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Welcome to The Crucible, Conversations for the Curious.

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I am Hamish, your host.

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This podcast is for anyone going through awakenings, trying to make sense of life.

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Whether dark nights are the soul, needing to make life -changing decisions, struggling
with addiction or critical illness, or simply realizing that their life as they know it is

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not aligned to values and purpose.

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You are not alone.

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You can get through this, promise you.

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Life is far more beautiful on the other side.

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Hi everybody and welcome to another edition of the Crucible Conversations for the Curious.

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Today we're chatting with Cindy and she runs a couple of spiritual communities, one here
in the UK and one in South Africa.

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Cindy, thanks ever so much for turning up this morning.

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Can you tell me a little bit about your journey and your awakening?

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Hamish, that's a very big question.

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And it comes from, I think there are two parts to the story of my spiritual awakening.

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The first part of kind of, you could call it season one and maybe season two of the
spiritual awakening.

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So season one, I was...

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just to give a little background to myself in terms of like, what is my pedigree?

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Where did I come from?

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Came from five star hotels, hospitality industry.

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You know, we work hard, we play hard and we have a lot of fun, but we also don't really
understand the word of self -care or taking care of our physical, our emotional.

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our mental or our spiritual bodies.

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It's very much a busy industry where you, you know, where I think it's called self abuse.

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And I think the industry lends itself to that.

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I think things are changing slowly today, but in those days, you know, the longer you
worked and the harder you work, kind of the more recognized you were.

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And then the harder you played and the harder you drank.

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also kind of slotted into to your success.

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So coming from a strong hospitality industry, I ran a, I was the operations director of a
chain of restaurants in London at the time.

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And one of our friends got liver cancer and this liver cancer, she was 32 years old.

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We were a group of South Africans and unfortunately there were no kind of adults around.

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You know, London can be a very transitioned and you know, people transition through
London.

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And so we were just a group of young people.

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There were no adults, there were no, and at the age of 32 and this friend of ours at the
age of 32 had liver cancer and within nine months passed away and died.

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And it was really, and we were making lots of decisions.

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I'm talking about 25, nearly 30 years ago, 25 years ago.

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And kind of we were doing the best we could.

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In those days, the research for cancer is not what it is today.

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Young person, the doctors were just throwing masses of chemotherapy at our friend.

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And I watched this person.

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pass away.

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It also so happened that at the time, kind of being, I was the oldest and the most
responsible of the friends.

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There was lots of decisions.

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We also had to very quickly organize a Jewish funeral.

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We were in the gay community.

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So that was also quite challenging.

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And after we arranged this funeral, I came out of my body, my spirit, my spirit came out
of my body and I kind of

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didn't know how to get back.

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I think there was the trauma, the, you know, the understand or the lack of understanding
of what had happened.

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And so as a result of that, I spoke to somebody at work.

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There was a beautiful French lady and I said to her, can you give me some insight into me
being out of my body?

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Do you know someone, a shaman who can help me?

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Prior to that,

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didn't want to know anything spiritual.

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The only spirit I knew was the one in the whiskey bottle.

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And and kind of so if I ever saw like a fortune teller at a festival or a fair or on
Brighton Pier I would walk to the opposite side.

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There was something that terrified me around spirituality.

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I also had a mother who wasn't religious but always called it hocus pocus.

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and really, you know, didn't have any, you know, that it was a load of rubbish basically.

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So being out of my body was confusing, but fortunately there was Dadu who I went to and I
went to see a spiritual healer and the most extraordinary thing happened to me.

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I went to go and see her, she was in North London, laid down on her healing couch and she
put her hands onto me and she brought my spirit back into my body and as she did that,

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kind of the room.

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filled with the angelic realm.

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And you know you hear and read stories about angel feathers and feeling angels.

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Well, the angels were as clear to me that day as you are sitting on the screen right now.

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And it blew me away.

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I mean, it was a really, really unbelievable experience.

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And also quite a frightening experience because it was something completely new to me.

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This was like

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did this happen?

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So I kind of dabbled a little bit in spirituality but in the meantime I was really kind of
finding life difficult to integrate.

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There'd been this test of this friend and what I do know is through a couple of upsets
with relationships I was getting my solace in the whiskey bottle and that was after

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beers to start the wine at dinner and then kind of ending off with you know washing it
down with a you know half a bottle of scotch and

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I kind of was really at a place where I didn't know where I belonged, I didn't know where
I fitted in.

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So that's kind of series one around this confusion.

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And then the universe did something at the time which felt really, really challenging.

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And so that was like a mini spiritual awakening.

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I knew these spirits were here and I knew what was going on.

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But I happened to go to Dadu one night, the French lady who had sent me to the spiritual
healer and we had a couple of beers and then we had a couple of bottles of wine and then

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we chased that with whiskey and I was the director of this restaurant business.

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I had a six -week -old brand new Mercedes Benz, beautiful compressor.

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I was the business, right?

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Anyway.

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I decided that I wanted to be at home and I drove home from Dadu's and I drove all over
the road and when I stopped the car outside my flat there were a couple of sirens, someone

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had reported me driving recklessly, I was arrested and I spent my dark night of the soul
in jail.

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It was a, for me, it was a very difficult, I'd never been in trouble with the law.

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I was a hard worker, I was the director of a company, I was responsible for 800 people.

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I followed licensing laws, I followed employment laws.

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I was a goody two shoes, it just, I played hard as far as I was concerned.

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So this night in jail, completely.

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for what wasn't broken through my behaviors just completely sent me into a terrible spiral
and actually it was the best thing that ever happened in my life because first of all the

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The lawyer that I spoke to had said to me I needed to get a psychologist on board because
it was a good chance.

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I mean, I was that much over the limit.

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And for those of you in South Africa, like you go to jail here, they don't mess around or
you don't pay somebody a bit of cash and move on.

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There's no bribery and corruption when it comes to the law and drinking.

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And my lawyer said to me, you know, there was a good chance I was going to go to Holloway
prison.

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The shame was absolutely, the shame within myself was extraordinary.

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Anyway, he said I need to get a letter from a psychologist to say I was in a process that
I was focusing on my drinking.

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I just thought I was a heavy drinker.

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I had no idea that this was, I knew it was controlling my life at some level.

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Anyway, I went to the psychologist and she said to me,

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actually I have a problem with people with alcohol I can't give you this letter because I
don't feel it's right and I was like I pleaded I said I need this for court I promise you

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I'll find somebody else and she went well and actually she gave me the letter but I was
even more shame really felt the shame because now I couldn't even get a letter to

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represent me as a human being anyway

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In a divine way, I was guided to the College of Psychic Studies in South Kensington in
London.

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And there was a leaflet around an angel weekend, you know, angel and guides weekend being
held just outside London.

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And I signed up for it.

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And I know it sounds weird, but that was the start of my spiritual journey.

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And from there, the person who facilitated the course had a master's in psychotherapy.

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I then also became a student at the College of Psychic Studies.

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And here I am today, the director of the school of...

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the International School of Intuition and Healing running an organization facilitating
spiritual workshops on mediumship, healing, psychic development, astrology, tarot card,

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mediumship.

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And if you told me back then that I would be having this conversation to you, I would have
laughed, completely laughed.

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So.

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It didn't happen overnight, it was a long journey.

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I worked with a psychotherapist, this woman, for two years.

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that awakening and the shock of that chain.

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The other thing around that chain was I needed to do a hundred hours community service.

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So, and I didn't, they took my license away for about three and a half years.

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I never saw my beautiful, I never drove my beautiful Mercedes Benz again.

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And so, and so, yeah, I didn't lose my job because fortunately the CEO of the company had

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being caught drink driving himself.

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So he was completely sympathetic at the time.

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But this journey of, and then also the judge rather than putting me in jail gave me a
hundred hours community service where I had to go and stand outside Sainsbury's in my

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orange jumper every Saturday morning.

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And that Dark Night of the Soul I am so grateful for and I know that sounds weird but I am
really grateful that the universe

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did that in order for me to be who I am today.

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Thank you.

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It's, wow, there's a lot there to digest.

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I'm not quite sure where, yes, I do know where to start.

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Can we start when you were dragged off to the prison because you said that is when you sat
there and thought and mulled over and, you know, we'll touch on shame in a minute, but

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that's when you really had to.

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stop and look at your life.

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Tell me about that process of looking at what was not going right for you and what was
happening, what you were thinking.

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So that night, I think I was still quite drunk, but I think it was the process between
that going to court and then having to do things like in order to reduce my, how long my

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license was suspended, I had to go and do an eight week drink drive course.

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And then also,

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you know, spending their time doing what I call gardening club because I reframed it
rather than community service.

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I mean.

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I think for me I realised that...

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that my life was really just numb.

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Everything in my life had to be numb.

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Like I wasn't really dealing with relationships in a very constructive way.

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I wasn't necessarily dealing with, I wasn't taking care of myself.

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I think I was smoking something like 40 cigarettes a day.

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And I was living on the edge all the time.

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It was, you know, from

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from waking up with a hangover and then drinking coffee and then just repeating the cycle
over and over again and just this lack of respect for my body.

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I often say that at the time I did a lot of research into relationships.

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I mean, I was having really a hectic time around relationships.

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I was hurting people, I was hurting myself.

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And it was just a mess.

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Life was a mess.

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I mean, one thing that I did keep and I'm really grateful for that is I was still able,
because of the industry I was in and it was almost acceptable to start drinking at

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lunchtime.

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It was almost acceptable to drink and drive and that was okay.

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So I was very lucky that I was in an industry that kind of supported it in a way.

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So I'd never lost my job.

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I didn't.

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that I was able to keep.

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But the shame of, yeah, just this unmanageability of everything.

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My finances weren't great.

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And just, I was numbing my energy.

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I was numbing my sexuality.

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I was numbing everything around myself and really not.

