964
Just never give up.

00:48:18.404 --> 00:48:20.654
I had said this earlier, and
I'll continue to say this.

00:48:20.744 --> 00:48:22.394
You got to get out of your own way.

00:48:23.054 --> 00:48:23.834
You really do.

00:48:23.984 --> 00:48:27.644
And sometimes we got to put, we've
got to listen to others, people

00:48:27.644 --> 00:48:28.934
that have been there before us.

00:48:29.564 --> 00:48:31.304
Um, I'm thankful for that.

00:48:32.234 --> 00:48:34.604
That's that's a hard
thing to do, you know?

00:48:34.754 --> 00:48:39.314
Um, Uh, that's why I liked the
program of alcoholics anonymous, man.

00:48:39.314 --> 00:48:40.274
They're not telling us what to do.

00:48:40.274 --> 00:48:41.234
They're telling us what they've done.

00:48:41.894 --> 00:48:44.894
If there was one bit of wisdom, I
guess I'll go to scripture again.

00:48:44.894 --> 00:48:45.764
It is a.

00:48:48.314 --> 00:48:49.574
Asking you to receive.

00:48:51.494 --> 00:48:52.574
C can, you will find.

00:48:54.044 --> 00:48:55.484
And just knock man.

00:48:55.784 --> 00:48:57.284
Bang, if you have to, and that.

00:48:57.374 --> 00:48:58.124
All open.

00:48:59.444 --> 00:49:02.444
It will, it opened for me and
it's going to open for many

00:49:02.444 --> 00:49:04.334
others and that's the joy in it.

00:49:05.744 --> 00:49:08.084
Uh, it's beautiful.

00:49:08.204 --> 00:49:09.914
It sounds like a good place to end.

00:49:10.784 --> 00:49:13.004
Um, Would you mind praying for.

00:49:13.724 --> 00:49:14.774
Our listeners today.

00:49:15.704 --> 00:49:16.514
I'll be glad to.

00:49:16.624 --> 00:49:18.754
Heavenly father, we come to you today.

00:49:18.754 --> 00:49:20.464
I want to, I want to thank you.

00:49:20.864 --> 00:49:24.554
for this opportunity to spread, not
my message, but your message Lord.

00:49:25.574 --> 00:49:26.234
I want you to.

00:49:27.104 --> 00:49:29.324
Continue doing this for Jessie.

00:49:29.504 --> 00:49:32.504
This is a great opportunity
and a good platform.

00:49:33.074 --> 00:49:33.764
For your word.

00:49:34.648 --> 00:49:36.538
I want you to continue to give.

00:49:37.258 --> 00:49:38.998
Eyes to see and ears to hear.

00:49:39.868 --> 00:49:41.998
To the ones that are still
out there suffering God.

00:49:43.121 --> 00:49:46.348
And if they come to you,
Allow them to receive it.

00:49:47.394 --> 00:49:49.254
Allow you to be found when they seek you.

00:49:50.151 --> 00:49:52.491
And keep allowing that door
to open when they knock.

00:49:53.048 --> 00:49:53.378
Lord.

00:49:53.378 --> 00:49:55.358
I want to thank you for this
wonderful life that you've

00:49:55.358 --> 00:49:57.548
given me and countless others.

00:49:58.441 --> 00:50:00.181
I'm so grateful for your love.

00:50:01.134 --> 00:50:04.254
I'm so grateful for your
patience and your tolerance.

00:50:05.394 --> 00:50:06.294
More importantly.

00:50:07.074 --> 00:50:08.754
I'm just so grateful for you, Lord.

00:50:09.754 --> 00:50:11.854
And I thank you from
the bottom of my heart.

00:50:12.938 --> 00:50:14.348
And everything that you do.

00:50:15.508 --> 00:50:18.628
And go out there and grab that
one more like you did with may.

00:50:19.774 --> 00:50:22.504
How you left the 99 and
you came and found me.

00:50:23.824 --> 00:50:26.314
I want you to do that for
everyone out there to Lord.

00:50:26.434 --> 00:50:27.364
And I know you will.

00:50:28.384 --> 00:50:29.194
I know you will.

