[upbeat jazz music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. How's Peaches today?
I know we've made fun of this, uh, show before. I'm good, by the way. I know we've made fun of this TV show before, Undercover Boss.
Yes.
All reality TV is staged.
I'm pretty sure most all of it is, yeah.
Just like every radio prank call is fake.
Yes.
You know, The Biggest Loser is just a bunch of fat people. "I didn't lose 12 pounds in a week. I was supposed to lose 15."
Oh, that show, it is brutal to watch.
Yeah.
Well, they worked out all day every day. They would give the, their contestants a whole butt load of supplements.
Mm-hmm.
And they, they, they said they didn't, but they did.
Ah.
Remember the whole controversy with Jillian Michaels and all of that?
I don't remember that.
They were giving, like, so- They were just injecting them with random crap [laughs]
[laughs]
To lose a bunch of weight.
[laughs]
Uh, and then most people would just gain the weight right back as they go back to the, to their normal lives.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um, but Undercover Boss is the, the, the show that I was watching with, uh, Aubrey last night. We were watching the, uh, Dutch Bros. co-founder.
Okay.
And i- it's not, not just targeting that episode, but all the episodes are so staged. Because what do you mean the CEO, co-founder, president, and founder of the company can go undercover with a whole bunch of cameras-
Yeah
... and they tell the staff of that one specific location they're at, "Oh, hey," like, "we're filming a game show to see if this guy is the next big worker for your restaurant"?
Yeah, I know.
Does that make any sense at all?
Pretty unbelievable. Pretty unbelievable.
But then they always pick the people with the biggest sob stories.
Yep. Oh, yeah.
Like, they always have that contestant-
Mm-hmm
... well, the, the, the quote-unquote contestant that's actually, like, the head of the company-
[laughs]
... uh, talk with that one employee-
Mm-hmm
... who goes like, "My, my daughter, she has two, she has no legs. She has no arms."
Yeah.
"She, she-"
But she's a hard worker.
"I have to carry her everywhere, but I'm trying my best to make by. I serve everyone with a smile." And then sure enough, at the end of the show, they get, like-
Yeah
... $20,000 [laughs]
Yeah, give them a big pile of cash.
Gifted to them.
Mm-hmm.
So it's just, it's so funny. I wonder what those people think when they have to go through something like that. I mean, could you imagine if something like that happened here? Like, if all of a sudden Frank Vandersloot comes in in disguise, and we're supposed to believe this is, this is the next big radio DJ. [laughs]
Yeah, and like, "Hmm, he looks sort of familiar."
"Boy, he sounds the same." [laughs]
And you know, they have these disguises they give them that are terrible.
Yeah. [laughs]
They're like the most awful disguises.
The co-founder of Dutch Bros., he's from, uh, Great Pass, Oregon, or something like that.
Grants Pass, maybe?
Grants Pass, Oregon.
Okay.
Yeah, he was a d- dairy, his whole family was a, they were dairy farmers.
Okay.
And, uh, him and his brother, um, started Dutch Bros. 'cause they're two brothers, they're Dutch.
Ah.
Hence the name.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but his brother died of Lou Gehrig's disease, but he still keeps the, the business going.
Oh, okay.
Um, but he sounds like, uh, Crush the turtle.
Crush the Turtle.
From Finding Nemo. "Yo, dude."
[laughs]
"It's epic."
[laughs]
Like, it's, it's weird how he, and he has a deep voice. He sounds fun.
[laughs]
Like, I, I would easily, if I was a Southern California radio programmer, I would hire him to do, like, the midday show-
[laughs]
... 'cause he's such a, such a fun dude, [laughs] honestly.
Do you think, do you think he'd voice track for us for, like, nothing?
Sure.
[laughs]
He's a billionaire.
Let's hit him up. Yeah.
So ...
"Are, are you bored, dude? [laughs] Do some voice tracking for us."
I'd love to hit him up. I feel like he'd be having fun with that.
[upbeat jazz music]
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, and I guess you're trying to torture me, Peaches.
It's Trash Talk Tuesday.
Trash Talk Tuesday. I haven't listened to this show in a long time.