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not taking responsibility or accountability for my behaviour or my actions.

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Mm.

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Yeah.

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Completely, completely relate.

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I worked in the TV industry for a long time and that's the same kind of thing.

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It is work hard and play harder.

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And it, it was okay to have to do a wide shot because if you held the camera on a zoom, it
would shake too much because you were hung over.

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It was, it's unfortunate in retrospect that that lifestyle exists, but it's fun.

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I don't

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yeah, yeah, I had a lot of fun.

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I don't regret any of it by the way.

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I regret some of my behaviours towards people, like bad behaviours like hurting people.

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That is the only part that I regret.

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And I missed my old self for a long time.

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I missed that I was a happy drunk.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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Let's touch on the shame because that is probably a huge stumbling block because we beat
ourselves up.

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I wish I didn't do that.

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So much shame.

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But we have to come to terms with that before we can really start healing and make sense
of change and to heal.

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So how did you wrap your head around that and mitigate it?

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So I think before, I believe my drinking was a symptom as opposed to a cause.

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Yeah.

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For my shame.

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I think that was the whole incident was just an accumulation of shame and this is series
three.

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So.

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So what was the shame in my life?

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What was the shame that had come from wounding?

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What was the shame that had come from me needing to numb?

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What was the cause of that?

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And I came from a family where I was loved a lot.

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And I know this is often very different from other people's trauma, but I was adored from
the day I was born.

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I was the baby in the family by my one sister was 10 years older than me.

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My other sister was seven years older than me.

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My parents, when I was born, had enough money to give me the things that I needed.

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I mean, they weren't wealthy.

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You know, I came.

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came from a working class family, but there was enough.

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Whereas when my sisters were growing up, there wasn't necessarily enough to go around.

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So I was this kid that was super loved and I had this beautiful relationship with my
father.

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I was the apple of his eye and he was the apple of my eye and we did a lot together.

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And I often talk about being the son my father never had because I turned up being gay.

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and maybe the and and there was something in that but what happened was is that my father
fell out with his sister because she became she was gay and they didn't talk to each other

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for 10 years and I it's not my story to tell but they you know it's it's around their
relationship but because of that I had this terrible

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that if I came out to my father, he wouldn't speak to me again.

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And so my father held, so I was very shameful around my sexuality because my father would
not accept me.

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And so I really fought it and I did whatever I could not to be that.

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But the thing that I did is I held this lie to my parents for years.

213
00:21:42,241 --> 00:21:44,453
I mean, my friends, my family,

214
00:21:44,453 --> 00:21:53,153
my partners were like had to coerce with me and collaborate with me around truth.

215
00:21:53,153 --> 00:22:02,683
And around the fact that I was here in London, I mean, you know, London is London, you can
be exactly who you are, whatever, and then my parents would come.

216
00:22:02,683 --> 00:22:06,123
I don't know if you've seen the film La Cage La Folle or The Birdcage.

217
00:22:06,123 --> 00:22:12,101
So every time my parents came, the whole house had to be changed around, the bedrooms had
to be changed around.

218
00:22:12,101 --> 00:22:13,851
And remember I had loving parents.

219
00:22:13,851 --> 00:22:18,261
They came every second year to have a holiday and we would go to Ireland and to Greece.

220
00:22:18,261 --> 00:22:29,961
And I really, I feel quite shameful at the way that I treated my partners because it was
like, that's how it is and I'm not telling my father, I'm not telling my mother.

221
00:22:29,961 --> 00:22:36,601
But what I was doing was not integrating a massive part of myself.

222
00:22:36,601 --> 00:22:40,229
I wasn't showing up to myself.

223
00:22:40,229 --> 00:22:43,489
I wasn't accepting myself as to who I was.

224
00:22:43,489 --> 00:22:46,769
It was fine, but there was always this lie.

225
00:22:46,769 --> 00:22:50,069
There was this lie around who I truly was.

226
00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:54,869
And the person I loved most in the world didn't know who I was.

227
00:22:54,869 --> 00:23:01,019
So I worked really hard with my psychotherapist.

228
00:23:01,019 --> 00:23:02,919
I didn't go the AA route.

229
00:23:02,919 --> 00:23:06,919
I worked with the angels because I had this new relationship with the angels.

230
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:10,193
And the reason I told that story was

231
00:23:10,693 --> 00:23:26,093
I saw working with the angels, I saw doing transformation around the, you know, for me, my
journey was very much the wounded healer and walking the path.

232
00:23:26,093 --> 00:23:31,773
And, you know, I did a two year healing course at the College of Psychic Studies.

233
00:23:31,773 --> 00:23:36,647
And although I did psychic development and I did various different courses.

234
00:23:37,189 --> 00:23:45,209
I learned a skill or an art or a gift or why enhance my gifts, whatever you want to call
it, everyone has different names.

235
00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:48,989
But what I was doing was healing myself.

236
00:23:49,329 --> 00:23:58,669
And I was working with myself and it came to a point after being in therapy for six
months.

237
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:04,541
And this therapist was a healer, a psychic.

238
00:24:05,189 --> 00:24:18,709
were a tutor at the College of Psychic Studies as well, but they also had their masters in
psychotherapy and I remember choosing them very clearly because I thought I can't lie

239
00:24:18,709 --> 00:24:32,849
because those of you who are sitting here and have possibly had a dance with addiction or
are currently really grappling with it.

240
00:24:33,797 --> 00:24:37,537
we can project really interesting stories that hide the truth.

241
00:24:37,537 --> 00:24:44,857
Our psyche has to be one of the best of burying things and hiding them and being dishonest
with ourselves.

242
00:24:44,857 --> 00:24:50,737
Not because, I mean, it's almost like we have a dishonesty to ourselves that really
doesn't serve us.

243
00:24:50,737 --> 00:24:58,257
So I decided to have a psychic psychotherapist so I couldn't lie to them, right?

244
00:24:58,853 --> 00:25:02,463
And I know that sounds really odd, but it worked for my psyche.

245
00:25:02,463 --> 00:25:03,773
It was like, you can't get away.

246
00:25:03,773 --> 00:25:15,783
So there was this really deep dive into the root of where I was at, the root of the shame
around my sexuality, the shame of growing up.

247
00:25:15,783 --> 00:25:23,753
And we went and we did beautiful inner child work around this inner child that had
clearly...

248
00:25:23,845 --> 00:25:28,015
not wanted to be honest in the world because she was scared of this rejection.

249
00:25:28,015 --> 00:25:30,545
So what was it around approval?

250
00:25:30,545 --> 00:25:32,935
What was it around all of that?

251
00:25:32,935 --> 00:25:40,465
And then doing a deep dive into that wounding and that childhood causes.

252
00:25:40,465 --> 00:25:45,965
And as I said, they weren't, you know, it wasn't abuse or anything like that.

253
00:25:45,965 --> 00:25:52,205
It was almost like this love that was not necessarily

254
00:25:52,933 --> 00:25:57,813
you know, the approval of my father was the most important thing in my world.

255
00:25:57,813 --> 00:25:59,973
And where did that come from?

256
00:25:59,973 --> 00:26:03,433
And really digging deep into that.

257
00:26:03,433 --> 00:26:20,611
And in fact, I remember telling him on my 40th birthday, my birthday is on the 3rd of
August, and it was the day before Valentine's Day, just before my 40th birthday.

258
00:26:20,773 --> 00:26:28,722
And I told my father, my parents had been here for Christmas and the family was saying,
no, don't, daddy's gonna go mad, he's gonna be upset.

259
00:26:28,722 --> 00:26:32,113
And I said, and he's gonna know, we all know.

260
00:26:32,113 --> 00:26:38,333
And I said, I can't lie anymore, I've got to do, I've got to be honest to that.

261
00:26:38,433 --> 00:26:48,177
And the most extraordinary thing about the story is that when I told my father, he said, I
knew all along, but because you never told me, I was scared.

262
00:26:48,325 --> 00:26:49,805
to address it with you.

263
00:26:49,805 --> 00:26:59,945
So all these years, my father and I lied to each other, hid away our true feelings, never
had an honest conversation.

264
00:26:59,945 --> 00:27:02,945
And he just said, I completely accepted.

265
00:27:02,945 --> 00:27:06,205
I knew it almost before you did.

266
00:27:06,705 --> 00:27:13,265
And I've learned to accept from what I learned with my sister.

267
00:27:13,265 --> 00:27:16,453
I completely accepted and I love you.

268
00:27:16,453 --> 00:27:23,153
and you still, you know, there was no shame, there was no challenge with my father.

269
00:27:23,153 --> 00:27:27,753
So this massive thing that I created was actually rubbish.

270
00:27:28,393 --> 00:27:30,393
And it didn't exist.

271
00:27:30,393 --> 00:27:43,773
And it's amazing how we can build up in our psyche, the shame, that actually when you open
it up and you address it, and you look at it and you integrate it into your energy,

272
00:27:43,773 --> 00:27:46,885
actually.

273
00:27:46,885 --> 00:27:49,745
I feel because I'd done the work it fell away.

274
00:27:49,745 --> 00:28:00,805
It just like the energy I brought the shame in I'd worked with it and it was amazing my my
parents left to go back to South Africa and I just took all the booze and I just I

275
00:28:00,805 --> 00:28:09,445
remember I had some beautiful chivas regal and some like Johnny walkers and I just took
them and just poured them down the drain.

276
00:28:09,645 --> 00:28:11,625
That was it.

277
00:28:12,265 --> 00:28:13,765
That was it.

278
00:28:14,725 --> 00:28:24,605
and then kind of walked, so that was after six months, and then really continued the work
of the wounded healer.

279
00:28:24,605 --> 00:28:30,967
And that's my story of becoming a healer.

280
00:28:30,967 --> 00:28:33,827
Thank you.

281
00:28:33,827 --> 00:28:35,807
That was beautiful.

