Show Notes
TRANSCRIPT FOR EP26:
EP#26- DATING OR HOOLIGAN W MONEY- LOVE, HAPPY & JOY
Welcome to SHE is Confident. Hi! This is Deon Teh and in this episode, I will be sharing with you about LOVE, HAPPY & JOY.
In this modern society especially with social media, everyone seems to be happy, joyful and full of love.
But when we are unhappy, we will hide away.
I realised that we behave in this way due to our upbringing. Looking back at my parents and grandparents, they grew up in an environment where there was no self love. The way my grandparents treated my parents is the same way that my parents treated me too.
My grandparents did not allow themselves to enjoy life, constantly worry about money, and I see this in my parents as well. My parents only worked and did not spend money for themselves. They feel that no matter how hard they work, they cannot earn enough money and that made them unhappy. Hence they depended on their children, asking them to always study hard, and get good results, then a job that pays well. Their happiness was built on the achievements of their children.
I grew up learning that it is difficult to be happy and in order to be happy I need to be able to earn lots of money, and if I don't, I am a failure and will not get any happiness.
As I was studying , my parents had the same hopes for me. As I was not good in my studies,
I worry that I have failed them as I might not get a good paying job, unable to earn lots of money and have a good and happy life.
I lost both of my parents at the age of 22, at that time I was still struggling with my job, my relationship with this world and also myself.
However, I received unconditional love from my husband and my sister, Even though I did many terrible things that were intolerable, in the end they still stood by me.
On the outside, I tried to please everyone so that they will be nice to me, and in order to let others feel happy, I will hide my unhappiness. I bottled up my unhappiness and my temper started to get worse. I became unreasonable and unleashed my unhappiness at people who are close to me.
At work, I was a demanding boss, and all the employees were scared of me. My health was also affected and I even had to undergo 2 day surgeries. I did not know what kind of life I wanted to lead and I turned to food for comfort and became a big eater, eating lots of unhealthy food and snacks.
Last year I read the book called The Gift of Anger: And Other Lessons from My Grandfather Mahatma Gandhi, this book talks about How to understand anger, violence, lies, loneliness, and humility.
After reading this book, I found that I can convert those anger and energy of me eating junk food, into passionate and positive energy for my work. I no longer need to be angry at work and my relationship with my staff became better.
I learnt that I need to love myself, unconditionally, and until i am able to fill my cup, I will not have extra love for anyone.
Now, I fill my heart with positivity and do as my heart says, and I am able to feel love and joyful.
I care for myself and at the same time I am mindful of my surroundings, I will give help within my means or seek level help for others. I don't expect anything in return just like how a mother gives selflessly to her child.
Although I follow my heart but I will not do things to hurt others, when I meet someone who exhibits the same behaviours as I did before, I am able to think in their shoes and give them the support to be aware of their issues.
I used to think that if I’m lacking in love, happiness and joy in my life, how can I help or bring joy to others.
I found that in recent years, after chasin and searching for them, I actually have it in my life all these while.
I became a warmer person and more willing to listen to others, I became a better communicator and able to handle the challenges of my work.
With a change in attitude and mindset, I realised that when everyone in the company is well treated and can feel the love, happiness and joy, they will in turn become more energetic and willing to open their heart for the company and work together as a team.
Self love and self care is a very important part of your life and do listen to my previous episode where I share with you the benefits and ways to do so.
We treat people the way we want to be treated and this is an important mind set that you need to have
In order to be a better person with lots of love and joy.
There is a reason behind everything we face, it may be a lesson for us to learn, or a chance for us to improve ourselves and overcome our weaknesses. Hence even if you avoid it, you will have to face it over and over again until you deal with it.
There is no magic in this world, we need to put effort into becoming who we want to be. We cannot depend on the world or others to change and suit us. We must first change in order to see changes in others.
We have to come face to face with whatever we need to deal with honestly and don't try to escape away from it. Only when we are at peace with our negatively , then and we convert it into positivity.
If you want to talk about transforming your inner child, healing your relationships with yourself and money, connect with me through my Facebook and the link is in the show notes.
I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you THE POWER OF FAITH.