Th- this-
So
... popped up on my Facebook feed, so I was basically forced to listen to it. 'Cause you know how Facebook, it autoplays for you?
Mm-hmm.
It autoplayed a little bit of the audio. I'm like, okay, I wanna hear what's so funny on this radio station. What's their, uh, morning show host talking about? And right away, I hear that forced deep fake Southern accent.
Mm-hmm.
And it's awful.
Yeah.
Like, uh, we were just talking about the Dutch Bros. co-founder having an awesome, fun voice, and he actually talks like that. This guy pretends he's Sam Elliott.
Well,
uh, I don't wanna push play, but I guess I'm gonna.
Please.
Oh, boy.
QP99. Good morning.
[laughs]
I'm Jeff Roper, and yes, we lost one of the good guys.
One of the good guys.
Chuck Norris, gone
after an incident, a medical emergency in Hawaii on Friday. It, it, it's really surreal to think about this.
He's 86.
Because he's not, he, we built him up in our minds-
Yeah, he was 86. He had a medical emergency
... to be such a tough guy, 'cause he was. And when he had that TV show, [upbeat country music] Walker,
Texas Ranger.
Yeah.
He pre-recorded this entire break for months, bro.
Oh yeah, Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the face.
We now call those animals giraffes.
[laughs]
[laughs] That's real true.
Chuck Norris, the only person who can slam a revolving door.
[laughs] Wow. Peaches, this break's three minutes long.
[laughs]
I-
Come on. We gotta sit through it.
[upbeat country music] Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He does earth downs.
[laughs]
I go-
There was no theory of evolution, just a list of acts
... I still listened to these before I, uh, did this break.
Yeah.
I chose my, I chose my favorite ones.
[laughs] Well done.
The only Ram 1500.
[laughs]
I don't know why he talks like that.
Animals that Chuck Norris allows-
Should
... to live on the planet.
Chuck Norris could divide by zero.
[laughs]
One of them's a little edgy.
There's no chin-
Yeah?
... behind Chuck Norris's beard.
This is a Family Guy reference right here.
There's only another fist.
That's a Family Guy joke.
Okay.
You know, Chuck Norris
could strangle you with a cordless phone.
[laughs]
Chuck Norris could hear sign language. Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
[laughs]
Chuck Norris-
Lost his virginity before his dad did.
[laughs]
He went a little crazy there.
[laughs]
All right, that did make me laugh.
[laughs]
He, he really did three minutes of just Chuck Norris jokes-
Yeah
... that he pulled up online. Oh.
[laughs]
Man.
That, that voice. I don't know how he can do it. Do you think he goes to the drive-thru-
Well, uh, think-
"Can I get myself a chalupa."
Ugh.
"With some fire sauce."
[laughs] I hope so. If you're gonna talk that way, just do it all the time.
"Give me that nacho cheese."
[upbeat music] Well, I found somebody online, Peaches, who I think is more bored than either of us.
This is in confession. You know, r/confession.
I thought you were about to dive deep into the, uh, Dull Men's Club on Facebook.
Oh, no, I've looked at that before. Uh, this is a confession of somebody saying they call random shops and department stores in New York City just to hear their accents. They just call them and chat it up for a minute. Um-
I, I can see what-
There's gotta be a way you could have more fun with this
... I can see what they're doing, [laughs] and it's ...
It sounds pretty funny, but I was thinking about the, the one guy who texts random numbers saying, "Hey, it's Chili's. Your table's ready."
[laughs]
And then, "Reply with sizzletastic to confirm."
[laughs]
Or something like that. And it's ... It, it ... I just ... I wanna do more phone pranks like that, but you can't even do them on the air, of course, so there's no point.
I know. I know. It's no fun if they're not real. But I, I don't know, I just can't imagine having the time to sit around and just look up random phone numbers [laughs] of businesses in New York City. I wanna hear what they sound like. It seems like it'd be more fun to call, like, Louisiana or something where, where they got one of the ... What do they call it? The Creole accent.
Oh, yeah.
It's really hard to understand.
Anybody who has a fun accent or can barely speak, I want them to do a liner for K-Bear.
[laughs] Well, I'm, I'm working on one, Peaches.
Uh, that's what I'm hoping for.