282
00:28:35,807 --> 00:28:44,527
I mean, I I see the beauty in the steps and the process because I've experienced my own
version of that.

283
00:28:45,267 --> 00:28:46,987
But at the time, it's hard.

284
00:28:46,987 --> 00:28:50,887
At the time, it's very hard.

285
00:28:50,887 --> 00:28:54,207
But I love what you said about the shame.

286
00:28:54,787 --> 00:29:00,135
You eventually opened the windows and the light came in and your dad Dad yeah.

287
00:29:00,567 --> 00:29:07,387
and you both were able to climb out of that little cage that you built.

288
00:29:07,387 --> 00:29:10,077
And then it's just like, even more shame.

289
00:29:10,077 --> 00:29:10,937
I made a cage.

290
00:29:10,937 --> 00:29:12,227
I made my life difficult.

291
00:29:12,227 --> 00:29:13,627
I made all of this.

292
00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:16,087
It's just like, well, I was doing the best I could.

293
00:29:16,087 --> 00:29:17,777
I didn't know how to deal with it.

294
00:29:17,777 --> 00:29:21,187
So let myself off the hook, change behavior.

295
00:29:21,187 --> 00:29:22,237
You threw that drink away.

296
00:29:22,237 --> 00:29:26,068
If that's not changing your behavior, you know, that's quite remarkable.

297
00:29:26,068 --> 00:29:31,089
Yeah, and it was literally, it was like day and night and that was it.

298
00:29:31,089 --> 00:29:35,069
I mean, yes, it was a struggle, like habits.

299
00:29:35,749 --> 00:29:49,329
The physical habit is obviously more difficult, but I'd also been reducing the amount of
alcohol that I'd, you know, because I had been working with a therapist, we had been

300
00:29:49,329 --> 00:29:50,149
talking.

301
00:29:50,149 --> 00:29:51,719
And I think we're all different.

302
00:29:51,719 --> 00:29:56,449
And I know I have an understanding of the AA program.

303
00:29:56,769 --> 00:30:02,709
But I think each person is different and people relate differently.

304
00:30:02,789 --> 00:30:14,565
I think the way that I did it, that I, you know, walked into the life that I have now is
different.

305
00:30:14,565 --> 00:30:16,045
I needed to do that.

306
00:30:16,045 --> 00:30:18,345
I need to figure things out.

307
00:30:18,345 --> 00:30:24,845
If I was a kid, I would always take something apart and then go, okay, now, how does this
work?

308
00:30:24,845 --> 00:30:29,365
I can't say, well, that's the end result and do that to get that.

309
00:30:29,365 --> 00:30:30,695
So I think people are different.

310
00:30:30,695 --> 00:30:39,125
And I think for me, what is really important is that I feel like I am healed.

311
00:30:39,905 --> 00:30:42,675
It really doesn't even cross my mind.

312
00:30:42,675 --> 00:30:44,533
It doesn't bother me.

313
00:30:45,217 --> 00:30:47,167
Alcohol can be around me.

314
00:30:47,167 --> 00:31:02,437
I don't necessarily, you know, if people are drinking and are out of control or loud or
noisy or whatever, but it's not something that I have to...

315
00:31:02,437 --> 00:31:14,565
I've made a choice and I'm happy with my choice and I feel very comfortable in the choice
that I've made in terms of...

316
00:31:14,565 --> 00:31:23,575
we keep choosing and we keep choosing to open something up and look at it and examine it.

317
00:31:23,575 --> 00:31:44,389
But I think there's something about integration for me of the shadow that is really
important of the shame of really not bypassing it or putting is to bring that in to

318
00:31:44,389 --> 00:31:57,409
bring the shame and and make it understand and make a path you know the Buddhist say you
know awareness once you are on the path you know if you have awareness you're already

319
00:31:57,409 --> 00:32:14,383
there and and really bringing that in in a way that it's part of you and stop trying to
push it outside of you if that makes anything any sense because the more we bring

320
00:32:15,141 --> 00:32:19,481
that shame or that disillusion or that mess into us.

321
00:32:19,481 --> 00:32:20,711
We'll figure it out.

322
00:32:20,711 --> 00:32:23,461
That's what we're meant to do in this incarnation, I believe.

323
00:32:23,461 --> 00:32:31,721
I believe we've been given very clever brains, which can be of use or they can hide
things.

324
00:32:31,721 --> 00:32:39,221
But figuring it out, being awareness, not trying to push it away or suppress the causes.

325
00:32:39,221 --> 00:32:42,033
I feel that suppressing...

326
00:32:42,789 --> 00:32:48,149
things can really lead to more dis -ease and discomfort.

327
00:32:48,149 --> 00:32:53,609
And then we want to numb it because we can't keep things suppressed.

328
00:32:54,029 --> 00:33:16,407
If we try and keep all our stuff in our dustbins and we don't recycle and we don't do
that, it eventually becomes us.

329
00:33:16,407 --> 00:33:19,447
Tell me a little bit about the Wounded Healer.

330
00:33:19,447 --> 00:34:00,229
What does that mean to you?

331
00:34:00,229 --> 00:34:03,525
We are born.

332
00:34:03,525 --> 00:34:05,405
in a certain place in the world.

333
00:34:05,405 --> 00:34:09,745
We are born into a certain family in the world.

334
00:34:09,745 --> 00:34:23,165
And my belief is that, and it's my belief, and I always say to people, you don't need to
agree or whatever, you know, but what resonated with me is we came here to learn.

335
00:34:23,745 --> 00:34:25,795
We came here to experience.

336
00:34:25,795 --> 00:34:30,725
We came here either as a victim to something,

337
00:34:30,725 --> 00:34:34,445
or as a perpetrator and we have these different roles.

338
00:34:34,445 --> 00:34:43,005
I would generally think that most people, and sometimes we have a duality around those
roles.

339
00:34:43,205 --> 00:34:51,565
But what happens is, is our psyche buries things or hides things that we don't want to
face.

340
00:34:51,565 --> 00:35:00,565
And so my sexuality, although I came out in London to the people who would approve of me,
needing my father's approval was like,

341
00:35:00,933 --> 00:35:11,333
I thought our love was like the most important thing, but actually it was a wound and it
was buried under layers of excuses and things and we do that.

342
00:35:11,333 --> 00:35:16,573
So often people don't talk about things, they bottle things up.

343
00:35:16,573 --> 00:35:18,303
We have, we don't even know.

344
00:35:18,303 --> 00:35:25,323
I mean, sometimes we have like unconscious trauma that we don't even realize is there.

345
00:35:25,323 --> 00:35:27,525
These will get buried.

346
00:35:27,525 --> 00:35:30,725
and hidden away by a psyche, by our ego.

347
00:35:30,725 --> 00:35:32,755
Our ego doesn't want to face things.

348
00:35:32,755 --> 00:35:35,654
Our ego wants to be in a certain way.

349
00:35:35,654 --> 00:35:41,335
So the ego, the psyche hides all these things into two dustbins.

350
00:35:41,335 --> 00:35:56,497
And one day something happens to us, often a death, a breakup, an accident, loss of a job,
you know, the dark night of the soul reaching rock bottom.

351
00:35:56,997 --> 00:36:00,907
And it depends how you choose to be the wounded healer.

352
00:36:00,907 --> 00:36:10,987
Do you just take a lorry and dump everything on the driveway or dump it all and start
sorting everything?

353
00:36:10,987 --> 00:36:13,877
Or do you do it little bit by little bit?

354
00:36:13,877 --> 00:36:19,737
And I think when all your rubbish comes out, that's the wounded healer.

355
00:36:19,737 --> 00:36:23,477
And we start sorting things and then we find things that work.

356
00:36:23,477 --> 00:36:25,453
So what worked for me?

357
00:36:25,509 --> 00:36:38,629
was working with energy, was working with angels, was working in a spiritual way, was
connecting to the divine, to source, to whatever it is, and learning healing arts, psychic

358
00:36:38,629 --> 00:36:51,949
arts, medium Shabbat, and then telling my story, I think, you know, telling how did I do
it, what were the things that worked, and they worked so well for me, and that's how I

359
00:36:51,949 --> 00:36:52,260
can...

360
00:36:52,260 --> 00:37:05,060
kind of landed up in the director of the School of Intuition because this worked so well
for me and I mean the two -year healing course that I speak about, I arrived there a mess.

361
00:37:05,060 --> 00:37:18,240
I mean I just you know I was still doing community service, I'd just given up alcohol and
here I was wanting to be a healer and actually when I started the course it was to keep me

362
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:18,780
out the pub.

363
00:37:18,780 --> 00:37:21,733
It had nothing to do with healing whatsoever.

364
00:37:21,733 --> 00:37:27,133
But it was a lot more interesting than going to what I was not going to do.

365
00:37:27,133 --> 00:37:29,473
My ego felt that AA meetings.

366
00:37:29,473 --> 00:37:32,813
And please, anyone who's watching this, we are all different.

367
00:37:32,813 --> 00:37:35,693
We respond to different stimuli.

368
00:37:35,913 --> 00:37:38,723
We need certain things, different things.

369
00:37:38,723 --> 00:37:46,713
And for me, it was like, well, if I do the psychic class on a Tuesday night and I do the
healing on a Wednesday,

370
00:37:46,789 --> 00:37:53,109
And then on a Thursday I can do another workshop and on a Friday I can go to the
Spiritualist Church group.

371
00:37:53,109 --> 00:37:56,339
So I found spiritual things.

372
00:37:56,339 --> 00:37:57,179
I had an interest.

373
00:37:57,179 --> 00:37:59,029
I also had an ability.

374
00:37:59,029 --> 00:38:03,769
I didn't realize how psychic I was as my intuition was really strong.

375
00:38:03,769 --> 00:38:06,989
That's why I was really good in the hospitality.

