{ "version": "1.0.0", "segments": [ { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "0.0", "endTime": "17.664999", "body": "Hey, everybody. Welcome back to another one of these ten minute Mondays. Today, I wanna start off with this strange thought that I've caught myself honestly having more than just one time. I'll go a few days without drinking, and I'll start feeling really good, like really good. I'm sleeping well." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "17.664999", "endTime": "34.22", "body": "I'm working out. I feel better. I literally would be getting exactly what I wanted when I was taking a few days off trying to do all these test runs. Then sometime maybe around Thursday or Friday, this thought would show up. Feel really good." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "34.22", "endTime": "64.1", "body": "You know what? A drink would be really nice. It would just hit the spot, which is pretty funny when you think about it because I'm feeling good partly because I haven't been drinking, and somehow feeling good becomes part of the argument that I'm having for having a drink. I used to think maybe I was just changing my mind or kind of trying to convince myself, But there's actually more going on here. Think about the morning after a night when you went further than you wanted to." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "64.5", "endTime": "92.340004", "body": "Everything in that moment is really close. The bad sleep, that's happening right now. Maybe you woke up at three in the morning with your heart pounding or your mouth is dry or that anxiety is really in full effect. And probably along with all that, you're feeling bad about yourself because maybe one drink or two drinks turned into more. So in that moment, taking a few nights off sounds incredibly reasonable." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "92.74", "endTime": "113.005", "body": "You don't need anybody to convince you. You can see the evidence right there and you're committed. But maybe by Thursday, you can still remember what happened over the weekend, but you can't feel that Saturday morning the same way that you felt it on Saturday morning. That anxiety already passed. You're sleeping well again." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "113.244995", "endTime": "130.325", "body": "Maybe you got some workouts in. Whatever disappointment that you had has lost some of that force. And to add on top of that, maybe the other parts of drinking have become easier to remember. The dinner was fun. Maybe that first drink really hit the spot." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "130.325", "endTime": "161.02501", "body": "Maybe you laughed a little bit more than you normally would. Maybe you had some get together and you were sitting outside with somebody that you really liked and the whole thing was just a great experience. The thing is alcohol has a really good highlight reel. There's actually a phenomenon in memory research called the fading effect bias. Researchers found that unpleasant emotions attached to negative memories, they often fade faster than the emotion attached to positive ones." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "161.345", "endTime": "190.59502", "body": "That's probably useful most of the time. I'm really glad I can't remember embarrassing things that I did maybe twenty years ago without feeling exactly as embarrassed as I did twenty years ago. But it creates an interesting problem with alcohol because the benefit and the cost often arrive at completely different times. Basically, the part you wanted happens first. The anticipation, that first drink, that relaxation, maybe that conversation." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "190.99501", "endTime": "225.51001", "body": "The cost, however, might arrive many hours later or probably the next morning. Then maybe a few days pass by that are good, the emotional weight and baggage of those days starts to fade, and the positive part is still pretty easy to remember. So you can basically genuinely remember that you didn't like how you felt and how the night ended while also thinking, yeah, but you know what? Glass of wine sounds really nice right now. Those two things can exist at the same time." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "225.83", "endTime": "240.40501", "body": "And then there's a second thing that's working in the same direction. You've been doing well. Maybe you haven't had anything since the weekend. You've exercised, you've eaten well, you followed the plan that you made. Now your brain has another argument." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "240.725", "endTime": "258.29", "body": "I've been good, so I earn this. And there's a name for this version of you as well. It's called self licensing. And researchers found in experiments that putting in effort can make a later indulgence easier to justify. You probably recognize this without needing the research." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "258.29", "endTime": "286.46", "body": "You know, I worked out today, so I'm going to have this. I'm going have this treat. I haven't had anything all week, so tonight's fine. I've been eating really clean and well, eating all greens and no carbs, so I'm gonna have this dessert. What's interesting though is that you consider the restaurant and stare at a piece of cake maybe on the menu, that cheesecake always catches my eye, And have five minute board meetings in your head around, do I really need this?" }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "286.46", "endTime": "297.27502", "body": "That's kind of a lot of sugar. Is it gonna set me back? Alright. Maybe I'm just gonna have a bite to somebody's. Then maybe the server asked, would you have a glass of wine or would you like to have a refill?" }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "297.67502", "endTime": "321.74002", "body": "And that decision doesn't really take quite as much. The dessert needs a little bit more permission for most people, but the wine kinda already has that permission. So now you've got two things pointing in the same direction. The bad part of the memory has faded, and the good week gives you a little bit more of a reason to say yes. Feeling bad can make you wanna change your drinking." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "321.9", "endTime": "344.14", "body": "Feeling good can make your drinking seem safe again. And once I started paying attention to this, I noticed how flexible this argument can become. A hard day meant I needed relief. A good day meant I deserved a reward. A boring day could use something to make it more interesting, and a special day obviously called for celebration." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "344.54", "endTime": "359.525", "body": "Different days, same kind of answer. Eventually, that led me to a pretty useful question. What kind of day wouldn't justify a drink? Because the explanation can actually sound incredibly specific in the moment. Here's a few." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "359.525", "endTime": "366.805", "body": "Today was exhausting. We're celebrating tonight. It's Friday. I've been so good this week. We're on vacation." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "367.5", "endTime": "390.615", "body": "I haven't seen these people in forever. Each one of those feels like new information. But if almost every kind of day keeps you producing the same answer, the reason may be changing while the permission underneath stays the same. That doesn't mean that your reasons aren't valid or fake. A stressful day really can make a drink sound good." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "390.615", "endTime": "416.875", "body": "A celebration is different from an ordinary Tuesday, and sometimes you've just had a great week and you want a drink. You have one or two, and you're completely happy with that decision. The point is just to see the whole decision because alcohol's high light real can make it surprisingly difficult. I've noticed this after long stretches of not drinking as well. After enough time, I start remembering alcohol through its best lens." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "417.11502", "endTime": "433.57", "body": "A cold drink, somewhere warm. Wine, it goes really good with a dinner or a movie. You know, going on a vacation, of course. And those memories, they're real, and I really did enjoy those. But they aren't the whole relationship." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "433.57", "endTime": "469.335", "body": "The ordinary nights count to the refill that I didn't need. That does also staying up later than I wanted to, and then waking up the next day and losing part of a productive morning. The trouble is that those parts aren't always equally available in my mind when the next decision arrives. And I don't think the answer is trying to make yourself feel guilty again. I definitely don't want to spend a Thursday afternoon recreating a Saturday morning anxiety that I want to forget and trying to scare myself away from having a glass of wine, and that doesn't work anyways." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "469.655", "endTime": "490.52", "body": "You just wanna notice when the highlight reel has started playing and recognize it for what it is. So here's an experiment to try this week. The cue is the moment that when a drink suddenly sounds very reasonable after you've been doing really good, maybe taking a break for the week. And maybe that thought is, you know, I've been doing good all week. Maybe I just feel great." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "490.76", "endTime": "504.575", "body": "Or maybe it's simply, you know, a drink would be really nice right now. When that thought shows up, ask just one question. What part of that story am I leaving out right now? That's it. Maybe you're leaving out nothing." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "504.575", "endTime": "529.525", "body": "Maybe you look at the whole experience and you still think, hey, a drink still fits into my night. Well, if that's the answer, great. Or maybe you realize that you're remembering the dinner, but you're forgetting how the night ended. Maybe you're remembering that first glass of the night, but not the fourth or the fifth and so on. You're remembering Friday evening and leaving out Saturday morning in that story." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "529.84503", "endTime": "552.585", "body": "You don't have to get all serious on yourself by doing this. You just have to put that information back in the room before you decide. Because sometimes, I feel great, a drink would be nice, is exactly what it sounds like. And sometimes alcohol's highlight reel has gotten so good that the part of that story that made you wanna change has kinda quietly disappeared. Okay." }, { "speaker": "Speaker 1", "startTime": "552.585", "endTime": "564.9976", "body": "Thanks for hanging out with me this week. If you got anything out of this, of course, rate and review wherever you're listening. Send me an email, mike@sunnyside.co. And until next time, cheers to your mindful drinking journey." } ] }