[laughs]
I want that one to happen.
That one's ... That one will happen.
I want him to do-
For sure
... uh, not only K-Bear, but also Peaches Pit Party-
[laughs]
... and The Victor Wills Show, of course.
Okay. [laughs]
'Cause, uh, that guy's a local man, and, uh, you know, we support local around here.
Absolutely. And if we can get, uh, local stars to appear in our imaging, we're, [laughs] we're always down for that. [laughs] Can you imagine if you called and then somebody picked up the phone and they talked like that? [laughs]
Oh, man, I'm trying to think of, like, what-
[laughs]
... what's the
... Well, I, any joke that I make is gonna ... Nah, never mind.
Uh, okay. Yeah. People are, like, they think this is so cute online. They're like, "It's so endearing to me. This is so cute." [laughs] I don't ... It just sounds like somebody-
How is this cute in any way?
Sound like somebody who needs a real hobby to me. I don't know. I mean, we could do the same thing. Should we just call a random number?
What do you mean, like-
Be like, "Hi. It's the radio station. We wanted to hear your accent."
Yeah. What, uh, what business do you think would have the most fun accent?
Uh, that's what I'm thinking. You know, down in Louisiana, like, uh, some type of a,
you know,
a place where you buy some Cajun food or something. You know? [laughs]
We should have James from Tennessee call in with his, uh ... He has a great accent. I like it.
Yeah. I haven't heard from him in a while.
Yeah.
Yeah, I wonder what he's been up to. But I don't know. I guess if somebody's bored, there's ... It's a,
I guess, safe activity. It's not harming anybody. It's just I was reading it and it seemed weird to me.
Hey, somebody call the, uh, Kewpie Morning Show, and-
[laughs] They wanna hear your accent
... hear the horrible accent that he, uh, he puts on as a fake Charron.
[laughs] [upbeat music] It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm Victor.
I'm Peaches, and smart glasses are becoming a problem now.
Yeah.
'Cause people are using them to film everything. I see a whole bunch of Instagram reels with people just, I don't know, jumping through the window of the Taco Bell drive-thru. [laughs]
Oh, geez.
And just taking over the kitchen with different characters.
[laughs]
Like, they have this whole dumb prank to just infiltrate the kitchen with Grimace or something like that, you know?
Sounds like, uh, either, you know, it's staged or-
No, it's-
... it's a crime
... it's, it's definitely a crime.
[laughs]
People wanna break the law for clout, Victor. That's what happens.
Dude, you see it all the time online. Uh, you know, people, uh, driving at high speed, doing all kinds of stupid things.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But, uh, I've been seeing here about, um, Meta is sparking privacy fears after unveiling a three, $300 smart glasses with hidden cameras.
Oh, great.
And all these, uh, people are like, "Well, I'm gonna wear a shirt that has a QR code," that all of a sudden installs malware onto those glasses.
Uh, I don't think it's quite that easy.
Right.
If it is, fantastic. That- that- that's fun.
But are we gonna reach that future where everybody has these smart glasses, and then you have to sign, like, a consent form, and then if you don't, you're just a blur?
Yeah.
Like Google i- like, uh, Google Maps.
Oh, yeah, 'cause you can get your, your house blurred out-
Mm-hmm
... on there.
If you really wanted to.
If you really want to.
People still know your address. Like, they looked up-
Yeah
... your address.
They just can't see what your house looks like.
Right.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
[laughs]
Yeah, the ... I, I know I've, uh, you know, been checking out, like, houses for sale before, and you'll have one of the neighbor's houses in town that's blurred out, and it, it does make me wonder why. Like, what drove them to, to blur it out?
You seem way more suspicious if you do something like that.
Should I go blur my house out just to be a weirdo? [laughs] I, I don't know what you gotta do to blur it out, but-
I have a friend like that-
... just seems like it might be fun
... who, who wants to keep everything just private private. And it's like, I wonder what's going on.
Yeah.
Like, he hides his flaws too by, like-
Mm
... not s- telling any single one of us what, like, how his life actually is.
Hm.
He just pretends it's all fine and dandy.
Yeah. Does he even use social media?
Barely.
Barely. Yeah.