376
00:38:06,989 --> 00:38:14,917
I could read customers, I could read staff and I was really good at it because I could
almost...

377
00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:18,837
predict what was going to happen and when it was going to happen and how it was going to
happen.

378
00:38:18,837 --> 00:38:21,717
I could also see what was going on with people.

379
00:38:21,717 --> 00:38:26,837
Hospitality is all about observing people and getting people to do things.

380
00:38:27,317 --> 00:38:31,917
So kind of it was something that I, the skill, and so I was fascinated.

381
00:38:31,917 --> 00:38:37,517
The fact that I could sit in a psychic class and, you know, I'd always been told this was
hocus pocus.

382
00:38:37,517 --> 00:38:42,017
Meantime, you know, I had an extraordinary channel.

383
00:38:42,149 --> 00:38:44,379
to channel information for others.

384
00:38:44,379 --> 00:38:46,069
And I was like, okay.

385
00:38:46,069 --> 00:38:49,029
And then, okay, I can do the heal.

386
00:38:49,029 --> 00:38:51,139
You know, I'm also an energy healer.

387
00:38:51,139 --> 00:38:55,149
But all of that was just an interest for me.

388
00:38:55,149 --> 00:39:03,789
And it was only sort of as I was getting into 14, 15 months in the healing course, I was
like, changing.

389
00:39:04,409 --> 00:39:06,339
I'm starting to transform.

390
00:39:06,339 --> 00:39:08,959
This is actually, and I started paying more attention.

391
00:39:08,959 --> 00:39:11,109
It wasn't just like, I'm coming here.

392
00:39:11,109 --> 00:39:12,939
I'll do the homework, it's keeping me busy.

393
00:39:12,939 --> 00:39:16,809
It was actually, I'm changing, I'm feeling better.

394
00:39:16,809 --> 00:39:20,169
I'm waking up more connected.

395
00:39:20,169 --> 00:39:25,469
I'm waking up, you know, my meditation practice is working, it's helping.

396
00:39:26,349 --> 00:39:30,699
Learning energy management and how to manage my energy in this world.

397
00:39:30,699 --> 00:39:31,929
That was an impact.

398
00:39:31,929 --> 00:39:34,949
I used to take on other people's feelings.

399
00:39:34,969 --> 00:39:38,793
You know, alongside of that, you know.

400
00:39:39,141 --> 00:39:41,681
I'm sure I had ADHD.

401
00:39:41,941 --> 00:39:52,321
So meditation, yoga practice, working with energy really enabled me to ground and be in my
body.

402
00:39:52,321 --> 00:39:55,911
And grounding was just like, my God, I can be in my body.

403
00:39:55,911 --> 00:39:57,841
I can be present with myself.

404
00:39:57,841 --> 00:40:00,021
And I don't need to numb myself.

405
00:40:00,021 --> 00:40:02,481
I don't need to, I'm okay.

406
00:40:02,481 --> 00:40:03,681
I don't have shame.

407
00:40:03,681 --> 00:40:06,021
I don't, I can sit quietly.

408
00:40:06,021 --> 00:40:09,239
So it was a massive learning.

409
00:40:09,317 --> 00:40:11,167
Did I answer the question?

410
00:40:12,023 --> 00:40:13,933
You absolutely answered the question.

411
00:40:13,933 --> 00:40:15,623
You've given me six more to ask you.

412
00:40:15,623 --> 00:40:23,395
And I think that was that was fabulous.

413
00:40:23,395 --> 00:40:29,701
Do you think people are spiritual?

414
00:40:29,701 --> 00:40:35,041
I think we are human beings.

415
00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:44,161
I think we, and the being being the part of us that incarnates from somewhere else.

416
00:40:44,161 --> 00:40:46,380
And then it's being human.

417
00:40:47,361 --> 00:40:52,791
And I believe that the balance between the two is really essential.

418
00:40:52,791 --> 00:41:00,293
That we don't bypass and we are away with the fairies and we up in ascension.

419
00:41:00,293 --> 00:41:01,613
in that land.

420
00:41:01,613 --> 00:41:14,483
I think for me what is really important is that we are human and that we bring us and that
everything is energy.

421
00:41:14,483 --> 00:41:29,093
So I have a belief system that that everything is energy and therefore you can call that
spiritual if you want but our connection and bringing as much positive energy

422
00:41:29,093 --> 00:41:35,173
through different mediums to humanity is what we're here to do.

423
00:41:35,173 --> 00:41:37,333
We are here to give and receive love.

424
00:41:37,333 --> 00:41:43,053
And how do we channel love and how do we give love?

425
00:41:43,053 --> 00:41:50,153
And I think if we get that balance, then yeah, we're spiritual.

426
00:41:50,153 --> 00:41:53,133
I don't know, call it what you want, we read bottles.

427
00:41:53,133 --> 00:41:55,159
I don't care what it is, but.

428
00:41:55,397 --> 00:42:01,517
But I believe our purpose is to give and receive love and do that.

429
00:42:01,517 --> 00:42:12,877
Some of us are givers, some of us are receivers, but it's that balance, it's the dance,
it's the yin, the yang, the masculine, the feminine, the heaven and earth, and that space

430
00:42:12,877 --> 00:42:16,017
is the heart, and that's where we give and receive love, you know?

431
00:42:16,017 --> 00:42:24,869
For me, being only up there and not being human.

432
00:42:24,869 --> 00:42:28,109
is a life that you can choose.

433
00:42:28,109 --> 00:42:34,661
I recently spent a month in Nepal.

434
00:42:34,661 --> 00:42:40,981
and being in Kathmandu and going to some of the monasteries.

435
00:42:41,041 --> 00:42:54,241
That is a life you choose to go and just mainly be a spiritual being and I believe there
is purpose so I believe we can choose that.

436
00:42:54,841 --> 00:42:56,971
I love being in the mess.

437
00:42:56,971 --> 00:42:59,741
I love being in this is a learning life for me.

438
00:42:59,741 --> 00:43:04,629
I'm grateful for you know I think that we can use

439
00:43:05,125 --> 00:43:08,845
My drinking ended up being my superpower, right?

440
00:43:08,845 --> 00:43:14,465
My ADHD means I can do six things at once because I can balance and ground them.

441
00:43:14,465 --> 00:43:22,345
So I think we choose our life and we can position ourselves into being different things at
different times.

442
00:43:25,463 --> 00:43:27,183
I think that makes an awful lot of sense.

443
00:43:27,183 --> 00:43:27,403
Yeah.

444
00:43:27,403 --> 00:43:30,283
And I think that's a nice way of describing it.

445
00:43:30,283 --> 00:43:33,923
It's not just, yes, we are, woo- woo, no, we're not, we're three dimensional.

446
00:43:33,923 --> 00:43:36,423
We are work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep.

447
00:43:36,423 --> 00:43:37,853
It's a combination.

448
00:43:37,853 --> 00:43:38,543
It is.

449
00:43:38,543 --> 00:43:42,423
It is that perfect balance of left and right, yin and yang.

450
00:43:42,423 --> 00:43:46,203
I thought that was rather beautiful.

451
00:43:46,203 --> 00:43:52,243
I want to wind back a little bit to the spiritual aspect of your awakening.

452
00:43:52,423 --> 00:43:54,935
You've said you...

453
00:43:54,935 --> 00:44:01,515
At work, you were able to read the situation, read people and tap into what was going on.

454
00:44:02,235 --> 00:44:06,807
How important...

455
00:44:06,807 --> 00:44:08,287
can't quite phrase this right.

456
00:44:08,287 --> 00:44:13,657
What I'm trying to say is that is proof to you of your intuition.

457
00:44:13,657 --> 00:44:16,407
That is proof to you of your gift.

458
00:44:16,407 --> 00:44:32,983
How did going to the do that doing that two year training and then studying spirituality
and energy, how did that affirm what you were doing without realising?

459
00:44:32,983 --> 00:44:34,773
How did you build on that?

460
00:44:34,773 --> 00:44:39,906
Because obviously that is quite a skill.

461
00:45:08,137 --> 00:45:09,761
So, I...

462
00:45:09,761 --> 00:45:14,143
I was in a car with my sister and we had two accidents.

463
00:45:14,500 --> 00:45:35,680
of which in the second accident my spirit left my body and was going to the light and I
experienced that and made a conscious choice as I was leaving I could feel the light I was

464
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:44,805
going that I really wanted to come back and and that

465
00:45:44,805 --> 00:45:55,785
And having known the light at that age or experienced what the light was, I believe that
kind of was part.

466
00:45:55,785 --> 00:46:06,345
So when somebody says go to the highest form of light that you can reach, which is part of
the way you would access certain information, I just know what that light is because I

467
00:46:06,345 --> 00:46:11,385
through a near death experience, I had connected with that.

468
00:46:11,385 --> 00:46:13,317
So

469
00:46:13,317 --> 00:46:14,687
what was the healing light?

470
00:46:14,687 --> 00:46:18,737
You know, as a healer, when they said connect to the healing light and channel it through
your hands.

471
00:46:18,737 --> 00:46:22,017
I knew exactly what that was because I had.

472
00:46:22,117 --> 00:46:27,087
But I also believe we come from the light and we go back to the light.

473
00:46:27,087 --> 00:46:29,657
I believe all spirits come from the light and go back.

474
00:46:29,657 --> 00:46:34,177
So we have some form of connection with that.

475
00:46:34,457 --> 00:46:42,469
And therefore, I feel that although I might have gone

476
00:46:42,469 --> 00:46:45,669
down into the Dark Knight of the Soul.