00:50:30.894 --> 00:50:31.494
And Lord.

00:50:32.348 --> 00:50:32.738
Hi, I asked.

00:50:32.948 --> 00:50:33.698
That you just.

00:50:34.554 --> 00:50:37.794
Keep seeking everyone that's out
there struggling and suffering

00:50:37.944 --> 00:50:39.324
from this terrible illness.

00:50:40.414 --> 00:50:42.094
Especially in this day and age.

00:50:42.484 --> 00:50:43.444
And it's so terrible.

00:50:44.561 --> 00:50:46.091
I ask that you just give them your heart.

00:50:46.391 --> 00:50:47.561
Give him your love.

00:50:48.791 --> 00:50:50.741
Give him your kindness,
just like you did me.

00:50:52.121 --> 00:50:52.811
And your name.

00:50:53.681 --> 00:50:54.491
Jesus Christ.

00:50:55.361 --> 00:50:55.781
Amen.

00:50:56.634 --> 00:50:57.294
Hey man.

00:51:01.954 --> 00:51:04.154
Cailin: We hope you've been
blessed by today's story.

00:51:04.624 --> 00:51:08.344
In case you haven't noticed, there
are no advertisements on this podcast,

00:51:08.704 --> 00:51:10.244
and we hope to keep it that way.

00:51:10.894 --> 00:51:15.034
So if you've heard something that you
think could help someone you know, please

00:51:15.034 --> 00:51:17.174
share it using the link in the show notes.

00:51:18.004 --> 00:51:22.354
Also, if you will give Faith and Purpose a
positive review on your podcast platform,

00:51:22.804 --> 00:51:24.444
you could help more people find it.

00:51:25.054 --> 00:51:29.119
You will probably never know how
that small effort can make a big

00:51:29.119 --> 00:51:32.669
difference in someone's life,
but our Heavenly Father knows.

00:51:33.169 --> 00:51:37.969
Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus
follower with a story to tell, please send

00:51:37.969 --> 00:51:39.899
them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast.

00:51:40.869 --> 00:51:43.029
It may encourage them to tell their story.

00:51:43.429 --> 00:51:45.029
That person may even be you.

00:51:45.499 --> 00:51:48.629
Our only criteria is
that Jesus be glorified.

00:51:49.399 --> 00:51:52.909
Most Christians don't share their
faith because they mistakenly think

00:51:52.919 --> 00:51:57.289
their story is not interesting enough,
or that it's self centered to talk

00:51:57.299 --> 00:52:02.339
about themselves, or that they are not
competent to explain the gospel correctly.

00:52:02.779 --> 00:52:04.039
But none of that is relevant.

00:52:04.429 --> 00:52:07.869
If Jesus has changed your
life, you have a story to tell.

00:52:08.814 --> 00:52:11.224
All of our stories are completely unique.

00:52:11.524 --> 00:52:16.294
No one has a story like yours, and you
may be the only one who can reach someone

00:52:16.294 --> 00:52:18.074
else through telling your experience.

00:52:18.644 --> 00:52:20.014
So don't be intimidated.

00:52:20.344 --> 00:52:25.764
A story is just that, a true account
of your own experience, and no one

00:52:25.774 --> 00:52:27.714
can disagree with your experience.

00:52:28.669 --> 00:52:32.849
When we tell what Jesus has done in
our lives, we are being obedient to his

00:52:32.849 --> 00:52:37.069
command to go into all the world and
preach the gospel to every creature.

00:52:37.469 --> 00:52:41.319
It's not about theology, and it's not
about how interesting or special you are.

00:52:41.659 --> 00:52:43.319
It's all about Jesus.

00:52:44.099 --> 00:52:48.809
So when you're ready to tell how Jesus
has impacted your life, you can let Jesse

00:52:48.809 --> 00:52:51.929
know at his ministry website, jesseduke.

00:52:51.949 --> 00:52:52.209
net.

00:52:52.839 --> 00:52:56.019
There you can download guidelines
that will make it easy to

00:52:56.019 --> 00:52:57.479
prepare to tell your story.

00:52:58.099 --> 00:53:00.539
Thank you for listening today and Shalom.