Yeah, he gets mad when I make fun of 311 online like I did, uh, on that last post.
Oh, okay.
I didn't make fun of them. I just said I hated them.
Yeah.
But ...
That's ... Everybody has the right to an opinion.
Yeah, sure.
You know, we talked about all these things yesterday on this program and-
I saw a bunch of different posts with the s- the, the same prompt, and there was plenty of bands that I saw. I'm like, "Really, you hate that band, or did the internet tell you to do so?"
Yeah. Did you leave them a nasty comment?
No.
[laughs]
There, there was a, a, a few people that were like, "Why don't you play some of these bands you consider underappreciated?" I'm like, "I do."
Yeah.
Like, we, we do all the time.
We playedWe play all kinds of stuff
Just because, again, you don't hear it, doesn't mean we don't play it.
Yeah, we have, like, a thousand songs in rotation.
Mm-hmm.
You know? It takes a while for all of them to play.
And people do like the classics. I know I cannot stand Pearl Jam.
No.
I think Pearl Jam should've made my list. Uh, Nirvana, same thing. Like, you know, they're, they're overplayed. E- every single rock station overplays them, but people do like those songs.
They do. Those bands are still very popular to this day and-
You wouldn't believe-
No
... how many times I've heard the In Bloom intro of [singing].
[laughs] Well, imagine, you know, having 12 extra years of that, Peaches, [laughs] you know? I don't know how many times I've heard those songs, but.
But you know what's a great thing for our socials that we should do?
What?
Victor's hot take or Peaches hot take.
Yeah, those tend to get pretty good reactions.
Metal Hammer did one where it was, uh, Alice in Chains is way better than Nirvana.
I'd probably agree with that. [laughs]
That's what I also say, too.
[laughs]
I think Layne Staley is a far better singer.
Well, and the-
I think Jerry Cantrell's a far better musician.
The, they just have so many better songs.
They do.
You know, and even the stuff they're putting out today with a different vocalist is still really, really good.
Well, I mean, we can't say Nirvana's putting out new music 'cause, you know.
Yeah.
It's, they're the, the Foo Fighters now. [laughs]
[laughs] Oh, geez.
Whatever happened to that Krist guy, the tall dude in Nirvana?
I don't know what happened to ... He's just sitting back, collecting money, dude.
I'm assuming so. He's 6'7", which is crazy. That's like a type of tall dude in rock. Come on.
Trying to see if-
Get out there
... he can make a swimming pool that he can dive into full of cash that is, uh, as tall as him.
That's deep enough.
Yes. [laughs] But just sitting back. I bet that Nirvana money's some good money.
Do you think he's still making that money?
Oh, yeah.
Do you think he still makes money off of the, uh, uh ... Do you think the band overall, the band members make money off of, uh, like, Target selling a Nirvana T-shirt?
Y- dude, I'm sure they do.
'Cause I'm sure like-
I'm sure they have licensing deals
... I'm sure a company makes those, and then they have to m- give a cut to-
Yeah
... the Kurt Cobain estate, Dave Grohl and his family.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm s- dude, they're making bank. Making bank.
Yeah. That'd be-
Yeah
... crazy just to see some, like, teenager wearing a Nirvana shirt thinking it's a clothing brand.
What, what's the name of that, that guy? The, the bass player for Nirvana? Uh, Kris?
Krist Novoselic. [laughs]
Yeah, how do you spell it?
I don't know. Just, I think it's K-R-I-S-T.
Krist Novoselic. There we go. Krist.
Yeah, Krist.
With a T.
Yeah, yeah.
Novoselic. I'm gonna see what his net worth is according to the internet.
'Cause Dave Grohl is, like, you know, r- ridiculously rich, but he's got the Foos. Okay, they're, they, they guess 80 million or 100 million. Wow.
And-
All that for three songs.
[laughs]
Smells Like Teen Spirit and In Bloom. That's it. Thought about-
Put out a few albums 30 years ago and just letting that money roll in.
Ah, wouldn't that be nice?
Oh, it'd be great. Be fantastic.
We need to step up our AI music game.
[laughs] We really do.
[laughs]
[upbeat jazz music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.
[upbeat jazz music]