477
00:46:45,669 --> 00:47:05,349
Alice Bailey who is an old, you know, was, I think she was born sort of 1890s or something
who channeled information, talks about the ego and how the ego and this lifetime we

478
00:47:05,349 --> 00:47:12,069
incarnate and then we go down to the Dark Knight of the Soul which I believe was

479
00:47:12,069 --> 00:47:28,749
that night in jail and then we start and our desire of our soul is to then make our way up
to reach the light and then often we get pushed down again and and so we keep doing that

480
00:47:28,749 --> 00:47:40,489
in our lifetime and I believe that we never quite go back to where we were before each of
the learning builds on our expansion and I believe

481
00:47:41,029 --> 00:47:46,169
that we all have an ability to use our intuition.

482
00:47:46,169 --> 00:47:47,929
I believe we are all healers.

483
00:47:47,929 --> 00:47:59,889
I believe that we all are able to tune into different waves of medium waves or energy
because everything in my belief system is energy.

484
00:48:00,569 --> 00:48:04,409
So I just think that you need to turn the radio on.

485
00:48:04,409 --> 00:48:05,919
You need to, you know what I mean?

486
00:48:05,919 --> 00:48:07,539
Like where do you want to connect?

487
00:48:07,539 --> 00:48:10,885
Do you want to be, and to a degree all our radios are on.

488
00:48:10,885 --> 00:48:21,145
and all of us have an ability to turn them on if they're not on, to work with the energy
or frequencies that are available to us.

489
00:48:21,145 --> 00:48:35,805
Unfortunately, our density, which is our humanness, can be filled with layers of either
dogma in religion, like it's the work of the devil, only the priests can do certain

490
00:48:35,805 --> 00:48:36,485
things.

491
00:48:36,485 --> 00:48:39,717
And so a religion could create dogma.

492
00:48:39,717 --> 00:48:46,217
that then creates fear and anxiety, which then brings a lower vibration.

493
00:48:46,217 --> 00:48:49,777
And that person will say, well, I can't because I'm fearful.

494
00:48:49,837 --> 00:48:57,557
So we would need to go to the roots and look at that fear and that limited belief as to
whether, you know, there was.

495
00:48:57,557 --> 00:49:08,677
Whereas that person might grow up in the church and become an elder and then be able to
heal or speak in tongues or whatever within that religion should they be chosen or become

496
00:49:08,677 --> 00:49:09,541
an elder.

497
00:49:09,541 --> 00:49:16,613
So I don't think it matters how you get there.

498
00:49:16,613 --> 00:49:18,503
I really don't believe that.

499
00:49:18,503 --> 00:49:23,133
I believe we all have a path to the source of all creation.

500
00:49:23,133 --> 00:49:25,933
We all have a pathway to the light.

501
00:49:25,933 --> 00:49:32,421
And I believe a softness of accepting.

502
00:49:32,421 --> 00:49:35,061
many ways to the light.

503
00:49:35,561 --> 00:49:47,501
Bringing in that softening, bringing in the feminine and please I just want to be clear to
everyone when I talk about the feminine and the masculine I'm not talking about male or

504
00:49:47,501 --> 00:49:51,081
female I'm talking about an energy that is soft.

505
00:49:51,081 --> 00:49:52,621
Can we all soften?

506
00:49:52,621 --> 00:49:59,641
Can we all just accept that there are different ways to the light?

507
00:50:00,261 --> 00:50:03,921
And that light supports us on earth.

508
00:50:04,081 --> 00:50:09,181
Heaven on earth, we want to be here, we want to bring it down.

509
00:50:09,181 --> 00:50:15,321
And I'm just going to say this because it's been a narrative I've been running for the
last few months.

510
00:50:16,041 --> 00:50:26,861
I'm so pleased to hear spiritual channelers, influencers, whatever they're called today,
talking about not going up, but bringing it down.

511
00:50:26,885 --> 00:50:30,865
Like let's not, the ascension is not going up.

512
00:50:30,865 --> 00:50:33,885
Let's bring this energy into the earth.

513
00:50:33,885 --> 00:50:39,765
And the 5D is not out in the astral plane and only special people can get to the astral
plane.

514
00:50:39,765 --> 00:50:41,585
That's a load of bollocks.

515
00:50:41,585 --> 00:50:45,225
Let's just bring this energy to the earth.

516
00:50:45,225 --> 00:50:49,365
Let's bring this energy into our hearts and expand it to share.

517
00:50:49,365 --> 00:50:50,875
It's not for the clever ones.

518
00:50:50,875 --> 00:50:52,585
It's not for the priests or whatever.

519
00:50:52,585 --> 00:50:53,805
It's for everyone.

520
00:50:53,805 --> 00:50:55,325
It's free and it's for everyone.

521
00:50:55,325 --> 00:50:56,595
Imagine that.

522
00:51:05,711 --> 00:51:14,071
Yeah, there are people who are advocating that with genuine, genuinely and with passion
and with care.

523
00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:18,531
And as you said, with awareness and such a softness.

524
00:51:19,031 --> 00:51:23,991
It's been fascinating my last few months, every month there's a different word of the
month.

525
00:51:23,991 --> 00:51:25,919
And one was grace.

526
00:51:26,135 --> 00:51:30,255
One was awareness, one was compassion, and one was intention.

527
00:51:30,255 --> 00:51:35,595
And those four things are making me more softer and gentle.

528
00:51:35,595 --> 00:51:38,145
Does not mean a walkover, quite the opposite.

529
00:51:38,145 --> 00:51:41,875
The boundaries are there, what is acceptable, what isn't.

530
00:51:41,875 --> 00:51:44,725
And also, you know, you don't like me, that's fine.

531
00:51:44,725 --> 00:52:26,807
That's one less person I have to worry about.

532
00:52:26,807 --> 00:52:37,737
And tell me, do you, the school that you work at, that you're the director of, how do you
encourage people to sort of bring themselves together and tap into their spirituality,

533
00:52:37,737 --> 00:52:42,687
their oneness, their, the universe, source, whatever you want to call it?

534
00:52:43,141 --> 00:52:48,761
So it's quite interesting because we facilitate the ancient art.

535
00:52:48,761 --> 00:52:54,471
I mean, if you think about us, we're not like, I mean, you might call it new age, but it's
not new age at all.

536
00:52:54,471 --> 00:52:56,841
It's been around since time immemorial.

537
00:52:56,841 --> 00:53:06,621
You know, if you think of, you can think of, if you want to think about Europe and Celtic
and how the art, you know, that's been there.

538
00:53:06,621 --> 00:53:12,997
You think about the Egyptians, you think about tribal shamanism.

539
00:53:12,997 --> 00:53:27,941
So, kind of regressed in some ways, I think, you know, like somehow we've got AI and we
can do heart transplant with robots and we can do all these things yet.

540
00:53:27,941 --> 00:53:47,845
in the mental body but what about the spiritual body, what about the emotional body, what
about how that impacts the physical body and so healing, psychic development, mediumship

541
00:53:47,845 --> 00:53:57,745
It's just a vehicle to what you're asking me, because we don't actually do a course on
wholeness.

542
00:53:57,745 --> 00:54:07,725
We don't, we're facilitating learning a skill like carpentry or it's a skill set.

543
00:54:07,725 --> 00:54:15,689
It's, you know, here is methodology, here is, but part of that is how do you come back?

544
00:54:15,689 --> 00:54:16,029
heart.

545
00:54:16,029 --> 00:54:18,749
You know how do you get access information?

546
00:54:18,749 --> 00:54:24,949
So let's let's take I'll use an example so connecting with a spirit guide.

547
00:54:25,329 --> 00:54:37,669
So there's a way there's methodology on how you can do it and you know still the mind and
go to the earth reach you know connect with it bring it through people can use you know

548
00:54:37,669 --> 00:54:42,533
meeting with a spirit guide or an angel.

549
00:54:42,533 --> 00:54:43,973
That's one part of it.

550
00:54:43,973 --> 00:54:55,781
The most important part of that for me is somebody has the ability to access a being that
has higher energy that can support them.

551
00:54:55,781 --> 00:54:58,661
That for me, that's the reason I do this work.

552
00:54:58,661 --> 00:55:05,101
Not to teach, not to learn the methodology, but what is the actual spiritual result?

553
00:55:05,101 --> 00:55:07,201
What is the human result?

554
00:55:07,201 --> 00:55:12,389
What is the benefit of being able to do that?

555
00:55:12,389 --> 00:55:28,389
What is the ability to have intuition and and and be able to you know astrology astrology
is supportive because if you look at your chart it's just another awareness that can

556
00:55:28,389 --> 00:55:38,529
support you along okay I know I'm going through my Saturn return which I've just this is
going to be a life -changing year I don't hang my hat on that

557
00:55:38,533 --> 00:55:47,193
But I've got that there in terms of, okay, so things not changing in your life at 59 years
old, that's normal.

558
00:55:47,193 --> 00:55:50,493
So there are gonna be changes at that time.

559
00:55:50,493 --> 00:55:53,953
So at least you're going, okay, so what am I preparing in my life?

560
00:55:53,953 --> 00:55:56,353
How am I navigating my relationships?

561
00:55:56,353 --> 00:56:00,613
It's an awareness that can support you.

562
00:56:00,973 --> 00:56:07,717
And you know, when I, you know, it's a bit like,

563
00:56:07,717 --> 00:56:12,227
retrograde, a mercury retrograde, everything's blamed on that.

564
00:56:12,227 --> 00:56:14,317
No, but it's an awareness.

565
00:56:17,637 --> 00:56:30,717
All of the things that we facilitate is about managing your energy, taking personal
responsibility, and that you have choice.

566
00:56:31,637 --> 00:56:43,617
And I think if you apply that to whatever it is that you're doing, I just think the
benefit of becoming a healer, the benefit of not only learning a skill, but a way of

567
00:56:43,617 --> 00:56:44,117
being.

568
00:56:44,117 --> 00:56:46,537
And I think that's for me.

569
00:56:46,565 --> 00:56:59,545
is the most important is that a healer or somebody, because whether you're a medium,
whether you're a healer, whether you're an astrologer, it's about supporting and holding

570
00:56:59,545 --> 00:57:02,745
space and witnessing others.

571
00:57:02,745 --> 00:57:10,533
And the journey is to the wise compassionate observer.

572
00:57:10,533 --> 00:57:42,185
And imagine if the whole world became wise, compassionate observers.

573
00:57:42,185 --> 00:57:53,189
How do we become the compassionate observer to humanity?

574
00:57:53,189 --> 00:58:02,049
And when I say that, I don't mean don't do anything if we are able to do things, but it's
the, how do we sit in that space?

575
00:58:02,249 --> 00:58:14,129
Very difficult as human beings because we brought up to take sides, we brought up around
power and money, we brought up and I, again, and I'm not saying we should all give away

576
00:58:14,129 --> 00:58:18,169
our belongings and become, you know, in service.

577
00:58:18,169 --> 00:58:21,269
I'm not saying that I have a very lovely lifestyle.

578
00:58:21,269 --> 00:58:21,861
I'm very

579
00:58:21,861 --> 00:58:23,681
supported by spirit.

580
00:58:24,061 --> 00:58:26,341
I'm not saying those things either.

581
00:58:26,341 --> 00:58:36,439
I'm saying how do we work those to live a life where we have enough for us.

582
00:58:36,439 --> 00:58:39,703
Fair points, yeah.

583
00:58:39,703 --> 00:58:41,923
You've talked about managing energy.

584
00:58:41,923 --> 00:58:47,429
What does that mean?

585
00:58:47,429 --> 00:58:58,409
So energy management to me is a bit like spiritually or energetically, it's a bit like the
ABC.

586
00:58:58,889 --> 00:59:06,589
Like if one can see their whole being as being energy.

587
00:59:06,629 --> 00:59:15,429
So I am everything is energy and that this energy, first and foremost, we are

588
00:59:15,429 --> 00:59:20,309
incarnated into this lifetime at this present moment in time.

589
00:59:20,309 --> 00:59:33,769
Therefore we need to be grounded and it's really interesting the more grounded you are and
I mentioned this earlier about I'm so glad that ascension is not up there and it's down in

590
00:59:33,769 --> 00:59:40,917
us and that the fifth dimension is coming into us we're not going up to it but if you are
grounded

591
00:59:41,125 --> 00:59:48,045
The higher you can go, the higher information you can access, the higher vibration that
you can then bring there.

592
00:59:48,045 --> 00:59:53,625
So grounding and being present, I mean all the gurus talk about the present moment.

593
00:59:54,365 --> 00:59:58,085
The way to be in the present moment is being grounded.

594
00:59:59,045 --> 01:00:07,345
Being attuned to the source of your creation is really important and being able to balance
that in the heart.

595
01:00:07,905 --> 01:00:11,045
And then our energy.

596
01:00:11,045 --> 01:00:23,825
needs to you know as you have your personal boundary around touch so you should have an
energetica who are you letting into your energy who are you giving permission into your

597
01:00:23,825 --> 01:00:40,797
energy and by grounding and creating a bubble you are protecting your energy we are impats
or everyone is an impact our energy takes on the energy of our environment of other people

598
01:00:40,901 --> 01:00:41,611
etc.

599
01:00:41,611 --> 01:00:59,781
You know and therefore we need to manage that management hygiene management yeah and for
me learning to ground and be in my body was a game changer.

600
01:00:59,781 --> 01:01:05,921
All that spiritual work that I did was because I was grounded and I was in my body.

601
01:01:05,921 --> 01:01:16,389
And then I started having really good physical boundaries, emotional boundaries, mental
boundaries, and spiritual boundaries.

602
01:01:16,389 --> 01:01:19,069
Some of them I learned the hard way.

603
01:01:19,149 --> 01:01:27,599
And I just need to say I'm sitting here talking a little bit around and being a little
bit, which I don't mean to, I'm not the expert.

604
01:01:27,599 --> 01:01:29,929
I am still the wounded healer.

605
01:01:29,929 --> 01:01:36,329
I'm still learning and although I'm gaining knowledge around certain things, still in this
journey.

606
01:01:36,329 --> 01:01:44,309
And it's a lifetime of being the wounded healer, coming down and coming up, learning the
next lesson.

607
01:01:44,309 --> 01:01:46,029
I never want to.

608
01:01:46,029 --> 01:01:46,689
learning.

609
01:01:46,689 --> 01:01:50,409
I don't ever want to be an authority.

610
01:01:50,409 --> 01:01:51,249
I'll ascend.

611
01:01:51,249 --> 01:01:52,109
I don't want to ascend.

612
01:01:52,109 --> 01:01:53,529
I love this life.

613
01:01:54,489 --> 01:02:08,327
So I'm glad to be the wound, continue being the wounded healer.

614
01:02:08,327 --> 01:02:14,907
I love that I met the the wounded healer in the the shamanism I was studying last year.

615
01:02:15,027 --> 01:02:25,577
And it is embracing who you are the good side, the not so good sides, the shadow, the
shade, and every part of you and going Yeah, this is me.

616
01:02:25,577 --> 01:02:27,967
I mean, this is what you talked about earlier about shame.

617
01:02:27,967 --> 01:02:29,087
This is me.

618
01:02:29,087 --> 01:02:31,407
I'm, I'm this I'm manipulative.

619
01:02:31,407 --> 01:02:32,157
I'm ugly.

620
01:02:32,157 --> 01:02:33,463
I can be angry.

621
01:02:33,463 --> 01:02:35,443
I can also be loving and kind.

622
01:02:35,443 --> 01:02:38,311
And if I'm doing those from

623
01:02:40,023 --> 01:02:42,113
an intention rather than a need.

624
01:02:42,113 --> 01:02:43,203
I need to be loved.

625
01:02:43,203 --> 01:02:44,943
I need to be protected.

626
01:02:44,943 --> 01:02:47,143
I'm doing that the other way.

627
01:02:47,683 --> 01:02:54,043
That change is so profound and it sort of negates all the ugly side of that.

628
01:02:54,303 --> 01:03:07,503
And the shamanic aspect of it I found really rewarding and very curious how when you are
aligned to what you went to be doing, things seem to flow and it's

629
01:03:07,895 --> 01:03:10,757
It's attractive in a really healthy kind of way.

630
01:03:10,757 --> 01:03:12,757
Yeah, yeah.

631
01:03:13,257 --> 01:03:26,297
And I also, I don't know why I want to mention this, but rather than knowing the
destination when things are difficult, have an inquiry.

632
01:03:26,297 --> 01:03:28,467
You don't need to have the answer.

633
01:03:28,467 --> 01:03:38,427
I think if we have an inquiry into a challenge, an inquiry, why am I angry?

634
01:03:38,427 --> 01:03:39,813
What is this?

635
01:03:39,813 --> 01:03:41,853
Why am I responding?

636
01:03:41,933 --> 01:03:45,113
Why would I, you know, and why?

637
01:03:45,113 --> 01:03:49,873
And an inquiry into other people's ruling.

638
01:03:49,873 --> 01:03:50,753
Do you know what I'm saying?

639
01:03:50,753 --> 01:04:03,233
So this ability to, rather than to judge and to put yourself on a pedestal of any time and
go, I'm right and they wrong.

640
01:04:03,233 --> 01:04:09,549
And I think that's what I was trying to talk about, this righteousness and wrongness.

641
01:04:09,701 --> 01:04:13,121
is what is the inquiry, why am I responding?

642
01:04:13,181 --> 01:04:14,661
What is it in me?

643
01:04:14,661 --> 01:04:29,131
What is that, the inquiry that actually allows you to integrate it rather than saying this
is bad or evil or wrong.

644
01:04:29,315 --> 01:04:31,095
triggers are our friends, aren't they?

645
01:04:31,095 --> 01:04:38,895
The more we get triggered, the more we have that capacity to learn, to get curious and go,
hmm, why am I getting angry?

646
01:04:38,895 --> 01:04:40,615
Yeah, that's the reason.

647
01:04:40,615 --> 01:04:45,065
I think it's, it has to be really gentle inquiry.

648
01:04:45,065 --> 01:04:45,785
And I think you're right.

649
01:04:45,785 --> 01:04:48,235
I think it makes a huge difference.

650
01:04:48,997 --> 01:04:52,517
And it's back to the feminine.

651
01:04:52,517 --> 01:04:55,909
Back to the soften- ing.

652
01:04:55,909 --> 01:05:04,009
This is unfortunately the negative masculine, believe me, and when I say that, that is the
negative masculine.

653
01:05:04,009 --> 01:05:09,849
Being assertive, being courageous, being, you know, those are the positive masculine.

654
01:05:10,589 --> 01:05:16,769
I think the poor old patriarchy is getting a very bad rep these days.

655
01:05:18,829 --> 01:05:25,829
I'm not going to say undeservingly because I'm not going to say that, but I think if we
can create the

656
01:05:25,829 --> 01:05:45,229
inquiry again rather than the judgment and bring the inquiry into conversation around
power, one directional, you know, certain behaviors that have come through generations of

657
01:05:45,229 --> 01:05:49,009
learning and generational trauma of our species.

658
01:05:49,009 --> 01:05:50,619
There is another inquiry.

659
01:05:50,619 --> 01:05:57,044
In fact, yesterday I was facilitating some ancestral healing.

660
01:05:57,044 --> 01:06:17,665
that was really curious around somebody whose ancestral generational trauma came both from
French and German descent and how that impacted their way of being in certain behaviors

661
01:06:17,665 --> 01:06:24,805
and creating the inquiry to heal the generational trauma and bringing that in as

662
01:06:24,805 --> 01:06:36,823
within themselves of that contrast and carrying both of that was really a beautiful
healing to observe.

663
01:06:36,823 --> 01:06:48,143
The whole ancestral healing is incredibly fascinating because we forget that our parents
taught us what they were taught by their parents.

664
01:06:48,143 --> 01:06:54,283
And unless they have done any work on themselves and thought about things, their parents
were taught back.

665
01:06:54,283 --> 01:07:03,323
So you're being brought up by societal standards which are 30, 40, 50, 60, 100, 200 years
old.

666
01:07:03,323 --> 01:07:07,063
Same as your parental beliefs, same as their religious beliefs.

667
01:07:07,063 --> 01:07:18,743
I mean, it's only as you said, when we start being inquiring and looking back at these
things, we can go, you know, yes, I do have that, that trait, and I don't want to pass

668
01:07:18,743 --> 01:07:20,443
that on to my children.

669
01:07:20,703 --> 01:07:30,373
So explain a little bit about the ancestral healing, because I think it's it sounds very
woo woo, but it's not.

670
01:07:30,373 --> 01:07:34,893
So let's take epigenetics, which we forget.

671
01:07:34,893 --> 01:07:39,673
Let's just go back to that cellular memory is passed on.

672
01:07:39,673 --> 01:07:50,913
And that is scientifically there was, I can't remember the guys who did it, but about
seven or eight years ago, there was a whole scientific study on the fact that our cells

673
01:07:50,913 --> 01:07:57,221
hold memory and the memory of the cells is passed on from one generation to the next
generation.

674
01:07:57,221 --> 01:08:05,961
and that memory can, if everything is energy, the alchemy of healing works.

675
01:08:06,401 --> 01:08:13,041
Okay, because if our whole body is energy, we can shift and move and integrate.

676
01:08:13,041 --> 01:08:27,013
So therefore, if cells have memory of our generations, and as I say, there's a couple of
really good scientific studies on epigenetics, then one can heal that wounding.

677
01:08:27,013 --> 01:08:32,033
transmuting the energy within the self through energy healing.

678
01:08:32,333 --> 01:08:40,593
But let's take physical abuse.

679
01:08:40,973 --> 01:08:42,913
Hurt people hurt people.

680
01:08:43,152 --> 01:08:54,053
Often within a generation through famine, through war, through whatever.

681
01:08:54,053 --> 01:09:11,053
take Colombia as a country where through the nature of being occupied by the Spanish and
through soldiers coming, you know, and through that, you know, people became very violent

682
01:09:11,053 --> 01:09:13,273
and were abused violently.

683
01:09:13,273 --> 01:09:17,693
They had children who to get things done, they then abused.

684
01:09:17,693 --> 01:09:20,413
And then those children abused again.

685
01:09:20,413 --> 01:09:23,493
So that is just a trait that could have been

686
01:09:23,493 --> 01:09:28,163
passed down through generations because that is learned behavior.

687
01:09:28,163 --> 01:09:33,293
To be abused is the way that you feel safe because that's what happened.

688
01:09:33,293 --> 01:09:47,613
And sometimes you can either be a mirror or that and and so sometimes it will miss a
generation because say for example a child who would have an alcoholic parent would choose

689
01:09:47,613 --> 01:09:53,781
to miss because they would go totally the other way not touch it or whatever but often
their child.

690
01:09:53,989 --> 01:10:02,029
would then turn to alcoholism or whatever because that runs in the family lineage.

691
01:10:02,329 --> 01:10:15,449
So by going back and finding the cause of when that happened and understanding it and
having an inquiry around the generational trauma, understanding it, bringing it into the

692
01:10:15,449 --> 01:10:21,733
light, integrating it, awareness, acceptance, it doesn't even need to, I don't even need

693
01:10:21,733 --> 01:10:25,753
I don't believe that one needs even forgiveness to heal.

694
01:10:25,753 --> 01:10:35,237
Awareness, acknowledgement, can already shift energy within a family line.

695
01:10:35,237 --> 01:10:36,817
But you think about the traits.

696
01:10:36,817 --> 01:10:38,607
I always say remember the good ones.

697
01:10:38,607 --> 01:10:46,237
If you want to think about ancestral healing, why don't you think about, my great
grandfather was like that and then my father was like that.

698
01:10:46,237 --> 01:10:48,307
You know, I come from a circus family.

699
01:10:48,307 --> 01:10:49,777
My family were adventurers.

700
01:10:49,777 --> 01:10:50,787
I'm an adventurer.

701
01:10:50,787 --> 01:10:53,097
I love going to foreign countries.

702
01:10:53,157 --> 01:10:58,057
That is just such a great ancestral thing that I have for my family.

703
01:10:58,737 --> 01:11:00,177
Think about beautiful eyes.

704
01:11:00,177 --> 01:11:01,327
Think about thick hair.

705
01:11:01,327 --> 01:11:05,221
Think about lovely things.

706
01:11:05,221 --> 01:11:07,681
What we do in the light we get in the dark.

707
01:11:07,681 --> 01:11:09,411
So then think about the bad things.

708
01:11:09,411 --> 01:11:16,201
So when you're talking a fondness of an ancestral line, you know, all of our family were
teachers.

709
01:11:16,201 --> 01:11:18,841
All of our family were doctors.

710
01:11:18,941 --> 01:11:20,441
There's a sense of pride.

711
01:11:20,441 --> 01:11:23,681
Yeah, but with them, my father was also a boozer.

712
01:11:23,981 --> 01:11:29,015
And his grandfather was a boozer.

713
01:11:29,015 --> 01:11:32,195
I think you struck something very, very important there.

714
01:11:32,195 --> 01:11:42,655
And I did a shamanic journey a few months ago and I was given a family tree and I went
back through it.

715
01:11:42,655 --> 01:11:53,505
And as I was walking back through this, I realised that every single one of these people
had been born, lived to adulthood to reproduce.

716
01:11:53,505 --> 01:11:58,075
So they were all survivors and every one of them gave me

717
01:11:58,391 --> 01:12:01,551
wisdom, knowledge, help, support.

718
01:12:01,551 --> 01:12:11,711
Every one of my ancestors had given me all my good traits and the bad ones maybe, but they
had all participated in who I am today.

719
01:12:11,711 --> 01:12:22,571
And it was remarkable to look back, just going back and back and back at all these people
who have contributed to me, to you, to everybody.

720
01:12:22,891 --> 01:12:27,343
And what you've just reminded me how important is to celebrate

721
01:12:27,415 --> 01:12:28,425
They were heroes.

722
01:12:28,425 --> 01:12:31,165
They all survived long enough.

723
01:12:31,165 --> 01:12:34,437
It is so beautiful what you said there, which I'd forgotten about.

724
01:12:34,437 --> 01:12:35,657
Yeah, yeah.

725
01:12:35,657 --> 01:12:42,337
So I think people always think what is the bad I got from my generational, you know, from
my generational background.

726
01:12:42,337 --> 01:12:53,377
And yes, think of the wars, think of the, you know, South Africa, because I know there's
quite a bit, you know, think about apartheid and what it did.

727
01:12:53,757 --> 01:12:56,257
And the traumas within individual families.

728
01:12:56,257 --> 01:13:03,973
And we see that group areas act in particular in Cape Town, amongst the mixed race, drug
colored.

729
01:13:03,973 --> 01:13:05,493
community.

730
01:13:08,325 --> 01:13:15,493
just relocated one day, not given any money for what you had built.

731
01:13:15,493 --> 01:13:32,993
how that runs as a pattern of scarcity with even very wealthy mixed race colored people
today is that that trauma of scarcity, even though they have more than enough, there is a

732
01:13:32,993 --> 01:13:45,349
fear of not having enough because it might be taken away tomorrow and because that trauma
still sits in the energy field.

733
01:13:45,349 --> 01:13:49,317
So integrated, own it.

734
01:13:49,317 --> 01:13:59,277
And, you know, one of the other things that's a touchy subject at the moment, but this is
a spiritual platform, is owning your white privilege.

735
01:13:59,557 --> 01:14:01,917
You know, I have white privilege.

736
01:14:01,917 --> 01:14:03,217
I grew up in South Africa.

737
01:14:03,217 --> 01:14:05,737
I benefited from a system.

738
01:14:05,737 --> 01:14:15,357
And I'm not proud of it, but I need to integrate that into who I am as a human being
because it's part of me.

739
01:14:15,377 --> 01:14:18,609
It's part of the fact, it's a fact.

740
01:14:18,757 --> 01:14:32,977
And it's something that is just part of me and I rather express that and you know, there's
a lot of, you know, one of my learnings at the moment and one of my inquiries at the

741
01:14:32,977 --> 01:14:45,125
moment is diversity and is around where we act of being in a space of the heart when
dealing with a very conflicting world at the moment and

742
01:14:45,125 --> 01:14:59,945
And for me, it's a journey I'm taking to understand my own unconscious bias through my
generational trauma and wanting to look at it with an open heart and an inquiry of, I'm

743
01:14:59,945 --> 01:15:04,505
not going to blame my parents or their parents or the system.

744
01:15:04,505 --> 01:15:12,791
How do I integrate it into being the best version of myself today?

745
01:15:12,791 --> 01:15:14,941
You've, I think you've absolutely nailed it.

746
01:15:14,941 --> 01:15:16,481
It's, this is who I am.

747
01:15:16,481 --> 01:15:19,171
As you said, I have that white privilege.

748
01:15:19,171 --> 01:15:22,751
I've got the, I've got the male aspect of that, you know, and all those things.

749
01:15:22,751 --> 01:15:24,571
It's, it's made me who I am.

750
01:15:24,571 --> 01:15:26,881
So I can either go, yeah, hey, look at me.

751
01:15:26,881 --> 01:15:41,771
Or I can, as you said, integrate it and use it with, for service, use it for good, use it
for something of value, give something back from, from the privilege and the

752
01:15:42,135 --> 01:15:46,949
the honor I have had of being who I am.

753
01:15:46,949 --> 01:15:57,449
So what's interesting, sorry to interrupt you, Hamish, but there are two two that I think
have come up today in our narrative and in our inquiry.

754
01:15:58,589 --> 01:16:12,229
And one is intention INTENTION the other one is CONSCIOUSNESS And there is unconscious,
remember I said about the dustbins and I said about the wounded healer and I just want to

755
01:16:12,229 --> 01:16:16,117
reiterate that inquiry into the dustbins.

756
01:16:16,837 --> 01:16:31,077
into what is unconscious within us, into the consciousness, keeping asking the difficult
questions, keep asking the good questions, into how we turn up and show up as the best

757
01:16:31,077 --> 01:16:35,959
version of ourselves.

758
01:16:35,959 --> 01:16:42,559
How do we then, this is a good one for you, how do we question our unconscious?

759
01:16:42,599 --> 01:16:51,973
How do we find out what we don't know about ourselves?

760
01:16:51,973 --> 01:17:07,093
When you, I think, somatic work, I'm not a somatic practitioner, but recently just diving
into some of Jeff Levine's work around trauma, is when we feel discomfort in our body

761
01:17:07,093 --> 01:17:08,203
around something.

762
01:17:08,203 --> 01:17:17,157
I think our body is a really, really good barometer of

763
01:17:17,157 --> 01:17:28,517
I think any form of discomfort, whether it be in our heads, in our emotions, in our
spiritual being, if there's discomfort.

764
01:17:28,517 --> 01:17:31,117
What is it within us?

765
01:17:31,997 --> 01:17:34,717
Not outside.

766
01:17:34,717 --> 01:17:36,127
Why are we uncomfortable?

767
01:17:36,127 --> 01:17:38,137
Why has that person upset me?

768
01:17:38,137 --> 01:17:41,217
Why did that question make me agitated?

769
01:17:41,217 --> 01:17:43,667
There haven't been any questions by the way that may be.

770
01:17:43,667 --> 01:17:49,897
But say for example you were to ask me something that made me agitated in this
conversation.

771
01:17:49,897 --> 01:17:53,509
I promise you there's nothing.

772
01:17:53,509 --> 01:17:58,269
I would go away and go, what do I need to learn?

773
01:17:58,269 --> 01:17:59,669
What is that prompt?

774
01:17:59,669 --> 01:18:08,729
It's like the minute I feel discomfort, it's like my Jiminy Cricket, you know, let your
conscience be your guide.

775
01:18:08,729 --> 01:18:14,149
In there is what's poking me, why is it poking me?

776
01:18:14,149 --> 01:18:20,689
Whether I'm watching something on television, what is that in me that I can't be neutral,
that I can't bring it into my heart?

777
01:18:20,689 --> 01:18:23,215
And you see horrendous things.

778
01:18:23,397 --> 01:18:28,757
And if you can just bring that in, you know, it's that integration again, isn't it?

779
01:18:28,917 --> 01:18:32,437
And often they double -edged swords.

780
01:18:33,297 --> 01:18:41,925
You know, like how do you have fierce compassion?

781
01:18:41,925 --> 01:18:44,845
for somebody but not rescue them.

782
01:18:45,065 --> 01:18:58,545
I mean that's one of my lessons in life, you know, how do I have fierce compassion of the
archetype of the healer without rescuing and being the witness?

783
01:18:59,125 --> 01:19:05,525
And you want to pull people out, you want to pull people out the shit, you know?

784
01:19:05,625 --> 01:19:12,187
And sometimes you can't, sometimes, because if they don't reach the dark night of the
soul.

785
01:19:12,421 --> 01:19:17,681
If I hadn't been caught drunk driving, where would I be today?

786
01:19:18,081 --> 01:19:25,413
If somebody had said, don't stay, don't drive, don't drive, we're taking your keys away.

787
01:19:25,413 --> 01:19:26,313
Would I be here today?

788
01:19:26,313 --> 01:19:26,973
Maybe not.

789
01:19:26,973 --> 01:19:34,807
Maybe my life would have taken a completely different trajectory.

790
01:19:34,807 --> 01:19:35,845
Who knows?

791
01:19:35,845 --> 01:19:37,911
Who knows.

792
01:19:37,911 --> 01:19:43,611
I think that is the most spectacular place to leave this incredible conversation.

793
01:19:43,611 --> 01:19:44,901
We could talk for hours.

794
01:19:44,901 --> 01:19:45,950
There's no doubt about it.

795
01:19:45,950 --> 01:19:47,631
We really could.

796
01:19:50,967 --> 01:19:53,427
think this was been a remarkable conversation.

797
01:19:53,427 --> 01:19:54,087
Thank you, Cindy.

798
01:19:54,087 --> 01:19:55,357
I've really enjoyed it.

799
01:19:55,357 --> 01:20:04,987
I think your, your insight and your enthusiasm just, you know, it just shines and it is,
it is curiosity.

800
01:20:04,987 --> 01:20:07,107
It is that inquiry.

801
01:20:08,047 --> 01:20:14,199
and that softness, it's all those things that when we start doing that, we

802
01:20:14,199 --> 01:20:15,689
and stop judging ourselves.

803
01:20:15,689 --> 01:20:16,759
Let's add that one.

804
01:20:16,759 --> 01:20:21,119
We really do begin to see what we can really become.

805
01:20:21,119 --> 01:20:21,979
And I think that's lovely.

806
01:20:21,979 --> 01:20:26,279
And I think you've really helped make some sense of that today.

807
01:20:26,917 --> 01:20:27,507
Brilliant.

808
01:20:27,507 --> 01:20:28,567
Hamish, thank you.

809
01:20:28,567 --> 01:20:32,397
It's been lovely to be on your platform.

810
01:20:32,537 --> 01:20:42,697
I wish you many fabulous, fabulous conversations and many, many inquiries into what's
there for people.

811
01:20:42,697 --> 01:20:48,257
So thank you for doing this work and taking the time to set this up.

812
01:20:48,497 --> 01:20:53,799
And maybe in some time we can chat again.

813
01:20:54,103 --> 01:20:59,243
I think we definitely will do.

814
01:20:59,243 --> 01:21:01,623
Now, a couple of quick questions I want to ask you.

815
01:21:01,623 --> 01:21:06,083
Where can people find out more about you and what you do?

816
01:21:06,085 --> 01:21:14,225
So the best place is the School of Intuition and Healing, which is the school and I spoke
about that a lot.

817
01:21:14,525 --> 01:21:23,475
Something that I haven't spoken about, I run an intuitive business coaching practice.

818
01:21:23,475 --> 01:21:35,429
That is the work that I do and love because I have this massive business knowledge and
I've really integrated my intuition and my healing ability.

819
01:21:35,429 --> 01:21:45,929
into business and I support people who are consciously working with energy within
business.

820
01:21:46,529 --> 01:21:52,729
So that you would find at cindyhomes .co .za.

821
01:21:53,329 --> 01:22:05,349
And then also what I'd love to offer people listening to this is we have a self -led
course on invincible energy.

822
01:22:05,349 --> 01:22:11,829
which is, as I said, self -led, it's seven days, it's 20 minutes a day.

823
01:22:11,829 --> 01:22:19,529
But if you can follow 50 % of what is facilitated in there, I promise you your life will
change.

824
01:22:19,529 --> 01:22:21,458
It's just about energy management.

825
01:22:21,458 --> 01:22:22,569
How do I grind?

826
01:22:22,569 --> 01:22:23,909
How do I cleanse?

827
01:22:23,909 --> 01:22:25,249
How do I protect?

828
01:22:25,249 --> 01:22:28,049
How do I be in my body every day?

829
01:22:28,129 --> 01:22:31,749
And if you can get that right, it's a game changer.

830
01:22:31,849 --> 01:22:32,677
So...

831
01:22:32,677 --> 01:22:36,977
Hamish, I'm sure we'll put the links into where this podcast is.

832
01:22:37,137 --> 01:22:42,617
And hopefully we'll see you maybe one day at the school if it resonates with you.

833
01:22:43,127 --> 01:22:45,547
I'm definitely going to sign up for that seven day course.

834
01:22:45,547 --> 01:22:47,067
That sounds fabulous.

835
01:22:47,067 --> 01:22:48,047
Yeah.

836
01:22:48,047 --> 01:22:48,687
Thank you.

837
01:22:48,687 --> 01:22:50,447
And I'll put everything in the show notes.

838
01:22:50,447 --> 01:23:01,733
And lastly, what is your superpower that you gained from your awakening?

839
01:23:01,733 --> 01:23:06,313
My superpower is that I see everything as being energy.

840
01:23:06,313 --> 01:23:20,631
I'm an alchemist of energy and I think that for me is my superpower, is this ability to
connect, to be with it, to be it.

841
01:23:20,631 --> 01:23:21,611
Brilliant.

842
01:23:21,611 --> 01:23:22,731
Thank you ever so much.

843
01:23:22,731 --> 01:23:26,081
That has been a really wonderful session today.

844
01:23:26,081 --> 01:23:27,877
I've really enjoyed our conversation.

845
01:23:27,877 --> 01:23:28,387
Me too.

846
01:23:28,387 --> 01:23:32,081
Thanks, Hamish.

847
01:23:32,863 --> 01:23:37,223
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Crucible: Conversations for the Curious.

848
01:23:37,223 --> 01:23:45,863
If these powerful stories of transformation resonated with you, be sure to like, subscribe
and share this show with anyone who you think could do with a dose of inspiration for

849
01:23:45,863 --> 01:23:46,803
their own journey.

850
01:23:46,803 --> 01:23:53,383
I would really appreciate it if you could make any comments on your favourite podcast
platform as well, that helps me reach more people.

851
01:23:53,383 --> 01:23:56,843
All the important links and information are in the show notes below.

852
01:23:56,843 --> 01:23:59,927
Thank you very much for listening and catch up with you soon.